No, No, No, John Roberts Wasn't Extorted, He Is Just Stupid From Epilepsy

The loyal opposition and our fellow Merkins on the savage right have been having a very hard 24 hours, what with trying to come to terms with how they were totally raped in their bottoms by a man, a Justice, a CHIEF JUSTICE they thought was their friend, but who it turns out is the kind of communist socialist maoist Kenyan anti-colonial who would allow the terrible socialist communism that is private insurance companies continuing to hold sway over the health care of the nation.

First, they thought they knew the answer and it was that Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts had been extorted by President Idi Amin, and that arrests would be coming at any moment. Now, though, they've got a better explanation: John Roberts is on anti-seizure medications for epilepsy, and they are making him tarded.

Thanks to ThinkProgress, we can offer you the audio from one Great American Hero, Mr. Michael Savage, as he explains the whole tragic mess:

TP even transcribed it! Thanks TP!

Let’s talk about Roberts. I’m going to tell you something that you’re not going to hear anywhere else, that you must pay attention to. It’s well known that Roberts, unfortunately for him, has suffered from epileptic seizures. Therefore he has been on medication. Therefore neurologists will tell you that medication used for seizure disorders, such as epilepsy, can introduce mental slowing, forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. And if you look at Roberts’ writings you can see the cognitive dissociation in what he is saying.

We are very worried about the state of John Roberts' health, you guys, and how it is making him so very stupid. If only there were some kind of program that could help him get the kind of care that all Americans deserve.

[ ThinkProgress ]