Running from the death panels, probablyWho will be the greatest hero in the struggle against the tyranny that is having medical care like every other Western nation? Will it be Scott Walker? Will it be Bobby Jindal? Will they throw on tights and capes and be a dynamic duo for freedom? Duh, of course they will.

“We’re not going to start implementing Obamacare,” Jindal said flatly. Under his watch, Louisiana will not set up any of the required state heath care exchanges where, starting in 2014, Americans will be able to buy subsidized private health insurance. […]

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker also said Thursday that he would not implement the law, and GOP candidates for governor made similar vows to block implementation.

Walker and Jindal, the newest team of crime-stoppers, in this case, fighting the crime against humanity that is you seeing the doctor! How will they fight this particular crime? By refusing to uphold the law of the land! They are Gandhi times MLK plus Batman & Robin all mixed up in a “hero” sandwich!

Unfortunately for the citizens of Louisiana and Wisconsin, the federal government will now just step in and create the state exchanges (where you can buy insurance even if you are a poor) for them.

And Bobby Jindal and Scott Walker will probably go to jail forever, in the FEMA camps, on the FEMA trains, if they aren’t burnt on a pyre or don’t launch themselves over the cliff Butch & Sundance style, or Thelma & Louise style, or Brokeback Mountain style or what have you, for freedom. Also, we almost forgot, they are Nelson Mandela too.


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  • nounverb911

    What's little Bobby going to say when the Feds come in federalize Obamacare in Louisiana?

    • You mean Obomneycare?

      • Callyson

        *Somebody's* pissed he did not make the short list for VP…

        • One thing's for sure: if he did, he's off it now.

    • ShreditorsDesk

      'Little Honey Bobby just don't give a shit!'

    • If he keeps his eyes closed and prays hard enough, he's sure those nasty Feds will just go away.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        I think he and Scotty Koch are really cowards. If the Feds showed up, they'd shit and piss themselves.

    • prommie

      I suspect he will stand aside, when told to. I met the man who was sent to tell a governor by the name of Wallace to stand aside on the steps of the admin building of a big old University somewhere one time. Nick Katzenbach. Really tall guy.

      • Just died. Smart man, too.

        • prommie

          Did you know Vivian Malone is Eric Holder's sister-in-law?

      • Chichikovovich

        I still remember his testimony to Congress during the Bork hearings. Spectacular.

    • Terry

      Nothing. He's going to cash the Federal checks and pretend that his refusal meant something.

    • CindynEncinitas

      He will call in Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, his cousins.

  • Barb

    Hey Bobby and Scott, here's some advice for you. You know how great it is to awaken to surprise sex in the morning? It's not as much fun in prison, I'm just sayin'.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Maybe they can get a cell together so they can role play the "surprise".

    • MacRaith

      No, I really doubt these two guys know anything at all about surprise morning sex.

  • luckily residents of these 2 states are all in tip-top shape.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I cannot upfist you enough for this.

      • ph7

        I now have a new opening line.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Now that the Supreme Court has greenlighted it, maybe Obama should push for a law to force those Louisiana fatasses to put down the French fries and eat their goddamned broccoli. Maybe we could appoint Michelle broccoli Kzar? Just an idea.

    • Puffperney

      Second only to West (by God) Virginia.

  • CrunchyKnee

    So brave!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    These law and order types don't seem to like law and order.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Only the laws they like and the order they want to impose. Otherwise, not so much.

      If they don't like it, it must not be a law.

      Also, it's not hypocrisy if they do it.

  • By 2014, after Obama's second inauguration, both governors will accept funding and expand Medicaid.

    • sewollef

      Someone, somewhere will step in and have a quiet word with them and, as you say, they'll accept the inevitable. But they'll do it quietly. While simultaneously denouncing anyone else who takes the 30 shekels of silver from the anti-christ.

      Oh, one more thing. Both Jingles and Walker are dog shite on my shoe.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Will Jindal and Walker join Obama in jail, since I heard he was going to be led away in handcuffs yesterday for blackmailing Chief Justice Roberts? That DID happen, did it not?

    • Serolf_Divad

      Nope… apparently Obama blackmailed the guys who were coming to arrest him, too. And he's promised to blackmail the next 100 guys they send.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Aw, man. I was so looking forward to JUSTICE.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        We put a black male in the White House, doh!

      • prommie

        Man, that Obama is the most blackmailing black male ever!

      • YasserArraFeck

        And those he can't blackmail, he can have murdered by Bill&Hillary.

      • tessiee

        Get it? Ya get it, huh? [elbow nudge]
        Because he's like, a black guy, ya get it?

  • ChernobylSoup

    Less Gandhi, more Mother Teresa. You know, because suffering is a gift from god.

    ht Christopher Hitchens.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Jindal is also implementing his new Cheneycare program, where sick babies are waterboarded until they pledge to not be sick anymore. This will, inevitably, bring down Louisiana's appalling child mortality rate, which is completely caused by Obamacare.

    • Serolf_Divad

      but first they're screened for blood type and other factors just in case they'd make a good organ donor for Cheney's next heart.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And then Cheney yells, "Pull!"

        • Serolf_Divad

          But misses and shoots his hunting partner in the face instead, baby crawls away clean. Barack Obama sails to re-election. Happy ending. The end.

  • Arken

    Oh just fucking secede already.

    • And then the Free State of New Orleans secedes from Louisiana.

      I believe there were some contingency plans drafted back when David Duke was running for Governor that need to be dusted off.

    • Serolf_Divad

      What, and give up all those Federal dollars? Much better just to fly the Confederate flag over the statehouse and keep threatening to seceede.

      • sewollef

        They're not just any old federal dollars…. they're MY federal dollars, and pretty much anyone else's who lives in a northern state, since every single southern state is a net recipient of federal tax dollars.

        If they seceded, the United States would be so much better off — financially and morally.

        • this has been really burning us up recently (mr fuflans and i). they're such petulant little brats (and we were talking about this before the first great wingnut meltdown of 2012), always suing the feds, refusing regulations, trying to stop things that other states want, etc.

          so we think the net contributor states should do likewise – and refuse to be net contributors. until – i don't know – we all get free opera tickets or household volcanic monitoring or something.

  • noodlesalad

    Segregated health care (for poors, duh) now, segregated health care tomorrow, segregated health care forever!

  • ShreditorsDesk

    Aren't death panels custom made for these guys?

    • LesBontemps

      I've lined my walls with custom-made mahogany death panels.

  • Dumbedup

    Don't you get the feeling that the extremist right wing turd is circling the drain now faster and faster? Like at some point everybody finally realizes these people are completely cynical or completely nuts and just laughs at them mercilessly?

    • Geminisunmars

      It would be nice to think so, but they seem to have some staying power. As hard as we are all flushing, they are still here.

    • GunToting[Redacted]


      Oh wait… You were serious? Sorry.

    • emmelemm

      Aren't you a cock-eyed optimist?

    • CindynEncinitas

      "People?" Well aren't we generous!

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      And the ruling is supposedly going to re-energize the TPers?
      Yeah, that'll work out well for the GOP come November.
      "Let's just dial up the crazy, y'all! We can't possibly lose!"

    • Boojum

      Extreme right wing turds are floaters.

  • sullivanst

    The Exchange concept is really the absolute embodiment of capitalism. Give the people choice and information about their choices, and let the magic hand do the rest.

    This petulant refusal to do things that are not just consistent with, but almost demanded by, the core principles goobers claim to believe in just goes to prove that they're unprincipled liars motivated far more by blind hatred of Democrats than any rational, or even irrational, conception of what's good for the country.

    It's quite disturbing that these assholes get even a single vote in any election.

    • Serolf_Divad

      I thought the slaughterhouse was the complete embodyment of Capitalism.

      • sullivanst

        Depends whether you're thinking of Adam Smithy "I think this is the best system for all" capitalism or Ayn Randy "I hate people so fuck everyone" anarchocapitalism.

        • Chichikovovich

          Yeah, but does Adam Smith style capitalism have working perpetual motion machines? I don't think so!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I honestly tried to imagine one of them as Batman, even the dumpy Adam West style Batman, but I just couldn't make it happen. Bobby Jindal and Scott Walker are both Robins.

    • sullivanst

      … to the Koch brothers' Batmans

      • Boojum

        Kochs are Joker and Riddler.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Scott + Bobby = Scoobby. Runnin' around robbin' banks all whacked on the Scoobby snacks.

    • sullivanst

      Nothing fun lovin' about those criminals.

  • mavenmaven

    Let's face it, in our USA now, the mutually exclusive priority is either bolstering health care or prisons. We know which choice Louisiana made.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When medical care is outlawed, only outlaws will get medical care.

      Lousiana voters must be thrilled to see that Jindal is getting ahead of the curve on the future of American health care.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Sco-bby! They make a lovely couple.

    • gullywompr

      Help us, Scobbywan, you are our only hope!

  • privatejoker77

    Civil War? Supremacy Clause? We don't need any of that bullshit.

    • prommie

      They're forgetting the civil rights era, too.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    These two are probably the wimpiest looking governors in the 50 states and the thought of them in tights makes me a little nauseous. How is Chris Christie weighing in on this subject?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "How is Chris Christie weighing in on this subject? "

      In Louisiana, he'd have to be weighed at the Cotton Gin.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Well, now you've done it. I won't be hungry for weeks.

    • PsycWench

      Not enough Lycra in the word, Grumpe.

    • sullivanst

      At about 500lbs.

    • Puffperney

      The horror, the horror.

    • Boojum

      Seriously. Time for a beat down.

      Oh yes, with votes and such. Big hickory handled votes.

  • The subcommittee staffers who wrote the bill realized that through evil intent or incompetence some states would miss the deadline for implementing insurance exchanges.

    So–fuck you Walker, Jindal and the rest of the mouth-breathers.

  • Antispandex

    At-tic-a, At-tic-a, At-tic-a! If the poor want health care, they will have to rip it from our cold, dead, fingers!

  • SorosBot

    Assholes like Walker and Jindal could try and set up the exchanges in ways designed to be as inefficient as possible, to try and screw over beneficiaries; luckily by being idiots, stomping their feet and refusing to play along the feds will just create the exchanges themselves and do a better job of it. Their temper tantrum will prevent them from fucking things up.

    • Unfortunately, Corbett is no idiot. He'll find a way to play subversively along.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Jindal sounds like a terrorist name. He is brown.

  • orygoon

    I always hated the kids like them in school.

    • tessiee

      So did everyone else, even the teachers.

  • Because what could be more State's Righty than letting the federales run your system?

    In Baja Nebraska the sainted footwasher-in-chief & former snowflake baby Sam Brokeback even turned down $30 mil in federal bribes that would have paid for creating the state program. Now the locals' taxes will go to support other states that successfully avoid the jackboot of federally controlled affordable health care oppression.

    "Stupid is as stupid does, sir."

  • The image, with its combination of muted (gray; olive) and primary (yellow; red) colors has me wishing it was Alan Grayson wearing the hero costume — and he does occupy that status, in my mind — but I can't think who his sidekick would be.

    • SorosBot

      But considering that he shares his last name with Robin no. 1, the one from the TV show, shouldn't that be Alan's costume?

      • sullivanst

        If Grayson is Robin, does that mean Batman is 2006's Time Magazine Person of the Year?

      • he shares his last name with Robin no. 1

        YES — that's true! Earlier I was just working a pun on colors in legislators' names… Now I wanna do the joke over again, boo.

    • Dennis Kucinich, obvs. You'd need someone really short.

      • Do you remember, Grayson's head is massive. Someone with just a normal-size head and average height would still probably look dwarfed by him.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Enough of Alan West, already. Wait … what?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Unfortunately for the citizens of Louisiana and Wisconsin, the federal government will now just step in and create the state exchanges (where you can buy insurance even if you are a poor) for them.

    It's the independent-minded, go-it-alone approach of those rugged Republicans to let the federal government pick up the slack and care for their states' citizens.

  • prommie

    No health care now, no health care tomorrow, no health care forever!

    And some political cartoonist better get all over that!

  • phlox✔

    Gotta hand it to Jindal, he's a fool and a tool, but at least he not an insanely evil, power hungry toad like Scotty.

  • ph7

    Scott Wlaker will turn the fire hoses on the children showing up for their vaccines.

    • Serolf_Divad

      And thank goodness. Vaccines cause mental retardation, at least that's what Michelle Bachmann told me.

      • HogeyeGrex

        If anyone should know from mental retardation…

        • LesBontemps

          Careful, there.

      • tessiee

        Also that noted medical expert Jenny McCarthy.

        • DahBoner

          Jenny McCarthy gets great health care–every time she poses for Playboy, Dr Hef gives her beaver the once over….

  • shortsandpants

    Bobs Jindal is using the "glory hole" technique. He doesn't want to know where the subsidies are going, just as long as they end up in his mouth somehow.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    At Supermax, their Superfriends names will be Buttman and Throbbin'.

  • Billmatic

    Okay so, over/under 2016 for the Walker/Jindal presidential bid.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So "laws" are really just "guidelines"? Good to know.

    • LesBontemps

      More like suggestions, really.

    • Dildeaux

      That speed limit sign is just there for decoration.

  • ElPinche

    Why does Scott Walker and Bobby Jindal hate the Constitution?

    • TribecaMike

      Because that part about promoting the general welfare was shoved down the founding fathers' throats by Marx and Engels.

  • MissTaken

    Jindal is missing out on the opportunity to stack Louisiana's exchange with voodoo healers and exorcists. Damn shame because now the Feds will use "doctors" instead.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Vooodoo healers? Are you kidding me? Voodoo healers are a product of ignorance and superstition whose supposed "cures" are nothing more than money making scams designed to take advantage of the desperation and naivetee of those who have nowhere else to turn to treat their terminal ailments. Christian faith healers, on the other hand, are emissaries of the baby Jesus himself and they'll cure you of your prostate cancer just by tapping on your forehead while they pray out loud.

    • Wilcoxyz

      Just FYI, Jindal claims to have witnessed an exorcism while in college. He seems to think this will keep the white bible thumpers in the state from calling him a muslim.

      • Witnessed? He participated in it. Oddly, he wasn't he one being exorcised.

  • FraAnima

    The power of Christ compels you!

    The power of Christ compels you!

    The power of Christ compels you!

    There. All better.

    • not that Radio

      The bed is on my foot!

      The bed is on my foot!

      • FraAnima

        Why you do this to me Dimmi?

      • FraAnima

        Your mama sews socks that smell!

  • Post needs moar "BIFF!" and "KAPOW!"

    • Oblios_Cap


      • Nostrildamus


  • Ruhe

    Does Jindal not realize that the insurance exchanges, if set up by the feds, could easily end up being managed by out of work volcanologists?

  • elburritodeluxe

    A guy who made his money by fleecing the current system, Florida's Gov. Rick Scott, is also fightin the Kenyan Socialist plan, too. And he obviously knows a thing or two, about the subject since he was involved in the largest Medicaid fraud case in U.S. history.

    • Serolf_Divad

      You say potayto I say potaaahto… one man's Medicaid fraud is just another man's yacht.

    • Guppy

      I'm sure he his wife stands to make a lot of money either way.

  • freakishlywrong

    Two words, Jindal; "Volcano Monitors".

  • Callyson

    Democrats and health care advocates are skeptical that conservative governors will be willing to turn the money down, no matter how much they publicly loathe the law that generated the cash. While both Jindal and McDonnell strongly criticized the Medicaid expansion on Friday, neither explicitly pledged not to take the money.

    As usual, "follow the money" when talking about Republicans…

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Let their Christian education teach them what they need to learn down there.

    • sewollef

      Without wanting to go OT and talk about s-e-x… when you say, "down there", do you mean 'down there in the south' or down there, near my nether regions?

      You are referring to Christian education after all…

  • elburritodeluxe

    Batman and Robin are running to the bank to start a Health Savings Account!

  • freakishlywrong

    I can't take my eyes off that picture. It looks like Batman just ate some lady lumps.

  • mrpuma2u

    Federal Marshalls will have to escort the young children to the soshuliss health care clinics with the evil hippie doctors and tatted up lesbian nurses.

  • I can't even with these goatblowing assclowns. I can't figure out if they're actively evil, abysmally stupid, or some combination of the two. And I guess I just answered my own question.

    • freakishlywrong

      Look at Walker's eyes. A clear combination of the two.

    • BklynE

      As a goat, I am quite offended that you would infer that I would allow Walker near my genitalia. Jindal, on the other hand, I have known intimately for years…

    • emmelemm

      Goat-blowing Assclowns is my new band name.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I never quite got this. So Bruce Wayne and, his youthful ward, Dick Grayson apparently would have very good Health Care. However, Batman and Robin would not have social security numbers, wouldn't take money for there works, and certainly don't pilfer ill gotten gains from their Speical Guest Villains. So, these fine crime fighters don't/wont have Health Care?

    I would think billionaire Bruce Wayne would start a fund for them. Am I missing something here?

  • I keep seeing Adam and chum doing the "Bat-tusi."

  • Goonemeritus

    What with the Nation’s highest median income and total lack of poverty in Louisiana Governor Jindal can make a strong case for this action.

  • glamourdammerung

    Too bad that we have to wait a year and a half for the feds to cart these clowns to jail.

  • lochnessmonster

    Egh Our residents don't need to see no doctor! They all have sleeves to wipe their noses on!

    • tessiee

      Also, they warsh theyselves with a rag on a stick.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Jindal/Walker 1838!

  • lulzmonger

    This brave stand from The Man Without A Chin & Volcano-Exorcist Boy holds exactly the same degree of credibility as Poppy Bush's "read my lips (if you can find them)" vow regarding no new taxes in the previous millennium.

    Money where your lying mouths are, fuckers … & I hope you look good in orange.

  • YouBetcha

    Walker and Jindal? Worst gay porn ever.

  • finette_

    Congress is also about to cut $650 million from Louisiana's Medicaid reimbursement, to get back at Mary Landrieu for supporting Obamacare. They have attached both that and the RESTORE Act (which is good and funnels BP fine money to the Gulf states) to the transportation bill, so there is basically no way it will not pass.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    "….the federal government will now just step in and create the state exchanges (where you can buy insurance even if you are a poor) for them. "

    Walker and Jindhal asking for it to be shoved down their throat.

  • anniegetyerfun

    You know what always surprised me about the original Batman, other than the fact that it exists? It's that some costume designer said to themselves, "What that ill-fitting mask really needs is a pair of comical white eyebrows."

  • HarryButtle

    Jan Brewer's got her Batgirl tights ready to go! Ew.

  • tessiee

    What is it about little Bobby Jindal that makes me think he's no stranger to wearing tights, if you know what I mean, and I think you do?

    • Boojum

      Because he is a Rodeo Assclown?

  • Puffperney

    Maybe non-participation in the national healthcare program would get the poors to "self-deport" to a participating state! Win!

    • Boojum

      Actually, yes, as labor supply would drop and therefore wages would increase in the sending State, resulting in higher incomes for the remaining poors. Win win!

  • Dildeaux

    Good on Jindal and Walker. If their precious fee fees will be collectively damaged by accepting federal monies for healthcare-preventing these two states from enacting ACA- then the best and only solution is to take those monies earmarked for LA and WI and send those monies to states that will enact the legislation. Those state will welcome the help. The ultimate "Fuck you, go your own way" snub from the WH. If you wanna act like childish third world punks, then go for it.

  • DahBoner

    Excuse me Booby, that Armani suit you're wearing…


  • ttommyunger

    Bobby and Scott, the Frick and Frack of Dickwaddery.

  • tessiee

    “Flanders, I thought I was your plow man!” – Homer Simpson
    “Uh, Homer, why don’t you plow it again.” – Ned Flanders
    “Forget it, pal! I don’t need your phony baloney job. I’ll take your money, but I’m not gonna plow your driveway.” – Homer Simpson

  • TribecaMike

    The analogy to Gandhi (re his time in South Africa) isn't wide off the mark. Walker and Jindal want to keep blacks down too.

  • timbo71351

    Louisiana residents continue to take a back seat to Jindal's political ambitions. It's sad. He was elected to do a job to help the people of this state, and he's mainly concerned with sucking up to national wingnuts.

  • poorgradstudent

    We are a nation of laws unless your side feels butthurt.

  • miss_grundy

    Someone check that Jindhal asshat's birth certificate. I want that long form and I want to kick him in the peen right into the Gulf. He can then be eaten by a passing shark or barracuda. Oooooooooo, Indian food.

  • BZ1

    Where are those death panels when you need them?

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