sit n spin

Heads The Gop Wins, Tails Barack Obama Loses, The Washington Post Explains

The fix is inWhen even Pegs Nooner is left to moan into her (METAPHORICAL!) Vicodin bottle that President Francisco Franco has had a very good day, where can the poor spinmeisters of the Republican National Committee turn for a warm hug of tea and sympathy?

Why, the Washington Post’s “The Fix,” of course!

While our initial readout in the aftermath of the Court’s decision was that this was a good thing for President Obama and, hence, a bad thing for Republicans, it’s a more intriguing question to debate whether downballot Democrats could pay the price for the Administration’s victory on the health care issue.

Is it, The Fix? Is it “more intriguing”? Perhaps you would like to serve up nine paragraphs from a melange of completely honest Republicans with absolutely no reason to try to spin you, about what a disaster the Democrats’ victory will be for the Democrats, before getting to a quote from a Democrat, as if there even is such a thing?

[Eight paragraphs by, for and about Republicans, excised for you, the busily unemployed Wonkette reader currently shoving artisanal Little Debbie snack cakes into your snack cake hole.]

“I think this is such a disaster for Democrats,” said National Republican Senatorial Committee executive director Rob Jesmer. “We can credibly say there is only one way to get rid of health care and that is legislatively.”

Not so fast, insist Democratic strategists who argue that Thursday’s ruling handed their party’s candidates a foolproof political response to Republican attacks.

“It’s the strongest possible validation for incumbents — a tremendous amount of political cover,” said Jim Jordan, a longtime operative and former executive director at the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. “Republicans in conservative states can debate with [Chief Justice] John Roberts all they want.”

Oh, look at that, The Fix did some journalism and allowed a “Democrat” to respond, after nine paragraphs of pure hackery.

But we think we, The Fix, and all Americans can agree: This is excellent news for John McCain.

[WaPo]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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124 comments

    1. Callyson

      They do still have the best political cartoonists, Tom Toles and Ann Telnaes. Otherwise, yeah, they pretty much suck.

  1. ChernobylSoup

    There you go Dems. Let's talk about 'political cover' instead of , maybe, running on the merits of the health care law?

    1. Chow Yun Flat

      Exactly. Instead of "We accomplished this despite everything the right wing could try to stop us. This is how the ACA is good for you know, will be good for you and your children in the future and makes the United States a stronger, more prosperous and more civilized place", we get political cover.

    2. Chichikovovich

      Yes!! What you and Chow Yun Flat said.

      There are so many parts of this law that are popular (young people on parents insurance, pre-existing conditions, etc.) that the Republican leadership was starting to float trial balloons about keeping them somehow [they wouldn't do it, of course, but they were positioning themselves to say "elect me and I will keep these"], so that they could avoid the fallout from all these people who now have insurance suddenly not having it.

      So let's talk about those parts. Over and over. Screw the "horse race" talk.

      1. Biff

        The part about young'ns being allowed to remain covered on Daddy's policy until 26 is the part that I thought the fat cats would especially love, seeing as how they're the only ones with coverage to keep their little monsters insured with anyway. When I was growing up, we didn't have insurance. And we LIKED it.

    3. usuhname

      In the liberal game book of strategy I think that one is called Let the Retards Call A Spade A Tomato Plant Until Loudness Makes It True

  2. EatsBabyDingos

    And Jennifer Rubinmyprivates says "my love for Mittens burns like the heat of a thousand sons with herpes."

  3. Joshua Norton

    According to NPR this morning, the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the ACA is "good news for Mitt Romney".

    Obviously, it was also good news for John McCain.

    1. Dr. Nick Riviera

      OMFG NPR! I didn't think it was possible to find a more milquetoast group of losers that suck up to people that hate them than the Democrats but there you go.

      1. MissTaken

        I really "liked" the story on NPR this morning about the poor, sad insurance broker company that must now get into life or homeowner's insurance because they can no longer charge ass-high admin fees or reject people with preexisting conditions. The asshole couldn't even figure out how to turn on a television or watch the ruling on the interwebs. Fuck you, so-called job creator, fuck you!

      2. fuflans

        right. the past two days have been a kama sutra of twists to explain the apparently inexplicable:

        bamz won, republicans lost.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, they kept trying to say it put to be his liabilities/exposure from Massachusetts. Only he didn't get the memo, and suddenly decided the ACA is bad policy, which basically raises the question of WTF the Mass plan is then? Other than apparently hugely popular with the voters in the state.

  4. Chow Yun Flat

    “We can credibly say there is only one way to get rid of health care and that is legislatively.”

    Nice of the Repubs to put it out there so clearly. Legislate the end of all health care for everyone.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Not completely — as Maryland's Governor O'Malley noted, "The only health care mandate Republicans can embrace are transvaginal probes for women."

    2. Biff

      They're forgetting their own Senate Minority Leader's #1 job, defeating Obama in November. You know, with votes.

  5. MLHencken

    Dame Noonington is offendedth that the boorish dark-skinned man hath a moment of reprieve. She shall resume pillorying him posthaste!

          1. BerkeleyBear

            I dunno, he's just a little darker than the average paper bag, so I'm not sure that's the right slice of hatred.

  6. prommie

    You know, you could probably do a grown-up version of that sit-n-spin for the ladies that would be quite the thrill-ride, if you get my drift, wink wink!

        1. jodyleek

          Oh! Oh, my! Now, I have a suggestion…could we engineer this contraption so that it projects a hologram of, I don't know, let's say Javier Bardem? The jiggling, the play of the water, the Javier hologram showering, the bubbles gliding down his firm, swarthy manhood…oh, oh my god, oh my god, oh, oh, oooohhhhhh!

          Nah, it would never work.

      1. proudgrampa

        I am more intrigued by the "Venus 2000."

        "It is easy to use: simply insert yourself into a lubricated, flexible, natural gum rubber liner. Turn on V2000 and adjust the stroke length and speed."

        Wow.

    1. MissTaken

      I cannot tell you how disappointed I was when I moved into my apartment and discovered I had one of those 'dryer-on-top-of-the-washer' doohickeys.

      No more spin cycle rides for MissTaken :(

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Hmm…. there may be a market for attachments here. I wonder if I can call it The Maytag Man™.

    2. oldedinvn

      Dang. I get excited when you talk dirty.
      Please say that you were.
      Whoops, my fault. I get excited when a lady says good day.

  7. La_Cieca

    "Those hiccups seem to come more and more now, and closer and closer together," wrote Peggy Noonan, her sense of irony anesthetized by sweet, sweet ethanol.

    1. prommie

      To paraphrase the Great Homer, "Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

  8. noodlesalad

    I think we can all agree that the health care bill needs more debate by the very best cable news heads and op-ed columnists, forever and ever until we all die from stabbing our ears and eyes out, ending the need for health care.

    1. scvirginia

      That is indeed a cunning plan- thank you for pointing it out to those of us who didn't see the point of the inanity.

  9. PsycWench

    This will be a disaster for Democrats since they've lost the tea party vote that they were so counting on. And they also lost the votes of…um…well…this guy I know,

  10. JustPixelz

    "… currently shoving artisanal Little Debbie snack cakes into your snack cake hole"

    My web cam has betrayed me … again.

  11. Joshua Norton

    “I think this is such a disaster for Democrats,” said National Republican Senatorial Committee executive director Rob Jesmer.

    Hey, GOoPers.

    When your head's in the toilet, you really shouldn't blow bubbles.

  12. Biel_ze_Bubba

    No lie, this is what my wingnut friend claims: Since the Supreme Court is obvioulsy still very liberal, liberals no longer feel the need for liberal appointments, therefore there's no longer any need to re-elect Obama.

    I'm not sure if he made thus up all by himself, or if it's out there on some teabaggercentral.com blog.

  13. gullywompr

    Dumbass actualy thinks that getting rid of people's health care is something they would want. The GOP is in it's sunset years.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Is there such a thing as "full moon years"? That would seem more approriate to the howling insanity that's in evidence.

    2. mrblifil

      Now now, just think of it. Would you rather be able to afford to see doctors and buy prescription drugs, or would you rather live the straightforward right thinking way and get right with God so that pestilence may not befall you as if you were some kind of Messican. When it's put in that light it's not so weird, right.

  14. scvirginia

    Really? Am I the only one here with no artisanal Little Debbie's? (Not that I have anything against 7th Day Adventists, mind you.)

  15. FakaktaSouth

    I gotta admit, I would totally be as nice to Peggy Noonan as I could right now if she was in front of me and would share what makes her talk like that – and what's she got against health care anyway? Xanax doesn't grow out of the ground do it? I am tired of this shit. Way way too tired for it to be right before July with an election in November. I used to love policy making. Now I just want Peggy Noonan's drugs.

    1. proudgrampa

      Did you catch her last Sunday on the talk shows?

      She had this one ramble where she actually said something like, "I'm not sure where I'm going with this…"

      Hilarious.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Yes of course the validation of the ACA by the Supreme Court and its Republican-appointed CJ is a disaster for Democrats — that's exactly why Republicans are soooo happy about the ruling.

  17. Goonemeritus

    I as typical American voter will only vote for a political party that either fails to pass legislation or whose legislation is overturned on constitutional grounds. I guess once again I will be voting the straight Anarcho-syndicalist ticket.

  18. widestanceromance

    Once again, Governor O'MFGLOOKATTHISHOTMAN Malley has delivered a quote straight outta Wonk-town:

    “The only health care mandate they can embrace are transvaginal probes for women,” O’Malley said Friday during a press call.

  19. Chichikovovich

    What? Noonan and the ACA news mentioned, without a fond recollection of a moment in Noonerdom that even by her standards dripped with smug condescension? Voilà:

    Now this week the Supreme Court arguments on ObamaCare, which have made that law look so hollow, so careless, that it amounts to a characterological indictment of the administration. The constitutional law professor from the University of Chicago didn't notice the centerpiece of his agenda was not constitutional? How did that happen?

    You tell 'em Peggy! Time to get characterological, you wordsmith you.

    1. Biff

      I never understood the tired old saw that reagan was "the great communicator". In retrospect, with Peggington of Nooninghamshire as his writer, it all makes sense.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      Except that getting sick produces no empathy in them whatsoever. I try to be happy about these cretins getting ill,but it'll just make them nastier, methinks.

  20. Dr. Nick Riviera

    To be fair, some on the left were starting up the engines of denial before yesterday's ruling…suggesting a defeat would be good news for Obama because it takes an unpopular act off the table or even more amazingly that this means we'll get single payer.

    The difference is nobody would have given those people a microphone had it gone the other way

    1. Chichikovovich

      even more amazingly that this means we'll get single payer.

      I personally thought a decision overturning ACA would mean we would finally get flying cars.

  21. Chow Yun Flat

    The WSJ op-ed page which carries Peg also has the following videos/articles:

    A Decision that will Live in Infamy.

    Obama Wins, Economy Loses.

    Opinion: The Roberts Abomination.

    Et tu, Roberts?

    Plus a few more in rotation.

    Just the place I would want to look for informed comment on today's vital issues.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Obama Wins, Economy Loses.

      I just checked the stock market – Dow, NASDAQ, S&P 500, all up in the neighborhood of 2%. Dow Transportation Average (tends to be a good reflection of Wall Street opinion on the economy's prospects) up significantly over 2%.

      Apparently the people who make or lose money based on their judgements of how the economy will fare (as opposed to the people who rabbit on about it in newspapers, or the people who get elected by spinning it) seem to regard the ACA decision as quite positive news indeed.

      1. imissopus

        A few days ago I saw a HuffPo headline that said something like "GOP Says Obama Does Not Deserve Any Credit For Recent Drop in Gas Prices," which is funny because I remember just a few months ago when the prices were shooting up and they couldn't stop blaming him for that. It's exhausting, trying to keep up with the flip-flops.

        1. James Michael Curley

          Gasoline will be under $3 by labor day. Since hurricane Debby did not disturb production as much as expected, the winter shift should start a little earlier than October 1. Since winter domestic consumption for No. 2, Diesel and all the heavy ends of the barrel is trending upward for the last for the last years, additional gasoline storage capacity will be needed for non-gasoline products. This could mean $2.75 gasoline by November.

          Road Trip!

  22. OkieDokieDog

    If Pegs were a real journalist she would have the date/location of the Teabaggie rally to burn John Roberts in effigy.

  23. Dr. Nick Riviera

    I think other than various teeth gnashing, the most oft said thing on FB over the last 24 hrs by RW D-bags is "ITS FUNNY CUZ ITS TRUE!" right before some offensive political cartoon with racist/sexist/general dumbassery regarding "Obamacare" is posted.

  24. anniegetyerfun

    Ha, NPR did this yesterday, too. After the actual announcement, in which you could HEAR Linda Wertheimer having a liberalgasm (I love Linda, but she was, like, giddy over this), they paraded about 70 Republicans throughout the rest of the day, talking about how this was a MASSIVE FAILURE for Obama and SCOTUS just gave Romney so much ammunition for this campaign. Only at one point did Melissa Block say something like "Um, I'm pretty sure that all the numbers you just quoted are wrong" but then she let the guy bulldoze over her.

    jernalizms!

    Sorry to be an NPR slut; I have a long commute and it's tough to read the paper while I am driving.

    1. fuflans

      i too am an npr slut (though i do not believe ken layne would approve). and i too heard about 12 hours of this yesterday until – blessedly – jian ghomeshi talked about Other Things.

      only once did i hear obvious retort #1:

      ummm mittens has that little MA experiment to justify. there is no way that is anything but awkward (but! constitutional!)

      and i NEVER heard obvious retort #2:

      the chattering classes, voters and baggers have the attention span of fleas. the euro's in crisis, syria's burning and 'the dark knight rises' opens on july 20th. and we'll probably have some rent boy scandal by november (there's always hope!)

      it's only

    2. HoytClagwell

      If I had a shortwave radio in my car so I could listen to BBC News during my commute, I'd probably never listen to NPR again. As it is, they win by default.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        I enjoy the BBC, but I do notice that occasionally, their interviewers try to stir up arguments where there are none. It's good to hear them smack down the occasional African dictator or genocide apologist, but I'll occasionally hear one of the hosts shouting over some poor schmuck who is just there to talk about increased sewer capacity in East London or something, and think, “My god, man, just let him talk!” I'm kind of amazed that the British have a reputation for being overly polite, given how their media and legislature work.

        1. HoytClagwell

          The flip side of that coin is that from 2001-2008, the only time I heard anyone put a tough question to then-President Shrub in a one-on-one setting — and not accept a non-answer in response — was during a BBC interview.

          1. HoytClagwell

            If I remember correctly, the administration demanded an apology from the interviewer for being disrespectful. I'm pretty sure she gave him all the respect he deserved.

            You know what else is weird? I tried twice to write a comment in which I used the term "n0n s3quitur" (but spelled correctly) and it was autonuked. What does Wonkette have against Latin?

      2. Biff

        One of many good reasons for satellite radio. Worth every penny to me, especially since all I can get from terrestrial stations out here in Bat Country are either hate/talk or classic rock, sparsely interspersed with reruns of Coast-to-Coast AM…

  25. Biel_ze_Bubba

    “We can credibly say there is only one way to get rid of health care and that is legislatively.”

    Get rid of health care. I never expected them to come right out and say it.

  26. randcoolcatdaddy

    I can't really form an opinion on this until Rush Limbaugh says something about moving to Costa Rica.

  27. actor212

    A lot of the opposition to HCR was based on it being illegal, to-wit: unconstitutional. Since that's now changed, and in particular since Roberts joined the majority, this is a non-starter as a campaign issue. It's bad for Romney, but it's worse for downticket Republicans

    1. JerkCade

      Haven't been back there since I was injured in a harrowing firefight while rescuing 23 ophans. I was awarded the Iron Cross, Medal of Freedom and OBE for my efforts. (thanks, ChernobylSoup!)

  28. deanbooth

    I listened to the car radio today for the first time in ages. They said that Gore meddled with the election in Florida in 2000, and that Obama planned to do the same kind of thing nationally this year, causing chaos. Luckily I was still doped up on Valium and laughing gas from the dentist, or I would have had a stroke.

  29. oldedinvn

    But, but this is being fair & balanced. Notice how they always mention the good thingies what Hitler did, hiways. Or Muso did by making the trains run on time.
    Always be a good journalist & rite what you are told to write. Jobs aint not that easy to get.

  30. Chichikovovich

    That is almost the platonic form of WaPo horse race coverage hackery. The only stumble is at the end:

    Things aren’t always what they first appear to be in politics. And sometimes they are exactly as they seem to be. That uncertainty is what makes it interesting.

    There's the empty tautology to begin. There's the suggestion that what matters about politics is not that it should improve the lives of Americans but that it should be "interesting". So close to perfection! Sadly, they forgot to close with "As always, the only constant is change."

  31. Antispandex

    “I think this is such a disaster for Democrats,” said National Republican Senatorial Committee executive director Rob Jesmer."

    And why would he lie? Someone wins, someone loses…who can explain it?

  32. barto

    “We can credibly say there is only one way to get rid of health care…"

    So that's your game, is it?

  33. glamourdammerung

    It is very uncomfortable to see grown men crying like teenage girls and going into overly melodramatic nonsense about how the country is "literally destroyed". These people should be literally slapped, hard. At least then they would have a reality based reason to cry about.

  34. Ducksworthy

    Thanks to Faux Newz, Doublethink is now a perfectly acceptable substitute for journalism.

  35. ttommyunger

    EXACTLY! A few more defeats like this and Bammers will beat R'Money in an Electoral Landslide.

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