let us now praise famous men

Barack Obama Now Destroying Your Liberty By Throwing Fabulous Food Stamp Parties

cover girlFirst they gave us Pre-Existing-Condition Insurance Plans, and I said nothing, because I had a pre-existing condition and now I have insurance with no lifetime or annual limit for $244 a month. Now how is Barack Hussein Nobama trying to be worse than Hitler + 9/11 x the tsunami + Fukushima? By trying to increase participation in SNAP (the federal food stamp program) with parties.

A pamphlet currently posted at the USDA website encourages local SNAP offices to throw parties as one way to get potentially eligible seniors to enroll in the program.

“Throw a Great Party. Host social events where people mix and mingle,” the agency advises. “Make it fun by having activities, games, food, and entertainment, and provide information about SNAP. Putting SNAP information in a game format like BINGO, crossword puzzles, or even a ‘true/false’ quiz is fun and helps get your message across in a memorable way.”

Dude, those sound like superfun parties that everyone would want to go to! But is there something perhaps nefarious about this? OF COURSE there is! DON’T BE RIDICULOSE!

See, in the ’70s, only one in 50 Americans was on the government’s food-stamp tit (including Your Editrix, as a wee little Dorothea Lange poster girl). And now one in seven Americans is sucking that ol’ Department of Agriculture dry, with their insistence on “not letting their children starve to death in America.” Whatever happened to good old fashioned American can-do-ism, where we starved to death and liked it? And why is the Daily Caller pointing out both that the food stamp program increased under George W. Bush, and that economists say food-stamp participation is the number one multiplier of dollars spent in a local economy?

CNN Money further noted that the USDA began running paid radio ads in 2004, under President George W. Bush, who oversaw a 63 percent increase in average food stamp participation. […]

According to the USDA, greater food stamp usage can be an economic plus for states and communities.

“Every $5 in new SNAP benefits generates $9.20 in an additional community spending,” the USDA contends in their outreach guidance. “If the national participation rate rose five percentage points, 1.9 million more low-income people would have an additional $1.3 billion in benefits per year to use to purchase healthy food and $2.5 billion total in new economic activity would be generated nationwide.”

Tucker, please fire that commie trash “reporter” you’ve got working for you. Americans don’t need to hear about dollar multipliers and the success of government programs, thank you very much. What they need is to send their children to bed hungry, so they’ll understand the value of a good janitorial job, in third grade.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. Barb

    A food stamp party? I'm in! I haven't had steak and lobster since the first of last month and I am hungry for more. Anyone offering carpool rides in their Cadillacs?

      1. Barb

        You know you're broke when your bologna does not have a first name. Thanks to President Obama, my bologna is named LOBSTER!

        1. prommie

          I just made an appointment to get 6 caps! Thats when you know your grown-up, when you go get your first teeth-lift!

    1. Antispandex

      I thought Prince Reagan banished all of you Cadillac driving evil Welfare Queens back in the golden '80s. I guess a little more blood of patriots shall have to water the tree of liberty so as to vanquish the freeloader hoards from the land!

        1. BerkeleyBear

          Don't forget the dozen or so horses that you somehow write off the expense of raising. Paying much less than your share of taxes while living a ridiculous lifestyle makes you a permanent member of Team America – Fuck Yeah!

    2. DemmeFatale

      I thought this was going to be fun.
      I was wrong.
      The hatred flows like a swollen river.
      Food stamps?! Poor children?! Damn!

      (Hold me, Wonkette, hold me.)

    3. prommie

      I have grown tired of lobster, and steak. Veal chops are cloying. Conch ceviche still gets me going, but the only thing that truly thrills anymore is caviar. Anhedonia is a serious problem to a hedonist. Thank God there will always be blowjobs!

  2. ChernobylSoup

    They're like those key parties you hear about, except instead of taking home you best friend's wife, you take her processed cheese.

    1. PubOption

      I do know a woman who would broil some fish, melt cheese over it, and refer to the result as a 'yeast infection'.

    2. James Michael Curley

      If I remember correctly, Reagan's "Welfare Cheese" had a higher protein to fat than anything on the market.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        All I remember is being horribly disappointed – the log shape had made me hope it would be like my beloved Velveeta (yes, yes, I was that white trash – but I never got spray cheeze, I swear).

    1. extreme_left

      .. put their Dentures in glasses of Vodka instead of water… cut the brake lines on their scooters.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I gotta think actual colostomy bags (not the manufacturers, but the actual bags) are better job creators than most 1 percenters.

  3. actor212

    The right wing is getting so desperate to blame Obama for anything, they're going to start blaming him for the Colorado fires.

    1. MacRaith

      Well, there are all those commie socialist union thug firefighters living off of other people's money, so there.

      1. actor212

        Yea, I bet if he outsourced fire fighting to the private sector, they'd have this thing put out in no time, at least in the rich parts of the area.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          Yea, I bet if he outsourced fire fighting to the private sector, they'd have this thing put out in no time, at least in the rich parts of the area.

          Fixed. (That was easy.)

  4. freakishlywrong

    Will they pay for the food at the party with their SNAP bennies? Cuz Soshalizms.

  5. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I have a plan for us to pool all of our foodstamps and buy corn to make one giant batch of moonshine. Now that will be a party.

    1. prommie

      I am in. I also know a good recipe for raisin-mash jailhouse hooch; it must be fermented in a toilet tank to get just the right gout de terroir.

        1. prommie

          I have a mind to start a commune in the old traditional 1960s way, but with clean-ness and less patchouli. A well-dressed, tasteful commune. There will be soshalizms galore and guilt-free fucking, hopefully.

          1. prommie

            If we could replicate the Chimay model, we could even make money and be a wealthy commune! Artisanal pencil-sharpening and such.

  6. Goonemeritus

    Everyone knows you don’t feed stray cats because if you do they keep coming back. The fact that our Editrix is still here proves that this rule applies to the poors as well.

      1. tessiee

        Everyone knows you don't pay those pesky employees, or they'll start showing up to work every day.

  7. Antispandex

    " What they need is to send their children to bed hungry, so they’ll understand the value of a good janitorial job, in third grade. "

    I agree! What this country needs is to repeal child labor laws. Nothing builds American character in a 10 year old, like a good job, at low wages, in say, a coal mine. That is what America used to be all about, and what made us great, before we got all soft! Who needs school if you can't aford it? Get a job little hippie!

    1. johnnyzhivago

      True, but NoBama's closing all the coal mines and sending them to China with his global warming agenda!

      A better job for a child is in a textile mill where their little fingers can be used to snatch things out between gears and cutting wheels and such.

      1. commiegirl99

        My grandpa lost three fingers in an industrial sewing machine in New York City in 1914. In 1914, my grandfather was 12 years old.

        And he grew up to be a very wealthy, successful, self-made man. I think we can all agree: all children should lose digits at work.

        1. johnnyzhivago

          Agreed!  Between long hours of low paid, dangerous work and state sanctioned corporal punishment in schools and at home, the next generation of kids is in for a real treat!

        2. Boojum

          My Dad grew up in the West Virginia coal mines. He was the first person in his family to graduate high school, because he NEVER WORKED IN THE MINES!!

          He ended up with a Master's degree. Slacker elitist.

          1. tessiee

            A friend of mine is originally from West Virginia. He put himself through school, but caught all kinds of shit from his family of origin because he didn't want to go to work in the mines: "Yew think your better'n us!", etc. As to whether he's actually better, suffice it to say that his real first name that his parents gave him at birth was "Junior" (he has since changed it).

        3. proudgrampa

          My great grandfather lost his entire arm in some sort of textile machine. This was in the 1880s or 1890s.

          Since employment opportunities for one-armed men were rather limited, he ended up running a traveling medicine show and one of his stunts to get a crowd's attention was sword-swallowing. My mother tells stories about him chucking silverware down his throat at the dinner table.

        4. James Michael Curley

          Only two fingers. With someone who was as ambitious as he was if he learned to count in binary you would be able to buy and sell Bill Gates.

    2. PsycWench

      And by reducing their lifespan to the mid-40s as was the case 100 years ago, you will turn over the labor force more quickly, ergo everyone will have a job because the guy who used to have it died. Same thing with removing OSHA standards. Why can't the 99% see this?

      1. James Michael Curley

        I love telling this story and its true. I worked in a motorcycle shop in Pittsburgh in the early 70;s which means two things, there was no shortage of crazies and the shop heating was part of the vast Pittsburgh District Steam Heating System. Well OSHA cam by and said we had to paint with the proper colors the myriad of pipes which ran through the basement and the storage area which was even lower than the basement. The 'owner' was a lawyer who had given his way too privileged son the shop and said son was an authentic teabagger (they existed then).
        So junior gets a hotshot, young lawyer from Dad's firm to sue the bastards; actually appeal the penalties for failing to comply with the first OSHA inspection.
        Hotshot comes in and waxes elegantly about government intrusion and rests his hand on a steam pipe, jumps and knocks over a QuikClean tank. Hotshot had a ruined suit and secnond degree burns on his hand.

    3. tessiee

      Really, since the whole point of going to school is getting a job, why not cut out the middleman? And kids are sorta cute, standing on boxes to reach the machinery, and don't eat anywhere near as much as an adult; they're like happy little elves.

  8. MumbletyRadio

    encourages local SNAP offices to throw parties

    I did read that at first as "SNAP" parties. What came to mind was from that episode of "Wiener's Circle" where the middle-to-elderin'-aged yuppie couple had to explain to Poochey the secret behind their long marriage: "We have a lot of SNAPs. Sex and a NAP!"

  9. LesBontemps

    It's all a Democrat plot to make the olds dependent on the government for their survival. Which is why we have to eliminate food stamps, Social Security and Medicare, for freedom!

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Eliminating labor unions, food stamps, Social Security and Medicare will do wonders for public support of the GOP.

      That is their theory, right?

      1. JustPixelz

        That is their meat-and-potatoes.

        It's easier to have them deliver the pot separately.

        Aren't food stamps just stamps made of food? No wonder my dinners have tasted more like the basket itself on Chopped.

    1. OneDollarJuana

      True story: In the '70s I had a roommate who went to an EST meeting (sort of like a Scientology scam in California), and was bombarded thereafter with solicitations to help in their "Hunger Project". He finally mailed back a slice of dried beef in the enclosed envelope. Bingo! No more solicitations.

  10. OurHoboSenator

    Food related old people parties? Is this just a trick to get me to click on that "lemon party" link? NOT FALLING FOR IT AGAIN, DAILY CALLER.

  11. freakishlywrong

    Didn't the heartless fuckwits in the Senate just vote to lower SNAP funds to pass the "bipartisan" farm bill? For freedom?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Someone has to pay billions in subsidies to get those giant agribusinesses to not grow food, right? Because cheaper food is totally unAmerican, right? And if the government needs to cut benefits to afford this essential service, hungry people are obviously the ones who should take the hit, right? IOMSIYAR*

      *It Only Makes Sense If You Are Republican

  12. Barb

    It's like the people who get food stamps are riding the gravy train with biscuit wheels. I envy them so.

    1. extreme_left

      We try and keep it a secret just how luxurious this life is and large numbers of us vote Republican in a effort to use their slander to dissuade others from boarding our gravy train ensuring more stuff for our select clique.

  13. ttommyunger

    Fun fact: Banksters make BILLIONS every year from Transaction Fees on SNAP purchases. Lump this in with the BILLIONS made by grocers, etc. and you get any idea who really loves the Entitlement Society and why.

    1. James Michael Curley

      And its spreading. At the end of the year Veterans will have to accept debit cards or have direct deposits into checking accounts. Either way they are going to get soaked for way too much so they can get way too little.

      1. ttommyunger

        Fortunately, some banks still offer free chkg,svgs, accounts with DD, so we've got that going for us, which is nice. Some, like me, remember the Rx Copay was $2 when Dubya took office, now is $8. Some “friend” of the Vet.

        1. James Michael Curley

          Since I still work, the VA sends the pharma copay to my work health care insurance provider who doesn’t pay it (In violation of their policy provisions in my opinion.) Then the insurance company lists it as money I owe. Up until I finally succumbed to being classified as service connected disabled, VA would bill me for the copay every six months. Now they don’t bill me and I prevailed upon a request to recover the copay I had billed. Also, for ‘primary and wellcare visits’ instead of visits related to C&P, they send the bill to my insurance company, who pays it either minimal amounts of it. Like $36 out of a $640 bill for the last head MRI they did. I was told that my insurance carrier should make a claim for the back C&P exams they paid for and my insurance companies is more interested in having me explore the nuances of various South Asian accents one encounters when their ‘member service’ representatives try to speak English. So a while back I was told by the VA they would pay for about 4 years worth of bills they submitted and no-one bothered to collect. Right now I have decided to lay low as Paul Ryan wants to pass sweeping legislation which will over turn over twenty years worth of VA regulations which finally started to address Vietnam and Dessert Storm vets.

          1. James Michael Curley

            The VA certainly has its faults and I would need a lot less Mylanta if I weren’t spending too much time dealing with them for myself and a few others who have difficulty even just getting around. But their effectiveness has been continually monitored and enforced and the work and research they do leads the field when it comes to the type of medical problems they address. All during 2009’s health care debate I was amazed at how many people did not know that the ‘single payer’ system advocated by many was blue printed from the VA. The VA has done a great job despite the funding log jams introduced by the Bush administration. At least the authority to sequester VA funds has been removed, but placed in a provision of the Ryan budget which requires many VA programs to take big hits. I really wish a few more Republicans had done something other than avoid the draft and then they may have spent an 18 hours of continuous shelling at Khe Sahn.By the way, did I ever kick you out of one of my helicopters?

          2. ttommyunger

            I was invited to go to Nam but never ordered to. I was encouraged to volunteer but in inexplicable attacks of good judgement I never did. I know many who did and they have been dead for many years now. So sad.

          3. James Michael Curley

            Whee! I’m sure a few of them are still pissed off at me. But like going into a hot LZ, a fully loaded UH-1H is a lot slower and a lot bigger target than your average 18 year old grunt. No offense meant to grunts. Although we not too pleased when the ROK Colonel decided “Only 11 meant 15 and he was number 15 and he had a rather rapid change of allegiance.” Some urban legends are true, but I was in Bangkok that week.

  14. Biff

    My neighbor-well, former neighbor, she's now in a home-got less than $950/mo on SS, and another $12.00/mo in food stamps. Even at 89 years old, she knew when she was getting fucked…

    1. chascates

      So instead of a homecare worker looking after her for maybe $800 a month part time she's warehoused and the government is paying $2000 or so?

      1. Biff

        The government is paying roughly $3600, and they take her SS check to cover the difference. It's math, I don't understand math. Math is hard.

      1. Biff

        Actually, she told them to stuff it. It was my 2nd proudest moment for her, the 1st being when she stood with me to caucus for Obama in '08. That was a very difficult thing for a depression-era white southern woman to do.

  15. SorosBot

    But if the government continues to help people, then they'll start to think the government is supposed to help them! Which it is, but the wingnuts think this is somehow a problem.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Because the government helping people infringes on the people's right to die slow, horrible deaths.


    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Under the new GOP thinking, the job of government is to help corporations and banksters make a shitload more money. I have no idea who's been encouraging them to think this way. *** CoughCitizensUnitedCough***

  16. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This is genius! Once we round up all the olds in these SNAP parties we can grind them up and use them for food.

  17. SayItWithWookies

    Dubya increased food stamp participation by 63%, but that doesn't count as socialism — most of those people were either in the military or had jobs at Wal-Mart.

    1. freakishlywrong

      The kids he sent over to fight his wars are also current recipients. Support the troops, but whatever you do don't feed them.

  18. chascates

    IT'S A TRAP!!11! Once you get hooked on the junk foods that you buy you'll be sucked into Obamacare and spend the rest of your life in medical waiting rooms, listening to Tegan and Sara songs until you agree to get gay married.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Great, now that you let the cat out of the bag we are going to have to come up with a whole new gay agenda. Thanks a lot.

  19. James Michael Curley

    Whao, Rebecca, you used the un-retouched version. Good Girl!
    Dorothea Lange did not want the government to use the long 'tent' shot because she thought it was drive people father into despondency rather than inform them of the plight of CA migrant workers.

    I'll now take a break and play "The Ghost of Tom Joad".

      1. James Michael Curley

        Yep that's it. The photo Rebecca chose is probably from the Library of Congress collection as that's were the unretouched version first showed up after Dorethea Lange died. I also did not know Florence Owens Thompson until I googled it.. I remembered Florence Leonia (because we played Leonia in football in HS I guess) but that was it. Looks like in recent years a lot has been done to bring together some of the Dorethea Lange story from years ago.

        In my youth I was facinated with Ansel Adams, Robert Capa and Dorethea Lange. Without being intoduced to them in the mid sixties, I probably would be a Chris Christie republican now.

  20. FakaktaSouth

    What is it about Americans that we enjoy for people to suffer? I wonder why it has to be all bootstraps, all struggle, all hitting rock bottom all the time. Hey poor people, how dare you try to have a positive attitude about making your life better and doing nice things with others around you also having a shit time of it? You are to CRAWL on your hands and knees for that 800 bucks a month we will threaten to take away at every turn, I don't give a fuck about your need for a wheelchair.

    1. freakishlywrong

      That's just some Americans, Fakakta. I think we know who they are. They also pulled the wings off of flies when they were young.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I know there are wonderful, caring, fuckable people in this country, I do – BUT the over-riding attitude of the place, ever since the New Deal saved too many people, I guess, has been so derisive and hateful and one against the other (in Jesus' name). I just am amazed when I see the reactions of people from other countries when asked about little fundamental things, like, do you deserve to go to the doctor just because you're sick?

        1. prommie

          I don't get it at all. I mean, I see people who are just "mean" in the older sense of the word, its like they are cheap, but with niceness, not money, like it would cost them something to just fucking be nice. And they have this thing where its not enough that they got theirs, they need to know someone else didn't get it. Like, at my grocery store, we have these courtesy cards so you get the discount, and someone forgot there card and the cashier gave them a "courtesy swipe" (why does that sound tacky?). Yay, they got their $2 off. But then some mean nasty fuck in line behind me starts bitching, actually starts complaining out loud, how its not fair that person in front of me got the discount when she didn't have her card, because bitchy nasty mean complainer had remembered to bring her card and that means bitchy nasty shoulda been the only one to get a discount. Like as if it took something away from her. I got more on this, its my pet peeve, assholes are.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            MINE TOO. Also, I would have shamed that cunt so hard in the grocery store line, she would never even come there again much less want her card swiped. I got something for you honey and it ain't got nothing to do with courtesy.

            My faves around here are the ones who talk this shit, unless, you know, they can get hooked up with one of them sweet government jobs with all the magical benefits – THEN of course, it's all lucky them, ain't it great…

        2. prommie

          So like this thing, what is this, that people want others to suffer? It comes out all the time. Look at all this "bash the public employees" shit going on, the whole Walker-Koch brothers shit. They point to the public workers, who haev unions, job security, pensions, and vacations, and they say 'who do these fuckers think they are, with their $45,000 a year and a pension after 35 years?" And the fucking mean nasty resentful peasants of america, instead of looking at the public workers and saying, "hey, how come we don't all have it so good," instead, they look at them and say "yeah, fuck them, take that all away from them so they're as miserable as me." Getting it all so totally ass backwards.

        3. prommie

          And I will be fucked if thats not whats behind opposition to gay marriage. That fundamentally retarded logic behind the idea that letting gays get married takes something away from straight marriage, its the same mean stingy nasty resentful peasant mentality.

          I read somewhere that its a characteristic of peasants, that when one of their own succeeds, they don't cheer and try to emulate that success, instead they are resentful and try to tear that person back down to where "they belong." Thats why I call it a peasant thing, this "who do they think they are, those teachers making a living wage under decent conditions" mentality.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            Everyone has got to be better than someone? Fuck if I know, read about the "it's illegal to give teachers Christmas presents in Alabama law we got now." It's awesome. As for the gays – I don't know why ANYONE would fight to get married ever anymore. Fucking bullshit if you ask me, which no one does, because I am nice and don't give a fuck what anyone has or does as long as they LEAVE ME ALONE. But they can't do that either, they have to let me know, be all in my face, about how much better they are and how much I am jealous? I hate a lot of people too now I guess. HEY! The system works!

          2. prommie

            Just fucking meanness of heart. I cannot explain it, but I know it when I see it and I hate it. This is Water, like, you know? Maybe its just ignorance, maybe TV has done this to the national character, but it just seems noone has any fucking empathy for anyone anymore. And here I am made of 85% empathy and I Feel The Pain of Everyone, except when I feel nothing. Any J. Mascis fans?

      1. FakaktaSouth

        That it do my friend, that. it. do.
        Really really awful terrible atrocious ignorant character. And what's a Friday without a good beating?

    2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is super hard. I tried it once but I quickly realized that my boots don't have straps so I had to use the laces. Then I pulled a muscle and had to use my healthcare to get it fixed. I wouldn't suggest trying it unless you are in really good shape or do some of that yoga stuff or something.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I honestly wouldn't know what a bootstrap looked like if I was beat with one for not doing as i was told and suffering properly. I deserve everything I get I suppose.

        1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

          I blame the puritans for all of the suffering. And also for our childlike obsession with sex.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            I think I was just born like that.
            I know I know though, I know, I remember stuff you tell me.
            But seriously. If it's a HEALTHY obsession, what's the big deal? HUH?

          2. prommie

            Well I think she was talking about a different kind of obsession, the obsession that its dirty dirty dirty and shameful and bad. Thats totally different from the healthy obsession.

          3. FakaktaSouth

            Yes, hence the "I know, I know I know" part. I know, I do. I just wanted to say "I love fucking." It IS Friday after all and I haven't had my ass beat yet.

          4. BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Yes, the obsession with other people having sex and how if they are having fun they must be doing it wrong and we must outlaw it. Also, no boobs on TV unless you are rich enough to pay for HBO. Fucking puritans.

          5. prommie

            Mencken: "Puritanism is the lingering suspicion that someone, somwhere, might be having fun."

          6. FakaktaSouth

            Aw yeah, I love boobies on tv – enough to pay for even better channels than HBO. I AM an elitist. Dang. But not really, because I would be happy to let anyone come watch boobies on tv with me, not lord all the boobies over people and try to take their boobies away. I'm a giver.

        2. thatsitfortheother1

          boot-strap. Noun. From baggerez. A mythical piece of leather atttached to your boot that, if pulled hard enough and often enough, will fill your wallet to overflowing.

    3. tessiee

      "What is it about Americans that we enjoy for people to suffer?"

      Because the belief that you can fail, even if you've been doing the "right" things your whole life, is too frightening for a lot of people, even though — especially because — they see evidence of this all around them, every day. So they retreat to a childish belief in a meritocracy, because America is a) God and Jesus's favorite (Protestant version), b) the greatest country in the world and the land of opportunity (children/grandchildren of immigrants version) — so if you're poor or suffering, you must deserve it, since anybody can be rich with the most minimal effort. When the expression "life isn't fair" comes up in the conversation, it's always with regard to other people.

    4. tessiee

      "we will threaten to take away at every turn"

      The last "regular" job I had was doing data entry for an insurance company, which shall remain unnamed here, but if you were to guess that the name of it rhymed with "Screw Boss", I wouldn't say that you're wrong.

      Our team leader was a nice enough gal, but she drove us relentlessly because there weren't enough people to handle the workload and she had to. Every so often, the word would come down from upper management that if we didn't make this impossible deadline, we'd all be fired. Sometimes, if it was a really "important" impossible deadline, we'd all be fired, and the company would go out of business. After several repetitions of this, I started thinking, "Fuck this bullshit. We all get fired, I don't have to work here anymore, and I'll go work for a temp agency, where at least I *know* I'm temping."

      PS. They finally made good on their "threat". I was never so relieved to be out of a job in my life.

  21. OneDollarJuana

    "Parties" to get old people on food stamps? Sounds like a scam to me. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

  22. bureaucrap

    The Roman Republic/Empire started giving the poor grain before the time of Christ — and 450 years later, the Empire collapsed. See, libtards????!!!!!????

  23. widestanceromance

    Yeah, you go to these food stamp parties, and then realize your stamps only pay for one $300 MUFFIN! It's a cult, but we knew that.

  24. PsycWench

    The right-wing would prefer to give information about SNAP via the internet, in a deeply nested link within a website with a long and complicated URL that is never presented as a hyperlink.

  25. Doktor Zoom

    They should have a theme night, and invite a bunch of redheads for a Ginger SNAP party.

  26. Larry McAwful

    I know a white guy who said he used to live in "the hood" where all his neighbors smoked dope all day, didn't get jobs, and lived off their welfare checks. He didn't say whether or not it was a black hood or a white hood, so I don't know. Because talking about people in "the hood" is totally non-race-specific.

    Anyway, those lobsters you can get on WIC are totally small. Almost makes me want to go out and get a job. Cigarettes and beer are getting more expensive, after all.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Um. If it's a gummint program, shouldn't that be a .gov domain? My Spam Sense is tingling…

  27. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Why can I not comment on the Seattle meetup? Anyway, I have to take three buses to get from my house to the location and I am really afraid that I am going to get drunk and get lost on the way home and end up in Tacoma or some other horrible place. So if you guys don't hear from me next Monday that is probably what happened.

  28. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Hey, if you aren't afraid that your kids will starve to death, how can you possibly have that good old American can-do spirit? You have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps! (Remember to set them aside when you boil your boots for supper — there's no more being dependent on government boot strap handouts!)

  29. shortsandpants

    Dudezzz— stamps is not food. Food come from animal and ground, not stamps. DUHdd.

  30. elburritodeluxe

    If you stop being so snarky and listen to the radio ads everyone is so upset about, you will see that he is trying to get elderly black ladies enrolled. Not regular white American people. Just. Like. Hitler.

  31. tessiee


    Did everybody else hear this in Ricky Ricardo's voice and accent?

  32. SolitaireRose

    There's nothing I would rather do when working a job that pays poverty wages than take an afternoon and attend a party the the local country social service center. OK, maybe I'd rather figure out how to make lentils taste like something other than glue, but the party is a close second.

  33. TribecaMike

    Poor people must not have fun. Poor people must not make quick movements. Poor people must always wear their assigned blacked-out googles. This is all for now.

  34. Antispandex

    You can dance,
    you can jive,
    having the time of your life
    See that girl,
    watch that scene,
    diggin' the Welfare Queen!

  35. extreme_left

    One can see in the rise in the number of people getting free Lobster and Steaks since the 70's that Utopia is not that far away at all, pretty soon most everybody will be living the dream…hooray!

    Food stamps need to be made redeemable at MacDonalds and the circle of life will be complete.

  36. Jadetiger79

    You guys know I'm on food stamps. It's really hard. Anyway, I write a litte thing over on the facebooks about the experience of living on $276 per month for three people and how I do it 99% organic with mostly local sources. Food Stamp Libertine in Facebook. Look me up!

  37. OneDollarJuana

    Maybe Obama is to blame. Colorado Springs has been hit hard by the fires. And we all know how Colorado Springs swings.

  38. BerkeleyBear

    A follow up analysis suggests she used a Denver Post story as an (uncredited, of course) source. Only the DP pointed out the pesky facts that the planes aren't something the Forest Service thinks are necessary, they don't help with massive fires (and don't work as well on small fires as helicopters and smaller planes) and are basically the firefighting equivalent of war porn – looks great, but not efficient or effective. You know, exactly the sort of waste the GOP claims to be against but protects for the sake of the home state pork in every single appropriations bill.

  39. actor212

    She actually thanked the fire department and police department on Twitter.

    You know, the socialist union kind of public employee…liberal bitch!

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