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WHAT THE HELL IS THESE REDS ANYWAY?  9:12 am July 2, 2012

Look, Just Go Read This GQ Piece About Income Inequality Right Now, We Will Wait

by Doktor Zoom

Hell, we're all redsRemember that movie they made you watch in 6th grade, the Eames Brothers’ “Powers of Ten”? It starts out one meter above a picnic in Chicago, then zooms out ten times, and out another ten times, and in three minutes or so, you’re at the edge of the galaxy?

Jon Ronson has written a story that pretty much does that with income inequality in America. He starts by interviewing a Haitian immigrant in Miami getting by on minimum wage, then interviews a nice Midwestern couple who make five times as much, and so on, going up the wage ladder by powers of five until he talks to a dickhole billionaire who suffers Wagnerian levels of butthurt because all the lazy people below him have decided that, as a mega-rich guy, he’s suddenly “an enemy of the state” for some reason he cannot fathom.

Ronson, author of the highly improbable but purportedly nonfictional The Men Who Stare At Goats, presents a lucid, thoughtful tour of the American income spectrum, six pointilist portraits of how some of us relate to money. At the near-bottom is Maurose Frantz, who works in the kitchen of a ritzy restaurant but has never even seen a customer. He dreams of making enough money to get the hell out of Florida. The nice folks in Ohio are worried about being able to pay for their insurance, but think Ronson, a Brit, just has to be lying when he says that not only is the National Health Service not collapsing, most British people are proud of how well it works.

And so on, up the scale; second from the top is a refreshingly class-traitor-y peach of a rich guy, Nick Hanauer, who got ridiculously rich by investing in this thing thought up by his pal Jeff Bezos called “Amazon.com.” Hanauer, who frequently bursts out laughing like some kind of demented eccentric out of Dickens, believes that “the system he benefits so richly from is built on nonsense”:

And the biggest nonsense of all, he says, “is the idea that because the rich are the smartest, and because we’re the job creators, the richer we get, the better it is for everyone. So taxes on the rich should be very, very low because we’re essentially the center of the economic universe, the font of productivity.” Nick pauses. “If there were a shred of truth to the claim that the rich are our nation’s job creators, then given how rich the rich have gotten, America should be drowning in jobs!”

Rich lucky guys like him don’t create jobs, he says: The middle class does. Told that the nice Ohio couple can’t afford to drive across the state for their anniversary, Hannauer exclaims, “It’s not fair, and it’s terrible for business. The best ideas in the world aren’t worth jack shit unless you have someone to sell to.”

Ronson ends with a portrait of loathsome fucktoad B. Wayne Hughes, who barely scrapes by on $625,000 a week and believes that anyone not as rich as he is just irresponsible and lazy. He believes that his success is all due to the secret of wealth (do good deeds anonymously) found in a 1939 potboiler, Dr. Hudson’s Secret Journal. Oh, crap, now we ALL know! But it’s entirely up to the individual to do good deeds — taxation will destroy the magic and create parasites like all those “derelicts on welfare” that he’s certain are filling America’s hospitals because they’re “bored” and “want feeding.”

While Ronson’s conclusions are perhaps less than earth-shattering (he notes that the billionaire “is the only one who seems angry about the politics of his situation”), they are illustrated with some telling details, and with narratives that might, just maybe, become part of the story that we’re telling about wealth disparities in this country.* At the very least, in six short pages, he illustrates the astronomical distance between the grotty little planet where most of us live, and the economic Oort cloud inhabited by those with the most wealth. (And really, they could stand to tighten their Kuiper Belt a little…)

Also, here is a graph showing American distribution of wealth through the use of cats and a pizza.

* For a nice think-piece about why people so often buy into systems that perpetuate inequality — the “what’s the matter with Kansas” question — check out this series by Crommunist, which may be, depending on your taste, deliciously brilliant or a big pile of tl;dr. We link, you decide.

[GQ]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 143 comments }

chascates July 2, 2012 at 9:16 am

Today we are all the Joads.

Nassassin July 2, 2012 at 9:21 am

The Eames weren't brothers; marrieds

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 9:23 am

"Maurose Frantz"? OK, sure.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

That's pronounced "Morose France".

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 9:40 am

Mais tout les Francais sont heureux!

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:44 am

Peut tu le reprocher? Ils sont français!!

Sassomatic July 2, 2012 at 9:23 am

Rich people create jobs like hurricanes create levees.

noodlesalad July 2, 2012 at 9:23 am

"Wagnerian levels of butthurt" +1

But remember, it ain't class warfare unless it's being waged on the rich, according to GOP Baby Jeebus.

BaldarTFlagass July 2, 2012 at 9:23 am

I earn extra cash and qualify for neato prizes by selling Burpee seeds and Grit Magazine door-to-door.

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 9:28 am

Enough to buy X-Ray Specs, Black Soap and a Charles Atlas Booklet!

thatsitfortheother1 July 2, 2012 at 9:32 am

You forgot onion gum.

Guppy July 2, 2012 at 9:40 am

Personally, I'm saving up for the "Build Your Own Hovercraft" kit.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:44 am

Really? You can get that?

Because mine is full of eels…

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 10:20 am

No child in America should go Hungary

chascates July 2, 2012 at 9:44 am

SEAHORSES!

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 9:47 am

40 years later, I am still pissed off about that packet of water-gnats!!

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:53 am

Brine shrimp are fun, if you have a fish.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:38 am

Say, just how do poor white trash kids make money nowadays? I can't imagine mom cuts them in for a share of the meth profits.

chascates July 2, 2012 at 9:45 am

Drug delivery, lookouts, numbers runners, prostitutes. An enterprising kid can always raise some scratch.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:53 am

James O'Keefe is a role model?

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 10:21 am

Or maybe Wee-Bey

UW8316154 July 2, 2012 at 10:43 am

Nude spreads in Playgirl.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 12:50 pm

"how do poor white trash kids make money nowadays? I can't imagine mom cuts them in for a share of the meth profits"

No, she doesn't, so they're forced to impregnate the governor's slutty daughter.

Terry July 2, 2012 at 9:49 am

I had a subscription to Grit when I was a little kid. I loved that magazine. Bought my Burpees at the hardware store, though.

chascates July 2, 2012 at 10:19 am

Grit is now a Mother Earth News clone and available at magazine stands in the gardening/hobby farming section. So far as seeds go get this free catalog: http://rareseeds.com/requestcatalog/
It must have cost a fortune to produce so it'll keep printers in jobs and cost the site's owners money (they're vegans).

ChernobylSoup July 2, 2012 at 9:23 am

I'll wait for the Maxim version.

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 9:30 am

"Crowd In The Balcony — The Top-Heaviest Lady Oligarchs From The Bottom Up"

e_z July 2, 2012 at 9:24 am

I spent five years in the UK returning to the States last August. The NHS was excellent with an emphasis on prevention that was refreshing. When my elderly MIL visited us and became ill she was treated at the Chelsea and Westminster A&E with no charge and great results.

I would gladly switch the system we currently have for that we enjoyed in the UK.

p.s.When I visted my GP I never had to wait more than 5 minutes. Amazing, simply amazing.

thatsitfortheother1 July 2, 2012 at 9:34 am

I lived in England off and on for six years. Even the people who weren't extatic about NHS could not imagine replacing it with what we have in the USA.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:41 am

I had a….disagreement….with a conservative Canadian this weekend over the fact his friend had to live two years with pericarditis before he had minor surgery to drain the fluid, which I won by pointing out if he lived in the US, he wouldn't have made it to two years.

thatsitfortheother1 July 2, 2012 at 9:54 am

I had an argument today with somebody moaning about grown adults (26) staying on their parents' health care policies. I ended up in agreement — hey, they're starving anyway, why waste money on health care.

AnAmericanInTO July 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I've lived in Canada for over six years now and I cannot stress how much I love the Canadian health care system. I will tell anyone who asks, and most that don't, just that. It's not flawless certainly, but what is?

I hope beyond hope that Vermont will successfully pull off a single payer system to show the rest of the US that it can work – even if it IS for socialist Vermont.

emmelemm July 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Even if they make it work, someone (ok, me) is sure to say , wrt Vermont, and for example, the Scandinavian countries: "Well, there aren't very many black (or brown) people there, now are there?"

Socialism works better (if not necessarily well) when "my" money is at least going to other whiteys.

(There's started being a lot of discontent in Scandinavia in the last 15 years or so, when they started accepting a lot of refugees with GASP dark skin.)

johnnyzhivago July 2, 2012 at 9:24 am

After seeing that chart, I'm going to figure out how the hell my cats are embezzling me.

Guppy July 2, 2012 at 9:41 am

By being cats. It's in their nature.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:42 am

Cats like shiny nickels. Check your change.

chascates July 2, 2012 at 10:20 am

Just look under the couch. Everything that is missing will be there. It's the cats storage shed.

chascates July 2, 2012 at 9:47 am

Set up a really strong password on your computer. Amazon sells shitloads of cat toys.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 10:15 am

Sharight. Like cats don't have keychecks, and such…

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 10:24 am

And you can't return 'em, either, because they've got spit all over 'em

viennawoods13 July 2, 2012 at 10:32 am

Oh sure, they're FUN.

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 10:23 am

But where will you find a set of cat handcuffs?

johnnyzhivago July 2, 2012 at 9:26 am

The National Health Service IS COLLAPSING! I heard this on Fox News!

Guppy July 2, 2012 at 9:42 am

Fox News also says Parliament is giving Rupert Murdoch a medal!

Goonemeritus July 2, 2012 at 9:28 am

Obviously no solution can include revenue but other than that I’m sure The Republicans Party will be totally willing to compromise.

chascates July 2, 2012 at 9:35 am

Before wealth can trickle down it must first trickle up.

HistoriCat July 2, 2012 at 10:15 am

Given that republicans think compromise means ” Democratic capitulation” they are always willing to compromise.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 12:53 pm

This would be a lot less problematic if so many Democrats didn't also think that.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:30 am

I really sympathize with the butthurt billionaire. Pitchforks are sharp.

JustPixelz July 2, 2012 at 11:12 am

I don't want to know how you know that. I hope all involved were consenting adults.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Nothin' wrong with an occasional ass forking.

hollywooddood July 2, 2012 at 9:30 am

We could all win the lottery someday. So shut up.

Vecchiojohn July 2, 2012 at 10:14 am

And just wait until I get my plumber's license.

UnholyMoses July 2, 2012 at 10:21 am

Lottery = A tax on people who are bad at math.

Besides, we all know the best lottery to win is the ovarian variety.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Meh, the odds on getting rich from the ovarian lottery are worse than the odds of getting rich from the real lottery. Besides, the ovarian lottery has those built-in hazards, what do you call those things? Oh, yeah, kids.

chascates July 2, 2012 at 9:30 am

Corporate Profits at All-Time High; Wages at All-Time Low: Can We Call it Class War Yet? http://www.alternet.org/story/156042/Corporate_Pr

BarackMyWorld July 2, 2012 at 9:56 am

I feel something trickling down, all right.

chascates July 2, 2012 at 10:21 am

At least it's the same color as gold.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Zombie Barry Goldwater does not approve this comment.

upthruster July 2, 2012 at 9:31 am

"He believes that his success is all due to the secret of wealth (do good deeds anonymously)"

Well, so doesn't that mean help others and shut up about it?!

Seems to me someone else not too rich a really, really long time ago had something similar in mind…

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

to his (sorta) credit, Hughes was actually very reluctant to give Ronson any specifics about his giving. To his detriment, he seemed to genuinely believe that doing so really would destroy his mana and make the magic of anonymous giving go away.

SoBeach July 2, 2012 at 9:32 am

Maurose Frantz… dreams of making enough money to get the hell out of Florida.

Amen, brother.

neiltheblaze July 2, 2012 at 9:32 am

My cat hated anything with tomato sauce. She'd sniff at it and turn her nose up in disgust as if to say "What? No fish guts?"

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:06 pm

So, are you secretly Robin HItchcock?

"Who's been feeding tomatoes to the cat?"

An_Outhouse July 2, 2012 at 9:35 am

"B. Wayne Hughes,"

How shitty is your first name if you prefer to go by your second name, and that's 'Wayne'.

thatsitfortheother1 July 2, 2012 at 9:39 am

Bugger might qualify. Or is the name Buggar?

not that Radio July 2, 2012 at 9:47 am

"Bruce"

Great. Now the secret is out.

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 10:25 am

That guy is bats, man.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:57 am

Blaine?

thatsitfortheother1 July 2, 2012 at 10:00 am

Baine.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 10:02 am

I claim credit for the assist.

thatsitfortheother1 July 2, 2012 at 10:08 am

If only you could type worse.

UW8316154 July 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

Bradley

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Kid Zoom suggests maybe "Butthurt"

emmelemm July 2, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Kid Zoom is witty and wise.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

He believes that his success is all due to the secret of wealth (do good deeds anonymously) found in a 1939 potboiler, Dr. Hudson’s Secret Journal.

Oh good grief. The Secret had a prequel?

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert wrote the same nonsense about fifteen years ago in a book, saying something like if he mediated every day for a thousand days on a particular goal, he'd achieve that goal.

Yea, and dumb luck has nothing to do with it. What if you had hit the jackpot after a hundred times? Would that be your prescription?

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:54 am

Even tho Limbaugh tore him a new one?

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 10:28 am

Withdrawing that, he seems to be more a libertarian/centrist eccentric.

Tyrannically_Joe July 2, 2012 at 10:02 am

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert wrote the same nonsense about fifteen years ago in a book, saying something like if he mediated every day for a thousand days on a particular goal, he'd achieve that goal

And then he blogged about how that proved that evolution was false, if I recall. Scott Adams is somewhat of a complete loony toon.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 10:14 am

It turns out he's a hypnotist, and that's what he claims he was referring to (altho in the book he mentions nothing about deep hypntoic suggestion).

The evolution thing was a straight-faced snark.

WhatTheHolyHeck July 2, 2012 at 10:48 am

I heartily endorse being born into a family of billionaires. Those lazy poors clearly aren't trying hard enough to be conceived in the right wombs.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I like his, "Never walk down the hall without paperwork in your hands" a little bit, and his, "Women! Am I right, men?" considerably less.

Baconzgood July 2, 2012 at 9:37 am

THOZE KITTIEZ GIVEZ I TEH SADZ.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I want to adopt that pitiful skinny one, so he could eat a decent meal. Also the plump one, so he could get some nice fresh air and healthy exercise in my yard full of trees. This is why I had to stop volunteering at the shelter.

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

The skinny cat is 'shopped. You can tell from the pixels.

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 9:37 am

A litter box would be suitable to illustrate all those jerbs the Fat Cats are crapping out.

ManchuCandidate July 2, 2012 at 9:37 am

Same kind of cognitive disconnection that keeps incompetents incompetent. Now I understand why rich wingnuts loves the supply side economics because that's their fucking world view. As if demand doesn't matter one fucking bit.

AbandonHope July 2, 2012 at 9:38 am

Hey, before I read this article, I was just feeling vaguely on edge about some sort of nebulous danger I couldn't define. Now I'm flat out pissed off and depressed. I fall somewhere between the Midwestern couple and the author of the article, but I feel more like the couple because most of my money goes toward paying for a tiny house worth about 30% less than the mortgage on it, and student loans. And it just feels like it will never, ever end. I've been told that, after ten years in my line of work (software engineer), I'm close to the upper edge of my pay scale. So, what, I'm basically stuck where I am unless I'm in one of those high-paying jobs (*coughcoughfinance*)? Talk about suffocating!

How the hell do we get ahead? I mean, I'd be thrilled to be at the author's level… I've already given up on the idea of hitting the "never need to worry about bills" businesswoman's level.

One_Man_Band July 2, 2012 at 11:14 am

Well, as somebody on the lowest end of the pay scale of a lower-paying profession, I can only fantasize that I would ever get approved for a mortgage.

AbandonHope July 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

Touche. I know all suffering is relative, and that's why I hate bitching about anything whatsoever. Look at it this way: after all the crap I've been through, I doubt I'll ever get approved for a mortgage again. And the way things are now, I'm not sure I'd even advocate for buying a house unless you put, like, 33% down anyway. I got my house early, figuring I was doing the smart thing by buying right out of college and not "throwing away money" renting… well, given the principal drop I've seen, I've probably lost more in equity than I ever would have by renting for a few years. Plus, now I'm stuck with an albatross around my neck, making it impossible for me to take a job anywhere else without walking away or short-selling, further destroying my credit.

So seriously, my advice is to just stay the hell away from mortgages of any kind, unless they're really small.

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

For starters, we arrange for Nick Hannauer to be appointed to Obama's economic advisory staff…

AbandonHope July 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

Nick Hanauer sounds like an awesome guy. It's so refreshing to see a rich person know he's only rich due mostly to luck. It really seems like the three most common ways to get rich in this nation are to luck into it, inherit it, or sociopathically exploit the system (see: financiers).

BoroPrimorac July 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Here's a clip of him and that idiot Neal Cavutto discussing income inequality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=madU172f6zI

An_Outhouse July 2, 2012 at 11:54 am

Tomatoes are in season and I love tomato sammiches so eat a tomato sammich and think happy thoughts.

AbandonHope July 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I am actually not a fan of tomatoes outside of sauces, nor is my wife, but my daughter loves them. Let's see the scientists explain that, huh? Where is the missing tomato link?

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"it just feels like it will never, ever end. I'm basically stuck where I am"

You remember that movie "Joe"? A blue collar worker (played by Peter Boyle) becomes unlikely friends with a rich prick? At one point, Joe says he makes $4 an hour and Compton (the rich guy) says he makes $60,000 a year.

The movie was released in 1970. I saw it a few years ago. My first thought was that Joe will never figure out, hasn't yet figured out, that Compton is much more his enemy than the underdogs he hates.

My second thought was, how the hell was Compton making 60K in 1970 (about $30 an hour, by my math, in a year when an ounce of gold was $35)? Where are these jobs that ordinary, "middle-class" people make 60K, 70K, 80K — even now — and don't think it's a fortune? Forgive me for oversharing, but the last full-time job I had was in 2007, and I made 22K. I studied, I got good grades, I showed up and did my work every day at every job I ever had. It's like there was some secret, magic password that I somehow didn't get, and I missed my chance to ever make decent money (and that's before I begin to contemplate the likelihood of my even getting another crappy, badly paid job).

swordfis July 2, 2012 at 9:43 am

Given that survey after survey has shown that the lower one's income the more charitable one tends to be, it's more likely that doing good deeds is the secret of poverty rather than wealth. I'm beginning to suspect that great wealth brings with it brain-eating prions.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:50 am

Considering this is all pretty much based on Maimonides, this jackass falls a little short. He comes in at level 2, when Maimonides says the greatest "riches" (spiritual division) is to help your fellow man up by getting him on his feet directly.

swordfis July 2, 2012 at 9:59 am

Where is this in Maimonides? I've only read Guide to the Perplexed: is it in there somewhere?

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 10:01 am

According to the link, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Charity, 10:7–14

swordfis July 2, 2012 at 10:06 am

Thanks!

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:52 pm

"Guide to the Perplexed" is an awesome title. That is all.

MumbletyRadio July 2, 2012 at 9:55 am

“If you're in trouble, or hurt or need – go to the poor people. They're the only ones that'll help – the only ones.”
John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath (Play)

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Among other ironies, the rich fucktoad says he identifies with the Joads, because his father was an Oklahoma farmer who made the trip to CA after the dust bowl.

friendlyskies July 2, 2012 at 9:57 am

The key is making sure your good deeds help those who will lower your taxes if your help gets them elected to office. And then making sure no one talks about it after the fact.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 1:50 pm

"I'm beginning to suspect that great wealth brings with it brain-eating prions."

Good.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:46 am
Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 11:22 am
Terry July 2, 2012 at 9:48 am

"The nice folks in Ohio"

They were from Des Moines, not Ohio.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 9:52 am

They're that poor. They can't even afford to live in the state they're from.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Ohio, Iowa, Idaho — they're all the same state, just different pronunciations, like "soda" vs. "pop", right?

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I am red-faced with shame for not double-checking, especially as I live in the third state on that list, and am a fan of the t-shirt that says "Idaho State University, Ohio City, Iowa"

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

The snark in my comment was directed more at myself than anyone else. As a Jersey Girl who thought that the Midwest started at Philadelphia, the Ohio/Iowa/Idaho thing reflected my actual beliefs until I was in my 20s.

BarackMyWorld July 2, 2012 at 9:54 am

Speaking of cats…can i haz pitchfork 2 join angry mob plz?

Pragmatist2 July 2, 2012 at 9:59 am

If I wasn't rich, I would fully support class warfare. As it is, I would prefer a diplomatic solution.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 10:07 am

The way you get richer, see, is to encourage the fight then sell weapons.

Has history taught you nothing?

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 10:06 am

Not to disparage or ignore the whole point of this article, but, Jon Ronson? B Wayne Hughes? Sounds like a Fletch alias and a redneck rapper and I can't think much past that now – but yes yes poor people, that is terrible.

SoBeach July 2, 2012 at 10:14 am

I've been getting a kick out of that Nick Hanauer guy for a while:
http://wonkette.com/472868/ted-people-nix-income-

His take on income inequality is simple, straightforward, and extremely difficult to argue against. He's not shrill, and he's not approaching the issue like some kind of commie. Income in more hands = more economic activity. Income concentrated in fewer hands = sick, shrinking economy. Duh.

But that doesn't work for the media scream-fests, so it's ignored. If you're not a Koch brother on one side, or an OWS protestor on the other, you don't really exist. Normal people discussing actual issues rationally makes for shitty television.

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 11:20 am

Oh, he's THAT guy! Wish I'd recognized the name! Yep, cool guy.

Also, it occurred to me, well after I sent the post in, that while Hannauer isn't exactly "angry about the politics of his situation" in terms of how it affects him personally, he has the grace to be angry about how tax policy affects all of us–he thinks that people in his income bracket should be paying at least a 50% rate, a realignment that he and his peers will still profit from by selling more stuff to an expanded middle class.

AbandonHope July 2, 2012 at 11:39 am

Pssh, demand-based economics? Are you high?

SoBeach July 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

More super rich people get it than most would think. But there's no story there that will get people riled up. Rich people (like Buffett) who understand and speak up are pretty much ignored because we're all supposed to line up on one extreme or the other. It's more entertaining that way, and nothing ever changes.

FlownOver July 2, 2012 at 10:14 am

Are we all feeling nice and stabby yet? Good.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Best Emperor Palpatine/Fat Tony mashup ever.

Estproph July 2, 2012 at 10:15 am

Best part of this writeup – Powers Of Ten. Now that was a cool little movie!

not that Radio July 2, 2012 at 10:16 am

Dok — I can't believe you missed an opportunity to show this. Exponentiation of income under communism. When has DokZoom ever not linked a relevant xkcd comic?

MumbletyRadio July 2, 2012 at 10:45 am

Q. When has DokZoom ever not linked a relevant xkcd comic?
A. When he's too busy linking physics-related nuggets of humor instead?

But truly, xkcd is a treasure trove of enjoyment.

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 10:47 am

Har! Somehow I never saw that'n!!!!

arihaya July 2, 2012 at 10:20 am

meanwhile our "average guy" Mittens spends the summer vacation with his 30-members family in their multi-millions lakefront private compound, in New Hamster.

Just what America need, another TWO DOZENS spoiled, silver spooned MiniMittens.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/mitt-romne

weejee July 2, 2012 at 10:29 am

Dr. Z were you able to get Vlad the Impaler fixed, did you have to take the Hound back home, or are you using WiFi from somewhere on the road? We missed you at the Seattle meet !!!

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 10:46 am

Sorry I couldn't make it! I had an adventure!

Vlad the Impala is currently parked at Grumpy's Auto Repair in beautiful Baker City OR, awaiting a diagnostic teardown of its differential. My ex graciously drove from Boise to rescue me after I spent a night at one of that town' fine motels. While there, I watched a great deal of cable TV, including the inexplicable Robert Altman Popeye movie and an HBO documentary about the downfall of Rev. Ted Haggard.

The repair of the differential will be pricey. So, like Rev. Haggard, I spent the weekend burning out my rear end, and will paying the price for a long time.

Preferred Customer July 2, 2012 at 10:51 am

That Ray was Charles' brother is the real news here.

emmelemm July 2, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I have to say, that was my first thought too. :)

UW8316154 July 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

Ironically, B Wayne Hughes is the founder of Public Storage, so he makes his dough off the middle class who buy too much crap to fit in their house, and end up paying $250 a month to store old paint, "skinny clothes" and their Beanie Baby collection (aka "retirement fund").

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 11:09 am

George Carlin would love the irony of this.

Ever notice that your shit is "stuff," and other people's stuff is "shit"?

not that Radio July 2, 2012 at 11:10 am

Ham radio equipment libel!

Also, people pay to store cribs and carseats because they "might have another baby someday"

Preferred Customer July 2, 2012 at 1:51 pm

At which point they will inevitably discover that their cribs no longer meet current safety standards and that the car seats passed their expiration date.

Ask me how I know.

Frigging baby industrial complex.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I cancelled my Public Storage a few years ago, went through all the boxes full of stuff, donated most of it to goodwill, and deducted the donation from my taxes.

Ha ha all OVER you, B. Wayne Hughes!

JustPixelz July 2, 2012 at 11:18 am

Then there's the Gini index — a measure of income inequality across an economy. U.S. is around 46 (0 = perfect equality; 100 = Koch Bros. finally have all the money). Thirty years ago we were around 37. Then Reagan took office. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

The only thing that surprises me about that is that we're *only* at 46, instead of going from 37 to 80 or something.

tessiee July 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"a dickhole billionaire who suffers Wagnerian levels of butthurt because all the lazy people below him have decided that, as a mega-rich guy, he’s suddenly “an enemy of the state” for some reason he cannot fathom."

"and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail." — Mr. Burns

ttommyunger July 2, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Needz moare buttsecks.

thatsitfortheother1 July 2, 2012 at 9:59 am

The way fish are fun if you have a cat.

Hey wait a minute!

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 10:03 am

Circle of life, man.

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