Allen West Is Surrounded By Racists And They Are All Black Congressmen

by Rich Abdill

RACIST, THREE O'CLOCKCongressman Allen West hates it when black people play the race card. Hates it so much, that when they play it, he plays it right back, just to show ‘em.

He’s the one who first put forward that Obamacare’s 10-percent “tanning tax” was racist, for example, because, well, he’s not doing any tanning, eh? More recently, he very courageously responded to fictional racism from Bill Maher by having a fundraising drive, and now… well, now the fight is even more dire.

There are more racists, you see, racistly using the race card for their racist ends. And they’re very cleverly disguised — so well disguised, in fact, that to the ordinary voter might mistake his accusation for being incredibly stupid. But no, Voter, you’d be wrong. Those racists are the Congressional Black Caucus.

The ridiculous, pointless contempt vote against Attorney General Eric Holder was totally cool and not at all a silly GOP spectacle — but the Congressional Black Caucus walking out of the vote rather than simply voting against it, well, that’s prejudiced, man. From West’s Facebook:

Today the Congressional Black Caucus and other liberal Members of Congress judged the Attorney General by the color of his skin, and not by the content of his character. I am disappointed my colleagues would rather engage in a political stunt to distract the American people from knowing the truth behind the Attorney General’s disregard of the law and disrespect of congressional oversight to provide requested documents.

Oh, good. Liberals disagree with you about holding Holder in contempt? Say it’s just because Holder is black, and paraphrase Martin Luther King when you do it — that’ll help send it home. West also called the walk-out “a political stunt to distract the American people” without even a smidgen of irony; it’s not clear whether any of his hysterical supporters had the nerve to send him an article from biased Marxist progressive liberal rag Fortune, which Thursday revealed that, uh, the whole “Fast and Furious” scandal is all made up:

Issa and others charge that the ATF intentionally allowed guns to walk as an operational tactic. But five law-enforcement agents directly involved in Fast and Furious tell Fortune that the ATF had no such tactic. They insist they never purposefully allowed guns to be illegally trafficked. Just the opposite: They say they seized weapons whenever they could but were hamstrung by prosecutors and weak laws, which stymied them at every turn.

Egad! What racism. If Holder were white, there is no stinking WAY Fortune would be trying to figure out what Darrel Issa has been utterly incapable of doing. The story makes ridiculous Jim Crow assertions like “the public case alleging that Voth and his colleagues walked guns is replete with distortions, errors, partial truths, and even some outright lies” and quotes racist government officials saying things like “Republican senators are whipping up the country into a psychotic frenzy with these reports that are patently false.”

Don’t you SEE it? Black people stood up against something they thought to be insulting, partisan political theater. What gall — Dr. King would be rolling in his grave. [Fortune via Mother Jones]

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actor212 June 29, 2012 at 9:15 am

Allen! The calls! They're coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

ChernobylSoup June 29, 2012 at 9:18 am


boobookitteh June 29, 2012 at 9:20 am

And the voices are coming from inside his head.

HistoriCat June 29, 2012 at 10:00 am

This time sir, it's your turn – martini?

HistoriCat June 29, 2012 at 10:36 am

It's your turn sir – martini?

ChernobylSoup June 29, 2012 at 9:15 am

"IN A WORLD, where good triumphs, and evil meets its maker, Allen West would be… Gone in Sixty Seconds."

MumbletyRadio June 29, 2012 at 9:18 am

Oppressed West, Sees Through Glass Darkly

mbobier June 29, 2012 at 10:14 am

Or, as Mark Twain said regarding James Fenimore Cooper, "through a glass eye, darkly"

johnnyzhivago June 29, 2012 at 9:18 am

Feigned outrage over feigned outrage over a feigned outrage?? This is too confusing for me – must watch kitten videos or something.

MosesInvests June 29, 2012 at 10:24 am

Actually, I think West (R-Oreo) is displaying feigned outrage over *real* outrage over feigned outrage.

lulzmonger June 29, 2012 at 1:08 pm


Goonemeritus June 29, 2012 at 9:19 am

Thank God our Nation has finally because of the sacrifice of millions gotten to the point where a black man could be in the position to shit all over the sacrifice of millions.

Jadetiger79 July 1, 2012 at 12:39 am

That's fucking hilarious.

jodyleek June 29, 2012 at 9:19 am

Baiters gonna bait.

Vecchiojohn June 29, 2012 at 9:52 am

And West is a master-baiter.
(Sorry, I'm a little hung over this morning.)

freakishlywrong June 29, 2012 at 9:19 am

Reverse Oreo war criminal has got to go.

actor212 June 29, 2012 at 9:51 am

And not even the cool rainbow ghey Oreo…

elburritodeluxe June 29, 2012 at 9:19 am

West treats the Constitution like he treated innocent Iraqis!

johnnyzhivago June 29, 2012 at 9:20 am

Sadly, Alan West is surrounded by liberal blacks who think he's an asshole and conservative whites who think he's an Uncle Tom. He really should be paranoid.

elburritodeluxe June 29, 2012 at 9:20 am

Would it not be awesome if Adam West ran against him? Just thinking out of the box here.

proudgrampa June 29, 2012 at 11:14 am

dadadadadada… Batman!

johnnyzhivago June 29, 2012 at 9:21 am

I nominate Alan West to lead his people (teabaggers) out of America to a new promised land. Perhaps freedom loving, non-socialist Canada???

ManchuCandidate June 29, 2012 at 9:22 am

Plenty of space in the Yukon.

Biff June 29, 2012 at 9:29 am

Nunavut, even better.

viennawoods13 June 29, 2012 at 9:35 am

Dear god no.

Guppy June 29, 2012 at 10:21 am

Remember the "Promised Land" had to be cleared of indigenous people first, so West would probably prefer Mexico.

ManchuCandidate June 29, 2012 at 9:22 am

Uncle Tom, Uncle Tomming.

freakishlywrong June 29, 2012 at 9:22 am

a political stunt to distract the American people
would be scheduling a wholly cynical, childish racist vote of contempt on the same day as a major SCOTUS decision and hoping to bury it in the snooze cycle. Amirite, Boner?

chascates June 29, 2012 at 9:24 am

He also says here are 5 communists on the Supreme Court.

Dildeaux June 29, 2012 at 9:24 am

Uncle Tom West

johnnyzhivago June 29, 2012 at 9:27 am

Wonder if anyone in his district raises the possibility that the guy is just flat out insane? I mean – just crazy from his Iraq days (not his fault) and he needs actual mental help?

Biff June 29, 2012 at 9:31 am

That's a feature, not a bug!

Guppy June 29, 2012 at 10:23 am

Perhaps, but obviously not a majority of them.

Unless the idea was to vote for him to get him 800 miles away.

i_AM_ready June 29, 2012 at 10:52 am

West hasn't denied he's insane, so we can assume it's true. We'd better start spreading the word so he can get the psychiatric care he needs.

Also Scalia hasn't denied that he has that disease where you get angry and curse all the time.

randcoolcatdaddy June 29, 2012 at 9:29 am

West, are you really that self-loathing or you just a crass tool, looking for a hand-out from Republican whiteys?

I suppose only your conscience and psychiatrist will ever really know.

Biff June 29, 2012 at 9:30 am

I've got lots of guns, but not even one of them has the ability to walk. Technology is something, isn't it?

actor212 June 29, 2012 at 9:32 am

I've got one that comes, does that count?

I mean, comes with me…

HarryButtle June 29, 2012 at 9:53 am

This is my rifle, this is my gun…

Guppy June 29, 2012 at 10:24 am

Do guns have the right to bear themselves?

Biff June 29, 2012 at 10:40 am

I always thought it was "bare"…

Guppy June 29, 2012 at 10:51 am

Do walking arms have the right to bare legs?

Barb June 29, 2012 at 9:33 am

Plain has given her thumbs up for this guy to be VEEP. Is this some sort of weird political draft where the loser gets to pick?

Biff June 29, 2012 at 9:47 am

Well that's it, then–the king-maker savant has spoken.

James Michael Curley June 29, 2012 at 9:49 am

Before August 30, 2008 – Governor of a rural, perpetually frozen state, under investigation and doomed to three more years of the state legislature calling for her resignation.

After August 30, 2008 – Old, mushminded Senator with a fetish for younger women names her as VEEP. IN the ensuing years gets multiple TV shows, big new houses in multiple states, state investigations dropped when she quits as governor and the adulation usually afforded teen aged rock stars who give the paparazzi crotch shots while getting out of limos.

There is something seriously wrong with how we are keeping score in the winners/loosers column.

Barb June 29, 2012 at 9:56 am

Palin got slammed on Twitter all day and all night for her "Obama lied; freedom died" tweet. I forgot how vicious people can be.

Palin makes her statements and then she retreats. She doesn't defend herself. I bet she will wait a few days and then post on her Facebook wall that people are threatening to kill her or some other victim whine.

James Michael Curley June 29, 2012 at 10:12 am

If I owned a Twitter account I would respond quite feverishly to that tweet. I also get quite surprised by what so many post as 'discourse.' I used to fantasize in the early days of electronic communication (CIS 1981) that it would bring forwarded a period of greater transparency, knowledge and cooperation. It hasn't. Just more people ready to yell obscenities at you on the highway of life as they escape in their cars and trucks.

JustPixelz June 29, 2012 at 10:12 am

Is he a witch too?

James Michael Curley June 29, 2012 at 9:39 am

Is that picture a still from the movie American Vampire?

Terry June 29, 2012 at 9:40 am

I honestly wish that Dr. Martin Luther King would haunt the shit out of this guy.

SayItWithWookies June 29, 2012 at 9:45 am

This is clearly all racist Eric Holder's fault — if he'd only give Darrell Issa the evidence of the conspiracy he's sure is going on, there'd be no problem. It's Holder's intransigence in continuing to insist that such evidence doesn't exist that's causing the problem.

But honestly I don't think Holder's skin color has anything to do with it — the dumbass white Democrats who didn't walk out ought to be the ones ashamed of themselves.

freakishlywrong June 29, 2012 at 9:46 am

The worst part of this is that people actually VOTE for this asswad. People you smile and wave at everyday are voting for these wingnutty blowjobs.

Not_So_Much June 29, 2012 at 9:48 am

Too many guns have been fired next to his head. Oh, wait, that was him doing it to POWs.

Take your flat-top fade and fade away. Soon.

Biff June 29, 2012 at 9:49 am

If only Issa had the power to waterboard–then Holder would cooperate, you'd see.

didgen June 29, 2012 at 9:49 am

When will this appallingly monumental crime be solved? Quick get Vin Diesel and a tattoo artist! XXX!

LesBontemps June 29, 2012 at 9:50 am

Yet another gift from America's Dingus.

actor212 June 29, 2012 at 9:51 am

All fast and furious, huh?

Hey….wait a minute…..!

ElPinche June 29, 2012 at 9:56 am

Allen West=Clayton Bigsby

Joshua Norton June 29, 2012 at 9:57 am

Allen West's definition of a racist:

Anyone who doesn't like Allen West.

Dumfuk should have his own personal laugh track to follow him around 24/7.

Dashboard Buddha June 29, 2012 at 11:19 am

"personal laugh track "

You mean Mrs. West?

fawkedifiknow June 29, 2012 at 9:58 am

I don't mean to be appearing to be racist here, but Allen West is a good reason to be, if you already are and need a good reason to justify it. Just saying.

ingloriousbytch June 29, 2012 at 10:06 am

Damn you're right. Just looking at him makes me hate black people.

*punches mirror*

lulzmonger June 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Hmm, I think I see a pattern here … Allen West, Michael Steele, Herman Cain … why does the GOP always back the vilest, slimiest shit-stains they can find as their chosen political candidates of color?


Chet Kincaid June 29, 2012 at 1:46 pm

OK, so as long as you don't like the person, you can hate their race! So simple! Why have we been arguing about this shit for 100 years? And Allen West is such an examplar of "typical blackness" that it makes total sense! Really, dude, snarking is not permission not to think your shit through.

BaldarTFlagass June 29, 2012 at 9:59 am

In other race related news, there's a NASCAR Sprint Cup race in Kentucky tomorrow. I wonder if Allen will be watching; I know I won't be.

ingloriousbytch June 29, 2012 at 10:05 am

Allen West needs to be surrounded by psych nurses with Thorazine and restraints.

starfanglednut June 29, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Starfanglednut libel!

prommie June 29, 2012 at 10:08 am

I just keep seeing Chappelle's black KKK member.

FakaktaSouth June 29, 2012 at 10:28 am

"Because, she was, a n—–lover"
Oh this racism is killing me.
One of the greatest shows ever.

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 10:11 am

Shoot low, Allen, they might be riding Shetlands…..

PubOption June 29, 2012 at 10:13 am

What's the race card anyway? A low spade?

Dashboard Buddha June 29, 2012 at 11:17 am


JustPixelz June 29, 2012 at 10:14 am

When we accused Iran of arming the insurgents in Iraq, West and his like-minded cohorts said that was an act of war against the U.S. I wonder how Mexico feels about how our laws and policies help arm the drug gangs.

timbo71351 June 29, 2012 at 10:21 am

Fuck you Florida voters for electing this asshole.

fuflans June 29, 2012 at 11:27 am

and for myriad other things too!

Antispandex June 29, 2012 at 10:22 am

Jeeze doesn't the left know anything? Walk-outs, filibusters, government shut-downs…all of that is unfair, if the left does it. You see, the way it is SUPPOSED to work in America is, the right-wing stomps it feet and throws a shit fit, and the left gives in. Then, when the right is in power, the left rolls over because "it is wrong to be an obstructionist". Didn't they cover government in your home schooling pamphlet?

Guppy June 29, 2012 at 10:28 am

Was Hamoodi judged by the content of his character?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 29, 2012 at 10:55 am

Ehhh…. I'm gonna go out a limb here, and say that the Black Caucus would not have walked out if Holder was a bit more melanin-deficient. Which is not to say that West isn't a crazy fucker.

Dashboard Buddha June 29, 2012 at 11:14 am

On the other hand, if Holder and the President were more melanin-deficient and republican, this wouldn't even see the light of day.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 29, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Seeing as how it never did see the light of day when the president and AG were more melanin-deficient … you just might have a point.

Chet Kincaid June 29, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Little slow on the uptake, today?

imissopus June 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Wasn't just the Black Caucus that walked out. Something like a hundred Dems led by Pelosi walked out. And let's remember there is a theory that the GOP is doing this in part as payback for the DOJ's efforts to stop states from implementing these voter ID laws that disproportionately affect minority voters. The effect of race on the politics here is a little more complicated than just Holder being black.

BZ1 June 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

didn't Holder shut down the program that the Bushies started?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 29, 2012 at 12:05 pm

AOOGA! Incoming facts! AOOGA!
(**GOPtards dive for their Fauxholes.**)

mavenmaven June 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

Its appropriate, made up racism in response to a made up crime. Truly, the entire conservative platform is a form of postmodernist fiction.

fuflans June 29, 2012 at 11:32 am

Issa and others charge that the ATF intentionally allowed guns to walk as an operational tactic

i don't really understand any of this really. i thought in AZ guns could walk, run a marathon, belly up to the bar or just stone cold shoot a congresswoman if they wanted to.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 29, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Yes, but only if their papers check out.

glamourdammerung June 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Someone needs to loudly ask West publicly if he has checked out the psychiatric programs at the VA.

TribecaMike June 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Allen West replies: "No, Dr. King would be rolling around in a bed with Bayard Rustin, because they were both commie fags. God hates commie fags."

lulzmonger June 29, 2012 at 1:24 pm

A week ago it was libtards who wanted this story to just quietly die.

Now the actual facts are seeing the light of day & my oh my, look who's been lying their asses off the whole fuckin' time. Boehner may be an utter sot, but as the hide-the-putrid-salami timing of the contempt vote shows, even a snivelling piss-tank like him can smell the hammer coming down.

I hope/suspect the proverbial worm is turning.
Make it so.

rickmaci June 29, 2012 at 2:48 pm

You always know for sure exactly what you're dealing with when you see those batshitfuckingcrazyoutofmymind eyes.

extreme_left June 29, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Great photo… he looks like somebody just rumbled his secret stash of crazy underneath the kitchen sink.

DahBoner July 2, 2012 at 7:18 am

28 investigations against Clinton. Nothing. No corruption. Just an intern who touched his pee pee….

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