Remember when your neighbors used to laugh at you for hoarding survival seed kits and gold coins lo these many years? Well, you’re about to get the last laugh because while they’re stuck living under the iron boot of Saul Alinsky John Roberts’ socialist regime like sheeple, you are locked, loaded, and ready for revolution. And today that revolution is upon us.

Now that poors can get health insurance because the demon Supreme Court sided with that commie muslin NOBAMA fella, the only way to defend our freedom is armed insurrection! Mount up and ride to the sound of the gun says former Michigan Republican Party spokesman Matthew Davis.

Matthew Davis, an attorney in Lansing, sent the email moments after the Supreme Court ruling to numerous new media outlets and limited government activists with the headline: “Is Armed Rebellion Now Justified?”

Davis added his own personal note saying, “… here’s my response. And yes, I mean it.”

“There are times government has to do things to get what it wants and holds a gun to your head,” Davis said. “I’m saying at some point, we have to ask the question when do we turn that gun around and say no and resist.

If you have an Obama sticker on your car, you maybe want to avoid the local Wal-Mart or Bob Evans parking lots for a few days. Clearly, this health care thing has angered up the rustics something fierce. [Michigan Capitol Confidential]

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  • ChernobylSoup

    Hey Ma, get the shotgun. Dude coming up the road gots a stethoscope.

  • Ryy

    I hope to god some of these righties start resisting ASAP. I suggest a full armed assault in Tampa. Freedom! Constitution! Kenya!

    • Terry

      Oh, I hope Tampa is a seriously hot mess. Every frickin GOP and Teabagger malfunction needs to be right up in the open and fighting for attention.

      • scvirginia

        Staind yer grownd!

      • I think the SCOTUS guaranteed that today. The large issue that Teabaggers have been up in arms about has been "Obamacare" and that the Supreme Court, with a conservative CJ assenting, affirmed the decision is going to see Tampa make Chicago '68 look like Woodstock

        • Terry

          Fire hoses versus Rascal scooters?


          • Ryy

            Please god let that happen. Just once. Please.

        • randcoolcatdaddy

          NRA written Florida gun laws, Teabaggers with guns, and the high emotions from the court decision are not a good mix.

          • scvirginia

            Meh- they'll prolly jus' string up an Obama effigy- they can borrow Pastor Terry's- & sit around the burning crosses toasting marshmallows & swappin' lies…

        • CleverSobriquet

          HeyTampa, get your tactical nukes here.

    • Oh, honey, they are DEFINITELY having a shootout at the Tampa corral. Take my word for it. The RonPaulTradz will show up armed and ready to take over the convention, the Republicans will resist, and when the smoke clears, the crying will begin. I want to say something cruel, but I really do believe it's gonna be bad, and I don't have it in me to wish death and suffering on a bunch of people I disagree with about politics.

      • miss_grundy

        Well, I do. I not only wish death and suffering on them but public humiliation as well. If they shoot each other or other people, then perhaps the greater number of voters, who until now have not been interested in the election, will see these jerks in action and decide to vote Democrat.

        So, party down congenital nincompoops! Show everyone how stupid you all are!

  • Just. Bring. It. Bitches.

    • stroge

      oh fuck yea. white conservative men aren't the only people with guns or the desire to beat the shit outta somebody for being a dumbass.

      • PhilippePetain

        Concur. We've got the cities, the smarts, and the numbers. Oh, and teeth. And we don't have to drive little scooters to move.

        • alteredimages



  • Barb

    Some days, the supply of available curse words is not enough to meet my demands.

    • That can't happen here, I bought cuss insurance

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Well, you had to, or you would be taxed.

      • CivicHoliday

        Is yosemite sam their spokesperson?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Does Rosetta Stone teach curse words?

    • Wonkette is special that way, isn't it?

    • CapeClod

      That's why shooting people who don't agree with you is the only rational thing to do.

    • Negropolis

      That's the beautiful thing about the English language. It's so easy to make up new words.

  • Callyson

    “You can’t have people walking with lattes and signs and think the object of your opposition is going to take you seriously,” Davis said.

    Um, what? Since when do wingnuts drink lattes? I thought only commie socialist liberals drank those fancy schmancy drinks, while real Americans drink instant…

    • GhostBuggy

      I would drink Postum (if they still made it). I'm not sure where that puts me, politically.

      • BaldarTCrabass

        They really should be drinking Moxie.

      • Put up or shut up

        • miss_grundy

          Do Mormons drink this stuff? Aren't they against caffeine?

    • emmelemm


    • Poindexter718

      Since when do wingnuts drink lattes?, you ask.
      Since Dunkin Donuts started selling giant milk shake versions of them with unlimited Splenda.

    • Nescafe?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Bath Salt conservatives are really losing their shit today.

    • They've hacked John Roberts' page on Wikipedia. The names they're calling the guy! Just this morning, he was a brilliant legal scholar who was leading them to the Promised Land. Now he's a slimy coward who has sold out to support a UNCONstee-TOO-shun-al ruling.

    • Negropolis

      Oh, that's good, real gud. Bath Salt conservatives/Republicans, FTW.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I think we can all recall the fact that the Founders decided to revolt against Great Britain when the British decided to impose health care on the colonies.

    • No vaccination without representation!

      • James Michael Curley

        No leeches without teabagger speeches.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Michele Bachmann?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Join or Die pay an annual penalty up to $600!

    • Angry_Marmot

      You should probably stay away from the free blankets.

      • But they look so warm! Look at that fellow over there, wrapped in them and really sweating!

    • PubOption

      There was a skirmish in Boston over the forced consumption of flavonoids.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Matthew Davis, another courageous lawyer taking up arms for change in America.

    • Geminisunmars

      Prolly 'cause he don't have a leg to stand on.

    • James Michael Curley

      Only a few years ago a public statement would have him upfront the bar in 21 days fighting against a 6 or 12 month suspension.

      • Dumbedup

        that occurred to me too, isn't armed rebellion a violation of the professions rules? No screwing clients, no stealing and no armed rebellion!

        • Chichikovovich

          And the third one has even been (up to now) generally obeyed by the legal profession (outside the Treason-in-Defense-of-Slavery states).

    • Encouraging OTHERS to take up arms for change in America. But he'll defend them on any charges, after they're arrested. Hey, ten per cent off, what more d'ya want?

  • Mrs. weejee informs me that all of our splurge gunz are fully loaded with slightly rancid whipped cream. We're ready!

    • Fare la Volpe

      our splurge gunz are fully loaded with slightly rancid whipped cream

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    • scvirginia

      Dude, that is super scary- don't point that thing over here!

    • Terry

      I have dozens of rotten eggs and live on an upper floor of a high rise. I'm ready for a fun time.

    • I've got fresh cream in mine!

      Wait. What's a splurge gun?

      • Rent "Bugsy Malone," a pie-in-the-eye gangstah movie.

      • Oh, just get in your bunk already.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe


  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    From the asshole's email: "In 2008, we the people elected Barack Obama as president, and the 100-year progressive trek to tyranny begun in 1912 with Woodrow Wilson's election was complete."

    Yup. Especially the Reagan-Bush-Bush contributions toward a fascist, illiterate society.

    • MacRaith

      Um, if we completed it in 2008, that would be a 96-year trek towards tyranny. Math is one of those liberal things, I guess.

      • 96, 100, stop being such a liberal, K?

      • scvirginia

        He prolly meant that the Elders of Zion were already planning the Obama presidency back in 1908.

    • Yeah, I could totally see Woodrow Wilson being a fan of a black guy being in the White House.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Daddy's rifle in my hand
    felt reassurin'
    He told me,
    Health care means run, son,
    numbers add up to nothin'
    But when the first shot
    hit the docks I saw it comin'
    Raised my rifle to my eye
    Never stopped to wonder why.
    Then I saw black,
    And my face splashed in the sky.

    • prommie

      Powderfinger? I should just google, I know.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Yes, Powderfinger. It just seemed to fit.

        • Ryy

          It did indeed fit

          • prommie

            I thought so too.

  • CivicHoliday

    Awww shit, I am SO getting keyed at work today

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      Park across the street. The walk will be good for you.

    • James Michael Curley

      I'm worried about my car with the big Obama Forward sticker getting keyed in the parking lot in white bread suburban NJ.

      • AbandonHope

        Buy a bunch of Obama stickers and put them on random Republican cars.

        • This is so beautifully subversive, I want to have sex with it.

        • James Michael Curley

          Sounds like a plan. I already have dozens of the ones they send when you respond to a poll or send in a donation.

          • Jadetiger79

            Do eeeeeeeet!

        • Brilliant! Simply brilliant! (rushes off to put scheme in action)

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I have lately thought of putting quite a few Obama signs on my car, then parking it at Walmart….with a hidden camera inside.

        • James Michael Curley

          In Middlesex county NJ’s Wal-Mart it would probably not faze anyone. Six miles south in Monmouth County all the Wal-Martians would get the vapors and keel over.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Well, this is Texas. So I have my choice of Wal-Marts north, south, east and west. Seriously though, I get a bazillion YouTube hits if I could get footage of someone taking their Obamarage out on my (paid for) car.

        • Ooh, nice idea!

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Sorry. When I first read your post, I was hoping that was a sexual euphemism.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Hey, I bet it could be if the Obama Forward is on his butt.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Also, is there a liberal arms group? I'll buy a fucking gun and become a lifetime member tout suite if there is… and learn how to shoot it, of course.

    • Callyson

      I'm going to have to check this one out:

      (Usual disclaimer, in a totally non – violent way etc.)

      • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

        Yeah, I just googled. And $25 per month is a bit tight for me… but I guess that's the new paradigm, ennit…?

        I can't wait until I buy a fifty cal and show up at Knob Creek in Kentucky… with my Obama sticker. YEEEE-HAAAAAW!!!!

        • Estproph

          Basic is $10/yr.

        • CleverSobriquet

          Yeah! You definitely want lethality, wounding them will just make them need Obamacare

    • 313pirate

      you may want to check out the pink pistols or Jews for the preservation of firearms ownership, or perhaps

  • noodlesalad

    So these fuckers are threatening to kill American cops and soldiers now? When are we allowed to call them traitors?

    • Mittens Howell, III

      When they register as Democrats. Apparently.

    • MacRaith

      Oh, you can call them traitors any time – it's your First Amendment right. But now you can call them traitors and have the facts on your side too.

    • scvirginia

      I hope this link works- it should take you to a Mark Fiore cartoon:

      • miss_grundy

        Thanks for the link, great cartoons!

    • Negropolis

      I got a head start. I've been calling them traitors for years, especially after 9/11.

  • Schmannnity

    Matt Davis? Great, great grandfather Jefferson would be proud.

  • edgydrifter

    Blah blah chest-thumping blah. These overfed Wolverine-wannabes talk a big game, but I haven't seen many of them eager to actually take the field. Either shut up and fight, or just shut up. In any case, shut up. I'm looking at you, too, Texas.

    • That works both ways. After all, Alec Baldwin didn't move to Canada after Bush won re-election

      • TribecaMike

        Most of Baldwin's movies are probably filmed in Vancouver, so he's halfway there already.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      Yes, it is funny to consider how the world's greatest volunteer army — the private gun owners of Amercia — is made up of untrained civilians…

  • Schmannnity

    No digital prostate exam without representation!!!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I remember all these brave patriots, armed to the teeth and marching on Washington back in 2000 to save the nation when the White-House was stolen.

    Oh, my mistake, they were the ones cheering.

    • DahBoner

      Yeah, the Supreme Court overthrew the election. So?–2000, Repukes

  • The interwebs are FULL of cowsuit crazypants hysteria today, AND I LOVE IT. Mmm, delicious schadenfreude!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Is it prescience or insanity that my long dead father (40 years this august) said "One day there will be two sides. You have to pick which side you want to be on."

    He didn't say that as fatherly advice, he stated in the context of some political belief he thought was radical.

    Oh, he was a conservative.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Mao Tse Davis!!!

  • FBI calling on Line 1, Secret Service on 2. Something about "reason," or something that sounds like it.

  • An_Outhouse

    Their little heads must be assploding. The darkie just required welfare for everybody paid for by the most productive members. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh happy day.

  • coolhandnuke

    We have yet to hear from Ted Nugent today. Please, pretty please Editrix bring us some Nugent…he's gotta be going double gonzo today.

    • Sadly, Teh Nuge is on tour and unavailable for comment, unless you're a nubile sixteen year old with a nice rack

      Are you?

      • Terry

        He's playing in Michigan next. He should issue a joint announcement with Matthew Davis.

      • coolhandnuke

        I am of a legal age. No rack but on occasion I sprout antlers.

  • MacRaith

    If clowns like this guy really lived in the kind of society they think they live in, they'd all have been rounded up and sent to FEMA death camps long ago. But they're still free to walk around and spew hateful, fact-free nonsense about the government and the president. Ain't America grand?

    • GemlikeFlame

      Land that I love, but seriously… Is it just me or are there any coherent rationales for why this is a bad thing?

      I've read all the rants and even the most recent PalinTwitter on the topic but I have yet to have anyone get down to nuts and bolts about what terrible effect this is going to have on whatever it is going to have a terrible effect on. Does anyone really believe that this mandates death panels and the like? Or is this just more Obama-bashing?

      Can somebody explain this to me?

      • MissNancyPriss

        I dunno.

  • Baconzgood

    Ummm. Treason isn't very patriotic.

  • Goonemeritus

    I wish you told me to avoid Bob Evans before I went to all you can eat deep fried Thursdays for lunch.

    • scvirginia

      Is it a safe bet that a 'Bob Evans' is similar to a 'Golden Corral'?

  • mavenmaven

    If them poors get healed, we'll KILL 'EM!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "There are times government has to do things to get what it wants and holds a transvaginal ultrasound wand to your head,” Davis said. “I’m saying at some point, we have to ask the question when do we turn that transvaginal ultrasound wand around and say no and resist."

    • miss_grundy

      When we stick it up your ass, Davis!

  • Those FEMA death trains are rolling! How the hell do I break the news to Granny???

    • scvirginia

      I think I saw her down at the gun show?

  • freakishlywrong

    Crazy fuckers. How in the fuck do mild reforms on a for-profit healthcare system inspire armed rebellion against your own gubbmint? Crazy Mothafuckers.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Word. I'd like to see these guys' eyeballs explode when they see something REALLY worth getting upset over, like a famine or plague.

      Then again, it's hard to imagine anything worse than the horror of an attractive, intelligent, black Democrat taking the White House.

    • Here's what it will come down to:

      1 asshat will be caught carrying a gun to a rally for a Congresscritter. He'll be arrested, and tried and convicted.

      That is all.

      • Terry

        In Arizona, things went much further than that and nothing really changed.

    • freakishlywrong

      I'd just like to see a member of the vaunted fourth estate ASK that goddamn question.

  • x111e7thst

    Makes me long for the good old days when the black helicopters of the world government would just have swooped down on this fucker and carted him off to face a death panel.

    • real_dc_native

      Wait – does this ruling mean we get our death panels now? That's Great because I still have my list!

  • TribecaMike

    Oh goody, I've wanted to see a replay of Shay's Rebellion for ages! Or is this a lot more like the Whiskey Rebellion?

  • fartknocker

    I suspect the amount of bullshit currently being broadcasted by Fox News and the WSJ would make John Deere envious. It is fun watching there heads implode over the court's ruling.

  • MissTaken

    I done read that these so-called doctors like to stick a camera up your butt and take a pikshur. Wut you think the guvmint gonna do with them there picshures, huh??!1/ I ain't lettin nobody take a pictuur of my buttt!!11!!

    • SorosBot

      But it's perfectly OK to force the doctors to stick a camera in your vajayjay if you want an abortion.

      • glamourdammerung

        Now, to be fair, have you all thought maybe it is not that they are anti-abortion as much as they just like shoving cameras inside women?

        I guess we will have to see what gets added to the Federal Flood Insurance next to see if my theory is valid.

    • BaldarTCrabass

      Polyp libel!

    • prommie

      Thats just a cover for what they're really doing, which is planting secret surveillance chips what can read your thoughts up there in your butt.

  • Crank_Tango

    Let's wait to hear what noted constitutional scholars Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent have to say on the subject.

  • coolhandnuke

    This might be news to Davis and his paramilitary fantasies, but there are legions of progressives who can (and have) skillfully execute(d) a head shot with an M16 from 500 yards and can deliver some hand-to-hand whoop ass like he has never seen or felt.

    • Jimmyone

      Yeah, these wackos just don't get it…Some of us older hippie types like guns too, and we knows which end to point. Not all the skills learned during the 60's and 70's have been lost.

      • MosesInvests

        Some of us were soldiers, also, too.

  • Estproph

    I can't wait for them to try to overthrow the government. This should be entertaining. There's not enough Cheetos for them to supply an army.

  • Healthcare reform makes wingnuts all shooty.

  • Extemporanus

    The Tree Of Diabetes must be refreshed from time to time with the blood sugar of doctors & patients.

  • SorosBot

    I think the southern states tried that once, it didn't go too well for them.

    • AbandonHope

      Yes, but this time we should just let 'em. I think they greatly overestimate their importance.

      • glamourdammerung

        How about a compromise of we flatten them, then cut them loose?

    • Oh I don't know, they make out like bandits when it comes to where tax Ameros are spent vrs. where they are collected.

  • When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for right-wing blowhards to whine…Matt Davis will send an email.

    • scvirginia


  • James Michael Curley

    Obama has destroyed more jobs and ruined my company. I just signed a long term contract for wheel barrow rentals so my employees can cart the bodies of ailing poors off the streets.

    • I'm not dead yet!

    • TribecaMike

      I'm getting better!

      • Came for the Python references, leaving happy

      • MosesInvests

        You're not fooling anyone, you know.

    • MosesInvests

      Do us a favour, eh?

  • SayItWithWookies

    But if there isn't needless suffering in America, how will the rich know they're better than everybody else?

  • BZ1

    a call to arms from JeffersonMatthew Davis

  • James Michael Curley

    Need to get out the message that it isn't Obamacare, it's Obama Cares.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Isn't it a bit foolish to try to revolt against a country who spends more on its defense than any other country on the globe…ever?

    • James Michael Curley

      Then every other industrialized country on the globe COMBINED!

    • real_dc_native

      Those people in the Minuteman costumes with their rifles are going to feel pretty stupid when the government brings out the Nuclear Cannon.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Why can't we have Phasers? Just us, not them. But, really, why can't we have Phasers? It doesn't even need a “STUN” setting.

    • miss_grundy

      Wow, did you watch The Newsroom on Sunday night??????

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Actually….yes. I think I am going to like that show.

  • Antispandex

    Look, they had all of this champagne bought, the "see we told you so" parties were planned, all of their "I was against Obama care before it was popular" speeches were written…can you blame a guy for being pissed?

  • glamourdammerung

    I would think that advocating a criminal act would get one removed from the bar.

    • real_dc_native

      only if you are a liberal or a brown person

    • You'd think.

  • chascates

    Stalwart defender of the poor Rush Liimbaugh opined on today's show that this is going to hurt poor people the most, because the states are broke, BROKE, (since they got rid of all taxes except 'sin' taxes) and the states are the ones who will have to pay for this.
    A CATO institute spokesman on NPR said it'll hurt more than poor people because the now insurance companies will be forced to give people with preexisting conditions they worst sort of medical care.

  • What the fuck is going on with my state? I mean, I get the chronic unemployment and rotting infrastructure can make people cranky, but have they stopped pumping Xanax in our water supply?

  • Any minute now, some of his fine, upstanding fellow-citizens will be trundled into the ER, having shot off their teensy weensy little dickie-birds by attempting to comply with his call to armed insurrection.

    Jeeze, these people are too fucking pathetic for words. What are the penalties for inciting armed insurrection, again?

    • miss_grundy

      An idiotic HVAC technician on a job site in Birmingham, MI shot off part of his peen when he was moving his Glock around his waistband. It's a shame he missed the femoral artery because it at least would have thinned the herd by one member….

      • I was thinking of that fine, not-so-upstanding-any-longer gentleman, actually. Hopefully, he has taken himself out of the gene pool without contributing to its further deterioration.

  • sullivanst

    Davis, why don't you join your other highly intellectually developed conservative friends and escape the horrible scourge of the government acting to expand healthcare access to as many Americans as possible by fleeing to Canada? You're almost there already!

  • Allmighty_Manos

    My grandpa didn't fight in WWII to defend my right to stiff hospitals so I could get out of buying health insurance just to see some Commie judge to take it away.

  • Guppy

    Oh boy! He's about to have long, uncomfortable meetings with the Secret Service and the Marshals Service! Not even the Nuge has pulled that one off (yet)!

  • sullivanst

    To the reeducation camp with him!

    (Can you reeducate someone who has yet to be educated?)

  • Chichikovovich

    This guy lives in Michigan, but I'd just like to make sure it is noted in the record that he is an Ohio State grad.

    • real_dc_native

      4 dead in Ohio….

    • MissNancyPriss

      duly noted.

      • Chichikovovich

        Thanks, Miss Nancy, I'm counting on you to help spread the word.—

  • The only thing better than the ruling is this thread.

    I'm just gonna take a few minutes and soak in it.

  • owhatever

    He is so cute when he's mad. Just a fuzzy little muppet with a hinged mouth but an unhinged brain. When I first read his post, I thought he was offering to turn the gun around and commit suicide, and I supported that choice.

  • elburritodeluxe

    We can call it the Rascal Rebellion!
    Crazed teabaggers will turn their motorized wheelchairs into Technicals, mounted with recoilless rifles.
    Run (or walk quickly) for the hills, Libruls!

  • Nostrildamus

    Don't worry. It's just a surveyor's gun.

  • OurHoboSenator

    I've been avoiding Bob Evans for almost twenty years, since my last grandparent died.

  • real_dc_native

    I get it now. We've lined the souther border with stupid states like Texas and Arizona. Now Michigan is bravely protecting our northern border with a stupid buffer. We don't need to worry about Canadians sneaking into the country with states like Michigan lining the border!

  • so i think we're not campaigning for bamz in MI this year.

  • If a liberal had spouted this bullshit during W's administration, he'd have been waterboarded in Gitmo.

  • randomjnerd

    Looks like the 101'st chairborne has declared defcon 2.

  • swell65

    But Matt Davis apologized for sending an errant e-mail that contained what he called unedited work product.
    Davis said he typed his comments and accidentally hit “reply all.”

    Email is *hard*, people!

    • TribecaMike

      Todd Palin & Joe The Un-Plumber had a baby?

      • MosesInvests

        That's Not-Joe the Un-Plumber to you, bub!

  • ttommyunger

    The Derp is strong with this one.

  • The way I remember my high school civics lessons, it is against the law to promote armed rebellion against the government.

    Your move, FBI.

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