Unofficial Seattle Wonkette Meetup Saturday 6/30: Toast The ACA, Mourn The Public Option

by Doktor Zoom

It's a Do It Yourself PaaartayRemember, Wonketteers in Oregon, Washington and even one or two of you freaks from Idaho: This is the weekend for the Decidedly Unofficial Seattle Gathering of the Wonkalos, and if enough people show up, we promise to never again use that term! The shindig will be Saturday June 30 starting at 6:30 PM at Latona Pub in beautiful Seattle.

The Wonkette gathering will be in the upstairs loft and pavilion. Be ready to drink like the Fremont Troll, if the Fremont Troll were able to set down that Volkswagen and pick up a pint. Your Correspondent will be there, assuming his 1973 Chevrolet, Vlad the Impala, does not deplete the Strategic Petroleum Reserve in making the trip from Boise.

Please note that this reader-organized event is not part of the officially-sponsored Wonkette Drinky Thing, so if you were expecting any actual Wonkette editorial staff to show up, you would be sadly disappointed.

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Hola wonkerados.

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Isyaignert June 29, 2012 at 12:14 pm

"…Vlad the Impala…" Hahaha! Happy Friday everybody – see you on Saturday.

a_pink_poodle June 29, 2012 at 12:20 pm

All these Seattle stereotypes are offensive, good… *reads name* sir/madam!

Biff June 29, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I've been looking for a word that rhymed with buffalo for my epic pome [sp] I've been working on.

Geminisunmars June 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Have a happy drinky event. Take vid and pix, and make sure everyone signs the release so we can see them and have them identified.

OzoneTom June 29, 2012 at 12:35 pm

If I were in the southern part of the state I'd be trying to carpool with you. Drink-up Wonketteers!

not that Radio June 29, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Hey, Dok — OT, but Texas GOP says that that whole "critical thinking" thing was just a mistake. They weren't thinking critically about it.

weejee June 29, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification)

Conservatives have had a hard on about values clarification since the mid/late 1970s. This was when stats were clearly showing that programs that included that stuff in early childhood, like Head Start, was producing older kids who were much, much less likely to get involved in gangs & drugs. Oh no can't have teaching kids that sort of stuff they may start questioning about Noah, Shem, Ham and Japheth riding on dinosaurs.

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 2:04 pm

They rode Mastodons, dummy!

BoatOfVelociraptors June 30, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Beware the mastadon. It will cut you with a linoleum kniiiiiife! !

Fox n Fiends June 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

What about us smug ex-pats living in the Socialist Paradise also known as British Columbia? We will bravely cross the border into the gun-crazed methlab known as "Seattle" and flaunt our healthcare, gay marriage, and five weeks vacation in your lumpen faces, and perhaps buy you a pint with our fancy money supplied by Communist China, which they give us by the boatload for oil and dead trees and other shit we used to sell to America when it was a real country.

Doktor Zoom June 29, 2012 at 12:59 pm

You know, I was going to mention you Canada guys, and then I went to get another cup of coffee while I was typing, and plum forgot.

So typical, and so characteristic of the relationship between our two nations.

OldWhiteLies June 29, 2012 at 1:01 pm

As long as you don't bring any Tories with you – or tar sands for that matter, then I for one will welcome you heartily. Wayward depressed and mourning Leafs, Canucks, Sens and Habs are also welcome.

What the hell, bring an Atlantic-er or two, and snag anyone who sounds like Chantal Hébert to bring with also, to round out the panel, as it were.

Fox n Fiends June 29, 2012 at 1:08 pm

A+ for the Chantal reference. she's the best.

PS Wonkalos comes from Juggalos. Do some research, if you dare….

OldWhiteLies June 29, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I watch the CBC daily. Their [allegedly] party-aligned commentators actually speak to and of each other with moderate respect. Substantive policy conversations are had. However CAN politicians themselves have sadly devolved into US-like parodies of themselves.

Have you attempted full CAN citizenship, or are you work-visa-ing it?

Fox n Fiends June 29, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Full citizen.

While the American influence is certainly grotesque to behold, I work with and know plenty of conservatives who are to the left of Obama. If the Libs and NDP ever merge they'd have an easy majority.

emmelemm June 29, 2012 at 1:39 pm

"flaunt our healthcare, gay marriage, and five weeks vacation in your lumpen faces"

Hey!!! Unkind, man, unkind.

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Just so you leave the Celine Dion Stick-Twat at home.

Fox n Fiends June 29, 2012 at 2:12 pm

She's in Vegas taking your tax dollars via old stupid fucks. Thanks!

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Belongs in fucking Branson. No, wait; Vegas is farther away.

Isyaignert June 29, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I would be an ex-pat living in beautiful, sane B.C., but couldn't be that far from the grandkids. Five weeks vacation? That's so European. Lucky you.

OldWhiteLies June 29, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Hell, as if just the drinking with like-minded peoples wasn't enough; now I get to witness the storied chariot that is Vlad the Impala. Giddy anticipation ensues.

But Wonkalos? Is that some sort of Latin-ification of Wonketteers?

lulzmonger June 29, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Don't mourn, organize LIKE A BOSS.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 29, 2012 at 1:09 pm

So, everyone is going to wear a face mask of their avatars, right, so we can recognize each other? Or is emmelemm actually a jumping pig? I'm going to try to make it just to answer such questions?

emmelemm June 29, 2012 at 1:41 pm

My pig is flying, not jumping!


Today she's really flying, because the Supremes upheld "Obamacare".

MissTaken June 29, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Wonkalo makes me think of that song, you know that song. The one with the "low, low, low, low". That song where Tom Cruise was dancing and something something apple jeans, furry boots. Oh you know what song I'm talking about.

Anyways, have fun drinking the alcohol!

weejee June 29, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Southbound I-5ers who are not familiar with the Green Lake area might find taking Exit 169 the easiest. For northbound I-5ers you absolutely want to take Exit 170. When you are on the exit ramp, just after you pass the Exit 170 road sign (it'll be on your left towards I5) make sure to look to your left. This is the beloved Betty Page exit. City streeters will obviously know where they are going ;=)

emmelemm June 29, 2012 at 1:42 pm

When the Exit sign is on your left, you'll want to look to your right, if I'm not mistaken?

weejee June 29, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Absolutely, to Betty is on the right.

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Are you Zombie Johnny Carson?

savethispatient June 29, 2012 at 6:44 pm

And don't forget, whichever way you're travelling on the I5, just go 10 mph below the speed limit whilst in the outside lane. You'll fit in like a star!

UW8316154 June 30, 2012 at 6:11 pm

The state patrol is EVERYWHERE on I-5 today. Watch your speed, kiddies.

DahBoner July 2, 2012 at 7:14 am

What about the farm report? What's the price of OG Kush?

I_P June 29, 2012 at 1:54 pm

God this weather sucks. I'm going to stay home and resume cutting myself.

emmelemm June 29, 2012 at 2:16 pm


Lionel[redacted]Esq June 29, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Might as well come to the party and cut yourself with the rest of us.

I_P June 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Can't. Going to BC on Saturday. Hopefully while I'm there I'll run into a few wingtards who have decided to leave the country and congratulate them on their excellent choice.

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 2:10 pm

If I thought any actual Wonkette Staff would actually show up, I wouldn't attend. I have my standards, ya know. Just joking, l can't attend anyway, wifey won't let me.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 29, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Boooo. Dump your wife!

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Naw, she's a nice girl.Sent from my iPhone

Nostrildamus June 29, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I'm meeting wifey afterward. Told her that by then I'd be liquored up and ready for luvin'. Seemed to work.

ttommyunger June 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Hard for a teetotaler to make that promise. Not sure I could sell it, anyway. Glad somebody I like is going to get some.Sent from my iPhone

I_P June 29, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Wonkalo Motto: F**king conservatives. How do they work?

Nostrildamus June 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm

1. Apply for farm subsidy;
2. Deposit money in Cayman account;
3. Clip coupons;
4. Complain about shiftless darkies.

savethispatient June 29, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I just received my "Learn About the United States: Quick Civics Lessons for the Naturalization Test" pack from USCIS, perhaps I shall bring it to quiz my fellow Wonkalos. And out any secret communists, obviously!

savethispatient July 1, 2012 at 3:04 am

Didn't bother testing, assumed everyone was a communist anyway.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 30, 2012 at 6:52 pm

The 16 bus goes right past the place, so safe imbibations.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 30, 2012 at 9:37 pm

6:30 6/30

BoatOfVelociraptors June 30, 2012 at 11:59 pm
savethispatient July 1, 2012 at 2:59 am

I don't remember sitting on the ceiling… but, hey, I was drinking: the tape doesn't lie.

a_pink_poodle July 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm

The bar is notorious for not shielding against the effects of Lionel Richie dance parties next door.

a_pink_poodle July 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm

We were supposed to take sideways images, not upside down!


BoatOfVelociraptors July 1, 2012 at 1:25 am

It is way too loud.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 1, 2012 at 2:08 am

Sorry to dash, but my bus comes in 2 minutes.

Nostrildamus July 1, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Lovely to talk to y'all last night: WeeJee, Owls, Emmellemme, BigSkullFuckingDog, JonWhoDoesntComment and the rest whose handles I can't recall at the moment. Had dinner w/ the wifer afterwards and she told me "The thing I love about you is that you're always growing … well, maybe not your sense of humor …".

Isyaignert July 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Great to meet you too Nostrildamus! Damn pity that Doktor Zoom and Vlad the Impala couldn't make it to the shindig, but it was great to meet so many Wonketters and I've been having big fun with my door prize – <a href="” target=”_blank”>

Thanks again WeeJee for setting this up and thanks to our Editrix for everything you do to keep me sane, informed and entertained.

I luv yous guys!

a_pink_poodle July 1, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Alright, Lurker Jon! Now get an account and a picture for your avatar!

anniegetyerfun July 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm

GAWD, it kills me that I didn't get to go. I hope everyone had a blast.

Doktor Zoom July 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Also, too, Seattle meetup-goers with pictures and stories of the party should email me at doktor underscore zoom at-sign yahoo dot com. This comment will self-destruct in 24 hours or so to prevent spam.

If you have usernames to go with photos, so much the better!

News on the Fix Vlad pun-raiser to come soon.

emmelemm July 2, 2012 at 1:31 pm


ETA: BoatOfVelociraptor's comment below has a link to a video. You can mainly see Weejee.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 2, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Was there anyone else to see?

a_pink_poodle July 2, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I'm the Asian looking guy in the cream colored light jacket and yellow shirt with the two headed eagle of the Holy Roman Empire on it!

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