Rand Paul Just Wants To Add a ‘Life Begins at Conception’ Plank To This Flood Insurance Bill, What’s the Problem?

by Jim Newell

Greatest libertarian everThe Senate is trying to pass a flood insurance bill, and all Rand Paul wants to do is improve the quality of flood insurance that Americans nationwide will enjoy in the years ahead. Specifically, he wants to add a lil’ Life at Conception Act, which would “ensure equal protection for right to life of each born and preborn human person.” Why won’t Harry Reid bring this amendment to a vote on a flood insurance bill?

Rand Paul has spent his early summer offering all sorts of practical amendments, like one for the farm bill that would cut off aid to Pakistan. That was germane enough, but this one, to attach life-begins-at-conception language to a flood insurance bill, is hella germane like the dickens. And yet pro-life Mormon Harry Reid won’t allow this, because he loves abortion:

“I’m told last night that one of our Republican senators wants to offer an amendment — listen to this one — wants to offer an amendment on when life begins,” Reid said. “There will not be a vote on that on flood insurance. We’ll either do flood insurance with amendments that deal with flood insurance, or we won’t do it, we’ll have an extension.

“I don’t understand what this is all about,” Reid added. “But I want everyone to know: This flood insurance is extremely important. The big pushers of this bill are Republicans senators, veteran Republican senators.

“They better work on their side of the aisle, because I am not going to put up with that,” he concluded. “If the Republicans won’t stand up to that, to the person who’s going to that, I’m not going to.”

Stand your ground, Rand Paul!

[The Hill]

 

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{ 168 comments }

kissawookiee June 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Why does Harry Reid want all the fertilized eggs to drown when they don't even have tiny arms to put tiny, tiny water wings on? MONSTER.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 26, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Helpless little eggs, drowning in a sea of sperm, need flood insurance. Really, it makes perfect sense.

Barb June 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Yeah, we need some of that flood insurance, fuck health insurance.

Lube June 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm

LOL!!!!!

HistoriCat June 26, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Actually, we do – well, some us do. If your home is in a flood plain, you may be required by your mortgage company to buy it. A couple years ago when there was a gap between the old extension and the new extension (because the Republicans are assholes who hold up everything), you couldn't buy flood insurance – and there were people who couldn't close on their houses because of this situation.

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Now now, just as floods begin with each little raindrop, so too does life begin at sperm formation…

Buckminster June 26, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Now, there's some rock-solid "scientific" proof! Why are these godless lib'rals trying to put Rand Paul's ideas down?

johnnyzhivago June 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm

The flood insurance bill is nothing but gubermint intrusion on American's rights to be blessed by God's righteous rainstorms. Did Noah have flood insurance???? Did these liberals ever hear of sandbags????

It's not in the constitution and it's probably just something those National Geographic scientists have dreampt up while they were inventing this global warming nonsense.

emmelemm June 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm

"Did Noah have flood insurance?"

I declare that the Win of the Week. (In my book.)

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Yes, he did have flood insurance. It was called an ark.

anniegetyerfun June 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm

That's not insurance. That's an escape vehicle.

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Either way, I live near the coast, so I'd better find some good planks & start buildin'.

veritass June 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm

What's a fake doctor to do when he can't even get a Life at Conception amendment added to a flood insurance bill? I have an idea:

Next time he's in a bathroom he should stand his ground against that guy in the mirror. Quick Rand, he's comin' right for you!

larrykat June 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I would expect germaine, water-related amendments from someone who worships the Aqua-Buddha for christ's sake.

sati_demise June 26, 2012 at 7:26 pm

bizarre religious connection to Paul trivia win

elburritodeluxe June 26, 2012 at 4:37 pm

This bill is too important not to play politics with it.

ManchuCandidate June 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

It seems based on Rand's contradictory views, "What I give a shit about life begins at conception and ends at the vagina."

CrunchyKnee June 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Can't wait to see what the Paultards have to say about young Randy this time.

Estproph June 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm

They'll say the same thing they always say:

HAHAHAHAHA Look at me! I'm flying and I'm made out of mayonnaise!

Butch_Wagstaff June 26, 2012 at 8:50 pm

"Ron Paul! He challenges the status quo! Dude, where's the 7-11? I'm sooo baked! Wait, is that the cops? Do you guys hear sirens? Oh man, fuck! We better pull over, man! Fuck!"
And they haven't even pulled out of the parking spot.

Chris June 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Trust Rand, he's a doctor.

Not_So_Much June 26, 2012 at 5:04 pm

That's what his made-up certificate from his made-up organization says.

emmelemm June 26, 2012 at 5:44 pm

No, he just plays one on TV.

CindynEncinitas June 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Let's see: Rand Paul has been married for 22 years but he ONLY HAS THREE KIDS. Does that mean he's had sex 3 times? How did he control the size of his family without birth control? Did he force his wife to bow down and pay homage to each and every one of his little Teabagger sperm? Cuz he sure thinks a lot of the little boogers!

Billmatic June 26, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Anal.

AbandonHope June 26, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Even if he has only had sex three times, what about all the millions of other sperm that didn't manage to fertilize each of those three eggs? And worse, he had to know that only one of those millions of sperm would be successful each time they did it.

I say we charge him with several million counts of premeditated murder.

SorosBot June 26, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Would you want to have sex with that more than three times?

Barrelhse June 26, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Wife has a strap-on.

Butch_Wagstaff June 26, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Rand often has that look like he's beggin' for a peggin'.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 26, 2012 at 4:39 pm

This makes sense, as can you imagine how gross a flood of aborted fetuses would be?

hollywooddood June 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm

This is why we need a federal Department of Vaginal Management.

CindynEncinitas June 26, 2012 at 4:42 pm

It will just be immediately overrun with lobbyists from the Ladybusiness…

Rotundo_ June 26, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I am sure that Mittens will create a cabinet level position for it, perhaps something a little less gender specific (so it can cover all the moral bases) like the Department of Genital Meddling and Window-Peeking or something.

tessiee June 26, 2012 at 10:23 pm

"Department of Genital Meddling"

They don't want genital meddling, they only want vagina meddling.

Mittens Howell, III June 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Raising hand to volunteer as Vaginal Management Czar.

sati_demise June 26, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Sorry, but you cannot say that word in Gopperville.

Tundra Grifter June 27, 2012 at 11:22 am

Will the headquarters be in Virginia?

BaldarTCrabass June 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm

"One of these things is not like the others."

Warpde June 26, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Now if they just passed a bill to increase the number of dykes in Amerka.
Both problems solved.
Win,win.

BaldarTCrabass June 26, 2012 at 4:43 pm

*calls broker*
"Put everything in Subaru."

tessiee June 26, 2012 at 10:24 pm

What th–??
What's the deal with Lesbians and Subarus?
Is that a thing, or just a stereotype?

BaldarTCrabass June 27, 2012 at 7:46 am

It's a thing and a stereotype.

Biff June 27, 2012 at 9:44 am

Also, plaid.

arihaya June 26, 2012 at 10:07 pm

finally, a dyke joke

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 26, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I assume that on the Defense Authorization bill a smart democrat is going to offer an amendment allowing for free, government supplied pot.

weejee June 26, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Rand is just upset that Wes Riddle is getting all the conspiracy press over Barry giving Vlad Putin Wasilla and half the Aleutian Islands or whatever.

LetUsBray June 26, 2012 at 5:14 pm

So… yet another reason to vote for the prez.

BaldarTCrabass June 26, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Who needs flood insurance? Just make some sacrifices to "Aqua" Buddha and all will be well!

Estproph June 26, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Flood Insurance, Life Begins At Conception…what's the difference? They're all just words.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 26, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Can we all agree that, at least to the GOP, all problems in America can be taken care of by sewing up women's lady parts.

But there is no war on women. No siree…, I saw that on FOX News.

MissTaken June 26, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Noah didn't have an abortion during the flood, so neither can you!

Callyson June 26, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I take it the flood happened after Noah got his period then. How convenient.

starfanglednut June 26, 2012 at 5:12 pm

It was a good thing, too. He's such a bithch when he has PMS.

RayneMan June 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Rand got a little confused…you'll have to pardon him.

He thought flood insurance meant the flood of sperm into naughty girl parts. (the 'V' word)

MissTaken June 26, 2012 at 4:48 pm

He's writing the Rand Paul Medical Desk Reference and changing the currently accepted terms vagina, labia, and uterus to "Naughty Girl Parts That Must Never Be Mentioned".

Joshua Norton June 26, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Life at Conception Act

But, as far as they're concerned, it all still ends at birth, so there's that…..

MissTaken June 26, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Maybe Rand has a point. Each time I see that picture of him puckered up my legs immediately clinch, so I certainly have no need for abortion. QED!

Callyson June 26, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Yeah, because it's not as if Kentucky has ever needed insurance against floods or anything…

http://www.kentucky.com/2011/04/26/1720246/floodi

Asshole.

Butch_Wagstaff June 26, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Also the flooding in Bell County, KY a year ago.

SoBeach June 26, 2012 at 4:47 pm

That scamp. Trying to sneak in an amendment voters would reject by a wide margin… Such a rascal, that one.

AbandonHope June 26, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Ah, screw the whole "life begins at conception" thing. You really want to be edgy, conservatives, state that life begins as soon as you conceive of it. I just thought of a baby — crap, now I have to make it real or it's an abortion!

Anyways, it's no more stupid than other definitions.

MissTaken June 26, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I just conceived of a million dollars! I'm rich beotch!

AbandonHope June 26, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Nice try, but first you need to make like Dr. Frankenstein and bring those dollars to life. (See "storms, electrical" for further details.)

SorosBot June 26, 2012 at 4:54 pm

AbandonHope's comment made me think of having a baby, so I think that means you're pregnant; fuck.

starfanglednut June 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm

You two are gonna need another room.

Stabby McBobblehead June 26, 2012 at 4:56 pm

That means you can afford to fly to cool countries to have an abortion. Abortion Tourism will be a growth industry for the age.

sati_demise June 26, 2012 at 7:29 pm

That is the law in Az.

You are considered pregnant 2 weeks before conception in that state for the purpose of legal abortion.

extreme_left June 26, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Won't somebody think of the sperm? every one is alive and should be protected! I call for a ban on socks.

Jus_Wonderin June 26, 2012 at 4:48 pm

He might benefit from a plank to the forehead.

Buckminster June 26, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Or a boot to the head in general.

DemmeFatale June 26, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Floods, monthly floods, and babies!
See the connection now?!
Gah, people!

edgydrifter June 26, 2012 at 4:49 pm

If a fetus doesn't want to get its ass aborted, it can bribe the doctor.
Free market rulez!!!

Callyson June 26, 2012 at 5:13 pm

How many chickens do doctors require to abort an abortion?

I know, I know, AOTK…

Ëxtëmpöränüs June 26, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"Doctor, my water just broke!"

"Hope ya gots flood insurance! Har-har herpty-derp derp!"

ReelSmartKate June 27, 2012 at 5:46 am

It only covers the clean up…..

Fairtackle June 26, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I am waiting for a "Twinkle in Daddy's Eye" amendment.

tessiee June 26, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Everyone is pregnant from the moment they're born!
Boys, too!
You go directly from being a fetus to being pregnant!
Yay!

SorosBot June 26, 2012 at 4:54 pm

But they are libertarians, so they support freedom!

-Except for those of you with vaginas, dark skin, who like other men's penises, or who just don't have much money.

Jus_Wonderin June 26, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Ah, multiple choice. I am good at these.

E?

Buckminster June 26, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Well of course. Some animals are more equal than other animals.

Rotundo_ June 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm

And Republicans are the most equal of them all. doG Bless them one and all!

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Actually, he might have a point about flood insurance: it's kind of pointless to keep paying people to live near rivers and oceans that, you know, flood them out of house and home. Once, twice, I can see. After that, condemn the land and move on.

If that's his point in introducing this amendment, well, he can find a more palatable amendment to propose, I would think.

Woodshedding June 26, 2012 at 6:28 pm

That's already accounted for. After 2 or 3 claims, they project what they might be paying you over the next 20 years and if it's n% of your home's value, you have to either move the structure or raise it.

Tundra Grifter June 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

Yes. Many of these areas are "100-Year Flood Plains" – the disasters are not supposed to be annual events.

People keep rebuilding in "Tornado Alley" – does it makes sense?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 26, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Life begins when you move away for the first time.

hagajim June 26, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Gotta love the small gubmint assholes.

MarionNYNY June 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I'm confused. Why doesn't he just wait for the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v Wade, 5 to 4? It should be coming up very soon on their agenda.

Stabby McBobblehead June 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Stand your ground Rand…what could go wrong?

GeorgiaBurning June 26, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Libertarians were much more fun when nobody was voting for them. Classic case of bait-and-switch?

mrblifil June 26, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Mmm…fetuses.

Jus_Wonderin June 26, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Especially when marinated in steak marinade with ginger and rum. And grilled on a cedar plank.

tessiee June 26, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Fetus donuts for dessert!
And fetus mojitos (it even rhymes) with an ultrasound wand stirrer.

coolhandnuke June 26, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Hey Rand, just build a fucking Ark…there's your insurance.

Tundra Grifter June 26, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Isn't every person who will be birthed on this planet until the end of time a "preborn human being?"

Buckminster June 26, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Can't we just order one on ebay and skip the whole conception thingy?

bikerlaureate June 26, 2012 at 5:08 pm

"Germane" isn't just a potato salad, Senator.

Jus_Wonderin June 26, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I do think his single got all the way to 10 in the top 40.

tessiee June 26, 2012 at 10:30 pm

A snack tray for you if you can name the actual single.

Tundra Grifter June 26, 2012 at 6:09 pm

If I could upfist your comment twice I would.

Tyrannically_Joe June 26, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Best Physician Ever, too, since even the phrase "Life begins at conception" evinces a profoundly flawed understanding of the biology of fertilization, gestation, and development.

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Biology, shmyology… science pffft!

Guppy June 26, 2012 at 5:09 pm

If I didn't know better, I'd almost say Reid had a spine.

MissTaken June 26, 2012 at 5:09 pm

If Scotland had flood insurance the Loch Ness Monster wouldn't have a place to live and she'd be unable to prove to the children of the great state of Louisiana that evolution is fake. This amendment is just Rand saving us from ourselves.

chascates June 26, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Entirely appropriate! 'Life begins at conception' is a tsunami of bullshit.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 26, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Life begins when the sperms shoot out, but sperms don't need flood insurance. They can swim!

fawkedifiknow June 26, 2012 at 5:11 pm

This amendment is to flood insurance as Rand Paul is to ophthalmologist: Unrelated.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 26, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Do you guys know who else was germane?

anniegetyerfun June 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Ms. Greer?

Tundra Grifter June 26, 2012 at 6:10 pm

The Kaiser?

TribecaMike June 26, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Yoooouk?

glasspusher June 26, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Seems to me Dr. Paul emits a lot of methane.

jodyleek June 26, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Michael Jackson's brother?

arihaya June 26, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Eissenhower?

tessiee June 26, 2012 at 11:13 pm

This guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9Tqlc9mwp4&fe

Goddamn, I miss the 80s!

MissTaken June 26, 2012 at 5:15 pm

How is babby drowned?

Buckminster June 26, 2012 at 5:16 pm

This is why if a congressional bill were a human being, it would look like the Elephant Man.

Tyrannically_Joe June 26, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I've always wondered: if life begins at conception, doesn't that mean that identical twins are actually one life? So, if I murder one twin, by, say, letting a flood-damaged building collapse on them, I should really only get charged with assault, because each twin is individually only one half of a life.

HistoriCat June 26, 2012 at 7:53 pm

This comment is sheer genius.

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:32 pm

But what is the half-life of a twin?

smokefilledroommate June 26, 2012 at 5:16 pm

In a perfect world, Rand Paul (among many others) would be held in contempt of Congress for that stupid obstructive bullshit.

Jus_Wonderin June 26, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Sadly, we live in another world.

smokefilledroommate June 26, 2012 at 5:33 pm

No, just in the oxymoron of a "capitalist democracy".

scorpy1 June 26, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Figures that a doctor who's only been certified by his own company probably doesn't know where to stick his tools.

emmelemm June 26, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Isn't he an optomologist or something, also, too?

lochnessmonster June 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I'm for an amendment that bans attaching unrelated crap to bills. What ever happened to clean legislation and the "up or down vote"?

bobbert June 26, 2012 at 10:05 pm

White House. Black Guy.

anniegetyerfun June 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm

No lie: I didn't know Harry Reid was Mormon. I have no idea how this escaped me.

Tundra Grifter June 26, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Funny how it's such a big deal for (r)Money but never seems to come up with Harry Reid.

Steve Young is a Mormon. Also. He founded a charity that provides college scholarships to First Americans.

bobbert June 26, 2012 at 10:07 pm

It doesn't come up much with respect to Harry because he's a Mormon who has only ever run for office in an overwhelmingly-Mormon state. Usually against other Mormons.

Negropolis June 26, 2012 at 11:32 pm

When Reid starts advocating for the abolition of abortion, holding against gay marriage, etc because of his religion…then we can talk about his religion.

That's the great thing about Democrats; so long as you recognize a secular government, you can believe whatever else the fuck you want in your private life.

NorbertsRevenge June 26, 2012 at 10:26 pm

He doesn't wear his magic underwear on his sleeve?

Negropolis June 26, 2012 at 11:29 pm

It's easy to forget or not to know because he's generally not a prig about it. That's true of more Democrats than Republicans, because too many Republicans want an honest-to-god theocracy.

shiningmathpath June 26, 2012 at 5:31 pm

his next plank sets Pi equal to 3

because it honors the Trinity, also too

Troglodeity June 26, 2012 at 5:35 pm

This is fine, but passing the Affordable Care Act by a 60-40 margin was a gross miscarriage of representative government.

starfanglednut June 26, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Randy's brains must have been washed away when his mother's water broke.

ttommyunger June 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm

There's a plank out by the back porch I'd like to add to the side of this mouth-breather's head; and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

TribecaMike June 26, 2012 at 5:52 pm

With apologies to Mr. Dylan:

Now, don't you try an' move me
You're just gonna lose
There's a crash on the levee
And, Randy, you've been refused
Well, it's fetus for fetus
And Galt for Galt
If you go down in the flood
It's gonna be your own fault

Tundra Grifter June 26, 2012 at 6:09 pm

"Germane?" Are we back to that umlaut thingie again?

mavenmaven June 26, 2012 at 6:21 pm

He was being gentle, he was also going to add a teeny little amendment requiring a return to the gold standard.

Woodshedding June 26, 2012 at 6:22 pm

OK, wait. I HAVE flood insurance. The last few years, communications about it have come from the Department of Homeland Security.

So all I can imagine that a NEW flood insurance bill – BACKED BY SENIOR REPUBLICANS – would entail would be taking AWAY that protection. Or maybe saying if you file a claim you have to go live in a FEMA camp while they lose your file. Or something.

The claim forms you have to fill out when you have a flood say nothing at all about people, like how many live in the house. So why do they care whether I have an unborn baby?

This is altogether too creepy.

not that Radio June 26, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I get mailers from FEMA about my flood insurance, which I leave lying around at work to irritate the teabaggers.

StanleyPain2 June 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Republicans don't quite get what "insurance" meant, so the bill is actually about them guaranteeing that there will be a flood.

Redhead June 26, 2012 at 6:25 pm

What? It's Aqua Buddha's will.

Slim_Pickins June 26, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Is Rand one of those communists in Congress that Allen West was talking about?

fuflans June 26, 2012 at 6:32 pm

god damn you guys, i've just spent the last two hours listening to transcripts of marketing interviews with the oldz about medicare (how i ended up working on a marketing – NOT political – study involving medicare the week 5-4 is ruling on ACA is beyond me but there it is).

i cannot tell you how angry i am. i can't even snark about it. these poor deluded people have and know nothing (seriously nothing) except that obama is taking away their life savings (!) and their healthcare and on thursday teh supremes are going to end it all.

to a person they are sick and getting (pricey) government funded treatments. to a person they believe the republicans are saving them. to a person they believe the democrats are trying to destroy the system the democrats put in place. to a person they have NO FUCKING IDEA HOW FUCKED UP MEDICARE IS GOING TO BE IF 5-4 RULES LIKE 5-4 IS LIKELY TO RULE. (not to mention how fucked the supreme court's precedent is going to be but that's something they'll never understand).

god i am so stabby.

and yes, of course i know this is out there. i've seen the fucking hooverounds. but hearing the damage koch et alia have caused in real time makes me want to… i don't know.

move to canada.

emmelemm June 26, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I'm sorry.

…to the couch forts. The end is near.

not that Radio June 26, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Couch forts — do those work? I've seen Assault on Precinct 13, and I have my doubts.

emmelemm June 26, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I was referring to a prommie comment from yesterday.

Woodshedding June 26, 2012 at 6:34 pm

So when does the life of a corporation begin?

bobbert June 26, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Well, when a prospective Board of Directors love each other (and money) very very much ……

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 10:36 pm

When they begin to make campaign donations?

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:50 pm

At deception.

TribecaMike June 26, 2012 at 6:37 pm

And this isn't massive government intrusion into citizens rights how, Rand?

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Rand has a small pee pee, so "massive" is not quite accurate.

glasspusher June 26, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Germane, sure. Just like silane and stannane.

glamourdammerung June 26, 2012 at 8:05 pm

President Obama could pretty much unilaterally remove all the military bases from Kentucky, right?

Tundra Grifter June 27, 2012 at 11:19 am

Starting with Fort Knox?

glamourdammerung June 26, 2012 at 8:09 pm

I would be fine with letting them put this stupidity up for a vote in exchange for an amendment that removes their state from federal flood insurance. After all, the free market will handle that, right?

VinnyThePooh June 26, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Life begins when the Trickle Down fills you and your basement.

lulzmonger June 26, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Backpfeifengesicht with bells on … & I think a chain-mail glove would also help.

Rand's namesake must be rolling over in her safety-deposit box right now.

tessiee June 26, 2012 at 10:20 pm

OK, I've had it with this shit.
I say we pass a constitutional amendment requiring every woman to have an abortion the second she gets pregnant.
Let's give these assholes a real problem to deal with for a change.

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:52 pm

How about we just pass that on its own merits, limited to people who vote Teahadist?

yrbmegr June 26, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I know. Let's see Paul's Life At Conception amendment and raise him a Minimum Wage Increase.

ganmerlad June 27, 2012 at 4:08 am

Rand Paul…founding member of "Libertarians Who Want Liberty For Everyone But Women". AKA "Men Deserve Total Freedom, Bitches Deserve to Make Me a Sandwich Party". AKA "The Eric Cartman Fan Club".

CivicHoliday June 27, 2012 at 4:43 am

Fires and floods and droughts oh my! Maybe just maybe instead of this eggs-are-people bullshit, we could instead add a relevant amendment to this bill, such as smart zoning in flood zones and wetland/floodplain/mangrove restoration. And maybe just maybe the fundies in congress could get their heads out of their asses and recognize the real and immediate threats that climate change poses to their constituents and actually do their jobs for a fucking change and start passing some reasonable proactive environmental legislation. My fucking god.

DahBoner June 27, 2012 at 6:10 am

Life really begins when a woman gets wet.

blitzgal June 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Ayn Rand is spinning in her grave that you share her name. Sure, she was also batshit crazy and a hypocrite, but she was very consistent on two points — her anti-religious attitudes and her pro-choice stance. That's right, libertarians — your blessed goddess said that access to abortion is mandatory in a truly "free" society.

StanleyPain2 June 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Oh no! What will this mean for the Bill to Reduce Inter-Office Spending within the Capitol that also requires women to wear special badges that emit a steady beeping noise when she comes into proximity with a man so that he may be warned and flee in time lest he dare come to close to her unmentionables and be swayed by her siren's voice.

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