more orgy for us

Skipping Democratic National Conventions: It’s All The Rage In Washington!

DERP DERP JET TAXES DERPWho’s not going to the Democratic National Convention now? Why it’s Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill, because she is going to lose her re-election bid. Her excuse: She wants to spend more time talking to voters! “Generally speaking, Claire has not gone to the national convention when she is on the ballot because she believes it’s important to spend as much time as possible in the state of Missouri and talking with voters,” says her spokesperson. What the spokesperson means is, she doesn’t want to be seen in the 10,000-person gay Mexican commie orgy that the Democratic National Convention devolves into by hour two, every time.

McCaskill joins West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin, who has pledged to shoot all Democrats in his bid to win reelection as a Democrat, and many others who will be too busy Talking With Voters to attend the big libtard party:

McCaskill joins a growing list of Democrats who won’t be in Charlotte, including Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., West Virginia Gov. Earl Ray Tomblin, and Rep. Nick Rahall, D-W.Va., Sen. Jon Tester, D-Mont., Mark Critz, D-Pa., Kathy Hochul, D-N.Y., Bill Owens, D-N.Y., and Jim Matheson, D-Utah.

What do they have against Charlotte, the most boring banker city on Earth?

[National Journal]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • Ryy

    Tired old white people don't wanna go hug Obama? Who woulda guessed that?

    Also, these blue dogs are seriously the Democratic equiv of Paultards. At least our 'tards won't be there!

    • Negropolis

      The Paultards are actually better, because at least they have principes. The only thing the Blue Dogs believe in is money, and the only reason they aren't Republicans is because they don't like how the Republicans speak. That's it. That's the only difference. They're the worst of both worlds.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Maybe Limbaugh can help by saying something sickening and get her elected again.

    • Callyson

      Since we know he wants to watch…maybe she can post the video to YouTube. Though I'm not sure if that helps or hurts…

  • nounverb911

    Just as long as Hurricane Ignatz finds it's way to Tampa this August.

    • scvirginia

      The gnatz may be punishment enough in Florida in August…

    • BaldarTCrabass

      I like the way you think. Boo-yah!

    • Angry_Marmot

      Ignatz? Lil' Dollink.

    • Negropolis

      With votes, of course!

      I know that doesn't make any sense, but I'm trying to keep the meme alive.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chill_Bill

    I bet Paultards will be there too.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Ron Paul wins DNC straw poll, even though he wasn't on the ballot and neither was pot legalization or eliminating the Fed.

  • Barb

    I'm sure she will be missed like a cold sore.

    • CivicHoliday

      Sadly Barb she's about as good as we can hope for in purple Missouri…better than some of the Repubs we've had in the past for certain.

  • edgydrifter

    They're afraid of catching the black from Obama.

  • noodlesalad

    What's the 21st century version of Dixiecrats? Tardocrats?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyRadio

    I thought the lady-politicians were supposed to excel at multicasking.

  • valgal2342

    Grow a pair Claire. Be like Missouri and Show Me!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      But keep your blouse buttoned!

      • Negropolis

        That goes against the TGTFO (Tits or get the fuck out) provision.

  • __kth__

    You would think that, what with the convention taking place so close to Pigfucker Holler, that the dignitaries from the other pigfucker states could be induced to attend.

    Also, no doubt all those Ozark pigfuckers will rescue McCaskill from her current 8-point deficit out of gratitude for her snub of the national party.

    • Negropolis

      Also, no doubt all those Ozark pigfuckers will rescue McCaskill from her current 8-point deficit out of gratitude for her snub of the national party.

      This.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I can understand Kathy Hochul missing the convention, mostly because she's in a really tough district for a Democrat (that part of NY is redder than Alabama) but also because people make fun of her name after a few drinks.

    But Bill Owens? Shame on him.

    • Chichikovovich

      Owens is the first Democrat to win that seat since the mid-19th century. Also remember that Charlotte can cause trouble for two reasons: it is the Democratic convention, but it is also in a right-to-break-unions state [called, for bizarre reasons, by the transparently false label a "right to work" state]. Labor is very unhappy about that. So if you're in a red district, and you have labor support, there is a lot of prospective downside there.

      • BaldarTCrabass

        They always leave the last part off, i.e. "right to work your employees to death."

        • scvirginia

          And then replace them with the robotz…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          I thought it was "right to work for the lowest wages and crappiest benefits that your boss can get away with."

      • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

        The most interesting thing about "Right To Work" legislation isn't that it has no real effect on unemployment (see South Carolina, et al) — that breaks both ways; it doesn't attract high-paying technical jobs since on that level it translates to "badly educated" and the employers it may attract tend to be the most abusive, no, the most interesting thing about it is its tendency to, within a year or two, reduce the overall wage scale by at least a dollar or two, across the board, for both hourly and salaried workers alike. In its favor, it has no effect whatsoever on CEO pay, and it depresses the local economy.

  • Goonemeritus

    I’m skipping it as well but only because the only way I would go to Charlotte is if they reformed the Army of the Potomac.

    • rickmaci

      Now THERE is a job that needs finishing. I'm all in on that!

    • Callyson

      I'd hitch a ride with Sherman, myself…

    • GeorgiaBurning

      This time, no more mister nice-guy.

    • Negropolis

      WIN

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But Bill Ayers is still going to be there, right?

    • RedneckMuslin

      Yes, he's going with Rev Wright.

      • Estproph

        And Josef Stalin.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Zombie Saul Alinsky will be there.

    • Negropolis

      Bill Ayers is everywhere. He is omnipresent.

  • LesBontemps

    10,000-person gay Mexican commie orgy

    I am assuming the pinatas will be filled with hammer-and-sickle-themed cock rings.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Are there any other kind?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      *finger snap*

      Quickly! To CafePress!

  • SorosBot

    It's in the South, so the strippers and prostitutes are seriously sub-par.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It's the toof.

      • MissTaken

        Your's had a toof? I couldn't afford one of those.

      • Stabby McBobblehead

        Of course, those prostitutes without teeth at all fetch the highest prices of all.

  • BloviateMe

    Just ever so enamored by the complacency of the left. The Neville Chamberlain of political parties. I grow weary.

  • Callyson

    So the DINOs are ducking the convention, are they? Shit, maybe I should have tried to become a delegate after all…

  • rickmaci

    The DemRats are afraid of their own shadows. I say stop hiding and stick your nose in some Rebubligoons face: they are classic bullies and will fold up and blow away like old tissue paper if you face 'em down.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    She is even more of a hatchet face than Campbell Brown. Are they related?

  • HarryButtle

    Can we get a qualified medical professional to please just declare the fucking Democratic Party dead so we can bury it and move on?

    Frankly, I don't want to be a member of any club that would have that list of fuckwits as members.

  • rickmaci

    Am I the only one that thinks Claire McCaskill looks more like Miss Piggy in that pic?

    • BaldarTCrabass

      More like Miss Piggy than who/what?

      • rickmaci

        Sorry. One of my moarz got away from me.

        • BaldarTCrabass

          I just like being obtuse.

      • MissTaken

        Than Miss Piggy?

    • Stabby McBobblehead

      I do not find this easy to masturbate to

      – Kermit Frog

    • emmelemm

      Poor Miss Piggy.

      (Note how I refrained from saying Miss Piggy Libel!!) oops

  • proudgrampa

    As usual, the Democrats will defeat themselves.

    Fuck.

  • BaldarTCrabass

    Meh, I'm not going either.

  • BaldarTCrabass

    "Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., West Virginia Gov. Earl Ray Tomblin, and Rep. Nick Rahall, D-W.Va."

    Oh no, the WV contingent isn't going to show up! *wrings hands*

    • Negropolis

      Can I be honest? I just want West Virginy to go Republican, already. We're already making inroads in the first Virginia, so I won't miss the hillbillies.

  • MissTaken

    Generally speaking, Claire has not gone to the national convention when she is on the ballot

    That's the kind of loyalty that inspires!

    • bikerlaureate

      Good thing she hasn't benefited at all from the party's infrastructure.

      (I mean, -I- wouldn't want to feel obligated to go, but I haven't sucked the teat of the Democratic machine to get where I am, which admittedly isn't anywhere…)

    • bobbert

      This is also mostly misleading bullshit. She was elected to the Senate in 2006 (no national convention to not go to).

      She lost the race for Gov in 2004, so that's exactly one year she might have decided not to go.

      The only other year she was running for legislative office at he same time as a national convention was in 1984, when she was re-elected to the Missouri legislature.

      "Generally speaking, Claire is blowing this out her ass".

  • prommie

    Poor Newell, always bringing up this inside-politics-inside-the-beltway stuff, he doesn't realize that Wonkette has moved on, its no longer about Wednesday night takedowns by insufferable southern staffers or gay days at the beach or who is taking it in the ass from their boss. Wonkette is now the blog of Rielle Hunter-The View recaps, and the shocking breaking news that Henry Ford was an anti-semite!

    • Negropolis

      Oh god, the drama. Where is your fainting couch?

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyRadio

        At least prommie's is "constructive drama"*. The fainting couch belongs to the constructors of drama.

        *constructive criticism, if you will.

        • Negropolis

          And, who are the "constructors of the drama" here at Wonkette that would warrant such a petty whine?

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyRadio

            N, you are as sharp as anyone. I duh-n't think I need to elaborate further, do I?

  • Boojum

    Does commie orgy mean, literally, orgy with Commiegirl?

    (You can see how I missed the political implications to focus on the important part).

  • prommie

    But what about kickball? We want to hear about kickball stories and where is everyone brunching these days, and is there a lobbiest around here I can ask some questions?

  • BaldarTCrabass

    On a personal level, I don't blame them. I don't like being told I have to attend mandatory Commander's Calls or meetings and such. In fact, I do everything within my power to avoid such things.

    Solidarity, Rej.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

    Everybody's asses are just covered with crabs today, for some reason.

    • prommie

      Must I remind you that as a hater, I am required to hate?

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Tyrannically_Joe

    I really can't blame them. The only way I'd ever go to a convention in the South is if it had scantily clad cosplay babes.

    • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

      I can arrange some Furries, would that make you happy? I have connections; I'm involved with dry cleaning.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Where's Harry Truman now that we need him?

  • ttommyunger

    Claire McCaskill, so much promised, so little delivered. The curse of American Politics.

    • PubOption

      Even so, Crossroads GPS is running an enormous number of negative ads targeting her.

      • ttommyunger

        That only tells me she refuses, so far, to toss Karl's salad.

    • Negropolis

      I didn't ever expect much of her, so she doesn't disappoint me. As far as I was concerned, she was just there to keep a senate seat in swing state territory.

      • ttommyunger

        …and there is something to be said for that, I agree.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Missouri just elected Roy fucking Blunt as a senator in 2010, who is the double-whammy of being both corrupt as hell and panders to wingnuts.

    In 2006, a huge year for Democrats, McCaskill only barely won, and her opponent even had George W. Bush campaigning for him.

    We elected a Democrat governor in 2008, who has spent his entire career pissing off liberals in the party and has taken no positions on anything…and maybe confused a few Republicans who liked that he was named "Nixon."

    She's toast.

    • freddymcmurray

      No kidding. Last prez election, even fucking Indiana went to Obama, but not Mizzurah. They also gave us those shit heads Ashcroft and Limbaugh(plural). That state is fucked.

      • CivicHoliday

        My real fear is when we decide to start taking our most whack-job congressmen (a la Todd Akin) and moving them to the senate, where they can chair the most important committees and generally fuck up life for the rest of the nation.

    • Negropolis

      You would think knowing that Missouri is trending away from the Dems, she'd at least go down fighting on principle. But, that's too much for the Dems.

  • sullivanst

    The one thing in common between all those names: massive disappointment.

  • TribecaMike

    Betcha a three dollar bill half of them show up for the lobbyist parties anyway.

  • glamourdammerung

    I see she is taking a page from the Blanche Lincoln playbook. Insult your supporters and wonder why they do not care if you lose.

    • HarryButtle

      Not just wonder why they do not care, she'll angrily accuse those who do not care of abandoning HER.

      Claire's like, "Hey, we're all Dems, right? So let's stick together!" Except when she's got to show up at, oh, the Democratic National Convention or something, and then it's just inconvenient and so she won't show up.

  • Negropolis

    Only Dems run away from the party, and sometimes actually awarded for doing so. Bye-bye, Claire Bear. Now, you and your husband can go spend more time with your money…errr…family.

    Now, I know Claire didn't just come out an announced this – I believe she was aksed about it – but for the other Dems, if you don't want to go to the convention, how about just not going? Why do you have to be a dick and announce it?

  • Negropolis

    These people; these fuckin' people. Can't live with 'em, can't…live with them. Really, you can't. They'd have denied Jesus thrice before the crowing of the cock, and ran to point out Anne in the attic, if even only for a chance to hold unto their Senate grift.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    She does understand that she's going to lose either way, right? Why go down as a wimp.