A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE  1:40 pm June 25, 2012

Iowa Congressman Cannot Even Breathe, He Is Laughing So Hard About Doing Violence To Nuns

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Now smash them in the temple! HA HA!What is the funniest joke you heard today? Did it have dicks in it? It probably had dicks in it. What is the best joke Iowa congressman Tom Latham has heard lately?

“There’s a bus-ful of nuns headed toward Washington to lobby againt the Ryan Plan. Could you, do you have any power to pull the bus full of nuns over and pistol-whip them?” When he finished hearing the radio-show host telling this great joke, Latham laughed so hard great gobs of emphysema flew from his lungs, that is how hard he laughed! Chortle chortle wheeze wheeze [he died].

That is such a funny joke! Did Adam Carolla tell it to him?

You know what we at Wonkette remember so fondly? When Catholic nuns in Central America were shoved from airplanes to their deaths, and also raped and murdered a bunch. (It was cool though, our ambassador to the UN, Jeane Kirkpatrick, said they weren’t “just nuns” but were also leftists.) That is why it is particularly hilarious when people threaten to do violence to the Brides of Christ for loving poors too much. It’s funny because they’re uppity bitches!

[ThinkProgress]

 
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{ 172 comments }

nounverb911 June 25, 2012 at 1:43 pm

God's gonna get you for that!

Antispandex June 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Um, maybe not. After all, the Teapublicans DO agree with the nuns on abortion. So, just beating or raping someone when they disagree with you may be OK?

actor212 June 25, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Oh, gee, that's nice. It's too bad we have posting rules and such, or I might suggest clever ways we could put a bunch of dicks in the skull of THIS joke of a Congresscritter.

rmjagg June 25, 2012 at 4:48 pm

avant guard dick sculptures rendered in cement with rebars

ElPinche June 25, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I hope Sally Field kicks him in the cunt.

rmjagg June 25, 2012 at 4:50 pm

in his cunt/mouf

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Are you suggesting that she hates him, right now, she really hates him?

nounverb911 June 25, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Breibart's saving a seat for Latham down below.

weejee June 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm

As one of the Brides of Lucifer?

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 9:00 pm

"Breibart's saving a seat for Latham down below."

And by "saving a seat for Latham", we mean, "saving HIS seat for Latham", and by "down below", we mean, "Breitbart sucks cocks in Hell".

Giveusabob June 25, 2012 at 1:44 pm

In my mind's eye I see Congressman Latham being rapped on the knuckles with a ruler by Mother Superior. Really hard, like reconstructive surgery hard.

rmjagg June 25, 2012 at 4:52 pm

!being rapped on the knuckles , and rapped on the scrotum , reconstructive surgery hard …

Negropolis June 26, 2012 at 3:16 am

Oh God, I read that as "raped on the knuckles with a ruler by Mother Superior."

freakishlywrong June 25, 2012 at 1:44 pm

So much for "Religious Freedom". It's only freedom if it curtails someone's rights with whom you do not agree.

RedneckMuslin June 25, 2012 at 2:11 pm

That's the definition of religious freedumb, isn't it?

anniegetyerfun June 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm

We've already established that these Catholic "women" spend too much time trying to help the downtrodden and not enough time trying to prevent the gays from marrying. Pistol-whipping is probably the best they can hope for.

(for the record, Interrupting Cow is still my favorite joke)

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 25, 2012 at 1:46 pm

(for the record, Interrupting Cow is still my favo–

MOO

scvirginia June 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Would you settle for a mad cow joke?

Two cows are in the meadow, grazing, when one cow turns to the other & asks, "Do you ever worry about getting Mad Cow?" The other cow replied, "No, why should I worry?- I'm a duck…"

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I heard it as, "Why should I worry? I'm a helicopter."

scvirginia June 25, 2012 at 10:32 pm

That works. Ducks & helicopters are both pretty funny.

SorosBot June 25, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Now, be fair; the Church isn't just angry that they don't spend enough time to prevent gays from marrying, but also because they're not spending enough time telling other women not to fuck, and forcing them to have babies if they do.

MissTaken June 25, 2012 at 2:25 pm

baby MOOOOOO!

SorosBot June 25, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Hee; and aw cute.

Lascauxcaveman June 25, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Oh, interrupting cow is a classic. I tell that one to every 4-year-old I meet, and love the amazed look in their eyes as they absorb the concept of meta humor.

anniegetyerfun June 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm

The first time I tried to tell it to my husband, he was so fast in responding that I missed my cue and had to have him repeat the process, and then ended up laughing so hard that I ended up drooling. I still don't think he GETS it, and who can blame him?

Lascauxcaveman June 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm

LOL, I was going to add on to my comment that the 4-year-olds invariably screw it up when re-telling it, by not coming in with the "moo" quickly enough. So you're in good company.

anniegetyerfun June 25, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Yup! Me, and small people who eat paste.

Will Stab For Food June 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I like the muffins in an oven joke.

Muffin 1 – Damn, it's hot in here.
Muffin 2 – Holy crap! A talking muffin!!

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 6:19 pm

ZOMG, DbB!! What have you DONE to yourself?

Will Stab For Food June 26, 2012 at 12:02 am

??

MittBorg June 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

You used to be a charming little DashboardBuddha. Now you're a stabby little bobblehead. (sniff!)

freakishlywrong June 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Oh, and the war against women is a "Democrat myth".

nounverb911 June 25, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Needs more metal ruler broken knuckles.

weejee June 25, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Hey, that's why I'm blessed to write right handed. I slowly discovered the pain in my left hand went away if I picked-up the crayon with my right.

DerrickWildcat June 25, 2012 at 1:47 pm

You can not tell jokes in heaven.

ibwilliamsi June 25, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Are you kidding? God's laughing ALL DAY LONG at this shit.

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Anyplace you can't tell jokes is by definition Hell.
Except that game we used to play as kids, "Chinese School" — and even there, you were allowed to *tell* jokes, you just weren't aloud to *laugh* at them.

Estproph June 25, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Do you know what the best thing about a dead nun is?

She's dead! HAHAHAHA!

How do you kill a nun?

Frequently! HAHAHAHA!

So a nun walks into a bar SHUT UP ITS A NUN KILL IT! HAHAHAHA!

These people suck.

Pat_Pending June 25, 2012 at 3:22 pm

so basically, just recycle all those HI-larious old lawyer jokes as nun jokes…

OkieDokieDog June 25, 2012 at 1:47 pm

I can't wait for Cardinal Timothy Dolan to renounce this implied violence towards nuns.

I'm not holding my breath though.

nounverb911 June 25, 2012 at 1:49 pm

How about implied violence towards pedophile priests?

Tyrannically_Joe June 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

What is the funniest joke you heard today? Did it have dicks in it? It probably had dicks in it.

You know us so well.

nounverb911 June 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm

How many Dick Cheney's does it take to shoot a lawyer in the face?

Extemporanus June 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

What's black and white and red all over?

[EDIT: That really loses something when read.]

LesBontemps June 25, 2012 at 1:54 pm

A nun with ebola?

actor212 June 25, 2012 at 1:57 pm

You know what else was red, and black and white all over?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 25, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Bad anal sex?

Baconzgood June 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

12 years of Catholic school has taught me at least 1 thing: Do not fuck with nuns. They are mean as hell.

nounverb911 June 25, 2012 at 1:57 pm

My fifth grade public school teacher taught Catechism on the side, she was just as scary.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Catholic pedophile priest who are against health care: We must defend our religious freedoms!

Catholic nuns who help the poor like Jesus taught and support healthcare? Must be stopped and beaten.

Thank you, today's GOP!

nounverb911 June 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Needs much less Iowa.

SorosBot June 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

There's a douchebag from Iowa headed towards Washington today to vote for the Ryan plan. Could you, do you have any power to pull the private jet over and kick him hard in the nuts?

HAHAHHAHHAHAHA!!

prommie June 25, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Couch fort, need couch fort, just ugly, the world is just too fucking mean and nasty and just fucking ugly hateful and I cannot stand it and I do not want to participate! I do not want to engage with this world, this society, and the vast majority of the ignorant pigfuckers all around me. I do not want to do this shit anymore, I do not want to legitimize the criminality by even engaging in the rigged game. Its fucking leonard cohen time:

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died

Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long stem rose
Everybody knows

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Uh, I think you guys broke prommie.

FakaktaSouth June 25, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Nah, this is just how he gets pumped up to go volunteer at the orphanage. He'll be all right.

prommie June 25, 2012 at 2:32 pm

You know darned well that I volunteer at the home for wayward girls.

FakaktaSouth June 25, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I swear, with all that I have, on your miserable pathetic soul, that was exactly what I was going to say, but God and I both know you'd be MUCH more Clash and less Leonard Cohen for that one.

MissTaken June 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm

*hugs*

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 2:09 pm

What ^^ she said, Prommie.

freakishlywrong June 25, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Quick prommie! Out to the desert, off the grid, find Layne and spend a week with him. We'll wait.

prommie June 25, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Thats whats wrong, I have been off the grid, for the last week, and its my first day back to work, to news, to living the life I hate after 8 days out on the ocean alone. God I hate it, the lie I live pretending to believe in this fucking empty mortgage-paying, wage-slaving constantly running after illusionary goals slow-death of a life.

Blueb4sunrise June 25, 2012 at 2:17 pm

C'mon prommie moonbeam. snap out of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYrySQsMjdE&fe

prommie June 25, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Very nice, thank you.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 25, 2012 at 2:21 pm

That's why god gave us alcohol!

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Get out of it, then. Srsly. Figure out how you can live without it all, sell whatever you need to, pare wherever you can, and get the FUCK OUT. While you can still enjoy your life. Reading an article about a palliative care nurse, and she said the single most oft-voiced complaint of the dying was "I wish I hadn't worked so hard." Paraphrased, doubtless inadequately, but as someone who spent way too much time working, it ain't worth it.

FakaktaSouth June 25, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Have I told you lately that I love you? I do – you are such a good soul.

prommie June 25, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I'm gonna. I can't not.

Butch_Wagstaff June 25, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I wish I could get 5-year period back when I was working my ass off to pay for shit I didn't need and trying to keep myself in a certain social circle that I felt like I needed to be a part of (I was *young*). What did I really get for it? A near breakdown.
I sold all the shit. I sold all the clothes. Quit the job (this was long before the 2008 crash). Got a smaller apartment. Got a job at a non-profit whose mission I believed in. The pay wasn't good but I no longer dreaded having to show up feeling like I needed to put in almost 60 hrs. a week. I downsized everything in my life & haven't regretted it since.

Goonemeritus June 25, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Yeah for Lenard Cohen and boo for giving up. Try to remember the arc of history is toward more social justice and less acceptance of violence in all forms. Just try to remember that history will judge these “pigfuckers” were—- well “pigfuckers”

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Two word: Michael Bell.

ProgressiveInga June 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here"……

I have 'Jenny from Forrest Gump' moments, too, Prommie. That's why buddha invented the wonketteers.♡

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:46 pm

You too are in Ga? That makes, what, three of us?

weejee June 25, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Hallelujah.

LagunaB June 25, 2012 at 5:37 pm

It sounds like your body is using up every molecule of serotonin that is produced. Serotonin gives you a mental cushion so that you don't crash onto concrete when bad things occur. Ask your doctor about selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRI). Otherwise know as anti-depressants. It helps you to learn how to deal with events. You can get up in the morning without it being so difficult.

prommie June 26, 2012 at 10:30 am

Shit man this is with 10 mg of lexapro a day, and a pint of gin.

faster_kittycat June 26, 2012 at 11:28 am

Many hugs to you, prommie. And a suggestion for an SNRI such as Effexor or Cymbalta if the SSRI isn't quite doing it. (Just don't skip a dose, as the withdrawal side effects are pretty funky.) It helped tons when I switched to Effexor from an SSRI — like someone opened the curtains.

prommie June 26, 2012 at 12:09 pm

But hell, I ain't depressed, its that the world really is just a big pile of evil shit and my life has no meaning or purpose, cosmically speaking. Like, whats pathological about those truths?

radio-of-owls June 26, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Or snort more coke. Just an idea. OK, a BAD idea.

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Everybody had a hard year,
Everybody had a good time,
Everybody pulled their socks up,
Everybody saw the sunshine,
Oh yeah.

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Maybe it should be "pulled their sock on" if you know what I mean and I think you do.

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Punch some pillows, then come back here and collect yr hugs.

Crank_Tango June 25, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Well of course they deserve to be pistol-whipped, because they are women. If they were rapey priests, then that's OK because the catholic church, something something santorum, sweater vest.

Not_So_Much June 25, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I thought it was only funny if you immolated them as well? Iowa is really behind the times for douche-on-nun violence.

mavenmaven June 25, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Oh, pistol whipping liberal nuns, that's funny, just don't say anything about Tr**g

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 25, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I don't know. The joke was funny, but not really "Ha Ha" funny.

Blueb4sunrise June 25, 2012 at 1:51 pm

" A good start."

BaldarTFlagass June 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm

"What is the funniest joke you heard today? Did it have dicks in it? It probably had dicks in it. "

Well, this story sure has a couple dicks in it.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Why don't these bitches STFU and just molest kids like their male colleagues?

Fairtackle June 25, 2012 at 2:01 pm

The way Jesus wanted.

Maman June 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Every once in a while I try to imagine what these assholes would do to Jesus if he returned to earth. What's the modern version of crucifixion?

anniegetyerfun June 25, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Bet it involves pistols!

Katydid June 25, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Watching Fox News?

scvirginia June 25, 2012 at 2:04 pm

And ONLY Fox News…

actor212 June 25, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Waterboarding?

SorosBot June 25, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Don't be so cynical; I mean just look at how well the assholes treated the likes of Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Gandhi, and John Lennon.

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Hmm … they all seem to have … died a little early.

Barrelhse June 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Only the good die young. Look at DICK Cheney- still kickin'.

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Indeed. The kicking, I don't mind so much. It's the yawping I really resent. I wish he'd just shut his fucking piehole and leave the rest of us forget that he's still breathing.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 26, 2012 at 3:30 am

Stalin could shoot people in the face as well.

Butch_Wagstaff June 25, 2012 at 6:06 pm

They had it comin' with all that talk about how maybe people should be nicer to each other.

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Thanks. I needed that dose of perspective. Those dumbass motherfuckin' Republicans would flay 'em alive by inches if they could get their hands on any of these fine people today. I hate that they are so hateful that they derail me from the life of peace and calm and positive energy that I strive so hard to maintain.

Guppy June 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Extraordinary rendition.

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Extraordinarily high-temperature rendering.

AbandonHope June 25, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Why go modern? These idiots want to live in the Dark Ages, let them be crucified appropriately.

Will Stab For Food June 25, 2012 at 3:05 pm

What's the modern version of crucifixion?

Dancing with the Stars

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 9:15 pm

"What's the modern version of crucifixion?"

All the jewelry stores could sell gold chains with, instead of crosses, tiny electric chair pendants.

Negropolis June 26, 2012 at 3:21 am

Lethal injection, or shooting squad if you're in Utah.

SayItWithWookies June 25, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Liberation theology was about the only redeeming feature of the Catholic Church, and the last two popes have attempted to ruthlessly eliminate it. With the help of the Republican party and American yokel misogyny, they might just succeed.

FakaktaSouth June 25, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Hey now, it is not about what you believe, it is about saying you believe a thing to get other horrible things done – once these bitches start trying to actually make people behave in a Christ like manner, well, beat the shit out of them.

Beating people over the head with your Bible is a real thing, you know.

BelleSC June 25, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I swear to you this is true:

I ran into a woman I used to work with. We were at jury duty so we were spending a LOT of time waiting to be selected and talking among ourselves.

She told me that she was saving her money to buy an iPad. She said that her pastor in her church uses one. She was so impressed that he could instantly refer to whatever scriptural passage he wished to.

She went on to say however it just would not have the same effect as thwacking someone on the head with a Bible while saying, "Jesus."

I wish you could have been there.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 25, 2012 at 1:54 pm

High time to again invoke Bill Hicks:

"Pro-lifers murdering doctors. Pro-lifers murdering people."

littlebigdaddy June 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Needs moar Jake and Elwood kicking Latham's ass.

Dumbedup June 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Pistol Whipping Nuns? Kinda funny, granted. Hey, you know what would be really funny? If Ann Romneys dancing horse dumps her and breaks her neck!! Or if Dana Loesch is gang raped by some escaped mexican criminals! What a hoot!

rmjagg June 25, 2012 at 4:59 pm

or if pam gellar had open season declared on her re anything concerning human waste …

Come here a minute June 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm

What's the best thing about pistol whipping 24 nuns? Fucking the four year old bus driver!

Goonemeritus June 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Is it any wonder that fewer and fewer young women chose this life. I know if I were a woman a holy order would be way preferable to shoving babies out of my naughty parts.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Thankfully now we have option three, not do either. Until the wingnutz get their way and fuck it all up again.

rickmaci June 25, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Probably got the idea from Pope Goebbels.

ProgressiveInga June 25, 2012 at 1:58 pm

"They're the ones that threw the first punch"
Yeah, those badass honey-badger nuns pack a vicious left hook, you illiterate bastard.

actor212 June 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Hey now! Sister Mary Tyson??

ProgressiveInga June 25, 2012 at 2:05 pm

She will stone cold bite a bitch!

Negropolis June 26, 2012 at 3:23 am

And she'll eat your children. Oh, my bad, those were the priests…

BaldarTFlagass June 25, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Chortle chortle wheeze wheeze [he died].

Oh, a happy ending!

Allmighty_Manos June 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I eagerly await a statement from the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Catholic League denouncing Rep. Laham for anti-Catholic bigotry…..

Hello is anybody there?

CrankyLttlCamperette June 25, 2012 at 5:07 pm

The Catholic League, who finds anti-Catholic bigorty in everything is being very quiet…hmmm…I wonder why…

fuflans June 25, 2012 at 2:01 pm

needs more heads on pikes.

MissTaken June 25, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I thought nuns could fly to avoid the pistol-whipping?

ibwilliamsi June 25, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Nope. New TSA rules.

Chichikovovich June 25, 2012 at 2:05 pm

(It was cool though, our ambassador to the UN, Jeane Kirkpatrick, said they weren’t “just nuns” but were also leftists.)

Ah, yes, Jeane Kirkpatrick. More fanatical even than Reagan on the subject of killing Latin Americans who opposed blood-soaked military dictatorships. I once read a description she wrote of the manly Argentine junta, all resplendent in their uniforms, which was as charged with erotic tension for power as a pulp tale of vampire seduction. So sad for Ms. Ambassador that her lust objects crossed swords with Reagan's dominatrix Margaret Thatcher over the Falklands/Malvinas: Kirkpatrick argued for supporting the generals, but there was no doubt who had Ronnie in her thrall.

[And on the subject, credit to Thatcher. Despite her many vices, her stubborn refusal to back down led directly to the downfall of that conspiracy of monsters.]

[Pedantic correction - the nuns were thrown from planes in South, not Central America]

[Edit: Oh, and I forgot to add: During the period that the Junta was "disappearing" thousands of people, torturing them and throwing them from planes, taking the babies from pregnant women and giving them to childless army couples for adoption while killing the mothers, torturing and then killing a Swedish visiting student who had been arrested by mistake, etc. , the Catholic Church was actively supporting the Junta, occasionally to the point of active collaboration.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/17/world/americas/...
http://articles.latimes.com/1995-07-04/news/mn-20...
http://www.opendemocracy.net/democracy-protest/ca... ]

weejee June 25, 2012 at 2:30 pm

the Catholic Church was actively supporting the Junta

Bugger all. (that's English for Corpus Christi)

Chichikovovich June 25, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Edit II: I should add that I'm talking about the Church as an institution, and the top players in the Argentine Church hierarchy. Many individual priests and nuns behaved with great courage in opposition, and some were killed as a result, as with the two French nuns referred to in Rebecca's post.

MissTaken June 25, 2012 at 2:05 pm

“There’s a bus-ful of nuns headed toward Washington to lobby againt the Ryan Plan. Could you, do you have any power to pull the bus full of nuns over and pistol-whip them?”

Haha! That's knee-slappin' funny right there! Nothing says *funny* like beating the crap of womenz! Ha!

bikerlaureate June 25, 2012 at 3:26 pm

If they'd just shut up and behave when men told 'em to, the jokesters could get back to makin' funnies about the ghez or the blahs.

ibwilliamsi June 25, 2012 at 2:06 pm

To be fair, Latham has only seen nuns on Father Ted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD-fPb87mVA

viennawoods13 June 25, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I've always liked the lingerie great escape. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beN7FftWNCM

Larry McAwful June 25, 2012 at 2:08 pm

If there's a War on Poverty, you gotta take sides. Obviously since these nuns were on the side that Rep. Latham is at war with, he's got to take joy at the thought of hurting them. It will help him win one for the poverty side!

owhatever June 25, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Slightly OT: If traditional marriage is between one man and one woman, how come Christ has so many brides and nobody complains? Also, if I'm God and somebody tries to pistol-whip my girls, I'll be angry, and he wouldn't want to see me angry.

Antispandex June 25, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"…our ambassador to the UN, Jeane Kirkpatrick, said they weren’t “just nuns” but were also leftists.) …"

Well…OK then.

anniegetyerfun June 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

It makes it OK, don't you see?

Fuck, I seriously hate people who opine about the Reagan years. I was too young to be aware of what was going on at the time, but the more I read about it (as we did not read about it in high school because, you know, learnin'), the more repulsed I am by how our country has behaved for so many decades.

BaldarTFlagass June 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Lemme guess what's next—if the pistol whipping doesn't convince them, then you jam the barrel of the pistol up the nun's cooch and fire away? Is that how they taught it down there at the School of the Americas at Fort Benning?

qwerty42 June 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I'm sure these comments go over well in the right-wing kook areas this guy hangs out in. I have a hard time believing most Iowans will care for it though.

ibwilliamsi June 25, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Most Iowans are too busy picking up their corn subsidy checks to notice.

Barrelhse June 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Bless their hearts.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 25, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Shorter version of this joke: pistol whipping womenz!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Chortle chortle wheeze wheeze [he died].

James Michael Curley June 25, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Always wanted Diana Rigg to combine her Emma Peel with The House of Brede and become'The Avenging Nun!" Would have shut this loud mouth up Bnedictine style.

Estproph June 25, 2012 at 2:16 pm

The article continues: "Latham is currently submitting a bill before the House to make it mandatory that all citizens daily beat a puppy to death."

Callyson June 25, 2012 at 2:17 pm

But it's the *Democrats* who have declared war on religion.

pdiddycornchips June 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm

My favorite joke:

What's the only meat a priest can eat on Friday's?

answer: nun

James Michael Curley June 25, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Class…claaaass…CLAAAAAAASS… WAKE UUUUUUUPPPPPPP!

barto June 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm

God, if I hear one more pistol whipping nuns joke I'm gonna pistol whip a nun. Christ, now I'm doing it…

Sassomatic June 25, 2012 at 3:05 pm

How dare those nuns lobby our congress?! Lobbying is for weasley bankers and oil companies.

crybabyboehner June 25, 2012 at 3:15 pm

This guy's no dummy, he read "A Flag for Sunrise" and he knows nuns are commies.

a_pink_poodle June 25, 2012 at 5:24 pm

You liberals are so offended by such trivial things. Germany and Japan shot nuns all the time during WW2 and they didn't get offended!

Butch_Wagstaff June 25, 2012 at 6:13 pm

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
Ya pistol whip her!
Hardy-har-har!

kingofmeh June 25, 2012 at 8:55 pm

who wants to bet that the fulminating accusations of anti-catholicism arising when people complain about the catholic church hiding priests who molest childre or condemning gay marriage bills and nondiscrimination laws and reproductive freedom bills, somehow fail to appear when this guy jokes about pistol-whipping nuns?

tessiee June 25, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Not only was the "joke", such as it was, loathsome; but if the man had a brain in his head, he would have riffed on "Blazing Saddles":
"Somebody go back and get a shitload of rulers!"

Doktor Zoom June 25, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Maybe he thought they were the nuns from that video game ad? (Link is to a discussion of the misogyny in the ad, not the ad itself)

valthemus June 26, 2012 at 2:15 am

Nuns who pistol-whip congressmen… Now *THAT'S* comedy!

Negropolis June 26, 2012 at 3:26 am

You know, I totally thought when they were talking about a bus full of nuns, they were going to go the direction of forcing them off the road. But, no, no, their twisted minds went right to the most violent thing they could think of that actually happens. Isn't it scary how directly the dude's mind went to pistol-whipping? You know, as if he'd done it before…?

faster_kittycat June 26, 2012 at 11:32 am

Words fail. Nuns are among the most vulnerable of women, when you think about it. No property, no money. Everything they have is from charity. Fuck him.

ttommyunger June 26, 2012 at 3:47 pm

This disgusting report alone confirms everything I've been saying about what passes for "humor" among Rightards.

prommie June 25, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I can no longer shop happily. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-1Ihwt48EM

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Dear lady, I love you too, most fervently. And thank you.

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Good on ya. When it comes down to it, you really don't *need* most of the stuff in your life. Get out while you can, and be happy, dude. That's more important than any ego contests or trophies or munniez.

MittBorg June 25, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Good on ya. I once worked for a company that wrote financial software and considered you a "slacker" if you didn't come in one weekend out of every two after working all day Monday to Friday from nine till nearly midnight, most days. Telling them to stick that job where the sun don't shine was one of my happier moments.

Butch_Wagstaff June 25, 2012 at 8:03 pm

It's always been such a dangerous idea, hasn't it? You keep yappin' on about it and there are any number of things that can happen to ya:
Get burned alive.
Nailed to a coupla pieces of wood.
Shot.
Locked up in prison.

The best you can hope for is ridicule and/or being forced out of the country/village/church.
Why, you'd start to think that some people really have a problem with the idea of being a decent human being.

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Ha! I work for myself and STILL worked all weekend and yesterday got up at 3:00 am and today got up at 2 am and just now stopped working tonight.

But I like what I do, so there's that. But less would be good.

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 10:48 pm

True. Recognizing the world sucks (when it does) and having a sad is not pathological. But who says pathology is a precondition to taking drugs?

MittBorg June 26, 2012 at 10:49 pm

When I loved doing what I was doing, I thought nothing of showing up to work in the early am and pulling all-nighters one after another. Once I fell out of love, though, all the money in the world was a poor substitute. Kudos on having found something you like with such a passion.

radio-of-owls June 26, 2012 at 11:04 pm

But I like what I do, so there's that. But less would be good.

And that makes all the difference, amigo, all the difference in the world. This afternoon I spent nearly three hours talking to an undergrad of mine about where her life is/should be/could be heading. The advice really boiled down to two words: seek happiness.

Limeylizzie June 27, 2012 at 12:05 pm

So, when are you and I going to run away together in search of this supposed "happiness"?

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