ALLAHU AKBAR AND STUFF  10:15 am June 26, 2012

Fox News Mixing Up All Its Scary Muslims

by Lisa Wines

They all look alike.Egypt democratically elected her first president yesterday, Mohamed Morsi, a former member of the Muslim Brotherhood’s Guidance Office and president of their Freedom and Justice Party. We say former because as soon as his election was announced, as he promised, he resigned from both of these positions in order to convince secularists and Christians that he will serve ALL of Egypt, not just his MB pals. Egyptians still wait for him to ban all alcohol, close all the bars and make all the women wear veils. Nervous jokes on Twitter included some guy’s hash dealer telling him to stock up on smoke since that may be all he can get for a while.

So, while there is some legitimate apprehension in Egypt right now about Morsi, some think that it will be easier to get rid of an Islamic president (ruled by the military who hates him), than it would be to get rid of the other candidate from the old regime, Hosni Mubarak’s last Prime Minister, Ahmed Shafiq (ruled by the military who loves him). Because, you see, it’s actually the military that runs Egypt right now, so the president, no matter who he is, has limited power.

But in America, some people’s kids don’t pay attention to these pesky details and instead, the Islamic fear mongering has begun. Leave it to Fox News to post an article just after the election to terrorize all their immensely intelligent followers with a video supposedly showing Morsi. The problem with this video is, well, it wasn’t Mohamed Morsi shouting at scary crowds of soon-to-be terrorists who will run from the speech and immediately invade Israel and America. It was a fiery preacher named Safwat al-Hegazy, giving a let’s-steal-back-Jerusalem speech in support of Morsi a few weeks ago, from whom Morsi later distanced himself, saying, “Jerusalem is in our hearts and vision. But Cairo is Egypt’s capital.” (We think he may have wanted to do a little more distancing than that, but what do we know about “banish the sleep from the eyes of all Jews” and “you are all Hamas!”?)

Quirky clerics. We’re probably just lucky Fox didn’t put a (D) after his name!

Anyhoo, the video begins with bold yellow introductory text on a foreboding black background declaring, boldly,

“Rabbilive.com introduces Egypt’s newly elected president, as declared by the Muslim Brotherhood, Mohamed Morsi, Israel’s new neighbor.”

As the text fades before the terrifying images begin, the sounds of shouted Arabic and cheering jihadists thunder out of your poor computer’s speakers like the jack-booted speechifying of an all-too-familiar former German chancellor (he who shant be named but everyone who’s anybody already knows it’s Voldemort. Duh.).

And who supplied this video? Why, Breitbart’s ghost, of course (the Fox news article has a link under it, “See the video at breitbart.com” but the page is strangely missing now), in collusion with David Nesenoff of Rabbilive.com. You might remember David as the guy who helped Helen Thomas leave her job, appears on Fox News and CNN’s “Reliable Sources” (?) and according to his Wikipedia profile, “is uncertain whether he will continue to be a liberal and a Democrat.” (?) To be fair, he also did some nice anti-hate things, which was nice of him.

The problem? There’s no freaking problem. Just that Fox’s article has been shared on Facebook 14,000 times. Here, I know you’re anxious to watch this so you can share it too. Enjoy.

 
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{ 93 comments }

banana_bread June 26, 2012 at 10:17 am

Silly Wonkette, Muslims are like Legos. They're interchangeable and hurt when you step on them barefoot.

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:29 am

And in a pinch can be used as checkers.

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 11:15 am

Which would be a nice change from being used as pawns…

AbandonHope June 26, 2012 at 11:49 am

And you can never seem to find that exact Muslim you need, no matter how deep in the giant bin you dig.

Okay, I'm not sure this analogy is working any more.

Barb June 26, 2012 at 10:21 am

I wonder if this has been put on the Reagan Coalition website yet? I was reading their site last night and a post about Obama being a "draft dodger" was shared thousands of times on Facebook.

I am the same age as Obama and people I went to high school with shared the news that Obama was a draft dodger. Not one of them got drafted, nor dodged the draft. Gosh, I wonder why.

James Michael Curley June 26, 2012 at 10:26 am

Because there was no draft? Thinking for Reaganites is hard.

Barb June 26, 2012 at 10:34 am

Bingo! James, we have a winner, thanks!

Chet Kincaid June 26, 2012 at 10:41 am

And I'm sure some percentage of them voted for Bill Clinton, who was a draft dodger.

Doktor Zoom June 26, 2012 at 10:56 am

So, based on the 3 minutes of googling I did before badly-formatted websites gave me seizures, I guess the claim is that Obama's Selective Service registration form, like every other document about the Mysterious Enigma in the White House, is forged. You know, the little card people have to sign in order to be in pro forma compliance with what little draft law we actually do have. I didn't have the stomach to pursue the paranoid ranting further. (Typical illustration: photo of Obama with "Who IS this man???" in red Comic Sans…)

EDIT: Oh, what the hell; here's a semi-coherent example: http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborho

coolhandnuke June 26, 2012 at 10:28 am

Because Kenya did not have the draft until 1982.

Barb June 26, 2012 at 10:36 am

Good luck drafting a Kenyan. Have you ever seen those suckers run?

coolhandnuke June 26, 2012 at 10:43 am

It's the high altitude training. At sea-level they're easy to snare.

Boojum June 26, 2012 at 11:26 am

That's why you draft them, to cut down the wind resistance.

Negropolis June 27, 2012 at 2:50 am

WIN

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:30 am

Well, it was hard drafting third graders, in fairness to Obama.

The last lottery pulled my birthday #1. At first, I was terrified. Then a milisecond later, I remembered I was only seventeen. Obama is seven years younger than I.

thatsitfortheother1 June 26, 2012 at 10:41 am

You must be 58?

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:44 am

Ah, crap, he's only four years younger than me. Wishful thinking on my part.

thatsitfortheother1 June 26, 2012 at 10:48 am

I missed the draft by two years I think. That's how I spell relief.

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 11:00 am

The maths, they are hard. And I'm sure you can find an Obama BC that will prove he is 7 years younger…

weejee June 26, 2012 at 10:57 am

In the first lottery in 1969 my birthday came up 336, no way that I was going. Downside, I was a year back from Vietnam.

SorosBot June 26, 2012 at 10:33 am

Facepalm. Gah, how can people be this stupid. No one remembers that the Baby Boomers – you know, people who are now elderly – were the last group to face the draft?

MoeDeLawn June 26, 2012 at 10:39 am

I remember it every day. Drafted; served (i.e., got high) with incoming all-volunteer Army. Bad in soooo many ways…

lisawines June 26, 2012 at 10:47 am

Gah! I'm elderly! (Lisa looks in the mirror and says, Nah.)

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:53 am

I seen your picture. You ain't elderly. Hell , you ain't even "of a certain age". You've aged like a fine Wines.

lisawines June 26, 2012 at 11:03 am

Give me your paypal account and I'll send you munny for that fine compliment. :-)

not that Radio June 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

According to the "half your age plus 7" rule, you could be as old as 72 and we'd still be fine.

lisawines June 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Phew! And I had to look that up so I get to learn my 435th new thing for the day, thank you very much!

Chet Kincaid June 26, 2012 at 11:02 am

We're not all elderly, goddamnit! Boomer goes up to 1960 or 1964, depending on whose definition you go with, and those of us born in those years are not quite ready to be shot behind the barn, thank you.

Chichikovovich June 26, 2012 at 10:51 am

I thought you had to be a US citizen to be drafted.

not that Radio June 26, 2012 at 11:00 am

He lied about his age to avoid being drafted into the Mau Mau rebellion.

arihaya June 26, 2012 at 9:12 pm

As opposed to Mittens who bravely fought the Viet Cong in French countryside

Mittens Howell, III June 26, 2012 at 10:21 am

Mohamed Morsi (D)

anniegetyerfun June 26, 2012 at 10:46 am

Mohamed HUSSEIN Morbama

chascates June 26, 2012 at 10:22 am

We didn't have to worry about these sand people back when it was OK to bash coloredz and gayz. More than we do now, I meant.

James Michael Curley June 26, 2012 at 10:24 am

There actually was a Muslim guy in my High School Guidance Office. That was over forty years ago so all any body ever thought was WT? (We couldn't speak in the halls.)

Oblios_Cap June 26, 2012 at 10:24 am

Nervous jokes on Twitter included some guy’s hash dealer telling him to stock up on smoke since that may be all he can get for a while.

Buy, buy!

He's got a better financial advisor than I do!

Crank_Tango June 26, 2012 at 10:29 am

Sure beats gold!

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:33 am

Except maybe from Acapulco.

ChernobylSoup June 26, 2012 at 10:26 am

Image the fallout had Fox accidentally used a video of Yusuf Islam instead.

Dodged a bullet, I'd say.

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:28 am

"Peace Train," or GTFO

ManchuCandidate June 26, 2012 at 10:33 am

"Cats In the Cradle" is the signal for the Clash of Sivilizashuns.

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:40 am

Chapin was a Jooooooooooooooooo?

ManchuCandidate June 26, 2012 at 10:42 am

Ugh, I though Cat sang it as well. Not my day

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:53 am

It's an easy mistake to make. I get Stevens and Croce confused all the time.

SorosBot June 26, 2012 at 10:44 am

The last thing Fox wants is people getting on the Peace Train.

Doktor Zoom June 26, 2012 at 10:46 am

"I'm being followed by a big Muslim
Big Muslim, big Muslim…"

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:28 am

Leave it to Fox News to post an article just after the election to terrorize all their immensely intelligent followers with a video supposedly showing Morsi.

All none of them?

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 11:03 am

No harm, no foul. Can't insult their intelligence if they don't have any.

Chill_Bill June 26, 2012 at 10:28 am

The fucktards that follow Fox News still can't tell the difference between "Obama" and "Osama." Maybe Juan Williams can tell them which muslin is the scary one…

Doktor Zoom June 26, 2012 at 10:47 am

All of them, Katie.

Chill_Bill June 26, 2012 at 10:48 am

My point exactly.

mavenmaven June 26, 2012 at 10:28 am

I expect to see more Sikhs beat up in the USA again over this.

lisawines June 26, 2012 at 10:49 am

I went to upfist your comment and then got a sad and didn't do it. Too true.

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 11:07 am

Yes, they're starting with Nikki Haley: http://hrld.us/MPG90a

Chet Kincaid June 26, 2012 at 10:28 am

Fellow Libtards: The enemies of our oil companies are not necessarily our friends.

cheetojeebus June 26, 2012 at 10:29 am

If viewers wish to know the trouble with Fox news they have it in three words–Too Much Idiots.

Joshua Norton June 26, 2012 at 10:29 am

Two things to always remember:

1. If it's Fox, it's faux.
2. See #1.

ManchuCandidate June 26, 2012 at 10:31 am

Beard… check
Brown skin… check
Talks in squiggle jibber jabber… check
Subtitles for those Faux views who can actually read… check

What's the problem liebruls? They all look a like to the typical yahoo dingus Faux viewer anyway.

SorosBot June 26, 2012 at 10:31 am

It's almost as if Fox thinks their viewers are idiots who will happily eat whatever bullshit is shoveled at them.

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:32 am

Thus Amercia's obesity problem is explained. I blame Fox.

thatsitfortheother1 June 26, 2012 at 10:43 am

It's almost as if they're being played, or something.

prommie June 26, 2012 at 10:32 am

Hell, you can't blame them, muslims are even harder to tell apart than democrats and republicans, and whenever a republican gets arrested for wide-stancing, child-raping, wife-beating, or just plain old corruption, they always get that wrong and call him a democrat.

Gratuitous World June 26, 2012 at 10:34 am

this audience is really going to dislike Muslims now

randcoolcatdaddy June 26, 2012 at 10:34 am

Must be a slow news day. Obama, that other Muslin, hasn't done anything to pounce on this morning.

Doktor Zoom June 26, 2012 at 10:39 am

Tiny little distinctions like "whether something is a fact" do not matter. SOMEONE said all that stuff, after all, and they were Egyptian, so does it really matter whether Morsi is the one who said it?

Baconzgood June 26, 2012 at 10:39 am

To be fair, in FAUX NOOSE land all browinsh people look the same.

Chow Yun Flat June 26, 2012 at 10:40 am

Difficult to tell sometimes if Fox is being stupid, lazy or evil although the result is always the same: Muslims ares scary, Obama is scary, praise Jesus and hang on to your guns.

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 11:09 am

All of them, Katie!

Chet Kincaid June 26, 2012 at 12:24 pm

"Stupid, lazy and evil is no way to fill a programming schedule, Roger."
(16 years later)
"I stand corrected."

Sassomatic June 26, 2012 at 10:42 am

That guy Morsi is a crushing bore.

lisawines June 26, 2012 at 10:50 am

Yep. His speeches are a big snore, compared to the guy they say is him.

thatsitfortheother1 June 26, 2012 at 10:45 am

I've got a Muslin shirt that I'm now afraid to wear.

ElPinche June 26, 2012 at 10:46 am

Muslins, blacks, messicans, democrats, liberals, poor people, wimmins…same thing. But I hear they might split up NewsCorpse! Don't get your hopes up though . It's not weakening, it's multiplying like a virus.

prommie June 26, 2012 at 10:51 am

My new throwback first-wave punk band shall be called "The Second Amendment Solution."

scvirginia June 26, 2012 at 11:11 am

I'm calling mine "Phlegm Fatale".

prommie June 26, 2012 at 1:31 pm

My name shall be "Crusty Gymsock."

Oblios_Cap June 26, 2012 at 10:53 am

What's Kinky Freidman's take on all this?

Chet Kincaid June 26, 2012 at 10:55 am

So, the only thing holding back Egypt from full-scale retreat into the Dark Ages is the military? I guess their system works better than ours.

Chet Kincaid June 26, 2012 at 10:56 am

Morsi went on to say, "The moral arc of the Caliphate is long, but it bends toward FGM. Hold on, there's nothing to worry about in the near term!!"

Allmighty_Manos June 26, 2012 at 11:18 am

Fox could have run an old video of Ayatollah Khomeini, claiming he was the new president of Egypt and not one Fox viewer would have noticed the difference

gogogodzilla June 26, 2012 at 11:34 am

Derka derka, Mohammed Jihad. Haka sherpa-sherpa.

Redhead June 26, 2012 at 11:48 am

Well Faux News can't keep those pesky countries in that silly far away area straight, why should they keep the brown people who live there straight?

An_Outhouse June 26, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Is Faux not aware that Egyptian Muslin is 400 thread count.

Chet Kincaid June 26, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Is this the "Morsi" with that song, "Mubarak In A Coma"?

Gleem McShineys June 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began …
I was Moor before I even began

Muslifters of the world
Unite and take over

AlaskaGrrl June 26, 2012 at 12:41 pm

The guy's hash dealer sounds like he took a page from the NRA; "Stock up now 'cuz you know he's out to take away your high/guns…"

owhatever June 26, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Yea, Democracy! Hold it. The wrong guys won. Again. Military coup begins in 5-4…

ttommyunger June 26, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Morsi's biggest problem is going to be maintaining body heat above room temperature. The Ruling Military Council is not to be fucked with; way too much money involved, much of it from "US", as in US Taxpayers.

Negropolis June 27, 2012 at 2:33 am

No shit. We practically run the Supreme Council or whatever the fuck its called. We worship "stability" above all else until it becomes to untenable to do so.

ttommyunger June 27, 2012 at 7:18 am

Why doesn't Joe Fucktard ever wake up to this. It goes on decade after decade with our tax dollars and young men eaten up in the process in unthinkable numbers and yet when “they” decide to start beating the drums, the sheeple line up and get in step.

Negropolis June 27, 2012 at 2:32 am

I love how the American media totally doesn't know or care about the name of the party he ran with. It's always "Islamist" this and "Muslim Brotherhood" that. No one ever talks about the Christianist parties in Europe with the damned word right in the name of the party. That's not to say I'd vote for anything having to do with a political party so religious as the Freedom and Justice Party, but the double standard is sickening.

BTW, can we start calling Pat Roberston and Rick Warren "clerics", because that's what they are.

actor212 June 26, 2012 at 10:45 am

It's always hard finding weed on the weekends, what with all the stores downtown closed for lack of business.

prommie June 26, 2012 at 10:50 am

Dave's not here, man.

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