Not even sure what is going on here. Doocey is missing. Has he run off to join the circus? Gretchen is gone. Is she at Betty Ford? And we are left with only rapey-faced Brian Kilmeade Some Other Guy to spout the proper talking points about millionaires Going Galt and leaving the US over waaah high taxes? Brian Kilmeade can’t do it alone, guys! He needs his morning gang of pals for just the right chemistry (TNT). (UPDATE: That rapey-faced man isn’t Brian Kilmeade either! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH OUR FOX & FRIENDS???) And he is getting no help from the relief players either, like this lady, Alisyn Camerota, who says of the millionaires, “Are they just greedy?” because the country “allowed” said millionaires to get rich in the first place, with its infrastructure investments and government spending? And she wraps with “That does send the message that you care more about your money than you do about your country”? WE WILL HAVE NO MORE OF YOUR CLASS WARFARE, FOX & ‘FRIENDS’!

Won’t somebody bring Gretchen Carlson back so we can have our bracing morning pile of hatey eyes? Or did Kilmeade break her for ever this time? Let’s watch again, and ponder.

Yeah, Kilmeade probably broker her forever. Sorry Gretchen. You were too pure for this world. Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold. [MediaMatters]

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  • What about people who are broke and still want to leave this country? Are they we greedy traitors too?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I think they're called "the rest of us."

    • Yes. And I took all of my $4.38 with me. Take THAT, IRS!

      • sullivanst

        That's OK, I brought my £5.96 back from England. It's still on my nightstand, a crumpled fiver and some pointy coins.

        • Invest that in the right candidate and you'll see it grow like magic!

    • SorosBot

      The problem is, with Harper in Canada and Cameron in the UK, these days there don't seem to be any good places to flee to. Maybe it's time to start brushing up on our French…

      • I'm hearing Cambodia is the place… they speak French there, also too.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They're called Marines, Army, and National Guard, for the most part.

    • Terry

      Well, you also have the Mexicans who are going home.

    • Biff

      Depending on the outcome of the November (s)election, I may be on my way to either Costa Rica or Peru, where my SS checks will go farther than here. At least until I die in a hail of bullets, caught in the crossfire of a drug deal gone horribly wrong.

    • BoroPrimorac

      Is Obummer trying to take all your money, which you made totally by yourself without the help of a stable infrastructure? Thought so. Now shut up and get back to work. And don't ever talk about leaving again, you unpatriotic goon.

    • Jadetiger79

      I'd scram too if I wasn't dead broke.

  • noodlesalad

    If rich folks care so much about their money only, how come they're investing bajillions of their dollars in the next election? Clearly, they are concerned about the future of their tax bills, er, I mean, Baby Jeebus' America.

  • Sassomatic

    Rapture, natch.

    • Brian totally held onto the couch so Gretch would float above him. Then he just stared up her skirt the whole ride.

  • Who the hell is Clayton Morris–a Brian Kilmeade impersonator?

    • noodlesalad

      I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I picked up a case of the Alisyn Camerotas when I was in Bangkok last year.

      • A good anti-fungal ointment should take care of it.

        • noodlesalad

          It can take away the burning sensation, but no anti-fungal will erase those terrible, terrible memories.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            "those terrible, terrible memories."

            Bangkok: you're doing it wrong.

          • Crank_Tango

            Sometimes YOU'RE the ladyboy, I guess.

          • SorosBot

            One night there make a hard man humble.

          • prommie

            I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.

          • Geminisunmars


    • BoroPrimorac

      Former Roger Ailes play thing.

  • freakishlywrong

    Remember when all those millionaires fled when Clinton raised taxes? Me neither.

    • PubOption

      I don't remember any fleeing when the sainted Ronnie raised taxes, either.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Remember how the job creators just up and stopped creatin' jobs?

    • not that Radio

      But NOBAMA lowering or not raising taxes is just part of his nefarious plan to nationalize all income. cf gun control policy

    • An_Outhouse

      There was that Mark guy that Clinton had to pardon, but I think he killed somebody or something.

  • Every time I see Not-Steve Douchy, I can't help but think of "Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him."

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      And to show 'em that you will not be ignored…

  • freakishlywrong

    rapey-faced Brian Kilmeade is fucking pure gold.

  • See how insidious the liberal media is?

  • Pragmatist2

    Thy are NOT "just greedy"!!!
    They are "Super Greedy."

    • They are our nation's Greed Creators, my friend.

    • mrpuma2u

      Hey, but they were Proud to have been Americans! Gawd blesh da Cayman Islands!!

  • FAUX and Fiends.

    Brought down by the Lieberal Media, of course.

  • SexySmurf

    Maybe those millionaires are just taking a year off to backpack across Europe and find themselves (I believe "find themselves" is a euphemism for "bang lots of hot French chicks").

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I hear that once you get past the armpit and leg hair, it's pretty fun.

      :::DB runs for cover:::

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That's what it used to mean, back when we (Americans) were cool, but I'd be very surprised if it still holds true.

    • BoroPrimorac

      French chicks? Those pricks are going to eastern Europe, where their money goes a long way and girls overlook the fact that they're pasty, unathletic pussies.

  • Goonemeritus

    Fox touting civic responsibility what’s next are they going to retract their bold anti abolition stance?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Maybe all the Fox Superfriends have menage-a-tryouts at the Vatican today.

  • mavenmaven

    It was deemed important to remind conservative women that all blonde women are interchangeable once they reach a certain age or visibility. Know your place, helmet haired blondes, just like Jesus and our millionaires say!

    • PubOption

      Is Newt a millionaire?

    • BoroPrimorac

      Monica Crowley is pacing about nervously. She's reaching the critical age of 45 for god's sake.

  • Either Doocey or Carlson – not sure which – isn't back yet from that Fox train-pulling assignment at RomneyFe$t. The other one just realized he/she has been brain dead for some time and took the day off.

  • eggsacklywright

    If Pravda says so, it must be true, nessy-pah?

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Uh Oh..Alyson has gone "Shep"

    • Given the opportunity, possums will multiply. Even shy little ones.

    • Terry

      Her days on Fox are numbered.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if those guys told Alizyn that the real name of the show is "Fox and Friends with Benefits" and there'd be a nice three-way during the post-production meeting.

  • Come here a minute

    The phrase Alisyn Camerota is looking for is "rational self-interest". So yeah, they're just greedy.

  • SorosBot

    Are they just greedy? No, they're also sociopathic fuckwads.

    • tessiee

      I'm not sure whether you just meant this as snark, or whether there was a serious component to your statement, but you're right. I've seen this over and over again. It's not enough for the 1% to have usurped our money and civil rights; they're not *really* happy until they get to grind their heel into some poor slob's throat.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hmmm — Rupert Murdoch's vast international criminal enterprise is under investigation here in the US, and all of a sudden the blonde cross-eyed girl walks off because of sexist remarks and then the Faux & Friends crew starts asking obvious questions about greedy bastards. I'm betting Rupert's not counting on Darrel Issa's contempt resolution against Eric Holder going anywhere and he's taking the appeasement route for now.

  • no scotus coverage? i need wonkette's analysis as bbc and npr and la times are conflicting.

    • Indeed. SCROTUS is delivering mass amounts of smegma this week.

  • ElPinche

    Douche Clone: "You stay here and fight for better tax laws."

    Some fine examples include Adelson or Kock bros. who are trying to buy this election.

  • Maybe Murdoch is trying to convince Noboma that he really has a soul, to try a divert Eric Holder's FBI minions' investigations. Silly Rupert doesn't he know that the entire administration are all godless commies who care nothing about souls.

  • Will Stab For Food

    "Are they just greedy?"

    Isn't this like asking if scorpions are just stabby?

    • Terry

      Scorpions only sting you when you annoy or threaten them. Not just for their own amusement and enhancement of personal wealth.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Well, they stab to catch their food (heh, scorpion on the sidewalk with a sign, "Will stab for food") so that's kind of an enhancement. I don't believe anyone has heard a scorpion chuckle though. Maybe someone is researching this?

        • scvirginia

          I've heard some Scorpios chuckle- will that do in a pinch?

          • Will Stab For Food

            That sounds kind of fishy to me.

  • Stay gold, Ponyboy

    The 1%'s nature's first greed is gold,
    The hardest smirk to hold;
    Her early returns' don't cower
    Until that poison shower
    Then brief subsides to sheaf
    For feedin' banks relief
    So — *yawn* — an idiot's bray;
    Nothing smart to say.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    What's really funny is that these Real American™ zillionaires have almost nowhere on the planet to go, where they can pay less than the 15 percent they pay here in the U S of fuckin' A. Maybe Macau (part of Commie China) will give 'em a break, assuming that people are corporations too in that capitalist paradise.

  • SoBeach

    The official narrative from the right is rich people made their money all by themselves with no help from anyone ever. In fact, they are so wonderful they managed to get rich in SPITE of our awful government and confiscatory taxes. They don't owe their country ANYTHING. They should be applauded for grabbing their stash and hauling ass.

    Somebody at Fox is liable to get fired for allowing those clowns to go off-script.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Could it be that FOX News has become sentient?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Nah. Momma always said that when you lie constantly, you will generally confuse yourself to the point that you've forgotten what you already said. FOX has just reached that tipping point.

    • scvirginia

      One swallow doesn't make a spring, or something.

  • GREEDY??? It's the poor who are the greedy ones, always looking up to billionaires and lusting after their hard earned (or justly inherited) money! Ever have a poor give you their food stamps??? Case closed!

    • An_Outhouse

      Its not envy if the recipients are union employees. Greedy teachers and firemen.

    • James Michael Curley

      Actually, yes.

  • prommie

    I prefer the term "revolution" to "class warfare." Its a so much more evocative word, ne'est ce pas? it brings to mind happy scenes involving tumbrils, nooses, barricades, storming things, guillotines and such. You say you want a revolution? Yes, yes, come to think of it, I do want that.

    • freakishlywrong

      I think we're in the middle of one, at least a coup. And they're winning. (they have all the media and all the money). We, however, have numbers, bitches.

      • prommie

        You know, most people seem to think the French Revolution was some kind of peasants revolt and the "people" rose up and fought the government. But no, really not at all. The duly elected French parliament passed legitimate legislation which lawfully enacted the revolution. Robespierre was just a party leader, sort of like the Speaker of the House, the Parliament established a special committee to rule the country for an interim, appointed him to lead it, and so, there ya go, reign of terror enacted quite legitimately through completely legal means. So yes, quite literally, the US right wing has been engaging in a "revolution" through the policies and laws they pass, and the laws they block, exactly like the French Revolution, and yes, they are winning.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Sadly, I don't think it matters anymore that there are more of us. They have the media. I live in the sounth, and there's not a dumbass poor, middle class or rich folk here who don't think Obama is "destroying America." How the fuck I'm going to live and obtain medical care when I need it I truly don't fucking know.

        Why, no , I don't think my meds are working this morning.

    • Terry

      Don't you mean rEVOLution?

  • Don't all the FOX personalities wear shock harnesses around their genitals so the control room can keep them on the reservation?!

    • tessiee

      I sure hope so.

  • i would gouge my eyeballs out b/4 i watched fox and friends.

    cause when you think about it, watching fox and friends is pretty much the equivalent of killing your father and sleeping with your mother.

  • Giveusabob

    I would have thought it clear the proper chemistry of Kilmeade & co. would be that of bath salts.

  • Estproph

    I think Gretchen is having her servomotors examined today. Doocy failed the Turing test and is no longer reliable.

  • Oblios_Cap

    How is it that those furry idiots have jobs yet many of my more intelligent friends do not?

  • a_pink_poodle

    It all starts with radical feminist Gretchen walking off the stage and now Fox News has been liberalized! CLASS WARFARE CLASS WARFARE!

  • Don't miss the important revelation at the end of the clip: Fox News hosts admit they don't understand toilets! Now we know why they spew their $#!+ out over their network instead.

    • RedneckMuslin

      He said, "you know those toilets that you have to stand up in and do your business"?

      He's doing it wrong.

  • An_Outhouse

    Any new crotch shots? or whatever you call them?
    I looked it up: Upskirts, you call them upskirts

  • I think it's Tourette Syndrome. They all got hysterical and screeched a few almost sane, completely inappropriate words, and will be heavily medicated when you see them again.

    • tessiee

      "Hello. Dear. Nothing. Happened. During. My. Completely. Uneventful. Day at Work."

      • "Hello. Dear. Nothing. Happened. OBAMATWATWAFFLENAZI! During. My. Completely. Uneventful. Day at Work."

  • Toomush_Infer

    Nope – they're leaving because they just can't put up with Fox & Fiends trash any more…..

  • GemlikeFlame

    Wait, wait, wait, wait… Fox and Friends used to abjectly worship the wealthy to the point of self-induced orgasm. Are the 1% no longer returning their calls and leaving pouty emails unanswered?

  • fawkedifiknow

    This is just a demonstration orchestrated by Ailes, to show the regular clown act that he can always find three more where they came from.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I made the mistake of leaving the video running in the background and thus was exposed to their discussion of the confusing Euro plumbing implements… so… cold…

  • DocChaos

    It's the job-creators that "allow' the government to redistribute a portion of their hard earned wealth to those who fail to take advantage of the opportunities the rich have created. Clearly, it is the government that is being greedy. It is the through the generosity of the very rich that government is even able to fund an infrastructure that the noncontributing poor take advantage of.

    You'd think Fox would have this all down by now.

  • DahBoner


    Any other questions?

  • An_Outhouse

    OMG, Elizabeth Warren dressed up as a dude and got a job on Faux. Why don't they just put on some Occupy tee shirts abnd complete the transition?

  • Biff

    I won't sully my new 'puter by watching that video, but does Alisyn Camerota have the Fatal Attraction leg-crossing move mastered, as does Gretchen?

  • rickmaci

    Favorite picture ever of Alisyn Camerota.

  • tessiee

    i suspect some sort of clumsy attempt at increasing their market share by trying to appeal to those under age 70 or over IQ 70. Good luck with that, fuckers.

  • rocktonsam

    rumor has it Gretchen was at the Rmoney thing/cabinet rich guy summit in Park City serving coffee, Douchy was being douchy. there also

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