OK cowboys and cowgirls, gather ’round the semi-automatic campfire for a heartwarming story of the destruction of land, homes and wildlife in the great American state of Utah. Here’s the story in a nutshell: Utah’s “Dump Fire” (so named because it was set off by some Utahans target shooting at a dump) is only 30% contained and has so far destroyed 4200 acres, with 9000 people evacuated from their homes and a threat that the fires will take down the power grid for 7000 homes. In a state that has the mostest laxiest gunnery laws in the U. S. of A. and has been called a factory for concealed-weapon permits for out-of-state gun owners (in 2011, out of 347,262 active permits, 200,525 belong to nonresidents), the governor is, well, outgunned and can do nothing but beg like a weasel for gun owners to “self-regulate.”
Governor Herbert said Friday that there have already been 400 wildfires in Utah – 380 of those were human caused. He called on shooters to self-regulate since legislation bars sheriffs from banning firearms.
However, a statewide ban on shooting any ammunition with a steel component on BLM, state and unincorporated private land has been issued.
The Salt Lake Tribune reports that the two shooters who sparked the fire told authorities that they tried to put it out, and then called 911. Jason Curry of the Utah Division of Forestry, Fire and State Lands said there was no evidence of wrongdoing and charges would not be filed.
According to the Guardian, the BLM said that the Dump Fire “is the 20th target-shooting related fire this year in Utah.” Read that again, the 20th target-shooting related fire this year. But any hint of a reasonable gun control conversation is verboten because it’s all Obama’s fault (that Utah still has the same lax gun laws — and more! — as they did before he was elected). Just this April, the Salt Lake City Deseret News quoted hair-farmer presidential candidate Mitt Romney when he told the National Rifle Association that he will “stand up for the rights of hunters and those seeking to protect their homes and families. He said Obama fails to do so, but he didn’t offer any specifics.” A Utah resident had this to say, defending poor Romney against gun-control commie commenters:
As to Obama and guns, he has repeatedly, in his own words, made it quite clear that he wants to restrict the right to keep and bear arms. A specific example of this administrations’ action to this regard is the Fast and Furious scandal. If you can’t see this as a threat to the Second Amendment, you are either not being honest or you are just drinking the Kool Aid.
Evidently, the property loss, plus the huge state, BLM and federal cost of fighting these fires, isn’t enough for Utah to regulate gun use. They are also completely out of Kool Aid. So the only thing that Utah’s governor Gary Herbert can do is learn to negotiate with gun owners by watching South Park:
{ 108 comments }
As to Obama and guns, he has repeatedly, in his own words, made it quite clear that he wants to restrict the right to keep and bear arms
When the fuck did he say that? No Fed Munnies for gun nuts. Burn, Utah.
"Project Fast and Furious" targeted slimeball gun runners trafficing weapons to Mexican narco-lords.
Now some Utah resident, with a straight face, complains that this is a restriction on his rights? I think the ATF needs to pay a visit to this particular resident. (Wear your vests, guys.)
Unfortunately, this guy didn't think of that idea. It's become part of the standard wingnut response to people saying that Fast and Furious was just a continuation of the virtually identical Bush DOJ operation whose name escapes me. "Bush's program was aimed at Mexican drug lords. Fast and Furious was a planned campaign to weaken the 2nd amendment". Doesn't make an ounce of sense, of course, but there it is.
And not just nutjob anonymous internet posters either – nutjob congressbozos too. Issa was pushing this line at the last NRA convention.
A sample of the not-at-all-batshit-insane musings of the man who heads a major congressional committee:
This administration has trampled on the Constitution, on the First Amendment, on religious rights, and if you don’t think that this Fast and Furious and things like it are the beginning of an attack in the second term on the Second Amendment, you really haven’t evaluated this president.
Operation Gunrunner, Operation Wide Receiver … they've been doing it for years. But now that the President is near, it's all scandalous and an assault on wingnut freedumbs — and a great excuse for numbnutz congresscritters to waste time rather than doing anything with even a remote chance of improving the economy before November.
(And bring your butterfly nets).
They're cuckoo for cocopuffs out there.
To understand the nonsense coming from the right over this, watch Rachel Maddow
AAAAAHHH! The STOOPID! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!
How dare Obama deny us our Freedoms to live in a charred post-apocalyptic desert wasteland with a heavily-armed population shooting at trash heaps!
He has to be polite. He runs a state filled with people who are armed and are crazy enough to believe the Joseph Smith story.
…and won't let a holocaust happen to THEM.
Fuck Utah. So glad I left that…wait a minute, I'm in Texas now!
Out of the frying pan, into the nucular (Official State Spelling) holocaust.
The Mormon temples tend to be prettier than those Texas Evangelical megachurches, so Utah wins on that count. Texas has a LOT more liberal liquor laws, so Texas takes that point. Texas has great fishing on the coast and some really good food. Utahans only have some puny freshwater fish and consider Jello and potato casserole are high cuisine. Overall, the Lone Star State wins over Utah.
What, you've never been marlin fishing on the Great Salt Lake?
No, but I've heard guys describe lake trout as if they were marlin.
Last time I drove past the Great Salt Lake the big thing was to stop by the side of the road, dig rocks out of the sand and use them to spell out things. Since that was decades ago, I can't imagine what how it has evolved. (Of course I can, I go into NYC frequently and work in Jersey City where there is no lack of blank walls and spray paint.)
That was back when people in Utah could spell. Nowadays, they look at the rocks your uncle Sid laid out in 1968, and figure God must have put 'em there 6,000 years ago.
Slickrock at Moab is prety cool. Clutching at straws here.
When flamethrowers are outlawed, only outlaws will have flamethrowers.
When weasels are outlawed, only weasels will be outlaws.
"It's important to know how to weasel, it's what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Except the weasel."
—Homer Simpson
What the fuck, why are all the comments on the right-hand side of the page? Is it because I love my vegetables?
The margins have been asked to self-regulate this morning.
Welcome to Utah …where everything is way off to the right.
Courtney, sweetie, you've changed…
Kortney?
Some idiots just want to watch Utah burn.
Self-regulate?
I was thinking they could shoot each other.
Potato, potahto
Why not just shoot the fire out? Utah, fuck yeah!
Drought leading to dangerous fire conditions in a heavily forested area is nature's way of saying the insane interpretations of the Second Amendment are insane.
As is the denying of climate change.
Let's let AZ and UT secede. 48 states is plenty.
Ahem…that would make it 55 states, sir.
We could easily replace AZ and UT with DC and Puerto Rico and keep the US flag as it is. Just sayin'.
Quite.
You forgot FL, sorry FL wonketters…
I tend to forgive Florida a lot as the beaches and coastal areas around Choctawhatchee, Apalachicola, and St Joe Bays are absolutely spectacular.
Gun-caused fires are patriotic, bitchez.
Now they can protect there homes with water pistols.
They're sold out of Super-Soakers down at the Walmart. It's Obama's doing, of course.
Sounds like the Gov is self-medicating.
Let these assholes protect their homes from the fire — with their guns.
Fight fire with fire!
As to Obama and guns, he has repeatedly, in his own words, made it quite clear that he wants to restrict the right to keep and bear arms.
Whenever Obama doesn't say anything about an issue it means he is secretly planning to destroy Amerikkkan Freedumb.
Well, of course — I mean, if he says nuttin', what's he hiding, amiright?
Was a wagon train passing through?
Because stand your dump!
A well-self-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to burn the fucking State to the ground, shall not be infringed.
Does this mean I can't use my flame thrower today??? Damn!
Why does Obama seek to protect used tires at the expense of the American family?
Wow, -107p… SOMEONE'S been trolling!
Seems they're very downfisty over at Ghost of Breitbart.
Moderation and wisdom have always been the hallmark of the gun nut.
Exhibit A: Wayne LaPierre.
republican policy-when idiots talk about politics. "Here' Hold my beer while I tell you how to fix 'merica. "
More like, "Hold my beer while I empty a full clip into those tinder-dry woods over there. BLAMMITY-BLAMMITY-BLAMMITY-BLAM!!!! Yeeeha! Uh, uh-oh. Shit … does 9-1-1 work out here?"
The obvious solution here is to deregulate squirt-gun ownership.
Well, in defense of the shooters, a landfill is a pretty tempting target.
They were just trying to move it up the solid waste hierarchy- reduce reuse recycle incinerate landfill. Duh.
Edward Abbey did that kind of thing all the time.
Burn motherfucker burn! I do love environmental irony…its even more fun than when the gun nuts shoot each other!
Jesus Christ. The last two weekends I have struggled to keep campfires going in the rain and this is how Utah treats its nice, dry weather.
The fire is clearly the fault of the trash dump. It was just lying there, almost begging to be shot.
It was wearing a hoodie.
Did you see the way it was dressed?!
That's one provocative cumdumpster.
A clear case of "Stand your Dump Law".
Obama had the dump put there for obvious reasons
They are also out of Kool-Aid.
Decision time Utah. Do you want water for fighting fire or are you going to limit the use of water so you can continue to make the tasty Kool-Aid beverage. Remember Utah that we folks out in the other states are paying for your freedom, firefighting resources and your new low interest FEMA loans because you can building in a forest and not create any defensible space around your home.
No defensible space? Shouldn't these gun nuts have at least a 100-yard clear perimeter all around their houses, with line-of-sight from at least two sandbag emplacements on the roof?
The Ute, the Ute, the Ute is on fire;
We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn.
I think a lot of Utah's problems would go away if they'd just let people have some friggin' coffee!
That, alone, is enough to keep many from converting!
(Even magic underwear cannot counter this terrifying prospect.)
From my warm, charred hands.
Also SCOTUS blog for today's mischief: http://scotusblog.wpengine.com/
I burned the brushpile out back this weekend, but I just used matches and a little diesel fuel to start it, and left the gun in the nightstand.
Yes, I leave shooting matches to light fires to Annie Oakley-types as well.
Pussy!
We recognize that the Second Amendment gives you the right to set us on fire but…….
Guns don't start fires, NRA armed- morons start fires.
(Did you see how I repeated myself there? NRA = armed-moron, duh.)
NRA = Nominally Re†arded Americans
I think I may be self-regulating a little too much, lately. I am starting to get chafed.
Huh. Dump fires from target practice. I can relate. There's some trash around here I'd like to shoot too, and I've never heard of a shot redneck causing a forest fire.
Hey, I'm glad you are back. I was getting worried. Totally not stalking you or anything, I just enjoy your commentary. And your car-washing prowess.
Utah. My state, again. Oh boy!
alt-txt: "Let's shoot some trees" I see someone else remembers the original Rollerball. Truly a great WTF? moment in a great WTF? movie.
Nope. I just sat there for a while, wondering what to write, saw a tree. Now I must twaddle off to Google to see what/who I was channeling.
That scene was hard to film as the trees were naturally very fire resistant I don't remember the particulars but it was long standing, possibly true Urban Legend. From my youth in the garden shop business, I know many conifers have a high resistance to burning. One, Ponderosa Pine I think, will only release the seeds from its cones when high heat is applied to the cone.
Apparently there is a constitutional right to shoot into dumpsters and destroy the state, but as the NY Times put it:" [is] there a constitutional right to say, ''Burn, baby, burn''? The answer, affirmed by New York's highest court, the Court of Appeals, in 1967, was no."
So you can do it, but if you say it, you can go to jail.
4200 acres burned, 9000 homes evacuated ==> no evidence of wrongdoing. Got it.
These fires are clearly an Obama plot to eliminate the 2nd amendment. Impeach!
The most amusing part of the Republicans trying so hard to manufacture a controversy about "Fast and Furious" is that their entire premise is based on the notion that more guns equals more crime. All it took was a black Democrat as President to make the NRA and their minions do a 180 degree turn on their religious doctrine.
Stand your coffee grounds!
If everyone was armed they could just shoot the fire out.
Considering that Utah gets $1.07 back for every dollar paid in federal taxes, burning it down is a clever way to reduce the federal deficit. Good to see some of these right wing idiots actually do something constructive.
So the NRA is the de facto Provisional Government of the State of Utah? It couldn't happen to a nicer state.
So Lisa, did you get your free Fast & Furious assault rifle? I read on the Internet that any Mexican resident can apply for one at the nearest U.S. Consulate.
Since my plane made a pit stop in Cuba, I am now on a wanted list and had to give all my guns to the other people on the plane. :-(
"Utard" is the correct term not "Utahans."
I used to operate a dump, and one of our finest traditions was lobbing rounds into the appliance department from long distances. I also learned that the judicious application of fire added years to the lifespan of your landfill. It's eco-friendly!
This makes perfect sense.
See, The Church doesn't like people in "their" National Forest, so they've apparently told their Law Enforcement Officers to harass anyone in the United States National Forest, without any reason.
Guns aren't people, so let 'er rip into the Forest, burn it down, then build a new shopping center named after trees.
PROFIT!!!!
I did not know flamethrowers were concealable………..
Any hour now, the wingtards will start bloviating something about the fires being ignited by the USDA as part of a conspiracy by Obama and Holder to start a backlash against gun owners so the government can have an excuse for dumping the the 2d amendment. Mark my words.
I would like to upfist this article solely for its invention and use of the phrase "beg like a weasel".
Good Lord, people in Utah are stupid!
Fun is important, but so is safety.
Look, everybody knows that shooting rats at the dump is where you go for a fancy first date.
But, everybody *also* knows that when it's too windy to shoot rats, you go downtown and watch the stop light (singular) change.
Don't worry, guys, you'll be showing her your gun (tee hee) soon enough.
Can we somehow tie this in to the calendar of "real women" with guns?
Speaking of fires and nut cases, has everyone seen Malkin's long whine about how her home is being threatened by the Colorado fires because of Obama's refusal to supply funding for aircraft and fire fighters? Why do Democrats want to keep cutting the public sector jobs Malkin has fought so hard to preserve and expand?
Am I the only one who realizes that "Utah" spelled backwards is "Hate You"? Spelled sideways is "Head Fucked", also, too, as well as…
Comments on this entry are closed.