Barack Obama Would Like Anyone With A Gift Registry To Just Give To Him Instead

  congratulations on your blessed day

what? i am automatically invited to every wedding by executive order

President Obama, that is his name, has come up with a brilliant new way to try to beat his opponent Mitt Romney at money-making, despite the fact that they seem to have more money than anyone would need to do anything, except maybe buy a Hawaiian island!!!!!! Isn’t it strange that we have to pay people to prepare themselves to run the country for a relatively short time? Anyway, Obama is now suggesting that if you have a wedding, birth, or anniversary, or any old excuse for wanting your friends and family to pool together their unemployment and social security checks and buy you shit, instead of asking for Le Creuset pots and diapers and wine, why don’t you just give the money to Barack Obama instead?

Yes, sorry, that’s really all there is to it. Here’s the official suggestion from the Barack Obama website:

genius

Now let’s check the comments for reactions from REAL PEOPLE who visit Barack Obama’s website.

Have I stumbled onto a comedy site?

I smell the smoke of desperation here guys. Seriousl, don’t you find this idea a tad arrogant? However, it is great blog material. Thanks.

IT IS GREAT BLOG MATERIAL!

What a freaking joke… In lieu of birthday, graduation, wedding gifts, etc., make a donation to Barack Obama’s campaign in my name? This is the most absurd thing to come out of his mind to date. What a bunch of ignorant arrogant douch-bags. Sorry to offend real douch-bags but this idiocracy has got to stop.

Oh my God! When is this amateurs hour going to be over with?

What’s next?….should we ask friends and family to send donations to Obama in lieu of bereavement gifts? This is an embarrassment.

WELL! This all brings up a good point. If you are so desperate for the money, so focused on the dollar signs, maybe you will forget that people actually have to like you in order to give you money, and if you ask for money in disgusting, clueless ways, maybe the people will not like you, and then not even give you money when you ask for it in normal, cool ways! Just an idea. [Weasel Zippers]

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Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

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119 comments

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I think there's the germ of an idea here: the DNC should hold the world's biggest tag sale, ever. Everybody brings their ugly candlestics, or whatever, to the National Mall, puts them down with a price tag, and wanders off in search of something better (somebody else's ugly tablecloth, maybe.)

      With a full weekend in the hot sun, thousands of people could raise, I dunno, maybe 1/10 of what one wingnutty billionaire gave to Mint Mormony before lunch last Thursday, on a whim.

  1. Steverino247

    Given that the alternative is control by regional warlords set on turning their area of the United States into fiefdoms, I'd say any gift that re-elects the President is money well spent.

  2. Indiepalin

    My daughter's getting married in October to a Nigerian national. I'll pass this suggestion along to them.

  3. SorosBot

    Funny, I fail to see how Obama is being arrogant here…

    …oh wait, I forgot that the bigots know they can't say "uppity" but think they can get away with switching to a synonym. Got it.

        1. actor212

          You and you're liberal "facts". I'm not raising the babby! I'm returning him after the dinner party. I'll even leave the tags on.

  4. BarackMyWorld

    George Will says there isn't too much money in politics because we spend $2 billion on Easter candy. Because politicians are exactly like chocolate bunnies and candy eggs, and should be bought once a year.

      1. Barb

        No, I am home. My daughter had her baby and she was born with a small left side of heart, corat of aorta and 2 holes in her heart. I have to figure out what's going to happen next. They won't do surgery until next week. I don't know what "corat of aorta is" Chrissy sent the update on her iPhone and I don't know if it auto-corrected or something. I'm Googling all of this now.

        1. sullivanst

          Could it be "coarctation"? Obviously anything heart-related is not what a grandma wants to hear, but the Mayo clinic materials on coarctation of the aorta make it seem very survivable.

        2. MosesInvests

          Ugh! Well, my niece (ex-niece?) was born with all kinds of problems with her heart, like only 3 chambers instead of four. She's 14 years old now. So, optimism, yes? You, your daughter and the baby are in all our hearts/prayers.

    1. MosesInvests

      What, you don't like overpriced, burnt coffee served in cups with pretentious, pseudo-Italian names? And how's grandbabby #2?

    2. Callyson

      HUGE thumbs up for that–I despise Starbucks and only go there if completely desperate (e.g., highway rest stops with NOTHING else…)

      ETA: oh yeah, MosesInvests reminds me–did everything go well with the grandbaby?

      1. Barb

        I already answered that somewhere. She was born with two holes in her hear and some other problems. She will have open heart surgery next month. Chrissy has yet to even hold her.

        1. Callyson

          Oh my God…Barb, I am so sorry. Let me know if you prefer I don't do this, otherwise I'll keep her in my prayers.Got your e-mail and will answer later this weekend. Meanwhile, my best to all of you…

        2. Barb

          Fuck me, I just saw what I wrote. Excuse me for what I said, "she will have open heart surgery next month" I am so tired and half crazed. Mina will have open heart surgery next WEEK, not month.

          Mina has yet to eat anything. She will not take breast, nor formula.

          I'm positive that things are going to turn out well.

          1. Barb

            Hey Trampn, good to see you!

            I have faith that everything is going to turn out well. Then I have moments where I think that the cheese in my fridge is conspiring to make some sort of evil fondue that is going to turn against me.

            I've unplugged my microwave oven, just in case. Yeah, good luck melting that cheese in the desert!

            Oh shit, be right back…….

          2. bobbert

            "Next week" meaning "Monday", I hope. This is way scary, but the docs can do some pretty amazing stuff these days. Have hope.

            BTW, your evil fondue reminded me of an old (Larsen?) cartoon — a guy standing at his fridge with the door open, and on one shelf there's a little bowl on tiny legs pointing an automatic at him. Caption:
            "When potato salad goes bad".

          3. Barb

            I miss Gary Larson. Remember the man clown is about to hit the woman clown in the face with a pie? "Not on the first date"

          4. redarmybarbie

            Barb,

            Sorry I'm late to this, I just caught up on all the info. I'd just like to say congratulations, and that everything's going to be fine (not that you needed me to tell you that).

            Nonetheless, your family is still in my wishes, and I hope Chrissy gets to hold the baby soon. =)

  5. PubOption

    Judging by the spelling and grammar, most of the comments on the Barack Obama website are from teabaggers. So, which of the Republican talking heads sent them to that site?

  6. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Sure, it is a little tacky… and I would like to see more email from the WH that don't include requests for money.

    But someone called FLOTUS "Michelle Antoinette". I may have to trace an IP address and kick someone's ass for that.

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      Damn Michelle Antoinette with all her fancy thinkin' that, when they hit age 12, children shouldn't weigh more than they're parents.
      Now I'm off to buy a case of Mountain Dew and cakes we like that are big as tires at Sam's Club. Fer Freedum!

  7. BlueStateLibel

    You're all missing out on the endless ways you'll be able to torment wingnut friends and relatives with this. "In lieu of flowers," I'll tell the grieving widow, "I made a donation to Obama's re-election campaign. I know (insert name of dead wingnut uncle) would have wanted it that way."

    1. fuflans

      back in '08 i did that to a bunch of wingtards: donated to bamz then block quoted an entire nest of wingtard addresses as potential donors (they had been tormenting mr fuflans…).

      i hope they still get emails from jim messina.

  8. Blueb4sunrise

    Well, my impending nuptials were cancelled because of the Gay Cheney wedding!!!!!
    So no gift for you Barry.

  9. mrpuma2u

    When Barry O frees the weed, he will get some $$ from me, which is to say most likely never.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Despite the fact that it's almost all capital gains (thank you, Steve Jobs), it's not taxed at the billionaire's preferred rate of 15%, so fuck Mitt … I'm actually going to need what's left.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Not much. We mostly just sat around complaining about how much we missed you.

      Didja kick ass in the poker tournament?

      1. Barb

        Chich, I got me a royal flush! Okay, the poker tourney was on a break and I went to a poker machine to smoke and drink and got a royal flush, lol.

        Man, I was up a TON of money at one time and then I went down, down, down.

        The limo driver knew not to speak to me this morning. I was a grumpy bunny and he just drove and kept quiet.

        Met lots of interesting people, ate a lot of awesome food and now it is time to grab fate back and fix everything that is wrong right now.

        1. Chichikovovich

          That's the way those tournaments are set up, if I understand right – pots wax and wane, but in the end one person gets it all. But still, though I'm no expert on video poker, my impression is that a Royal Flush pays off pretty well on one of those machines. So you can buy the cats the gourmet chow this month.As for the other dimensions of fate, remember that you and your daughters/grandchildren are always in our thoughts.—

          1. bobbert

            In, as they say, my dreams.

            No, he's grinding at the WSOP, and you may have seen him, but how would you know?

    2. MosesInvests

      Hey, Barb, I'm trying to increase the size of my p-ness. Should I post:
      A: Trucknutz
      B: BALLS
      C: Hitler!
      D: ___ Libel!
      or
      E: All of them, Katy?

      1. Barb

        If you post, "I love you, Barb" people tend to get really generous with the p-ness. I know that I do.

  10. SexySmurf

    OT But why does Full Metal Jacket dude and Chuckles, Texas Norris want to "trigger" my vote? Is it a veiled threat? Is this some sneaky ACORN/Black Panther shit? I'm scared; someone hold me.

  11. SorosBot

    OT, but is anyone else getting ads from the fucking NRA with that idiot Chuck Norris and some crazy old man? They really don't know the audience here.

  12. MumbletyRadio

    Barack, I know we inhabit the Greatest Nation Ever and all — and the wedding industry isn't suffering nearly as badly as actual marriage longevity rates are — well that would become my point, you are targeting the wrong sector. Figure out how to milk cash from the DIVORCE phenomenon that's made an example of us to the world for, dunno, decades! If you could put your campaign's hive mind to work on deriving some returns from newly-single party animals that the Mitt-Mormon contingent won't touch with a ten-foot clothesline? CASH COW, just sayin'.

    1. sullivanst

      "Getting divorced because you can no longer stand your spouse's politics? Looking for a way to get rid of cash so you don't have to split it with that horrible person? Give it all to me! He/she won't get a penny!"

  13. PubOption

    I thought that the Romney campaign was supposed to be gaffe-prone. Is the Democratic party trying to fight fire with fire?

  14. Extemporanus

    In lieu of an unfist on this comment, please donate a few choice words to President Barack Obama on my behalf.

    1. Steverino247

      How about this?

      Mr. President, they hate your guts, so go after them as hard as you can. You'll energize the base and destroy the meme R's pass around that the last D with balls was Harry Truman (until he fired MacArthur).

  15. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Too bad Obama doesn't just have 32 billionaires who can buy him the election instead.

  16. Chet Kincaid

    Yeah, I'm sure this disgusting, clueless act is going to send all the fence-sitters into the Romney camp. It's like he fucked Jerry Sandusky's adopted son, in their email!!

    1. Dr. Nick Riviera

      But people said mean things about Obama on a public forum about Obama! Surely these are all dedicated Obama supporters and independents and not wingnuts who troll the website.

  17. Dr. Nick Riviera

    As a cynical person, even I feel like nobody is so stupid or their feelings so delicate that a breach of decorum convinces them to throw up their hands and let the homophobe racist plutocrat win unless they already were going to do so.

  18. Callyson

    My birthday is September 15, right around when people start to pay attention. Perfect!

  19. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Given the number of discussions on NPR recently about campaigns receiving money from texting ("Here, Barry! Twenny bucks and a shot of the twins!"), I really am surprised at this idea.

    His campaign last time was all about small donations. And there's nothing attractive about the world of campaign finance in the retaliation votes of 2010, that can't be solved by something that remains as grassroots as 2008 did.

    Fuck you, Koch. Fuck you, Willionard. My twenty is still good in these here parts… right?

  20. glamourdammerung

    Looked at the source, then figured I would wait to see if someone credible reported this happened.

  21. Dr. Nick Riviera

    If they seem desperate, it's because they *are* desperate. Republicans have every billionaire lining up with their checkbooks and able to give unlimited funds.

  22. TribecaMike

    Only a French hippie would say "lieu." Unless they're talking to their ami Lou, which is totally different. Carry on.

  23. tessiee

    What does he need money for? How much could it cost to buy a tape recorder, and just keep playing Romney's actual words over and over?

  24. LetUsBray

    Welcome to the world of Citizens United Next Tuesday. I expect Fat Tony and the Scalitos knew the Democrats would have to get creative/aggressive/desperate to keep with with the corporate crowd's massive advantage.

  25. alteredimages

    Give at the $5000 level and they'll name a drone after you and send pictures of an adorable Afghani orphan. And pictures from the drone of the moment he was orphaned by a Hellfire rocket.

  26. TribecaMike

    Re the photo: nice allusion to Neil Young's On The Beach. Very nice indeed. Very, very nice, AAAAAARRRGGG THE SHARK PEOPLE THEY'RE HERE OH JESUS MY LEG GLUUURRRGG!!!!

  27. bobbert

    I will certainly be sending Bamz a little more munnies, because it's not really "the lesser of two evils". It's "the better of imperfect and evil".

    Nevertheless, and speaking (obviously) only for myself, I think this is a really stupid, tacky idea. . I know they need money, but this is a little too reminiscent of "intercepted".

  28. hellbabe

    and should I come in to a little money or win the lottery? Maybe he'd like to be the beneficiary on my insurance policy…oh, wait, he's got that "kill list" thing going on

  29. DahBoner

    Careful people!

    Barry is a smooth, cold-blooded killer who will call in a SEAL assasin to take out any pirates molesting your gravy boats!!!!!

  30. ttommyunger

    Frankly, I am so tired of being asked for money I've even "Unsuscribed" to emails and blogs I believe in.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      ttu:

      Thanx to Wonkette I'm on the right wing nutz email roster – it is astonishing how my address has been passed around.

      The latest was a fundraising plea from Newsmax on behalf of Sheriff Joe.

      Quite entertaining!

      1. ttommyunger

        I oftentimes find myself pining for the paper and snail-mail days when you could wipe your ass on something and return it…..(sigh)

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