CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BLESSED DAY  3:40 pm June 22, 2012

Barack Obama Would Like Anyone With A Gift Registry To Just Give To Him Instead

by Liz Colville

what? i am automatically invited to every wedding by executive order

President Obama, that is his name, has come up with a brilliant new way to try to beat his opponent Mitt Romney at money-making, despite the fact that they seem to have more money than anyone would need to do anything, except maybe buy a Hawaiian island!!!!!! Isn’t it strange that we have to pay people to prepare themselves to run the country for a relatively short time? Anyway, Obama is now suggesting that if you have a wedding, birth, or anniversary, or any old excuse for wanting your friends and family to pool together their unemployment and social security checks and buy you shit, instead of asking for Le Creuset pots and diapers and wine, why don’t you just give the money to Barack Obama instead?

Yes, sorry, that’s really all there is to it. Here’s the official suggestion from the Barack Obama website:

genius

Now let’s check the comments for reactions from REAL PEOPLE who visit Barack Obama’s website.

Have I stumbled onto a comedy site?

I smell the smoke of desperation here guys. Seriousl, don’t you find this idea a tad arrogant? However, it is great blog material. Thanks.

IT IS GREAT BLOG MATERIAL!

What a freaking joke… In lieu of birthday, graduation, wedding gifts, etc., make a donation to Barack Obama’s campaign in my name? This is the most absurd thing to come out of his mind to date. What a bunch of ignorant arrogant douch-bags. Sorry to offend real douch-bags but this idiocracy has got to stop.

Oh my God! When is this amateurs hour going to be over with?

What’s next?….should we ask friends and family to send donations to Obama in lieu of bereavement gifts? This is an embarrassment.

WELL! This all brings up a good point. If you are so desperate for the money, so focused on the dollar signs, maybe you will forget that people actually have to like you in order to give you money, and if you ask for money in disgusting, clueless ways, maybe the people will not like you, and then not even give you money when you ask for it in normal, cool ways! Just an idea. [Weasel Zippers]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 119 comments }

nounverb911 June 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm

He can have the ugly candlesticks my cousin gave my wife and I for our wedding.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Regifting? To the Prez? Really? He might make that a Gitmo offense, sir.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 23, 2012 at 7:05 am

I think there's the germ of an idea here: the DNC should hold the world's biggest tag sale, ever. Everybody brings their ugly candlestics, or whatever, to the National Mall, puts them down with a price tag, and wanders off in search of something better (somebody else's ugly tablecloth, maybe.)

With a full weekend in the hot sun, thousands of people could raise, I dunno, maybe 1/10 of what one wingnutty billionaire gave to Mint Mormony before lunch last Thursday, on a whim.

DalePues June 23, 2012 at 12:04 pm

To "my wife and I", really?

Steverino247 June 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Given that the alternative is control by regional warlords set on turning their area of the United States into fiefdoms, I'd say any gift that re-elects the President is money well spent.

Indiepalin June 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm

My daughter's getting married in October to a Nigerian national. I'll pass this suggestion along to them.

Tundra Grifter June 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm

You can give your future son-in-law the 409.

SorosBot June 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Funny, I fail to see how Obama is being arrogant here…

…oh wait, I forgot that the bigots know they can't say "uppity" but think they can get away with switching to a synonym. Got it.

BarackMyWorld June 22, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Someone on his fundraising committee is being a moron, though.

Chill_Bill June 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Something tells me that Obama's campaign headquarters are going to be receiving boxes and boxes of dildos.

Grief_Lessons June 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Do not give Obama money out of the Wonkette beer fund. That is sacrosanct.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

You can, however, slide a little out of the pot pot, because you know he's good for it.

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Assuming he hasn't already intercepted it, of course.

Guppy June 22, 2012 at 4:19 pm

He's delegated that job to Michele Leonhart these days.

smokefilledroommate June 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

..And if you name your kid Barack, you'll get to have dinner with Michelle and I! And we'll throw in a bumper sticker, too!

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Hey! I'm going out to make babbies right now! That's a damn sight cheaper than the $50K Romney is charging!

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:11 pm
actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:13 pm

You and you're liberal "facts". I'm not raising the babby! I'm returning him after the dinner party. I'll even leave the tags on.

smokefilledroommate June 22, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Please do. Nobody wants a used babby.

BarackMyWorld June 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

George Will says there isn't too much money in politics because we spend $2 billion on Easter candy. Because politicians are exactly like chocolate bunnies and candy eggs, and should be bought once a year.

gullywompr June 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm

I don't think Obama understands just how volatile this Bonnie situation is.

BarackMyWorld June 22, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Is there a sign outside the White House that says…

…nevermind.

Generation[redacted] June 22, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Romney said I could take any rug I wanted.

BarackMyWorld June 22, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I thought we were doing "Pulp Fiction."

HarryButtle June 22, 2012 at 6:17 pm

So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean up the fucking country.

Steverino247 June 22, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Is that the one with the shit in her face?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I am willing to send food scraps, if that will help.

Lucidamente1 June 22, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Well, Mary Cheney did just get married . . .

Joshua Norton June 22, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I heartily endorse this idea. But only for friends who are active republicans.

dogscantlookup June 22, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Solshuizum or GTFO!

Barb June 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I've got a five dollar Starbuck's card. I HATE Starbucks.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:04 pm

::blink:: Barb? I thought you were still on vacation?

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Oh dear, you didn't clear up the party yet, did you?

Barb June 22, 2012 at 4:21 pm

No, I am home. My daughter had her baby and she was born with a small left side of heart, corat of aorta and 2 holes in her heart. I have to figure out what's going to happen next. They won't do surgery until next week. I don't know what "corat of aorta is" Chrissy sent the update on her iPhone and I don't know if it auto-corrected or something. I'm Googling all of this now.

Steverino247 June 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Whatever it is, we all hope things turn out well. Hang in there!

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Could it be "coarctation"? Obviously anything heart-related is not what a grandma wants to hear, but the Mayo clinic materials on coarctation of the aorta make it seem very survivable.

MosesInvests June 22, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Ugh! Well, my niece (ex-niece?) was born with all kinds of problems with her heart, like only 3 chambers instead of four. She's 14 years old now. So, optimism, yes? You, your daughter and the baby are in all our hearts/prayers.

Barb June 22, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I'm going to send this to Chrissy, thanks. I am sure she will appreciate it very much.

MosesInvests June 22, 2012 at 4:04 pm

What, you don't like overpriced, burnt coffee served in cups with pretentious, pseudo-Italian names? And how's grandbabby #2?

Callyson June 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

HUGE thumbs up for that–I despise Starbucks and only go there if completely desperate (e.g., highway rest stops with NOTHING else…)

ETA: oh yeah, MosesInvests reminds me–did everything go well with the grandbaby?

Barb June 22, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I already answered that somewhere. She was born with two holes in her hear and some other problems. She will have open heart surgery next month. Chrissy has yet to even hold her.

Callyson June 22, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Oh my God…Barb, I am so sorry. Let me know if you prefer I don't do this, otherwise I'll keep her in my prayers.Got your e-mail and will answer later this weekend. Meanwhile, my best to all of you…

Barb June 23, 2012 at 12:09 am

Fuck me, I just saw what I wrote. Excuse me for what I said, "she will have open heart surgery next month" I am so tired and half crazed. Mina will have open heart surgery next WEEK, not month.

Mina has yet to eat anything. She will not take breast, nor formula.

I'm positive that things are going to turn out well.

trampndirtdown June 23, 2012 at 12:37 am

Oh Barb, I've been away from Wonkette for a few days so this is news to me. Best wishes for a speedy recovery for Mina.

redarmybarbie June 25, 2012 at 1:49 am

Barb,

Sorry I'm late to this, I just caught up on all the info. I'd just like to say congratulations, and that everything's going to be fine (not that you needed me to tell you that).

Nonetheless, your family is still in my wishes, and I hope Chrissy gets to hold the baby soon. =)

PubOption June 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Judging by the spelling and grammar, most of the comments on the Barack Obama website are from teabaggers. So, which of the Republican talking heads sent them to that site?

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Weasel Zippers picked up the story, so there's your source.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Sure, it is a little tacky… and I would like to see more email from the WH that don't include requests for money.

But someone called FLOTUS "Michelle Antoinette". I may have to trace an IP address and kick someone's ass for that.

Guppy June 22, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"Let them do push-ups!"

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:16 pm

"Let them eat balanced meals conforming to the USDA's 2010 dietary guidelines"

Butch_Wagstaff June 22, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Damn Michelle Antoinette with all her fancy thinkin' that, when they hit age 12, children shouldn't weigh more than they're parents.
Now I'm off to buy a case of Mountain Dew and cakes we like that are big as tires at Sam's Club. Fer Freedum!

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Really, it's the least Dick Cheney could do…

BlueStateLibel June 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm

You're all missing out on the endless ways you'll be able to torment wingnut friends and relatives with this. "In lieu of flowers," I'll tell the grieving widow, "I made a donation to Obama's re-election campaign. I know (insert name of dead wingnut uncle) would have wanted it that way."

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Actually, that's really clever!

mrpuma2u June 22, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Fabulous in a passive-aggressive gotcha last way.

fuflans June 22, 2012 at 8:51 pm

back in '08 i did that to a bunch of wingtards: donated to bamz then block quoted an entire nest of wingtard addresses as potential donors (they had been tormenting mr fuflans…).

i hope they still get emails from jim messina.

Blueb4sunrise June 22, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Well, my impending nuptials were cancelled because of the Gay Cheney wedding!!!!!
So no gift for you Barry.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Roman Emperors did this, Mr Proconsul President. You might want to rethink this edict

lovelalola June 23, 2012 at 12:05 am

So did Mussolini, ftr.

mrpuma2u June 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

When Barry O frees the weed, he will get some $$ from me, which is to say most likely never.

Chill_Bill June 22, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Not to be outdone, Willard will start asking that you rollover your 401K's to his campaign fund.

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:18 pm

"Give them to me now, or I will take them anyway later"

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Ha ha, like anybody's 401K still has anything left in it!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 23, 2012 at 7:14 am

Despite the fact that it's almost all capital gains (thank you, Steve Jobs), it's not taxed at the billionaire's preferred rate of 15%, so fuck Mitt … I'm actually going to need what's left.

Barb June 22, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I'm home, what did I miss? Please, someone fill me in.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Editrix gay married Josh to Jack! Or whatever his name is, I forget. You know, Ginger.

Chichikovovich June 22, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Not much. We mostly just sat around complaining about how much we missed you.

Didja kick ass in the poker tournament?

Barb June 22, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Chich, I got me a royal flush! Okay, the poker tourney was on a break and I went to a poker machine to smoke and drink and got a royal flush, lol.

Man, I was up a TON of money at one time and then I went down, down, down.

The limo driver knew not to speak to me this morning. I was a grumpy bunny and he just drove and kept quiet.

Met lots of interesting people, ate a lot of awesome food and now it is time to grab fate back and fix everything that is wrong right now.

Chichikovovich June 22, 2012 at 5:03 pm

That's the way those tournaments are set up, if I understand right – pots wax and wane, but in the end one person gets it all. But still, though I'm no expert on video poker, my impression is that a Royal Flush pays off pretty well on one of those machines. So you can buy the cats the gourmet chow this month.As for the other dimensions of fate, remember that you and your daughters/grandchildren are always in our thoughts.—

Barb June 22, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Thanks Chich! I am just glad to be home.

bobbert June 23, 2012 at 2:16 am

Oh, did you see my kid?

Barb June 24, 2012 at 1:13 am

Did you impregnate me?

MosesInvests June 22, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Hey, Barb, I'm trying to increase the size of my p-ness. Should I post:
A: Trucknutz
B: BALLS
C: Hitler!
D: ___ Libel!
or
E: All of them, Katy?

Blueb4sunrise June 22, 2012 at 4:23 pm

see just below.

Barb June 22, 2012 at 4:49 pm

If you post, "I love you, Barb" people tend to get really generous with the p-ness. I know that I do.

MosesInvests June 22, 2012 at 4:52 pm

You know I love you, Barb. But you're right, it bears repeating.

Barb June 22, 2012 at 4:59 pm

And you just got more p-ness. See how well that works out.

Love you back.

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Vaginas. Lots of vaginas.

SorosBot June 22, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Well we all missed you! Oh, and I love ya too Barb.

Barb June 22, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I love you and Miss Taken!

SexySmurf June 22, 2012 at 4:02 pm

OT But why does Full Metal Jacket dude and Chuckles, Texas Norris want to "trigger" my vote? Is it a veiled threat? Is this some sneaky ACORN/Black Panther shit? I'm scared; someone hold me.

TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 4:25 pm

"The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive."

SorosBot June 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

OT, but is anyone else getting ads from the fucking NRA with that idiot Chuck Norris and some crazy old man? They really don't know the audience here.

Callyson June 22, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Not here–so nice not to live in a swing state…

MumbletyRadio June 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Barack, I know we inhabit the Greatest Nation Ever and all — and the wedding industry isn't suffering nearly as badly as actual marriage longevity rates are — well that would become my point, you are targeting the wrong sector. Figure out how to milk cash from the DIVORCE phenomenon that's made an example of us to the world for, dunno, decades! If you could put your campaign's hive mind to work on deriving some returns from newly-single party animals that the Mitt-Mormon contingent won't touch with a ten-foot clothesline? CASH COW, just sayin'.

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm

"Getting divorced because you can no longer stand your spouse's politics? Looking for a way to get rid of cash so you don't have to split it with that horrible person? Give it all to me! He/she won't get a penny!"

PubOption June 22, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I thought that the Romney campaign was supposed to be gaffe-prone. Is the Democratic party trying to fight fire with fire?

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Actually, they tried to throw water on it, but, you know, fracking…

Extemporanus June 22, 2012 at 4:16 pm

In lieu of an unfist on this comment, please donate a few choice words to President Barack Obama on my behalf.

Steverino247 June 22, 2012 at 4:28 pm

How about this?

Mr. President, they hate your guts, so go after them as hard as you can. You'll energize the base and destroy the meme R's pass around that the last D with balls was Harry Truman (until he fired MacArthur).

sullivanst June 22, 2012 at 4:35 pm

"Give 'em hell, Barry"?

Extemporanus June 22, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Oh thank you! It's just what I've always wanted!

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Too bad Obama doesn't just have 32 billionaires who can buy him the election instead.

Dr. Nick Riviera June 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

That's the polite Romney way.

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Yeah, I'm sure this disgusting, clueless act is going to send all the fence-sitters into the Romney camp. It's like he fucked Jerry Sandusky's adopted son, in their email!!

Dr. Nick Riviera June 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

But people said mean things about Obama on a public forum about Obama! Surely these are all dedicated Obama supporters and independents and not wingnuts who troll the website.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 22, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I wonder if Mary Cheney used this idea?

Dr. Nick Riviera June 22, 2012 at 4:59 pm

As a cynical person, even I feel like nobody is so stupid or their feelings so delicate that a breach of decorum convinces them to throw up their hands and let the homophobe racist plutocrat win unless they already were going to do so.

Callyson June 22, 2012 at 4:59 pm

My birthday is September 15, right around when people start to pay attention. Perfect!

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 22, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Given the number of discussions on NPR recently about campaigns receiving money from texting ("Here, Barry! Twenny bucks and a shot of the twins!"), I really am surprised at this idea.

His campaign last time was all about small donations. And there's nothing attractive about the world of campaign finance in the retaliation votes of 2010, that can't be solved by something that remains as grassroots as 2008 did.

Fuck you, Koch. Fuck you, Willionard. My twenty is still good in these here parts… right?

glamourdammerung June 22, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Looked at the source, then figured I would wait to see if someone credible reported this happened.

Dr. Nick Riviera June 22, 2012 at 5:16 pm

If they seem desperate, it's because they *are* desperate. Republicans have every billionaire lining up with their checkbooks and able to give unlimited funds.

TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Only a French hippie would say "lieu." Unless they're talking to their ami Lou, which is totally different. Carry on.

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 6:02 pm

What does he need money for? How much could it cost to buy a tape recorder, and just keep playing Romney's actual words over and over?

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Alt-text suggestion: "And look who's coming along on the honeymoon!"

TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Carrying the ice cooler, I'm sure. Stupid white people.

LetUsBray June 22, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Welcome to the world of Citizens United Next Tuesday. I expect Fat Tony and the Scalitos knew the Democrats would have to get creative/aggressive/desperate to keep with with the corporate crowd's massive advantage.

alteredimages June 22, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Give at the $5000 level and they'll name a drone after you and send pictures of an adorable Afghani orphan. And pictures from the drone of the moment he was orphaned by a Hellfire rocket.

TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Re the photo: nice allusion to Neil Young's On The Beach. Very nice indeed. Very, very nice, AAAAAARRRGGG THE SHARK PEOPLE THEY'RE HERE OH JESUS MY LEG GLUUURRRGG!!!!

bobbert June 23, 2012 at 2:57 am

I will certainly be sending Bamz a little more munnies, because it's not really "the lesser of two evils". It's "the better of imperfect and evil".

Nevertheless, and speaking (obviously) only for myself, I think this is a really stupid, tacky idea. . I know they need money, but this is a little too reminiscent of "intercepted".

hellbabe June 23, 2012 at 8:41 am

and should I come in to a little money or win the lottery? Maybe he'd like to be the beneficiary on my insurance policy…oh, wait, he's got that "kill list" thing going on

DahBoner June 23, 2012 at 9:51 am

Careful people!

Barry is a smooth, cold-blooded killer who will call in a SEAL assasin to take out any pirates molesting your gravy boats!!!!!

ttommyunger June 24, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Frankly, I am so tired of being asked for money I've even "Unsuscribed" to emails and blogs I believe in.

Tundra Grifter June 25, 2012 at 1:17 pm

ttu:

Thanx to Wonkette I'm on the right wing nutz email roster – it is astonishing how my address has been passed around.

The latest was a fundraising plea from Newsmax on behalf of Sheriff Joe.

Quite entertaining!

ttommyunger June 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I oftentimes find myself pining for the paper and snail-mail days when you could wipe your ass on something and return it…..(sigh)

Barb June 23, 2012 at 1:37 am

Hey Trampn, good to see you!

I have faith that everything is going to turn out well. Then I have moments where I think that the cheese in my fridge is conspiring to make some sort of evil fondue that is going to turn against me.

I've unplugged my microwave oven, just in case. Yeah, good luck melting that cheese in the desert!

Oh shit, be right back…….

bobbert June 23, 2012 at 2:14 am

"Next week" meaning "Monday", I hope. This is way scary, but the docs can do some pretty amazing stuff these days. Have hope.

BTW, your evil fondue reminded me of an old (Larsen?) cartoon — a guy standing at his fridge with the door open, and on one shelf there's a little bowl on tiny legs pointing an automatic at him. Caption:
"When potato salad goes bad".

Barb June 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

I miss Gary Larson. Remember the man clown is about to hit the woman clown in the face with a pie? "Not on the first date"

bobbert June 25, 2012 at 2:22 am

In, as they say, my dreams.

No, he's grinding at the WSOP, and you may have seen him, but how would you know?

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