It's never too late to complete your degree

If you were a governor, would you ever appoint someone to a state board, just because of his or her race? Of course not, that would be racism, even if that person’s race has been historically underrepresented on that board, and the board’s mission involves tackling persistent racial inequalities! That’s why Ohio Governor John Kasich wants to make it absolutely clear that when he says “On any board you want some diversification” in regards to his appointment of an ex-Ohio State quarterback to the state’s Board of Education, he is not referring to the fact that the dude is black, but rather to his background. His background involves not graduating from college, and not submitting an application for the job, and completely making up the supposed charter school that he claims to have founded. Also he lives in the country and maybe he’s kind of Jesus-y?

Stanley Jackson (Mr. Jackson if you’re nasty, or if you’re addressing him politely) did not submit a resume for his fancy new job on the Ohio Board of Education, but since already has a Wikipedia page highlighting the fact that he was on the Buckeye team that won the Rose Bowl in 1997, he obviously doesn’t need one because that is the 21st century equivalent. The Buckeyes were using a weird two-QB system that year and so the dramatic winning drive was actually led by Joe Germaine, who went on play in the NFL, but whatever! Stanley Jackson helped, and also played in the Canadian Football League and the “Continental Indoor Football League,” whatever that is. Oh and also he never graduated from Ohio State, so he knows the value of a good education, which is to say that he knows that if the Montreal Alouettes come calling, why bother, amiright?

Anyway, everyone seems to think that being educated isn’t really a necessity for being on the Board of Ed. Ohio law apparently has affirmative action for rural residents on its school board (really! quotas!) and Jackson is “a man of faith” (faith in Christ? Yes, that’s a good bet) and it’s a traditionally partisan appointment and that seems to be enough for everybody. A Democratic state senator who used to be on the school board says that “His background doesn’t sound like historical qualifications for the position, but there are no specific qualifications except a willingness to work hard.”

Somewhat more troubling is Jackson’s status as “the founder of Masters Preparatory Academy Charter School a singer [sic] gender school for African American males,” since it’s apparently illegal for someone involved in a school to serve on the Board of Ed. But that’s OK, because it turns out that this school doesn’t really exist, so how can it be illegal for Jackson to run it? Check and mate, college-educated haters. [Plunderbund/Raw Story/Columbus Dispatch]

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  • nounverb911

    "OSU buy a degree"? Sounds better with USC.

  • There's this particular young'un up in Alaska that would make a perfect appointee, then. Republican, too.

  • I know all my best job experience came on the football field: hand, blow, rim…

  • Crank_Tango

    I often work hard, but then I take a pr0n break and then go back to working normally.

  • I didn't realize Whitney Houston spawned a third sex.

  • i believe it's actually called, THE Ohio Board of Education.

    …because they're mouthbreathing idiots.

  • ttommyunger

    The only thing Kasich could do to surprise me is stay out of prison.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Yes, yes, but how is his grammar?

    • She's fine, thanks for asking. A touch of lumbago, but she gets around OK.

      Thanks, folks, IBHAW.

    • IncenseDebate

      She's doing very well after her hip surgery, thank you.

      • Sometimes they're just a little too obvious, aren't they?

        • IncenseDebate

          Yes, sometimes old people are. Especially the ones with health problems.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      No negro dialect.

  • So Maurice Clarrett + Andy Katzenmoyer are unavailable…?

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Go Old School!!!
      Art Schlichter

      • MoeDeLawn

        You bet!

        • Blueb4sunrise


      • PuckStopsHere

        I thought Schlichter was a mortal lock for this job.

  • Boojum

    He is the founder. It is just still losted.

    • scvirginia

      Does that mean that he is still foundering?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Should have appointed Jim Tressel. Just because he was sporting sweater vests before Rick Santorum ruined them for all mankind.

  • edgydrifter

    He's smart enough to know school is for nerds.

  • SexySmurf

    Am I the only one who thinks it strange he would name a school for African-American males "Masters"?

    • PubOption

      The opposite would be worse.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Maybe it was founded in the image of Tiger Woods? Lots of sexting and cheating on your beautiful wife with whatever girl you can impress with your money at the local Denny's, HoJo's or Cracker Barrel?

    • widestanceromance

      There was already a court house named 'Hangintree.'

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    In Ohio, "fucking idiots" is a significant demographic that requires representation. Starting with the governor's office.

  • SoBeach

    We tried letting educated snobs run education and look where it got us. Teachers aren't even allowed to beat the love of Jesus into kids any more. No wonder the kids are walking around in baggy pants and listening to stuff that can't even be called music.

  • MissTaken

    Kasich is the bestest JOB CREATOR evah! He hires people who don't even apply for jobs!1! Or are remotely qualified! Yay!1!!

  • supernoun

    In Ohio, football > literacy

  • SheriffJoeBiden

    Enough of this newsworthy piffle! At this very moment, a lady might be saying "vagina" in Michigan and you expect us to care about this education nonsense? Know your audience, man.

    • TribecaMike

      Agreed. This is twattle.

  • Indiepalin

    If Kasich wants an exemplary student athlete from The Ohio State University, Maurice Clarett is a no-brainer.

    • PubOption

      No argument there.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Jerry Sandusky is probably mad he didn't transfer to this mythical school.

  • MrFizzy

    Equal opportunity taken to its most extreme – where everyone has an opportunity to do everything, regardless of skill, education or desire. Damn socialist Republican governor.

    • Chichikovovich

      Sniff, sniff. So sad that Roman Hruska isn't alive today to see the whole Republican Party embrace his famous principle.

  • IncenseDebate

    Singer gender? Sounds a little queery.

  • Shypixel

    Pffft. You don't need no college degree to know that Nobama is a commie kenyan.

    • James Michael Curley

      I just did on of them Google searches on Obama Kenyan and it got 9,730,000 hits so it must be true.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Excellent — so when will Kasich be appointing a consumer to the banking commission or a non-homeowner to the Housing & Redevelopment Board? Or does he just appoint illiterate unqualified fools to the positions he'd like to see destroyed, like the GOP does with their presidential nominees?

  • gullywompr

    Hey, what do you want? A guy from Harvard Law School?

  • Dildeaux

    We must burn down education in Ohio in order to save it.

  • sullivanst

    Kasich's spox said Jackson “shares the governor’s vision on education.”

    I believe he does: don't provide any education, but lie and say you do. Sounds dead-on.

  • MissTaken

    We dunt need know edukashen

  • CapnRadio

    Are you kidding? Here in Columbus, football IS education. The classes are just extracurricular activities scheduled around twelve Saturdays in August through November (and one Bowl loss in January).

  • SorosBot

    But those edumacated fancy college types insist that the Earth is four and a half billion years old, even though the Bible says it ain't!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    No Child Left. With an Education.

    • sullivanst

      Is our children learning? Then stop them!

  • Stanley Jackson: a man of faith

    That's all the "creed-entials" the guv' needs to hear, pal! (uh, "bro!") You're in! Um: Diversity 1, Legitimate Vetting 0 but like the brass at wsj said, what's the big deal about teachers with degrees? It's no measure of their effectiveness! And effectiveness is measured by character, which in turn, if I may further add, can't be measured in scrolls of paper testifying to some ol' baccal'accomplishments! Heh, heh — go get'em, tiger."
    /educated decisions
    /high-stake charmer

    • sullivanst

      Oh jeez, does the style of shitty sports journalism that used to be artfully skewered by Fire Joe Morgan now pervade "serious" news too?

    • not that Radio

      WSJ is so full of shit, as usual. Public school systems suffer from exactly the same inverted pyramid management structure that I ranted about in other contexts. Everyone always blames teachers, but each new Assistant Deputy Superintendent costs about 5 to 10 teachers, and delivers nothing, educationally. School administrations bloated with managers have driven the increased costs that the WSJ writer decries, but he doesn't even consider that in his screed. The word "superintendent" does not appear in the article.

      And fuck the Manhattan Institute. Neo-liberal claptrap.

  • Chichikovovich

    Listen, you guys can rag on Stanley Jackson all you like. But nothing you say will ever detract from that heroic moment on Saturday November 22, 1997, when he stepped back and threw a beautiful pass right into the arms of Michigan corner André Weathers, who ran it back for a touchdown to secure a 20 – 13 victory.

    Jackson made hundreds of thousands of people blissfully happy that day.

    • Callyson

      Which is more than Kasich can say.

      • Chichikovovich

        Well, like Jackson, Kasich gives some consolation to the people of Michigan, though of course on a much smaller scale than the outflow of joy from Jackson's historic interception.

        We can look at Snyder and say "Well, it could be worse".

    • PuckStopsHere

      When Michigan plays Ohio State I root for injuries.

  • Guppy

    While in Alabama, you have to be a respected professional to get into education, like a chiropractor.

  • Giveusabob

    In truth, this does indeed expand that board's degree of diversity by a wide margin. Might I suggest appointing a stuttering stevedore next?

  • CapnRadio

    a singer [sic] gender

    There should be no sic, Josh. What, you've never heard of Manfred Mann? That's what we call males in Columbus. Regionalisms, yo.

  • owhatever

    Look, Wonkettes, we are talking about the OHIO education system here. Mr. Jackson is a perfect fit, because he was never a teacher, and therefore was never a member of any teacher's union.

  • Callyson

    singer gender

    So, can someone explain what that is? Does that refer to a person who serenades their partner in the sack? Because I could get with a singer gender person in that case…

  • Antispandex

    Well, as it has been said, Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton. After all, what do we need in America, more educated snobby brats who question authority? No! We need more kids who are willing to sign up to go kill muslims…for Jesus, and for us. If we need doctors, we can always invade Cuba.

  • IncenseDebate

    I don't want any education. I would like some discipline from the leather girl with the whip.

  • Ohio was never a state to let a stupid idea stand in their way. As I recall, didn't a republican crony convince them to invest their Workers Comp fund heavily in "rare" commemorative coins . Many of which promptly disappeared into said crony's pocket?

    We Wish We Were In Michigan

    • RayneMan

      LOL…not quite. We wish we were..a lot of things. But not "in Michigan'.

      The land of city-managers and forbidden naughty girl parts? I'll pass.

      No offense. :-)

  • viennawoods13

    Well, in 1995 the then-premier of Ontario, Mike Harris, chose a guy who dropped out of high school in Grade 11, John Snobelen, who owned a garbage truck business, as the Minister of Education. Ah, those were glorious days to be a teacher in Ontario.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    "It is unknown if Jackson obtained a college degree from a different school. "

    If there is one, it's Phoenix…any bets?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      My money is on Liberty or Regents University.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Good for Gov. Kasich for showing the youth of today that if you are born with some physical talents and are a member of the right religion, you don't need to study or even really do anything to get a good government hand out. You wouldn't want that money going to the poor or workers who proved they are commies by being a member of a labor union or something like that.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It is unknown if Jackson obtained a college degree from a different school. Kasich spokesman Rob Nichols previously said Jackson was selected because he’s a father of four, was involved in a Columbus-area charter school, is from a rural district and “shares the governor’s vision on education.”

    That education is for suckers?

    • Giveusabob

      I suppose with the massive debt students are subsequently cajoled into taking on, yes? It must make credit card companies salivate uncontrollably with jealousy.

  • chascates

    I'm ready to be appointed to the Federal Reserve Board. I don't have 2 nickels to rub together but I bet they have good food at meetings.

  • PuckStopsHere

    there are no specific qualifications except a willingness to work hard.”
    Apparently Kasich doesn't realize the dude in question is a blah.

  • Gopherit

    That's nothing. Here in Arizona, we elect Governors with no college education. Try to imagine the kind of people she appoints to boards and such. It's horrific.

  • mavenmaven

    "Jackson is a Republican." Bingo.

  • AncienReggie

    Too also. The board of Purdue University just named Indiana Governor Mitch "Bitch" Daniels board president. Coincidentally, 8 of the 10 board members are appointed by the Indiana governor. Also a coincidence, Daniels is anti-faculty unions, anti-union period, and a vigorous proponent of cutting the higher education budget. So there's that.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Josh: You bring up "Back to School" and I'm going to link to

    Every time.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Did Mr. Jackson hold the G. Harrold Carswell Chair at his pretend school?

    [To save you youngs Googling: After Carswell was accused of being a 'mediocre' nominee to the United States Supreme Court, Nebraskan Senator Roman Hruska rushed to his defense, stating: 'Even if he is mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they, and a little chance?'"]

  • coolhandnuke

    I'll bet $10,000 that Jackson gets replaced by Art Schlichter.

  • RayneMan

    Kasich is a giant douche and turd sandwich, all wrapped into one. (Yes, I live Ohio) Oh, did I mention Koch sucker?

    So, someone unqualified for the job they're (not) doing hired someone unqualified for the job they're going to try (but fail) to do….

    Business as usual, here in Ohio.

  • poorgradstudent

    For balance I insist that somebody put a schizophrenic homeless person in charge of the Cato Institute.

  • DahBoner

    Does he have a big belly? CHECK.

    A whistle? CHECK.

    American USA Gym Teacher Association welcomes it's newest member…

  • Singer gender = castratti

  • extreme_left

    Educated people only give you bad news so it makes sense that if there is less education there will be less bad news and things will be great.

  • OldRedneck

    So-o-o-o-o . . . What's the problem here? After all, stupid people have the right to representation, too.

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