because he doesn't like him

Bruce Springsteen Won’t Even Give Superfan Chris Christie a Handsie

Indeed, 9/11 Eagle, it's all very sadChris Christie has been to 129 Bruce Springsteen shows, dancing, singing along, jiggling, right up there in the front, while the absolute most overrated musician of all time “The Boss” sings his tunes about 9/11 and the farms and stuff. And over the course of these 129 concerts, how many times has Springsteen climbed down to Christie and rubbed him up? Zero times, because Bruce Springsteen is a liberal. Good lord, does this sadden Chris Christie.

The Atlantic‘s Jeffrey Goldberg recently took a break from starting wars to attend a Springsteen concert with the Good Governor Sandwiches, who vented about how the musician will only exchange pleasantries with him instead of being his puppet:

Despite heroic efforts by Christie, Springsteen, who is still a New Jersey resident, will not talk to him. They’ve met twice—once on an airplane in 1999, and then at the 2010 ceremony inducting Danny DeVito into the New Jersey Hall of Fame, where they exchanged only formal pleasantries. (Christie does say that Springsteen was very kind to his children.) At concerts, even concerts in club-size venues—the Stone Pony, in Asbury Park, most recently—Springsteen won’t acknowledge the governor. When Christie leaves a Springsteen concert in a large arena, his state troopers move him to his motorcade through loading docks. He walks within feet of the stage, and of the dressing rooms. He’s never been invited to say hello. On occasion, he’ll make a public plea to Springsteen, as he did earlier this spring, when Christie asked him to play at a new casino in Atlantic City. “He says he’s for the revitalization of the Jersey Shore, so this seems obvious,” Christie told me. I asked him if he’s received a response to his request. “No, we got nothing back from them,” he said unhappily, “not even a ‘Fuck you.’”

Imagine how hard Chris Christie would fap if Bruce Springsteen said “Fuck you” to him.

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Goldberg, who is an unlikable person, seems to sympathize with Christie, in one of those “Maybe Springsteen doesn’t like the way Christie takes a wrecking ball to organized labor, social spending, tax revenue, and other pillars that can make or break a society, but he said a nice thing about a Muslims once” centrist appeals to give conservatives standing ovations on each brief occasion when they stop going out of their way to be assholes:

He doesn’t seem to care that Christie is the sort of Republican many Democrats find appealing, or that Christie breaks left on such issues as Islamophobia (he stood up for a Muslim judicial appointee under specious attack for attempting, his critics said, to turn New Jersey into a Sharia state—if you can imagine such a thing) and drug-law enforcement (he is campaigning for a new law that would divert nonviolent drug offenders away from prison and toward treatment). But Springsteen seems actively uninterested in engaging with Christie. When I asked to interview Springsteen about Christie, his people gave me the brush-off.

C’mon Springsteen, just pinch one of his tits and get it over with.

[The Atlantic via No More Mr. Nice Blog]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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295 comments

    1. Callyson

      Seriously. Bruce should serenade Christie with this gem (relevant excerpts below):

      The marauders raided in the dark and brought death to my hometown, boys
      Death to my hometown
      They destroyed our families, factories, and they took our homes
      They left our bodies on the plains, the vultures picked our bones
      So listen up, my sonny boy, be ready for when they come
      For they'll be returning sure as the rising sun
      Now get yourself a song to sing and sing it 'til you're done
      Yeah, sing it hard and sing it well
      Send the robber barons straight to hell
      The greedy thieves who came around
      And ate the flesh of everything they found
      Whose crimes have gone unpunished now
      Who walk the streets as free men now
      Ah, they brought death to our hometown, boys
      Death to our hometown, boys
      Death to our hometown, boys
      Death to our hometown, whoa!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsjjE8jXDts

      Don't forget to follow up with "and this is why we need to hold Wall Street accountable for once. Isn't that right, Governor?"

  1. BarackMyWorld

    This is why New Yorker Sean Hannity plays country music on his show. Also because he has bad taste in almost everything.

    1. TribecaMike

      That's not country music, that's cheesy bubble gum pop. Real country music is fartin', fiddlin' and farmin'.

    2. Negropolis

      It's why I love how all of the Southern teen rubes fell for Taylor Swift, who is from freakin' Pennsylvania. I realize that, technically, Country music can be from anywhere in the nation, but being a Southerner gives you a certain foot-in-the-door.

        1. Negropolis

          Depending on who you ask, the South can extend all the way up to the border, apparently. lol Let me tell you, for all of the shit that "Alabama in the Middle" PA gets, I can assure you that Northern rural crazy does, indeed, differ from its bat-shit insane Southern counterpart.

          1. Tyrannically_Joe

            I dunno, I remember traveling to Susquehanna U for a rugby game, and the trip up… Well let's just say that I saw more than 0 Confederate flags. More than one or two, also.

            If there is a difference, then I'll say that it's mostly this: I've never been much for the whole "Southern Pride" argument thing, but when you're North of the Mason-Dixon, a giant Confederate flag over the eave of your house definitely really just means the one thing.

          2. Jukesgrrl

            I'm a little late to this thread, but as someone raised in Pennsylvania, I give you my 100% agreement. Those people know exactly what they are doing when they put that flag on their vehicles and/or homes. It's a big, loud announcement they are clinging to their Bibles, their guns … and their racism.

    3. GhostBuggy

      Seanny's intro music is country song about an abused woman finally getting away from and/or revenge upon her abuser (not sure which). He or his idiot producers really are disconnected from any kind of reality or sense of appropriateness.

  2. Texan_Bulldog

    Hey now, don't be dissing The Boss.

    "…his tunes about 9/11 and the farms and stuff…." Sounds like you may have him confused with John Cougar Mellencamp (who is not horrible but he's no Bruce).

    And if Christie wants someone to fawn over him, he better hit the doughnut store.

    1. LetUsBray

      From what I understand, Mellencamp sounds like a good enough guy that I feel bad for disliking his crappy songs idealizing small-town life in a way that betrays no hint of actually experiencing it.

      1. CapnRadio

        Actually, Mellancamp used to live–I'm not sure if he still does–in Nashville, Indiana, or thereabouts. My friend lived down there in the nineties. After a Bob Dylan concert in Bloomington, in which Mr. Zimmerman referenced maybe dropping by his buddey Mellncamp's place, my friend drove us past the abode. It was largish but nothing ostentatious in the least.

          1. GunToting[Redacted]

            Except that part about "Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
            And people let me be just what I want to be." Assumes "what you want to be" conforms with the locals' version of what you should be.

      2. BerkeleyBear

        Eh, I've been known to knock John Cougar, but "Blood on the Scarecrow" and "Life Goes On(Jack and Diane)" are every bit as in touch with growing up in Hicksville,* Indiana as Bruce's tunes are in touch with Jersey life. I just think his sound isn't all that remarkable and he tries so too darn hard to be earnest all the time.

        *Real name Seymour, Indiana – but Hicksville sums it up.

    2. valgal2342

      Love Bruce, I have seen him 4 times over the years. He always played at least 4 hours and we never left disappointed.

      1. HELisforHEL

        Having been to oodles of concerts of every stripe over my many years, his are still incredible. The best bang for your buck, too–he brings it every night and works his ass off. His band is exemplary. One of the best performers in music. One of the most respectable careers in music. And attendees appear to come from every age bracket, so his sincerity isn't lost on younger people.
        I can't think of any American artist who can claim the same.

    3. actor212

      How is it dissing the Boss to talk about topics he covers with his music? I mean, the dude made an entire Woody Guthrie album.

      Jersey has farms, a whole lot of them, many that have nothing to do with raising race and show horses. Jersey tomatoes, for instance. And his entire album "The Rising" was about 9-11

      What pisses me off about the Boss is less his music (altho I can't stand most of his early stuff) as his fans, who tend towards Reagan Democratic and think that jsut because they've worked a 7-11 counter for a few years, they know something about being on the bottom looking up. Its like being an East Coast surfer who loves the Beach Boys: dude, you have no clue.

      This, I think, is where Christie comes from, a faux blue-y fellow.

        1. chascates

          Don't know about that. One of the reviews:

          We were very disappointed in the quality of the sound of this CD There was nothing in any of the discriptions on line to indicate that it was copied from analog tape and may contain some anomalies. This was LOW -Grade quality. It sounded like playing it on an old "45" record player!!!
          We like Mama Cass and have CD's of the Mama's & Papa's which are great sounding.

          Which could be sour grapes as the next one was:
          Upbeat and refreshing as if brand new. Got interested in her all over again from the soundtrack of "Beautiful Thing". Haven't stopped playing it since.

          1. not that Radio

            Sour grapes, for sure. My copy sounds like it was played from an old, scratched record because IT IS an old, scratched record. And that doesn't diminish in any way the quality of her voice on "Dream a Little Dream of Me".

      1. scvirginia

        So we go from a story about Christie having a man-crush to actually being one. Nicely done!

  3. veritass

    I bet Christie is the kind of Bruce fan that thinks Born in the U.S.A. is a patriotic, America-fapping song.

    1. coolhandnuke

      Here's a piece I wrote a few years ago.
      "How do you guys not hear this?" "How are you not seeing this?", the voice pleads and proclaims.
      It's Glenn Beck's voice, and like a narcoleptic nymphomaniac battling nocturnal emissions, he has awakened from a twenty-five year stupor to red-hot scandal. Discovering, for the first time Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" is "anti-American."
      Waxing nostalgic over stone-washed denim, mullets and Gold's Gym t-shirts, Beck, a few weeks ago, voiced his shock and contempt to the song released in 1984….."You get filled with patriotic pride and then you find out "Born in the USA" is anti-American. Beck's went on to align the song with Cuba, the Soviet Union, propaganda and the decay of America.
      It would have been impossible for Glenn Beck to avoid "Born in the USA" in the mid-eighties. It devoured the radio, the video was all over MTV and it was even breifly employed by Ronald Reagan on his '84 campaign before the Boss took action and informed them that the song was about veterans difficulties after the Viet Nam War. It was swiftly removed from the Gipper's playlist. And Glenn Beck was a DJ, a shock jock, at various rock stations all through the eighties and nineties.
      Yet, if Glenn Beck's life were presented like some scared straight Afterschool Special (the 20-minute variety). You could quite possibly fathom how Beck's confusion/selective amnesia with the song is entirely within reason, if it is permissive to use that word and Glenn Beck in the same sentence. However, he may not remember the eighties, they could be one big Beck blackout. He also suffers from ADHD, which I believe his very expensive TV has developed a envy complex because it is the world's smallest big screen TV.
      So without having to delve any deeper into the life and times of Glenn Beck, and to aid his evolution, his transistion from 1952 to 1963/today, I wrote a little song about a tiny little man. Or I changed the lyrics of a very big song about some very brave men.

      1. actor212

        Here's the thing, tho: it's not an anti-American song. It's a very real song about a group of men who served their country when people around them said they should not, and came home not only to find that those same people still loved them, but the people who persuaded them to serve had turned their backs to the vets.

    2. coolhandnuke

      Part II

      Born Again In the USA

      Born up in some Canadian town

      the first lie I spoke was to some other clown

      don't want to end up like that dog in Ayn Rand's book

      that's how I got the teabaggers hanging from my hook

      Born Again in the USA

      Born Again in the USA

      Born Again in the USA

      I got into a little hometown dope

      then they put Jack Daniels in my glass

      sent me off to Junior College with hope

      got drunk, got lost, never found any class

      Chorus

      Had a buddy at station KLAN

      got me a job, got me drunk, got me lotsa blow

      Took a girl to a nice Utah church dance

      she got me drunk, walked 12 steps, fell low

      now were married and wearing magic underpants

      Down in the shadows of some Irish bully

      I'm just another gasbag in Murdoch's refinery

      I'm still lying twenty years down this road

      But I got gobs of gold, a chalkboard and crisis seeds

      I'm in Glenn Beckistan of the USA

      Born Again in the USA

      I am the Glenn Beckistan of the USA

      Born Again in the USA

  4. SexySmurf

    When Christie leaves a Springsteen concert in a large arena, his state troopers move him to his motorcade through loading docks.

    Not because of security reasons but because that's where the fork lifts are.

    1. not that Radio

      When Chris Christie does anything, his state troopers move him through loading docks.

    2. Dashboard Buddha

      Where the fork lifts are.

      That sounds like it could be the title of a children's book.

      Where the fork lifts are: A child's primer on why voting Republican is almost always a bad idea.

      Excerpt

      Here we see Grandma Sanducci. Grandma Sanducci lost her home to a casino expansion and now she lives in a box. Freeze grandma freeze.

      Here we see Tommy. Tommy's school was closed and all the mommies and daddies got vouchers to send Tommy to the school of their choice. So sad! The vouchers don't even cover the tuition of the cheapest school and now Tommy sits at home surfing porn on mommy's computer. Surf Tommy, surf!

      1. Negropolis

        There was an old lady who lived in a shoe…because Republicans policies foreclosed on her home. She had so many children, she knew not what to do…because Republicans outlawed abortion.

    3. Ruhe

      Brilliant! Sometimes you have to pause to point out the obvious. But kudos to the editor who made the subtle decision to let that sentence get into the final version of the article. Well played undercover liberal editor, whoever you are.

  5. tbogg

    Did anyone ever consider the fact that Bruce won't meet with Christie because he doesn't want to get trapped in Christie's gravitational pull, circling him forever?

    1. DemmeFatale

      Bruce has WAY too much class for a slob like Christie.
      HIS gravitational pull is a force of nature.

      OT:
      That is an awesome looking pup!
      English Cocker?
      (I used to have a Blue Roan named Chaucer. What a great dog!)

  6. scvirginia

    Poor shmoe went to all the trouble of becoming governor just so that he could get his idol's attention, and pfffttt! I could almost feel sorry for him, but nyah.

  7. CrunchyKnee

    Now, I actually like Bruce. Well, not enough to steal any of his tunes via the Piratebays, but enough to say, yeah, the dude is all right.

  8. TribecaMike

    Tell them soul-suckin' preachers to come on down and see
    Part man part monkey, baby that's me

    1. Chichikovovich

      Bruce will sit back right easy and laugh…when the Big Man busts the city in half.

  9. not that Radio

    When reached for a comment, zombie GG Allin said "hell, no! I'm not touching that guy. Disgusting."

    1. CapnRadio

      Wow. A GG Allin reference. I'll not be able to eat all night, thank you, based on one part giddiness and three parts nausea.

      1. not that Radio

        My friends were going to see him "perform" at The Exit in the early 90s, and they asked me if I wanted to go. "No fucking way. I don't want to come home smelling like poop." So they went, and I stayed, and I had a decent time by myself. They came home about 4 hours later, smelling like poop.

        "How was it?"

          1. not that Radio

            Nobody was in a particularly talkative mood when they returned. And I'm sure the cab driver has not forgiven them.

        1. CapnRadio

          AND re: Exit. The club ballsy enough to be just outside the Greens. I don't think I ever had the sand.

      1. Negropolis

        Yeah, but he's a riot on Sunny in Philly, and his preformance as The Penguin in the second Batman flick was brilliant if viewed ironically.

  10. JoeHoya

    Man, I know how Christie feels. I've been to plenty of Springsteen concerts and he hasn't once acknowledged my presence, either.

        1. jodyleek

          I made mad, passionate love to Michael Gurley on more than one occasion. And, you get extra p-points if you even know who that is.

          1. jodyleek

            If he does, I sure don't know. Tell you what though, he was diminutive, but not where it counts if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Hung like a horse, that one. Or, maybe it was because he was so short, his dick seemed huge. I need more wine!

          2. shiningmathpath

            his bio on Wikipedia does read like a Wonkette post

            "Michael Gurley was also co-host of the Los Angeles based public-access television cable TV comedy show "Boobs!" …"

          3. jodyleek

            Ah, yes Boobs! Have you seen Boobs? The title of the show was far funnier than anything that was ever on the actual show.

        2. Beowoof

          I rode an elevator with OJ Simpson when the Bills had training camp and Niagara University. He didn't have his knife with him so it worked out okay for me.

          1. James Michael Curley

            At 40 Jagger had moves like an old lady running for a bus. Since its "Political Uncorrectness Day" one can say he moves like a spastic old lady running for a bus. But, BUT the sucker's going to be 69 in a few weeks and at that age he moves like a 25 year old spastic running for the bus.

        3. flamingpdog

          Ike (the Preznit, not the one with Tina) stuck his head out the windlow and waved at me when he drove past in a motorcade on his way from Andrews Air Force Base to the White House.

          1. Negropolis

            I'm sure you're going to tell us, next, that Moses greeted you on his sojourn through the Sinai, too, eh, wiseguy?

        1. redarmybarbie

          Well, he turned her down so we'll never know for certain, but we're preeetty certain they were getting high back there.

          And no, I don't understand why my uncle would consistently buy front-row tickets to several concerts in a row and NOT go backstage with when invited. It's a mystery to me…

      1. UW8316154

        Nirvana, Mudhoney, Soundgarden, Tad, The Gits and more played at my club at a Sub Pop record release party in 1989.

  11. shiningmathpath

    "They’ve met twice—once on an airplane in 1999, and then at the 2010 ceremony inducting Danny DeVito into the New Jersey Hall of Fame"

    New Jersey Hall of Fame — discuss.

      1. shiningmathpath

        Not sure a state "Hall of Fame" makes sense in the first place, unless they are celebrating something the state had a part in.

        Paul Robeson was born here — hooray for us!

        (I do have many relatives in NJ)

        1. Blueb4sunrise

          Well, yeah. It's a fairly pointless, maybe Chamber of C. thing to do, I just meant that at least they didn't fill it with assholes.

        1. Dashboard Buddha

          Actually, I was thinking about having it painted right on my pale flesh. Hair might be a problem, but I'd be willing shave.

      1. shiningmathpath

        the guidette airhead apparent is an authentic NJ creation, at least

        but probably won't happen — this is a prestigious institution, sir!

        1. James Michael Curley

          Did she ever pick her feet in Poughkeepsie? Don't lie to me. I know she sat on the edge of her bed and picked her feet in Poughkeepsie.

          1. HELisforHEL

            Nice quote, sir, nice quote (I use it in conversation to this day and people look at me as if I was on one of Christie's orbiting moons).

          2. James Michael Curley

            Sometimes I like to use it with a William F. Buckley accent and leer; “POE – kip – See”.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Chris Crisco as governor is the titular head of the committee which oversees said New Jersey Hall of fame. This year just before the announcement of this year's honorees, the "E Street Band" was removed from the list; this as reported by the newspapers and/or their electronic versions thereof.

  12. Joshua Norton

    Once upon a time New Jersey was considering making "Born to Run" their official song. Until it finally occured to someone that having the word "suicide" in the state song wasn't really a very good idea.

    1. johnnyzhivago

      You also have to figure a state would not want to identify itself as a "death trap, a suicide rap" that you should "get out of while you're young".

    2. James Michael Curley

      That was mostly Urban Legend. I have tried to find a legislator who remembers that and none do (only asked three or four, but they were old). What is fact is that in 2005 Congressman Frank Pallone, 6th district NJ, offered a resolution HR 638 to: "Congratulating Bruce Springsteen of New Jersey on the 30th anniversary of his masterpiece record album "Born to Run," and commending him on a career that has touched the lives of millions of Americans." but in a truly unusual move for such a piece of congressional fluff is that it was killed in committee (two committees, in fact) As of several weeks ago the Congressman still does not know why and doesn't recall many instances where such similar resolutions went down.

  13. DonnyKerabotsos

    Fat man sitting on a little stool
    Takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you…

    That lyric just got ten times creepier than it already was.

  14. BlueStateLibel

    Several hundred pounds later and the cool kids still won't give him the time of day. Oh cry me a river.

    1. Stevola

      I read that as " Seven hundred pounds" at first.
      Then I re-read it because that didn't seem to be enough.

  15. Chichikovovich

    "He doesn’t seem to care that Christie is the sort of Republican many Democrats find appealing"

    Huh. That's surprizing. Because if that is actually true, I care a lot. If many Democrats find that union-busting manatee appealing, the party is in worse shape than I imagined.

    1. not that Radio

      Jeffrey Goldberg imagines that Democrats find Christie appealing. He doesn't actually know any Democrats, nor has he seen any data that would support this claim, but it sure feels right.

    2. James Michael Curley

      I haven't talked with a single Democratic Party Oofficial in the last six months to whom Christie 'appeals'. Even the storied buddy-buddy deal on pensions and the budget in 2010 were not because Chritie's policies appealed to Sweeney and Norcross, it was because those two wanted a little vengeance on northern NJ and thought the time was right for the south to rise. Christie then, repeatedly, stabbed them in the back.

  16. Blueb4sunrise

    This liberal obsession with celebrity has got to……uhhhhhh……..anyway…..

    I think Bruce is too nice a person to actually tell Christie to shove it up his enormous ass; and I will not presume to speak for Bruce, so let me just say, for myself,
    "Governor Christie, shove it up your enormous ass."

    Thank you for your time.

    Edit: Forgot…and Jeffrey Goldberg can stick his head up Christie's ass and pull it back out with his teeth.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Hoffa's in the end zone of Giants Stadium. Why do you thing the Google satellite pictures are so blurry since they started tearing it down.

  17. Joshua Norton

    "Springsteen seems actively uninterested in engaging with Christie"

    Reminds me of that great scene from "Casa Blanca"

    Ugarte : You despise me, don't you?
    Rick : If I gave you any thought I probably would.

  18. Chichikovovich

    because Bruce Springsteen is a liberal.

    Ahem. Mike Dukakis is a liberal. Hilary Clinton is a liberal. Obama is a liberal. Liberals make nice with the Chris Christies of the nation.

    Bruce Springsteen is a tireless, passionate advocate for the poor and downtrodden, and a champion of working men and women.

    1. scvirginia

      It's sad what Luntz & Dems have conspired to make of the l-word, but I disagree that Dukakis, Clinton & Obama are really liberals. Democrats, sure, but not liberals.

      By my definition, a liberal needs to have a strong commitment to 1) civil liberties and 2) being sure that government treats all of its citizens with equal concern & respect.

      1. Negropolis

        I think you missed his point, which I think was how the word "liberal" isn't properly defined in this country.

    2. Chet Kincaid

      Bruce Springsteen is a musician who often writes songs about issues and people, not a "tireless advocate and champion for the poor and downtrodden." He has played a lot of benefits, but this does not make him a professional activist. Is it fair to lionize people who just say the right things in songs over the people who have to get their hands dirty to actually accomplish something?

      1. Chichikovovich

        In what way does anything I said slight in any way the great work of people who are "actually getting their hands dirty to actually accomplish something"?

        And I raised an eyebrow at "actually accomplish something". Are you really suggesting that imagination-capturing songs (that "just say the right things") have not historically played an indispensable role in struggles for social justice? A bold claim.

        1. Chet Kincaid

          You implied Springsteen has moral superiority to the politicians you mentioned and has actually accomplished more for "poor downtrodden working men and women", as if he is a 24/7 social activist ("tireless champion") and not a full-time musician who is passionate about some causes.

          As to your question to me, MLK Jr. and LBJ got me my rights, not the guy who wrote "We Shall Overcome," as morale-boosting as that song was.

          1. Chichikovovich

            Chet, you know I think you're a great poster and a wise, moral person so I'm not going to push the issue. But I don't understand the hostility to Springsteen or the dismissal of what he has done. People make their best contribution by doing what they do best – Springsteen is a musician who has demonstrated over and over again the ability to capture people's imaginations. He has channelled that ability into supporting and telling the stories of people and communities that have few prominent public advocates. I don't see how those people and communities would have been anything but worse off if Springsteen had channeled that energy and time into 24/7 community organizing instead, since I have no reason to think he has the blend of skills that would make him effective at it. Just as I think that Tinsley, and the folkies who modified his hymn into a protest song, made a vitally important contribution to the human condition, even if it doesn't reach the level of the titanic contributions of LBJ and MLK.

          2. Chet Kincaid

            You don't have to butter me up to disagree with me, and it's not the end of the world to have a difference of opinion! I also don't see where I am being hostile to Springsteen; your comment implied the comparisons. But there is no point in restating my point a third time.

  19. Madam Killjoy

    While "the Good Governor Sandwiches" is well and good (and funny as hell!), I humbly propose "the Good Governor Cheesequake" as an alternate title, should you want to shake things up in a more lengthly story about the large governor, or you know, for an after-dinner dessert story about the bloated sociopath.

    1. BlueStateLibel

      Cheesequake is actually also a rest stop on the Garden State Parkway, where you can fill up high-calories fast food and gas, making "Governor Cheesequake" highly appropriate.

    2. James Michael Curley

      I'm in the Cheesquake State Park area. Keep him out of the lake or all our homes will be under water.

    3. GhostBuggy

      I'm not saying it's better or funnier, but my brain always inserts "Good Governor Gravy" when I see the "Sandwiches" moniker.

    4. bobbert

      There is a large bulk of good pseudonyms for the Governor, but I'm partial to "Chris Crisco".

  20. redarmybarbie

    Well, to be fair, can anyone blame the man? I mean, would YOU want to be anywhere within ten miles of Christie's pie-hole

  21. iburl

    Christie's Top Springsteen Songs:
    Gorgey Days
    Gorge In The U.S.A.
    Gorging in the Dark
    Hungry, Hungry Heart
    Pink Cardiac
    Streets of Philadelphia (Cream Cheese)
    Cruller Me

    1. CapnRadio

      Oh, c'mon. What about "Rocky Road," "Tenth-Avenue Freeze-Pop," "Baby Backstreets"?

      This is just Born to Run side one, all.

  22. Dashboard Buddha

    “Maybe Springsteen doesn’t like the way Christie takes a wrecking ball to organized labor, social spending, tax revenue, and other pillars that can make or break a society"

    Goldberg gets it in one. Bravo, Holmes, bravo.

  23. sullivanst

    Poor widdle chwissywiss.

    Looks like Bruce is trying the "ignore him" approach to dealing with bullies, and looks like it's working a treat.

    Because Christie is a bully. A big, fat, shouty, lying, dumbass, state-harming bully.

  24. Guppy

    If Springsteen did announce Christie's presence to his audience, will Christie have brought anywhere near enough state troopers?

    Anyway, sounds a bit like Merkel and Sarkozy falling all over each other to appear in the same picture as Obama.

  25. MarieDeGournay

    I'll gladly say "Fuck you" to you Gov it will make you feel better. Cause I know it would make me feel better.

    1. James Michael Curley

      There is a shit storm brewing over the precipitous rise in escapes from NJ half way houses. Christie wants everyone to believe it doesn't exist and was its a problem under Democratic Governors also. However the system was set up in 1991 by a company part owned by Bill Palatucci called Community Education, Inc. and part of Christie's former law firm and for which Christie was a registered lobbyist in NJ and DC before he was named as US Attorney. Also between 1991 and 2009 the average number of escapees was under 180 a year – not a very good record. If the figures from yesterday's NY Times article are correct, that rate jumped in 2009 and averages 772. Still Community Education was given a big boost in its new contract this year and was the only bidder accepted.

  26. Dashboard Buddha

    I like Bruce's stance on just about everything…not a big fan of his new stuff. Plus, the dude invented over emoting. I bet if he were singing Happy Birthday to one of his kids, we'd still see veins a-popping on his neck.

    1. DemmeFatale

      I hate the way his voice has changed. Sounds like years of over-singing have taken a toll. I've seen him a bunch of times, and while his concerts have always been long, it seems like playing the enormo-domes with anthems like "Born in the USA' has turned his once expressive baritone into a gravelly mess.

  27. TribecaMike

    Q: Why doesn't Bruce ever jump into the audience when he plays in NJ?

    A: He doesn't want to be a Christie canapé.

  28. miss_grundy

    Christie can switch his allegiance to Kid Rock who will be playing at the Republican convention in Florida. He can hang out with the hillbillies, rednecks and the trailer trash.

      1. MilwaukeeKent

        "They sailed majestically through the air of the auditorium, catching an updraft from a cloud of Marijuana smoke, and finally settled, draping gracefully over the elaborate drum kit."

    1. Monsieur_Grumpe

      I would think that throwing something that large and vile might be considered an assault of some sort.

  29. mavenmaven

    There's an image, Christie shaking his republican moobs during a springsteen concert, while doing the white man overbite dance. Now I won't be able to sleep for a week.

  30. LetUsBray

    Slagging on Christie is easy and fun, even from the opposite coast. But what the fuck is the deal with this Broderite ass-licker Jeffrey Goldberg?

  31. glamourdammerung

    I am just going to note that public shaming does count as interaction.

    Even if Republicans are incapable of shame.

  32. barto

    Christie should just hang with the Nuge, he'd be all over playing Atlantic City for like a pony keg and a box of depends or two.

  33. coolhandnuke

    "I'm a shakin' it Boss."

    Shake it but don't break it Governor, its' already got a crack the size of the Grand Canyon in it.

  34. owhatever

    Methinks Chris Christie is the obese guy pictured earlier sitting nekkid in his chair trolling the Net, only he shaved to get elected.

  35. ElPinche

    Try Skynyrd. They'll be at the RNC, but they can probably cancel a bowling alley gig or two in the meantime.

  36. SayItWithWookies

    From the quotes it sounds like Christie hasn't actually tried to get in touch with Springsteen — has he ever sent him a letter or asked him to dinner or anything like that? I'll probably have to read the article to find out, but it sounds like Christie just went the diva route and demanded he be acknowledged because, I dunno — he's a public figure too and thus they should recognize some common bond and The Boss should suddenly beg for Christie's attention or something?

    If so, Chris Christie is a whiny little princess. And who the hell wants to deal with one of those, even the motherfucker didn't embody every value that Bruce Springsteen despises?

    And shit, if being rich and famous doesn't allow you to refuse to hang out with assholes you can't stand, then what the fuck would the point of it be?

  37. seppdecker

    Most of Christie's "heroic efforts" consist of sucking up Koch dollars like it's the Chocolate Wonderfall at Golden Corral. Have a little fucking dignity, Goldberg.

    And Christie? Fuck you. Hope that made your boo-boo better.

  38. gurukalehuru

    Christie is the sort of Republican many Democrats find appealing…
    He's not quite as retarded as Bachmann or Cain, a bit less racist than Perry, less homophobic than Santorum, more down-to-Earth than Gingrich and not nearly as snobby and elitist as Romney.
    What's not to like?

  39. rickmaci

    Springsteen is justifiably afraid the Imperial Stormtroopers will grab him and he will end up in chained in front of Jabba the GovernorHut wearing Princess Leia's halter outfit.

  40. Negropolis

    BTW, who the fuck do these people think they are? Springsteen's just not that in to you. Get the fuck over it, Baby Huey.

    Remember, Springsteen is The Boss of New Jersey, you're just the lowly Governor of New Jersey. Governor's come and go; only The Boss remains.

    1. DerrickWildcat

      I could never figure out what the deal was with Bon Jovi. Their songs are just a string of cliches. Oh and Eddie Money too also. What's the deal with people liking him?

  41. crybabyboehner

    He is campaigning for a new law that would divert nonviolent drug offenders away from prison and toward treatment …

    Um, maybe not so much anymore?

  42. DrunkIrishman

    Remarkable Springsteen can avoid his bloated, oversized ass, considering it takes up most of New Jersey and metro Philadelphia.

  43. Tribbz

    What Christie wants is for Boss Jeans to give him a shoutout at the show so everyone will cheer and thusly give governor Carbz street cred by association. I bet Googoosha would pay him attention.

  44. valthemus

    Hey! Stop making fun of the fat governor for being a fat big fat fatty fat loudmouth clueless prick fatty of whom many of us disapprove. Fat.

  45. Extemporanus

    "Ladles and gentlemen, kindly put your hams together and welcome to the buffet…CHRIS CHRISTIE and the E STREET LAP BAND!"

    "HELLOOO NEW JER…*URRRPP*…SEY! Yous ready? 'BOUT FRIGGIN' TIME!

    An' I 'WANT', an' I 'TO', an' I 'WANT, TO, EAT, MORE'…

    ♪♫ Got a wife and kids and Monterey Jack,
    I went out for some sides and I never went back…

    Like a liver that don't know when it's slowing,
    I took a long turn and I just kept growing…

    Everybody's got a hungry heart…

    Everybody's got a huh-uh…*UHNN*…*GURGHH*…*wheeze*…*ARRGH*…
    *fart*…
    ♪♫…♫♪♬…♪♫…♪…♪…♪…♪…♪…♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪……………"

  46. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    while the absolute most overrated musician of all time “The Boss” sings

    Jim, I'm not a big Springsteen fan, but go listen to Nebraska or The Ghost of Tom Joad. At his best, Sprinsteen is amazing, and rates up there with Bob Dylan or Neil Young in capturing much of what is right with this country and this world.

    1. smokefilledroommate

      I agree wholeheartedly. My enigma of a father was a huge Springsteen fan. Long after my parents' divorce, that box set came out. I was still just a kid and thought maybe I might come to understand him more by listening to it. The title song from The River made me really sad as it was practically the ballad of my parents. Lost hopes, dreams and consequently, "baggage".
      You know, actually–fuck the boomers and their selfishness. But that song haunts me to this day.

      1. thatsitfortheother1

        Now main streets whitewashed windows and vacant stores
        Seems like there aint nobody wants to come down here no more
        They're closing down the textile mill across the railroad tracks
        Foreman says these jobs are going boys and they aint coming back to
        Your hometown, your hometown, your hometown, your hometown

        1. Oblios_Cap

          Tommy's Song (a hidden track on the Magic CD) is one of these best tributes to a departed friend that I have ever heard.

      2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Sadly, pointing out that the American Dream can fail, or be unobtainable, is an apostasy to Republicans. I guess that is one of the problems when you have no soul and only listen to Country Pop.

    2. James Michael Curley

      My first comment to my friends when coming out of a Springsteen concert in Asbury Park in either the summer of 1973 or 1975 was 'He's trying to out rock Dylan's Tombstone Blues" but I liked it and I was such a Dylan fan I knew all the words to Talkin the World War III Blues and other obscure Dylan. The following fall I found Greetings from Asbury Park on the discount rack of a music store on Liberty Ave in Pittsburgh and played constantly for days. My room mate hated it.

  47. Masrdart

    Not sure who had the bigger man-crush, Goldberg on Christie or Christie on Springsteen

    1. James Michael Curley

      "a corrupt nexus of privatization and patronage that is undermining government across much of our nation"

      The only thing privatization seems to do better when a governmental entity gives up a entity or program to the private sector is to enrich people who can't make it without privatization.

  48. glamourdammerung

    I am still trying to figure out why Christie thinks it is a good idea to go on about his sense of entitlement.

  49. Jus_Wonderin

    "When Christie leaves a Springsteen concert in a large arena, his state troopers move him to his motorcade through loading docks."

    Well, duh.

  50. mnotrtoo

    "On occasion, he’ll make a public plea to Springsteen, as he did earlier this spring, when Christie asked him to play at a new casino in Atlantic City."

    Has Christie ever listened to Springsteen's thoughts on the change to Atlantic City? Or was it just the peppy beat and rockin' guitar licks in that song he was dancing to?

  51. Larry McAwful

    The most overrated musician and the most overrated would-be president: they'd be perfect together! Except for, y'know, how Springsteen could help Christie fight against everything that Springsteen himself believes in.

    I never could get into Springsteen, but was never more bothered about that fact than when he wrote a song about Youngstown, Ohio. That was more painful than not being able to get into the guy who wrote a whole album about Nebraska. But They Might Be Giants wrote a song about the Stone Pony, so they'll remain my most favoritest band ever, and they're millions of times better than Springsteen could ever hope to be. At least.

    1. TribecaMike

      In the eighties during the big copper strike in Arizona, Springsteen put on a benefit concert in Tucson and made a lot of money for the families of striking miners who nobody gave a shit about. Say what you will about his music, but the guy's gotta helluva big heart.

      1. Larry McAwful

        Oh, absolutely! That's part of the reason I wish I could get into his music more. The man's got a big heart, and he stands up for the people he sings about, kind of like Woody Guthrie did. I grew up fifteen miles outside of Youngstown, Ohio, and that whole area was wrecked when the unions were busted back in the 80s. The area's still depressed–so much so that they're greeting hydrolic fracking with open arms in hopes that it'll revitalize the area. It might–but probably not by that much. Eastern Ohio and western Pennsylvania won't be "the Saudi Arabia of natural gas," as some put it.

        I've known conservatives who go nuts over Springsteen, and more than once have I heard them say, "Forget about his politics," as if the Boss would be pleased to count these vermin among his fan base.

  52. PhilippePetain

    Really. These people can't see themselves for who they are. This guy does his best to tear down labor, the working class, works for a party that is everything that this singer he loves is against…. and then wonders why the guy doesn't want to meet him? I mean how in the hell does a person miss that this guy is like kind of the opposite of him, at least ideologically?

    And why on earth does he like Springsteen in the first place? Even a cursory listen to his oeuvre would revel to anyone not completely mired in self-deluding ideology that he does not agree with your worldview in the least.

  53. Oblios_Cap

    Bruce Springsteen Won’t Even Give Superfan Chris Christie a Handsie

    There will be no happy ending to this story.

  54. An_Outhouse

    "When Christie leaves a Springsteen concert in a large arena, his state troopers move him to his motorcade through loading docks"

    I wonder how big the forklift was.

  55. larrykat

    No problem – I can take care of that response Chris is looking for: "Fuck you."

    (And BTW, the crossed-out part of Jim's post is so so so so true… sacrilege!)

  56. James Michael Curley

    I agree that it makes sense considering how devoted millions of NJ people are who have been listing to the home town boy for 40 years. By Urban Legend I meant that I haven’t found any indication that someone who could do something about it bothered to do something about it.At a county committee reorganization I told a state legislator we should make Springsteen’s “We Take Care of our Own” a new state song (also pushing a Congressional candidate to get the OK to use it as the intro to his campaign appearances), but more and more people in these positions need focus groups to decide whether to wipe or use a bidet. Of course Republicans would never use something as French as a bidet.

      1. ttommyunger

        I think someone did shit their britches in one of those flicks a la Ted.Sent from my iPhone

    1. Negropolis

      I bet he's also a bit fan of Garbage and Hole, you know, being from New Jersey, and all.

      Forgive me. I couldn't help myself.

  57. HELisforHEL

    So late to the party–and it's undoubtedly been said, but I can't understand anyone who doesn't get that Springsteen is/has always been a loud and proud Liberal. Hub & I always await the morons who boo him when he plays '49 Shots' at his (amazing, incredible, don't diss it if you haven't experienced it) shows. I suppose they don't know how to read. Or listen to words. Words is hard. Sigh.

  58. bobbert

    I have to remark about most over-rated musician of all time, and it's not specifically about Springsteen.

    Back in the '60s and '70s, a whole lot of really good rock 'n roll happened, stealing shamelessly from blues and R&B and country and folk, and influenced by and reflecting the cultural upheaval of the time (and it was upheaval, even if it didn't all work out).

    Also, technology — stadium shows didn't happen before the power transistor, and the proliferation of inexpensive sound-reproduction equipment meant that the music was everywhere — over and over and over again.

    Two generations have grown up with that same music playing in the background of their lives from their earliest days. They may like some of it, or find some of it cliched, or whatever, but I doubt that anyone under 35 has a clear memory of the FIRST TIME they heard "Rosalita" or "Respect" or "Sweet Jane" or "Gloria".

    The matter is further confused by the fact that many of the musicians from that era are still alive and, being musicians, still playing (that is what musicians do). Opinions about these old farts necessarily vary. Some of us similarly old farts still like 'em because (1) the music reminds us of our youth and (2) we remember when even the now-cliches were fresh, as well as (3) it's still good music. For the younger folks, only (3) may apply. (My 23-yo thinks the Beatles are over-rated).

    "Rating" musicians is a personal matter, anyhow. It's not like there's a standardized test. Carry on.

  59. barefootgurl

    Wonkette, I love you dearly but please refrain from any future dissing of The Boss. Thanks! xoxo

  60. mrblifil

    He spoke to Christie at every concert:

    "Come on now try and understand
    The way I feel under your command…"

    Pretty much says it all.

  61. whatifwe

    Bruce sang Woody Guthrie's song, "This land is your land, This land is my land". I remember singing it in school. Too bad Christi sings it as, "this is your dollar, this is my dollar :(
    Satan your empire will come down-Willie Nelson

  62. carlgt1

    Good for Bruce – in the face of Repug "street cred" absurdities such as Reagan stealing/using "Born in the USA" as if it was some sort of jingoistic march, and Lee Atwater as "blues man" — I'm glad Bruce is sticking to his guns and snubbing these jerkoffs….

  63. prommie

    What kinda grown-ass man has the fucking time, or inclination, to go to 129 Springsteen shows? I find you only need a booster shot once every 10 years or so.

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