THIS ONE'S FOR THE LADIES  5:26 pm June 21, 2012

Here Are The Hottest Conservative Men To Judge The 20 Hottest Conservative Women

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

All of them, KatieIt seems like only this afternoon that we were gazing in awe and wonder on the cartoon peepers (and maybe a little tits and ass) of the 20 hottest chicks in conservative media. How do the men in the office all manage to get any work done, are we right bros? Hubba hubba hubba bork bork bork.

But then we wondered: What men would even be qualified to judge the comparable hotness of slinky minx Ann Coulter as compared to whoever the rest of them were? And could we rank the men who judged the hottest conservative women by the hotness they themselves evince? OF COURSE NOT, men are to be judged on the quality of their work, IDIOT. We couldn’t find Steven Crowder? Maybe he is super hot? We did not leave him out on purpose! Steven Crowder, please send us a glamour shot! Eric Morris from Misfit Politics? We couldn’t find you either! Send us a pic, for us to fap to!

And now, without further ado, we present to you the seven hottest conservative men to judge the 20 hottest conservative women in media! And UPDATE to be TOTALLY CLEAR: These are the men who sat on the panel and judged the hottest conservative women contest. And without further ado again


Here is Quin Hillyer, American Spectator and super hotty.

And here is John Hinderaker. Would you send John Hinderaker to the reeducation camps for wearing glasses, ladies? No you would not!

Here’s John Hawkins! He automatically almost wins for having once stood next to Ana Marie Cox.

Ali Akbar from Vice and Victory and National Bloggers Club. Er …


Dustin Stockton from The Tea Party.net. Look how saucy, like a young Marcus Bachmann! Rowr!

Erik Telford from the Franklin Center. Hotty McMmmmmm! Mama likes a man who likes his meat and taters!

And the winner is … Lee Stranahan from Breitbart, because he looks like he could score us some biker meth.

 
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{ 187 comments }

nounverb911 June 21, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Which one's dating Lindsey Graham?

timbo71351 June 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm

All of 'em Katie.

nounverb911 June 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Sometime it's just too easy.

rmjagg June 21, 2012 at 6:37 pm

all of 'em

Negropolis June 22, 2012 at 4:02 am

I don't know, but if the price is right, they have their chance with Lindsay Lohan, these days, poor thing.

Callyson June 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Thank God I took my masturbation break *before* checking in with Wonkette…

Larry McAwful June 22, 2012 at 10:06 am

I wish I had. Now I have to go get the J. Crew catalogue out of my wife's office and get myself back in the mood…

smokefilledroommate June 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Ali Akbar has that zombie chic.

Generation[redacted] June 21, 2012 at 5:36 pm

brains…. braaaains… conservatards need braaaaaaaiiiiins…

Blueb4sunrise June 21, 2012 at 5:37 pm
doloras June 21, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Why hasn't Pam Geller put him in Guantánamo yet?

HippieEsq June 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I know right? This guy must be blind and deaf (what, I'm muslim?") or possibly a plant by CAIR.

coolhandnuke June 21, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Has young blue teeth Dustin Stockton been going down on Phyliss Schlafly?

mannacler June 21, 2012 at 5:41 pm

What does old cooch taste like? Depends.

LionHeartSoyDog June 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

ew? also.

LionHeartSoyDog June 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

ew?

Tommy1733 June 22, 2012 at 2:14 pm

HOW AM I GOING TO UNTHINK THAT??? curses.

Tommmcattt June 21, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Ugly goes to the bone, don't it?

fartknocker June 21, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Dustin took my Gaydar to Defcon 1.

RedneckMuslin June 21, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Like it really needed to say he was a tea partier.

HogeyeGrex June 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I think "teabagger" might be more apt in this case.

Billmatic June 21, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I am a fat man. I am sad and I am fat.

Fare la Volpe June 22, 2012 at 11:03 am

I wash myself with a rag on a stick.

Designer_Radio June 23, 2012 at 9:32 pm

!! Yay !! My favorite line from all of the 3.5 million Simpsons episodes.

Fox n Fiends June 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Is being a Stage 4 Alcoholic a requirement to work at/for Breitbart?

Butch_Wagstaff June 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Yes.

GeorgiaBurning June 21, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I believe they offer on the job training

Geminisunmars June 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm

No, but it helps.

smokefilledroommate June 22, 2012 at 9:13 am

What's a stage fourhic! alcoholic?

nonbeliever7 June 21, 2012 at 5:35 pm

But….they have great personalities, right?

scvirginia June 21, 2012 at 6:09 pm

No.

rmjagg June 21, 2012 at 6:39 pm

great personalities for what ?

smokefilledroommate June 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm

…if you like to talk about donuts all day.

not that Radio June 21, 2012 at 8:13 pm

That was a typo. You meant to type "grave personality disorders".

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 8:30 pm

PHFFFfffthaHAA-HA-haha, ha-HA…
*gasp*
…ha-HAAAA-HAAAha-haaaaaaaa…

Doktor Zoom June 21, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Is it fair to simply show their photos? As conservative men, surely their hawtness is measured in terms of a complex formula that considers their annual income, the fervor with which they've fellated Grover Norquist, and the number of times they've invoked Reagan in their blogs?

Callyson June 21, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Yes, but those matters should only be discussed in a quiet room, far from the unwashed masses.

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 6:24 pm

DZ:

No, it's not fair to show their photos. People on the Internets don't show actual photos of themselves. That's kinda the whole idea. Isn't it?

Fairtackle June 21, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I am guessing most of these guys would rather be judging 15 yo boys.

Guppy June 21, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I see the frat boy constituency is well represented.

smokefilledroommate June 21, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Same for the fart boy constituency.

GhostBuggy June 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm

No, frat guys generally seem to be into playing sports and stuff, don't they? The only event any of these guys are winning is a pie-eating contest.

Guppy June 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Dustin Stockton and especially Erik Telford look like the type who'd say "My dad owns a dealership" all too often, though.

Butch_Wagstaff June 21, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"My dad's an important guy. He owns 2 dealerships on the Motor Mile."
An actual statement I've overheard someone say in real life.

GhostBuggy June 22, 2012 at 10:35 am

If this is referencing what I think it's referencing, can we send these assholes to the moon then?

smokefilledroommate June 21, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Lard ass! Lard ass! Lard ass! Lard ass!
Chow Down, Wide Load!

Negropolis June 22, 2012 at 4:04 am

Well, frat guys do play sports, but they are also the ones that seem to balloon in weight as soon as they leave college (and often before).

BoatOfVelociraptors June 22, 2012 at 7:56 am

The best reason to go to a reunion.

Larry McAwful June 22, 2012 at 10:08 am

…or join Facebook.

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:13 pm

"balloon in weight as soon as they leave college (and often before)."

Alcohol has got lots of calories. Lots of alcohol has got lots and lots of calories.

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm

At least Neidermeyer was attractive.

bumfug June 21, 2012 at 5:37 pm

If this is part of your master plan to turn straight guys gay…you lose.

Callyson June 21, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Only if the plan was intended to include the menfolk. We wommenz, on the other hand, are wondering how fluid our sexual orientation might be after all after seeing these photos…

Generation[redacted] June 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Those conservative women must be feeling so sexy right about now.

Nesnora June 21, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I love you, Wonkette.

emmelemm June 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

+1,000

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Nesnora:

So, does that look like the police lineup after your date with the Libertarian?

Nesnora June 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Almost. Same feathered hair-bangs, same… roundish…ness…

Mine had just a bit more hairspray, fake tanner and a crazy glint in his eye…

Sharkey June 21, 2012 at 9:03 pm

May the jury please hand over the verdict?

(opens folded paper)

Guilty as charged!

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Nesnora: Call me old fashioned, but I have one word of dating advice.

"Lunch."

Lunch is the best first date. It has a beginning and an end. Home run or swing and a miss – it's only an hour or so.

Even at it the worst you'll still get to eat lunch, which you're probably gonna be doing anyway.

From the gentleman's perspective, you can keep a lid on the tab. Nothing like going to a bar on the first date and the young lady orders a Baileys' Cream with a Grand Marnier float.

BelleSC June 22, 2012 at 8:22 am

There is even a website for it http://www.itsjustlunch.com/

I do agree with TG. Lunch is the best way to deal with blind dates.

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Meeting for coffee works, too.
It's cheap, it's casual, it's in an open public location in case your date is a serial killer, and it's easy for almost everybody in the world to find a nearby Starbuck's (or other coffee shop).

coolhandnuke June 21, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Except for the meth biker, every last one of these specimens–in their youth– must have had their cut by Mitt Romney & Sons.

LionHeartSoyDog June 21, 2012 at 6:24 pm

wut cut

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm

foreskin?

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 8:34 pm

I was thinking the Cerebral Cortex myself.

edgydrifter June 21, 2012 at 5:42 pm

1. Isaac Asimov's cousin's nephew
2. Not-yet-convicted pedophile
3. John Candy in Cool Runnings
4. Skesis!
5. John Candy on the cover of Tiger Beat
6. A leering mound of ham-flavored taffy
7. Amercia's vagrant philosopher king

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm

#2, Tom DeLay in glasses.

#3 – Great call!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 21, 2012 at 6:34 pm

No. 7 hah! He looks a bit like too stereotypical, doesn't he? Looks like that picture was snapped of him in action at his bomb shelter while he was pondering over which cheap wine to soak in while reading his well-used copy of the "Turner Diaries", doesn't he? What's up with Ali Akhbar there? I know muslim fundies become terrorists over remaining as virgins for FAR TOO long but he looks like he's not even trying to get laid.

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"he looks like he's not even trying to get laid."

If you were existing on 200 calories a day, you wouldn't have much libido, either.

bikerlaureate June 21, 2012 at 10:34 pm

I am extremely jealous of these artfully selected words: "A leering mound of ham-flavored taffy."

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Not least because anyone who invents *actual* ham-flavored taffy will become a billionaire and win the Nobel Prize.

barto June 21, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Well at least Lee had the common courtesy to send you a glam shot taken at the studio in the back of his trailer home, or wherever that is (Arby's?).

scvirginia June 21, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Smug is not hawt! Warez my refund?!

supernoun June 21, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Voodoo Hot-onomics, you mean?

SayItWithWookies June 21, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Geeze — that looks like a random sampling of people in the Los Angeles Greyhound station.

GeorgiaBurning June 21, 2012 at 6:04 pm

funny how they're all in the mens room

supernoun June 21, 2012 at 5:43 pm

They're so hot, you guys. Just look at them. Don't you want to fornicate madly, just from the pictures?

lisawines June 21, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I laughed out loud when I saw this post. BEST!

RedneckMuslin June 21, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Ali Akbar is a conservative? Betcha he gets profiled at every meeting.

Generation[redacted] June 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Shhhh… Don't tell Pamela Geller.

scvirginia June 21, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Yes- he especially likes the strip search part…

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Really? I'd have thought it'd be the body-cavity search…

scvirginia June 21, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Well, yes, but then the others get jealous & start complaining about reverse discrimination…

MumbletyRadio June 21, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Poor misunderstood conserva-dorks. If only Hollywood realized this "Right-Makes-Might"* geek appeal is the missing ingredient that could make The Bachelor a tad infinitely more interesting.

*or something

Antispandex June 21, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Good lord! No wonder these guys have to pay for it!

Callyson June 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I hope the hookers all have disability insurance–they may not be able to continue in their profession if they get one of these guys as a client…

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:27 pm

*motions Antispandex over*
*lowers voice*
It's actually a bit of a scam, because the girls would be willing to whip and beat those guys for free.

smokefilledroommate June 21, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Stockton and Telford–definitely a unit.

SexySmurf June 21, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Is it just me or does Lee Stranahan look like man who owns a very large collection of amateur porn?

M. Bouffant June 21, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Most of it stars him masturbating. Alone.

BobbySilverman June 21, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Actually, he shoots and sells his own amateur porn. NO JOKE. See here. (NTSF) http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/324/deviantlee

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I don't care what you say, I am NOT clicking on that link!

MOG2410 June 22, 2012 at 1:10 pm

my eyessssssssssssssssss!

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:28 pm

This is me registering absolutely no surprise.

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ June 21, 2012 at 5:45 pm

so we're looking at the actual guys who listed their favorite fap targets?

Extemporanus June 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Penis wept.

Dashboard Buddha June 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Oh, I say. Well done!

BoatOfVelociraptors June 22, 2012 at 8:01 am

Not yet.

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Mmmmmight wanna get that checked out…

Antispandex June 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Ana's the one with balls.

Hammiepants June 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Hahaha, you KNOW Lee Stranahan lives in a trailer with a bunch of dead cars scattered around, which he calls "the compound". Also probs lights fires in people's mailboxes (the mail is SOCIALIST!)

Sue4466 June 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Huh, looking at these men you'd think they'd be in no position to judge . . .

Estproph June 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Why is Lewis Black the first guy on this list?!

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Being a self-parody isn't the same thing as being intentionally funny.

Not_So_Much June 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I'm not gay. But now, I'll never even be curious.

TribecaMike June 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Ana Marie Cox knows Big Al Anderson circa 1970? Well, la de da!

ElPinche June 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm

All these men look like they wear toddler boys as feed bags.
That includes John Hawkins even though I'm a huuuuuuge John Candy fan.

PuckStopsHere June 21, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Jeff Gannon. Where in the hell is Jeff Gannon? The list starts…and ends right there with that magic name.

scvirginia June 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm

If that even IS his magic name…

Guppy June 21, 2012 at 5:57 pm

To cleanse the visual palette: BABY KITTENS! BABY KITTENS! BABY KITTENS!

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Bless you!

MittBorg June 21, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Thank you. After that, my visual palette needs a cleansing.

owhatever June 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Ann Coulter is in the list for hottest WOMEN, and then he doesn't make the list for hottest MEN. Something doesn't smell right.

mannacler June 21, 2012 at 6:06 pm

The size of the Coulter member is off-putting for conservative women.

Limeylizzie June 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm

That would be Ann Coulter's cooter that doesn't smell right, because it's a dick.

rmjagg June 21, 2012 at 6:43 pm

one should never use the words ' ann coulter ' and ' smell ' in the same sentence . but he should have made this list anyway …

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Something doesn't smell right because Summer's Eve does not work on penis.

MittBorg June 21, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Coulter.

tbogg June 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm

If you haven't seen Crowder … let's just say he reeks of "Pocketful of roofies"

Fred_Wertham_Jr June 21, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I have never clicked on READ MORE with quite so much trepidation.

rmjagg June 21, 2012 at 6:44 pm

you knew better . i knew better . we all knew better …

Butch_Wagstaff June 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Then we click on READ MORE and it doesn't get better.

coolhandnuke June 21, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Attention Tampa hookers: memorize these faces, in a few months they will be seeking your services.

Extemporanus June 21, 2012 at 6:05 pm

We couldn’t find Steven Crowder? Maybe he is super hot?

Raquel, did you try doing a Google image search for "Steven Crowder"?

[Fuck you, IntenseDebate. Fuck you right in the code.

ADDING: What tbogg said ^^^ times Axe.]

MarieDeGournay June 21, 2012 at 6:05 pm

So many big fat white heads.

TribecaMike June 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

That explains why they don't like to be hugged.

Joshua Norton June 21, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Needz moar zombie Breitbart.

Blueb4sunrise June 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm

C.mon ladeeeeeees. Use your imagination.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h8CMNv-IlU&fe

ManchuCandidate June 21, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Onan List to rule them all, Onan List to find them,
Onan List to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Chronic Masturbatia where the Kleenx lie.

TribecaMike June 21, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Is Arnaud de Borchgrave too intellectual for 'em? http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AX7dM1Etnr4/T9suEGG40vI

Maman June 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

And these fuckers wonder why stories about the "War on Women" persist.

BobbySilverman June 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Here's Steven Crowder. He's the lead "rapper" in this video. BONUS: it features No. 1 conservative hottie Dana Loesch as a skunk (the 2nd "rapper" is her overgrown frat boy husband, Chris)

Among his fellow 'judges', Crowder is like if you mixed Brad Pitt and like, Johnny Depp and then like totally added some Robert Pattinson. Soooooo hawt, you guys!
http://hotair.com/archives/2012/02/11/video-crowd

BlueStateLibel June 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Wow, the kids are gonna love that!

BlueStateLibel June 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Wait, that last guy looks like some dude I met in the Port Authority.

LionHeartSoyDog June 21, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Also. i did not know that Sweet Ana Marie knew John Candy when he was 16.

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I. & John Candy.

Still my favorite movie clip of his:
http://www.johncandy.com/VideoDetail.aspx?VideoID

Fred_Wertham_Jr June 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm
mavenmaven June 21, 2012 at 6:29 pm

The GOP: Boobs and Moobs.

MOG2410 June 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Indeed.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 21, 2012 at 6:35 pm

How many of these guys fap to a picture of Ayn Rand with Lindsey Graham's head super-imposed on her shoulders daily?

rmjagg June 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

they are virtually identical as it is , yet one of them is dead . can't remember which is which …

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 8:43 pm

All of them, Katie?

PhilippePetain June 21, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Dude, Stranahan looks just like Frank Sobotka!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 21, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Rebecca your large funbags keep me from getting angry about A) Wonkette not stopping in Portland in spite of the super gay police and ample supplies of weed and B) you leaving Beckers, Limpballs and Hannitized for rent boys protection off this list. Every one of those turds blog, allegedly….so, like I said large funbags= no anger. Let this be a lesson to you all!

Limeylizzie June 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Let me peel my moistened love-ditch off the computer screen

rmjagg June 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm

eww yuck . ahahahahahahahahahaha

Guppy June 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

No no, the slash fanfic forum is that-a-way.

frostbitefalls June 21, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Lizzie, you are my new feminist role-model!

Limeylizzie June 21, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Thanks so very much!

bikerlaureate June 21, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Best use of eighteen letters and a hyphen EVAR.

Limeylizzie June 21, 2012 at 10:59 pm

That hyphen was a keeper.

MOG2410 June 22, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Here's hoping it was worth it! Now clean off the screen.

TootsStansbury June 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Am I the only one who read Quin Hitler instead of Quin Hillyer?

Dashboard Buddha June 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

you are not alone

barto June 21, 2012 at 6:43 pm

I'm gonna go with bachelor #4 (they are all bachelors, no?), the blah. Always good to have blah in the mix, and once you go blah, you neva go bah.

chascates June 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

And all of them have a sticky picture of S.E. Cupp in their bed side drawer.

Katydid June 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I love you Rebecca!

rmjagg June 21, 2012 at 6:48 pm

they have forgotten diaper vitter ….

Dashboard Buddha June 21, 2012 at 6:59 pm

What if it's pudgy white dudes all the way down?

Dashboard Buddha June 21, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I'm surprised they didn't ask Cal Thomas…oh wait, no I'm not. Had they asked him, he would have cried out at the way the men were treating the fairer sex and then drive away in his Duryea motor car.

imissopus June 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Anyone want to place bets on the collective number of actual human females this bunch of nitwits has ever had sex with? I'm putting it at 1 and taking the under.

TribecaMike June 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Meet the racist on-line gamers.

Callyson June 21, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Yikes! I got her mixed up with those crazies at Smart Girl Politics!

Ana, please please forgive me…deleting the errant post now…

BarackMyWorld June 21, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Wow…Ugly on the outside AND on the inside.

Slim_Pickins June 21, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Looks more like a Chaz Bono look-a-like contest to me.

not that Radio June 21, 2012 at 8:15 pm

What was that website that consisted almost entirely of dudes constantly showing webcam vids of their penises? I am reminded of that for some reason.

bikerlaureate June 21, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Headstate.com ?

not that Radio June 21, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Little Green Balls?

ttommyunger June 21, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Something is definitely wrong when Anna Marie has the smallest set of ta-tas in the group.

TribecaMike June 21, 2012 at 9:20 pm

True, but what's there is cherce.

DesertDingo June 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm

They all look really…uh…smart.

Sharkey June 21, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Hey seriously, if you need biker meth, I'm right here. You can't trust that guy.

gogogodzilla June 21, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I'll be in my bunk.

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 9:21 pm

The only one there who didn't set off my Pod-Person alarm was Stranahan, and only because he's giving off some strong Unabomber vibes…

fivespot June 21, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Gain a bunch of weight, stop masturbating, get a bad haircut, a bad shirt, practice your goofy, guilty grin and bang, just like that, you're on some sort of Republican panel!

MOG2410 June 22, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Like a lot of conferences I attend. There must be a factory somewhere stamping out replicas.

rickmaci June 22, 2012 at 12:55 am

How can you have a list of Repuke male hotness without including Jonah "the Whale" Goldberg.? Come on, Wonkette. You're really falling off your game.
http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/jo

Manhattan123 June 22, 2012 at 12:59 am

Wow that's a tough group to play Fuck, Marry or Kill about.

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Is there such a game as Kill, Kill, or Kill?

neiltheblaze June 22, 2012 at 6:20 am

Mr. Universe – troll division.

calliecallie June 22, 2012 at 9:35 am

Thank you, Wonkette. FYI, the AARP magazine has pics of 20 hottest guys over 50, and they are so much more hawtest! George Clooney, Viggo, and some non-movie stars too. I'd include the link by my office has blocked the page. That's how hot they are, those old guys!

DahBoner June 22, 2012 at 9:45 am

"Anna Marie Cox"

Assfucking?

HuddledMass June 22, 2012 at 10:03 am

These specimens, with the possible exception of Stranahan, could not survive in the wild. I'm guessing they subsist on wingnut welfare or mommy's dime. And mating opportunities sans roofies = nonexistent.

Edith_Prickly June 22, 2012 at 11:58 am

oh Gawd, there's not enough brain bleach in the world to erase those images. Curse you, Wonkette!

tessiee June 22, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Jonah Goldberg is not in this august company? I call shenanigans.

Tundra Grifter June 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm

tessiee:

That certainly can work. But it lacks the finite end that lunch automatically includes.

Hey – say things are going great. It will only make the second date that much better if things ended too soon on the first one.

Starbucks, bars, pubs, etc. are ok but lunch has the all-important exit strategy.

Besides – there's never been a Walk of Shame from lunch.

Well, almost never. Unless they met at the hot tubs for a Nooner…

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