GOLDEN SHOWERS  10:50 am June 22, 2012

Michigan Showers Mitt Romney With Almost $8 Million Worth of Speech In Single Day

by Kris E. Benson

he speaks the languageWhat is not to like about Mitt Romney (R-Money)? What indeed! He has a dancing horse! He does not know what a donut is! He describes $374,000 in yearly income as “not very much”! His wife is a “woman whisperer” who translates the concerns of America’s female-bodied persons to his so very masculine ears! He likes giving DIY haircuts! His net worth hovers at around $250,000,000! So much to adore about Mitt Romney! And now, we are proud to announce that Romney has had his single best day of fundraising yet, raking in around 148 times more money speech in a single day than the median family of four earns in a single year!

Mitt Romney enjoyed what campaign officials described as his single best day of fundraising yet, taking in between $6 million and $8 million during a finance swing through Michigan on Wednesday. “Michigan has been great,” John Rakolta, a national finance co-chair of Romney’s presidential campaign, told attendees during a fundraiser Romney headlined at a local Marriott here. “Today, we will exceed every single event that has been held for Gov. Romney from the beginning of the campaign. So we have set a new record tonight in terms of fundraising.”

Taking the stage, Romney praised the supporters who had written checks to his 2012 bid. According to the campaign, more than 500 people contributed at least $2,500 a piece to attend tonight’s reception just outside Detroit. Individuals who contributed $10,000 got to meet and pose for a photo with the Republican nominee, while $50,000 scored folks an invite to a private dinner with Romney.

A new record! Set in Michigan, no less, land of the perfect trees, lakes, and cars, currently struggling with an 8.5% unemployment rate, rapidly and significantly shrinking median incomes, and ranked 36th in the country in terms of college attainment. How gracious of THEM to give money to HIM, thus quietly accepting their roles in the new American economy.

[ABC News]

 

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{ 58 comments }

noodlesalad June 22, 2012 at 10:53 am

Good thing for Romney that Obama didn't let Detroit go bankrupt. Because I'm sure all the people shelling out $2500 for prime rib were the blue collar assembly line workers who owe their livelihoods to Obama's actions.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 11:04 am

They saved their pennies all year for this event!

MyOwnPlanet June 22, 2012 at 11:26 am

Sad to say, many MI voters will flock to Mitt, even those who have jobs as a result of the auto bailout. I read a letter to the editor of a local newspaper written by a guy whose business was saved by the stimulus but he will be voting for Mitt because Obama didn't bring many jobs to Mich. Now, the guy who was elected because he was going to bring jobs hasn't gotten around to it because he is to busy trying to take the vote away from some people, deny women rights and taking over cities. Bue since he is a repub it doesn't matter that he forgot to create jobs.

Chichikovovich June 22, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Sigh. If the bought-and-paid-for Republican-controlled Michigan Legislature hadn't blocked the bridge supported by the Feds (=Obama) and the Canadian and Ontario governments there would be a truckload of jobs on the project right now. [Though Snyder, to his credit, kept pushing on that one.] Romney wouldn't even commit to saying the bridge would be a good idea.

calliecallie June 22, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Probably the biggest contributor to Romney that day is the guy who owns the competing private sector bridge to Canada. He has bought and paid for the state legislature, and now on to the Presidency! He will stop that second bridge or die trying. The later, we hope.

Chichikovovich June 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Ah, so that's why Romney went all “it's a state issue” on the bridge. I was a bit puzzled at why he would dodge away from something supported by Snyder, all the big three and every other major corporation in Michigan, the Chamber of Commerce, etc.So Maroun bought Romney too. How about that.—

ChernobylSoup June 22, 2012 at 10:54 am

Can't comment; I didn't pay my First Amendment dues this month.

Chill_Bill June 22, 2012 at 11:16 am

Yeah, I can't afford the First Amendment Country Club membership fees either.

Jimmyone June 22, 2012 at 10:55 am

I would like to "shower" something else on this asshole.

jodyleek June 22, 2012 at 11:16 am

Golden!

Fairtackle June 22, 2012 at 11:57 am

After visiting the all-you-can-eat asparagus buffet.

Gratuitous World June 22, 2012 at 10:55 am

I thought Oakland county had given all of its disposable $ to Scott Walker.
haha, just kidding. there's plenty more for golf + Mittens + teleportation devices that allow them to avoid stepping foot in Detroit.

ManchuCandidate June 22, 2012 at 10:57 am

"From now on, we'll all be taking golden showers."

Gold for 1%ers. Piss for everyone else.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 10:58 am

"Woman whisper"…hehehehehehe

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 10:59 am

If they had held the event INside of Detroit, however, they would have gotten a bottle cap and some navel lint.

calliecallie June 22, 2012 at 12:41 pm

It would have been like that blah neighborhood in Philadelphia he went to, only Detroit-style, so scarier. At least his campaign staff learned that lesson.

Negropolis June 23, 2012 at 1:08 am

To be clear, what they'd have given Romney he would have had to duck. Jus' sayin'.

Come south of Eight Mile, Mitt. You were born in the city, right? You'll be greeted as a liberator, I swear!

widestanceromance June 22, 2012 at 10:59 am

Money for street lights? No.
Money for education? No.
Money for the poor (yeah, I know)? No.

Money for a man who could buy and sell the entire state? Of course!

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 10:59 am

$50,000 scored folks an invite to a private dinner with Romney

They dined. He was dipped in his nightly oil bath.

jodyleek June 22, 2012 at 11:18 am

Oil of ofay?

bobbert June 22, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Ah ha ha.

calliecallie June 22, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Then slipped on the magic underwear.

Chill_Bill June 22, 2012 at 11:00 am

Enjoy the Koch shower while it lasts, Mitt!

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 11:01 am

Buckets of rain, buckets of gold.

AncienReggie June 22, 2012 at 11:20 am

…Got all them Foxtards doin' just what they're told
I like the way they parrot pure horseshit …

PuckStopsHere June 22, 2012 at 11:04 am

All those rich cocksuckers only got one vote and at the end of the day that is why Willard ain't even gonna compete here in Michigan.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 22, 2012 at 5:27 pm

That's what the billion dollars in PAC money is for – to sell Mitt to the rubes, just like they sell all the other crap that makes them rich.

Beowoof June 22, 2012 at 11:04 am

Gee a lot of rich guys in Michigan giving this guy money. They must be old and remember his father. And doesn't this prove that the dogma the rich follow is blind to what is actually good for the country and the people who live in it. Rational thought is a thing of the past.

nounverb911 June 22, 2012 at 11:08 am

The piles of gold are just the right height.
–Mittens the Kitten

GuanoFaucet June 22, 2012 at 11:08 am

Individuals who contributed $10,000 got to meet and pose for a photo with the Republican nominee, while $50,000 scored folks an invite to a private dinner with Romney.

The folks shelling out $50,000 for a private dinner with Mittens must lead incredibly boring lives. Dinner with him would be about as interesting and exciting as a tea party with a Ken doll.

randcoolcatdaddy June 22, 2012 at 11:12 am

Amercia … with the best elections money can buy.

Allmighty_Manos June 22, 2012 at 11:15 am

"$50,000 scored folks an invite to a private dinner with Romney."

Could you imagine all the fun things you could do with $50,000?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 22, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Replace one of Anne's Cadillacs?

TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm

A swimming pool that fits into his swimming pool?

An_Outhouse June 22, 2012 at 11:15 am

So this means Romney will win Michigan? Sadly, NO. There's more poors that vote in MI than Richy Riches. Sorry, Mittens.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 22, 2012 at 12:08 pm

That's what voter ID laws are for.

DerrickWildcat June 22, 2012 at 11:15 am

I think it's some kind of tithe for the self-loathing.

fartknocker June 22, 2012 at 11:16 am

Last night the President paid for a television advertisement telling me about his proposed jobs bill and how he wanted to put 1 million Americans back to work, including police officers, firefighters, teachers and construction folks. Unfortunately the House of Representatives is jacking off on Eric Holder and has no concerns about the economy.

Any thoughts on the subject of employment of Americans Mr. Romney? These are the same nice people who will build and protect your car elevator, all of them educated by a teacher.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 22, 2012 at 12:07 pm

"[T]he House of Representatives is jacking off on Eric Holder and has no concerns about the economy. "

Actually, they are very concerned. So concerned, in fact, that they're doing everything in their power to make sure it doesn't improve by November.

Poindexter718 June 22, 2012 at 11:23 am

"Romney, eh? I like the cut of his jib. Where do I sign?"
–Chester "Buick" LaSalle, Cranbrook '38

Chichikovovich June 22, 2012 at 11:27 am

$50,000 scored folks an invite to a private dinner with Romney.

The rich really are different from the rest of us. Because a private dinner with Romney is something I would pay $50,000 to avoid.

MoeDeLawn June 22, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Agreed. $50K is only approaching the amount I would expect to be PAID to eat sammiches with that son of a bitch.

fawkedifiknow June 22, 2012 at 11:28 am

Automobile companies saved by Obama are people, too. They would be dead people if Romney had his way, but still.

MumbletyRadio June 22, 2012 at 11:32 am

After all those foibles Mitt had uttered, pedantically, in Michigan's direction — I guess this is their way of telling him: "It's OK, Romneybot. We'll let byte-gones be byte-gones."

MLite June 22, 2012 at 11:32 am

So, a conservative estimate that $7 million was raised by 600 ("more than 500") people would yield an average donation of $11,666 dollars per donor. And who says Romney doesn't know Poors?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Some of his best friends own poors (or would, if only it were still legal.)

Biel_ze_Bubba June 22, 2012 at 12:04 pm

"…raking in more money speech in a single day than the median family of four earns in 148 years!"

Sounds better this way, I think.

mavenmaven June 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm

The rich there hope Romney can help move all there workers to China, then they'll be able to donate even more money from their profits. The workers in Michigan, screw them, they don't contribute.

ttommyunger June 22, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I guess the hip-pockets are all the right height there.

Dr. Nick Riviera June 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Rich people (those who can toss a check out for 5000 dollars) love Republicans? Who knew?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 22, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Isn't it strange how all of these Republican complain about paying taxes to help the poor, the sick, build infrastructure and defend our country, and yet they don't mind throwing millions that disappears into thin air in ads that let us know how wasteful with money Socialist Democrats are.

owhatever June 22, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Eight million up front, and another eight to the Caymans.

DahBoner June 22, 2012 at 4:09 pm

A Michigan shower is where you go past the bathroom, turn left, then come back…

Negropolis June 23, 2012 at 1:04 am

Michigan WTF? The only rich people left in Michigan are auto execs, and I know that they aren't giving him money. So who the fuck is funding this guy?

I'm honestly not concerned about this state going to Romney, but I would definitely like to see Obama playing on a loop reminding Michigan that Romney told us to drop dead. You know, just to drill it in.

PuckStopsHere June 22, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Speaking of our fair mitten-shaped state, I watched a documentary about the City of Troit last night on the PBS and it said that Michigan is one of four (4) states in the nation that spends more on Corrections than it does on Higher Education and I said how in the fuck can that possibly be? Everything that is wrong with our state can, in my view, be summed up in that one little factoid right there.

Chichikovovich June 22, 2012 at 2:12 pm

U of M and Michigan State are such quality educational institutions that it provides something of a smokescreen for the state to cover up how the state contribution to state universities has been plummeting consistently over the years. The state contribution to UM's budget is between 10 and 18 percent (depending on how you count) and is sure to go lower until it essentially vanishes. Money comes from tuition, contributions from the enormous and relatively affluent alumni, federal and private research money, money redirected in one way or another from the cash-soaked medical complex (renting buildings and other kinds of money shifting accounting devices)…. but state money counts less every year.And UM/State/Wayne State are lucky – Grand Valley State gets so little it may as well be private.—

BerkeleyBear June 22, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Not to mention Western, Central and Eastern – who along with Grand Valley have none of the benefits of UM in terms of alumni, name, research projects, or out of state students willing to pony up fat tuition – but still have to try and serve their respective regions' needs.

There was a time when this country really prized state sponsored education and understood how vital a well educated citizenry really is. But today, there's just no willingness to spend on quality higher ed – largely because although people want their kids to get college degrees, they really don't want them to learn to think for themselves. It reminds me of "Babbit" – getting the credential matters, but actually thinking would make it a waste of time. So University of Phoenix for everyone!

PuckStopsHere June 22, 2012 at 2:39 pm

And then there is this…
I was having trouble finding a job and wound up in training at a home loan company learning to sell mortgages over the phone in their boiler room and the teacher asks how many of us have college degrees and in that room of 100 or so, virtually every hand went up. I can assure you that there wasn't a one of us who went to college expecting to wind up with a "career" at *******Loans. It was shocking. And sad.

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