Right Wing News Ends War On Women With Peaceful List of Hottest Conservative Women in Media

The point of women is to stand tall, butt pointing just so (say, eastward), bosom pointing just the opposite so (westward). The point of conservative women in the media is to do this, plus tell conservative men everywhere what they obviously already know, and invented, like that Obama is a Kenyan spy, but which they like to sometimes hear said in a soft voice, and preferably in plain sight, with the aforementioned assets pointing also, if the women can manage it, not only in opposite directions but toward the sky. So with that in mind, Right Wing News has released its fourth annual list of "The 20 Hottest Conservative Women in Media," and each candidate in this competitive list has been allotted two pictures. One shows us the woman's candid side: hanging with friends at the bar, attending a conference for important people. For the other shots the Right Wing News staff used glamour shots WHENEVER POSSIBLE, which preferably included some T&A. Strangely, there seem to be more T&A as we make our way through the list from number 20 to number 1...

Number 20 is of course a woman of color, because god forbid blogger Kira Davis be considered anything other than last place. However, RWN was generous enough to put Michelle Malkin at number 3. Or else they were just afraid for their lives.

So in case anyone looking at this list reacts with the kind words, "Wow, I didn't know there were even 20 women in the media," do not click through expecting to see even so much as a paragraph, let alone a one-sentence blurb, telling us what any of these women actually does, or how they got started, or who did their boobs, because there is none of that. There are just pictures. Beautiful, beautiful pictures. Select ranking information:

2. Katie Pavlich from Town Hall, because her highlights are just prettier than 6. April Gregory of Misfit Politics.

6. April Gregory of Misfit Politics, because she is just ONE OF THE GUYS! We need one of those on every list:

7. Monica Crowley of Monica Memo. Monica has so much potential. Potential to be number one even, but there is only one picture of her WMD-capable ladyparts, and so she is just at number 7 for now.

4. Sarah Palin. Three words for you: RED SILK BLOUSE. Also Palin has MOVED ON UP! Last year she was only ranked at number 9. How quickly things can change in the media.

17. Jenny Erickson, blogger. BECAUSE SHE IS INTO GUNZ.

14. Kristina Ribali because she looks like a DISNEY ANIME DREAM BOT and is also a MOM! Which is huge:

8. Mary Katharine Ham from the Weekly Standard, because she kinda looks like Megan from Mad Men! Not that any of us watch that! That blasphemous nostalgic liberal wet dream!

And finally, we are ready for number one. She has been a major player this year. Her hair always looks real nice. She is true to the pale skin shade that God gave her. And she's got a mouth on er! Your hottest woman in conservative media 2012 is...

The contemplative...

The sassy...

The ball-busting...

The thinking...

The talking...

The oh-so-pretty...

DANA LOESCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111dwerasssgggssssdfff

 [Right Wing News]