Here was an odd little brag from the People’s Senator, the fanny for the common man, the rootin’-est, tootin’-est Playgirl model to ever bare his treasure trail in the US Congress:
“Each and every day that I’ve been a United States senator, I’ve been discussing issues, meeting on issues, in secret meetings with kings and queens and prime ministers and business leaders and military leaders, talking, voting, working on issues every single day.”
And that prompts the terribly important questions of who are these kings and queens with whom Sen. Brown is having these secret meetings, what have they promised him in exchange for being their mole on the Armed Services and Homeland Security committees, and last but certainly most important: DOES HE BOW?
For Which Kings and Queens Is Scott Brown a Secret Agent?
[TPM]
{ 134 comments }
in secret meetings with queens
Actually, that's no secret–we all know that you consult with Lindsey Graham on a regular basis.
Damn you–beat me to the punch with the Lindsey post!
Pore Lindsey's got a bad rap- is that fair when it was our OTHER senator who got caught with his mouth in Jamie Dimon's crotch on teevee the other day?
Queen Latifa and King Kong.
So there's only two people in the room?
Hi-yooooo!
His bow is a practiced maneuver that is likened unto his pubic shaving ritual. Just less moaning.
The Queen of Denial?
That would be the "Birther Queen" Oily Taint.
Oh Cleo!
He's just trying to pimp those daughters of his out to "royalty".
The Dairy Queen?
Of course Senator Brown has got the hang of the Senate already – he didn't mention meeting with his constituents.
You beat me to it!
I was going with Burger King and Dairy Queen.
The fuck is up with Republicans named "Scott"?
It's also a brand of ass-wipes! Coincidence?
I say not, Toots!
Speaking of TP, here's a short list of evil Koch brothers products to boycott. What a coinkidink that the two biggest A-Holes the world has ever known are in the TP business.
Angel Soft toilet paper
Brawny paper towels
Dixie plates, bowls, napkins and cups
Mardi Gras napkins and towels
Quilted Northern toilet paper
Soft ‘n Gentle toilet paper
Sparkle napkins
Vanity Fair napkins
Zee napkins
Georgia-Pacific paper products and envelopes
All Georgia-Pacific lumber and building products
Stainmaster carpet and Lycra
Figures a coupla turds would focus on toilet paper and carpet stains.
I don't think any of us will have much trouble boycotting "napkins."
The hardest to shop around are Dixie products–those cups and paper plates are certainly the most widely available. But I try.
If I can't wipe my ass with the Koch brothers themselves, I won't use their products for it either.
However, I am curious about Sparkle napkins.
Which one has the bits all over the bears ass?
Yasser, I believe that's Charmin… a Proctor & Gamble product.
P&G used to be in ALEC, so they're not Koch, but they used to sleep with them.
I guess we can't boycott everything, though…unless they invent stain-free underwear. (which would, again, be a Koch, Inc product)
Y'all forgot Tim Scott (R-SC). Definitely a Koch bros product. Or by-product?
I noticed that too – they're freekin' everywhere!
All that work and his daughters are still available.
My boys are single. Have them contact me via Wonkette post.
Leka, Crown Prince of Albania, approves.
What can Brown do for them?
What about the doctors, lawyers and Indian chiefs?
Slightly O/T, from the Boston Globe's article about Scotty's attempt to do damage control:
In the same interview, Brown today defended a US House panel that voted Wednesday to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt for not providing documents related to the botched “Fast and Furious” gun-trafficking investigation.
“Congress was misled, so what are they supposed to do? Say thank you very much? Thanks for misleading us?” Brown said.
http://www.boston.com/politicalintelligence/2012/…
Yeah, that's what the mushy middle voters who were foolish enough to think that voting Republican would *actually* mean that Congress would focus like a laser on jobs are saying…
♪ Whistling past the highway bill…
As a teabagger, Scott Brown meets with people who are inbred enough to be royalty — but don't ruin the illusion for him.
We have spell check, but no veracity check.
He needs a Dairy Queen swirly.
A royal flush.
King Kong Bundy and the ghost of Freddie Mercury, natch.
King Friday XIII and Queen Sara Saturday, I believe.
I had to scroll down *this* far before someone made reference to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe? Low-hanging fruit, to be sure, but come on! Fred Rogers is giving us all disapproving frowny looks from the astral plane.
BOOMERANG! TOOMERANG! ZOOMERANG!
In fairness, I feel a sense of unease knowing there's a character named McFeeley on a show from the state of Jerry Sandusky.
Scott Brown is a secret agent for the Clown Prince of Massachusetts: Mitt Romney.
Ahem.
Clown libel?
Won't you come see him, Queen Jane?
Miss Wasilla
Not much. Nope, not at all.
Iffin' that was a question.
Well I know England has a Queen. She just got married or something.
That wasn't a queen, I believe that was Elton John.
That wasn't a queen,
I believethat was ^^THE QUEEN^^ Elton John.FIFY
I don't want that floozy in either Kings or Queens county thank you very much.
Nah, send dat little dick-flashin' man down ta Bensonhoist! Da boys will see to 'im.
Did he make them all promise not to endorse Warren?
"In fact, at one of the meetings I met my wife… Angela Merkel! Yeah, that's the ticket!"
I thought it was young Morgan Fairchild – yeah, yeah, that's it!
I actually met Morgan Fairchild so I can say, "Whom I shook hands with." Sleeping with her, alas, was not an option. Very nice person, too.
Angela Merkel…whom I've seen naked.
Perhaps he meant drag queens? Ya gotsta meet them in sekret if yur an R.
In Austin we have drag kings too. http://zacharyhuntphotography.com/2011/10/18/king…
Nice. Thanks for the link.
Cabbages and kings, but he only listens to the cabbages.
Abe Froman, line 1.
Sounds like he's been playing a lot of poker.
… the fanny for the common man.
Ms. Shoenkopf, you are aware that the word "fanny" means something entirely different in the UK, right? Or did you do that deliberately?
I'm a Brit and have lived in the US for 10 years…. still makes me smile when I hear that.
Whereas, the so-called fucking health service in this country drives me to commit murder several times a week.
Correction: "…. drives me to WANT to commit murder several times a week."
Me too, I've been here for 6 years. The last time I went to a doctor, it was nice that they took their time doing the check-up, but when I walked out I noticed quite how many admin / support staff the 2 doctors and an APRN had. There were loads… Talk about overheads!
That said, when people ask me if I miss the UK, I say one word: curry.
Curry, as every Brit knows, is England's national dish.
Fortunately, I have 6th Street in the East Village to satisfy my yearnings for a decent Indian.
Particularly needed as I was a frequent visitor to Curry Mile in Rusholme (south of Manchester Uni.).
Our Editrix is a worldy babe, so I'm sure she understands the entendre.
And I always smile when I listen to that ZZ Top song…"She got hair down to her fanny"…
I think he meant Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters.
Queen of Jordan?
People do love the way that she says "ham".
Noor reply.
it's my way till payday.
He's just tryin' to score free Olympic tix…..
Hopefully he'll meet with the Dukes of Hazard in November.
"I may have exaggerated a little. But I did have coffee once with Kevin James."
And I bet he recently stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.
Must be Ellery Queen cuz itza mystery.
The one on the left is king, the one on the right is queen, and the thing in the middle? Prime Minister!
Mystery solved.
Burger King?
Gypsy Kings?
Sultans of Swing?
B.B. King?
Prom Queen?
Burger King, then Dairy Queen
Carole King anyone?
I bet his resume says he was President of the Senate because, you know, he was IN the Senate.
He had a dream about the King of Sweden,
He gave him things that he was needin',
He gave him a Senate built of gold and steel,
a diamond pickup with the platinum wheel.
Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi
Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi
Hey-dee hey-dee hey-dee hey-dee hey
Hey-dee hey-dee hey-dee hey-dee hey
And if you need the visual: http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Minnie+the+mo…
Gotta love me some Cab Calloway
Or Jeeves & Wooster: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ_R8QBeYvs
Usually secret meetings with queens aren't something a straight man will brag about.
Perhaps his stance is wider than he admits. Professor Doctor Cherokee Princess Elizabeth Warren should quiz him on this at the next debate to be sponsored by the Harvard Lampoon (since Brown has nixed all others save Faux Gnus).
I know we've all become accustomed to the asshole brayings of our elected officials. Is his mouth just completely disconnected from his brain? The whole thing about secret meetings with kings and queens–had he just finished catching up on GoT?
DOES HE BLOW?
Fixed, and yes he does.
Even when he's not actually blowing, he blows.
Chunks.
Elton John and LeBron James?
Sorry. Are they kings or queens?
Seriously, how many kings and queens are there these days? If you don't count proms and homecomings, there's like, what, eight nations on earth that still have royalty? Nine, maybe?
Around 26, technically still acting as 'heads of state' or thereabouts. The rest have been 'deposed' but are still alive. Unlike the Romanovs, Louis XVI and Charles I, that is.
Total roll call is:
Belgian Royal Family
Brunei Royal Family
Bhutanese Royal Family
British Royal Family
Bahraini Royal Family
Brazilian Imperial Family (deposed)
Bulgarian Royal Family (deposed)
Cambodian Royal Family
Canadian Royal Family
Danish Royal Family
Dutch Royal Family
Greek Royal Family (deposed)
Hessian Grand Ducal Family (deposed)
Italian Royal Family (deposed)
Japanese Imperial Family
Jordanian Royal Family
Korean Imperial Family (deposed)
Malaysian Royal Families
Johor Royal Family
Kedah Royal Family
Kelantan Royal Family
Negeri Sembilan Royal Family
Pahang Royal Family
Perak Royal Family
Perlis Royal Family
Selangor Royal Family
Terengganu Royal Family
Laotian Royal Family (deposed)
Liechtenstein Princely Family
Luxembourg Grand Ducal Family
Manchu Imperial Family (deposed)
Māori Royal Family
Mecklenburg (Schwerin and Strelitz)
Grand Ducal Family (deposed)
Mexican Imperial Family (deposed)
Monegasque Princely Family
Royal Family of Morocco
Nepalese Royal Family / King of Nepal (deposed)
Norwegian Royal Family
Portuguese Royal Family (deposed)
Qatari Royal Family
Romanian Royal Family (deposed)
Saudi Royal Family
Schwarzenberg Princely Family (mediatized)
The Spanish Royal Family
Swazi Royal Family
Swedish Royal Family
Thai Royal Family
Tongan Royal Family
Yugoslavian Royal Family (deposed)
Zulu Royal Family
Your count is off by ~ 9. The Royal Families of Johor, Kedah, Kelantan, Negeri Sembilan, Pahang, Perak, Perlis, Selangor, and Trengganu should be included under "Malaysian Royal Families," as those are all Malaysian states. Each royal family holds the Yang di Pertuan Negara (king of Malaysia) role in succession.
I think Canadians & the British have the same royal family
How many? I don't know- you ever watch Ru Paul's Drag race?
I don't know which Queen for sure, but I do know Scott spends a lot of time in his meeting chambers discussing 'Matters of State' through Ye Olde Hole of Glorye.
What a maroon.
Moran.
He is not talking about the citizens of Queens but rather Count Moby Christie of the Jersey Holsteins, who is only slightly larger by volume.
Elvis!
See where confusing Ron Paul and Ru Paul can lead a person?
Ru Paul seriously needs to think about putting out a platform of political positions, and make sure she gets national exposure, and that will completely confuse the Paultards.
In particular, he's been in close consultation with the Crimson King, collaborating on a multinational initiative to plant evergreens, grasp divining signs, and summon back the fire witch.
[bong noises]
Thanks for the best earworm I've had all week.
I am Robert Fripp and I approve of this message.
Seriously, is this guy a U.S. Senator or some third rate "prestigiditizer" telling us about the royalty he astounded on his last tour of the capitals of Europe with his unbelievable "saw my lovelely assistant in half" trick.
Senatoratin's hard work!!!!
I voted for Pope In A Box
He would also like the common people to know he is fond of Boston's Red Stockings. Indeed, on occasion he allows his presence in a luxury box at one of their exhibitions.
UPDATE: Scott Brown misspoke about meeting with Kings and Queens. What he meant to say was "Each and every day that I’ve been a United States senator, I’ve been either discussing issues, meeting on issues, in secret meetings — with Sting and Mr Green Jeans"
When he walks down the street
Kings and queens they opine
Every voter he meets
They all stay stupefied
Wantsa be your junior senator
Wantsa be kept around
He’s here to tell you honey
He’s bad to the Brown
Very nicely done, particularly as an ad hoc!
*polite golf clap*
Martini?
As I've been saying all along, Presidential AND good looking!
Scott Brown is to douchbaggery what the late Andrew Sarris was to film criticism.
the late, ^^lamented^^ Andrew Sarris.
Something tells me Scotty's family will be the only ones doing any lamenting when he pops his clogs.
I haven't read the NY Observer since they fired Sarris a few years ago, stupid cheap arsed bastards.
Why would we need the likes of the late Pauline Kael or Andrew Sarris to tell us what constitutes good film, when we have the likes of Michael Medved and Michelle Malkin?
And publishers want to know why their readership is declining. I'd gladly pay to read a Kael or Sarris review. For Medved/Malkin reviews, I'd want to BE paid.
I am disappointed that the senator is revealing his secret meetings with royalty like myself, a exiled Nigerian prince. I told him about my fortune that was seized by my political enemies, and how, working together with the senator, I could get it back and contribute HALF to his campaign and use the other half to create jobs. Some flunky of his own political enemy, Lizzie Warren, told me to fuck off.
Well I know a couple of queens who would want to meet with Senator Centerfold but I don't think he'd want to meet with them.
"Vote for the white guy"
He's been with kings and presidents, but he's never been with us.
signed,
his Massachusetts constituency
And businessmen come and dig his earth. Also to….
I assume the ones he met with were the ones who fought for ten decades for the gods they made.
This was just before he cried out, "How could the Kennedys [endorse a candidate in the senate race, as private citizens expressing political opinions]".
Everyone knows the Kennedy's are not private citizens. They are American Royalty. Dowager Queen Vicki should know better than to involve the royals in the tawdry business of politics, but then she is not really a Kennedy, she only slept with one.
Mick and Keef appreciate the implied shout out.
During DC Pride , there are plenty of queens and kings. Scott looks like they guys from Nelly's anyway
Senator centerfold/pick up truck better get as many of those meetings in as he can in the next six months. I understand that royalty doesn't give two fucks about an ex-Senator.
I assume he's referring to the many Secret Queen gatherings one finds at various truck stops along our nation's highways. Dude, here's a tip…they ain't so secret.
Damn. The only ones I can think of are King Crimson, and the Queen of Soul herself, Ms. Aretha Franklin. I know, nerdy and old at the same time, huh?
Every senator is a "stand on the railing and shout, 'I'm the king of the world!'" type.
Undoubtedly gun lovin', coon killin' Iowa asshat Steven King. As for the Queens, hell, his party's full of 'em
The Grand Poohbah of Upper Butt-Crack, no doubt.
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