Mitt Romney may be pageview death — and he is, Blanche! He is! — but how could your Wonkette resist such a marvelous little item as this one? Bloomberg News reports that the Romney campaign is telling Florida Gov. Bat Boy to shut the fuck up, if you please sir, about the great strides his state is making in jobs. And then the Romney camp — having it all ways! — is all, nah mang, we would never say that! We think it’s rad when governors are able to overcome the disasters of the Obameconomy, so that if unemployment goes up it’s Bamz’s fault, and if it goes down, it’s due to the GOP! (This gets an “obvious” tag.) But there was one more little teeny thing they said that sang right to our earholes, like the harps of angels.
Scott, a Republican, was asked to say that the state’s jobless rate could improve faster under a Romney presidency, according to the people, who asked not to be named.
What’s unfolding in Florida highlights a dilemma for the Romney campaign: how to allow Republican governors to take credit for economic improvements in their states while faulting Obama’s stewardship of the national economy. Republican governors in Ohio, Virginia, Michigan and Wisconsin also have highlighted improving economies.
Scott should follow the advice of the Romney campaign and it won’t undermine his own message, said Mac Stipanovich, a political strategist and lobbyist in Florida.
“This is one of those situations where you could have it both ways and there’s enough truth in it that it would resonate,” Stipanovich said. “It would be better if everybody was singing from the same hymnal.”
A Florida political strategist has come out for saying something that’s true enough. Praise Jesus and hallelujah, let us all sing from the same hymnal indeed. [Bloomberg]
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"you could have it both ways"
Romney/Marcus/Lindsey 2012?
Mélange-à-Trois!
He who controls the Spice Girl, controls the universe!
"Just Remember voters — All Evil comes from your (blah) socialist kenyan overlord; all good comes from your (lily white) benevolent billionaire healthcare profiteer overlord."
Mitt Romney has already purchased both sides of this argument, my friends.
Speaking of Governors – this is quite funny. Sad, of course, as well. But also funny.
http://www.nationalmemo.com/voter-rolls-and-rick-…
"The governor himself should know how untrustworthy the electoral databases can be. In 2006, he was mistakenly declared dead while he was very much alive in Naples, and had to file provisional ballots in two elections."
Well, he's still dead to me.
He's just like a vampire to me.
Romney/Burger King 2012
I always love a good "Baby Jane" reference on Thursdays in June.
There's rats in Rick Scott's basement.
Whatever happened to her?
Waltzing. On a beach. With ice cream cones…in upstretched arms. It is the way I want to go.
Romney 2012 – Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
Paging Marie Antoinette – your bakery delivery is here.
Singing from the same hymnal is going to be difficult when they are reading from different bibles.
With a Mormon in the White House, you're in luck!
What is truth?
Well, I'll see your John 18:38 and raise you John 14:6. (Republican campaign strategy in two verses.)
I have to go wash my hands.
Make sure you use Holy Water. It's in the finger bowl by the entrance
What is hip?
It ain't Florida.
Baby don't hurt me. . .
My pew doesn't have a hymnal. I will just look over the shoulder of the young lady in front of me. She wants to know…what page?
My pews usually don't have hymnals, but I still wear Depends, just in case.
"Republican governors in Ohio, Virginia, Michigan and Wisconsin also have highlighted improving economies. "
That's a basket of Electoral College votes that keeps Mr. Obama in the White House.
This reminds me of (r)Money being on both sides of the gay marriage issue in Massachusetts. At the same time – it wasn't a flip or a flop. It was one foot on the dock and one foot on the boat.
There's a pattern here…
One foot on the platform, and one foot on the train?
Truths, like ideas, have consequences.
Truths, or dares?
Onward Lying Scumbags! Sing!
Marching Off To Half-Truths!
Mittens has called Rick Scott again he needed clarification on what size ball gag he uses
Dear Editrix,
I must register my discontent with your column this moment.
You have compared a national treasure…the Weekly World News' own beloved Batboy…to a lying thieving insurance-scamming weasel.
I must insist you correct this injustice to mutants and freaks the world over immediately!
WWEAS?
What Would Ed Anger Say?
He'd be madder than a penguin on Miami Beach
Sounds like somebody's taking a wide stance here…
Just making shit up as you go sounds a whole lot easier.
Well, it beats paying somebody to make it up for you.
Works for Hairy Potter's mum…
Just shake the Etch-a-sketch and create your own truth!
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your truthy!
Lies are people too, my friend.
I heard that on Fux News so it must be true.
Quantum physics x truthiness = Romney campaign?
Too much uncertainty and no principals. Heisenberg weeps.
Mitt Rmoney has perfected the art of simultaneously agreeing and disagreeing on all issues at all times, simultaneously, as he spins endlessly in space.
Schrodinger's cat = Romney's dog
string people along theory.
I'm Bat Boy and I approved this message.
So, Mitt Romney is pageview death? No wonder I never see anything about him a Huffington Post…
That's surprising because Mittens is a giant boob.
Ahh, but for HuffPo he'd need to be a sideboob. Great new av, BTW.
Can all of America please move into cardboard boxes and eat hobo beans so Mr. Richie Rich can get his prize, please…..
Geezz, the nerve of you people expecting your miserable lives to be improving when it conflicts with a real person's ambitions.
Can we just give Mr. Richie Rich a Honorary Preznit plaque or a Day In The Oval Office so he can tell everyone he beat his dad and leave us alone?
Certificate Of Completion! He's participating the hell out of this campaign!
Does this mean an early end to campaign hell? If only it were possible…
And a trophy for perfect attendance.
Scott, a Republican, was asked to say that the state’s jobless rate could improve faster under a Romney presidency*
*Actual results may vary. Side effects may include increased joblessness, vomiting, and the gutting of public education.
In other news, Mittens reports the height of the palmettos are perfect.
Why thank you!
Ok, so maybe Rick Scott did shoot an elephant.
In his pajamas. How it got there nobody knows.
Ever since I read "Hello I Must Be Going" about an aging Groucho coming to terms with his own mortality, that joke makes me sad.
Early in their Vaudeville career, the Marx Brothers were on the road and met four cute sisters. They fell into conversation with their parents, and were invited over for dinner on Friday.
Not able to wait, the Marx boys snuck over to the house early in the week and, well, one thing led to another.
The parents came home early and the Marx Brothers had to jump into their clothes and then jump out the bedroom window. After running across the yard Groucho turned around, came back to the window, and asked the father "Does this mean Friday is off?"
Is that a metaphor for how the Repubicans are destroying themselves on the altar of Tea Party purity?
Apparently, Romney's just not entitled to have his own truth, he's entitled to have several of them, because of his status as a Job Creator. One for each house, perhaps?
His truth is just the right height…
So Mitt's problem with the Dubya recession was that it didn't suck enough? That'll dispel the image of him as an out-of-touch plutocrat.
if unemployment goes up it’s Bamz’s fault, and if it goes down, it’s due to the GOP
From the same wonderful people who brought you "Socialize risk, privatize profit".
It's all Clinton's fault. And GWB's torture program made the killing of Bin Ladin possible.
*bangs head against table
The pain is Obama's fault. Any reduction of swelling or bruising is the result of the free market.
Remember: "Moral hazard" only applies when you want to raise food stamps $10 a week, 'cause them lazy and shiftless poors will WANT to stay lazy and shiftless poor.
But bankers and rich folks? Well, giving them billions after they destroy the lives of millions across the globe protects our economy! After all, they might lose confidence and not trickle that cash down to the rest of us.
/snark
Sweet fucking lord. That reads damn-near stupider than it sounds coming from the mouths of the GOP …
No, you see, the bailout was a socialist takeover of the economy, which would be much stronger today if the entire financial system had collapsed, along with the auto industry.
I miss that guy. Buying groceries just isn't the same without him.
This week I was smacked by the reality of what asshole GOP governors are doing. My small community's mayor has informed us that asshole governor Kasich's repeal of Ohio's estate tax has resulted in our village losing $38K of its $185K budget. Hence, my local taxes are being raised so that the Paris Hiltons of Ohio can buy more miniature doggies and designer handbags to carry them in.
Wake up, sheeple!
I demand they repeal the sheeple tax.
Yeah well with Kaisch bringing in the fracking people, you may not have the ability to really pay those taxes after you drink the water.
You in north or south Ohio? Cincy, here. We're facing major cuts and layoffs next year in the city.
I'm in Columbus. Spent the day in Cincity today,though.
Sheeple are people too, my friend.
The only certainties are death & taxes. Or were. But Ken Lay finally disproved that idea.
My niece in AZ was just told that all state healthcare benefits for "parents too sick to take care of their children" have been discontinued. An interesting way to clear out the "undesirables".
Schrödinger's Dog: both alive and dead at the same time.
That's Snoopy, right? Too bad he died. He was cute.
But on the car roof in either case.
The wave function isn't resolved until the family road trip is over! Then you have to get the hose.
It never fails to astonish me how many voters have the attention span of a chipmunk on meth. Since I drive my son to and from distant soccer practices and games several times a week, I get reminders of gas prices every day or two. Remember a couple of months ago when you couldn't turn around without Romney/Rush/Fox "News" howling about how a crucial issue was gas prices, and Obama was to blame for these awful high gas prices. And whaddya know – as the economy slows, the gas prices have gone down noticeably. And suddenly, nobody cares about gas prices any more.
Of course, if the economy starts to pick up steam, gas prices will go up. Look for Romney/Rush/Fox to rediscover the vital importance of the issue.
Gas prices go up because of Obama. Gas prices go down in spite of Obama.
You can't explain it.
Judging from your mastery of the language, your political reassignment prep work is going amazingly well! Have they scheduled The Operation yet?
there’s enough truth
They keep using that word…..
Keep talking, Mittens. Having it both ways means that some comes forth from your mouth and most comes from your ass. It's hard to find an ounce of truth from either orifice. And regarding the book from which you sing, there are hymnals, hernals, and urinals. You've got 'em all covered. Scumbag.
I'm sick to death of seeing things
From tight-lipped, condescending, mama's little chauvinists
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlzrNKN3rZI
I said it before and I'll say it again, in an unprecedented move, Mitt Romney will not participate in any election debates. Mark my word.
…While apparently being on stage, and moving his lips!
Some of Romney's best friends own states …
And all I want is a car with AC for the summers here in KC. But noooooo! That costs more than the car is worth* yadda yadda yadda …
(* About $3K.)
This is an example of a corollary to the general rule that Republicans have carte-blanche (i.e., Fox News approved) to categorically oppose anything Obama does, even if they were 100% for it just two days before. Here in Wisconsin, our beloved governor – as in so many other instances – has led the way on this (bullshit) front. When the employment numbers were undeniably horseshit , it was all Obama's fault. When Walker pulled some better looking numbers from his ass, the improved economy was all his doing!! The lameass Democrats in this state couldn't find the gumption to point that out, of course. QED, dumbfucks.
Explains that recent election – your governor rocks! Or should be stoned. You decide.
Wait! Is that a Mormon hymnal or a Baptist hymnal?
Osmonds Greatest Hits.
Speaking of Bloomberg…
Obama Leads in Poll as Voters View Romney as Out of Touch
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06-20/obama-le…
Possibly an outlier since other polls show a closer race, but it's nice to see some good news for a change…
republican truthiness.
The joke was always about Republican truthiness.
chewy, with a slightly acid aftertaste.
Romney is just utilizing age-old corporate business techniques. My boss does the same thing all the time. And I hate him too.
Nah, Rick Scott is the Mirror Universe Peter Garrett.
Can we call this the "Truthiness Campaign", then?
Edit: Dang, if only I'd read the post above by MM first…
This is the "logical" extension of Boss "I wasn't wrong; I was misinformed" BlunderRush's famous statement that he hopes President Obama fails.
The swing states of Florida, Michigan, Ohio, Virginia, Wisconsin are picking up but the GNoP isn't supposed to talk about that.
Rick Scott cannot be Bat Boy. Rick Scott is Voldemort. Unless, of course, Voldemort is Bat Boy, which would not surprise me as I have never seen them in the same place at the same time.
So basicly they're not even lying about lying anymore. Not sure how to feel about this.
I thought the GOP WAS all singing from the same hymnal…problem is they're all tone-deaf.
What's with the picture of Miche1e up there?
All I have is a red guitar, three chords and, um, well, a little something else…
"not intended to be a factual statement"
"one of those situations where you could have it both ways"
"we create our own reality"
Hmm, I seem to see a pattern here.
I'm guessing the pages of their hymnal are soft, two-ply & conveniently perforated.
Truth Polygamy is endorsed by the Mormon Church.
Nice shot of the "Inner Mitt".
Second verse, same as the first verse…
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