RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  12:15 pm June 21, 2012

Women Don’t Need 3,054 Languages To Call Men Hypocrites

by Sulagna Misra

  • Forget drones, let's weaponize humanity!Can women have it all? Not yet! At least, not until I get an Iron Man suit — sorry, Iron Woman. [The Atlantic]
  • Are liberals hypocrites about national security?! How dare you, Salon! That’s so mean! Anyway, probably. I mean, liberal Hollywood’s movie Iron Man is about an arms dealer who forgoes making weapons — to turn himself into the ultimate weapon. [Salon]
  • Google is fighting to save 3,054 dead languages! That’s easy, just find 3,054 liberal arts students and give them each money to learn the languages so they can show off their skills at parties. Actually, you probably don’t even need to pay them. [Mashable]
  • Are you ready for Kindle diplomacy? The State Department is going to buy a ton of Kindles and give them out along with money for books! Unfortunately the idea of giving out foreign politicians Kindles is only great until we find out they’re all reading 50 Shades of Grey, or worse, Twilight. (Harry Potter means they become automatic allies.) [Slate]

Hola wonkerados.

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FraAnima June 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Rrrrrrrrow! Our editrix in an Ironwoman suit. BRB.

actor212 June 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Leather is much more form-fitting.

FraAnima June 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

And more squeezable. OK, back to the leather cat suit. BRB.

actor212 June 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Sluggo! Good morning! How are you?

3,054 dying languages?

Does that include Redneck?

AbandonHope June 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

We could only dream.

actor212 June 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Well, it was coughing up blood in 2006…

Boojum June 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Have you got any that's not jugged?

Shypixel June 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I think redneck is less a language than it is a developmental disability.

And I live in Montana, so I should know…

Butch_Wagstaff June 21, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Nope. It's currently thriving and spreading.

Jus_Wonderin June 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Wouldn't his arm just flat snap off???

actor212 June 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Well, I think if he kept switching hands, that would keep one from getting too tired.

Fairtackle June 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

It is not the arm he should be worried about. What are we talking about again?

Shypixel June 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

is Civility one of the dead languages?

Jus_Wonderin June 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm


actor212 June 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm


freakishlywrong June 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Women DO have it all, and don't you forget it. *Throws high heel*.

Gratuitous World June 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Google saved Latin. What did you ever do?

Jus_Wonderin June 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Video killed the radio star………………

actor212 June 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

In fairness, if we knew how ugly most rock musicians were, we would never have bought their albums in the first place.

Fairtackle June 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

That Steely Dan video can never be unseen.

Jus_Wonderin June 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

However, I will always love Linda Ronstadt. In any of her sizes.

ThundercatHo June 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I'd take an Ironwoman suit, especially if it meant I could hang out with Samuel L Jackson and that Thor fellow.

Jus_Wonderin June 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I have heard the Ironwoman suit, simutaneously lifts and separates.

fartknocker June 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Figures that the State Department would buy Kindles. Amazon is that fine institution that's being sued by the State of Texas for not paying over $400 million in sales tax. Of course, Big Chief Pretty Hair Perry is talking about waving the taxes if they move back to Texas so we can get some more of those fucking sweet $8.00/hour jobs.

BornInATrailer June 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

What are you girls complaining about? You "get" to do pretty much all of the ironing still.

SayItWithWookies June 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I’ve always thought hawkish Democrats were trying to shake off the GOP charge that their left flank caused the U.S. to lose Vietnam. Reading “The Cause,” I realized they were actually still fighting the allegation that they lost China in 1949.

Hey Joan — liberals have been demonized as appeasers and enablers of America's commie enemies since the fuckin' Haymarket riot if not before. China? Hell, the Lincoln Brigade enlistees, who fought in the Spanish Civil War, were called "premature anti-fascists" by the American right wing at the time. Let that bit of Romneyesque wisdom sink in — they hated Hitler too soon.

That said, conducting war is a morally repugnant business regardless of the relative rightness of any war — maybe we're giving President Obama a pass on some of that repugnance because he's promised to hold his nose and get the dirty stuff over with as soon and as effectively as possible so we can get back to the old normal instead of the new prison-state normal.

fuflans June 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

sulagna darling if you keep posting pictures like that you will shortly become my favorite.

ElPinche June 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Joan Walsh tries so hard sometimes. But I have to remember that BushCo is about 250 light years away in blognews cycle units.

DerrickWildcat June 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

girls r dum.

Extemporanus June 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm

In 1962, it was extremely rare for women to wear pants.

ElPinche June 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Also. I say bomb Syria with Kindles filled with Palin autobiographies; Bashar al-Assad will be begging for mercy. You're welcome Obama.

Extemporanus June 21, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Oh stewardess! I am fluent in over six million forms of communication.

Estproph June 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Why would foreign diplomats read Twilight? We're the ones with the literacy problem.

hollywooddood June 21, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I'm voting pro-vag in 2012.

SigDeFlyinMonky June 21, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Cutest trick-or-treater last year for us was the princess in an iron-man mask. Literally an iron fist in a velvet glove. Hurrah for the new empowering little girl paradigm!

ttommyunger June 21, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Language, smanguage. Just so they can understand "get me a sammich, suck my dick and shut up.", amirate?

DahBoner June 22, 2012 at 11:19 am

It ain't me, it's the people who say, men are leading the world astray….

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