Thoughtful Gentleman Rep. Joe Walsh Impugns Intellect Of Poopy-Head President

  oafs of office

Your Wonket cannot get enough of one Mr. Congressman Joe Walsh (R-Collections). Every time he goes out in public — and with apologies to Dan Savage and the Portland, Oregon, Police Bureau — it gets better.

He’s always all “Iraq veteran and septuple amputee Tammy Duckworth is a coward” this, and “I have to live in my office because I’m such a fucking deadbeat” that. He also loves to scream “shut up!” at his constituents, and is just constantly suing his ex-wife for wanting the child support he owes her. Why anyone besides the “fathers’ rights” dudes would ever actually vote for this terrifying pile of rage hormones is anyone’s guess, but it’s America. You can vote however you like!

Mr. The Greatest was explaining to a nipple of TeaNuts how Obama’s using his presidential discretion to decide immigration enforcement priorities for DHS was the worst tyranny America has ever known (duh) when he corrected himself. (A rare occurrence, as Mr. The Greatest usually thinks so hard before opening his drooling shithole.) Why did he correct himself? Because tyrants are smart, which precludes President Harvard Law Review from getting such an honor, because teleprompterz (and also he’s black).

We remember a gauzy time in the distant mists of the past when only civilians would call the president a dumb cunt; it was frowned upon, rather, for elected officials to debase themselves in so inelegant a manner, hip hip cheerio, let us have a spot of tea! And then Tip O’Neill and Ronald Reagan would go have a blah blah blah. Fuck it! Let’s import the Prime Minister’s Question Hour and Morning Drive-Time Zoo! Let’s let Neil Munro emcee all presidential statements! Let us let President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho determine the fate of legislation by tractor pulls to the death! It’s all good, and it’s all we deserve. [ChicagoSunTimes]

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf