HELLO GENTLE PEOPLE  5:47 pm June 20, 2012

Are We Going To San Francisco? (Yes)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Look at these fucking hippies

Hey man we’re gonna come up and see you, for the third Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup Happening. It’s far out! When, where, why? Let us find out together!

It will be at 7 p.m., Friday, July 13. The dive bar has not yet been confirmed, but we’ll put that in our reminder post a few days before our party. We will be meeting at the 540 Club, 540 Clement St., at Seventh Ave. Your Wonket does not know where this is! Maybe it is horrible! We are super-excited.

In the meantime, San Franciscans, you do not have to donate to our Beer Fund since you are already getting a party, but don’t you think it’s the right thing to do?





Now let us all get in a groovy mood!

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 287 comments }

nounverb911 June 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

I left my heart in San Francisco…..

Seriously, has anyone seen it? I had it on Lombard Street.

Doktor Zoom June 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

That's nothing. Somebody left their lungs on a sidewalk in LA.

(OK, they weren't human. But nobody knows what species they WERE from!!!!)

Gleem McShineys June 20, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Antispandex June 20, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Could be in the Castro District by now. When did you lose it?

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Good thing you didn't drop it on Polk Street. You'd have to have kicked it over to Van Ness before you picked it up.

Boojum June 20, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Was Cheney in the neighborhood? Because, if so, I have a bad feeling….

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm

If it's on the west side of the hill, it's covered in tranny fluid (any kind). If it's on the east side, probably brake fluid…

HogeyeGrex June 21, 2012 at 1:22 pm

tranny fluid

This has a different meaning here in SF.

glasspusher June 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Of that, I have no doubt, which is why I said “any kind”

HogeyeGrex June 21, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Here I thought you were talking Dexron v. Mercon rather than appletini v. mimosa.

Or, y'know…

DrunkIrishman June 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Wow. Way to play down stereotypes, Wonkette. What next, a trip to a Portland coffee shop to read Trotsky?

commiegirl99 June 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

MAYBE.

DrunkIrishman June 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Do you have Trotsky-dar or something!?!

chascates June 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Trotsky was the good Communist.

LionHeartSoyDog June 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

It must be opposites day.

(T being a Nazi collaborator and all).

chascates June 20, 2012 at 6:36 pm

from Wikipedia:
An early advocate of Red Army intervention against European fascism, in the late 1930s, Trotsky opposed Stalin's non-aggression pact with Adolf Hitler.

Hardly a collaborator.

LionHeartSoyDog June 20, 2012 at 6:45 pm

The non-aggression pact was to stall for time while building up defenses against Hitler. A necessary and life-saving move.
Meanwhile, my understanding is, Trotsky was cutting a deal to give Ukraine to Hitler in exchange for setting up Trotsky as ruler of the remaining USSR.
Temporarily, for sure, in Hitler's mind.

SmutBoffin June 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I put in a "2.5x sawski" for Portland.

Now I'm off to a tea house to read about raising chickens!

Antispandex June 20, 2012 at 6:33 pm

"I knew Trotsky. Trotsky was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Trotsky."

PubOption June 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Stalin: Hey Leon, can I pick your brains.

emmelemm June 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Sounds awesome!!

a_pink_poodle June 20, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I've lived in Portland long enough that this happens often enough to be called Trotsky Tuesday.

DrunkIrishman June 21, 2012 at 1:41 am

But it can't hold a candle to Mao Maondays.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 3:54 am

Is that on the Portlandian calendar?

a_pink_poodle June 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Yes the updated calendar was sent out early January from the Great Patriotic Center of the Proletariat. Did you keep your address up to date?

DemmeFatale June 21, 2012 at 10:54 am

I can smell the B.O. in that pic from here.
Ew.

DrunkIrishman June 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Oh…and I'm laying out my leather chaps as we speak.

Jus_Wonderin June 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Is it okay if I donate when the Wonkette party comes to DFW? (I bet I never have to donate, right?)

commiegirl99 June 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm

You might be eating those words. I've got an aunt (who used to be an uncle) in DFW. I love that town!

Biff June 20, 2012 at 11:43 pm

How 'bout Pahrump? Most people can't spell or pronounce it.

Jus_Wonderin June 21, 2012 at 6:20 am

Darn it. This means I have to wash some socks. Hey, I will buy a round or two. I might "drink" those words!

smokefilledroommate June 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

You'll never come to Phoenix. Le sigh.

DrunkIrishman June 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm

No one willingly goes to Phoenix.

smokefilledroommate June 20, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Well Tucson, then. Hmmph.

Blueb4sunrise June 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

NO.
Tell them to stay away!
Absolutely under no circumstances come to Tucson.

MarieDeGournay June 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Fucking hippies….having more fun than me…enjoying life….not hurting people….HOW DARE THEY!

MumbletyRadio June 20, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Welcome back, —
*reads profile blurb, it's been a while*
— "French Bitch from Hell" and kudos – you're not dead!

MarieDeGournay June 20, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Happy to be back.

starfanglednut June 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Castro or GTFO.

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Fidel or Raul?

Oh, wait …

James Michael Curley June 20, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Don't know if Mechanics is still open, by that name. Was very trendy in the late 70's early 80's and had a great out door patio overlooking the Delores Mission.

nounverb911 June 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm

If you'd come to SF 27 years ago, you could have stayed at my place.

Jus_Wonderin June 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Mr. Peabody and I will be right over.

Generation[redacted] June 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

No problem. I saw an ad in the local classifieds looking for a time travel partner. Be right there (been right there? willen have beening right there? time travel grammar is hard)

scvirginia June 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm

This is why it's called TENSE.

DrunkIrishman June 20, 2012 at 6:10 pm

I don't know, man. San Francisco in the mid-80s? That's just askin' for trouble.

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Last Saturday was in the mid 80s, but it's cooled off since then.

DrunkIrishman June 21, 2012 at 1:42 am

WORDS & NUMBERS SHOULDN'T HAVE DOUBLE MEANINGS.

glasspusher June 21, 2012 at 11:37 am

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT! *sobs*

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Dr. WHO?

superdave June 21, 2012 at 11:55 am

Or my dorm room in Berkeley back then. The kids on our floor used the floor party money to buy weed. It turned out to be bad stuff. Not that I partook. True story.

HempDogbane June 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm

…and for the all-important I-29 corridor, Fargo, Sioux Falls or Omaha?

TanzbodenKoenig June 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Damnit, buttsechs wins again :(. Guess racism and illiterate hillpeople aren't the same draw they use to be…

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 8:17 pm

If buttsechs wins, the tear wrists have lost! Rejoice!

gogoguerilla June 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

I have nothing snarky to say. I'm just excited. I puked a little of my mushroom tea up in my mouth.

fuflans June 20, 2012 at 9:59 pm

so then mushroom tea is a real thing?

UW8316154 June 20, 2012 at 10:51 pm

oh, indeed it is, an old Northwest favorite!

UW8316154 June 20, 2012 at 10:52 pm

'tis indeed! An old Northwest favorite!

Doktor Zoom June 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Boise! Boise! Come to beautiful Idaho and we can all go TP Larry Craig's house!

SmutBoffin June 20, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I am going to be in Boise next week!

What kind of toilet paper do you think Craig prefers…the same kind as they have in his favorite airport bathroom stall?

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 7:37 pm

What's the brand of toilet paper the Koch brothers sell?

Isyaignert July 9, 2012 at 2:33 am

Nice segue: Here's a list of common Koch brothers products to nevah, evah buy:

Angel Soft toilet paper
Brawny paper towels
Dixie plates, bowls, napkins and cups
Mardi Gras napkins and towels
Quilted Northern toilet paper
Soft ‘n Gentle toilet paper
Sparkle napkins
Vanity fair napkins
Zee napkins
Georgia-Pacific paper products and envelopes
Lycra
Stainmaster Carpet

BelleSC June 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm

I have family in Boise.

bendito June 20, 2012 at 8:50 pm

You say Boise. I say Hailey. Let's meet in Mountain Home.

Estproph June 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Yeah, down by the river
Down by the banks of the river Charles
Aw, that's what's happenin' baby
That's where you'll find me
Along with lovers, buggers and thieves
Aw, but they're cool people

Well I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
Oh, you're the number one place

LionHeartSoyDog June 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

i always thought it was Lovers, Muggers and Thieves.

i stand corrected…

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 12:20 am

I think it depends on whether it's the original or Dropkick.

Estproph June 21, 2012 at 8:20 am

It may very well be. I grabbed the lyrics off of a lyrics site, and they often have misquotes.

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Dirty water, bitches…go sox!

Limeylizzie June 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

That might be worth a drive up from LA

nounverb911 June 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Is Nepenthe still there on the PCH?

commiegirl99 June 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Oh fuck, NEPENTHE. Big Sur is my favorite place in the entire world. And I got so wine-drunk at Nepenthe I couldn't eat my ridiculous delicious dinner. :(

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:35 am

Not that you need the upfist on this, but, yeah, Nepenthe.

commiegirl99 June 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Oh right, and yes it's still there.

redarmybarbie June 21, 2012 at 3:48 am

Miss Editrix, a quick question if you will:

Can we pay a donation in person? My pitiful, inconsistent, and generally unreliable income does not allow me to make use of these newfangled "credit cards" you speak of…

LionHeartSoyDog June 20, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Yes, it is.

Barb June 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Sis, I will be in California in November. Will you be there?

Limeylizzie June 20, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Baby, if you are here I will be here. Natch!

Callyson June 20, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Take me with you? I'll chip in for gas and such…

Barb June 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Callyson, that would be the best!
I have tickets for the Chargers v Ravens game and we could get together that weekend.

Callyson June 20, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I'm in!And I hope it's OK to root for the Chargers (Pittsburgh native here, root for my Steelers and whoever plays against Baltimore…)

Callyson June 21, 2012 at 3:25 am

Check out my reply to Limeylizzie on this thread to make this happen. This could seriously be fun!

Limeylizzie June 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Sure, where do you live?

Callyson June 20, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Silver Lake, but I can come to you. We should totally do this!

Limeylizzie June 20, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Shit, I am in Silverlake as well! Franklin Hills to be specific.

Crank_Tango June 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Do it! You can wear your french resistance outfit…

PuckStopsHere June 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm

As a decorated veteran of the Detroit "event", I can assure you that it will be worth the drive.

commiegirl99 June 20, 2012 at 7:31 pm

PLUS SEVENTY!

nounverb911 June 20, 2012 at 5:59 pm

"The coldest winter of my life, was the summer I spent in San Francisco".
–Mark Twain

Doktor Zoom June 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Or not. (Iwas also heartbroken to learn, a few years ago, that Twain never said "History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes" or "Wagner's music isn't nearly as bad as it sounds" (which he did occasionally say, but always attributed to its originator, Bill Nye)

scvirginia June 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Bill Nye, Science Guy? He must be the guy looking for a time traveling partner…

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I have found, after a decade out here, the best way to explain the weather here to folks from Back East(tm) is that August and October are switched out here.

MissTaken June 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

It's warm today, I didn't even wear a jacket!

James Michael Curley June 20, 2012 at 9:56 pm

It hit 98 on the waterfront in Jersey City today. Blistering with all that humidity we have there.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 12:22 am

Yeah, and it always rains in Portland.

Chill_Bill June 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Now we are never gonna be able to out-gay this.

nounverb911 June 20, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Just have a get-together at the republican convention.

iburl June 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Tampa Airport Bathroom Bingo

Sparky McGruff June 21, 2012 at 7:28 am

Convention Center Luggage Lifting

HoytClagwell June 21, 2012 at 8:33 am
a_pink_poodle June 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm

What the penis, no Wonkette staff are coming to Seattle but they're all gonna go to San Francisco, the literal ass-crack of the US? I mean seriously, if the Northeast is the US head and Florida is like the forearms, San Francisco and LA are right at the butt. Pacific Northwest is the tail.

scvirginia June 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Didn't you pay attention in geography? Florida is the limp dick of the nation, not the forearms. Crikey!

a_pink_poodle June 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Even then, San Francisco is the butt! It's even got that open bay going for it.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:38 am

Ok, fine, SF is the cloaca. Butt, you do realize LA and SF are 400 miles (640 km) apart, don't you?

commiegirl99 June 20, 2012 at 6:24 pm

You didn't give us much notice on Seattle before you just cold organized it yourselves!

a_pink_poodle June 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Well it's one of our faults and it's not Seattle's!

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 12:23 am

Ha! We've got bigger faults.

OldWhiteLies June 20, 2012 at 7:01 pm

'SOK. Weejee has the Editrix No Be Here thing covered. At the very least we will have some pictorial representation of you. We'll make sure said likeness is placed in all manner of compromising, er, situations, in the sidewayz pics. Don't worry, your likeness will have a great time. It's the no-hangover way to completely lose an evening.

emmelemm June 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm

We're just that awesome. And what I mean by that is, Weejee is just that awesome.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:38 am

I am seriously impressed. Spontaneous self-assembly rocks.

UW8316154 June 20, 2012 at 11:04 pm

That's how we roll, man. It's How. We. Roll.

FlownOver June 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Consider the chootspah you'd show by infiltrating Brownbackistan! You can even do it the low-risk way by DrinkyThinging in Lawrence, the blue island in the Red Sea!

MissTaken June 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Woo Hoo!

MissTaken is doing her happy dance!

scvirginia June 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm

You are a vision of loveliness, MissTaken.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Naked?

SorosBot June 20, 2012 at 11:10 pm

If only they had done this while I was out there with you last week.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm

A Wonkette party in San Francisco is like a pimple on an elephant. Maybe it is interesting, but who is going to notice?

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Dermatologists?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Well, yes, those sick perverts.

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Skin freaks. Along the lines of all shoe salesmen being foot fetishists.

James Michael Curley June 20, 2012 at 10:05 pm

James Gumb will be at San Francisco Wonketting?

not that Radio June 21, 2012 at 8:49 am

But they have such beautiful words, like "rosacea".

UW8316154 June 20, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Veterinarians?

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 12:23 am

The attendees?

Crank_Tango June 21, 2012 at 2:30 am

Hitler? All of'em, Katie?

qwerty42 June 20, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Say, will Ken drive up from the rancho?

Naked_Bunny June 20, 2012 at 7:56 pm

He'll walk.

CountryClubJihadi June 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Awesome. Friday the 13th and a few days before Mercury goes Retrograde, so the vibes should be interesting. Can't wait.

Guppy June 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Oh, c'mon! You're ignoring the low-hanging fruit! Uranus will be stationary!

Butch_Wagstaff June 20, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Is that a butt joke?

Guppy June 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

In a posting about San Francisco? Would I stoop so low?

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I'll bring one of my telescopes! Saturn on a Friday!

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 12:24 am

♫Stoop a little lower now♪♫

HogeyeGrex June 21, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Would it require bending over?

DerrickWildcat June 21, 2012 at 1:41 am

It seems like every gosh darn day that there's some kind of once in a lifetime event going on up in the sky.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 3:57 am

Nah, Mercury goes retrograde alla time.

Jus_Wonderin June 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

Is this the dawning of the age of aquarius? I am an aquarius. I'll take some dawning; but hold the age.

flamingpdog June 21, 2012 at 10:03 am

Dawn you now your gay apparel?

greenide1 June 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

The hippies used to wear flowers in their hair. Now they're so old, it looks like they're wearing flour in their hair. Sigh.

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I thought the flour in their hair was from the money with bad vibes – sourdough.

finallyhappy June 20, 2012 at 8:54 pm

do not talk about me like that. It is true- I used to paint flowers on my face with Yardley eyeshadow, wear suede fringed vests and wide bell bottoms- now I have a wide bottom and flour hair

Isyaignert July 9, 2012 at 2:38 am

L to the O to the L!!!

bringmeanaxe June 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I vote for Martuni's on Market Street. Soup bowl sized martinis for 6 bucks or so.

Antispandex June 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

" The dive bar has not yet been confirmed…."

I know a nice little place in China Town that also has an excelent Jasmine tea for the designated drivers. It is the best outside of the real China, I'll bet.

TribecaMike June 20, 2012 at 8:44 pm

There are still dive bars in SF?

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Hmmm…Ms glasspusher and I are celebrating our 15th anniversary around then…better to go to Tahoe the weekend before so as not to miss this…

Joshua Norton June 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Here's a good place to check out. They're always doing parties.
http://21st-amendment.com/

MissTaken June 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Good beer!

BoatOfVelociraptors June 20, 2012 at 8:29 pm

There's a 21st amendment bar in SW DC. It's a crappy hotel bar.

Designer_Radio June 21, 2012 at 12:25 am

"Fireside Chat" beer! Damn libs.

gogoguerilla June 21, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Good beer but not necessarily a dive or conducive to large crowds – unless Wonkette can score the upstairs bar?

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm

DULCE!

IonaTrailer June 20, 2012 at 6:29 pm

If anyone is interested I'll organize a Bukowski Memorial Bar Crawl in the dives of San Pedro.

commiegirl99 June 20, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I'll come!

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Last night/I dreamt of/San Pedro…

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:41 am

Hell, with a couple weeks notice, I'll drive down.

Juan_Oriley June 21, 2012 at 2:33 am

Damn, I'm in Palm Springs but that might be worth the haul. Would we run into Mike Watt?

IonaTrailer June 21, 2012 at 11:12 am

Mike Watt and the boys would love to come! I'll call Raul the drummer now.

commiegirl99 June 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

And I'll call Mike!

IonaTrailer June 21, 2012 at 11:15 am

We can go to 'The Rebel", "The Indian Room", "The Spot", "Godmother's", "Harold's", "June's Bar" – and read Bukowski poems!

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Smuggler's Cove!

Seriously (well, not very) anybody coming to The City for this event (or for any other) be sure to visit the Tonga Room. It was going to be closed when the Fairmont went condo. That's on hold – but in my heart of heart's it's only a matter of time.

Also – for that WW II I'm-going-off-to-War-last-night-in-town vibe, check out the Top of the Mark. What a view!

Rebecca – in the interests of keeping Wonkettes alive, please pick a spot downtown and near BART! SOMA is full of neat bars.

Can't wait!

Joshua Norton June 20, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Top of the Mark is kind of "elite". Last time I was there they required men to wear coat and tie. Plus I don't think this crowd is in the mood to spend $20.00 for a martini. But the view is fantastic, so you never know.

http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/f0c44sTsuLDmJO7tPC

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 9:09 pm

You mean like the Palmer House in Chicago ("No Jacket Required")?

I'm old enough to remember when people in San Francisco really dressed. The weather allows it. Noadays you see people in the Financial District going to work in their pj's.

Go to the Top of the Mark for Happy Hour. Savor one drink. They have the coolest drink menu. Old timey cocktail vibe.

John's Grill, dead downtown, turned a few lines in "The Maltese Falcoln" into a lifetime promotion. Can't recommend it for dinner – but a great place for a Manhattan.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 3:29 am

Also, too, if anybody comes to the city for the first time, they gotta get a drink at the Top. What a view.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:09 am

When they close the Tonga Room, the heart of SF will take a shot.

Question: does the lobby bar at the Fairmont still make the world's most lethal G&T? I've not been for five-six years.

BarackMyWorld June 20, 2012 at 6:36 pm

CAN'T YOU PEOPLE GET CLOSER TO KANSAS CITY THAN 700 MILES???

SayItWithWookies June 21, 2012 at 12:57 am

Quitcher bitchin — they can't get within a hundred years of Richmond. It's lonely back in time.

Antispandex June 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

What's wrong with Denver? They have hippies. The alcohol hits better at altitude, or so I'm told. And, I could drive there in less than a day. San Francisco? What a jip!

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Upthumbs for Denver! But wait til the fall. It's like 451 degrees Fahrenheit here these days.

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm

And it's less than a day's drive for Barb!

UW8316154 June 20, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Isn't Denver like, on FIRE right now?

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 11:24 pm

LIke I said, it's like 451 degrees F here. I think Biel came to town without telling anyone.

Designer_Radio June 20, 2012 at 11:59 pm

I remember one time in Denver (2002?) when suddenly it snowed fucking ash all day. I got super-respiratorily sick and feverish shortly thereafter, not sure if coincident or cause. Seriously, Ash Snow — it ACCUMULATED on my car.

flamingpdog June 21, 2012 at 12:38 am

That would be the Hayman Fire. I don't remember ash fall where I work in SE Denver, but it definitely smelled like there was a fire on the next block, not 90 miles away, and it was harder to breath than usual.

littlebigdaddy June 20, 2012 at 11:56 pm

And there is medicinal mj. We could meet at El Chapultepec, which was a fave of the Beats, as well as Miles Davis and other jazz greats.

TribecaMike June 20, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Have fun at the fern bar, yuppies!

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 7:42 pm

"Norm Slick" just died – remember Henry Africa's, the First Fern Bar? Drank himself to death.

Towards the end he lived in the front window of Eddie Rickenbacker's (this is not a joke, by the way) sucking oxygen through a tube. Not a pretty site. Remarkably enough, it didn't put a damper on the festivities. Did give me a start one morning when I walked by and saw him in a huddle of blankets.

TribecaMike June 20, 2012 at 8:27 pm

I lived in SF in the early 80's, and one of the first things I was told by the locals was if I had any self-respect I'd avoid Henry Africa's like the plague. Do you know if Ivie's (behind the Opera House) is still around? That was a nice joint. One time, the pope drove right by in his popemobile and all the queers and straights rushed out to cheer, wave and/or flip the bird, and il papa waved back. Don't know if he cheered back, since he was in a bubble.

More rambling: My fave SF dive bar back then was Dick's, a little family-owned place in Eureka Valley across from the library. All the 60's underground cartoonists hung out there; even R. Crumb came down from the mountain once in a while. Most warped pool table ever, but also the most fun pool table ever, and where I played my best game of my life against the house champ, both of us coked out of our gills. Good times.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 12:30 am

Ivie's was nice. Don't know if it's still there — haven't been to the ballet for ten years.

Butch_Wagstaff June 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Speaking of San Francisco, if none of you have seen the documentary We Were Here about the early day of AIDS in that city, DO SO. But there's a good possibility that you'll become a crying mess during parts of it.

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 7:44 pm

It was a plague. I worked in the party and event business and we lost an entire generation of remarkably creative people – set designers, lighting experts, costumers, caterers,waitstaff and bartenders, entertainers, et. al.

Remember Studio West?

All gone now…

mrblifil June 20, 2012 at 7:15 pm

It's all fun and games until some dude gets killed at Altamont.

DustBowlBlues June 20, 2012 at 7:16 pm

This is so disappointing. I was sure other people would join me in selecting the OK Panhandle because of, you know, the dust thing and the Ken Burns doc and probably Jesus. I had the tent ready to pitch over the site of the formerly busy but now ghost town, Beer City, too, hoping we could use wonkette-voodoo to conjure cowboy zombies who could not catch us because they are drunk and then we could laugh at them stumbling and falling on the ground.

The best defense against the zombie Apocalypse is derision and scorn. Since you want to be in prissy SF, you are just going to have to take my word on that.

Have fun without me, traitors. (Only on this site would I edit to correct a split infinitive. Are you happy, English majors?)

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:31 am

I'm thinking the panhandle itself is a slightly tough sell because of the transportation thing. Could you do Denver? Obviously, it'd have to be an overnight, just like me coming down from my foothill exile. Just thinkin'.

BTW, I was a physics major, but I take grammar seriously. And even when I went to school, they told me splitting an infinitive was acceptable if it avoided an awkward construction. ;>)

not that Radio June 21, 2012 at 8:56 am

The rule sticks around because of the prominence of EB White. This is a fun read which explains why we should ignore most of White's grammar advice.

Blendergoathead June 20, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Lucky 13 in the Castro and Zeitgeist in the Mission both have outdoor areas, just sayin'…

buttsechs, also!

SheriffRoscoe June 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I'm so there! Can we have a kissing booth?

CountryClubJihadi June 20, 2012 at 7:48 pm

I'm bringing a change of underwear.

glasspusher June 20, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I'm going commando

Naked_Bunny June 20, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Wear a box on your head, Sheriff Volunteer.

P.S. Put a hole in the front. Turns out it works better that way.

Designer_Radio June 21, 2012 at 12:01 am

Mm, who's gonna have boxes on their hands?

Fare la Volpe June 21, 2012 at 6:59 am

Are you telling him to cut a hole in the box? I wonder what he could put in that hole in the box…

SheriffRoscoe June 21, 2012 at 7:50 am

Peach Schnapps.

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Can I send my nephew who lives in SF as an alternate, Commie Girl? He's a writer (= unemployed trust fund baby) and a librul, too, and is a snarkster, also, too.

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I never saw an answer to "The Name Tag Question."

Do we wear our avatar? I think I volunteered to be someone else – was that you, Miss Taken?

This is so embarassing – I'm too excited to think clearly. Must be the fumes. Picked a heck of a week to stop sniffing glue…

CountryClubJihadi June 20, 2012 at 7:55 pm

If only we could play "To Tell The Truth" and have the real avatar "please stand up".

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Or "Match the Avator."

We each bring a copy of our Avatar and it does into a big bowl – like a business card drawing.

Then Rebecca pulls them out and the crowd tries to pick who it is.

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Wait! If you play MissTaken do I get to play Tundra Grifter? This is all so confusing.

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 4:12 pm

MissTaken:

I was befuddled with excitement. I'd promised lisawines to be her if the party ever came to The City. I can't be you because I have already promised another.

However, since I won't be me you can be me. Just don't try to cash a check anywhere downtown.

To be or not to be…

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 20, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Someone needs to tune their guitars in that hippie footage.

Monsieur_Grumpe June 20, 2012 at 8:44 pm

If you ever come to Minneapolis don't do it in the winter unless you really hate yourself.

Designer_Radio June 21, 2012 at 12:21 am

Even with its wind-sheltering buildings, downtown barhopping can be a vicious and bitter fight for survival.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 3:58 am

May, nah? Or early October.

wolvenwood13 June 21, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Don't go in spring, summer or fall either. Trust me, I used to live there once upon a time.

owhatever June 20, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Last chance, Mr/Ms/Mrs/It Wonkette, to have me, the deposed Nigerian prince, pay for your drinking habit. Remember that you will receive half of my vast fortune if you help me recover it. The Brothers Koch and the Trump are showing serious interest, so you must hurry. Credit card and Social Security number urgent quick and drink drunk for free in Saint Frandisco! Your friend, N.P.

finallyhappy June 20, 2012 at 8:56 pm

will there ever be another Dc meetup?

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I would fly in from the wild, wild west for that one. Hometown, more or less, although I haven't lived there since Jeer-old Ford was Prezdint.

Tundra Grifter June 20, 2012 at 8:57 pm

OK – I just spent about half an hour trying to figure out who I had promised to be if Wonkette ever came to San Francisco.

I felt even more like a jerk than usual because I couldn't remember whom I had promised. A promise to a fellow Wonketter is sacred. Like a blood oath, only serious.

Well, I figured it out – our American in Paris, Lisawines.

I'll be there, and I'll be you!

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 10:19 pm

He/she's not a witch, Lisawines, he/she's YOU!

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:42 am

Our American in Paris, who is currently in Mexico.

Blueb4sunrise June 20, 2012 at 9:29 pm

LMAO
GTFO
LULZ
WTF

Declassified document contradicts Cheney’s claim of Iraqi connection to 9/11
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/06/20/declassifie

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Didn't we know this nine years ago?

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 12:31 am

Um, this cannot be "news".

CapnRadio June 21, 2012 at 1:04 am

From the article:

A survey conducted in Sept. of last year (PDF) by the University of Maryland found that at least 38 percent of Americans still believe the U.S. “found clear evidence in Iraq that Saddam Hussein was working closely with Al Qaeda.” An additional 15 percent still believe Iraq was “directly involved in carrying out” the Sept. 11 attacks.

"Okay, next question: 'Do you believe that the U.S. found clear evidence in Iraq that Saddam Hussein was working closely with Al Qaeda?' Uh huh. Okay, then I have two follow-ups: 'Really?' and 'How do you feed yourself?'"

flamingpdog June 21, 2012 at 1:14 am

True fact: I supported Obama over Hillary in the run-up to the primary (after slimeball Edwards dropped out) for one reason: She had said, when questioned about voting for going into Iraq on the basis of lies, "How could we have known?". Um, maybe by reading multiple news articles on the internet at the time, maybe? That left me with two possibilities: (1) ignorant, or (2) lying, war-mongering bitch.

Crank_Tango June 21, 2012 at 2:37 am

Well, what else do you expect her to monger, fish? No wait, don't answer that.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:45 am

This is, as they say, why we cannot have nice things (because 38% + 15% of our compatriots are functional morons).

not that Radio June 21, 2012 at 8:48 am

You think they're functional?

shiningmathpath June 20, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Aub Zam Zam in the Haight for the dive bar
http://www.yelp.com/biz/aub-zam-zam-san-francisco

Had my first martini there when I was 17. Don't know why Bruno didn't kick me out, cuz I was as much a goddamned hippie as the rest … those were the days *sniff*

DahBoner June 21, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Mad Dog in the Fog?

Extemporanus June 20, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I'll be there—wherever the hell there is—huge-ass fucking donation* in hand.

*(penis?)

emmelemm June 20, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Like your new avatar, btw.

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 10:15 pm

This is the last blog post of the night? Should have known when I saw the "DONATE" button.

valgal2342 June 20, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Wonkette should come to Louisville, KY. It is centrally located and a few hours drive from a lot of places. Yes, we have our teeth & indoor plumbing, yes it's friendly territory and yes….we are a great party town!
And…..it is quite affordable

mrpuma2u June 21, 2012 at 11:45 am

Speaking of affordable, do you have a line (we say " I know a guy" in Chicago) on da moonshines? Not the made-in-a-radiator stuff either.

DahBoner June 21, 2012 at 2:55 pm

It's close to Heavensville!!!! 1!!! 1!!!

valgal2342 June 21, 2012 at 3:16 pm

@mrpuma2u – Yea, I know a guy.

Steverino247 June 20, 2012 at 10:24 pm

I can leave work (Vic. 78 and I-5) about 11 a.m. and get there in time for the party, then cruise (wrong word!), er, drive down to Palo Alto where my people will be over the summer and then back home on Sunday. Anyone wants to ride up with me or to be picked up on the way (room for two regular adults and one small one behind me as long as you don't kick my seat and whine about how long it takes to get there) can let me know. You can't smoke (anything) in my car. Similar musical tastes preferred (Zappa, Pink Floyd, etc., anything with a flute, pretty much) but I'm open to new (to me) stuff if it's musical. You'd probably have to stay in the Palo Alto area or meet me there about noon Sunday for the return trip.

subsum June 20, 2012 at 10:33 pm

When are you fuckers coming to Austin?

fartknocker June 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

Agreed subsum. We can take them to the Poodle Dog Lounge for the most STDs in Travis County or downtown where we drink Mexican Martinis and Tapas.

ttommyunger June 20, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Girls, keep your legs crossed. Boys, don't bend over….They will trick you and dick you before you can throw them and blow them, just sayin'

Sharkey June 20, 2012 at 10:48 pm

This sounds better than Burning Man.

neiltheblaze June 20, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Are the Airplane gonna be there?

thatsitfortheother1 June 21, 2012 at 5:22 am

Hot Tuna are still playing.

DerrickWildcat June 20, 2012 at 10:51 pm

That place scares me a little bit.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:58 am

1. No

2. The SF Bay is bordered by wetlands. I presume you already know that there are birds there. You know you'd love it.

DemmeFatale June 21, 2012 at 11:03 am

Nah.
NYC. Now THERE'S a scary, (but wonderful), place!
(And bobbert is right, the birds in the baylands are awesome!)

flamingpdog June 20, 2012 at 11:39 pm
DemmeFatale June 21, 2012 at 12:33 am

I know, right?
I'm sure that seeing ol' baby-head turd blossom in the slammer would have been quite gratifying.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:04 am

For the same reason she didn't try to impeach Bush* — it would have alienated some of the small number of actually independent voters. There aren't anywhere near as many real independents as those who claim to be, but it's possible that 5-10% of voters really do choose candidates without too much partisan pre-selection.

It was a political decision. Personally, I would have tried to lock the fucker up just to wipe the smirk off his face; but then again, I've never been Majority Leader.

* Also, too, with respect to W, there was exactly zero chance that he would be convicted by a 2/3 majority in the Senate, so it really would have been a giant waste of time. And, I speculate that if Nancy had allowed impeachment to become the "new normal", we'd already be well into the Obama impeachment hearings.

thatsitfortheother1 June 21, 2012 at 5:25 am

Ehem, Speaker.

Biff June 21, 2012 at 9:28 am

Wasting time is still the exclusive domain of the oppo party.

CapnRadio June 21, 2012 at 1:04 am

He kept oozing out of the handcuffs.

CarnyTrash June 21, 2012 at 12:25 am

Southern Pacific Brewing is a cool place.

OsoPerezoso June 21, 2012 at 1:27 am

Is the event going to be 21+? I can come regardless, but my brother not so much.

Biff June 21, 2012 at 9:28 am

Doesn't he have a fake ID, like everyone else?

OsoPerezoso June 27, 2012 at 12:42 am

No, though he could easily pass for my twin….

BoatOfVelociraptors June 21, 2012 at 1:34 am

I remember doing a meetup in Oakland at some dive bar where you had names carved into the bar. It also had a stripper pole, which was useful for my stripper friends. Everyone was in town prepping for burning man at the warehouse,, so it was kind of a Seattle people pre-funk.

Swade518 June 21, 2012 at 1:49 am

Might I suggest the 500 Club on Valencia, or perhaps the Rock Bar on 29th & Mission.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 1:50 am

I'm excited. I always like to go into town for a few days every year, and this looks like the time (barring an embarrassing senior malfunction).

radio-of-owls June 21, 2012 at 2:28 am

Nine of the last ten.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 3:32 am

Okay, I give up, owls-obscura. WTF?

not that Radio June 21, 2012 at 8:42 am

It's converging on a stable solution.

CapnRadio June 21, 2012 at 2:41 pm
NYNYNYjr June 21, 2012 at 2:34 am

Sweet sweet sweet galloping Jesus… Thomas Kincaide died and today LeRoy Neiman. Satan must have called them home because he needed a huge mural of Michael Jordan dunking a basket outside a shitty little cottage in the hell cafeteria. Goodbye dear Prince Neiman! May your work soon be worth in money what is culturally.

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 3:50 am

You know, I never really cared about the vast amounts of money Neiman and Kincade collected for their dreck. The only reason to care would be if you thought that they were capturing dollars that might otherwise have gone to real artists.

But, I think that's unlikely. The folks that bought Tom and Leroy's stuff weren't in the market for art — they were looking for something that matched their decor. There has always been a brisk market in lack-of-surprise.

Pat_Pending June 21, 2012 at 2:34 am

I'm afraid of what everyone will look like. I went to the Sexy Liberal Show (Stephanie Miller/Hal Sparks/John Fugelsang), and although they're all quite attractive, the audience was… challenged in the mirror, shall we say… and that was SF, ferpetessake,

bobbert June 21, 2012 at 3:33 am

Well, in my case, Ima look like a 64-yo pasty white guy, so brace yourself.

mrpuma2u June 21, 2012 at 11:49 am

I too went to the SLS in Chi-town, and it made me feel so young, as most of the aging hippies had age parity with my parental units. I'm no spring chicken but sheesh!

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I assure you I do not look like Judy Jetson in real life. But I do have ten fingers, ten toes, and two boobs.

And SorosBot thought I was cute enough to put his penis inside me, so there's that.

OneYieldRegular June 21, 2012 at 2:35 am

I'm so late, and it's so late, and I'm gone for the next week, but I will be there, I will. Thanks!

Biff June 21, 2012 at 9:36 am

In memory of my dear old, dearly departed Dad, I'd nominate two (formerly) dive bars he used to tend–Murio's Trophy Room on Haight, and/or the Twin Peaks Tavern in the Castro, which is now a well-lit fern bar, so you might want to scratch that one…

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Biff:

Isn't there also a Twin Peaks Bar at the top of Market Street? Near that grocery store in the litte shopping center.

Biff June 21, 2012 at 4:52 pm

When I lived there, it was on the corner of 17th and Collingwood, across from the old Littleman's Market. I left over 45 years ago, nothing is as it was.

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Biff:

That's the place.

Somethings are as they were – and some things never was.

Biff June 21, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Memory is faulty, turns out it was at 18th. I moved from the 'hood in 1967, so I am
A) entitled to forget minor details, and
2) fucking old.

On another corner was Gertie Guernsey's ice cream parlor. Loved that place…

fartknocker June 21, 2012 at 10:09 am

The Fairmont Hotel has an excellent Tiki Bar in the basement which makes beverages that are ignitable. What a fun experience that could be.

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

If you are ever in Alameda the Forbidden Island has the yummiest, and flamiest!, tiki drinks imaginable. Last Halloween my friend had one too many Zombies and busted out her two front teeth on the telephone pole outside. Fun times!
http://www.forbiddenislandalameda.com/

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Yes! They also run Smuggler's Cove in The City (Gough at McAllister, kinda behind City Hall).

"How do you make a Zombie?"

"Get her drunk."

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Tonga TONGA!

Left_Leftie June 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

This will be the BEST Friday the 13th EVER!
I vote for Zetgeist! It has same name as that conspiracy movie and there's an outdoor patio at that joint. Yelp description: divey/hipster Blah people (like me) are welcome also too.

DahBoner June 21, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Whatever you do, don't fly into/outof SFO, unless you want to be delayed.

Try sunny Oakland, instead.

//Learned the hard way

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Yes – SFO has "Tule Fog" in the early morning. Flight delays are very common.

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Seriously. It's 1 pm and there's still delays due to fog. Summer in the City indeed.
http://www.fly.faa.gov/flyfaa/usmap.jsp

SorosBot June 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm

So were we lucky that my flight out wasn't delayed?

MissTaken June 21, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Yup! During the summer it's very common for flight delays due to the fog.

SorosBot June 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm

If only Oakland would have direct flights to/from Philly.

ttommyunger June 21, 2012 at 10:14 pm

If you go there and are a jogger, you MUST jog the Golden Gate. It is an exhilarating and once in a lifetime experience. Walk it round trip if you don't jog; it is safe and awe-inspiring.

berkeleyfarm June 22, 2012 at 1:15 am

CommieMama would be so proud!

I'm hoping to be there!

Blendergoathead June 22, 2012 at 1:23 am

540? Really? Sweet jesus.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 22, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Fucking hell, that's nowhere near BART or anything handy. Can't trust people from LA to understand public transport, I guess.

You're trying to get us all murdered, aren't you? Admit it.

I'll still be there, but I'll MOAN

blatherous July 8, 2012 at 9:11 pm

This will be a good place to meet smart women.

Nothing better than a hottie who can write well…

Callyson June 21, 2012 at 1:26 am

Here's hoping I don't get tons of spam…e – mail is Callyson2004@yahoo.com. Have one last accounting final tomorrow night but will have time after that to chat. Cheers!

Crank_Tango June 21, 2012 at 2:26 am

I'm so spamming you!

Tyrannically_Joe June 21, 2012 at 5:57 pm

I think I've had a few nightmares that started that way.

glasspusher June 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I'm a manual tranny guy myself…

Isyaignert July 9, 2012 at 2:36 am

Ahhh, Hey Nineteen, my favorite Steely Dan song.

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