and who said accountability was dead

Darrell Issa Will Put Eric Holder In Gitmo Forever And Then Steal His Cars

Everything's coming up Darrell!Oil-soaked arsonist car thief Rep. Darrell Issa, the unlikely subpoena-wielding chair of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, appears at long last to be fulfilling his duty of stickin’ it to the Obama administration over one grossly exaggerated scandal during an election year. Since Issa and AG Eric Holder weren’t able to reach a deal about releasing documents pertaining to Operation Fast and Furious, the ATF “gun walking” sting gone wrong, both sides are digging in for the coming annoyances. Evil authoritarian Barack Obama today became a Man by invoking executive privelege for the first time; Issa’s committee, meanwhile, is prepared to hold a contempt vote on Holder this afternoon. So exciting! How much longer can it be before Rep. Dan Burton starts shooting pumpkins?

The last time House Republicans brought contempt proceedings against a Democratic attorney general was… the last time Democrats had an attorney general, Janet Reno. The oversight committee voted to hold her in contempt in 1998 for being unattractive, but a deal was cut before the full House ever got to vote on it. (For more on Janet Reno’s unattractiveness, we refer you to the classic John McCain joke, “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.”)

But dealmaking is not this Republican Congress’ forte, and Eric Holder is blah, so he should prepare to be prosecuted by one of his subordinates:

In response, House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), who led Wednesday’s hearing to review the contempt charges, said he learned of Obama’s decision early Wednesday and believes the move “falls short of any reason to delay today’s proceedings.”

If the House committee cites Holder for criminal contempt, it would open a process that would require House Speaker John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) to schedule a floor vote. If passed by the full House, the matter would then move to the U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia, Ronald C. Machen Jr., who is an employee of the Justice Department.

It’s becoming clear that if this era in American life and politics is remembered for one thing, it will be “Operation Fast and Furious.”


About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  1. SorosBot

    Just like the Clinton years. I guess the one good thing about Republican administrations is that the Congress investigates scandals which involve real criminal wrongdoing and not shit that was just made up.

      1. SorosBot

        I'm so old I even voted for Clinton in his reelection; getting old sucks. But those were good times, before a certain Texan idiot went and destroyed everything.

        1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

          I remember that! That was back in the days when I was going to an actually affordable college, something that no longer exists. I'm old too! And sorry we fucked everything up for all the millenials, but at least I got mine!

          1. SorosBot

            Sorry youngs; you'll be unemployed and loaded with debt forever, but at least the financial industry is making record profits!

        2. Crank_Tango

          Shit, I voted for him the first time! I missed out on voting for Dukakis because I turned 18 just after the election, despite my rampant Dukakamania, which all the kids had back in 88.

          1. glasspusher

            I was young and stupid in '84 and voted for Reagan. Been trying to atone for it ever since.

          2. SorosBot

            We've all got our youthful embarrassments; I actually voted for Ralph Nader in 2000 – so I voted for W. Bush – that was really awful.

          3. Negropolis

            I was but a twinkle in my mother's eye in 1984, who was so not interested in politics at the time that she probably didn't even know who was running for president. So, yeah, we all make mistakes. lol

    1. Truantly_Joe

      that the Congress investigates scandals which involve real criminal wrongdoing

      Except, of course, when they decide to use their electoral mandate to unilaterally declare that they absolutely won't investigate said criminal wrongdoing.

    2. bobbert

      Hi kids. I've got your old right here. I voted for Humphrey. The day after I turned 21.

      Most of my votes since then have been similarly pointless.

      Enjoy young while it's there.

      1. James Michael Curley

        I voted for Humphrey and it may have been counted. Getting registered to vote and voting in only a seven or eight days while at a somewhere in hell fire base is not an easy job. Since we were being mortared often and I was flying high risk missions during the day I can still remember the feeling that it wouldn't count because I would be dead before the election. At least in that environment I could wear my "Dick Nixon before he dicks you." patch on my flight jacket and nobody cared.

        1. bobbert

          This is a very out-of-timeline reply, but I hope you'll get an email.

          Jesus. In '68 I was a college senior in AFROTC (the refuge of the lower-middle-class with a decent GPA). I was put out that I had to drive from Madison to Milwaukee (and back) to vote. While we did get pepper-gassed quite bit during that year, they never deployed mortars.

          A couple of decades ago, there was a little flurry of 40-ish right-wing "pundits" saying shit like "I kind of wish I had actually gone to 'Nam, for the experience and general manliness". Aside from the fact that they were all lying, I can tell you with great certainty that I was perfectly — nay, transcendentally — happy to perform my military service in a non-combat role.

          In later years, I have gained friends who were in country. Occasionally, they will tell me shit. About all I can say is "Man, I'm glad you got through it".

          Man, I'm glad you got through it.

  2. Come here a minute

    You can tell the Republicans are being disingenuous when the thing they're complaining about involves buying more guns.

    1. Lucidamente1

      I think you mean:

      You can tell the Republicans are being disingenuous because their lips are moving.

  3. nounverb911

    "would require House Speaker John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) to schedule a floor vote."
    Which would require Boehner to actually do some work.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      How much longer can it be before Rep. Dan Burton starts shooting pumpkins?

      I, of course, appended that in my head with "out of his butt."

    2. James Michael Curley

      First its cool that it has three times as many dislikes as likes. But what is it with the totally spastic loading. He takes it out of one pocket, transfers the round to the other hand before he chambers it. This requires him to switch the hands holding the shot gun eight or nine times, a risky movement at best while using a momentary non hand grip on it. Says a lot for one or both of two things, his mental acuity to manager high functioning manual tasks it poor or he doesn't learn shit from a gun safety class (if he ever took one).

  4. Steverino247

    I thought that as long as American gun and ammo manufacturers were selling product, "anything goes" was the policy. I guess the fine print reads "Except when a black guy is President." Had our guys not been killed by those weapons and ammo, I daresay we would never have heard "Fast and Furious" outside a movie theater or game store.

    1. Guppy

      The problem is that the freedom-loving gun stores don't want anybody to know which ones are selling guns to Iranian Mexican terrorists.

      1. James Michael Curley

        The problem is that the freedom-loving ARIZONA gun stores don't want anybody to know which ones are selling guns to Iranian Mexican terrorists.

    1. Steverino247

      To paraphrase a line from another vampire movie: Sooner or later, the thirst (for power) always wins.

  5. OkieDokieDog

    This guy should have become an actor. He could make an honest living being an evil villain.

  6. Doktor Zoom

    Will they also impeach Holder for his corrupt decision not to prosecute the New Black Panthers? Because those two scary guys standing around a polling place that one time is still the biggest scandal in this unspeakably corrupt administration.

  7. Maman

    Doesn't seem that for the inevitability that Darrell Issa would "find" something about the White House to investigate that we should have at least had a show trial for Bush and Cheney?

    1. Isyaignert

      At the very least, but frankly, I'd rather hand over Bushco to The Hague and let an International War Court sort it out.

  8. Baconzgood

    Why do anything about jobs when it's sooooooo easy to waste time and get paid? Am I right or am I right or am I right, right?

    1. Guppy

      Any day that Issa talks about something else is a day Issa doesn't dismantle the USPS. This is his jobs program.

  9. ChernobylSoup

    Why doesn't Holder just release a few secret documents to Issa, wait until Issa shows them to a staffer, then prosecute Issa for some violation of secret document rules?

    1. GuyClinch

      Good memory. What's more, Issa quietly rehired the diarrhea-mouth staffer, Kurt Bardella, some time ago, as a "Professional Staff Member" on the committee, where he no doubt kisses major Issass when not wasting time and money with stupid partisan shit like this.

    2. glamourdammerung

      Why does Obama and/or Holder not bring that very thing up while discussing the executive privilege use?

      And "because it would make Republicans cry" is not valid answer.

    3. James Michael Curley

      Cherry pick a few that have Bush and Cheney's fingerprints all over them (like gross spelling mistakes and toxic, venomous drool) and release them to the press. That will shut up Issa and all the Republicans who are hoping nobody notices that Dubya ran this program for four years.

  10. hagajim

    Pretty much anything Issa does might as well be Operation Dumbo Drop…because he's a dumb asshat, who if investigated, would probably be found to have committed numerous criminal acts.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Issa has been investigated, numerous times by numerous police authorities for theft, auto theft, assault with a weapon, illegal weapons possession, arson, fraud and conspiracy (since a number of the alleged crimes were committed with his older brother) but not tagged. It also appears that he got the benefit of 'first time offender' status a couple times. Most of these actions occurred when he was in his late teens and early twenties in the early 70's. If interested in further info:

  11. mavenmaven

    The birth of a new "conservative hero" along with Scott Walker and Rick Scott. Quite the group of heroes!

    1. Biff

      Re-birth, more like it. He almost single-handedly financed the recall of Gray Davis, thinking he might be the pretender to the throne. Cried like a baby when that didn't work, but look at his sorry ass now.
      For fuck's sake.

      1. elviouslyqueer

        Oh, of course not!

        On a party-line vote, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee voted 23 to 17 to hold Holder in contempt for failing to share documents related to the operation run out of the Phoenix division of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives between 2009 and 2011, with the backing of the U.S. attorney in Phoenix.

        1. HogeyeGrex

          One has to wonder if the US Attorney in question was one of those Bush appointees that refused to step down at the end of his term. Seeing as how AZ still has an "acting" USA, Imma say probably yeah.

          1. smokefilledroommate

            Actually, Dennis Burke resigned late last year because of Fast and Furious, John Leonardo is scheduled for a Sen. Judiciary hearing to be nominated for the empty position strangely enough, tomorrow. That's the reason for the present acting US Atty.

          2. HogeyeGrex

            Thanks. That clears up a thing or two.

            They didn't make much mention of him on their site.

        2. Biel_ze_Bubba

          It's getting to the point where "party line" can just be assumed as the modifier for any vote these fuckers stage, whether it's the House, Senate, or Supreme Court.

      2. James Michael Curley

        Notice the 'party lines' count. I have come close to yelling at a congressman over how the Repubs were allowed to increase the partisan disparity over the last two congresses (One with a Democratic Majority and the current with a Republican Majority) and the response was that Pelosi was naive and too trusting and the bargaining chip the democrats were using was to prevent the majority leadership from eroding the process whereby bills actually get to the floor for a vote. Run through about six years of "Ways and Means" and the number of bills which are circulated to a slow death in committee has grown exponentially. Of course, Charlie Rangle sticking his hand and dick in wherever he could slip them did not help either.

        Maybe I should start yelling more.

    1. Isyaignert

      Do you realize that this is the FIRST TIME in US history that an Attorney General has been held in contempt?

      Have I told you lately HOW MUCH I HATE THESE FUKKERS?

  12. Baconzgood

    What's all the fuss about a shitty Vin Diesel film? I know it was bad but I think that congress should look into why The Pacifier was made first.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    Darrell Issa is the kind of paranoid schizophrenic conspiracy theorist amoral swindling chiseling grifter that Orly Taitz can only dream of being.

  14. Biff

    Of course it never occurred to the asshats that the whole thing started under shrub's man Mukasey, and Holder actually shut it down. Seems to be their entire gameplan, though. Break shit, then blame the opposition for it…

  15. BlueStateLibel

    What? The Repubs are putting their intensive job-creating efforts on hold for this?

  16. randcoolcatdaddy

    "…dealmaking is not this Republican Congress’ forte…."

    That's the understatement of the century….

  17. ElPinche

    I can feel the gravitational pull of the mind-boggling gigantic fonts at Huffpo already.

  18. Chichikovovich

    Remember when Karl Rove was subpoenaed by Congress in connection with the firing of US Attorneys who refused to pursue flimsy politically motivated charges against Democrats? (Remember, cases with no chance of success in court, but it would look bad in an election year just to have the charges filed.)

    And remember when he just flat blew the Judiciary committee off and didn't show up? And made it clear that he wouldn't show up? And it was clear that no Administration branch would do the arresting and making him show up? I bet lover of Congressional prerogatives Darrel Issa was sooooo angry about that.

      1. James Michael Curley

        The "Energy Committee" never issued a subpoena and there is long standing legal dictum that responding to a 'request' or an 'invitation' and appearing before a House or Senate committee is a jurisdictional courtesy. Fcuk Madison and Marbury and the horses they rode in on.

    1. Isyaignert

      Every time I see KKKarl Rove's fat fugly mug, I think to myself, "Shouldn't that fukker be in jail for contempt of Congress?"

    2. RavenRant

      Yes, I DO remember! Are Wonkette commenters the only non-amnesiac Americans? Certainly, we're not going to be reminded about Rove and Cheney's contempt of congress anywhere in our 'liberal' media.

  19. rickmaci

    So this is what we have become? A guy like Eric Holder, who has devoted his career to serving the judicial interests of the United States under Republican and Democratic Presidents, is now being harassed and badgered into judicial hell by an arsonist car thief con man whose only claim to authority is that he managed to get rich preying on people's fear of getting their car stolen. Shame on all of us for letting this happen. What a world. What a world.

  20. Generation[redacted]

    Shit, Holder. Just tell them the guns were used to kill communists. They'd pin a medal on you.

  21. Cato56

    He's the least equipped person to be running anything about ethics. The creator of a car alarm so annoying that I nearly took an ice ax to some douchebag's BMW that squawked about "Protected by Viper! Step back!" every time one of the multitude of homeless cats jumped on the car. Parked right under my bedroom window. Four-fucking-thirty in the morning after working the night desk at the newspaper isn't the time I'm feeling too forgiving about some POS car and it's stoopid alarm.

    OK, back to Issa. He has always been a mega-dickhead. Corrupt as the day is long.

    1. DustBowlBlues

      Mine never do, even though I'm sitting here in the Dust Bowl, where we have proudly given America some of the more moronic shit the nation has ever seen?

    2. glamourdammerung

      And Republicans are going to make a 180 turn to tell us about why we should listen to a union now?

    3. Negropolis

      They can kiss his black ass is what they can do. Where were they when Bush started this thing up at Holder actually ended? Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em with desert cactus.

  22. TheGyrus

    I hope Holder gets taken down. Not because of these charges – they are stupid – but because Holder's the guy who provided the legal opinion saying that the president should be allowed to assassinate anyone he wants, even American citizens. So, fuck that guy. I hope the House Republicans eat him for dinner.

  23. DustBowlBlues

    Will someone please refresh my memory over why Democratic presidents are hounded by shit like this to such an extent you can't afford a job there unless you have a good lawyer on speed dial but none of the shit the War Criminal administration did was ever investigated, before or after they pseudo-served the used-to-be republic?

    1. RavenRant

      Because their crimes 'happened in the past' and we 'don't want to look back, we want to look forward.'

      I wish every criminal attorney in the country used that line while defending murderers, rapists, armed robbers, and so forth, just to hammer home what asinine, ludicrous, indefensible crap that line of 'reasoning' is.

  24. Antispandex

    A contempt vote, in the Republican controled House. How could this possibly turn out? The suspense is almost too much to bear.

  25. DustBowlBlues

    Will someone please refresh my memory over why Democratic presidents are hounded by shit like this to such an extent you can't afford a job there unless you have a good lawyer on speed dial but none of the shit the War Criminal administration did was ever investigated nor any of this crap that's being hurled at Holder.

    PS Fuck Republithugs

  26. DustBowlBlues

    Damn. No one–no offense, antispan–is around while I type this brilliant insight: I think this is all about the ATF. They haven't had a permanent director for years, no matter the president, because fucking Republithugs hate them for enforcing laws against criminals' 2nd. Amendment rights.

    PS Fuck Republicts

  27. glamourdammerung

    President Obama really should compromise here. There could be a setup for Issa and gang to get their documents. We could call it "Operation Huge Waste of Money Fishing Expedition". Anyway, some DoJ folks would be moved there to provide documents full time to Issa and gang for their various "investigations". The deal is though that any leaks get the full legal penalties exercised against the transgressor.

  28. ttommyunger

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but all we heard from this committee during Dubya's years was fucking crickets…

  29. Willardbot9000_V2.5

    Soooooo….apparently Mike Vanderboegh that insane teabagger-militia wacko has fomented this entire "operation" as being part of some far flung, counter intuitive "assault" by 'confiscators' (people with thumbs) to "take arrr gunnnnssssss!" By some sort of false flag operation or whatever. That "break their windows!" Vanderboegh thought this up is par for the course. But that not only is he a paid Fuxxx Nuuuzzz contributor but he also had demented wingnut Congress things saying it as well. Holder called the questions about it absurd which in wingnut world means "confirmed" god but I hate fucking wingnuts…..

  30. Negropolis

    Shouldn't Darrell be stealing candy from babies, or throwing bound women on railroad tracks or some shit?

    Democrats, elections have consequences.

  31. owhatever

    Wait a minnit. Issa, the guy so hot on Fast and Furious, was once charged with Grand Theft Auto and other crimes? Sounds like his committee should subpoena him.

  32. Negropolis

    The absolutely insane thing about this is Holder has been about as non-hostile to conservative legal interests as a Democratic nominee can be, and some liberals even argue that he's actually amenable to their arguments. This is why Democrats have GOT to pick better officials and candidates, because the snakes will bite you when you turn around, anyway.

  33. valthemus

    By the holy word of the Church of the Divine Vin Diesel, I command whatever foul demon has possessed Brother Darrell to make him such a total fucking asshole to leave his body at once!


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