RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  12:00 pm June 20, 2012

The GOP Is Throwing Sticks and Stones At The President

by Sulagna Misra

You're hurting the president's feelings!Make beautiful music with today’s news! Or steal it, you jerky jerkface.
  • The GOP is encouraging people to hurl “vulgarities” at the President. We at Wonkette know none of you commenters would stoop that low! You’re all a bunch of saints, really. [Washington Post]
  • Mitt Romney should use his Mormonism as a selling point. Well, of course–he could play oppression Olympics! And who is more oppressed than the Mormons? Oh, what? Oh, everyone. [Slate]
  • How do you figure into the meritocracy, where credentials are taking over? Here’s a study on how pilots make everyone else look bad. Personally, I judge everyone based on whether they will be useful in a zombie apocalypse. Remember the first rule of survival: cardio! Because if you can’t outrun them, they will eat you. [The Atlantic]
  • Here’s an article about the current debate of stealing music. Okay, so they talk about struggling artists and how you shouldn’t steal from them, but what about Beyonce? And J.Lo? And One Direction?! Just wondering. [Salon]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 58 comments }

Estproph June 20, 2012 at 12:03 pm

"Vulgarities"? I thought the repubs were at war with them and want to take their rights away.

YasserArraFeck June 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm

No, that would be "Vulginas".

Mittens Howell, III June 20, 2012 at 12:04 pm

"Beep your horns at him! No. I mean, swear at him! "

Really Mitt? Can we just have one fucking flip-flop free zone.

athenaprime June 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Sheesh! Ol' Mittens has more flip-flops than the lost and found bin at Rehoboth Beach!

BoatOfVelociraptors June 20, 2012 at 12:04 pm

I have a priesthood in the Oppression Olympics.

Chill_Bill June 20, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But Mitt will still lose in November.

Maman June 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm

The problem with stories of Mormon oppression are the stories about Mormons settling scores.

GemlikeFlame June 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I'm sure the Mountain Meadows incident was just a bunch of schoolboy high spirits.

iburl June 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

and I'm sure that Mitt's economic policies are as real as the angel Moroni.

Oblios_Cap June 20, 2012 at 12:40 pm

It's easy to hate people that come to your house, uninvited, wasting your perfectly good fapping time, to preach nonsense to you.

Maman June 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I just object to them calling themselves "elder" when they are 12.

GemlikeFlame June 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

It gets worse. Much worse. In the Sacramento area, the LDS are up to noble social causes like funding Prop 8, the so-called California Marriage Protection Act. To boot, they seem to be very actively recruiting black folk, who are apparently unaware that until 1978 black men could not be ordained, and both men and women could not take part in the endowment or sealings and ordinances which are necessary for the highest level of salvation., The church founder's attitudes were unabashedly racist, and Utah was the only western state in 1850 to permit slavery. Fine, upstanding folk who poured millions of dollars into a regressive piece of legislation that took more millions to overturn, money that could have been used to provide daycare and public health services.

HoytClagwell June 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Not true. Mitt's economic policies are all too real (or will be, should he somehow get elected President). What's imaginary is the idea of said policies benefiting anyone besides the 0.1%.

Mittens Howell, III June 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Because throwing ideas is haaard.

HempDogbane June 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm

"There's no room for bluegrass in vulgarities." Steve Earle

freakishlywrong June 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Mittens. Fuck that twatwaffling bully. (How's that?)

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 20, 2012 at 12:09 pm

"The GOP is encouraging people to hurl “vulgarities” at the President."

Maybe you haven't noticed, but he's black so it's okay.

freakishlywrong June 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Also, it's hard to respond until Lanny Davis and Michale Steele weigh in, on you know, "civility".

Serolf_Divad June 20, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Mitt Romney should use his Mormonism as a selling point.

My I suggest a new campaign slogan? "Affirmative Action For Mormons, NOW!"

Would go over reaaaaaally well, I suspect.

SorosBot June 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

At least Romney hasn't attacked any Obama staffers and forcibly cut off their hair – yet.

SexySmurf June 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

The GOP is encouraging people to hurl “vulgarities” at the President.

Ladies–you heard the GOP–hurl your vaginas at Obama.

Lascauxcaveman June 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Name calling: It works so well in 4th grade politics, so why not national politics?

I guess when you're running a RmoneyBot vs. an actual, respected and well-liked human being, you try everything.

Schmannnity June 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

And if throwing vulgarities doesn't work, toss dwarves.

MosesInvests June 20, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Nobody tosses a Dwarf!

Mittens Howell, III June 20, 2012 at 12:14 pm

That pilot post is really long, but from the great pic I gather that Nancy-Bird Walton has been named the nation's bravest and most manly pilot.

We salute you, Nancy-Bird!

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Is "Vulgarities" a new term for Negros?

ThundercatHo June 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

My favorite rule is "Double tap" and we should add "Don't shoot Bill Fuckin' Murray".

calliecallie June 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

A shot-up outhouse as the Obama Presidential Library…what next? A burning cross on the White House lawn? Jeebus.

freakishlywrong June 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Joey Scar and his legions of VSMs, (Very Serious Moderates), have been hand-wringing about this for a week. (They haven't mentioned it)

Guppy June 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

The George W. Bush Memorial Sewage Plant.

Generation[redacted] June 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Boy, that was a misguided effort at insult. Thank dog it was voted down.

bobbert June 20, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Yeah, it woulda been funny for a bit, but then would be used by the wingers as concrete justification for things like this here outhouse.

EatsBabyDingos June 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Slightly o/t, but I am going to a party Saturday thrown by by Koch Industries douce-pal, and a "James O'Keefe" has rsvp'd. Is "sauteed rat dick in pesto" appropriate, or a waste of good pesto?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Just bring along a bottle of Blair's Sudden Death, hang out in the kitchen, and spice up everything within reach.

Spurning Beer June 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I'd say it's a waste of perfectly good rat dick.

elviouslyqueer June 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Drano in a vodka bottle is never a bad hostess gift. So refreshing!

Generation[redacted] June 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Don't forget your hidden camera and bring back lots of [heavily edited] video.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Vulgarians at the (White House) Gate.

SexySmurf June 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Okay, so they talk about struggling artists and how you shouldn’t steal from them, but what about Beyonce? And J.Lo? And One Direction?!

I wish someone would steal their lack of musical talent.

Chet Kincaid June 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Dana Milbank is lecturing about Civility? He must be drinking that "Mad Bitch" beer on the job again:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/31/dana-mil

bobbert June 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Because I'm stalling on going out to do yard work, I actually read Dana's column. It starts out warm, but rapidly becomes tepid. Surprisingly, he does not say "but both sides do it".

But the whole thing just runs down. At the end, he says that Bow-Tie Boy should fire Munro, but it's a throwaway line, since he knows it ain't gonna happen.

mavenmaven June 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Mormon downloaders hurling vulgar zombies on the white house lawn?

SayItWithWookies June 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

That Slate article completely missed the mark. First of all, the more people find out how intensely Mitt subscribes to the tenets of his religion and how much it affects his decision-making, the less I think they'll be enamored of him.

Second, there's this little doozy: "Mitt Romney has no interest in being an ambassador for the Mormon church any more than Barack Obama wanted to have a protracted conversation about race in 2008."

Hmmm — I seem to recall candidate Obama giving a rather deep, thoughtful and compassionate speech about race when he ran in 2008 — maybe he didn't want to have the conversation, but maybe that's just because he hoped we as a society were over it. Nevertheless, when the subject wouldn't go away, he weighed in and continued to discuss it in press conferences and interviews. Mitt, on the other hand, wants anything unpleasant or that doesn't reflect favorably on him to go away — just like all of these things, for instance.

Remember Scott Walker talking about disenfranchising union workers when he campaigned for governor? Or Dubya talking about his ambition to invade Iraq when he campaigned? No? It's telling what they won't discuss.

Callyson June 20, 2012 at 12:38 pm

"That’s why my confidence in Tucker Carlson has dropped. I’ve liked him for years, even forgiving him his brief moment on “Dancing With the Stars.” I have been impressed by his launch of the Daily Caller, a Web site with first-rate talent such as Matt Lewis. But now Carlson is turning the Daily Caller into the Daily Heckler."

Really, Dana Milbank? Because I missed that moment when anyone *should* have liked
Fucker Snarlson…

phlox✔ June 20, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I've never been to Vulgaria, but I hear the climate is pleasant and so are the Vulgarians.

Limeylizzie June 20, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Is that the face Barry pulls when FLOTUS is too busy in the garden to tend to his man needs?

Antispandex June 20, 2012 at 12:55 pm

" Mitt Romney should use his Mormonism as a selling point. "

Like, the Mountain Meadows Massacre?…..too soon?

Slim_Pickins June 20, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Zombie apocalypse? I'm waiting for the real heavyweight bout, Occupy Wall Street vs. Occupy Iran, Egypt, Syria, Libya, Tunisia, Iraq, Afghanistan, et. al.

owhatever June 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

You have to be vulgar in a polite way. Governor Romney, should the federal government allow a young woman to tattoo a target around her vagina? How about an arrow? Governor Romney, does your wife wear boxers or briefs? Governor Romney, can I still get free blowjobs from nurses if you roll back Obamacare?

Sorry, I thought you were finished with your remarks.

Generation[redacted] June 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

A very thoughtful and insightful analysis, however allow me to present an opposing view HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK YOU LIE!

BarackMyWorld June 20, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Whoever wrote the "Where is Mitt Romney’s Faith?" article needs to find a new career. That shit was idiotic.

proudgrampa June 20, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Bonfire of the Vulgarities.

fuflans June 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

god we really are in 'fall of the roman empire' times aren't we?

tho i have to say, baggers are a pretty sorry substitute for goths.

ttommyunger June 20, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Must be a fit crowd if they're going to throw Bill Orally, Sean Insannity and Rush Limpbaugh at the Prez.

glamourdammerung June 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

What meritocracy? While I know a lot of folks like to imagine there such a thing in practice here, our race to the bottom defeats any such long term planning. Besides, more qualified folks do not tend to stick around long if one does manage to get them in the first place for the low wages they are trying to pay people.

deanbooth June 20, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Whether you can outrun the zombie hoard depends on how long they spend devouring individual bodies. Given the obesity thing, this time has gone up considerably.

HarryButtle June 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I don't need to be able to outrun the zombies, I just need to be able to outrun a Hoveround or two.

Generation[redacted] June 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I also don't like being sacrificed to He Who Walks Between the Rows, especially by 12 year olds calling themselves elder.

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