criminals

Romney Campaign Finds New Goon To Love

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Would you buy a used car from this man?News that the Romney campaign has taken on top gun “electoral strategist” Nathan Sproul gets unsurprisingly little attention. Distinguishing this Sproul from other vague shapes now buzzing the Citizen’s United honeywagon are long-buried reports of behavior that gives oppressive right-wing polluter-friendly theocracy a bad name.

Lone, widely spaced APBs lean heavily on words like “goon,” “dirty trickster,” “brass knuckle tactics,” and “Teflon-style staying power” to describe Mr. Sproul and his contributions to 21st century democracy. This year, the good news for Sproul is that persistent allegations of massive “voter registration fraud” — as recounted by Sam Stein in this 2008 HuffPo expose -– are wingnut media’s wet dream of how Democrats get into office, so expect to hear little out of our brave liberal press about this veteran fixer in the months ahead.

Sproul’s labors across several states on behalf of the G.O.P. are said to have included throwing away registration forms, altering election documents and firing workers who registered Democrats. The Dubya-era Justice Department passed on investigating Sproul, whose Lincoln Strategy Group went on to cuddle up to Big Coal. Democrats, even heavyweights like Ted Kennedy and John Conyers, complained early and often, but few in the media listened and none remembered once James O’Keefe concocted the ACORN scandal.

So, who is this shadowy Sproul? Well, if an orphaned Wikipedia page may be trusted, a “typical Mayberry Machiavelli” would be close enough. Graduate of Pillsbury College and the University of Phoenix, he served as the executive director of the Arizona Republican Party and chief of that benighted state’s Christian Coalition. He holds forth here, chiding Democrats and boosting wingnuts in buttery Chamber of Commerce tones. Colson, Liddy, Mitchell, all the boys in Nixon’s bag, were Mad Men era tough guys alongside a concern-junkie like Sproul, who doubtless would’ve wracked Tricky Dick’s nerves with all his talk of a War on Christmas.

Indeed, some Republicans are uneasy with Sproul, perhaps understanding in their very dim way that the party’s persistent need for such operators doesn’t say much for the vaunted superiority of conservative “ideas” in a supposedly free marketplace. Former Rep. Chris Cannon (R-UT) noted “the difference between ACORN and Sproul is that ACORN doesn’t throw away or change registration documents after they have been filled out.” The reported $71,391 forked over by Romney is small change compared to $8.5 million Sproul & Associates reportedly got out of the Bush-era G.O.P. As early as 2004, Salon.com’s Farhad Majoo asked “Doesn’t the Republican Party fear being associated so closely with a man, and a firm, whose record is less than fully aboveboard?”

Fade in eight years later and news Republicans in the far West actually have a touring shithouse makes rather too much sense.

Comments

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  • chascates

    Wow, is he part of the Chicago mob?

    • Beowoof

      I think in Chicago or any other place where the mob has operations a guy such as this would have a very tough time. He might even run into some unfortunate life altering wise guys with an attitude.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      All Capoon?

  • Lucidamente1

    Listen, Ron Garmon, you come between a Republican candidate and his ratfucker, and the terrorists have won.

  • coolhandnuke

    Would someone please kidnap this Nathan Arizona.

    • nounverb911

      I thought his first name was "Unpainted"?

    • ttommyunger

      He's obviously not "the best one of the bunch".

    • Callyson

      There's what's right and there's what's right and never the twain shall meet.

  • YouBetcha

    University of Phoenix? Two bit diploma mill. If you want real talent, you have to go to Liberty U. Also, this guy has moderately more sex appeal than Karl Rove, so therefore, also too, sure why not?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    this is what democracy crooks like!

  • BornInATrailer

    Pillsbury College? Of course he's manipulating the rolls! lolbakedgoodsjoke

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Home of the Fighting Dough-boys!

      • coolhandnuke

        The Beasts of the Yeast.

        • nounverb911

          The Fighting Yeast Infections?

    • elviouslyqueer
  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    “the difference between ACORN and Sproul is that ACORN doesn’t throw away or change registration documents after they have been filled out.”

    Leave it to the liberal press to get upset before all the facts are swept under the rug.

  • Come here a minute

    Graduate of Pillsbury College

    Lemme guess — the Fightin' Doughboys?

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Wow, that was close.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      The Fighting Yeast Infections

  • OzoneTom

    I can't wait for this to blow up in Gov. Romney's face.

    • http://myreadyroom.wordpress.com Ben Cisco

      Like a badly-mixed cake in a Three Stooges or Our Gang short.

      "Weep-Woowwwww!"

    • DangerHelvetica

      Prescient!

  • Extemporanus

    Rocky!

  • ThundercatHo

    I'm sure he'll be a valuable asset to the sterling team of RmoneyCo.

  • SorosBot

    “Doesn’t the Republican Party fear being associated so closely with a man, and a firm, whose record is less than fully aboveboard?”

    No. This is the party of W., Karl Rove and Nixon, remember.

  • Pragmatist2

    But, you see, there is a two big differences between voter fraud allegations involving Republicans and those involving Democrats: The Republicans are White and they actually did commit voter fraud.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    You know who else was described as a “typical Mayberry Machiavelli”?

    • Baconzgood

      Barney Fife?

    • James Michael Curley

      Piero the Unfortunate?

    • CapnRadio

      Floyd the Prince?

  • Dildeaux

    If it werent for Obama creating such a toxic atmosphere, guys like Sproul wouldnt need to exist.

  • MissTaken

    That face might be proof that evolution does not exist.

  • LastGasp

    Graduate of the University of Phoenix; chief of Arizona's Christian Coalition.

    Say no more — he got his diploma from a degree mill and he's a religious blowhard. Those aren't exactly sterling credentials.

    • bureaucrap

      Wait, does that mean you can get a better degree in "voter fraud" at Harvard, now? Perhaps that's where mittens got his.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This year, the good news for Sproul is that persistent allegations of massive “voter registration fraud”

    Silly Wonkette, read the WSJ or any Conservative web site. Only Democrats commit voter fraud. And that is mostly done by black , brown and/or poor Democrats. Rich White People are job creators and the center of our Democracy.

    Sheesh.

    • bureaucrap

      Exactly. No "qualified" voter would ever vote Democrat in the first place, so you're just doing the system a favor by throwing out their registrations now.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Ugh. That guys smile makes my skin crawl.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Nothing like a candidate without a moral center surrounding himself with criminals and sociopaths!

  • southernbeale

    IIRC Sproul used to be head of the Arizona Christian Coalition. Which is just so perfect. OF COURSE he was. Never saw a bigger bunch of sleazebags, cheats and liars in my life.

  • mavenmaven

    Nixon-ostalgia!

  • Billmatic

    Wow I thought that University of Phoenix MBAs were a punchline and didn't actually exist.

  • CapnRadio

    ACORN? Why that's a voter registration dust-up of a different color.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    He looks like an Acura salesman.

    • SorosBot

      He's even more like Joe Isuzu.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Is that Lenny or Squiggy?

    • BornInATrailer

      And I'm beaten to the Lenny reference.

  • Baconzgood

    Where's the voter fraud screeching now?

  • BornInATrailer

    If a young Michael McKean had sold his soul, that is what he'd look like.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Didn't I see this guy in a commercial? I think he was talking about how he got his masters degree in election fraud while keeping his day job as an aging rentboy. He's a "phoenix!"

  • TootsStansbury

    Nightmare material there. What happens if these people actually prevail?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wow, that upstanding young Mormon fella sure as shit knows a lot of sleazy bastards.

  • rickmaci

    "A prince being thus obliged to know well how to act as a beast must imitate the fox and the lion, for the lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves." Nicolo Machiavelli

    This re-election will depend entirely on whether BHO has an inner lion. After three years, I would say not but there may be something there we have not seen. A lion would have this guy under a full press investigation by the Justice Department, not be struggling to have his Attorney General fend off some pip squeak wingtard congressman.

    • bureaucrap

      Also, a propos of Sproul, he is intent on acting like a rat — a spreader of disease and pestilence.

  • ttommyunger

    Nathan? Really? How prescient of his parents to name him after a snack food made of lips, taint and assholes.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Alt Aly Text "Would you run over this man in a used* car?"

    *Ah, fuckit – in any car

  • owhatever

    Abraham Lincoln, vampire killer, is looking for this guy.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    "the difference between ACORN and Sproul is that ACORN doesn’t throw away or change registration documents after they have been filled out."

    No, the difference is: ACORN = uppity blahs; Sproul=upstanding white Christian

  • TribecaMike

    The Romney campaign is in grave danger of becoming too ethnically diverse.

    • arihaya

      why yes,, Human, Ferengis, Hutts, Vogons… Mittens campaign is very differse indeed

  • GemlikeFlame

    Karl Rove Lite.

  • CBeat2Citibank

    O man RG in the house!!!
    I thought that constant pinging outside my bedroom door last night were your brainwaves garmonizing even though you're 5,000 miles away…
    step it up