Is everyone tired of talking about Michigan and vaginas and vaginas in Michigan? No, apparently not, because state Rep. Wayne Schmidt (R – Qom Traverse City) wants you to know the state House didn’t muzzle Lisa Brown for saying vagina. Why, Wayne Schmidt has no problem with the word vagina. He even said it on the radio to Lansing morning host Michael Patrick Shiels! So brave. What Wayne Schmidt does have a problem with is Lisa Brown saying “no means no” because that’s really offensive. So she was put in a time out. Like a four-year-old. His words. [YouTube]

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  • freakishlywrong

    And vagina means vagina. And you're a dickhead.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    'No' means 'no sammiches'!!!

  • Lisa Brown needed a timeout because women are really just oversized children.

    • scvirginia

      With vaginas. Hello!?

    • CthuNHu

      She just needed a shower.

      • A golden one obvs.

  • Antispandex

    Well…who can really say what "no" means? I mean if you say "no" one listens to this douche, do you literally mean NO one listens to him? See? It's not as easy as it seems.

  • Crank_Tango

    OK dickless, what DOES no mean then?

    • MissTaken

      No means Ho?

      • Fare la Volpe

        Bros before Noes

    • Baconzgood

      Anal. No means Anal.

      • BornInATrailer

        No. That is what yes means.

        But I guess no means yes, and yes means anal, so the the transitive property of buttsechs means you are correct after all.

    • Guppy

      It means you need a stronger roofie.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      No means "hold me down and have your way with me, you handsome brute"

  • Dildeaux

    We need clarity on this issue. Cue up The Nuge in 3..2..1…

  • Callyson

    What Wayne Schmidt does have a problem with is Lisa Brown saying “no means no” because that’s really offensive.

    Yeah, how dare that uppity bitch assert control over her body. Who does she think she is, a person or something?


    • Boojum

      Seriously. Do you see articles of incorporation anywhere? I thought not.

    • SorosBot

      Silly women, thinking they're real people with rights!

      • Fare la Volpe

        This is why we must not pass the 19th Amendment — women will just get flustered and vote for silly things like shoes or baby clothes.

    • freakishlywrong

      Women aren't people too, my friend.

    • GhostBuggy

      The best part of all this is, they think this is helping.

  • No… Don't…. Stop…

  • SorosBot

    Yeah, it was just so offensive for Rep. Brown to point out how disgusting and offensive the anti-choicers' policies are!

  • Baconzgood

    Why would you put someone in time out over no means no? They fucking rock!

  • Trannysurprise

    Apparently she can say vagina all she wants, but they draw the line at telling white men no.

  • ThundercatHo

    I sure hope at least one of Wayne's date rape victims comes forward.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      You mean "anyone"?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Wayne follows the Biblical form of marriage: he has the decency to marry all his rape victims.

  • sullivanst

    I think it's time to put Michigan on a timeout.

    • GhostBuggy

      That's what we get for not keeping our filthy mitten off the U.P. Look at it, always grasping at the thing!

    • miss_grundy

      I, unfortunately, live here and I wish someone would nuke Lansing when both houses of the legislature are in session, so we can kill all of these asshats. I am so fed up with these fucking douchebag hillbillies.

      • Negropolis

        Nuke and kill them with votes, of course.

  • edgydrifter

    Wayne Schmidt doesn't "rape" women, he does them a favor.
    Ungrateful whores.

  • Ding ding ding! Real life Blazing Saddles just cast a minor role…

    Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
    Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
    Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
    Applicant: I like rape.

    • Mrugby08


  • littlebigdaddy

    And nun means none, not even one bit.

  • dijetlo

    We got Vaginas with a capital "V,"
    And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pootang!
    And all week long your Traverse City
    Youth'll be frittern away,
    I say your young men'll be frittern!
    Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
    Get the cock in the pocket,
    Never mind gittin' Dandelions pulled
    Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
    (Well, there'll likely be some beefsteak pounded)
    Never mind pumpin' any water
    'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern empty
    On a Saturday night and that's trouble,
    Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.
    I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers,
    Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' at the pootang
    Outhouse window after school, look, folks!
    Right here in Traverse City.
    Trouble with a capital "T"
    And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pootang!

  • Lucidamente1

    "I mean, when I cruise men's rooms, 'no' is often the first thing I hear. But it really means 'maybe,' and 'maybe' means 'yes,' so there you go."

  • Dear Rep. Schmidt:

    "Fuck you" means "fuck you." Preferably, in your case, with a rusty chainsaw.

    …and I mean that, of course, in the nicest, most aspirational and nonthreatening way.

    • sullivanst

      A rusty chainsaw of votes, of course.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    "Yeah, shut up, woman… or I'll put you in time-out for having an opinion."

    • Antispandex

      Well…you know…time out really isn't so bad when you concider where the christian Taliban could be going with this whole "return to morality" thing.

  • coolhandnuke

    After putting all those radical feminists in the time out zone, Rep. Schmidthead would move to put them in the penalty box….or penalize their boxes.

  • Boojum

    "No" is just another word for nothing left to lose.

  • We're obviously watching psycosis being filmed.

  • Shypixel

    What? No transcript? No way in hell I'm watching a wingnut youTube video… I already showered once today.

  • i_AM_ready

    Slightly off-topic, but who names their kids "Wayne"? Is it me, or does "Wayne" equal "Born in a Double-Wide"?

    • Baconzgood

      I knew a Wayne and you sir hit the nail squarely on the head.

      • NellCote71

        I think it has to a double name to truly qualify: Bobby Wayne, Earl Wayne, Darrell Wayne, for instance.

    • OkieDokieDog


      or is it JOHN WAYNE GACY? Only One L Michele knows for sure.

    • MissTaken

      I dated a Wayne, and yes, you are correct.

    • ThundercatHo

      Not as much as Dwayne and ditto for Earl, Bubba, Jr. or Randy. Also, you left out "meth lab".

      • SorosBot

        Does anyone actually name their kids Earl or Bubba? Maybe I should feel fortunate that I've never met anyone with those names.

        • scvirginia

          The Earl's I've known were black men who commanded respect. I don't know anyone named Bubba.

        • ThundercatHo

          My teenage son is a fan of various hillbilly shows and he shares the funniest parts with me. Apparently, there are also men named Squirrel, Cooter and Gator who are featured in reality shows involving the molestation of wildlife.

        • MissTaken

          My cousin's husband's little brother is a Bubba. Seriously.

          • Even more amazing is that you know the name of your cousin's husband's little brother.

        • bobbert

          I had an Uncle Earl. He basically made his living playing trumpet in strip club bands in Louisville for forty years. He was a pretty nice guy.

        • I have twin cousins named Earl…and…wait for it…Chearl.
          Yep, Chearl, (rhymes with Earl), is a girl.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Because naming her Pearl would just sound weird.

        • No, but surely Bristol's next will be named Meth Lab Palin.

      • SorosBot

        But then, Dwayne Wayne was a black nerd – maybe both names cancel each other out?

    • coolhandnuke

      Not to ever be confused with "Wayne Manor."

    • Tundra Grifter

      Wasn't Wayne the jerk brother in The Wonder Years?

    • viennawoods13

      I know a Wayne, and he is in fact a very non-hillbilly man. In actual fact, his parents named him Dwayne, 60-odd years ago, but can you blame a guy for modifying it?

    • Unless your other car is the Batmobile, Wayne is not a cool given name or family name.

    • AncienReggie

      I read an interesting story about 20 years ago (seriously) that listed a remarkable number of serial killers with Wayne as their middle name. John Wayn Gayce, of course, Dean Wayne Correl, and … I mean, like, 8 or 9 others.

  • SexySmurf

    Once again you libtards got it all wrong. Lisa Brown was talking about Noh Means Noh, Flint's most popular traditional Japanese theater ensemble. Wayne Schmidt was upset because he is really passionate ablout Kabuki.

    • Chichikovovich

      What part of Noh doesn't Wayne Schmidt understand?

      • bobbert

        All of

        No, I still can't do it.

    • bonghitforjesus

      I like Noh theater better than I like Kabuki theater..

    • Negropolis

      Nah, I think he's really passionate about Bukakke…

  • Not_So_Much

    And, clearly, Wayne Schmidt knows a little something about being childish.

    • TacoMonger

      He's also (apparently) heard no means no a lot. *That's* what's really bothering him.

  • UnholyMoses

    If there was anything remotely resembling cosmic justice, Rep. Schmidt's would hear the word "No!" when has asks a woman (or, hell, even a man) for the sexyfuntime. Starting now and lasting until eternity.

    But, sadly, there's not.

    (If there were, I'd have won Powerball by now.)

    • GOP, therefore not likely to ask a woman.

  • mavenmaven

    Because NO means YES and YES means…

    • TribecaMike


  • IonaTrailer

    Traverse City,….home of the Petosky stone. A group of fossilized barnacles, or as some call it "The GOP".

  • Baconzgood

    Patrick Shiels? I'll say. He shills for the GOP all right.

    • Negropolis

      Did you hear the end of the video?

  • niblick77

    You do not tell a repug man NO. That is a slap in the face to a provider and protector of helpless women. So, when it come time to him getting himself some as a reward you women better not be saying NO. Just grin and bare it. Yes, I typed bare it………get it?

  • MacRaith

    You know, I'd be less annoyed at this pathetic bigot if he was at least honest about his misogyny. If he'd just come right out and admit that he doesn't like outspoken women, he'd still be a reprehensible bastard, but at least he wouldn't be a lying reprehensible bastard.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Is Wonkette now the ESVN of the intertubes? All Vaginas all the Time?

    • ThundercatHo

      Until someone famous tweets a dick pic then it'll be one long, engorged, throbbing penis after another.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        That does remind me that I should have proofread my post. I neglected to insert my semicolon in the second sentence.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Don't worry if the sentence says no. Just insert your semicolon anyway.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog


  • poorgradstudent

    Wayne Schmidt: "Why do 'feminazis impose such a negative word like rape on us, anyway? Why not use a more neutral term like 'surprise sex'?"

    • TacoMonger

      Well, when you put it *that* way…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Wayne Schmidt doesn't like hearing "no means no" because it reminds him of all the time he spent in highschool, masturbating and crying in the boys room while all the other boys were getting BJ's from the popular girls.

  • Chichikovovich

    Aaaaand of course Schmidt is full of crap. What the speaker actually said when silencing her and what state legislators said immediately afterwards when trying to explain the speakers' actions – all of which is a matter of the public record, not to mention on tape – make it clear that the reason was the use of the word "vagina".

    Though slow on the uptake, the Michigan Repubs finally clued in to how that revealed them to be at once prigs, morons and antidemocratic bullies, and so they started frantically thrashing to spin out. Accepted story from Repub message central appears to be that the "no means no" comment was an accusation of rape.


  • Limeylizzie

    I would never let a man who spoke with that accent anywhere near my vagina.

    • That's why you had to leave the Midwest?

      • Limeylizzie

        I love a good Chicago accent baby, you know that.

  • Another Schmidt-faced Rethuglican.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The GOP is just being consistent. They need to breed more little Conservatives, but since Conservatism is the ultimate cock block, they need to get rid of these little trivialities like rape laws.

  • YouBetcha


  • TribecaMike

    In the immortal words of Joe Ely, "Musta notta gotta lotta."

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    If women would just accept the role that god gave us (non-thinking penis receptacle) then rape would cease to exist and LOWER TAXES!!!

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Would this also help the job creators?

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Did you not read the LOWER TAXES! Also, it will be good for whatever vile corporation owns Babys R US. (also known as hell on earth)

      • viennawoods13

        Would it not create blow jobs, and lots of them?

  • ChrisM2011

    It's amazing how Republicans can make even John Edwards seem less sleazy….

  • If you can't mention it in the Legislature, you can't legislate about it, either. Problem solved.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Doesn't Michael Moore have a Summer film festival in or near Traverse City?

    This area (along M-22) is one of the most beautiful places in the US.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Gator Infested Bayou Libel!!!!!!!

    • TheInternet

      Yes. He sort of lives around here? And he's done a lot to improve the city – not just the Film Festival, but also getting the shuttered downtown theater re-opened as a second run/arthouse cinema.

      That radio talk happened about a mile down the road. TC is a strange place – it's an odd mix of bohemian, blue collar, midwestern, artistic, progressive, dirtbag, resort community. But all of it very genteel. Schmidt isn't representative of the area at all, but like every other lunatic in the MI leg, he's representing it now because the only – ONLY – people who turned out in 2010 were the hardest-core tea partiers. They completely took over the state top to bottom and are making the most of it while they've got it. It's actually kind of terrifying living here right now.

    • AncienReggie

      Much of Arizona is really, really beautiful. Doesn't seem to improve the governance any.

      • Tundra Grifter

        I love the desert! Death Valley is spectactular.

        But Northern Michigan around Traverse is God's Country. And I mean that in a nice way.

  • ttommyunger

    Have politicians always been so fucking stupid or is there something in the groundwater?

    • Fare la Volpe

      In the 1850s half of them seceded from the Union just so they could exercise their God-Given Right to own people as cattle.

      The stupid has always been strong with the politicians.

      • ttommyunger

        As l age l become increasingly ashamed of my species.Sent from my iPhone

  • Arken

    There's a lot of people in Arizona who are big fans of Michigan right now.

  • dogscantlookup

    Women of America, come home and bring your guns.

  • PuckStopsHere

    I wish people would give people like Mr. Schmidt a bit of a break here. It's natural to be a little bit uneasy–frightened, even–about something you have never seen.

  • Just fuck this guy. Both these guys.

  • bobbert

    What a piece of Schmidt.

  • Any person, male or female, who ever, ever willingly has sex with this idiot should be ejected from the human race.

  • Buckminster

    No means frickin' no, you moron. Do you want to argue? Meet Mr. Colt.

  • Negropolis

    Watching their moving target excuses the pass few days has been tiring. They so totally lost control of the narrative. Too bad it came so early in the summer, but hopefully, folks don't forget this craziness.

    Hey Michigan Democrats, elections have consequences. You helped let these fucking crazies get into office. There is no excuse why mild-mannered, if even conservative, Traverse City should have a representative like Schmitt, there is no excuse. This is not Livingston County; this is upscale Cherry Capital of the World.

    BTW, Jeff, can we get some non-Michigan related news? Crazy shit is happening in other states, too, and at an even greater clip, in fact.

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