GONE TIL NOVEMBER  6:04 pm June 19, 2012

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell Perhaps Not Totally Upbeat About Romney Victory In November

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Mitch McConnellReally who even cares what dozy question Senate Minority Leader and King of All He Surveys Mitch McConnell was responding to when he said the following about Republican nominee and His Lord High Hairgel Mitt Romney:

“He is the leader of our party from now until November,” McConnell said, explaining why he didn’t want to comment on the matter.

The End. [RollCall]

 

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{ 136 comments }

ratcityrebel June 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

"He is the leader of our party from now until November, and then it goes back to being that Reagan handpuppet we keep in the cloakroom."

athenaprime June 19, 2012 at 8:38 pm

He did say his party's only goal was making Obama a one-term president. Win, lose, or draw, after that, they have nothing to live for and will vanish up their own arses with a slightly flatulent pop.

bikerlaureate June 19, 2012 at 10:39 pm

"The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term President."

- Sen. McConnell, 23-Oct-2010

It must suck to see that most important thing elude their sticky grasp, going the way of their laser-like focus on job creation these past two years.

Negropolis June 19, 2012 at 11:51 pm

If only.

TribecaMike June 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I'd forgotten Yertle was so enamored of other turtles' farts.

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 8:39 pm

That's not Yertle! Yertle was the bottom Turtle. That's the king turtle, a plutocrat who is seen there smelling the farts of his second-in-command. Yertle was a socialist who railed against social inequality and was never pictured smelling farts.

gullywompr June 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

And after Novermber, on the off chance that he wins, he's our autopen bitch.

Lucidamente1 June 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go obstruct some legislation that could keep the economy from tanking.

Negropolis June 19, 2012 at 11:52 pm

WIN

It's funny (and sad) 'cause it's true.

OkieDokieDog June 19, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Was this before or after the MSM moistened their panties about the vetting of RUBIO?

Designer_Radio June 19, 2012 at 7:30 pm

I said it before, but I can't wait until the MSM starts going through Rubio's past like a rock fiend through a crackhouse carpet. It's gonna be just as ugly to watch, and yet so beautiful.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 7:56 pm

RMONEY's people confirmed to the Waah!Poo today that they are NOT vetting Rubio. Rubio's people are having a hissy fit. So, burned bridges and what-all.

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Yes but then Rmoney unconfirmed it, as he is wont to do.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Wut? Already? Oh, man! Guy's gonna give himself whiplash in the worst way.

Negropolis June 19, 2012 at 11:53 pm

but I can't wait until the MSM starts going through Rubio's past like a rock fiend through a crackhouse carpet.

Good god that is so full of WIN.

coolhandnuke June 19, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I think Mitch stuck his neck out on this one.
Nah…he has no neck.

smokefilledroommate June 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Don't you mean 'Turtle Waxed'?

Joshua Norton June 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm

It's like their national leader is Eddie Haskell.

chascates June 19, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Hey, Eddie had a hell of a lot more personality than Romney!

Schmannnity June 19, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Gee, Mrs. Romney, that's a lovely dress you're wearing today.

flamingpdog June 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Mitt, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Mitt is never hard on the Beaver. Or its owner wouldn't stick both feet in her mouth so often.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

He's not?

Spurning Beer June 19, 2012 at 7:28 pm

I met the guy who played Eddie Haskell a couple of decades ago at a home show. He was a really friendly guy. Jerry Mathers was with him, and was a bloated, morose sack of bitterness.

Chichikovovich June 19, 2012 at 7:42 pm

You mean he wasn't killed in Vietnam?

Spurning Beer June 19, 2012 at 8:03 pm

He was definitely moribund.

flamingpdog June 19, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Wasn't Eddie Haskell an LA cop for a while there?

Buckminster June 19, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Eddie Haskell had more moral fiber. Plus, more iron.

mwittier June 20, 2012 at 12:42 am

Lumpy Rutherford for VP.

chascates June 19, 2012 at 6:21 pm

"You don't go to election with the candidate you . . ."

Chet Kincaid June 19, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I thought he was dumb,
I said he was dumb,
Yet I've heard him cry.

First faint scream,
Out of life's unfathomable dawn,
Far off, so far, like a madness, under the horizon's dawning rim,
Far, far off, far scream.

Tortoise in extremis.

samsuncle June 19, 2012 at 6:24 pm

“He is the leader of our party from now until November and then it reverts back to Rush".

Designer_Radio June 19, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Slut!

Schmannnity June 19, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. If it weren't for Bourbon, Kentucky would have little to recommend it.

rickmaci June 19, 2012 at 6:28 pm

And if it weren't for the race horses, the genetics there would be close to Paleozoic.

valgal2342 June 19, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Well, so much for inviting you to my Derby Party. LOL

glasspusher June 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I'm pretty sure bourbon is the only way to tolerate them…

Maman June 19, 2012 at 6:39 pm

I don't know, I had some pretty tasty wine from Kentucky too.

valgal2342 June 19, 2012 at 6:51 pm

We make Louisville Sluggers too!

Schmannnity June 19, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I stand corrected. A Louisville Slugger was great in The Untouchables.

Steverino247 June 19, 2012 at 7:14 pm

And would be useful in the Republican Caucus meetings.

scvirginia June 19, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Is that how Ron Paul won Iowa this past weekend?

Steverino247 June 19, 2012 at 7:15 pm

There's the Patton Museum at Ft. Knox. Great stuff there.

TribecaMike June 19, 2012 at 8:12 pm

There is Loretta Lynn.

elviouslyqueer June 20, 2012 at 9:59 am
BlueStateLibel June 19, 2012 at 8:12 pm

There's always the beautiful horses and fast women.

Negropolis June 20, 2012 at 12:00 am

Yes, but do they have fast horses and beautiful women is what I want to know.

Butch_Wagstaff June 19, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I dunno. You used to be able to get some really good weed in KY. I recall that it was, at the time when I still smoked it, the number one cash crop in the state but that was almost twenty years ago.

EDIT: Still is, apparently. And it's the number one cash crop in America, over all. I did not know this.

kingofmeh June 19, 2012 at 11:09 pm

abraham lincoln libel!

Negropolis June 20, 2012 at 12:01 am

All the pretty horses libel!

HippieEsq June 19, 2012 at 6:24 pm

….also the leading cause of my weed smoking (vaporizing) until November.

(don't worry I'll find another excuse by Thanksgiving)

edgydrifter June 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm

McYertle gets terror sweats every night dreaming of what it might be like not having Balack HUSSEIN O'Blacka around to blame everything on constantly. I think his ambivalence towards a Romney victory is starting to leak out of his shell.

randcoolcatdaddy June 19, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Oh … so everyone in the party follows him off the cliff in November and you start all over again?

scvirginia June 19, 2012 at 7:44 pm

From your lips to FSM's ears.

LastGasp June 19, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Yeah, if I knew in my gut that all my hopes and dreams were going to be smashed in November I wouldn't want to "comment on the matter" either. [insert frowny face here]

Estproph June 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find some lettuce. Or perhaps an earthworm."

Biff June 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm

So then, it's still turtles all the way down?

Negropolis June 20, 2012 at 12:05 am

I also heard it as elephants, which seems just as relevant an example as any, these days.

BlueStateLibel June 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Wow McConnell, easy on the excitement there! Don't want want to get too excited about the thought of a Mittens' presidency.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 7:15 pm

The last time McConnell got excited, he leaked.

He's more careful these days.

weejee June 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Mitch Turtle passed his turtle exam (what doe a man do standing-up, that a woman does sitting down, and a dog do on three legs?) with an eloquent burp. We've been rolling in the mud ever since.

Madam Killjoy June 19, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Shake hands. (And yes, you bet your sweet ass I am.)

Veritas78 June 19, 2012 at 7:59 pm

This is a trick question, I am sure.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 19, 2012 at 6:39 pm

I'm surprised that McConnell was willing to commit to November.

flamingpdog June 19, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I'm hoping McConnell will finally be committed in November.

nounverb911 June 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Needs more turtle soup.

YouBetcha June 19, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I would not hit that.

Not even if it was lying on its shell in the middle of the road.

Veritas78 June 19, 2012 at 7:10 pm

What if it paid you $500 and you were on leave from Norfolk or the DC Marine Barracks, drunk and horny? Believe me, it's been done before, for 30 years. Oh, and his wife knows.

YouBetcha June 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

My rates are higher than that, particularly for reptiles.

Monsieur_Grumpe June 19, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I'm kind of hoping some video of Mitt doing Karaoke pops in the near future. Then, and only then, will Mitch get excited.

scvirginia June 19, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Is karaoke pop caffeinated? That WOULD be exciting…

valgal2342 June 19, 2012 at 6:46 pm

We're going to get rid of Mitch in 2014, I promise!

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 7:16 pm

From your lips to the obedient ears of any intelligence with the power to MAKE IT SO!

scvirginia June 19, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Are you gonna run for his seat? I'll come knock on doors for you!

fuflans June 19, 2012 at 9:06 pm

for realz? that would make up for a lot.

Negropolis June 20, 2012 at 12:10 am

With votes, of course!

valgal2342 June 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I would love to see a poll done in KY on Mitch's unfavorables right now. Word of mouth is everyone is getting pretty sick of Mitch and he's been there since the mid-late 70's. Dems have always hated him but now he's even embarrassing the Reps. It won't be easy of course but this will be the best chance we've had in over 2 decades. I'm pumped. We have a couple of good Dem candidate possibilities. If Crit Luallen runs, Mitch is toast. She was our State Auditor, did a terrific job and she is well liked across the board. I'm going for the twofer. 1-Defeat Mitch 2-Defeat him with a woman candidate. PS- She's not a blue dog.

Negropolis June 20, 2012 at 10:23 pm

How Mitch has hung around in a state like Kentucky has always surprised me. I totally got how Bunning got in there, but I didn't take KY to be such a corporate-whorish in its Republican Party. I thought it was far more populous. Mitch always reminded me of a politician that would do good in Georgia.

valgal2342 June 20, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Coal companies love to buy politicians and will pay handily for the powerful ones. They've got the dough to do it and have done it shamelessly since long before today's politicians were even born. You have a mix bag Dems – Reps elected through out the state but for those US Senate seats, the coal companies make sure they've got their man. It's tough to beat really.
I can't see Mitch doing well in GA at all. He's more of an elitist then a good ol boy.

valthemus June 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Yes, Mitch. It's him. Not you. Him. Never you, you silly turtle-man! NEVER YOU! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa!!

Jealous much?

Not_So_Much June 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I like Mitch's strong chin. One glance and you know he's a man of character.

Rotundo_ June 19, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Boy was that a ringing endorsement, chock full of enthusiasm and effervescent praise for his candidate. I have heard people more enthusiastic about a trip to the dentist.

mwittier June 20, 2012 at 12:44 am

In fairness, free toothbrush.

RayneMan June 20, 2012 at 1:12 am

Hygiene Welfare

MissTaken June 19, 2012 at 7:01 pm

McConnell said, explaining why he didn’t want to comment on the matter.

Come on Mitch, come out of your shell and tell us how you really feel.

calliecallie June 19, 2012 at 7:01 pm

What we need…is a turtle fence.

johnnyzhivago June 19, 2012 at 7:03 pm

No invitations to the Romney owned palatial vacation villas for this dope!

Antispandex June 19, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Yeah, I agree. No way he's getting to hang with Ann and play pony.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Judging from the lukewarm response RMONEY is getting overall, you'd almost think lots and lots of people don't WANT to be invited to the palatial vacation villas. Can't imagine why.

LetUsBray June 19, 2012 at 7:59 pm

The ride over in a cage in the roof of the car isn't as much fun as Willard claims it is.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Ha!

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Instead of purple heart band-aids, they're going to be wearing clothespins on their noses at this year's convention.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 8:25 pm

And now the frothing nutbags have begun frothing about the Latinos and the DREAM Act, and RMONEY is totally being boxed into a corner. It's gettin' ugly.

And there's months of this shit to go.

Antispandex June 19, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Wingnut translation provided by Antispandex:
"There's no way this guy will be running things after November, because the super religious wing of the party isn't going to elect a member of the Joe Smith cult".

RayneMan June 20, 2012 at 1:16 am

I don't know…

Blah or Crazy?….. Blah or Crazy?…..

Too bad they don't have video cameras in them there votin' booths. I'd love to watch the heads espload.

Steverino247 June 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I once attended a basketball game between BYU and UTEP. Fans actually displayed signs saying the following:

BYU Athletics: Blacks need not apply.

BYU Laboratories bring you "The Boys from Brazil."

And those are the signs they let in. Yeah, those guys are going to elect an LDS President of the United States. Sure they are…

elburritodeluxe June 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Leading from behind!

Steverino247 June 19, 2012 at 7:22 pm

OT, but it looks to be over, barring recounts. With about 1,000 absentee and provisional votes remaining…

SUPERIOR COURT – Office No. 34

GARY GEORGE KREEP 203302 50.19%

GARLAND PEED 201733 49.81%

A difference of 1,569 with about a thousand to go…

TribecaMike June 19, 2012 at 7:24 pm

San Diego is kreeping its pants.

Steverino247 June 19, 2012 at 7:28 pm

If Gov. Brown's plans don't get passed this November, we're going to close about 40% of the Court facilities statewide. He would be out of work as a judge and unable to get a civil trial within five years, too.

TribecaMike June 19, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Thanks for the info. I hope he gets paid by the hour.

Truantly_Joe June 19, 2012 at 7:29 pm

well, 50.19% of San Diego is going to be getting the judge they deserve, I suppose.

Steverino247 June 19, 2012 at 7:31 pm

That's what you get for tossing coins in the voting booth. Neither of these candidates were well known outside a small circle of friends and colleagues.

bobbert June 20, 2012 at 12:21 am

But still, when news articles say things like "Gary Kreep, a birther,…". I know San Diego County is pretty conseritave, but jeez.

MittBorg June 19, 2012 at 8:03 pm

It's over, dood. I'm so fucking depressed.

flamingpdog June 19, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said today he’s waiting for presumptive GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney to announce a position on whether he supports deporting young illegal immigrants who came to the United States as children.

Is he going to wait until the day after Mitt announces a position so he can assess the next day's different position?

Chet Kincaid June 19, 2012 at 7:30 pm

That's right up there with another unintentionally-revealing quote of the day that NBC left out of their infamous interview with Sandusky: "I didn’t go around seeking out every young person for sexual needs that I’ve helped. There are many that I didn’t have — I hardly had any contact with who I have helped in many, many ways.”
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/06/18/jerry-sandusk

Chichikovovich June 19, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Important lesson for all the young folks who may be reading. When your lawyers tell you that you should absolutely, positively, 100% not be interviewed on TV, you should listen to them.

Butch_Wagstaff June 19, 2012 at 8:44 pm

If his defense team decides that he should testify, it's gonna be a disaster for them. From day one, he should have kept his mouth shut because everything that's popped out of it so far has not helped him.

CthuNHu June 19, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Why, consider all the Norwegian children Anders Brevik didn't massacre!

Shouldn't he and Sandusky get medals or something? We could call it the Kissinger Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Humanitarianism.

Arken June 19, 2012 at 7:47 pm

McConnell isn't upbeat about anything ever. He talks like he's severely constipated.

iburl June 19, 2012 at 8:50 pm

He's not constipated, he's just a slow turtle.

flamingpdog June 19, 2012 at 7:56 pm

I'm not all that excited about the possibility of McConnell being upbeat. On the other hand, the possibility of him being beat up with votes is very appealing.

flamingpdog June 19, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Editrix, I think this would have been a more appropriate picture to go with your post.

Butch_Wagstaff June 19, 2012 at 8:36 pm

It's lacking the non-chin flab.

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 8:42 pm

To be fair, Mittens isn't thrilled about Mitch McTurtle's leadership either.

iburl June 19, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I'm not sure how this is possible, but…

Google results for "Constipated turtle" = 358K results
Google results for "Constipated turtle McConnell" = 533K results

PuglyDoRight June 19, 2012 at 9:00 pm

So Mitch is a top?

Native_of_SL_UT June 19, 2012 at 9:04 pm

None of what McConnell says makes sense since we all know the GOP leadership is the Koch Brothers. They're just too chickenshit to step up the plate and let the 99.9% know who's really running the show.

fuflans June 19, 2012 at 9:19 pm

i would like to write a suessian poem to mitch and mittens as mitch and mittens deserves suessian treatment.

however i am very tired today and have to catch up on the cabernet.

smokefilledroommate June 19, 2012 at 9:35 pm

McConnell is one big turtle head, for damn sure. He seems to be in a state of perpetual crowning.

cheetojeebus June 19, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Mitch " Do you want to pet my turtle" McConnell probably has to commit rape just to masturbate.

Designer_Radio June 19, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Maybe Mitch is despondent because of today's news about his kin, dying while trying to make baby McConnells.

Turtles fossilised in sex embrace

Researchers think the turtles had initiated sex in the surface waters of the lake that once existed on the site, and were then overcome as they sank through deeper layers made toxic by the release of volcanic gases.

The animals, still in embrace, were then buried in the lakebed sediments and locked away in geological time.

They never even had a chance!

cheetojeebus June 19, 2012 at 9:53 pm

btw I am sure glad there is no sideboob in this story.

thebeatgoeson June 19, 2012 at 10:07 pm

He IS the side boob. Or it's a side show of boobs. Also, too.

cheetojeebus June 19, 2012 at 10:30 pm

These are not the sideboobs I'm looking for.

glamourdammerung June 19, 2012 at 10:53 pm

He feels the Romentum™ !

Negropolis June 19, 2012 at 11:50 pm

The chair recognizes the esteemed Gentle Turtle from Kentucky.

owhatever June 20, 2012 at 12:19 am

Mitch said his goal is that Romney be a one-term president.

Warpde June 20, 2012 at 12:35 am

"He is the leader of our party from now until November,” McConnell said.

You can't improve on that.

Isyaignert June 20, 2012 at 12:51 am

Mitch McConjob actually said today that he thought the poor needed to pay more in taxes. I shit you not. What an 'effin' sociopathic POS!!

RayneMan June 20, 2012 at 12:54 am

Must be nice to have a job where you don't have to do shit for months.

(heh heh heh heh, I said douche it)

RayneMan June 20, 2012 at 12:57 am

I just had a thought (scary, I know) : If he's not working, and he's still collecting a check, isn't that…. *gasp*…. WELFARE!?

*faints*

ttommyunger June 20, 2012 at 6:57 am

Still, he is married to the CMIMLTF (Cabinet Member I'd Most Like To Fuck), so he's got that going for him, which is nice…

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Ron Paul supporters better watch out if Karl Rove starts giving them a lecture about teamwork.

scvirginia June 19, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Maybe Karl needs to look out- them Paultards can get mighty feisty…

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