he rests his case!

Joe The Plumber Has Brilliant Analysis Of What Caused The Holocaust

What caused the Holocaust? (Or per Business Insider, “Why are the sources of anti-Semitism?”) Well, you could be boring about it and point to the rich vein of anti-Semitism going back to the Middle Ages in those parts of Bavaria where Hitler was strongest, and add in his need for an “other” to blame for Germany’s terrible economic situation after the Treaty of Versailles. But what are you, in grad school? Nope, much better to just go online and see what the militia folks are saying, like “Joe” the “Plumber” did!

Mr. The Plumber, who apparently would like some more attention, please, has a new ad out that explains that gun control caused both the Holocaust and the Armenian genocide. That is some First Class trolling there, Joe, but you forgot one tiny, teeny thing:

Jews don’t do guns.

[Via ThinkProgress]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  • DrunkIrishman

    Could you imagine Jews with guns? I'm guessing there would be a lot of friendly fire.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I'm sure they'd trade shots.

      At a discount.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Your move, Menachem Begin.

    • sullivanst

      Dunno, ask the Lebanese, I think they found the fire to be very unfriendly.

      • DrunkIrishman

        Israeli Jews so don't count.

        • finallyhappy

          My uncles- but they are all dead now- fought -with guns in WWII. At least 2 of them had guns and hunted(yes, hunted animals) after they returned.

          • sewollef

            My dad fought with guns also, too. 'Cept it was a effing big gun with lots of armoured steel around it and an engine at the back.

            He had a silly name for his gun gang…. something like, 7th Armoured Division of the 8th Army. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue that name. I preferred 'Desert Rats'.

          • sullivanst

            I believe a fair few Polish Jews fought with less effin' big, but still big enough, guns bolted on to some balsa wood with an engine at the front and wings on the side, too.

            Doesn't look like they had anywhere as cool names as Monty's crew, though.

    • widestanceromance

      If only Anne Frank had a My First AK-47, she might not have thought people were really good at heart and that's the real tragedy for Herr(-less) Plumber.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Jews, Israelis, what difference does it make?

    • Negropolis

      Says the drunk Irishman. lol

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

    What caused the Holocaust? (Or per Business Insider, “Why are the sources of anti-Semitism?”)

    Or, per Sonja (@sweden), "Whats the fuzz with jews?"

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Well, see, Sonja, some sects of Judiaism do not allow men to shave their face–

      Oh, you meant "fuss"…

      • MosesInvests

        That's very different. Never mind.

    • Antispandex

      " What caused the Holocaust?"

      That's so easy. Obama, of course!

  • nounverb911

    Do plumbers "Plump" when you grill them?

    • HogeyeGrex

      I don't know, but I'd bet they scream if you put them in the oven.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Would I toin da gas on if my friend Joe was in dere, Doc?

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

          What the fuck, you guys?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Everybody screams when you put them in the oven.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Even mimes?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            They do jazz hands.

          • sullivanst

            Edvard Munch libel!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Easy for you to (virtually) say.

          • sullivanst

            It's not that hard… say "moon" quickly and add a k, and you basically have it.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Very funny, sullivanst. You make the ha-ha, yes?

          • sullivanst

            *bobs head while grinning with both hands flat in front of his mouth*

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Sully is very funny. I

    • widestanceromance

      I do know you can fit thousands of them in the ash try of a Volkswagen.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I don't know, let's find out!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Because if there's one thing Jews have always done well, it's shoot people.

  • ChernobylSoup

    And if Joe the Plumber had a plumber's license he'd be a plumber.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      If his name was, you know, Joe.

      • ChernobylSoup

        Now you're just being pedantic.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I deny the charge. She told me she was eighteen

          • Crank_Tango

            Allegedly.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sorry, but I don't believe for one minute that he knows a fucking thing about the Armenian genocide.

    • Doktor Zoom

      He knows as much about the Armenian genocide as he does about the reasons for the Holocaust.

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        Or, frankly, anything apart from "Does Joe get the moneys? Joe does? Joe likey."

      • Crank_Tango

        All caused by liberals, done and done.

    • sullivanst

      He's heard about it because he's from the same state as Mean Jean Schmidt and her Armenian-Holocaust-Denial Machine, apparently he didn't quite understand that the party line was it never happened.

    • ChernobylSoup

      It's okay, neither do Turkish school kids.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Very winnish.

    • edgydrifter

      He thinks the Armenians were those blue dudes from Avatar and that they totally deserved to be wiped out for being filthy savage space Commies.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        …who were tree-huggers, to boot!!!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Hey knows as much as the holocaust and Armenian genocide as he does the requirement to become an actual plumber.

    • boobookitteh

      I guess he didn't get the memo from Condi that it never happened.
      http://www.armenianweekly.com/2011/11/04/condi-ri

    • PubOption

      If he knew that Kardashian was an Armenian name, would he still feel the same way about the genocide?

      • Geminisunmars

        More importantly, would he still feel the same about the Kardashians.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He knows that
      (1) if you get genocided, it's because you didn't have enough guns, and
      (2) if you didn't have enough guns, it was because of gun control.

      So simple, even a plumber can figure it out.

      • Gleem McShineys

        (Psst ixnay on the umber-play, I kinda didn't get the license!)
        I MEAN OH UM, LOOK OVER THERE, GUN CONTROL GENOCIDERS!

    • miss_grundy

      He's a hillbilly from Ohio, he doesn't know shit!

    • Callyson

      Turkey instituted gun control…hence their genocide against Armenians. Guess it makes sense in Wingnutland…

      • sewollef

        So, Joe thinks there was too much 'gun control' — during war time? Of fucking course there was gun control…. controlled by the occupying German army.

        Who does this moran think he is, a fucking plumber?

  • nounverb911

    Why does "Joe the Plumber" hate tomatoes? Can we train them to shoot back?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Faster, Brandywine, KILL! KILL!

    • flamingpdog

      They can be trained to kill.

      • elviouslyqueer

        I win!

        • flamingpdog

          Free wallpapers???

  • sullivanst

    Something else not-Joe the not-Plumber forgot. The Jewish population of Germany in the 30s was well below 1% of the overall population. Shooting back wasn't gonna get them very far.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Greatest war machine in history (up to that point) v. a bunch of guys in tefilin running around with revolvers.

      These guys just don't get it, do they?

      • sullivanst

        It's a thing with them, the whole not getting anything.

        • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

          Progressives are the master race – the Fourth Reich!

          • MissTaken

            Oh for fuck's sake.

            Lemme guess! Nazi's are liberals because it says Socialism right in their name. Right?

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

            Also too, Robert Byrd was in the Klan!!!! Chappaquiddick!!!

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            Chappaquiddick? Why bring the architect of the wildly successful NCLB into this?

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            No, we liberals really are vastly superior to those knuckle-dragging conservatives! Just read the posts here!

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            We progressives know that preSScott buSSh advised Hitler on forming his Schutzstaffel.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Ooh look, it's a new troll!

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

            Actually, a very old one, with a history of abusing the comments system to harrass the bejesus out of people, and then crying intolerance when he finally got banned.

            If our editrix is reading this, I just want to say that America's justice system, flawed as it is, is probably correct in concluding that some people are beyond rehabilitation.

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            IOW, burn the witch! Burn him now!

            "some people are beyond rehabilitation"

            A great example might be the author of this statement below, swordfis:

            "Why don't you go back to licking the balls of Dead Breitbart, you malevolent troglodyte?"

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

            IOW, burn the witch! Burn him now!

            Are we quoting Monty Python now, because I have one, too:

            "Help, help, I'm being oppressed!"

            Also, I fail to see how swordfis's entirely accurate description for those just tuning in, and a suggestion that you return to your favorite passtime qualifies as unseemly.

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            That burning, turgid rage you choke with both hands is about to explode all over your keyboard.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

            Hey now. I can't fault a fella for having an active fantasy life, and I have to admit I'm oddly flattered in a way, but let's try and keep it G-rated, okay? There might be children tuning in.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Wow. You're kind of a sad old troll. I mean, pathetic. Not particularly clever and really really boring.

            I crap bigger turds than you after breakfast.

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            OMG, posters on this forum lack creativity and wit.

          • not that Radio

            Under the new system, only smokefilledroommate, Negropolis and Radiotherapy get banned. Trolls are allowed to roam free.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

            Ah. Well, that seems tough, but fair. I certainly can't fault our illustrious editrix for such a system as that.

            (Please don't ban me!)

          • not that Radio

            Talkin' outta turn? That's a paddlin'.

          • miss_grundy

            That's what dumb republicans think. But again, what do they know.

          • sullivanst

            Case in point.

          • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

            Why don't you go back to licking the balls of Dead Breitbart, you malevolent troglodyte?

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            What are you talking about?

            We progressives are really nice people. Genteel and such.

      • Doktor Zoom

        If the Jews in Germany had been armed, they could have at least filmed ads showing them shooting a copy of the Nuremberg Laws.

      • Geminisunmars

        Well, the teflon would make the bullets just slide off, wouldn't it?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      And of that tiny number, a significant portion were female, or children below the age to, you know, effectively murder other people. Jesus, these people, what the FUCK is wrong with them?

      • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

        "Jesus, these people, what the FUCK is wrong with them? "

        They are not perfect like we liberals!

        • sullivanst

          What a stinging rebuke! Witless sarcasm defeats grade-school math!

        • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

          Don't you get enough attention by masturbating in front of school playgrounds?

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            You speak from experience, as if you are part of the Occupy Schoolyard group.

          • CivicHoliday

            We probably should be occupying schoolyards, what with so many conservative governors trying to blame public school teachers for their state's financial woes. But you wouldn't know anything about any of that because my guess is you have Glenn Beck's chalkboard so far up your ass that you can only spew talking points.

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            What's with the obsession with the male ass?

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            What's the obsession with having "legislation" rammed down our throats?

          • http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-rich-taxed-less-secretaries-070642868.html NY9 Solyndra

            What are you talking about? We progressives know that all progress comes from the federal government! The more laws, the better! If a session of Congress passes a lot of laws, that means they are mas macho.

  • RayneMan

    What a tool.

    Specifically, a plunger.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Not a bumwad?

    • Barrelhse

      The snake!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wait — I thought affordable healthcare caused the holocaust.

    • HogeyeGrex

      No, no. Affordable healthcare is the Holocaust.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Wait, so if we abolished gun control we'd have single payer?

        Wow. That's a tough call….

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          If we abolish gun control, we won't need health care.

      • NotMother

        Nope. It's the possibility of hedge fund managers losing their carried interest tax exemptions.

      • Swampgas_Man

        No, allowing women to control their own reproductive cycle is the holocaust. My preacher done told me!

    • widestanceromance

      Wait more–I thought it was the homos?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Well, ERbody knows the Ho-Moes are the root cause of civilization's discontents.

        • widestanceromance

          We've been around for a long, long time and helped many a man seal his fate. . .woo woo woo. . .

      • elviouslyqueer

        No no. We're causing white people to die off in droves, remember?

        • widestanceromance

          Settle down, kids. We did ALL that and more and still found time to give your Boy Scout a reacharound!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Busy, busy, busy.

        • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

          I thought you were too busy destroying marriage to kill whitey!

    • extreme_left

      I thought Communism caused it.

  • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    If I were to attempt a parody of the idiocy of "gun lovin', rootin' tootin' Americans" in the most classless way possible then I couldn't even come close to the fake plumber.

    That's an achievement, I suppose.

    • RayneMan

      I wonder if he and Ted Nugent swap spit? Actually, no I don't *vomits*

      Funny thing is, he's from Ohio, as am I. We're not exactly known for being a "gun lovin', rootin' tootin'" area. So, having said that, to whom is he pandering? *mind-boggled*

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        He's pandering to the Americans who exist in his own mind. Which is sort of scary.

  • noodlesalad

    I think idiot skinhead plumbers who did the piping for the showers had more to do with it.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      They would have had names like Wurzelbacher, no doubt.

      • noodlesalad

        And they definitely would have loved the homeland.

        • Generation[redacted]

          And guns. I bet they owned lots of guns.

    • widestanceromance

      J the P would not have been 'a good German,' he would have been 'The Best German.'

  • Tommy1733

    Pass the Lord and praise the ammunition.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Heyyyy…them are some nice bullets you got there.

      • NellCote71

        Is that a bullet, or are you just happy to see me? (inside reference to an ex-husband).

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Well, any time you bust out the vibe…

  • An_Outhouse

    I fear Jews with guns less than I do cows with guns. Burger King is the real holocaust.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
    • BarackMyWorld
    • GeorgiaMike

      But Chic-fil-A is fighting on the side of the cows, except for the ones that caught teh gay.

  • bikerlaureate

    When scapegoats are outlaws, only outlaws… uh, wait, I know this one…

  • Eve8Apples

    A fake plumber and a pretend world history scholar. Joe's the whole package alright. A big package.

    • BarackMyWorld

      A big package?

      I figured he was into guns to compensate for something.

      • RayneMan

        I think, this time, the package is in the rear.

    • MOG2410

      Package of WtF????

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        I resemble that remark!

  • http://www.wonkette.com John Birf Society

    On behalf of my people, I thank you, Joe! Now someone will speak for the Jews.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Yes. Jew the Plumber.

  • HempDogbane

    Do I have to watch the video to comment that Joe is a real Dick?

    • timbo71351

      No, and JoeNotaPlumber is too stupid to turn off the like and dislike button on his YouTube clips.

  • LastGasp

    There was gun control… in Nazi Germany?
    [insert laugh that goes on for a dozen lines here]
    Seriously, the Nazis were all about guns, guns, and more guns.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Nazi gun control = control your gun so you have a better chance of hitting Jews.

    • sullivanst

      Yes there was, but the grain of truth has been well mashed and incorporated in a few pounds of lies.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        A very interesting site. Thank you.

      • sewollef

        And of course that grain of truth [very interesting site, btw], became irrelevant following the annexation of Austria and the subsequent blitzkrieg of Poland.

        Even assuming that the Poles were a well-armed people [they weren't], the professional Polish army was swept aside by the speed, ferociousness and overwhelming might of the German invasion, I shudder to think what kind of response would have been meted out to a lightly-armed civilian revolt.

        Oh that's right, the Warsaw ghetto uprising dealt with that, at a time when the Germans had moved most of their elite troops, armor and weapons to the Eastern Front to counter the advancing Russians, they still crushed the uprising with limited resources. Although those resources were SS-Commando groups.

        Still, over 13,000 Jews armed with handguns, molotov cocktails and the odd rifle, died as the ghetto was firebombed to oblivion. The surviving 50,000 were shipped to Treblinka extermination camp.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    And if unarmed tomatoes had come to kill the Jews and the Armenians, they probably would not have even needed guns to fend them off; they could have just squished them while doing some kind of klezmer dance.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Given his record, I wouldn't have expected him to even Shoah little knowledge or decency on this topic, either.

    • finallyhappy

      Ok, how many Wonketteers got that one?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        All of them, Katie.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Yes, but you know who did have have access to guns, besides Custer, the South and the folks at Waco?

  • CapnRadio

    Sure, everyone wants gun control. But at what HoloCOST‽

    /subtlety

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I can easily imagine Jews with guns. It's a little thing I like to call Israel.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      This is why I will always support the existence of the state of Israel, even as I argue against Israeli state policy towards the Palestinian people.

      • LionHeartSoyDog

        If there was going to be a state of Israel after WW2, they should have taken a chunk of Germany.
        Why make the Palestinian people suffer for the crimes of the German Nazis?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          While I agree that most of the attempted genocide against the Jews after the Diaspora came at the hands of Europeans, surely the victims themselves would not have been comfortable remaining in a divided and torn country filled with ugly memories. We (the people of the world) gave them a flawed solution and we have all, the Palestinian people most of all, suffered ever since.

          Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policemen's Union posits a different solution, not one that I'm advocating either. It's an interesting read, if you haven't already read it.

        • sullivanst

          Because Balfour had promised a Jewish homeland in Israel in 1917, which helped motivate the efforts of Zionists to encourage Jews to move into the area and in some cases fight.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I mentioned this earlier, but I thought the official wingnut line on the Holocaust was God let the Holocaust happen so the Jews could get Israel back and allow the end-times to begin.

    Or is that just the crazy Revelation-zealot wingnut reason? I think I might be getting my wingnut classifications confused.

    • Chichikovovich

      Well, shoor. But he tossed in a lesson about the importance of a home arsenal for self-protection too. It's hard being Divine Providence, you need to multi-task.

    • scvirginia

      Nope, I think you got it about right. Now they're just waiting for the pure red calf, & then something, something, mosque destruction, something else, Muslims, something, Rapture, something else, End Times, the END.

      • MOG2410

        Looking forward to the Post-Rapture scavenger hunt – cars, food, water, guns -to fight the final battle. DAMIENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

        • scvirginia

          Love that bumper sticker: "when the rapture comes, can I have your car?"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yes, but, see, if those goddamn Jooz (whom we totally support) had been armed, they could've fought back against the 99% non-Jews with whom they shared a nation, thereby disobeying GAWD's word and … DANGER DANGER DANGER

      • MOG2410

        Careful, you're overloading!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I swear to god sometimes when I'm reading their shit I think I'm gonna pop an artery.

    • sullivanst

      Remember when McCain had to unaccept John Hagee's endorsement after audio surfaced of him saying this:

      “Then God sent a hunter. A hunter is someone with a gun and he forces you. Hitler was a hunter. And the Bible says – Jeremiah writing ? ‘They shall hunt them from every mountain and from every hill and from the holes of the rocks,’ meaning there’s no place to hide. And that might be offensive to some people but don’t let your heart be offended. I didn’t write it, Jeremiah wrote it. It was the truth and it is the truth. How did it happen? Because God allowed it to happen. Why did it happen? Because God said my top priority for the Jewish people is to get them to come back to the land of Israel.”

  • Doktor Zoom

    Be fair. Joe lost family in the Holocaust. His grandfather died at Auschwitz….

    …falling out of a guard tower.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Joe's pipe needz moar sweating.

    • MOG2410

      EWWWWWWWWWWW.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      What the flux?

    • bobbert

      I have a tube bender just his size.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    The Jews seem to do a pretty good job with F-16s and Mirage III's, too.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Not all Jews are Israelis, and not all Israelis are Jews.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Word War II could have been prevented if both sides had guns.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      See, if only we hadn't had gun control, back then …

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Zactly!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Actually, Joe has it wrong: Hitler actually relaxed gun control laws.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Zis contradiction uff ze narrative vill not be tolerated.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Not according to the site GunCite, cited by sullivanst, above. Apparently, according to an apparently well-researched article at that site, Hitler tightened gun control laws in 1938.

      • glamourdammerung

        Actually, there is another article I read (at the same site and possibly by the same author if my memory is correct) about how they did loosen private ownership. But again, they were going off the 1928 laws which also loosened private ownership (since the original laws had no rules to allow private ownership at all). The 1928 law required registration and presumably would have kept the Nazis from owning guns (since they had to be "law abiding" and most of their leadership did time for that whole "Beer Hall Putsch" debacle).

        And the 1938 rewriting of the 1928 law lowered the age of legal ownership and removed pretty much all non-handgun weapon restrictions. Which is not even that odd that handguns had restrictions considering pistols have been heavily regulated in that area since the Holy Roman Empire.

        But of course, the myth that the 1968 Gun Control Act was translated from German (specifically the imaginary Nazi gun ban law) is an article of faith among a good chunk of the lunatic fringe.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Thank you. I would ask you if you had a link to the specific RWNJs spouting this drivel, but I'm quite sick of reading their garbage right now.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyRadio

    Well, you could be boring about it

    I for one welcome our new Over-bored's!

    (not really)

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

    Funny how right-wingers keep on pushing this ahistoric line.

    Fun fact: Nazi Germany actually had relatively lax gun laws (for non-Jews). Simiarly, Saddam Hussein's Iraq actually had compulsary gun ownership by citizens. Contra the right-wing/neoconfederate insurrectionist theory of the Second Amendment, all those guns did bupkis in terms of armed uprisings that successfully deposed dicatators and tyrants.

    Why, it's enough to lead one to believe that effective social control, mass-censorship of dissent, and deploying broad police powers against the same, backed up by a massive military complex relative to the populace, somehow manage to stifle dissent long before they reach the point of active revolt.

    Speaking of which, how does (yet another) Joe feel about a free and independent press? What about war critics?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      dude. history, facts, we're talking about wingtards here.

      • extreme_left

        Facts are just the playground of elitist UN types.

        As for stifling dissent, nothing like taking our historical figures of rebellion and turning them into obsequious hobbo's as I saw in Ridley Scott's flacid 'Robin Hood', the whole 'steal from the rich and give to the poor' was a side note and hood was turned into a nice peasant boy who knew the importance of having a nice Lord of the manor.

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

          You know, there's actually a decent narrative by which Robin Hood was some terrible wingnut tax protester.

          Think about it: the "Good King" Richard the Lionhearted racks up an enormous debt while going off to have a foreign adventure. Prince John is left in his place, and has a fucking kingdom to run. So what does he do? He raises taxes, to pay for shit. So, what does that make Robin Hood and his bandits, in this version?

          • extreme_left

            Depends if Hood was down with Military expansion, i'm guessing he wasn't. The vast majority of Taxtards are all for Military expansion funded by cutting Civilian Government to offset cut's in taxes, as seen in the only sane part of Daddy Pauls platform, that is Military minimisation, getting roundly crushed recently.

    • not that Radio

      You know who else was named Joe and disapproved of war criticism/free press?

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

        Joe Miller?
        Joe Lieberman?
        Joe Walsh?
        Joe Arpaio?
        Joe McCarthy?
        Joe Barton?
        Joe Wilson?
        Joe Scarborough?
        Joe Vogler?
        Joe Piscapo? (I mean, presumably)

        • not that Radio

          You shouldn't include Joe Piscopo in that list. His father included him in that list once. ONCE.

  • TribecaMike

    Shouldn't the music be a little less peppy? Or does ominous cost more?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT but related to earlier post, Kennedy Institute tells Scott Brown to fuck off.

    • MOG2410

      Wish I'd said that.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      What a pussy he is!

      • miss_grundy

        Actually, he's a tosser, a twat and a little scared bitch.

  • Estproph

    I'm going to start calling him Mr. The Plumber. Too good to pass up. Joe the Plumber, along with his sister Josephine, and brother Liquid.

  • HippieEsq

    As accurate as the time he said Obama's election would be "the end of Israel".

  • Weenus299

    What the fuck caused kamikazes?

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Ummm, gun control in Korea?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Equal pay for women, obvs.

    • HarryButtle

      A tanker truck full of vodka crashed into a truck full of limes just as a plane loaded with Triple Sec crashed on the same spot?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Constipation.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Teh gheyz, duh.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    I'd bet dollars for donuts Joe's mom's mitochondrial DNA carries the dreaded 'jew curse'!

  • Gopherit

    With Joe the Plumber in congress, no fruit is safe……metaphorically speaking.

  • Chichikovovich

    There were events of armed resistance. For example Czech resistors killed Reinhard Heydrich, who was a Hitler golden boy running Czechslovakia. And what happened?

    [Wikipedia:
    On 9 June, after discussions with Himmler and Karl Hermann Frank, Hitler ordered brutal reprisals. Over 13,000 people were arrested, deported, and imprisoned. Beginning on 10 June, all males over the age of 16 in the village of Lidice, 22 km north-west of Prague, and the village of Ležáky, were murdered. All the women in Ležáky were also murdered. All but four of the women from Lidice were deported immediately to Ravensbrück concentration camp (four were pregnant – they were forcibly aborted at the same hospital where Heydrich had died and then sent to the concentration camp). A number of children were chosen for Germanization, but 81 were killed in gas vans at the Chełmno extermination camp. Both towns were burned and the ruins of Lidice were levelled. At least 1,300 people were massacred after Heydrich's death.

    If only the people of Lidice and Ležáky had assault weapons in their basements they would have been fine?

    And there was the shooting of the diplomat vom Rath in Paris. In response to which Hitler unleashed Kristallnacht. But that was in 1938, before the time when, according to Joe the Historian, Germany imposed gun control. So the Jewish community in Germany could defend themselves, right? No government would dare take on armed patriots. That's not how I remember my readings about Kristallnacht, but my history books are obviously anti-2nd Amendment propaganda.

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Nobody said you wouldn't get your hair mussed!!

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      You are attempting to read far too much into this man's "thought" process.

      TBH it's insulting to anyone whose talents extend to such ridiculously elite things like "reading"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Ur a godam eleetess relynig on books and that stuff lkei that bcos even aBush an I dont agre wtih him sed he kneow thigns fron his gut, in his gut he know them.

    • sullivanst

      Let's not forget the Night of the Long Knives, when Hitler had Ernst Röhm murdered. Being head of an entire (well-armed) militia did Röhm no good.

  • Soylent Green

    Silly numbnuts, facts are for kids: The Holocaust was caused by christian conservatives wielding guns who perceived Jews as inferior as stated by their religion.

    • extreme_left

      .. to say nothing on the long glorious history of Christian progroms against Jews with a fun fact being the English first introduced the yellow star accessory. The progrom got it's start by Christians not being allowed to lend money so they went to tha Joos for cash, then when the Joos wouldn't lend any more they were massacred or run out of town in the name of the Lord. A great debt solution, just kill the holder of the loan.

      One wonders how many Joos were owed cash to finance all those concrete highways of the Third Reich… seeing as the Reich was built on debt.. like another Reich.

  • ChrisM2011

    Yes, if Anne Frank had only been packing a few 9mm and went all Jovovich on those germans the world would've been a different place.

    • MOG2410

      Needs moar Alice.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Yes, armed resistance to ethnic cleansing has always worked

  • poorgradstudent

    If I can have a snark-free moment? Thank you.

    For starters, this is just like the bullshit that they always crap out whenever a horrible shooting massacre happens. No matter how much you want to think otherwise, a majority of people do not do not turn into John McClane in the middle of a potentially violent situation involving weapons, especially if your only exposure to firearm combat is the shooting range and the occasional round of "Call of Duty." As an ancillary to that, if you think you could stand up to the World War II-era German army with just your trusty rifle, well, be my guest. I mean, there was Jewish armed resistance to the Nazis, but even they with more resources than you can probably get even at a gun show didn't stop the Holocaust.

    Second, quite a few of the first Jews who ended up in concentration camps were members of the Polish army – and, hey, THEY HAD GUNS!

    Third, if you actually knew anything about the Holocaust and the historical consensus about how it could happen, you would realize that one of the MAJOR POINTS in Holocaust studies is that the Nazis made things worse by increments, and took advantage of the fact that they were acting against a minority already wearily accustomed to even official persecution, so that by the time many people realized that Nazi anti-Semitism wasn't something that would just pass over they were already having their property taken away and forced into the ghettos.

    That's actually considered one of the biggest yet less obvious lessons of the Holocaust, and has been echoed in works like THE HANDMAID'S TALE ever since: that modern governments that wish to take freedom away from a minority do so gradually. Hey, isn't that the whole reason why wingers like Joe the Plumber say we can't have universal health care and high-speed rail projects – because it would lead to SOCIALISM and then the gulags? Sounds like Joe's not all that confident in the ability of the Second Amendment to protect us after all.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      the Nazis made things worse by increments, and took advantage of the fact that they were acting against a minority already wearily accustomed to even official persecution

      Sorta like Americans under W.

    • MrFizzy

      Stop making sense – America is simply not the correct venue for this kind of thing.

  • jerichothedrifter

    I dunno, Jews did pretty doggone well with guns in the Warsaw Ghetto uprising. Too bad it was too late by then.

    I really thought this dumbass was gonna disappear by now.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Another thing we can thank John McCain for.

  • Baconzgood

    That tomato shoulda armed its self.

  • greenide1

    So the victims are to blame because they aren't violent, gun-toting assholes like the aggressors? Hmm. I guess that means Wonkette readers are responsible for the current House of Representatives…

  • rickmaci

    Sooo, I guess the f *ing Turks caused the Kardashians? Thanks Joe.

    I love the new history where you just make shit up and then pretend it really happened. Used to be people like that got locked up in a hospital and treated. Now we are putting them in Congress.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    has anybody left a worse campaign legacy than john mccain?

    • Limeylizzie

      Hitler.

      • MOG2410

        Always.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Eva Braun didn't appear on DWTS and get her own reality show.

    • bobbert

      Reagan and W, for two, but of course that's partly because they won.

    • Negropolis

      Nixon ranks up there.

  • owhatever

    I luvz the America, cause over here, I can put on safety glasses and earmuffs and shoot a tomato.

    That would not have been possible back when they took the guns away from Turkeys. The tomatoes ran wild and killed every Jew in Germany. Then the Russians bombed Pearl Harbor.

    • PubOption

      Not plain old earmuffs, but mirror image earmuffs (see at about 16 seconds), also note that he is shooting tomatoes with a shotgun, so not much need for accuracy.

  • widestanceromance

    Why is Joe ignoring the obvious: a certain Jew would have shot up the Romans like so much swiss cheese–IF he only had been packing. And then maybe some weird-ass religion with an execution device as a logo would never have been smeared across the planet. Oh, wait. He likes that part.

  • Ryy

    Jonah Goldberg says it was liberals that caused the holocaust…. is Joe calling him a liar!?

  • DeathOfIrony

    One thing for sure, Nazi Germany was really afraid of people that had guns. They overran France and the low country because the French were armed with baguettes and tried to stop the blitzkrieg by sending mimes to the border to fool the Germans into thinking there was an invisible wall there.

    BTW what kind of punk-ass dinky shotgun was that? I'd be afraid to take on a squirrel with that pea-shooter Joe.

    Oh, and you suck, douchebag…

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      I'm waiting for the Downfall Parody of this before I make any further comments.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Joe the Plumber? Sounds more like Joe the Just Scratches the Surface.

  • TribecaMike

    Tarantino's next flick: "Joe The Opprobrious Basterd."

  • Nostrildamus

    It doesn't surprise me Joe can't pronounce "Armenians", but Christ, you'd think that maybe someone on the production crew might. Guess not.

    These people are morons. Every single one of them.

  • coolhandnuke

    Joe is just following the NRA's recipe for salsa.

    • scvirginia

      Hope he's not lookin' for spicy- those jalapenos are hard to hit from a distance…

      • coolhandnuke

        Jalapenos are way too ethnic for gun nuts. The NRA recipe calls for pepper spray and gun powder as the spices.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    I get it… the problem was always the gun control laws, not some army of assholes following the orders of an egomaniacal sociopath. Named Karl Rove.

    We *must* get to the bottom of Fast and Furious! Our freedom to shoot blood-thirsty tomatoes depends on it!

  • HarryButtle

    Used to be that history was written by the victors. Now it's just written and rewritten by any fucktard who can hold a crayon.

  • YouBetcha

    Sometimes, I think Palin was the worst thing McCain unleashed on us. Then, we hear from Joe the Unlicensed Plumber. It's a hard call. Tie, maybe?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I'd like to. To a shark cage. In a swimming pool, of course.

  • Generation[redacted]

    You know the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.

  • MissTaken

    How many Joe the Plumber for Congress ads are just him trying to tell the voters to vote for that Sam Wurzelbacher guy and not Joe the Plumber?

    • sullivanst

      It's gonna be quite hilarious seeing Marcy Kaptur's margin of victory in November.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Who is giving this excuse for a sludge pool money to run for office? That's like encouraging and outbreak of botulism.

  • TribecaMike

    Next time I run into a Holocaust-denier, I'm just going to whip out a shotgun and shoot them. Thanks for the tip, Joe! Say, can I share your parent's basement with you while I'm on the run? Just until the statue of limitation runs out.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    This is as bad as the Cain/Mark Block ad. You got Sam the Idiot babbling about Armenians, Jews, the Holocaust and some imagined direct correlation to gun rights, all while blowing the shit out of a few fruits and vegetables with a shotgun.

  • Nostrildamus

    The real reason the Armenians got clobbered was that General Lando Calrissian was preoccupied in Cloud City.

  • TribecaMike

    Uproarious Update from Think Progress:

    Hunter Walker at the New York Observer reached out to Wurzelbacher’s spokesperson, who only worsened the comparisons, comparing gun control to slavery as well:

    Phil Christofanelli [said] “there’s nothing offensive” about the video and discussed how gun control may have led to slavery in the United States too…. “Well, blacks weren’t allowed to own guns in the south, that’s a historical fact as well,” said Mr. Christofanelli. “So, it would seem that the argument would apply there as well.” http://thinkprogress.org/election/2012/06/19/5023

    • Generation[redacted]

      He's not going to win the support of his Republican base if he starts advocating giving guns to the blahs.

    • finallyhappy

      I'm sure the Klan and the American Nazi Party agree.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Truantly_Joe

      Blacks weren't allowed to read in the South, either. And yet, these guys never seem terribly worked up about literacy or education.

    • bobbert

      Good grief, he has a spokesperson who may be more stupid that he is. There may be no lower bound.

  • finallyhappy

    http://www.facebook.com/phil.christofanelli Is he still in college at Wash u?

    • TribecaMike

      Has Rand Paul offered him an internship yet?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Not a good day for Hannah Arendt.

  • __kth__

    "Gun control made the Holocaust possible" is as old as the hills. It's something you've heard a dozen times, if you know a lot of stupid people. I'm concerned that Wonkette lacks acquaintance with this key demographic (the stupids, that is). Also envious.

  • rmjagg

    listening to joe the plumber is like face-fucking an edsel . just awful

  • ttommyunger

    Sorry, I must get technical here: only a complete fucking idiot keeps his ammo in his weak hand pocket, passing rounds from one hand to another prior to loading, thereby unnecessarily risking dropping a round in the process. Once again, trying to look cool and coming off as a fuck-up, keep up the good work, Joe.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Dr_pangloss

    From 1492 to present millions of indians were not arming themselves with firearms and were subesquently overrun, murdered in cold blood and deported. I guess they should have developed guns first. I Love 'Merica.

  • Troubledog

    I pawned my guns to a Jew once, and it didn't stop any Holocausts.

  • garryboldwater

    You know why I don't ask plumber's what they think about the Holocaust? For the same reason I don't call history professors to unclog my shitter.

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    Asking Joe the Plumber his input on historical events is akin to asking your history professor from college to come fix that clogged up commode in your shithouse.