RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  1:30 pm June 19, 2012

Romney Advocates For Bees Learning the Kazakhstan Anthem

by Sulagna Misra

Aw, he spelled America right!Good news, everyone! No, just kidding, it’s not.
  • Can you tell the difference between ads and advocacy? Usually, it’s that one of them demands money and the other asks for it. But the line is blurring, which means basically that the ads are demanding you ask if you should give them money. [NPR]
  • Mitt Romney is “just one of the guys” now! Not, Just One of the Guys unfortunately, but…relatable, apparently. The best detail of this article is that they felt the need to point out that the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.” [Washington Post]
  • You can go to jail in Kazakhstan for using the Borat anthem instead of the actual one! Oh, Kazakhstan, trying to be a cool country like Iran and banning the stuff that make you famous! [The Atlantic]
  • Isabella Rossellini has made a short film (along with several others) in connection with Burt’s Bees about bees to spread awareness considering their recent decrease in numbers and serious endangerment. She plays a bee. Actually, she plays all the bees in the whole production. Actually, this movie looks amazing. Forget the new Pixar and Woody Allen and Spiderman movies this summer — watch this! [Grist]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 56 comments }

edgydrifter June 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Isabella Rossellini is single-handedly responsible for my insect fetish.

gullywompr June 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm

She's my kind of bed bug.

Geminisunmars June 19, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Oh, sharp!!!

BaldarTFlagass June 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm

She like to call me king bee
She like to buzz 'round my tree
O call her honey bee
I'm a man in a trance
I'm a boy in short pants
When I see my honey bee
And I've got something to say

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Show me round your fruitcage
'Cos I will be your honey bee
Open up your fruitcage
Where the fruit is as sweet as can be

Beowoof June 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Hey Mitt, I understand you are avoiding towns on your Bus Tour where Bain had an impact. The least you could you cheap prick is stop by and give them some Sheldon Adleson funded ice cream.

Maman June 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

or cheap Chinese cigarettes from Macau

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Or hell, sign a fucking autograph they can auction off on eBay, you damned cheap bastard.

gullywompr June 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Romney's the kind of guy Republicans want to have a beer with.

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Romney's the kind of guy Republicans want to have a beer buy a beer company with.

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Romney's the kind of guy Republicans want to have a beer with who would bogart your six pack if he drank.

FTFY

Estproph June 19, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Romney's the kind of guy Republicans want to have a bottle of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild 1959 with, and then piss on homeless people when they leave the club.

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Quite

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Whose wife is Willard with in that picture? I thought it was Ann from Arrested Development for a minute.

BarackMyWorld June 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Who? I don't remember her. I'm sure we've never met before.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm

It's as plain as the Ann on nose face.

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm

That's a wife? That looks like Ann's horse he's leading around

TribecaMike June 19, 2012 at 10:15 pm

That's his latest wife, Ayn Ann.

hagajim June 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Heck I watched that and now I want some eggs for lunch…damn it!

Chill_Bill June 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

♫♪ Throw the Mormon down the well, so my country can be free ♫♫

BaldarTFlagass June 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Interesting choice there, Mitt, using the black and WHITE photo.

ChernobylSoup June 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Ads are where they lie to you. Advocacy is where they grind down your last shred of hope in humanity by lying to you.

Not_So_Much June 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Isabella Rossellini being hot is the only thing that made sense in 'Blue Velvet'.

LesBontemps June 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

That and Dennis Hopper being Dennis Hopper.

Chow Yun Flat June 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm

We can expect more of both ads and advocacy promoting the complete whiteness of Mittens and his wife. Casper the Friendly Ghost will look like Sonny Liston compared with their undeniable lack of color.

For example the picture at the top of this post.

BaldarTFlagass June 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm

It's all he has left.

BarackMyWorld June 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I must have woke up extra-rational this morning because the idea that Romney is an actual contender for the presidency seems more preposterous than it normally does today.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 19, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Until you think of the vastly more-prepostrerous alternatives the GOP puked up as candidates.

fuflans June 19, 2012 at 9:54 pm

it's comments like this that remind me that my panic attacks are precisely what an overwrought theatrical imagination would produce.

BlueStateLibel June 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Willard looks like he's gained a few pounds by all eating all the junk food Real America just loves. Good. Ann looks like she's thinking how she can make her next dressage horse (poor creature) a tax deduction: http://tinyurl.com/6pd565z

GeorgiaBurning June 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Is Mitt doing a remake of "Bonnie and Clyde"?

HarryButtle June 19, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Can I be Frank Hamer?

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.”

A not-too-subtle dig at our Rocky Road President.

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm

SLUGGO!

I was getting worried, honey. How are you today?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm

the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.”

That is because Mormon Sharia law requires that ice cream be at least 90% vanilla.

DocChaos June 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

"Romney for President, Inc."? So now campaigns are people too?

SayItWithWookies June 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

C.G. Jones, 67, a real estate agent, said of Romney: “The media and the administration has unfairly put him in this ‘disconnect’ ivory tower. I don’t think so! He may be a little stiff, but I’d rather have that than our celebrity president."

Mitt's gotta be excited about that new attitude of enthusiastic resignation among Republican voters. In fact, he'd probably call it "chicken and, you know, noodles" for the soul.

Ducksworthy June 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Rawmoney/Enthusiastic Resignation 2012 Its inevitable.

HarryButtle June 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm

OT: I find the new pics of the bald cancer kids to be much harder to masturbate to than the old pics of Kortney.

Geminisunmars June 19, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Proof that you are not a Republican.

kingofmeh June 19, 2012 at 3:24 pm

doesn't the new masthead make up for this?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm

…but he was scooping ice cream at a rate of fifteen constituents per second. Those robot arms were a-flailing!

Mittens Howell, III June 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Misinformed Cliff Notes:

Don Draper was a founding father.
Mitt Romney is just one of the gays.
Ann Romney is a beard made of vanilla bees.
Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by little girls.
Isabella Rossellini is a honeypot.

I may have got that last one right.

TootsStansbury June 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I went on WAPOO this morning and read that. Read some comments too. I have to spend the rest of today looking at cute little kittens.

Blueb4sunrise June 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Nuptial flight or GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BarackMyWorld June 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I loved Joyce Hyser's…um…performance in "Just One of the Guys." When I was a teenager, I had a VHS copy of that movie and I used to watch her performance in slow motion.

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Oh yes. She displayed a marvelous range, all the way from left to right.

EatsBabyDingos June 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Venalia ice cream.

randcoolcatdaddy June 19, 2012 at 2:06 pm

"The best detail of this article is that they felt the need to point out that the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.”"

Vanilla ice cream isn't white enough and bland enough to describe Romney. A blank sheet of office copy paper isn't white enough and bland enough to describe Romney.

Ducksworthy June 19, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Yet, ironically, if you crumple up the copy paper and eat it like ice cream you can get the flavor of Romney's soul.

Estproph June 19, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Maybe Kazakhstan officials are fed up with people grasping their penises.

Nah, that can't be it.

actor212 June 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Is Olympic sport in Kazhakstan, komrade.

Estproph June 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm

In modern Kazakhstan, penis grasps YOU!

Ducksworthy June 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm

The Susan G. Komen foundation approves this message.

owhatever June 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Paid for by the Joseph Smith Found Some Gold Plates Filled with Graffiti in Upper New York and Mitt Romney Believes That Batshit Committee.

ttommyunger June 20, 2012 at 7:19 am

Ice cream libel. That's all I got…

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