Romney Advocates For Bees Learning the Kazakhstan Anthem

  rumors on the internets
Aw, he spelled America right!Good news, everyone! No, just kidding, it’s not.
  • Can you tell the difference between ads and advocacy? Usually, it’s that one of them demands money and the other asks for it. But the line is blurring, which means basically that the ads are demanding you ask if you should give them money. [NPR]
  • Mitt Romney is “just one of the guys” now! Not, Just One of the Guys unfortunately, but…relatable, apparently. The best detail of this article is that they felt the need to point out that the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.” [Washington Post]
  • You can go to jail in Kazakhstan for using the Borat anthem instead of the actual one! Oh, Kazakhstan, trying to be a cool country like Iran and banning the stuff that make you famous! [The Atlantic]
  • Isabella Rossellini has made a short film (along with several others) in connection with Burt’s Bees about bees to spread awareness considering their recent decrease in numbers and serious endangerment. She plays a bee. Actually, she plays all the bees in the whole production. Actually, this movie looks amazing. Forget the new Pixar and Woody Allen and Spiderman movies this summer — watch this! [Grist]
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56 comments

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      She like to call me king bee
      She like to buzz 'round my tree
      O call her honey bee
      I'm a man in a trance
      I'm a boy in short pants
      When I see my honey bee
      And I've got something to say

  1. Beowoof

    Hey Mitt, I understand you are avoiding towns on your Bus Tour where Bain had an impact. The least you could you cheap prick is stop by and give them some Sheldon Adleson funded ice cream.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Romney's the kind of guy Republicans want to have a beer buy a beer company with.

    2. Estproph

      Romney's the kind of guy Republicans want to have a bottle of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild 1959 with, and then piss on homeless people when they leave the club.

  2. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    Whose wife is Willard with in that picture? I thought it was Ann from Arrested Development for a minute.

  3. ChernobylSoup

    Ads are where they lie to you. Advocacy is where they grind down your last shred of hope in humanity by lying to you.

  4. Chow Yun Flat

    We can expect more of both ads and advocacy promoting the complete whiteness of Mittens and his wife. Casper the Friendly Ghost will look like Sonny Liston compared with their undeniable lack of color.

    For example the picture at the top of this post.

  5. BarackMyWorld

    I must have woke up extra-rational this morning because the idea that Romney is an actual contender for the presidency seems more preposterous than it normally does today.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Until you think of the vastly more-prepostrerous alternatives the GOP puked up as candidates.

    2. fuflans

      it's comments like this that remind me that my panic attacks are precisely what an overwrought theatrical imagination would produce.

  6. BlueStateLibel

    Willard looks like he's gained a few pounds by all eating all the junk food Real America just loves. Good. Ann looks like she's thinking how she can make her next dressage horse (poor creature) a tax deduction: http://tinyurl.com/6pd565z

  7. actor212

    the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.”

    A not-too-subtle dig at our Rocky Road President.

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.”

    That is because Mormon Sharia law requires that ice cream be at least 90% vanilla.

  9. SayItWithWookies

    C.G. Jones, 67, a real estate agent, said of Romney: “The media and the administration has unfairly put him in this ‘disconnect’ ivory tower. I don’t think so! He may be a little stiff, but I’d rather have that than our celebrity president."

    Mitt's gotta be excited about that new attitude of enthusiastic resignation among Republican voters. In fact, he'd probably call it "chicken and, you know, noodles" for the soul.

  10. HarryButtle

    OT: I find the new pics of the bald cancer kids to be much harder to masturbate to than the old pics of Kortney.

  11. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    …but he was scooping ice cream at a rate of fifteen constituents per second. Those robot arms were a-flailing!

  12. Mittens Howell, III

    Misinformed Cliff Notes:

    Don Draper was a founding father.
    Mitt Romney is just one of the gays.
    Ann Romney is a beard made of vanilla bees.
    Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by little girls.
    Isabella Rossellini is a honeypot.

    I may have got that last one right.

  13. TootsStansbury

    I went on WAPOO this morning and read that. Read some comments too. I have to spend the rest of today looking at cute little kittens.

  14. BarackMyWorld

    I loved Joyce Hyser's…um…performance in "Just One of the Guys." When I was a teenager, I had a VHS copy of that movie and I used to watch her performance in slow motion.

  15. randcoolcatdaddy

    "The best detail of this article is that they felt the need to point out that the ice cream he was scooping in New Hampshire during his bus tour was “mostly vanilla.”"

    Vanilla ice cream isn't white enough and bland enough to describe Romney. A blank sheet of office copy paper isn't white enough and bland enough to describe Romney.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Yet, ironically, if you crumple up the copy paper and eat it like ice cream you can get the flavor of Romney's soul.

  16. Estproph

    Maybe Kazakhstan officials are fed up with people grasping their penises.

    Nah, that can't be it.

  17. owhatever

    Paid for by the Joseph Smith Found Some Gold Plates Filled with Graffiti in Upper New York and Mitt Romney Believes That Batshit Committee.

Comments are closed.