That's MRS. Flotus to you...Why hello, FLOTUS fans. Have you been wondering what your First Lady Michelle Antoinette Obama has been up to the past few weeks? Anything particularly scandalous aside from hanging out on Pinterest looking at pictures of smoothies and going around, giving advice to hopelessly unemployed college graduates? Oh, here is something to freak out about: our FLOTUS went on “Live! With Kelly!” on Monday to show off how completely not-obese she is, which is very elitist of her. She was wearing “palazzo pants,” because again, she thinks she is too good for jorts and a two-for-one pack of tee-shirts from Walmart! That’s the thing about our Michelle. One minute she is renting out a Spanish palace mosque for herself and her closest girlfriends, and the next minute she’s jumping rope, like poor children do in after-school specials about diversity.

Michelle Obama was joined on the show by what we assume is the least popular group of kids in Cary, North Carolina, the “Cary YMCA SuperSkippers.”

Dressed in a pair of bright blue trousers, a flower-print blouse and a green cardigan, FLOTUS helped coach a frightened Ripa, who said she was “dying to learn” the sport.

“Turning is just as important as jumping,” Michelle Obama, 48, said.

After Ripa successfully jumped rope on her second try, the First Lady was ready to show her what a real expert can do.

After her first attempt didn’t pan out, The First Lady instructed the members of the competition team to “turn faster” before she jumped in to show off her skills.

Not only is that Michelle Obama a show-off, she is bossy, giving jump-roping orders to a professional troupe of child athletes! And oh, how we love her. Here is that video.

[Politico/NY Daily News]

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  • mrpuma2u

    Double dutch libel!!!!!!!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Less elitist skipping, more dancing horses.

    • SorosBot

      Ann Romney will definitely connect with the common people with her love of dressage, whatever the fuck that is!

    • glasspusher

      Prancing ponies

  • SoBeach

    You know who else liked to Double Dutch…

  • Trannysurprise

    She sure is uppity.

  • PubOption

    I thought that this double-rope skipping was a bit 'ethnic'.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I know. I was surprised to see those kids were white & boys(!). I thought jump roping was for girls–sorry to stereotype…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They're gay, obvsly.

  • Indiepalin

    Headline of the day (Answers in Genesis):

    "Are Mermaids Our Evolutionary Cousins?"

    • not that Radio

      Perhaps, but Neanderthals certainly weren't!

  • Oblios_Cap

    FLOTUS helped coach a frightened Ripa, who said she was “dying to learn” the sport.

    Kelly Ripa was frightened by jump rope? What, was it too proletarian for her?

    What a Romney!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I would have joined in but my hand got stuck in this KFC breakfast bucket.

  • HempDogbane

    How does she avoid getting that vagina tangled in the rope?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I heard it got wedged in a crack of some sort.

  • Estproph

    I wonder if Kelly Ripa had her clean up the set afterwards.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      To the Bewitched theme?

  • freakishlywrong

    She really is History's Greatest Monster. (And her cute husband is enraging conservatives acting like conservatives)

  • that's pretty "urban" for morning tv. hope audience was given proper warnings.

  • MrFizzy

    Stick to the funnel cake jumping Michelle, or you're not an American.

  • But she's BLAH, people!!!1!

  • Michelle Obama, in control of her health and appearing oblivious to critics and uninhibited from opening up new territory for First Ladies to come, though I can't see anyone else playing the part so well as this. I can die happy now.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I would love to try that but I am afraid that I might hurt my vagina.

    • Does your snatch hang low? Can you shake it to and fro?

  • SayItWithWookies

    You won't see Ann Romney doing nonsense like that — she's got people to double dutch for her.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      The sisterwives must have their specialized chores.

      • glasspusher

        Really. Learn to delegate.

  • SorosBot

    This just proves that she's an elitist, jumping when normal Americans are too fat to get their bodies off the ground.

  • badgitator

    Should we be exposing our children to such an, you know…ethnic activity?

    • Limeylizzie

      May be ethnic over here, but we played it all the time when I was a kid-it's called Skipping ,in the UK.

      • Oblios_Cap

        On this side of the Pond, Skipping is what we call cutting classes.

  • First thread today was about vaginas. Now this thread includes a bit about how our beloved FLOTUS is now an honorary Beaver doctor. There seems to be a theme today.

  • James Michael Curley

    Kelly Ripa, the World's oldest and most tiresome ingénue.

    • glasspusher

      I loved how Amy Poehler used to skewer her on SNL

  • freakishlywrong


    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      That does it. You may not post for two days.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Loved the Kelly Ripa comment: don't screw this up or we'll deport you.

    • You see Girls, you don't have to have a dick to be a dick!

  • Sorry, but I'm sure fat slob shithead Limbaugh will have all kinds of XXXXL sweaty outrage over "Moochelle" being on TV.

  • An_Outhouse

    What is she going to do next, color on the side walk with chalk?

  • This is basically a dig at the Dutch National Team for losing every game in the Supposed group of Death.

  • The Uppitiest Black Folks do Double Dutch Dressage.

  • barto

    It's so refreshing to have a FLOTUS who is light years away from being a freeze-dried rhesus monkey a la Nancy Reagan.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Needs moar Frankie Smith, obvs.

  • Pithaughn


  • mavenmaven

    Those Obamas are just too "skipppity"

  • Is not jumping by definition "uppity"?

    • savethispatient

      Uppity and then downity.

    • TribecaMike

      It's the swerving ones you've really gotta watch out for.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I would preferred a trampoline.

  • lunchbox360

    So Ripa was "dying to learn" how to jump rope? Boy, hopscotch is going to be murder for her. and Jacks are just out of the fucking question.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    What the hell…? Does she really expect Amercian kids to get out of their hoverounds? The very cheek, daring children to do what adults do. LET KIDS BE KIDS.

  • owhatever

    Ann Romney can do that on horseback.

  • i have a girl crush.

  • ttommyunger

    No doubt Kelly and Lou Sarah have the same voice coach. BTW, already fapped today, so I'll watch the vid tomorrow.

  • YasserArraFeck

    FLOTUS should watch out – seeing her in close proximity to a rope's gonna give the 'Tards ideas.

  • DemonicRage

    Under the "equal time" doctrine, isn't there some cable tv show where the 5 Romney sons could do a guest appearance and, as their special talent, have a circle jerk?

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