flotus files

Michelle Obama Jumps Rope To Amusement of Obese Kelly Ripa Fans

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Why hello, FLOTUS fans. Have you been wondering what your First Lady Michelle Antoinette Obama has been up to the past few weeks? Anything particularly scandalous aside from hanging out on Pinterest looking at pictures of smoothies and going around, giving advice to hopelessly unemployed college graduates? Oh, here is something to freak out about: our FLOTUS went on “Live! With Kelly!” on Monday to show off how completely not-obese she is, which is very elitist of her. She was wearing “palazzo pants,” because again, she thinks she is too good for jorts and a two-for-one pack of tee-shirts from Walmart! That’s the thing about our Michelle. One minute she is renting out a Spanish palace mosque for herself and her closest girlfriends, and the next minute she’s jumping rope, like poor children do in after-school specials about diversity.

Michelle Obama was joined on the show by what we assume is the least popular group of kids in Cary, North Carolina, the “Cary YMCA SuperSkippers.”

Dressed in a pair of bright blue trousers, a flower-print blouse and a green cardigan, FLOTUS helped coach a frightened Ripa, who said she was “dying to learn” the sport.

“Turning is just as important as jumping,” Michelle Obama, 48, said.

After Ripa successfully jumped rope on her second try, the First Lady was ready to show her what a real expert can do.

After her first attempt didn’t pan out, The First Lady instructed the members of the competition team to “turn faster” before she jumped in to show off her skills.

Not only is that Michelle Obama a show-off, she is bossy, giving jump-roping orders to a professional troupe of child athletes! And oh, how we love her. Here is that video.

[Politico/NY Daily News]

About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

View all articles by Blair Burke
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    1. SorosBot

      Ann Romney will definitely connect with the common people with her love of dressage, whatever the fuck that is!

    1. Texan_Bulldog

      I know. I was surprised to see those kids were white & boys(!). I thought jump roping was for girls–sorry to stereotype…

  1. Oblios_Cap

    FLOTUS helped coach a frightened Ripa, who said she was “dying to learn” the sport.

    Kelly Ripa was frightened by jump rope? What, was it too proletarian for her?

    What a Romney!

  2. freakishlywrong

    She really is History's Greatest Monster. (And her cute husband is enraging conservatives today..by acting like conservatives)

  3. MumbletyRadio

    Michelle Obama, in control of her health and appearing oblivious to critics and uninhibited from opening up new territory for First Ladies to come, though I can't see anyone else playing the part so well as this. I can die happy now.

  4. SayItWithWookies

    You won't see Ann Romney doing nonsense like that — she's got people to double dutch for her.

  5. SorosBot

    This just proves that she's an elitist, jumping when normal Americans are too fat to get their bodies off the ground.

    1. Limeylizzie

      May be ethnic over here, but we played it all the time when I was a kid-it's called Skipping ,in the UK.

  6. weejee

    First thread today was about vaginas. Now this thread includes a bit about how our beloved FLOTUS is now an honorary Beaver doctor. There seems to be a theme today.

  7. barto

    It's so refreshing to have a FLOTUS who is light years away from being a freeze-dried rhesus monkey a la Nancy Reagan.

  8. lunchbox360

    So Ripa was "dying to learn" how to jump rope? Boy, hopscotch is going to be murder for her. and Jacks are just out of the fucking question.

  9. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    What the hell…? Does she really expect Amercian kids to get out of their hoverounds? The very cheek, daring children to do what adults do. LET KIDS BE KIDS.

  10. ttommyunger

    No doubt Kelly and Lou Sarah have the same voice coach. BTW, already fapped today, so I'll watch the vid tomorrow.

  11. YasserArraFeck

    FLOTUS should watch out – seeing her in close proximity to a rope's gonna give the 'Tards ideas.

  12. DemonicRage

    Under the "equal time" doctrine, isn't there some cable tv show where the 5 Romney sons could do a guest appearance and, as their special talent, have a circle jerk?

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