maui wowie

Here Is A Picture Of Barack Obama’s High School Friends Being Total Drug Addicts

Look at these fucking stonersCan you find Jeff Spicoli in this picture? Have they already smoked their marijuana, or are they preparing to smoke their marijuana? Did they smoke two joints before they smoked two joints? Will they smoke two INTERCEPTED!

In the meantime, aw man, doesn’t this take you back? All that’s missing is someone’s mom to drive them to the skate park in their Ocean Pacific (OP) shorts. And what are they getting ready to eat? That cake we like. This is just a perfect picture. That is all. [WashEx]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I've always wanted to walk up to Obama and say "Dude! You holding?"

    • Generation[redacted]

      Holding? William Holden? Did Holden Caufield come to the party?

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Now Erik's the Holder.

        • Generation[redacted]

          Did Gandalf bring his Bag of Holding?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Call feel? Man, is she a hooker?

    • sullivanst

      Holding? No, not nearly as scary as Whispering Death

  • Estproph

    Hey! Whose lawn are those damn kids on?!

  • http://wonkette.com Chill_Bill

    The Audacity of Dope.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyRadio

      I just broke into a soft-shoe upon reading that, with a tip of the hat in your direction (all virtual, of course, of course…)

      • http://wonkette.com Chill_Bill

        Thanks, Radio! (takes a bow)

  • noodlesalad

    Clearly, these people are all too skinny to be Americans.

    In all seriousness, I want to go to there. Too fun.

    • TheJasonAlexanderFanClub

      They're not American, they're Hawaiian. Kamehameha will rise again!

  • Hera Sent Me

    This is a photo of the meeting where it was decided Barack would be president one day.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Is that grinning idiot Saul Alinsky???

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Always wondered what they grew there at the Bohemian Grove.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Fat, saggy naked guys mainly, if the stories are true.

    • Hera Sent Me

      An excerpt from the minutes follows:

      Commie Wastoid 1: You know what would be totally awesome? If one of us became president one day.

      Commie Wastoid 2: Man, that would be primo bitchin'. Which one of us should it be?

      Commie Wastoid 3: Don't look at me man. I plan to destroy my mind with LSD in a couple months.

      Commie Wastoid 1: Yeah, well I'll be living on a commune in California.

      Commie Wastoid 2: Hey, Barry is passed out. I nominate him.

      Commie Wastoid 4: I, like, second that.

      Commie Wastoid 1: All in favor, make a peace sign.

      Commie Wastoid 5: Looks like it's totally unanimous.

      Commie Wastoid 1: Like, wake up Barry and tell him.

      Commie Wastoid 3: Wake up dude, you're like totally going to be president.

      Barry: Of Pakistan?

      Commie Wastoid 3: No dude, of America.

      Barry: Almost as good.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Aw, man! Dammit!

        • sullivanst

          You gotta be quick around these parts, doncha?

    • http://wonkette.com Chill_Bill

      That was back in kindergarten. In this picture, he's picking his cabinet members.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Well, I give all of them a lot of credit for realizing he could no longer be a Supreme Court Justice.

  • Baconzgood

    "total absorption"? We knew it as submarining or fish bowling.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Carful of pot smoke? We called it "any winter evening"

      • Baconzgood

        You gotta crack those windows. If you get pulled over…well you get the picture.

        Trust me. Lessons learned hardest are learned best.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Oh, you were moving?

          Well, I mean so were we but it was more flying than driving…

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Hey man, Barack's not here.

    • ElPinche

      Probably because he's too busy bonin'

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Man we had shitty cameras back then.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      that picture was taken a week ago with instagram

      • skaboy.net

        I was thinking the same thing! It's absolutely amazing we go from no camera phones, to crappy ones, all the way to 10 MP camera phones just to make our pictures look like 1955 all over again. Why!!!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If that picture was taken in Hawaii, you know they had some good shit.

  • harriedhubby

    Oh SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS! They have CAKE! How did this get past BREITBART??? CAKE! They want to rub CAKE all over the constitution! CAKE! Everyone lock and load and be on the lookout for CAKE!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I'll bet if you look beneath the icing, it's yellow cake.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Someone! Leave the cake out in the rain!

      • freddymcmurray

        or red

    • bonghitforjesus

      The cake is a lie!

    • DahBoner

      We need more movies about cake.

  • harriedhubby

    When you look at the dufus who posted this original item on the Washington Examiner, you come away with the thought that the brother needs to either hit a spliff, take a dump, get laid, or all three.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I was just thinking he looks upset he missed the party.

      "Chooming? Aw, man, that's another thing Mom did that I haven't! My mom is cooler than I'll ever be!"

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    A choice between a member of a multi-ethnic bunch of laid back tokers or an uptiight leader of a crew that assaults gay fellow students.

    Seems pretty clear.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Simultaneously. He could ask Senator Vitter for a few phone numbers.

  • Baconzgood

    Those are some tight ass short shorts.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      When I was a lad, they weren't shorts if your nutsack wasn't poking out the bottom

      • Baconzgood

        I was a lad then too. This is why you never see me in shorts unless swimming or biking.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I miss the tight ass short shorts. On chicks. Hot pants. Yum.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            On a bike…

            BRB

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
          • ph7

            Those were the days of miracles and wonders.

          • Tundra Grifter

            Sizzlers!

            [Not the restaurants you dumb ass kidz!]

      • SoBeach

        Still remember my OP corduroy surfer shorts. With the 28 inch waist. Looooooong time ago, man.

        And everyone had that same Scott Baio, parted in the middle hair…

        • scvirginia

          You sure Scott Baio isn't in that photo?

        • Tundra Grifter

          SoBeach:

          Slax with a 28" waist, bell bottoms, and no outside seams.

          My mother-in-law had a 70's party and I told one of the guys there "cool pants!"

          My mother-in-law said "Those used to be yours."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, he's the "tokin' black" of the Choom Gang?

    • freddymcmurray

      you magnificent bastard.genius.

    • TheJasonAlexanderFanClub

      Awwww shucky ducky.

  • Beowoof

    I don't know about you, but I would not want the guy who never tried weed in high school or college to be my president. At least be cool enough to have given something different a try.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Also pictured (2nd from left): future candidate of the Slightly Silly Party Kevin Phillips-Bong.

  • Schmannnity

    Those Kenyans have awfully light complexions.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    "So dude, man, you know what would be really cool, man? *sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssmf* I was thinking, man, it would be really cool if Barack here was, like, you know, our first negro President man, cuz then the nation would finally be, like, equal and racism wouldn't exist anymore and we'd all join hands and live in peace and harmony, man.

    DOOD! Why you intercept?????"

    • UW8316154

      *ssssssssssssssssssssssssf* "…..you fucker, Barack!!………..anyway…….couldn't you just see our man here, ya know, gettin inta Harvard or sumpin like that?"

  • Come here a minute

    Hawaii? Those thugs look one hundred percent like Kenyans.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Say, what "high" school is that?

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Looks like a picture of dudes from my high school yearbook, The Towpath. except nobody every baked us cakes.

    • chascates

      Because they were too baked themselves!

    • scvirginia

      Because y'all were all tow-heads?

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        No, because we live along the Erie Canal and barges moved down the canal because they were dragged by mules that walked along a towpath.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

          Uh, when were you in high school??

  • Generation[redacted]

    When I look at that picture, why do I hear the first few bars of Aerosmith's Sweet Emotion?

  • chascates

    "Dave's not here!"

    • ph7

      I'm glad I get this joke.

    • Tundra Grifter

      JINX!

      Sorry – Chow Yun Flat beat ya to it. Please see above.

      • chascates

        See, I searched for 'Dave' to see if anyone had posted that and figured I was safe.
        MUST. READ. COMMENTS. BEFORE. STICKING. FOOT. IN. MOUTH.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Michelle Obama, man, and everyday Barack would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      Mitt's going to cut the shit out of Mitch Kramer's hair. Bank on it.

    • Tundra Grifter

      BTF:

      I think Michelle is the girlfriend who didn't put up with that shit and got Barry back to Barack.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Nah, he started using Barack at Occidental, because chicks digged it. He got clean towards the end of his time there and then was basically a library haunting nerd through law school, when he met Michelle on a summer job. No way choom club Barry scores a fine, upstanding woman like Michelle – that took Barack.

        • Tundra Grifter

          BB:

          I think we're on the same page. BTF's vision was a nice one – but reality distorts it a bit.

    • doloras

      Did you ever look at the back of a dollar bill? Man, there's some freaky shit goin' on there.

  • Sparky McGruff

    I can't wait to go to the Examiner website to read the racist comments.

    • ElPinche

      I left a poop for them. They need a little bit of weed in their sad lives.

    • UW8316154

      Here's an eloquent example from Harold Herrington:

      President ["POT HEAD"] Now Ain't You So Proud,You Voted For This Fraud,Birth Certificate,False Draft Form,Stolen Social Security Number,No Clooege Degrees To Show,Law License Revolked For Fraud Application.Can't Get Security Clearance Yet You Gave Him The Keys To Our Country.What A Bunch Of No Lives You Are,Leftist Loons!

      heh. I knew that clooege degree I earned wasn't worth shit in Amercia.

      • Sparky McGruff

        You have to admit, capitalizing every word is a nice touch. I think it really "classes up the joint"…

        But then again, I have too many clooege degrees.

  • ph7

    Life is unfair. My stoner friends looked just like that in 1979, but none of us became President of the United States. Maybe the Paraquat stunted us.

  • not that Radio

    You know what I like to munch when I'm all baked? Fido.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Don't bogart that joint, my friend. Pass it over to me, again.

    I feel like a number.

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    Mitt's boner for cutting the hair of unwilling participants just ripped the seam in his magic underwear. Get Mittens his Clippers!!1!!

  • Halloween Jack

    That one dude is totally flashing a Vulcan gang sign. Darrel Issa needs to hold another hearing!

    • Guppy

      There are only so many days in a week for Issa to hold his lectures hearings!

    • MosesInvests

      Trek yo'self before you wreck yo'self.

  • elburritodeluxe

    This is the shittiest Islamo-Fascist Madrassa EVER! Where are your long beards? Where are your AK-47s?

  • ElPinche

    Mitt has a similar picture of his days at University of Moroni, except it looks like a funeral with gold bullion and butlers.

  • Antispandex

    Must be stoned if they're going to eat all of that cake. What is the current statute of limitations on being hign, and eating cake?

  • Tundra Grifter

    The theme is already up here, in more sublte tones, but I really would like to compare that photo to the one of (r)Money holding a kid down and cutting his hair.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      There's a photo of that?

      • Tundra Grifter

        CK:

        Unfortunately, I very much doubt there is.

        But we can always hope…

  • DahBoner

    Where's the hot straight-haired chicks from The 70's Show????

  • ElPinche

    Mittens: "Let them eat!"
    Obama's notorious choom gang: "OK!! "

  • SayItWithWookies

    Remember those days in high school when it was late spring and the world was lush, warm and beautiful and you used to hang around with your friends thinking about the future and wonder if you'd be famous or significant or accomplish something great? That takes me back. And it's nice to know that future happens to somebody, even if it's not quite the way he imagined it.

    I'll bet Mitt's got memories like that too — rolling down the assembly line, the QA testing, being taken out of the bubble wrap for the first time…

    • savethispatient

      OMG, we need to scour YouTube for the "MittBott 3000 unboxing video". It'll be the dullest video known to man.

    • bonghitforjesus

      The video of Mitt learning to sing "Daisy" is super cute tho.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Guess why nobody's holding dollar bills?

  • DemonicRage

    So which of these guys would the Prep School Bully target for pinning down and obligatory hair cutting?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      Do you like being called "Katie" or something?

  • notreelyhelping

    I love the idea of a sleepy-eyed, smirking Obama nodding his head to "Slow Ride." Just because. They need to work that into the campaign bio film at the convention. "Take it easy…"

  • mavenmaven

    oh, they are obviously all Asians, as they are flashing the V for the camera like Japanese girls, except for the white dude doing the vulcan salute…

    • DahBoner

      V for Vagina?

  • niblick77

    The cake reads: Welcome to America Barry!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

    These guys prolly never did anything really cool like kidnapping a girl and force-converting her to Aqua Buddha.

  • http://ergomatic.blogspot.com commiebro

    Vans. OP shorts, Hang Ten shirts. A little early for Vuarnets, that was mid '80's. Skateboard: Tracker trucks, Kryptonite wheels, Logan EarthSki deck. Or Bones/GullWings/Stacey Peralta. Bike? Mongoose or FMF. Stickers on notebook: KLOS, KMET (that's the L.A. equivalent, I dunno the radio stations in Oahu at that time). Yes, I had that haircut- Editrix, it's up to you to find a photo, I'm sure Mom has something.

  • DahBoner

    What I want to see is when Barack's father guest stars on How I Met Your Food Stamp Mother, Dude

  • Tommy1733

    Wild times in Singapore.

  • kingofmeh

    needs more maniacal grin and fake pistol under chin.

  • TribecaMike

    As always, The Washington Examiner is dazed and confused.

  • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant
  • ttommyunger

    Well that does it, I'm voting for Romney.