this week in slags

Perfect And Off-Limits Ann Romney Will Now See You Next Tuesday

Oh yeah like the Reagans right?Did you get that? We hope you got that. It is pretty subtle, we know, as we at Wonket are the souls of subtlety and modesty and also not being vulgar. What we were trying to intimate in our clever headline is that the Perfect and Off-Limits Virgin Mother Ann Romney is now just being a total cunt. Oh, did someone ask her about Michelle Obama’s fancee vacations? Sure. And what did she have to say about that?

Romney was responding to a question from WJR Detroit’s Frank Beckmann, who asked Romney if her family would be vacationing abroad as frequently as the Obamas.

“I doubt that,” Romney replied. “Our vacations and our happiness come from being with our children and our grandchildren.”

You know the Obamas: always just giving those awful Obama children the slip and leaving them down at the pub or maybe at the casino where they are spending their food stamps probably, right?

Yes, Ann Romney is the soul of jerk-off pious familial piety, unlike the Obamas who are too busy sex-orgying with the King of Spain to attend to their children.

But how is the perfect and off-limits Ann Romney more in touch with her commoner public than is Ms. Queenie Marie Antoinette Obama?

Ann Romney didn’t rule out vacationing at all, noting the Romney family has their “own places for that.”

“When we take a vacation, it’ll be with our children and grandchildren,” she repeated.

We would like to know about these (presumably private and palatial and Romney-owned) “own places for that.” But more to the point, fuck you Ann Romney, you vicious old slag. [TheHill]

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  1. nounverb911

    I bet ¥10,000 she's already planning an indoor Dressage ring for the White House.

    1. EatFrankRich

      Fact is, the Obamas have taken two overseas vacations. But Beckmann was probably thinking of all the trips they took to Hawaii (=Kenya).

  2. supernoun

    Ann Romney is equally as boring as her insipid jerk of a husband, and that is a difficult thing to achieve. Kudos to you, Ann Romney, for having the courage and bravery to be so very, very beige.

          1. MittBorg

            Let me rephrase that: Most STRAIGHT men wouldn't know from beige etc.

            Srsly. Men tend to have a higher incidence of red/green colour blindness than women, and although there is some dispute as to exactly what they "see" when seeing either of those two shades, the general consensus is some shade of beige. Also too most straight men couldn't tell beige from ecru, eggshell, fawn, taupe, or stone. So there.

          2. Crank_Tango

            I think it's not so much that I can't tell the difference– I just don't give a shit.

          3. Dashboard_Jesus

            personally I love to see the Blah men in my neighborhood show up at social functions (ok the Dollar Store) in what looks like matching crimson silk (polyester?) pajama tops & bottoms (damn I did it again)…this sorta 'fashion sense' always leaves me speechless

          4. MittBorg

            Personally, I like to see folks heading to Church on Sundays. The ladies in their hats, the gentlemen in the most impeccably shined shoes and who would ever think of wearing a charcoal shirt with a camel jacket and black tie? They look fabulous, and they feel joyous, and their style reflects it. I am very fortunate to live in an area where I get to see people — Black people — of every age and region, and they sure do like to flaunt their style out here. Come by sometime and check out the scene.

          5. Dashboard_Jesus

            well I happen to live in the most 'urban' part of my Midwestern metropolis (ok it's Indiana) and my Congressman is even a liberal Blah Muslin- more liberal than even our Blah Prezdent- but I do NOT do 'Church' of any kind…too many years of Catholic BS, plus I was an alter boy, so I'm scarred for life (thanks Father Pat!) I do however see some of 'those folks' headin' to the soul food cafe on Sunday afternoon in their finest

          6. MittBorg

            Oh, sweetie, you don't have to GO to church to see the ladies high-steppin' it to church! Hell, I haven't seen the inside of a church for at least a decade.

          7. Dashboard_Jesus

            well I can certainly tell you this 'straight' man know beige from taupe any day. of the…oops, damn

          8. Dashboard_Jesus

            hey I'll have you know I am VERY beige (a very, very, very pale shade of beige…ok maybe eggshell is more like it?)

          9. Spurning Beer

            When my daughter was a toddler and learning her colors, we taught her that the color of her skin was "beige."

            We also taught her to sing the first few bars of "Misty."

          10. MittBorg

            In many different cultures, people have names for the colour of their skin. In my culture, my colour is "dirty." In Malay or Indonesian, it's "sweet black."

            I like sweet black better.

          11. Extemporanus

            This straight man happens to be so well-acquainted with beige that it forced him to quit his joyless job as an interior designer for very wealthy, very boring SF scions. Seriously, my firm's office was literally 50 shades of beige, with my soul about to become 51.

            Oh yeah, one other thing: I didn't get a chance to thank you for wishing me well after my Thelma & Louise near-reenactment, AND for your many complimentary comments in the Dubya portrait Photoshop thread. ("Life" — shoulder surgery to repair the damage I did wrestling with my steering wheel; a broken hand courtesy of a failed phone-snatcher's face a few days later; etc. — intervened.)


          12. MittBorg

            Hey-o! I'm glad you quit, then. Although I hope you're not like so many of the painfully unemployed, i.e., hurting.

            And speaking of hurting! Well wishes on the hurts, may you mend soon and continue to delight all with your witty keyboarding fingers. J_W (or is it DesignerRants?) announced a plan to preserve your masterpiece for our continued edification, my friend.

            Thank you also for the courtesy of your reply and your many other courtesies.

      1. jqheywood

        There are not enough upfists in the world… have absolutely nailed the Romney Campaign slogan. I will be stealing, er, borrowing, yes, borrowing this liberally!

      1. sullivanst

        Well, Mitt does have that tiny, tiny hint, what with being a Mexican citizen and all.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      When a woman makes snide comments about the family having their "own places" for vacations, there's really no need to mention it, is there? She scores a perfect 10 on the clueless statement scale with that gem. Mitt must be so proud.

  3. Dr. Nick Riviera

    See, they're going to places they have roots in, unlike the Obamas who always want to go that foreign and exotic land "Hawaii".

      1. vtxmcrider

        They aren't sure. It is a toss up between that and the new Kolob Theme Park in Salt Lake City.

    1. Veritas78

      Plural. She owns twenty-four — one for every night of the Mormon month.

      Our very own Catherine the Great.

        1. Veritas78

          I heard that was how many they had when they lived here in Belmont. They may have had a few shot since then, but I wouldn't want to speculate.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        I think she got into horses because they're too big for Mitt to strap to the roof.

  4. SayItWithWookies

    If she's vacationing with their children and grandchildren, then of course it'll be abroad — all those Georges and Abrahams and Ulysses in Switzerland and the Cayman Islands are as much their children as their more carbon-based offspring.

    1. AncienReggie

      Right. They'll go to the Caymans or Switzerland so they can visit their offshore accounts.

  5. Limeylizzie

    POTUS hasn't taken ANY vacations abroad, other than state trips, is she thinking of Hawaii as "foreign"? What a stuck-up cunt.

  6. savethispatient

    The real question here is: What did the Romney children and grandchildren do that means they're not allowed to leave the country?

    1. flamingpdog

      It's difficult now for Cheney and Rumsfeld to leave the country because they tortured Iraqi citizen for the first 8 years of the decade. The Romneys have been torturing the American people for longer than that now.

    2. Dashboard_Jesus

      they were born in Mexico? (very prematurely of course, them Mormons like to do their family planning waaay in advance) …and anchor babies, also too

  7. rocktonsam

    every boring pot must have a boring lid. these two will bring back the days of Ike and whatsherface.

  8. Gopherit

    Taking your whole family with you, huh, Ann? I guess they'll all fit on AF1 along with the massive security detail and other functionaries. Don't forget the piggly Wiggly bags filled with your clothes.

      1. Gopherit

        He's already getting a trip to London. I hope they don't have to hose the plane off/out.

      2. sullivanst

        And her other dressage horse and her other dressage horse and her other dressage horse.

        1. MittBorg

          She has publicly admitted to having multiple dressage horses, and said that even her own husband doesn't know how many horses she owns. Each of those horses can easily cost $100,000. And her fucking horses have the kind of health care we all wish we had.

          1. MittBorg

            I have a friend who's been in a wheelchair for over a decade now because of MS — mainly because she had to lose all her money before public health benefits would kick in. Boy, those were fun days, figuring out whether she should pay for food or medicine, I'll tell ya! Bet Ann never had to make those choices.

          2. BerkeleyBear

            Hippotherapy (or equine therapy) does have some evidence of assistance for conditions like MS, autism,etc. (although separating out placebo and psychic effects from actual therapeutic benefits is hard). But it is the ultimate irony (to me, at least) that at the same time she praises it, and throws hundreds of thousands if not millions at it, neither she nor her husband seem to be aware it is precisely this sort of therapy that most people have no hope of accessing under the "free market" insurance regime. Almost no plans cover it, a lot of people don't even live where they can get to it. I would have thought personal experience would teach them some tiny measure of compassion for the great majority of Americans.

            I was wrong.

          3. Chet Kincaid

            Yeah, a politician's wife with a clue would set up a foundation that gives ordinary people with MS a chance to experience hippo therapy at one of her many mansions. What's it say about Ann Romney that she is too self-absorbed to even think of taking such obvious cover?

          4. sullivanst

            It's hard to put yourself in the mindset of a borderline* sociopath when you're a normal, caring, compassionate human being.

            * benefit of whatever doubt may exist.

          5. Biff

            Been OK, thanks. Busy as hell, then took another week off for a bluegrass festival in SoCal. What's this I hear about you having a bum flipper?

          6. MittBorg

            Ripped it getting the property up to code for fire inspection. Too many goddamn weeds.

            Didja have a good time at the festival? Who was performing?

          7. Biff

            Damn, hire a gardener! Or are you planning on running for office, for Pete's sake?Awesome festival, really. My faves were Dry Branch Fire Squad (been a fan of their frontman Ron Thomasson for years) and the band that allows Steve Martin to sometimes play with them, the Steep Canyon Rangers. They are very subdued so as not to upstage Martin, but without him they flat smoke! See the rest of the lineup at I try to get there every year…

          8. MittBorg

            It's not that easy *getting* someone willing to balance on a 60-degree slope while weeding. But you're right, the time has come.

            Cool beans, man, thanks for the music recoms! Welcome back!

  9. nounverb911

    “Our vacations and our happiness come from being with our children and our grandchildren.”
    Back on grandpa's compound in Mexico?

  10. Doktor Zoom

    Mistress Romney thinks it unseemly that the Obamas show such disdain for the lifestyles of ordinary middle-class Americans like herself.

  11. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Ann Romney didn’t rule out vacationing at all, noting the Romney family has their “own places for that.”

    And that place is called Fiji.

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      "…own places for that."

      She's just as goddamned clueless as her robot hubs about knowing NOT what to say publicly, isn't she?

  12. BloviateMe

    These two are really trying to live up to the image set by Joseph Smith.

    Well played, Romneys. Well played.

    1. not that Radio

      Considering that Joseph Smith funded the early Mormon church with the proceeds from bank fraud and real estate swindling, I'd say they're at least halfway there.

  13. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, they have finally implanted a Certified Mitt Chip into his wife's brain, so that all she will be able to do for the rest of the campaign is repeat the same five lines over and over again.

    Which, in the end, makes her the perfect Republican wife.

      1. MittBorg

        How did the Republicans go from being proud of being thrifty and hardworking to the unmitigated greedbags that they are today?

  14. YouBetcha

    Michelle Obama has more class, intelligence, decency, and sex appeal in her pinky finger than this bitch could ever dream to have. Go pay for another dressage horse, sweetheart. It'll fill that big empty hole.

  15. OkieDokieDog

    Poor Ann. A busy stay-at-home Mom, driving 2 Cadillacs, dressing up her horsey for the London Olympics, converting her dead Daddy to a Mormon. My, how does she do it all?

    1. Rotundo_

      She delegates that sort of thing to her personal assistants Nounverb911 has the formal name for them just above…

    2. chicken_thief

      And she still finds time to document the expenses for the horse so Mittens can write it off the taxes!

      1. sullivanst

        "And she still finds time to tell the accountant to document the expenses for the horses so Mittens can write it off the taxes."

        FIFY ;)

  16. Generation[redacted]

    They'll be taking road trips, and when Mitt drives around the parking lot he lets the kids honk the horn.

  17. Fairtackle

    Well given that Mitt stops being stiff whenever you unzip him, it is not terribly surprising that she is a bit snippy. A bit envious also too?

    1. Veritas78

      At the debates she'll get to sit next to Michelle. Ann can't wait to ask what it's like to be fucked by a real man, who isn't wearing funny underwear and murmuring "Oh, Ward, I'm worried about the Beaver!"

  18. edgydrifter

    Everything Ann Romney says makes perfect sense if you just add "in the Cayman Islands" to the end of it.

    1. Fairtackle

      Good lord, it's true!

      A light heart carries you through all the hard times.
      “Welcome” is a powerful word.
      A fresh start will put you on your way.
      A friend is a present you give yourself.
      A pleasant surprise is waiting for you

  19. ttommyunger

    Poor woman will probably die never realizing the sweaty, grunting sheet-ripping joy of a big O complete with water-works. I'm pretty sure Mittens has never delivered such; in fact, if he were to read this he wouldn't know what I was referring to, I'm sure.

    1. Rotundo_

      He would probably wonder what Oprah and a water park have to do with sweating and grunting while you rip sheets. Sweating is something the help does, and you just don't go around shredding Egyptian Cotton on a whim…

    2. Fairtackle

      My guess is that he just shouts "Forgive me Lord!" then rolls over and falls asleep.

      1. ttommyunger

        Should be asking her forgiveness for passing off two humps and a squirt as a fucking.Sent from my iPhone

    3. coolhandnuke

      It might just be Mormon lore, but I heard that Mittens had his wang surgically altered to resemble an apple so his old gray nag would allow him in her stable.

  20. Pithaughn

    I get it that there is an election coming up, but do they have to go straight to the meanest, most disrespectful comment every single chance they get? I realize there is a 20 -33 percent swath of the population that is just aching to kick those darkies out of the WH, but are'nt most people kind of hoping that the next first lady will be at least half as charming as our current?

    1. chascates

      If Romney wins Ann will doubtless start a national campaign to improve the diet of dressage horses.

    2. rickmaci

      "I realize there is a 20 -33 percent swath of the population that is just aching to kick those darkies out of the WH…"

      Try 49-49.99%

  21. Goonemeritus

    Only 5 more months and she will have a totally clear calendar. I sincerely wish her a long and happy life and many carefree years to enjoy her family.

      1. Goonemeritus

        I think we can all agree with the great American Barry Goldwater that demonization of political spouses is shameful. That said I only want her to enter the Whitehouse as a visitor.

        1. MittBorg

          You're a better man than I, Goonemeritus. I find this woman and her husband utterly repulsive, and although I do not wish any ill on them, I fervently hope with all my heart that neither of them ever steps into the White House for any reason whatsoever.

          1. Goonemeritus

            I’m a better man than very few, more than a little of my career was spent in mergers & acquisitions and I moved more than my share of jobs to China. If I ever ran for President I don’t think I would vote for me.

          2. fuflans

            i didn't used to. i really thought i'd be so terribly sad (and drunk) about a barry loss but could live with a country club republican (i grew up in said type family).

            but no. now he fries my very very last nerve.

            something about assuming that 'R' mantle immediately makes you untalented, hypocritical, ideologically inconsistent, morally bankrupt and…

            sorry, BUTTSECKS!!!!


          3. MittBorg

            Yeah, I actually liked the guy once back when he was a guv. He seemed like a reasonable human being. He's turned into the most cynical and calculating of bots, and I've grown to despise him as he keeps slipping the mask to reveal the LizzurdPeepl beneath.

  22. Dr. Nick Riviera

    I love the spin that it's going to be so cheap because they just want to spend time with the family. The thing that costs money is all the secret service required to protect the president and his family from nutbag teabaggers. Are the Romneys going to forgo that? Since they have secret service NOW, I think not.

  23. LetUsBray

    The difference between Stay-at-home(s) Ann and Grifterella from Wasilla is that the former is much subtler in her mean-girl snottiness.

    1. Negropolis

      Ann is a lady, after all. Daddy (who was basically an atheist for what it's worth) didn't send Ann Davies to Cranbrook for nothin'. You see, it is only polite to talk about the Obamas among friends in quiet rooms….

  24. emmelemm

    Stop the planet, I want to get off. Is there NO END to the bottomless pit of accusations that can be levied against the President and his family?

    1. glamourdammerung

      I am burned out on the conspiracytard nonsense myself. Especially since I just know it is only going to get more ridiculous. And then there is going to be the upswing in domestic terrorism if the Republicans lose just like there was in 2009.


  25. glamourdammerung

    I wonder how many vacations President Romney would take to baptize dead people?

    1. Ducksworthy

      Well…they do have to be dead first so if I was an Iranian I'd watch out for Mittmageddon.

      1. glamourdammerung

        Romney invested enough with oil companies doing business there that I doubt that is an issue.

  26. sullivanst

    To be fair, if you were married to someone you wanted to unzip so the world could see he wasn't at all stiff, you'd probably be a bitter old hag by 63 as well.

  27. Dashboard Buddha

    and happiness from writing off 77 large on your taxes for a fucking horse. Don't forget that happiness.

  28. lizcharm

    Seriously, it doesn't even sound like she knew he was talking about. The Obamas = Barack, Michelle and THEIR CHILDREN. Who they take with them when they travel. She sounds like she was one step away from asking, "Uh, who?"

    1. sullivanst

      In fact the only reason the filthy hacks have the balls to call any of Obama's foreign trips "vacations" is because Michelle and the girls were there. He has never gone abroad without it being an official trip.

      The destinations of his actual vacations have been Martha's Vineyard, Yellowstone/Grand Canyon, Hawaii, Maine, and Panama City, plus short breaks in Chicago, Vail and Aspen.

      The rest is pure slimejob. And if it sounds like a lot of destinations, maybe, but over his first 31 months in office, Obama took only one third as much vacation time as W, and just over half as much as Reagan.

      Plus, Mrs. Romney should be reminded that in his last year in office as Governor, Mitt Romney spend 212 days out of state. Two hundred and twelve!

          1. MittBorg

            My wing is in so much pain, toots. I've gotta figure out a better way to handle this business. The day was spent lazing, I mean reading and tormenting the cats who have grown quite fond of their eccentric human parent. They actually WANT me to pull their hair, ears, and tails.

            And you, sugar? How's tings?

    1. starfanglednut

      There was a lot of anger in MA when he was running for governor. He actually had to show up six months before the campaign, and make sure he stayed in his Belmont mansion for 6 months to qualify as a MA resident so he could run. He never gave the tiniest shit about this state. It was a calculated stepping stone in his presidential aspirations from the start. As sully says, he was away from Ma 212 days out of his last year in office, laying the ground for a presidential campaign on the MA taxpayers dime. Fuck him. I hated him before it was cool.

          1. Geminisunmars

            I admit I don't really know the history of Romneycare. Are you saying that Romney vetoed the program 8 times before it finally passed? In my vague and uninformed way I was always under the impression that he helped to shape it and usher it in.

            (But I'm still glad that Veritas78's life was saved by Romneycare.)

          2. sullivanst

            MA Gov has the line-item veto, so he vetoed 8 parts of it, all of which were overturned.

            The latest installment of Chronicling Mitt's Mendacity (volume 22!!!) has a link to a WaPo fact-check wherein they point out that Romney's claim that his Massachusetts record shows he led the legislature to bipartisan agreement is basically entirely false. He issued 800 vetoes, 700 of which were overturned by the Democratic supermajority in the legislature, including 8 Romneycare-related strikes.

            Really Romneycare happened as much despite him as because of him, but he likes to claim credit because otherwise the only other thing of any note in his term is the shitty job numbers that he invents absurd standards to try to disguise.

          3. Geminisunmars

            Thank you, Sulli, for taking the time to explain. I appreciate the education. I will certainly now have to reconsider my support of Mitt. (as if)

      1. Veritas78

        Remember during his last year when he was on the campaign trail and trashing us while he was still governor?

        Collecting our paycheck and crapping in our mouths. Not many MA friends here, my friend.

      2. Negropolis

        I just wonder how he calculated that running for governor of the alleged most liberal state in the nation would be a good jump to the Republican nomination for presidency? Surely, few mainstream Republicans could see how far right the party was tracking and especially how quickly it would track that way, but the party was already crazy before Romney hit the governor's mansion. You'd have thought he'd run for governor or Michigan or something. I know he wanted to show himself "going into the lion's den", but MA was probably not the smartest move for him.

        Not that I'm complaining, but his political instincts seem like shit, mostly. I see that he made the calculation that it'd be adventageous to run against a black president in a nation which seems to have lost it gd mind. I think he's miscalculated (as usual) how unlikeable and/or fake he is.

        1. Chet Kincaid

          Yep, he's a lousy Presidential politician. But who else have they got right now, given the corner they've boxed themselves into? I thought for sure that Rick Perry's stupidity would have actually earned him the nomination, but they are caught between crazy, stupid and canny, and ended up with Mitt.

        2. sullivanst

          To be fair to him, it worked out. Admittedly, it was dumb fucking luck that a black guy won in '08 so he'd have the wingnuts all confused in the realization that noone they actually liked could possibly achieve their main goal of kicking the uppity nigra outta the Whites Only House. But once that happened, his "hey look, I won in a blue state, I'm the electable guy" schtick worked, albeit in large part due to the fact that he was running against a league of morons.

          1. Negropolis

            In my mind, his run for governor of MA only works if it culiminates into a win for the presidency. That's the only reason he ran for governor of MA was to be president; he didn't run to be the nominee for president.

            It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, I guess it was his only shot seeing as how there is no way in hell he could have ran for governor of a red state and won, but it shows just how much he's not presidential material.

  29. rocktonsam

    its hard to imagine these two even having sex, mutual masturbation, but not sex.

    the porn industry will take a pass at even a lame attempt at a Nailin Pailn version of these two boring bot-tards

  30. Generation[redacted]

    Once Mittens becomes President, Republicans will suddenly discover that the First Family needs a large number of exotic vacations to relax from the stress of the job.

  31. lisawines

    I can't wait to hear Rebecca's nonpology for calling that poor, defenseless horsewoman a slag and cuntsuch. And I hope Rebecca gets to be on TeeVee to make her nonpology.

      1. sullivanst

        "I'm sorry you were such a cunt I had to point it out, and I'm sorry you were offended by what you saw in the mirror"

      2. lisawines

        An_Outhouse – I was deeply, deeply offended… by Madame Romney. If she makes it to the White House, she'll probably call the press and bring in imprisoned undocumented Mexican children and make them dig up Michel Obama's vegetable garden and then turn it into a stable for her horses.

  32. sullivanst

    They'll take nice, domestic vacations in France, like always.

    Y'see, France must be a non-overseas vacay because the people there are white, unlike Hawaii.

  33. Dashboard Buddha

    Yeah…family vacations must be a real hoot at the Rmoney manse.

    Son: Hey dad…remember when you tied the dog to the roof of the car?

    Mitt: [laughing] boy do I ever. Say…whatever happened to that fish of yours?

    Son: Oh, it survived the trip well enough, but when we got to our destination it became inconvenient so I curbed it.

    Mitt: Good call. If it wasn't able to evolve enough during the trip so that it could pull itself up by its own bootstraps, there was nothing you can do.

    Son: Uh, dad…did you just say 'evolve'?

    Mitt: Don't worry boy…I'm just practicing to fool the liberals.

    Son: Hah! We'll it worked for Massachusetts!

    :::clink of lemonade glasses:::

  34. Slim_Pickins

    I thought Hawaii was only a foreign country if you're blah. But the Mormons go on missions there so it must be foreign.

  35. arihaya

    also how dare Obummerz goes to foreign country every winter?!!

    He always spend Xmas in Hawaii !!!

    1. Buckminster

      She's got that privileged, sociopath nonsense down, just like her idiot husband. Forget them.

    2. dennis1943

      She gives me the "willies"………..from the beginning she has been the perfect mercenary………even giving up dad……….

  36. Slim_Pickins

    You don't have to go anywhere when you have several homes that are the size of Rhode Island.

  37. BarackMyWorld

    Perfect And Off-Limits Ann Romney Will Now See You Next Tuesday

    I C what U did there.

      1. Veritas78

        Clearly, that must be the white part. A finer argument for miscegenation you couldn't find… oh, wait.

      2. Chet Kincaid

        The whole "first time I am proud of my country" was borderline, if you're a bigot. Just like saying "God damn America" is OK if you're condemning Gays, but an electric-chair offense if you're a swaggering black preacher.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Very true. I hadn't even made that connection, but it's dead on. Wright says "The chickens have come home to roost" in connection with 9-11 and it gets repeated 24/7 on Fox news, scandal of the age.

          Meanwhile, Jerry Falwell says right after 9-11, on Pat Robertson's show, with Robertson agreeing, "we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be miniscule if, in fact–if, in fact–God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve*." Well, Mitt Romney makes a pilgrimage to the late spiritual inspiration Falwell's "University" to make the commencement speech and suck up to the fundies.

          I wonder what could explain these wildly different reactions?

          *[Combined with other occasions when Falwell/Robertson have referred to "God withdrawing his hand of protection" I assume that this is an allusion to Lamentations 2:3. Doesn't make it any better in my opinion.]

    1. cognachas4paws

      Her and the President have managed, somehow, someway, to keep their cool through all the insults and displays of disrespect that they've had to endure. I wonder if they just go into the China Room at the White House and start throwing dishes at the wall, just to get the anger out?

      1. MittBorg

        They're both on 24/7. You can't do stuff like that when you have house staff around all the time. Imagine the expose they could write.

  38. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Dumb diddy dumb diddy dumb Bonanza.
    Dumb diddy dumb diddy dumb diddy dumb dumb dumb.

    1. flamingpdog

      Must be one of the early episodes – looks like Hoss on the left and Adam on the right.

  39. BarackMyWorld

    It's going to be fun following these two's constant back-pedaling if Mitt does get elected. Ann on vacations and spending time with her family, and Mitt on everything he's said while running for office.

    1. sullivanst

      No, it won't.

      We'll be too busy having hobo-fights for scraps of food scavenged from garbage pails to worry about where the golden ones are vacationing this week.

      1. finallyhappy

        Mi familia estamos en Costa Rica cuando Romney es Presidente(ok,my spanish isn't very good now- but it will be)

  40. Beetagger

    These pious Latter Day Shitheads believe, truly believe, that wealth comes to those who are the most faithful. With god on their side and money in the bank, they've come to rescue America because the "constitution is hanging by a thread." Read about the "White Horse Prophecy."

    1. MittBorg

      I have. *Errybody* needs to read the fucking thing and realize that these joyless gunts are perfectly serious about this shit. Their church is an extremely wealthy corporation, accountable to no one, not even its own membership, and its leaders sincerely believe that it is their mission to ensure the enactment of the White Horse Prophecy.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Or their parents (oh wait, Granny Robinson does come along, and the rest are fucking dead). Or their friends (oh wait, they hang out with his friends in Hawaii and hers in Chicago all the time). Or or or …..

    2. Negropolis

      Yeah, Sasha and Malia are what? Like in their early teens, or something? That makes them old maids in Mormon years.

      1. freddymcmurray

        You've got the unit of measurement wrong. That unit of time is called a Palin™.

          1. freddymcmurray


            I'm sorry to have to correct you again, but the word is "rill", as in "we had a rill fun time at the new wasilla wal-mart, where you can find such amazin' dills". (and knowing walmart like i do, i honestly, truthfully could not tell you if bible spice means "deals" or "dills" [vat-o-pickles] when she says shit like this.)

  41. Guppy

    Out in Real America™ they change the locks on the front door on the kid's 18th birthday, but the Romneys vacation with their adult children?

    Ann Romney needs to vacation by her own bootstraps!

    1. Chet Kincaid

      What was the infamous cigarette campaign from the '80s that featured couples, with the men always pulling "playful" antics that were borderline BDSM and BTK? "Alive with pleasure" was the slogan, I think.

          1. not that Radio

            Google says it was John Leo, in Spy, 1988. Can't find the original, but here's an article about it:

            Could this be Catholic hack republican TownHall columnist John Leo? His bio contains no mention of his writing for Spy, but he apparently wrote for the Village Voice, NYT, and Time.

          2. Chet Kincaid

            It took me a long time to "see" what all the ladies were snickering about, regarding Joe Camel. I just had never considered Things from that perspective.

  42. Isyaignert

    I have worked with many Morons (oops, a typo) over the years and they're all 'effin' WEIRD. WEIRD. WEIRD. Being in a cult that eats your brain will do that to a person.

      1. Isyaignert

        Nevah bettah – thanks for asking! Gonna try and make the Wonketeer drinky thingy in Seattle on the 30th.

  43. barto

    I'm waiting for her mouth to go on vacation. No doubt the handlers will put the brakes on soon enough.

    1. sullivanst

      Handlers might be too busy trying (vainly) to stop Mitt showing how completely fucking clueless he is about the way the population he seeks to lead lives, to have much time to stop Ann doing the same.

  44. BlueStateLibel

    When was the last time Ann Romeny actually worked a day? 1973? How can she take a vacation if her whole life is a vacation?

    1. sullivanst

      Basically never. She married Mitt while still at college, and her graduation was long delayed because she (A) followed him from BYU to Boston, and (B) started assembling Mittbotlets.

  45. scvirginia

    Ann Romney didn’t rule out vacationing at all, noting the Romney family has their “own palaces for that.”

  46. Geminisunmars

    This is a kind of OT rant, but over the weekend there was some coverage of how she had a slight recurrence of her MS symptoms, first time in 10 years, because of the "stress". Now I'm not about to make fun of someone with a debilitating disease, but you can bet that she has round the clock therapists and best of the best medical care. Not to mention all the household help, so she has the time and health to dabble in her little hobby. I think mention of her illness was quickly suppressed, we don't want to want to associate such things with our next first couple. Snark will resume shortly.

    1. sullivanst

      "Oh! The stress! I had to ask cookie to fire the wet-nurse, we finally weaned Craig so her services are no longer required! Get me to the fainting couch!"

    2. flamingpdog

      My oldest sister has had MS for 40 years now and while she has definitely had her ups and downs, she has never gone 10 years without any symptoms. I'd sure like to see AR's medical records.

  47. fivespot

    I hope Mitt asked her with husbandly respect not to be such a "B-word," and then irrigated her colon with that substance that JB Smoove found so difficult to pronounce on Curb

  48. rickmaci

    Hey Annie. Just a word to the wise. The light you see coming up at the end of the tunnel you live in, well that is not heaven, deary. It's the Bad Karma Express and that bitch is going to crush you good.

  49. mrblifil

    She's rocking the Obama Derangement Syndrome for realz. Unlike Mittens, whose birtherism is but a poor simulacrum. I think we know who wears the strap-on in the Romney family. And possibly the person who was behind forcing the dog to ride on the roof, mayhap.

  50. Limeylizzie

    MrLimeylizzie was saying only yesterday that Ann Romney is a disaster waiting to happen. He also said that, seeing as he has this new super-duper beard trimmer, he wants to shave my ladyparts into fancy shapes whilst playing a recording of "Under Paris Skies" .

    1. James Michael Curley

      The heart shape is really tricky, but looks great. A traditional favorite is the arrow. Helps if he's blind and reads braille.

  51. owhatever

    I'm going to tear out that damned cabbage patch at the White House on our first day in office.

    1. Negropolis

      Surely, you're speaking of the watermelon patch. You are forgiven given that watermelons and cabbages look slightly similar from a great distance.

    1. sullivanst

      Unless you're black, and then your (short) trips back to Chicago are whined about as if you were spending 3 months at the Paris Ritz fellating zombie De Gaul.

  52. JackObin

    Vacationing with children and grandchildren and no booze. That is the very definition of insanity.

          1. Isyaignert

            Are we talking about Ann Rmoney or the boyfriend that Pickles Bush ran over and killed?

  53. M. Bouffant

    “I doubt that,” Romney replied. “Our vacations and our happiness come from being with our children and our grandchildren.”
    Tribal & clannish much? Can't bear to be around anyone w/o the same exact DNA?

  54. Goonemeritus

    I think what really hurts is I didn’t even get that rich doing it. For the last ten years I have rarely had to be even slightly evil but I know I will be reincarnated as a dung beetle if I’m lucky.

    1. starfanglednut

      There is a world of difference between falling into something, and then being remorseful upon realizing its full implications, and actively aspiring to evil, and then escalating ones activities in spite of their results, with no shame whatsoever. You are loved here.

    2. MittBorg

      (Hugs Goonemeritus) We've all done things we're not proud of, to some degree or another. You feel regret over what you've done, which would tend to indicate that your conscience is still alive and well.

      Perhaps a little bird, then, eh? Not a dung beetle, but perhaps a bee who gives sweet honey to all the world in expiation.

        1. MittBorg

          I think you should tell your wife that good beer is wasted on slugs. It's not like the li'l bastids can tell the difference between a good Red Tail Ale and PBR. Hell, diet beer will probly do.

          1. MittBorg

            Your wife has good taste! Also kindness of the heart. She might be drowning the li'l bastids, but they'll go happy.

            What-all is she protecting from our slimy friends there? Tomatoes?

          2. MittBorg

            Bless her little green fingers! May she bring you both the delicious bounty of the good earth!

            As god is my witness, Chet, that first tomato off the vine is heaven.

  55. extreme_left

    They don't go overseas because of their various holiday homes. Cognitive dissonance at its finest, she implies the Obama's are extravagent for taking the kids on working holidays while she is the picture of frugality by slumming it in one of their holiday mansions.

  56. sati_demise

    See that photo? Now look at the horse on the left, the one Ann is riding.

    Is that horse worth a $77,000 tax exemption (annually, for 1/3rd of a share).

    Would you rather the IRS collect that money
    or do you want to watch the Dressage competition at the Olympics?

    1. Negropolis

      "Austrian Warmblood" was the name Arnold danced under before he hit it big in bodybuilding, BTW.

      You know who else was an Austrian warmblood?

  57. Steverino247

    OT: Here's the latest results with about 2000 left to go:

    SUPERIOR COURT – Office No. 34

    GARY GEORGE KREEP 202873 50.18%

    GARLAND PEED 201415 49.82%

    With a difference of 1458 with only 2000 to go, it's statistically unlikely that Peed can prevail. There may be a recount under the circumstances, but…

    1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Unreal. Honestly, unreal. How can that goddamn fool get anywhere near election? I'm baffled.

  58. MittBorg

    Yeah. I have to go to the dr., who said if it didn't stop hurting, we should try PT. So, sometime this month, yech.

    Exercise=serotonins=not_missing_adorablegirl. Also, too, we're doing movie night and I really want to recommend Tuvalu to you if you haven't seen it. Very well done. Delightful. Happy-making, also, too.

    1. starfanglednut

      Exercise is teh bessst. I'll try the movie tonite or tomorrow (it's 10:30 here). I found physical therapy enormously helpful when I had an issue with my back, and not stressful at all. But mine was just a minor muscular thing. I don't know what's going on with your wing. I joined a bisexual group on something called meetup, so screw the adorable girl. I hope you are eating something yummy as well.

      1. MittBorg

        Dr. says it's just inflammation of the tendon due to too much stress, no actual tear or break yet. Such a cheery fellow, he is. Yay for your joinage, I expect great things. Or fun sex, anyway. And, of course, pix, etc.

        Chicken curry with squash and broccoli Very tasty.

  59. fuflans

    somewhere in a secluded anti chamber in balmoral, bessie weeps softly into a corgie's coat over those lovely tall dark people who visited once.

    – and over the parvenus with their strange god and apish manners who will soon be demanding access and recognition.

      1. Isyaignert

        No, I gotta go with Madam Killjoy on this one. A nice, dull, rusty guillotine and rotten tomatoes to throw for fun.

  60. Pat_Pending

    Cunt. Cunt-cunt-cunt. Cunt-cunt cuntiddy-cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. Fucking cunt-cunt-cunt, cunt, cunt cunt cunt. Cunt? Cunt! Cuntly cunty, cunt and also cunt. Oh, and CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT (deep breath) CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'd say more, but 'cunt' is starting to not look like a word…

  61. iburl

    Playing the grandparent card, eh?

    They are not riding English style, so I know that photo is a fake. I demand to see the long form original negatives.

  62. Negropolis

    To be fair, that question Beckmann asked was loaded as all kinds of hell, and she'd answered it in the way you'd expect someone to answer a loaded question. It was basically "when did Obama stop beating his wife" to which the answer of an opponent would be "I don't know, but Mitt never beats me." but in typical conservative fashion would add "unless I really deserve it."

  63. Negropolis

    Ann Antoinette: Let them eat Little Debbie snack cakes.

    Mmmm…Zebra cakes….mmmmm….

    Remember, black people shouldn't vacation in Martha's Vineyard and Hawaii, because, well…you know.

  64. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    A little news about our compatriot Radio.

    He's doing well and is looking forward to being back. For some reason he misses us dumb cunts.

    Hopefully you'll join me in wishing him a speedy return.

    1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Allow me to engage in a little British slang here.

      "Alright, cunt!" – my brother greeting me

      "Well, you cunted that up" – me at work describing a mistake

      "It's *always* the cunting same" – expressing dissatisfaction with the state of affairs

      "You must be some kind of fucking cunt" – I believe you to be a gent whose abilities are not congruent with our corporate culture

  65. seppdecker

    They're so repulsive when they slip up and tell the truth. Because you need me, Springfield America. Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower (Mitt's) taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king queen.

    England can keep her along with all the other dusty relics.

  66. Gr8fulDude25

    Mitt Romney doesn't have time for vacations, running for president is a full time job. In fact that's been his ONLY job for the last 6 years. Which is kind of, you know, weird.

  67. Mojopo

    Ann Romney didn’t rule out vacationing at all, noting the Romney family has their “own places for that.”

    She wants you to think she is capable of going to Wisconsin Dells and getting her weird buttcheeks all over the water slide. Because that is TOTALLY going to happen to a lady who is all dressage this, horseshit that.

  68. arihaya

    Fuck this rich people and their 6 figures pet horse.

    We need Don Corleone to give them some offers the cannot refuse.

  69. hippie13

    Hawaii is not "abroad" you fuckwit…and until Bo the dog gets $70000 a year in tax support like that slut ann's horse does she can keep her ignorant silver spoon fed mouth shut.

  70. cognachas4paws

    How out of touch can these people be? "We have places for that." Would that be the place with or without the car elevator?

  71. BaldarTFlagass

    "asked Romney if her family would be vacationing abroad as frequently as the Obamas."

    This assumes that Romney is going to win the election. Aren't we getting a little bit ahead of ourselves?

  72. BaldarTFlagass

    the Romney family has their “own places for that.”

    "And the country would be ever so much better off if the Obamas would remember their own places, if you know what I mean, and I am sure that you do."

  73. BlueStateLibel

    Here's one for you kids: Ms. Romney's tax deduction for her dressage horse ($77,000) is more than the average U.S. household's annual income:

    Who's the snobby elite now, Ms. Antoinette?

    1. MittBorg

      To be totally accurate, it's nearly TWICE what the average American family of FOUR has to live on for the year. That worthless fucking never-worked-a-day-in-her-life BITCH.

  74. SolitaireRose

    Vacationing from what, exactly? Has either of them had a job in the last 15 years?

  75. EmileZoloft

    Rudeness aside, I don't think it's appropriate to suggest that Ann Romney is a cunt. She lacks the warmth, the depth, and the charm.

    1. MittBorg

      I've always maintained that cunts are wonderful things, and she certainly doesn't deserve to be thought of as a wonderful thing, ever.

Comments are closed.