how to fix journalism

Senate Candidate Demands End To Annoying Stories About Poor Starving People

In no way do I look like a doucheWisconsin GOP Senate Candidate Eric Hovde was chattin’ up some boys at the local Chamber of Commerce when he arrived at the real problem with today’s economic reporting: can you believe all these people whining about starving to death in the recession? How is that “news”? If people want food, they should just stop being lazy and get food. Now let’s “reset” the national economic conversation back to where it belongs, castigating the public for its irrational hatred of synthetic collateralized debt obligations.

We honestly hadn’t thought there was a glut of national media stories examining hard times for the working poor following the economic collapse of the century; there’s the occasional A27 blurb that mentions mass starvation, but only as part of an argument about why capital gains should be taxed at zero percent. Yet for Hovde, the papers read like Pravda*:

During the Q&A portion of the event, Hovde expressed his support for lowering the corporate tax rate, tackling the country’s spending problems and lowering the national debt.

Then, pointing to a reporter in the audience, Hovde said he would love to see the press stop covering sad stories about low-income individuals who can’t get benefits and start covering issues like the deficit more frequently.

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“I see a reporter here,” he said. “I just pray that you start writing about these issues. I just pray. Stop always writing about, ‘Oh, the person couldn’t get, you know, their food stamps or this or that.’ You know, I saw something the other day — it’s like, another sob story, and I’m like, ‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’ That’s going to devastate everybody.”

One day, just one day maybe, we’ll see someone working at any mainstream news outlet — perhaps a reasonable centrist at the Washington Post or New York Times who misses the days of bipartisanship, of Tip and Ronnie fightin’ all day and then going out for a drink, of Newt and Bill ending welfare — advocate for lowering the corporate tax rate. But probably not in this lifetime.

[HuffPo]

* — I’m so, so sorry

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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107 comments

  1. actor212

    ‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’

    No, wait, this makes sense!

    People starve to death one at a time, but a cut in the corporate tax rate to zero affects all the rich people at the same time! That means it's bigger news!

  2. sullivanst

    Here's my review of Hovde's economic policy:

    "Zhil-bil korol kogda-to, pree nyom blokha zhila" – It stinks.

  3. Not_So_Much

    I'm sooo sick of reading this first story I've ever read about Eric Horvde, douchenozzle-at-large…

  4. noodlesalad

    Yes, keep praying about that, because, as Jesus said "Whatever you did for one of the least of these budget deficit stories, you did for me."

  5. SexySmurf

    I, for one, would like to see less stories about Syria and more stories about side boobs.

    1. Not_So_Much

      When will this fad play out and we move on to more important things? Like underboob?

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    ‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’

    Why, they're ignoring the fuck out of it, that's what.

  7. SorosBot

    Yeah, why doesn't our media waste even more time yammering about the non-issue of the deficit that they're constantly going on and on about instead of every great once in a while mentioning that class actually exists in America?

  8. Douché

    Plus we don't have enough bombs to protect ourselves from the messicans, so write about that too you 'freakin pencil jockeys. Jeeze.

    1. sewollef

      "…. pencil jockeys"

      He he. Old school.

      Everyone who works for the LSM uses crayons these days. Primary-colored crayons to boot.

  9. anniegetyerfun

    But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?

    Um, many hundreds of thousands of people can't get benefits or food stamps?

      1. anniegetyerfun

        Oh, just the job makers! Well, I hear that they are buying more Gucci and less Prada. Tragic, really.

  10. OkieDokieDog

    Everybody knows that if those poors would study the bible more, sell their blood, a kidney or a kid, whatever, and give the money to the church, then God would give them more Hobo beans.

    1. actor212

      I find your proposal, modest as it is, interesting and would like to know if there is a newsletter or perhaps a website I might subscribe to.

  11. MissTaken

    “I just pray that you start writing about these issues. I just pray. Stop always writing about, ‘Oh, the person couldn’t get, you know, their food stamps or this or that.’

    See people! The American nuns really need to STFU about the poorz because they give Hovde a case of the sadz.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      American nuns need to STFU because they are supposed to be concentrating on preventing gay marriage or feminism. That's what the Vatican says, anyway. None of this "help the needy" bullshit that these harlots have been peddling for years.

  12. randcoolcatdaddy

    "‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’ That’s going to devastate everybody.”"

    Funny … I don't remember him saying that when Shrub started two wars and gave a tax cut that bankrupted the country. Perhaps I missed that.

  13. Baconzgood

    Yeah he's right! Remember all those Sally Struthers ads on late night TV when you were busy getting drunk and watching the late movie? Or how about that depressing USA for Africa was? What did We Are the World do besides get played on the radio till I wanted to puke? And don't get me started on these new Sarah McLachlan ads with the depressing abused puppies. Fucken' A Bubba. You preach on about depressing shit being reported due to its relevance!

  14. CapnRadio

    "And, come to think of it, when is that Charles Dickens going to write a story telling the plight of the managers of debtors' prisons?!"

    1. noodlesalad

      It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. But it was best for the 1%, so that's all she wrote about that. Time to execute another poor!

  15. Goonemeritus

    Was it not Jesus who taught us that while we would always have the poor the health of the free market was on our shoulders.

    1. Antispandex

      Yes. I believe the quote is, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a poor person to enter heaven". Or words to that effect. I'm paraphrasing.

    2. rickmaci

      "Luke 16:19-25 "There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man's table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried.

      In Hell, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames.' But Abraham said, 'Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony." Which is apparently what Jesus said.

      1. Boojum

        See, so rich people are taking all the money in order to save the poor from going to Hell.

        The rich deserve a medal, they do.

  16. BloviateMe

    He's right. I was watching a documentary on the holocaust. NOT ONE freakin' smile amongst all those skinny Jews. It was exhausting to watch…I mean, lighten up you depressing bastards.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      You'd think they could look at what was happening to Germany AS A WHOLE, not just the victims, you know? Like, what was the Nazi party up to? Were they having fun? Did they go to the beach in the summer? Were they busy creating jobs? Of course they were – building ovens. These are the things that the liberal press conveniently ignored.

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And the Lord said unto them
    "Do not let yourself be troubled by the poor,
    For they are a drag on the economy,
    So fuck them.
    But do cast your thoughts upon the lowly corporation,
    Which may have to pay some taxes this year,
    Despite being job creators,
    For they are truly the most blessed in my eyes,
    And shall have mastery over the Earth
    and all of its wealth."

    First Book of Koch, Chap. 4, Verse 12-18.

  18. Extemporanus

    Can you believe all these people whining about starving to death in the recession? How is that “news”? If people want food, they should just stop being lazy and get food.

    BREAKING: "Man Bites Dog"

  19. widestanceromance

    Starving children give delicate job creators the vapors. One must always be careful so as not to alarm or annoy them. Always do their bidding without question or delay and do not even look them in the eye.

  20. Antispandex

    You may be able to get a copy, if you live somewhere like, oh, I don't know, Chicago, or some place the libraries haven't been purged, but there is this book called Hard Times, by Studs Terkel. It's about where we are headed with Mr. Hovde's kind of deep thoughts on the economy.

  21. SayItWithWookies

    During the Q&A portion of the event, Hovde expressed his support for lowering the corporate tax rate, tackling the country’s spending problems and lowering the national debt.

    Because nothing cuts the deficit like lowering taxes. Maybe if we just put a tax on shit that doesn't make any sense we could fix our fuckin' deficit problem.

      1. bonghitforjesus

        A Fassbinder robot of my very own would definitely improve my mental & physical health, fwiw.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    "If people want food, they should just stop being lazy and get food."

    Yeah, like those black looters in New Orleans after Katrina. They should have bleached their skins and gone out to "find food" instead of stealing it.

  23. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    "Stop always writing about, ‘Oh, the person couldn’t get, you know, their food stamps or this or that.’ You know, I saw something the other day — it’s like, another sob story, and I’m like…"

    Who writes his teleprompter? Sarah Palin?

    1. Baconzgood

      I hear 13 year old girls in line at the Orange Julius talk like that about Big Time Rush.

  24. Dashboard Buddha

    "‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’ That’s going to devastate everybody.”

    What's happening to the country is that more people are on food stamps than ever…and while luxuries are expensive, pitchforks and torches are not.

  25. Arken

    He's right. The media doesn't cover the plight of the rich enough. I'm going to go to TMZ or maybe People Magazine and complain about that.

  26. Come here a minute

    If there were more Washington DC cocktail parties and dinner parties then the media would finally be fixed again.

  27. Estproph

    ‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’

    Yeah, and what about all of the country? And the entire country? And the country too, also?

  28. Gopherit

    Spoken like a man who plans to suckle off the government teat for the rest of his life. Hypocrisy, thy name is tea Party.

  29. TootsStansbury

    I think he meant this country as a hole. As in smoking crater; these fuckers aren't going to stop until they've wrecked everything.

  30. DahBoner

    If these bald-headed cueballs want to get a job, they should, like grow their hair down to their knees.

    Don't, uh, get a haircut, hippies!!!

  31. elviouslyqueer

    Somebody should tell Paul Ryan's boyfriend to STFU and go back to what he does best. Which is to say, fellating Paul Ryan.

  32. MinAgain

    Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man an smug, overfed Republican assHovde , and he'll eat for a week.

  33. notreelyhelping

    That's the problem with dead children in the street: if you don't step over them, you might trip and hurt yourself. Let's try to maintain perspective here.

  34. bonghitforjesus

    “I see a reporter here,” he said. “I just pray that you start writing about these issues."

    Um, praying to a reporter? Really? This guy is a Darwin Award waiting to happen…

  35. ttommyunger

    Yes, brother, and I pray you will get a flat tire in Watts one fine Saturday night around midnight.

  36. chascates

    It's like all those people who are starving in Africa: they live where there isn't any food! If they just had the gumption to get up and move to some place that has food, say Iowa, they wouldn't be starving!!!

    1. not that Radio

      Real Americans® throw away more food than those people eat! Get with the program, Africans!

  37. Boojum

    I would like to see a "walk through rich neighborhood day" celebration. Not an organized march or anything. Just a stroll, at dusk, with a few hundred of your closest friends, along the tree lined streets of your average rich, white, over privileged boulevard.

  38. Warpde

    Bloody Poor's.
    Always using their high ranking social status to hog all the headlines.
    Wish I could be poor so I could get that kind of attention.

  39. scorpy1

    Somehow, I figured his commercials glorifying the money his father made (a la Bobby Newport) was going to lead us here.

Comments are closed.