HOW TO FIX JOURNALISM  3:45 pm June 18, 2012

Senate Candidate Demands End To Annoying Stories About Poor Starving People

by Jim Newell

In no way do I look like a doucheWisconsin GOP Senate Candidate Eric Hovde was chattin’ up some boys at the local Chamber of Commerce when he arrived at the real problem with today’s economic reporting: can you believe all these people whining about starving to death in the recession? How is that “news”? If people want food, they should just stop being lazy and get food. Now let’s “reset” the national economic conversation back to where it belongs, castigating the public for its irrational hatred of synthetic collateralized debt obligations.

We honestly hadn’t thought there was a glut of national media stories examining hard times for the working poor following the economic collapse of the century; there’s the occasional A27 blurb that mentions mass starvation, but only as part of an argument about why capital gains should be taxed at zero percent. Yet for Hovde, the papers read like Pravda*:

During the Q&A portion of the event, Hovde expressed his support for lowering the corporate tax rate, tackling the country’s spending problems and lowering the national debt.

Then, pointing to a reporter in the audience, Hovde said he would love to see the press stop covering sad stories about low-income individuals who can’t get benefits and start covering issues like the deficit more frequently.

“I see a reporter here,” he said. “I just pray that you start writing about these issues. I just pray. Stop always writing about, ‘Oh, the person couldn’t get, you know, their food stamps or this or that.’ You know, I saw something the other day — it’s like, another sob story, and I’m like, ‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’ That’s going to devastate everybody.”

One day, just one day maybe, we’ll see someone working at any mainstream news outlet — perhaps a reasonable centrist at the Washington Post or New York Times who misses the days of bipartisanship, of Tip and Ronnie fightin’ all day and then going out for a drink, of Newt and Bill ending welfare — advocate for lowering the corporate tax rate. But probably not in this lifetime.

[HuffPo]

* — I’m so, so sorry

 
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{ 107 comments }

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 3:47 pm

‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’

No, wait, this makes sense!

People starve to death one at a time, but a cut in the corporate tax rate to zero affects all the rich people at the same time! That means it's bigger news!

not that Radio June 18, 2012 at 10:22 pm

A micro solution to a macro problem.

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Pravda

Question: Do Pravda's shoes match their handbags?

nounverb911 June 18, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Needs more "Eat the Rich".

scvirginia June 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Tastier than hot pockets!

OneDollarJuana June 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Soylent Greenbacks.

Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 3:50 pm

WWJD? He'd want you to PRAY that billionaires pay less in taxes. DUH?!?!?!

Blueb4sunrise June 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm

OT , just received this is an email and wanted to share. Maybe it's made the rounds already, and I missed it.

"The Motherfucking Pterodactyl" – Sarah Donner and The Oatmeal
Thumbnail
NSFW
and have to sign-in.
http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch

bikerlaureate June 18, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Give them this day
Our daily bread.

sullivanst June 18, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Here's my review of Hovde's economic policy:

"Zhil-bil korol kogda-to, pree nyom blokha zhila" – It stinks.

Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Not_So_Much June 18, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I'm sooo sick of reading this first story I've ever read about Eric Horvde, douchenozzle-at-large…

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

And I thought I was old getting the Pravda reference…

One can never refer to Lehrer often enough.

OkieDokieDog June 18, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Really. Where are these people-things hatched, manufactured, podded?

nounverb911 June 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

In the Bain Romneybot factory in China.

noodlesalad June 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Yes, keep praying about that, because, as Jesus said "Whatever you did for one of the least of these budget deficit stories, you did for me."

SexySmurf June 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I, for one, would like to see less stories about Syria and more stories about side boobs.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 18, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I, for one, would just like to see more side boob.

starfanglednut June 18, 2012 at 8:16 pm

I, for one, would like to see more boobs period.

MissTaken June 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

There's gonna be male stripper movie soon. I just pray the media starts writing about this. I just pray.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1915581/

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Will there be side testes?

mavenmaven June 18, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Just read HuffPost exclusively and you should be ok.

Crank_Tango June 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Pics or GTFO!

Not_So_Much June 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm

When will this fad play out and we move on to more important things? Like underboob?

BaldarTFlagass June 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’

Why, they're ignoring the fuck out of it, that's what.

coolhandnuke June 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

“I see a reporter here,” he said….."and I want to paint it black."

SorosBot June 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Yeah, why doesn't our media waste even more time yammering about the non-issue of the deficit that they're constantly going on and on about instead of every great once in a while mentioning that class actually exists in America?

Douché June 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Plus we don't have enough bombs to protect ourselves from the messicans, so write about that too you 'freakin pencil jockeys. Jeeze.

sewollef June 18, 2012 at 4:29 pm

"…. pencil jockeys"

He he. Old school.

Everyone who works for the LSM uses crayons these days. Primary-colored crayons to boot.

anniegetyerfun June 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?

Um, many hundreds of thousands of people can't get benefits or food stamps?

noodlesalad June 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Silly Annie, by country, he means CEOs and NASCAR team owners.

anniegetyerfun June 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Oh, just the job makers! Well, I hear that they are buying more Gucci and less Prada. Tragic, really.

OneDollarJuana June 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

He means the landed gentry. And the robber barons.

OkieDokieDog June 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Everybody knows that if those poors would study the bible more, sell their blood, a kidney or a kid, whatever, and give the money to the church, then God would give them more Hobo beans.

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I find your proposal, modest as it is, interesting and would like to know if there is a newsletter or perhaps a website I might subscribe to.

MissTaken June 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm

“I just pray that you start writing about these issues. I just pray. Stop always writing about, ‘Oh, the person couldn’t get, you know, their food stamps or this or that.’

See people! The American nuns really need to STFU about the poorz because they give Hovde a case of the sadz.

anniegetyerfun June 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

American nuns need to STFU because they are supposed to be concentrating on preventing gay marriage or feminism. That's what the Vatican says, anyway. None of this "help the needy" bullshit that these harlots have been peddling for years.

BaldarTFlagass June 18, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Hopefully the media will stop writing about him.

randcoolcatdaddy June 18, 2012 at 3:56 pm

"‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’ That’s going to devastate everybody.”"

Funny … I don't remember him saying that when Shrub started two wars and gave a tax cut that bankrupted the country. Perhaps I missed that.

Texan_Bulldog June 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Why isn't this guy in Gov. Walker's cabinet already?

nounverb911 June 18, 2012 at 3:59 pm

He looks like he's coming out of Walker's closet instead.

Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Yeah he's right! Remember all those Sally Struthers ads on late night TV when you were busy getting drunk and watching the late movie? Or how about that depressing USA for Africa was? What did We Are the World do besides get played on the radio till I wanted to puke? And don't get me started on these new Sarah McLachlan ads with the depressing abused puppies. Fucken' A Bubba. You preach on about depressing shit being reported due to its relevance!

BaldarTFlagass June 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Wait till he gets a load of the "It Gets Better" campaign.

coolhandnuke June 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Don't forget that touchy-feely treacle of Hands Across America.

Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

It was a great day, A GREAT DAY, in America when that flopped.

coolhandnuke June 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Indeed. "Hand Jobs Across America" would have been a better choice.

CapnRadio June 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm

"And, come to think of it, when is that Charles Dickens going to write a story telling the plight of the managers of debtors' prisons?!"

anniegetyerfun June 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Charles Dickens = massive commie homo, obvs.

noodlesalad June 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. But it was best for the 1%, so that's all she wrote about that. Time to execute another poor!

nounverb911 June 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Some of Hovde's best friends are Mitt Romney?

Antispandex June 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Hey, I've got news for you. Mitt and Eric are people too! Well, or so I'm told.

Goonemeritus June 18, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Was it not Jesus who taught us that while we would always have the poor the health of the free market was on our shoulders.

Antispandex June 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Yes. I believe the quote is, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a poor person to enter heaven". Or words to that effect. I'm paraphrasing.

rickmaci June 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

"Luke 16:19-25 "There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man's table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried.

In Hell, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames.' But Abraham said, 'Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony." Which is apparently what Jesus said.

Boojum June 18, 2012 at 8:26 pm

See, so rich people are taking all the money in order to save the poor from going to Hell.

The rich deserve a medal, they do.

CapnRadio June 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

STOP REMINDING ME ABOUT POOR PEOPLE!!!

bikerlaureate June 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Yeah, it's not like they have ID's and can still vote…

Blueb4sunrise June 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Go back to Scandinavia ya fuckwad!

BloviateMe June 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

He's right. I was watching a documentary on the holocaust. NOT ONE freakin' smile amongst all those skinny Jews. It was exhausting to watch…I mean, lighten up you depressing bastards.

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Do you realize how many Americans would die to be that skinny?

sewollef June 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

American jews?

anniegetyerfun June 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

You'd think they could look at what was happening to Germany AS A WHOLE, not just the victims, you know? Like, what was the Nazi party up to? Were they having fun? Did they go to the beach in the summer? Were they busy creating jobs? Of course they were – building ovens. These are the things that the liberal press conveniently ignored.

starfanglednut June 18, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Concentration camps are people, my friend.

rickmaci June 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Let them eat corporate tax rate cuts !!

scvirginia June 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Less fattening than hot pockets!

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

And the Lord said unto them
"Do not let yourself be troubled by the poor,
For they are a drag on the economy,
So fuck them.
But do cast your thoughts upon the lowly corporation,
Which may have to pay some taxes this year,
Despite being job creators,
For they are truly the most blessed in my eyes,
And shall have mastery over the Earth
and all of its wealth."

First Book of Koch, Chap. 4, Verse 12-18.

Boojum June 18, 2012 at 8:27 pm

And the Lord did grin…

not that Radio June 18, 2012 at 10:16 pm

"The Teapartitudes"

Extemporanus June 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Can you believe all these people whining about starving to death in the recession? How is that “news”? If people want food, they should just stop being lazy and get food.

BREAKING: "Man Bites Dog"

CapnRadio June 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Eating Korean tonight, are we?

Extemporanus June 18, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Nah, I'm fixin' to wolf down some greasy Indian food.

not that Radio June 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Oh, so you heard Sarah Palin's RightOnline speech?

Extemporanus June 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I find it funny that I get a hard time for eating elk and moose…come on, does anybody have a pet moose?

Hokey smoke!

widestanceromance June 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Starving children give delicate job creators the vapors. One must always be careful so as not to alarm or annoy them. Always do their bidding without question or delay and do not even look them in the eye.

Antispandex June 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You may be able to get a copy, if you live somewhere like, oh, I don't know, Chicago, or some place the libraries haven't been purged, but there is this book called Hard Times, by Studs Terkel. It's about where we are headed with Mr. Hovde's kind of deep thoughts on the economy.

SayItWithWookies June 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

During the Q&A portion of the event, Hovde expressed his support for lowering the corporate tax rate, tackling the country’s spending problems and lowering the national debt.

Because nothing cuts the deficit like lowering taxes. Maybe if we just put a tax on shit that doesn't make any sense we could fix our fuckin' deficit problem.

BarackMyWorld June 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Tax things that don't make sense?

Why we could pay for universal healthcare with the script to Prometheus!

sullivanst June 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

NASA Mars program funded by Pam Gellar.

bonghitforjesus June 18, 2012 at 6:08 pm

A Fassbinder robot of my very own would definitely improve my mental & physical health, fwiw.

BaldarTFlagass June 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

"If people want food, they should just stop being lazy and get food."

Yeah, like those black looters in New Orleans after Katrina. They should have bleached their skins and gone out to "find food" instead of stealing it.

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ June 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

"Stop always writing about, ‘Oh, the person couldn’t get, you know, their food stamps or this or that.’ You know, I saw something the other day — it’s like, another sob story, and I’m like…"

Who writes his teleprompter? Sarah Palin?

Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I hear 13 year old girls in line at the Orange Julius talk like that about Big Time Rush.

Dashboard Buddha June 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

"‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’ That’s going to devastate everybody.”

What's happening to the country is that more people are on food stamps than ever…and while luxuries are expensive, pitchforks and torches are not.

bikerlaureate June 18, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Future devastation trumps current devastation.
If you're non-blah.

Arken June 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

He's right. The media doesn't cover the plight of the rich enough. I'm going to go to TMZ or maybe People Magazine and complain about that.

BarackMyWorld June 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

AND ALL THESE HOMELESS PEOPLE!!! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GO HOME???

mavenmaven June 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm

And all that whining about cancer. Why don't these people just suffer silently and die while we count our money? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/18/richard-

Come here a minute June 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm

If there were more Washington DC cocktail parties and dinner parties then the media would finally be fixed again.

Slim_Pickins June 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

It is Wisconsin after all, let the poors eat surplus cheese!

Estproph June 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm

‘But what about what’s happening to the country and the country as a whole?’

Yeah, and what about all of the country? And the entire country? And the country too, also?

Gopherit June 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Spoken like a man who plans to suckle off the government teat for the rest of his life. Hypocrisy, thy name is tea Party.

TootsStansbury June 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I think he meant this country as a hole. As in smoking crater; these fuckers aren't going to stop until they've wrecked everything.

Opportunisticly_Joe June 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Question: do "bread riots" count as 'another sob story', or is it more liek something that happens to the country as a whole?

DahBoner June 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

If these bald-headed cueballs want to get a job, they should, like grow their hair down to their knees.

Don't, uh, get a haircut, hippies!!!

elviouslyqueer June 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Somebody should tell Paul Ryan's boyfriend to STFU and go back to what he does best. Which is to say, fellating Paul Ryan.

johnnyzhivago June 18, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I want to see stories about stupid, handsome GOP politicians been ripped to pieces and eaten by starving wolves.

MinAgain June 18, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Give a man an smug, overfed Republican assHovde , and he'll eat for a week.

notreelyhelping June 18, 2012 at 5:43 pm

That's the problem with dead children in the street: if you don't step over them, you might trip and hurt yourself. Let's try to maintain perspective here.

bonghitforjesus June 18, 2012 at 6:14 pm

“I see a reporter here,” he said. “I just pray that you start writing about these issues."

Um, praying to a reporter? Really? This guy is a Darwin Award waiting to happen…

ttommyunger June 18, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Yes, brother, and I pray you will get a flat tire in Watts one fine Saturday night around midnight.

chascates June 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm

It's like all those people who are starving in Africa: they live where there isn't any food! If they just had the gumption to get up and move to some place that has food, say Iowa, they wouldn't be starving!!!

not that Radio June 18, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Real Americans® throw away more food than those people eat! Get with the program, Africans!

Boojum June 18, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I would like to see a "walk through rich neighborhood day" celebration. Not an organized march or anything. Just a stroll, at dusk, with a few hundred of your closest friends, along the tree lined streets of your average rich, white, over privileged boulevard.

dennis1943 June 18, 2012 at 10:02 pm

When did i get blipped into this alternate reality………………..?

Warpde June 18, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Bloody Poor's.
Always using their high ranking social status to hog all the headlines.
Wish I could be poor so I could get that kind of attention.

scorpy1 June 19, 2012 at 9:34 am

Somehow, I figured his commercials glorifying the money his father made (a la Bobby Newport) was going to lead us here.

TribecaMike June 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm

There's only enough room on this planet for one John Tesh.

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