one born every minute

Leading San Diego Judge Candidate Gary Kreep Busy Vacuuming Pockets Of Birther Rubes

I don't belong hereThis is so interesting! Birther/Obama-suer/Taitz-feuder-wither Gary Kreep, currently ahead in a race for a San Diego judgeship by like 1000 votes over the even more unfortunately named Garland Peed, is outspoken in the belief that President Barack Obama is a moon alien (duh), abortion must be prosecuted, and icky homosexuals do not deserve the same civil rights as the rest of us. He is also the head of lots and lots of wacky rightwing foundations. Enjoy him, San Diego! Also to enjoy? Eagle-eyed Wonkette operative Steverino247 sends along these fun financial disclosure forms showing he is taking said foundations for everything they’ve got!

From his law practice, over 100K per year
From his Beat Obama PAC, between $1,001 and 10,000 in salary
From his Republican Majority Campaign PAC, $10,001 to 100K in salary
From his US Justice Foundation (a non-profit legal foundation), over 100K in salary
From renting property to his PAC’s and the Ramona Teacher’s Association (irony alert), from $10,001 to 100K.

Notes our Steverino: “he makes between $221,003 and $410,000 per year and possibly much more since two of the categories are ‘More than $100,000.'”

According to Guidestar, in 2010 (latest available), Kreep collected $222,000 from the United States Justice Foundation. It must have been difficult working those 40 hours while also running two other PACs and his law practice, but we guess he is just one of those insatiable workaholic types who never sleeps. Like Martha Stewart, but with insane lawsuits against the president instead of centerpieces and high-Wasp sheets. [SDCityBeat/SDVote]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
What Others Are Reading

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Can this guy afford to be a lowly paid judge?

    • ph7

      He will immediately start a PAC supporting his recall, and a legal defense fund to fight the recall effort, which will hire his law firm to perform the legal research. And maybe start a Disabled Veterans Honor Society; those always seem very profitable, with no questions asked.

      • Steverino247

        Shh! He might be reading this.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    He looks like Stephen Hawking's sicker, creepier brother

    • sullivanst

      To me, and I'm just being British here, he looks like longtime player of a Detective on TV, David Jason, who probably understands the concept of justice better than Gary Kreep, but that's not exactly saying much.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      He's probably not as intelligible when he speaks, though.

    • glasspusher

      Stephen Hawking is just as much of a pervert as the rest of us, I'm happy to say. Nice that his sensory nerves are working just fine.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Well least he's aptly named.

  • MissTaken

    Never trust a Kreep in a candy cane tie.

    • nounverb911

      Tucker Carlson's daddy?

    • JustPixelz

      A lesson we all eventually learn the hard way.

      • ph7

        Tickle Monster

  • coolhandnuke

    He's so fucking special.

    • Come here a minute

      He floats like a feather in a beautiful world.

      • Estproph

        What the heck is he doing here? He doesn't belong here. Whistle solo ♫♪♪♪♫♫♪♫

  • philpjfry

    I don't know whether to smile because right wing nut jobs are giving this a hole money, or cry because there are people that dumb in this country

  • Estproph

    All that money, and that's the best he can come up with for a tie?

    • memzilla

      CANDY CANE LIBELZ!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      That's from the TGI Friday's collection of Guy Fiere.

      • MissTaken

        I don't like to talk about Guy Fiere's Flare.

    • keinsignal

      I believe the tie is meant to advertise that his services are also available for bloodletting.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Oh, NICELY played!

        *polite golf clap*

        Martini?

    • glasspusher

      Probably a gift from his wife/mother/concubine. How's he going to get out of not wearing it?

    • Steverino247

      Chinese prostitute: "Take off your tie"

      Jack Burton: "I know what you mean. My wife gave it to me for Christmas!"

  • Gopherit

    This won't interfere with his ability to impartially make insane decisions that defy logic.

  • Schmannnity

    For $300, he could file a petition for name change.

    • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Ayn Rand Paul Tard

      Change the 'K' typo to a 'C.'

    • trondant

      "Gary Asshole" has a nice ring to it.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Birther/Obama-suer/Taitz-feuder-wither Gary Kreep"

    I'd be interested to know where he differs from Orly. Is it the "hotter/wetter/tighter" thing?

    • not that Radio

      Her moustache is more prominent.

    • glasspusher

      Thanks for that. No need for me to want lunch now…

  • Schmannnity

    I would rather the other guy win for the headline Peed Over Kreep.

  • noodlesalad

    These financial disclosure rules must be hell on Lucifer. People who used to sell their souls for a lot less are demanding multiple income streams, board positions, and paid TV gigs. Keeps Hades busy, but transparent, at least.

  • memzilla

    If you have Peed Kreep — see your urologist.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Water is wet, dogs will hunt, and tea baggers are dumber than shit.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So he rents his own property to his own PACs, who pay for it with donated money — so essentially these fucking rubes are paying Gary Kreep to own land. And why do I get the sneaking suspicion that his "law practice" consists of consulting to his PACs, too?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder how he will rule on any Kreeping Sharia Law cases that might show up on his docket.

    • MissTaken

      Oh I'm sure he Peed his pants whenever he heard of Kreeping Sharia.

    • Steverino247

      Not many agriculture cases come up, despite the farming that goes on there.

      Steverino247
      President, Creeping Sharia Horticultural Society

  • MissTaken

    That's it. Time for me to start the MissTaken PAC, pay myself $10,001 to 100K in salary, and then rent my property (a 2000 Honda Civic) to said PAC.

    • SorosBot

      Well it is a cute little Civic that still runs well; the PAC will be getting its money's worth.

  • rickmaci

    I would love to see a ghouls gallery of pics with all the Republigoons who sport a Bolten/Kreep style mustache.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Supreme Court Material here!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Where was PRESIDENT Obama BORN?

    Someone just discovered how to make different fonts and italics and bolds and such.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I can't get that mad about conning the birthers out of their money.

    • glasspusher

      It is morally reprehensible to let a sucker keep their money.

    • http://www.thesuniverse.blogspot.com thesuniverse

      I want in on that. It's my duty as an American.

  • JustPixelz

    At least he won't be an "activist judge". In fact he may not be a "wise judge". Or a "competent judge". All those traits are disparaged* by the Repubicans and TP'ers.
    _________________________________
    * Mr Kreep: If you're reading it means regard or represent as being of little worth.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Can we put Kreep, Peed and Taitz in a room with no corners, give them forks, and let them decide who will win this election?

    • MissTaken

      I heard Kreep Peed on his Taitz.

    • rmjagg

      kreep peed taint

    • bikerlaureate

      Metal forks, or plastic forks?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Steverino was giving updates. Is he okay?

    • Steverino247

      I didn't want to fuck up your weekend. Plus, I was figuring out how to tweet about some important people in the Sac Bee.

  • Gopherit

    So when is our wonkette going to form its own superPAC to fund their trips to exotic corners of the US to drink at bars?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      SnarkerPAC.

  • mavenmaven

    The GOP motto: There's a sucker born every minute (and they believe our talking points!)

  • Baconzgood

    Grifters gotta grift people.

  • thefrontpage

    Gary Kreep is an extra-terrestrial homosexual.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

    Is this a real election, or a viral/stealth-reboot of Fernwood 2Night?!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kVKUpJ8vto

    • Steverino247

      It's too real for the "well qualified" Mr. Peed, I'm afraid. 400,000 coin tosses later, he may lose to "lacking qualifications" Mr. Kreep. Just in time, though. The state budget is going to kill the courts. L.A. and SFO already started big layoffs and closures and San Diego has enough reserves to last this year with some voluntary early retirements and job freeze-like stuff. 2013 will be very fucking ugly, though.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    If you were looking for a lawyer, would you want a Kreep on your side?

  • XtfrM

    It would just be impossible to improve upon this man's name.

  • Antispandex

    I don't know for sure, but I don't believe I could vote for this guy even IF I were a wingtard. He just looks like the kind of guy you would see driving an "Ice Cream" truck.

  • glasspusher

    Geez, with plate tectonics, in a few dozen million years, his district will be right up here by San Francisco! I better get my house on the market before prices crash.

  • telecustom1972

    Can't wait to hear this Kreep's inevitable explanation regarding his need for a "wide stance" in the men's wash room.

  • PhilippePetain

    I hear that nobody bears more grudges than lonely….high. court…. AHEM.

  • StarsUponThars

    Kreep Peed & Stole, Attorneys at Law

  • http://www.thesuniverse.blogspot.com thesuniverse

    How am I working like a sucker?

    I am clearly in the wrong business.

  • owhatever

    Stay classy, San Diego.

  • ttommyunger

    He'll get my support when his mother quits buying his clothes and laying them out for him every morning….NOT!

  • Steverino247

    Here's the latest results with about 2000 left to go:

    SUPERIOR COURT – Office No. 34

    GARY GEORGE KREEP 202873 50.18%

    GARLAND PEED 201415 49.82%

    With a difference of 1458 with only 2000 to go, it's statistically unlikely that Peed can prevail. There may be a recount under the circumstances, but…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    it's all fun and games until someone gets their constitutional protections poked out.

  • ratcityrebel

    I honestly think my favorite part of the entire race is finding out that Garland Peed's website is actually peedforjudge.org

  • freddymcmurray

    I refuse to believe that that photo is not Brucey from Kids in the Hall.

  • DahBoner

    With that kind of money, he could afford to buy a quieter penis pump to use during hearings…