RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  11:35 am June 18, 2012

Your American Dreams Are A Virus Against America

by Sulagna Misra

Susan, sing us back to 2009!Do you have dreams, Wonkette commenters? I totally had one the other night about–wait, you want news? Oh, fine.
 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 106 comments }

nounverb911 June 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

Is that photo Newt in a fright wig?

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 11:40 am

Ever since the campaign ended, Callista sure has let herself go

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

I'd rather read about Sluggo's dreams. I bet I was naked in them.

nounverb911 June 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

"your task is to work on making America suck more. "
This is good news for illegal fence builders.

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 11:40 am

Ironic: fence builders using illegal immigrants to build fences to keep illegal immigrants out.

SorosBot June 18, 2012 at 11:42 am

Aren't dreams copywrited property of the Walt Disney Corporation?

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 11:44 am

No.

Monsanto.

Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

If you put a wig and a dress on the dude from the 38nd floor he looks exactly like that woman. He even won $100 last Halloween.

noodlesalad June 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

Romney/Steele 2012, for the most ideologically flexible ticket ever. That's change we can believe in, and, indeed, witness on an hourly basis!

sewollef June 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

More like watch in real time. Keep a camera on him 12-hours a day and he'll give you 12 different answers to the same question, depending who he's talking to of course.

Allmighty_Manos June 18, 2012 at 11:46 am

"But if as a conservative your dream is to stop rampant illegal immigration (and, really, immigration), then know this: your task is to work on making America suck more."

I'd say mission accomplished.

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

Oh no! Not yet! Somewhere someone is making a living wage!

Generation[redacted] June 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

And somewhere, crops are being picked instead of left to rot in the field. There's more work to do, obviously.

freakishlywrong June 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

Lanny Davis and Michale Steele long for civility. I dream of crotch punching.

Goonemeritus June 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

The time for toning down the rhetoric is after we fill the FEMA Death Camps.

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 11:54 am

Actually, emptying them would raise the level of civility….if you take my meaning.

Ducksworthy June 18, 2012 at 11:56 am

Yes. I think we may have made a mistake rehabilitating the Nazi's after WWII. They just keep coming back.

didgen June 18, 2012 at 11:51 am

So much good news today.

smashedinhat June 18, 2012 at 11:51 am

Wake up, America! You're dreaming!

BaldarTFlagass June 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Gerendo Revolver, is that you?

freakishlywrong June 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

"your task is to work on making America suck more"
The GOP agenda, and it's working!

Steverino247 June 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

What they say: "Get these Browns outta here!:

What they dream: "What can Browns do for you, today?"

Blueb4sunrise June 18, 2012 at 11:54 am

Cool. I get to post

Big Bill Broonzy

BaldarTFlagass June 18, 2012 at 11:54 am

I dreamed I was holding a live fish.

Spurning Beer June 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

You too? I had that dream about the firehose and the fire in the coal mine again last night.

actor212 June 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I dreamed I won a gold medal in the 100m dash….

…in my Maidenform bra!

James Michael Curley June 18, 2012 at 11:55 am

Since the size label on that bra is 432 it must be Limeylizzie

mavenmaven June 18, 2012 at 11:59 am

Michael Steele? Where do I recall that name from? Was he on Dancing with the Stars? The Muppets?

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 12:07 pm

No, you're thinking of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj9_yW8tZxs

scvirginia June 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

That hat is pretty awesome.

mavenmaven June 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm

oh, yeah, that's right, now I remember!

Estproph June 18, 2012 at 11:59 am

Conservatives have a way of making America suck more just by existing. No work involved.

SexySmurf June 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Last night, I dreamed I was posting a comment on Wonkette. In the nude.

Who says dreams can't come true?

Chichikovovich June 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

How Wonkette came to be in the nude I'll never know.

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I ward off commenting stage-fright by imagining you all naked. How's it hangin'?

Callyson June 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

The Slate link goes to an error message. You know your dreams are toast when you can't even read about how damaging they are…

Freewayblogger June 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

My dream is that the left will start adopting my tactics:
http://freewayblogger.blogspot.com/2012/06/highwa

It'd take about thirty of us to make America look like Berkeley.

johnnyzhivago June 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm

My dream is to reinstate luxury, trans-atlantic Zeppelin travel. My other dream is to become a dolphin.

Please visit my Kickstarter and contribute (generously) today!

Geminisunmars June 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I hope you are happy. You've just ruined the economy.

Billmatic June 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Middle school was like lord of the flies but not on an island and I was Piggy. :(

deanbooth June 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Kickstarter + Single Payer = A corporate nightmare?

Mumbletypeg June 18, 2012 at 12:07 pm

See this is how conflicted I am in modern times. I was recently lamenting to myself how with movies & youtube so portable, via smartphone etc., to view wherever you go — in cafes, on the subway for all I know — no one is going to bother reading anymore, whether a print book or a kindle-thingy or a newspaper. THEN Yglesias's article, linked above, mentions how Kickstarter enabled a wristwatch-mimicking thing ("Pebble") to get developed and I'm all like "Ohhhh, shiny!"

poorgradstudent June 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

If Kickstarter is pissing off business school people and economic writers for Slate, then that's the best reason for its existence of all!

BarackMyWorld June 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Do you have dreams, Wonkette commenters?

Yes.

Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm

We do the dance of Joy Larry!

P.S. I didn't even have to click that link to know what your talking about. Now you have that fucking song in my head all day.

Blueb4sunrise June 18, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Baconzgood June 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm

AHHHHHHHHH! Now I must clean my ears!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzYxl_BUCao

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Mick appears to be sportin' trucknutz.

BarackMyWorld June 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Somehow I never noticed that before.

freakishlywrong June 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Howie Kurtz there shoulda asked Lanny "who on the left is as face bitingly hateful as Limbaugh, Hannity, Beckles, the Nooge or the Donald?" I won't hold my breath. (I know, I'm dreaming).

PubOption June 18, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I am a kickstarter, a twisted kickstarter.

Buckminster June 18, 2012 at 12:30 pm

The Kickstarter article was incredibly stupid.

el_donaldo June 18, 2012 at 12:31 pm

If it basically involves whiskey and masturbation, does it still count as a dream?

DahBoner June 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I have a Scheme, my friends (to convince ignorant NASCAR Bubbas the son of a Mexican Millionaire Mormon is just like them)…

Eve8Apples June 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

"your task is to work on making America suck more "

I thought Sarah Palin and Joe the pretend plumber were given those assignments.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

It's fun watching libunatics jerk themselves around the circle in complete denial as they goosestep their way into political oblivion in November.

BaldarTFlagass June 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Hey, we could use a good pivot man. Are you reporting for duty?

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

What has it taken you, 2 years to get up enough guts to comment here?

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I was banned (libs are intolerant of dissent) and just yesterday found that the ban had expired.

The posters here are generally boring and not funny, so there's not much incentive to participate.

Generation[redacted] June 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Really. Tell us what comment got you banned.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Do you remember all your posts from two years ago, especially those which were deleted?

Have you noticed that very few conservatives post here? That's because they're banned in short order.

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I call bullshit. Clearly, you know how to create and use several dozen accounts.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"I call bullshit."

Yes, you typically do espouse a significant amount of that; we agree.

I've used a couple of accounts which were all banned due to liberal intolerance and disregard for diversity of opinion.

Generation[redacted] June 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Looks like Pam Geller finally found her spellchecker.

Goonemeritus June 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

How about we make a little wager, if Obama wins in November you stick to your sad kind. And if he loses we will stop heckling Breitbart at all his upcoming speaking engagements

mavenmaven June 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm

oh, spanky2b is back. You're just jealous as you have only yourself to jerk.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Just passing through. Slumming, as it were.

I'll probably come back about 9 p.m. on November 6 to gloat.

mavenmaven June 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Gloat after they take your health care benefits away.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

You mean like they did to seniors when they cut the budget for Medicare by $500B to jumpstart Barrycare?

Yeah, I know, they "cut the provide sider, not the consumer side," and they "eliminated waste and fraud," and "they just reduced the increases" (which were necessary due to increased cost and increased numbers of seniors).

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 3:59 pm

BTW, which is it – is Romney going to cut all health care or is his Massachusetts health care law truly the blueprint for Barrycare? I can't keep up with Dem talking points.

Mittens Howell, III June 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Kickstarter, is that like a Sheldon Adelson for the poors?

mayor_quimby June 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Don't all flood it at once, but the RNSC repeal Obamacare printer is back online… for a while.
http://iwantrepeal.tumblr.com/livestream

Generation[redacted] June 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Not Gerald Ford! Nooooo!

TootsStansbury June 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

If you tell your dream before breakfast it won't come true.

Antispandex June 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

" …then know this: your task is to work on making America suck more."

But, that is aready the mission statement of the Republican party.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I thought that dreams were outlawed as part of the deal to raise the debt ceiling last year.

GeorgiaBurning June 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Kickstarter a threat to the world economic order?? Almost as great as the one posed by pennies dropped in parking lots.

Opportunisticly_Joe June 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Turns out Kickstarter is even worse than we thought! According to this article, it is destroying the economy because everyone is following their dreams. Yes, really.

Which is weird, because if you'll remember, conservatives keep on insisting that every person in the economy should be an entrepeneur, and nobody should be employed by anyone else, (and definitely not the government), and so therefore mass unemployment among the newly graduated isn't the sort of catastrophic thing that will destroy an entire generation's career prospects.

So now I don't know what to believe, other than that everyone is wrong about everything all the time.

An_Outhouse June 18, 2012 at 2:26 pm

(hanging head in shame)
I contributed to a kickstarter campaign to raise money for a kiln for a local arts education center. The rightards were right, I am trying to destroy Amercia.

fuflans June 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

to be fair, susan boyle has contributed far more than any palin ever did.

ttommyunger June 19, 2012 at 6:46 am

"Michael Steele and Lanny Davis", now there's a pair to draw to: the Frick and Frack of the Hack World; both have proven over the years that they would enter contracts to suck elephant dicks by the herd, if the money was right.

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Your helmet made of teabag catchphrases is impenetrable. How does this contribute to an exchange of diverse views?

Generation[redacted] June 18, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I was banned from redstate for saying tax cuts don't increase revenue. I was banned from the RNC leadership board (though I don't know why they invited me to join in the first place) for saying Ollie North sold weapons to terrorists. So the answer to your question is yes, I do remember what I wrote 2, 4, and even 8 years ago. If it got me banned, I remember it.

You don't know why you were banned but apparently you don't get banned for using the words libunatic, jerk, goosestep, or oblivion.

Maybe you should consult a neurologist about your memory problems. Or maybe you get banned from so many boards you simply can't keep track anymore, in which case I suggest you send your most recent posts to your mother and ask her why.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 2:31 pm

If you had a gram of integrity, you'd apply the same high standards to posts here and come away incensed by the hypocrisy.

Libs have infinite patience when the vitriol, hatred, misrepresentation, hatred, and demonization comes from them.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"teabag catchphrases"

Maybe you can help me understand why liberal males are obsessed with the concept (and catchphrase) of teabagging.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm

And yet there are virtually no posters here who don't espouse the Wonkette dogma, yet there are plenty of dissidents at the sites you mention.

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

But it's all about you, isn't it? You come here to complain about our intolerance, vitriol, demonization, etc., but your comments always lead with yours. Be the change you want to see on Wonkette, if you want to argue from integrity! If you don't, just go masturbate with your ilk on your conservative boards.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 2:42 pm

When I first came here, I did indeed attempt to maintain reasonable discourse, but found that Wonkette is not tolerant of ANYTHING or ANYONE that doesn't follow lib dogma.

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Perhaps you should hold a mirror to your own comments for signs of being "boring" and "not funny", as you mentioned earlier. These attributes, which you have kindly projected onto us, are the antithesis of commenting on Wonkette, and yet they seem to be your specialty. A much wittier and better-read Troll than you had a long and diverting life here. Have you ever written anything that was even mildly amusing? Show your work.

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 3:01 pm

We are incredulous that conservative males are so clueless that they opened themselves to the joke by naming their movement "The Tea Party" and waving teabags around. It may also be that liberal males see no shame in being homosexual, but see a large degree of shame and hypocrisy in attending the conservative conventions where hatred of homosexuality is codified, while advertising for same-sex assignations at these events on craigslist.

lulzmonger June 19, 2012 at 11:40 am

Not obsessed enough to name an entire political movement after it though. Does the slogan "Teabag the Dems before the Dems Teabag You" ring any bells?

Run away from the name but keep wearing the teabags = FAIL.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

When I first came to Wonkette, I did indeed just hang out. I received a number of TUs and positive responses. It wasn't until it became clear I wasn't drinking the communist kool-aid that the denizens began their vitriol.

One of the things I did was to take lib posts here and just swap the names around. Posts that were seen as funny when they were about conservatives were seen as crass and stupid when they were about libs.

Are you really that oblivious to the double standards in play here?

Generation[redacted] June 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Yeah, you go talk to redstate the way you talk to us, see how long they let your account stay. I was told in no uncertain terms that their site was only for people who agree with them, and that people who want to espouse opposing views can pay for their own server hosting.

Anyway your attempt to ascribe negative human behavior to one side of an imaginary political divide says nothing about the veracity of one position over another, but more about you.

Generation[redacted] June 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Are you really oblivious to the fact that the more annoying aspects of human nature don't follow party divides?

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

You do expend a lot of time and energy proving to yourself, with smug self-satisfaction, that this is a liberal blog, and virtually all of the commenters here are liberal. This is something that most intelligent people could figure out with much less effort. Perhaps you have issues with short and long-term memory, from being kicked in the head by your mule too many times.

And thank you for running away like a little girl from the challenge of posting something funny. You claim your earlier efforts consisted of simply stealing libtard comments and changing the targets. I am very sorry that you were born with the disability of being unable to crack an original joke. I have written 4 or 5 just in the time I have been having this uninteresting conversation with you!

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Where did I say that? I do appreciate you providing an excellent example of the misrepresentation that is typical here.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I appreciate it you that you openly compare Wonkette to another site that (according to you) is intolerant of dissent. We're getting somewhere.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Ah, because I don't feel like jumping through your hoops, that means I'm smug?

You're not worth of the effort.

NY9 Solyndra June 18, 2012 at 3:56 pm

The folks involved in the original Boston Tea Party must have all been gay – thanks for pointing that out.

Chet Kincaid June 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

And yet, here you are!

Goonemeritus June 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

The fact that both statements are true says more about the hoops a Republican candidate need jump through than any “Dem. talking point”. Romney has said he would repeal The Affordable Care Act on day one. It is also clear that the act is based on Romney care. In fact Obama and Romney even shared advisors in writing their proposals.

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

You really haven't said anything, other than (paraphrasing) "libs bad, cons good."

NY9 Solyndra June 19, 2012 at 11:00 am

I'm sure you apply the same precise criterion to the surfeit of "cons r bad, libs r fab" posts that populate this forum, because you are not a complete hypocrite.

NY9 Solyndra June 19, 2012 at 11:43 am

Ah, the savory bouquet of abject desperation! Thanks for sharing!

Generation[redacted] June 19, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I sure do. Between the snark, wonkette is chock full of esoteric references to literature and political trivia. "Us good, them bad" gets boring very quickly. Like this conversation, for example. Okay, I'll let you have the last word. Go ahead.

lulzmonger June 19, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Pointing out facts sure is desperate, alright.

Oh no! I remember things!
Someone, quick, help!

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