Your American Dreams Are A Virus Against America

  rumors on the internets
Susan, sing us back to 2009!Do you have dreams, Wonkette commenters? I totally had one the other night about–wait, you want news? Oh, fine.
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Hola wonkerados.

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106 comments

  1. nounverb911

    "your task is to work on making America suck more. "
    This is good news for illegal fence builders.

  2. Baconzgood

    If you put a wig and a dress on the dude from the 38nd floor he looks exactly like that woman. He even won $100 last Halloween.

  3. noodlesalad

    Romney/Steele 2012, for the most ideologically flexible ticket ever. That's change we can believe in, and, indeed, witness on an hourly basis!

    1. sewollef

      More like watch in real time. Keep a camera on him 12-hours a day and he'll give you 12 different answers to the same question, depending who he's talking to of course.

  4. Allmighty_Manos

    "But if as a conservative your dream is to stop rampant illegal immigration (and, really, immigration), then know this: your task is to work on making America suck more."

    I'd say mission accomplished.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        And somewhere, crops are being picked instead of left to rot in the field. There's more work to do, obviously.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Yes. I think we may have made a mistake rehabilitating the Nazi's after WWII. They just keep coming back.

  5. freakishlywrong

    "your task is to work on making America suck more"
    The GOP agenda, and it's working!

  6. Steverino247

    What they say: "Get these Browns outta here!:

    What they dream: "What can Browns do for you, today?"

  7. mavenmaven

    Michael Steele? Where do I recall that name from? Was he on Dancing with the Stars? The Muppets?

  8. SexySmurf

    Last night, I dreamed I was posting a comment on Wonkette. In the nude.

    Who says dreams can't come true?

  9. Callyson

    The Slate link goes to an error message. You know your dreams are toast when you can't even read about how damaging they are…

  10. johnnyzhivago

    My dream is to reinstate luxury, trans-atlantic Zeppelin travel. My other dream is to become a dolphin.

    Please visit my Kickstarter and contribute (generously) today!

  11. Mumbletypeg

    See this is how conflicted I am in modern times. I was recently lamenting to myself how with movies & youtube so portable, via smartphone etc., to view wherever you go — in cafes, on the subway for all I know — no one is going to bother reading anymore, whether a print book or a kindle-thingy or a newspaper. THEN Yglesias's article, linked above, mentions how Kickstarter enabled a wristwatch-mimicking thing ("Pebble") to get developed and I'm all like "Ohhhh, shiny!"

  12. poorgradstudent

    If Kickstarter is pissing off business school people and economic writers for Slate, then that's the best reason for its existence of all!

    1. Baconzgood

      We do the dance of Joy Larry!

      P.S. I didn't even have to click that link to know what your talking about. Now you have that fucking song in my head all day.

  13. freakishlywrong

    Howie Kurtz there shoulda asked Lanny "who on the left is as face bitingly hateful as Limbaugh, Hannity, Beckles, the Nooge or the Donald?" I won't hold my breath. (I know, I'm dreaming).

  14. DahBoner

    I have a Scheme, my friends (to convince ignorant NASCAR Bubbas the son of a Mexican Millionaire Mormon is just like them)…

  15. Eve8Apples

    "your task is to work on making America suck more "

    I thought Sarah Palin and Joe the pretend plumber were given those assignments.

  16. NY9 Solyndra

    It's fun watching libunatics jerk themselves around the circle in complete denial as they goosestep their way into political oblivion in November.

      1. NY9 Solyndra

        I was banned (libs are intolerant of dissent) and just yesterday found that the ban had expired.

        The posters here are generally boring and not funny, so there's not much incentive to participate.

          1. NY9 Solyndra

            Do you remember all your posts from two years ago, especially those which were deleted?

            Have you noticed that very few conservatives post here? That's because they're banned in short order.

          2. Generation[redacted]

            I was banned from redstate for saying tax cuts don't increase revenue. I was banned from the RNC leadership board (though I don't know why they invited me to join in the first place) for saying Ollie North sold weapons to terrorists. So the answer to your question is yes, I do remember what I wrote 2, 4, and even 8 years ago. If it got me banned, I remember it.

            You don't know why you were banned but apparently you don't get banned for using the words libunatic, jerk, goosestep, or oblivion.

            Maybe you should consult a neurologist about your memory problems. Or maybe you get banned from so many boards you simply can't keep track anymore, in which case I suggest you send your most recent posts to your mother and ask her why.

          3. NY9 Solyndra

            And yet there are virtually no posters here who don't espouse the Wonkette dogma, yet there are plenty of dissidents at the sites you mention.

          4. Generation[redacted]

            Yeah, you go talk to redstate the way you talk to us, see how long they let your account stay. I was told in no uncertain terms that their site was only for people who agree with them, and that people who want to espouse opposing views can pay for their own server hosting.

            Anyway your attempt to ascribe negative human behavior to one side of an imaginary political divide says nothing about the veracity of one position over another, but more about you.

          5. NY9 Solyndra

            I appreciate it you that you openly compare Wonkette to another site that (according to you) is intolerant of dissent. We're getting somewhere.

          1. NY9 Solyndra

            "I call bullshit."

            Yes, you typically do espouse a significant amount of that; we agree.

            I've used a couple of accounts which were all banned due to liberal intolerance and disregard for diversity of opinion.

          2. NY9 Solyndra

            If you had a gram of integrity, you'd apply the same high standards to posts here and come away incensed by the hypocrisy.

            Libs have infinite patience when the vitriol, hatred, misrepresentation, hatred, and demonization comes from them.

          3. Chet Kincaid

            But it's all about you, isn't it? You come here to complain about our intolerance, vitriol, demonization, etc., but your comments always lead with yours. Be the change you want to see on Wonkette, if you want to argue from integrity! If you don't, just go masturbate with your ilk on your conservative boards.

          4. NY9 Solyndra

            When I first came here, I did indeed attempt to maintain reasonable discourse, but found that Wonkette is not tolerant of ANYTHING or ANYONE that doesn't follow lib dogma.

          5. Chet Kincaid

            Perhaps you should hold a mirror to your own comments for signs of being "boring" and "not funny", as you mentioned earlier. These attributes, which you have kindly projected onto us, are the antithesis of commenting on Wonkette, and yet they seem to be your specialty. A much wittier and better-read Troll than you had a long and diverting life here. Have you ever written anything that was even mildly amusing? Show your work.

          6. NY9 Solyndra

            When I first came to Wonkette, I did indeed just hang out. I received a number of TUs and positive responses. It wasn't until it became clear I wasn't drinking the communist kool-aid that the denizens began their vitriol.

            One of the things I did was to take lib posts here and just swap the names around. Posts that were seen as funny when they were about conservatives were seen as crass and stupid when they were about libs.

            Are you really that oblivious to the double standards in play here?

          7. Generation[redacted]

            Are you really oblivious to the fact that the more annoying aspects of human nature don't follow party divides?

          8. Generation[redacted]

            You really haven't said anything, other than (paraphrasing) "libs bad, cons good."

          9. NY9 Solyndra

            I'm sure you apply the same precise criterion to the surfeit of "cons r bad, libs r fab" posts that populate this forum, because you are not a complete hypocrite.

          10. Generation[redacted]

            I sure do. Between the snark, wonkette is chock full of esoteric references to literature and political trivia. "Us good, them bad" gets boring very quickly. Like this conversation, for example. Okay, I'll let you have the last word. Go ahead.

          11. Chet Kincaid

            You do expend a lot of time and energy proving to yourself, with smug self-satisfaction, that this is a liberal blog, and virtually all of the commenters here are liberal. This is something that most intelligent people could figure out with much less effort. Perhaps you have issues with short and long-term memory, from being kicked in the head by your mule too many times.

            And thank you for running away like a little girl from the challenge of posting something funny. You claim your earlier efforts consisted of simply stealing libtard comments and changing the targets. I am very sorry that you were born with the disability of being unable to crack an original joke. I have written 4 or 5 just in the time I have been having this uninteresting conversation with you!

          12. Chet Kincaid

            We are incredulous that conservative males are so clueless that they opened themselves to the joke by naming their movement "The Tea Party" and waving teabags around. It may also be that liberal males see no shame in being homosexual, but see a large degree of shame and hypocrisy in attending the conservative conventions where hatred of homosexuality is codified, while advertising for same-sex assignations at these events on craigslist.

          13. lulzmonger

            Not obsessed enough to name an entire political movement after it though. Does the slogan "Teabag the Dems before the Dems Teabag You" ring any bells?

            Run away from the name but keep wearing the teabags = FAIL.

          14. lulzmonger

            Pointing out facts sure is desperate, alright.

            Oh no! I remember things!
            Someone, quick, help!

    1. Goonemeritus

      How about we make a little wager, if Obama wins in November you stick to your sad kind. And if he loses we will stop heckling Breitbart at all his upcoming speaking engagements

          1. NY9 Solyndra

            You mean like they did to seniors when they cut the budget for Medicare by $500B to jumpstart Barrycare?

            Yeah, I know, they "cut the provide sider, not the consumer side," and they "eliminated waste and fraud," and "they just reduced the increases" (which were necessary due to increased cost and increased numbers of seniors).

          2. NY9 Solyndra

            BTW, which is it – is Romney going to cut all health care or is his Massachusetts health care law truly the blueprint for Barrycare? I can't keep up with Dem talking points.

          3. Goonemeritus

            The fact that both statements are true says more about the hoops a Republican candidate need jump through than any “Dem. talking point”. Romney has said he would repeal The Affordable Care Act on day one. It is also clear that the act is based on Romney care. In fact Obama and Romney even shared advisors in writing their proposals.

  17. Antispandex

    " …then know this: your task is to work on making America suck more."

    But, that is aready the mission statement of the Republican party.

  18. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I thought that dreams were outlawed as part of the deal to raise the debt ceiling last year.

  19. GeorgiaBurning

    Kickstarter a threat to the world economic order?? Almost as great as the one posed by pennies dropped in parking lots.

  20. Opportunisticly_Joe

    Turns out Kickstarter is even worse than we thought! According to this article, it is destroying the economy because everyone is following their dreams. Yes, really.

    Which is weird, because if you'll remember, conservatives keep on insisting that every person in the economy should be an entrepeneur, and nobody should be employed by anyone else, (and definitely not the government), and so therefore mass unemployment among the newly graduated isn't the sort of catastrophic thing that will destroy an entire generation's career prospects.

    So now I don't know what to believe, other than that everyone is wrong about everything all the time.

  21. An_Outhouse

    (hanging head in shame)
    I contributed to a kickstarter campaign to raise money for a kiln for a local arts education center. The rightards were right, I am trying to destroy Amercia.

  22. ttommyunger

    "Michael Steele and Lanny Davis", now there's a pair to draw to: the Frick and Frack of the Hack World; both have proven over the years that they would enter contracts to suck elephant dicks by the herd, if the money was right.

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