Michigan Just Cannot Get Enough Vaginas

Michigan just cannot stop being ridiculous. State Rep. Lesia Liss, the only female Democrat to vote for the recent package of anti-abortion bills you may have heard about, was so overcome with the vapors following the utterance of the word vagina , her husband had to speak on her behalf. What does Mark Liss’ wife, the actual elected official, think about Eve Ensler and the ladies of the Michigan Legislature (2013 calendars available in time for the holidays!) performing The Vagina Monologues at the Michigan Capitol tonight?

Mark Liss, husband of state Rep. Lesia Liss, D-Warren, said both he and his wife objected to some of the language in this week's abortion debates. Lesia Liss was unavailable to comment.

"The irony is, Lesia loves the play," Mark Liss said. "We've actually been to see it, and I said, 'When are we going to the Penis Monologues?' "

Very "penetrating" insight, Mark Liss!

Oh wait, no it isn't.

You know why, Mark Liss? Because no one is trying to legislate wangs.

Time was, modern men and women had a kind of unspoken arrangement about these things. When women wanted to discuss their changing bodies, men went to the bar. To watch a game. With a plate of buffalo wings and a cold beer. It was a really good system. Also, women and their gynecologists were allowed to privately make vagina-related medical decisions.

Sadly, the Michigan legislature screwed up this arrangement with that no more filthy vagina talk you stupid whores policy.

So, thanks Michigan House Republicans. You’ve ruined everything. Because of your dumb speech codes if men ever want to get laid again, instead of watching a game, they'll have to pretend this Vagina Monologues spectacle is moving and inspiring. Some of us were really looking forward to tonight’s Yankees-Braves match-up on ESPN.

And, yes, it’s absurd and vulgar to equate the curtailing of reproductive rights to a televised baseball game. However, since Lansing doesn’t care about the former, maybe the latter will get their attention. [ Detroit Free Press ]