Members of the Michigan legislature are expected to behave in a manner that is becoming, not only of the dignity and responsibility of their high office, but of the people they represent.
That’s why the Honorable Frank Foster, member of the Michigan House of Representatives, did the only gentlemanly thing possible when Michigan Nurses Association staffer Julia Smith-Heck wouldn’t stop mowing her lawn while Foster was a guest in Smith-Heck’s neighborhood last month: he called her a cunt. As a matter of fact, Foster shouted “you’re a cunt” from across the street.
Like a gentleman!
It just so happens that Foster and Smith-Heck have divergent viewpoints on collective bargaining. But that’s just a coincidence and probably has nothing to do with Foster’s shouty, vulgar outburst. It really was about someone intolerably mowing their own lawn.
And that’s a lesson for those temper-tantrum throwing, unstable, probably mensey, lady Representatives Barb Byrum and Lisa Brown.
If you dames can’t refer to your lady parts by appropriate euphemisms (i.e. cunt) instead of the highly-offensive anatomically correct terms like vaginas, then you should just shut your traps. [Eclectablog]
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And we're sure that "mowing her lawn" wasn't a euphemism?
What's that useless flap of skin on the end a penis called?
Frank Foster.
There's a flap?
Flap on! …. Flap off!… Flap on, flap off, the CIRCUMCISION!
There's a penis?
Ur doin' it rong.
From now on, circumcision will be known as Fosterizing.
You're right; he does remind me of a smegma-coated dipstick.
EDIT: DAMMIT!!! Can't I have ONE original joke here, people!
(jokin, jokin; this is what I get for not reading ahead…)
Smegma-head needs a timeout.
It's not limited to his head.
Give the douche-bag a break, at least he didn't use the foul word vagina.
The lady person whom he graced with this epithet (I personally LIKE the word, and as far as I'm concerned it's an honest old English word, and there's nothing derogatory about it, but I know this schmuck doesn't agree with me) is actually contacting the Michigan Speaker of the House — yes, the dude who gaveled two women Reps into silence for using the foul word "vagina" — to demand an apology from this schmuck. Will she be surprised when he calls her a cunt, too?
Love the "greed is good" hair.
(I thought he had a stupid mole too, but then I cleaned off my screen.)
His head is pointy.
He comes from France to consume mass quantities.
"It is good to hone within the privacy of one's chamber"
I thought only intellectuals were pointy-headed.
That's because he just took off the white hood.
I noticed that *after* I noticed that he appears to have a proceeding hairline. Judging by the point on that, he should be down to eye level in a couple of years. AHOOOOO! Werewolves of the U.P. AHOOOO!!!
I wouldn't want to meet his tailor.
And his hair was perfect.
Maybe Warren was a man foresighted, and he foresaw this schmuck someday deserving this song.
Looks like his good hair is covering a huge pus-filled pimple aka his brain.
That's a HeMantoma.
I'm sorry, but a comment like that deserves a hug AND a gold star.
MB, I was in dire need of a hug. Thank you for your sweetness.
Think his hair is responsible for the high price of oil.
If he has a mole, it's probably as stupid as the rest of him…
Or desperately trying to secede.
The ONLY decent people I have met with greasy, slicked-back hair have been gear-heads. At least they have excuses for hair like that.
"American Psycho."
And, until now, I didn't think it was possible for a man to be a cunt. Live and learn…
If cunt is used as a derogatory term, then, yes, most men are cunts. So are a few women.
This Frank Foster guy, Rand Paul, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh – I can't think of a single woman who is a bigger cunt than any one of these guys.
Funny, that bitch looks like the kind of repressed freak who would have gone with "gash"
The sound of "Gash" doesn't carry as well across the street and over the sound of a lawnmower. "Cunt" is the appropriate word in that case. "Gash" or "slit" can be used in the Senate Chamber where there's better acoustics.
And "hole" is ambiguous.
The wimmin in Michigan oughta take a cue from Igor Stetkeywecz and just shut their traps, pie-holes and their c**nts, too. Also.
Yes, the great American poke-out.
If you ask me, Igor has no worries in that department, because he has never done it with a LayDee. Cows, horses, dogs, pigs, sheep, maybe, but LayDeez, never.
Foster Grants exemption for Republican men to describe dirty ladyparts.
Yes, but the results could be polarizing.
He does look like a shady character.
HurRAY! BANish him from the legislature!
Oh, let me venture a wild guess, Frankie is a Republican?
My pleasure.
http://www.gophouse.com/welcome.asp?District=107
Holy crap! A talking cunt!
My he's a supercilious-looking little pimple, isn't he?
When the page was loading, his picture was visible to me before the story itself, and I thought, "He's a bland-looking person", sort of like instant mashed potatoes. I'm still surprised when these generic, Dilbert-looking twats turn out to be assholes. I don't know why.
Well, I like cunts a lot. People often wish me well by saying: "Get fucked!" Maybe he didn't realize that it can be considered a derogatory term.
Me too. How could it possibly be insulting to call someone a name that refers to a warm, moist, heavenly, tasty, lickable … brb.
Was she mowing her lawn, or "mowing her lawn"?
If he'd called her a vagina, he would have been banned for two days.
And he did it in front of a 3 or 4 year-old boy. Teach 'em young, Frank!
The Michigan Nurses Association, demanding an apology is linked to his Wikipedia page.
If we don't teach our children how to disrespect women, who will?
The Catholic Church?
Oh, this wasn't a who else question?
Um… Hitler?
Ihor Stetkewycz?
"When reached at home Rep. Frank Foster, or as he is more affectionately known, 'F.U. Foster', said, "I did not use that derogatory slang "C" word referring to part of the female anatomy that starts with a 'V'. I was only telling her, 'Its Frank Luntz that is helping us sell the 'Protect Our Jobs' Act, you ignorant twat!'. Then as I walked back to the neighbor's house with the 3 year old boy I informed him, 'Prince Fielder cannot f*cking bunt, you little prick! Now, Eddie Gaedel, that runt just stood there like a candyass piece of shit holding that bat without so much as a grunt. Now get the f*ck home to your mom, little shit. I gotta go feed my autistic kid who lives in the f*cking basement digging tunnels around the f*cking neighborhood."
That is a classic rant, thanks!
Wait, so *which* one was the guy who caught the ball like he was buying a newspaper at the corner store?
And he did it in front of a 3 or 4 year-old boy."
Thank God.
It's important to teach all kids that Mommy is a stupid bitch, but *especially* boys; otherwise they might grow up into pansies instead of wife-beaters.
Well, I am *so* sure that Mr. Foster will likewise be subject to an indefinite speaking ban just like that mean old 'vagina' lady.
Wasn't the Michigan House Floor where they gagged a female lawmaker for saying "Vagina?"
Vaginal probes and cunt are certainly a more respectable and preferable use of verbiage when it comes to matters and concerns of half the population.
Yup. And the Speaker of the House, the dude who gaveled those two female Reps into silence and banned them, is the same dude who this nice LayDee is requesting ask this asshole up here for an apology. Chances are he'll call her a dumb cunt himself.
The article linked says that his official bio mentions nothing about him having any children, then he goes and produces one and claims the kid is autistic… what the hell?
I really think there's some RNC service out there that finds photogenic, Lifetime-original-movie-disabled children that are perfect to wave in front of a camera when you get caught looking like a dick.
He had to
go down the basement and get himmake his wife go down the basement and fetch him.I wonder which of the two is really the autistic one.
Neither. Autistic people are less likely to indulge in casual swearing than most, and the kid would've been freaked by the whole encounter if he *was* autistic. I suspect this asshole just borrowed the lady and kid from the house he was visiting.
Of course, by even replying to a comment that was a casual snark, I have now revealed *myself* to be on the spectrum, but hey, you probly guessed that already.
It's a Foster child. HAHAHAHAHA! I crack myself up sometimes.
Apparently, also at least nine other people, too. Also.
So no mention of kids officially, sounds like that other politician, from Staten Island who kept a secret other family in Virginia? Maybe? Also, Chase? Is that a name a person who really give a child? Unlikely. I wish Rep. Brown had used the word cunt instead of vagina in the House. That would have rocked.
There's a football player named Chase something. I don't know much about football, but I thought his name was fitting for his job.
Autistic from all of the lawn mowing.
Hope that cunt's happy now.
Michigan has one of the highest-paid, full-time state legislatures in the country, along with the strictest term limits in the country. You can see the kind of quality folk that are attracted to the job.
And for two years they have stood in the way of a big international bridge project that the Governor is finally moving forward on – without them! Most of these state legislators are not only rude, stupid and misogynistic, they are now irrelevant.
That's the bridge that Canada has offered to pay for in full, but is being blocked by a super rich dick who wants to get the exclusive contract for the construction. My Detroit-born friend says this guy intentionally shut down the Detroit rail just to decrease property values and to "show people how awful Detroit really is."
Does he also stab people with knives in order to "show them how awful open wounds really are"?
Sounds like an idea for his neighbors, if any are reading…
Not that we would ever advocate physical violence…
WINK.
Sounds like the kind of person who would, don't he?
You should know it won't end well if you use foul language when talking to a person whose very surname contains a euphemism.
That cunt.
Well, if it were Texas he would have driven across the street with a gun yelling "I am standing my ground" and killed everyone, so there's some consolation there for Michigan.
"Do you mind if I stand my ground in your lawn for a minute?"
"I YAM ASKEERT FER MY LIFE OF YER LAWNMOWER."
I believe a Michigander commenter recently informed me that his/her state *does* have a Stand Your Ground law.
Actually, if Foster had done that in Texas gentlemen from the neighborhood would have "convinced" him to apologize to the lady and probably seen to it that he finished cutting her lawn.
I hear yelling this word means you have a tiny, tiny- teeny tiny- dick.
Is this true? Cunt envy?
Frank Foster's website has a form where he invites us to "send someone a Certificate of Recognition", which will presumably be awarded by the Legislature.. There's no reason why we couldn't recommend Frank Foster for a Certificate of Recognition, for being such a cunt. Warblog?
I took your most excellent suggestion:
"I'd like Frank Foster to be recognized for being a liar (his bio says he has no children, he told Julia Smith-Heck he has a son) and for being a misogynist cunt."
For my address, I used the Michigan GOP HQ.
That's the spirit!
Good idea, I just sent one.
I'm SO in. Off to do mah dooty.
Someone from his office will be contacting a certain Ernest Giddens. Poor Mr. Giddens.
Thank you so much for sharing! She's all Growed Up! Her last pictures were so babyfaced and rounded, and now she looks like a Big Girl!I tweeted Frank Foster into the Twitterverse (using his Web site link from your post). He might be hearing from some not-so-nice nursey ladies soon.
What's that saying? Don't piss off nurses because we choose the size of the needles and catheters we stick in you?
I think that's it.
"Hi, I'm Sarah, I'll be your nurse. Oh, I know you. You're Frank Foster."
… and on second thought, this may hurt just a bit after all.
Hope he doesn't end up in the ER where the nurses recognize him.
Uh … oh, god, you're a nurse, aren't you? I swear to god I am nice to all nurses, ALL nurses ALL the time, I swear.
You better be. I have a #28 French with your name on it.
/the nurses will get that.
oh god i'm in trouble now (backs away bowing low)
You know the old saying, "You have a point – but if you comb your hair just right no one will notice"? Well, this smarmy-faced pimple-dick has evidently chosen to coif up his hair to accentuate it.
I could almost guarantee that by next year, he'll have that Gerber Baby-looking fauxhawk that all the trendy young fellas are rocking, and he'll look insufferably smug about *that*, too.
Sounds like someone else who "don't take no orders from no woman"
At least, not until his mom gets home.
I hope they didn't have a hot tub at their little get together. Think of the oil slick this guy would have left.
Ohhhhh, I think the oil slick is the *least* of the things that guy would leave in a hot tub.
Scabies?
Guy probably knows something about cunts. Looks like he uses KY Jelly for hair styling gel.
I suppose it *could* be…
Hey! The wife did that once.
Well, not KY, but lube, anyway.
That's about all he knows.
Sounds like a Michigander who needs a (painful) goose.
Looks like he pledged to Phi Kappa Prick
Or Phi Beta Krappa
I Phelta Thi.
pdog, you slut.
Tappa Kegga Bru.
He seems like the type who would knock back a few too many, before going out with the kid.
"Foster – Austrilian for douchbag!"
I have GOT to move out of this state. It's gone from a fairly liberal place to Michissippi.
"Gone"? Ypsilanti was known as "Ypsitucky" way back in the 80s.
Way back in the 60s, too. Yes, I'm dating myself.
Which is funny, because it's an unusually liberal city, not just for Michigan put in the country, at large. This city was one of the first to basically decriminalize use of marijuana (1970), elected the first Muslim in Michigan (1979) to their city council, the first city in the state to pass a living wage ordinance in the 90's, and one of the few cities in the state in the 90's to pass a human rights ordinance.
I've seen a lot of people ragging on the state, but I'd like to reiterate that apart from very recently, while Michigan may have it's fair share of bigots and general ne'er-do-wells, these folks are have generally not been awarded with power because of their views, whereas entire political parties in some states aren't afraid to run on their bigotry. If they get into power, here, it's generally been through deception or in individual districts.
Too bad he doesn't have Hannibal Lector as his neighbor. He'd have swallowed his own tongue by now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsjjNcIJQas
I think he needs to listen to this song, then.
Or perhaps this one.
It's a well known fact that using the word "cunt" creates jorbs.
Look it up!
Frank Foster hasn't seen a lady-part since he came out of his mom's.
Go take another shower Gretchen Carlson!
He shouted cunt from across the street, then hid in the back yard and had another light beer like a "real" man. What a douchenozzle.
Probly scared the laydee would kick his ass.
I've been watching a lot of British TV lately and it's all cunt this and cunt that. Cunt cunt cunt. They've even turned it into an adjective. Perhaps Mr. Foster has been watching too much BBC? Oh wait, I just looked at his picture. No, he's just an insufferable doucheface.
"Maria, our abbey is not to be used as an escape. What is it you cun't face?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EePtIkuy5lg
GET OFF YOUR LAWN!!!!
Well now that is one tough hombre there. I am pretty sure he is not getting any so he has to yell at women he disagrees with. Which based on his behavior would be pretty much all of them.
Did she feel threatened did she inform the august Representative to back off and that she was armed with a lawn mower. Because this confrontation could have ended with a good mulching.
She might be a LayDee Person of Colour, in which case she would've got the needle for mulching the sonofabitch.
Does Michigan have a Stand Your Lawn statute?
Ground, lawn. Same diff.
I thought we'd settled this with my somewhat oversharing post after my doctor checkup. the correct term is:
The Vault.
You really are asking for a long series of tasteless jokes, Tess. Don't get us started…
I awreddy made the one about "it's where you put the family jewels," Biely.
The grass in Michigan is just the right height.
I always thought "cunt" sounded like a vegetable: "Go get some celery, eggplant and 1/2 a cunt".
Georgia O'Keefe made a whole career out of confusing flora with vagina.
cunt
bunt
bunk
dunk
duck
dick
6 degrees of cunt
Clearly a follower of Ayn "Cunt" Rand.
He's got a mouth on him like a Teamster. Irony!
Common denominator among the Republigoons, especially the male ones, is they all feel morally superior to everyone and yet they are, to a person, among the dumbest assholes on earth.
+100
It's called, I believe, the Cunting-Doosher effect.
It's not even so much that they're dumb. Stupid people can't help being stupid.
It's that they're morally rancid doucheholes.
Well, I guess now we know who Ihor the flashing woodchopper is gonna be voting for.
What's that, Frank? You like to hunt? Good for you. What? Sorry, can't hear you. My lawnmower is too loud. Toodle-oo, See you in church.
You know, if Michigan isn't careful, it's gonna start to get a reputation.
Wait…
Is this the same Frank Foster who was going around raping all the neighborhood dogs?
I find this especially funny!
Well, he hasn't denied it.
Mm, yes. He must prove that he is not a Dog Rapist.
Obvy. He's not getting it from LadyPeeple, and he's gotta be gettin' it SOMEwhere.
OT, but on teh Wonkette Facebook page, out editrix has posted:
"Oh hi I am having a moving sale, 1162 S. Highland Ave,. LA. Come buy all my stuff!
Love,
Becca"
Hope you're not planning on skipping the country with all of last night's contributions, Commie Girl.
At least she worked hard for the money.
I hope she shouted back the only proper response: "You're a dick!"
Frank Foster is his hair's cunt.
For some reason I find that hilariously funny.
Your move, Kentucky.
I never thought of myself as a eugenicist, but if people stopped having sex with people like Frank, they'd be gone in a generation or two.
We could put them behind fences …
One generation of Frank Foster is enough.
Oh god, Buck v. Bell? Our esteemed Chief Justice. And it turned out she was just a poor woman, ignorant and uneducated, that's all. Fuck these people.
My mother had her first "breakdown" when she was teenager. She got shipped off to the state loony bin in Marion for a few months. I don't know how she avoided being forcibly sterilized but I do know she came close to having it done to her.
Our wonderful Commonwealth kept up the practice until 1979.
19-fuckin'79!!
The state didn't issue an apology for it until 2002 under then-guv Mark Warner.
ZOMG. (hugs Butch) I'm so glad she escaped, or we wouldn't have you to delight our days, m'dear.
It's simply disgusting how much the powerful abuse the powerless whenever they can. And the powerless succumb like sheep.
Everybody makes such a big deal about cists. Rush Limbaugh's anal cist, Eugenie's cist …
Luv the new avatar!
You little ground rats are really at it today, aren'tcha?
What a pussy.
The correct response from Ms Smith-Heck is "I'm made of rubber, you're made of shit. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Also you're made of shit."
Hi Jeff, welcome!
Now please learn about "Title Text"-ing your blog images.
Possible options for this image?
-See You Next Tuesday?
-Slicked Back Cunt?
-Douche-y Cunt?
-CUNT?
I vote for "Dick."
Stand your ground (er, lawn), Julia!
I have somehow managed to break the eph key on my keyboard, so please see my comment on the previous post which works just as well here.
Too many fucking comments about fucking fucketty fuckfaces, Fred?
Yes, but I don't think I am entirely at phault. I pheel that I was provoked. Or standing my ground or something.
Oh, absolutely, dood. The plethora of fucking fucketty fuckfaces available to us all through the kind offices of the internets is soon going to require keyboard makers to ship extra "f" keys with all keyboards.
That picture is of a man that craves one (or more) cocks in his mouth.
He looks cuntstipated.
The Wife once got into an argument with a nasty man who informed her at the end of it that "Lady, if you were a man, I'd hit you." This with his wife and child standing by screaming at him to quit it.
The Wife, who is the indisputable Mistress of the Laser Glare, turned both barrels on him, and replied, "If you were a man, you wouldn't need to."
I wish I could watch her mop the floor with this dick.
i know — you won't believe what Trump's people are finding.
You're right. I won't. What?
Damned if I know — Donnie's not saying. Yet.
The picture of vapid smugness, practically surpassing Eric Cantor levels. Truly a face made for punching.
He's the kind of tool who gets airbrushed before the picture is taken.
FYI, it's EClectablog, not ELectablog. : )
Michigan actually has laws against public profanity in the earshot of minors (young child was present.) I guess if he had called her a vagina he'd be facing a big-ass fine about now.
Keith Richards called Brian Jones a cunt and nobody got all bent out of shape.
Uh, yeah, uh, no, uh, y'know, I was just saying how… uh… y'know… how I could imagine that his neighbors might sometimes think something like that. Yeah, that was it. Y'know, because freedom.
You're always welcome, my dear. Let me know if a bowl of virtual chicken soup is also needed. I'd be happy to give you a real fresh homemade one, but I don't think you live nearby.
Change "stab" to "shoot" and I think you're standing your ground with your Second Amendment RIghts. Can a Constitional expert confirm this?
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