I have no idea what i'm saying at any timeHis lordship St. John McCain is all over the place this week, yelling about popcorn and pigs, on Twitter, demanding leak investigations, whining about how Obama never called him, and, well, how about a little rant about campaign finance now to top off the week? What does McCain, a top Mitt Romney surrogate, think about Sheldon Adelson, the guy footing the bill for Mitt Romney this year? “Much of Mr. Adelson’s casino profits that go to him come from his casino in Macau, which says that obviously, maybe in a roundabout way foreign money is coming into an American political campaign.” Ha ha, he just suggested that Romney’s candidacy is built on foreign money. How does John McCain have so few friends? Sorry, he wasn’t finished: “…We have to have a limit on the flow of money and corporations are not people.” Ohhhhhhhh Walnuts!

What’s funny is that he bothers to crap on Romney’s top money person, and he doesn’t even seem to be right? This is not one of those “he accidentally spoke the truth” gaffes — Sheldon Adelson, an American, makes money on overseas investments. That is not “foreign money,” as in foreign individuals or government agents making the donations. (Correct us if we are wrong, which never happens.)

McCain will probably be ordered to “clarify” this within the next hour or so. He’ll explain that he only meant to say Mitt Romney is an agent of the Communist Chinese government and that he hopes this puts the controversy to bed.

[Foreign Policy]

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  • Stevola

    Keep talking, John

  • Schmannnity

    Give it to McCain, he hates everybody!

  • Generation[redacted]

    Get off his lawn, America!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    McCain for president!!!!!!!!
    Oh, yeah, I forgot.

    • widestanceromance

      Betcha he hasn't.

      • freakishlywrong

        "Bitter, party of one?"

  • scvirginia

    Maybe what he meant is that the Adelson money is foreign to him, John McCain?

    • Terry

      John McCain himself may be foreign, having been born outside the US. According to the birthers, that's darn suspicious.

      • JustPixelz

        And he spent all that time in a communist country.

        • scvirginia

          Do you think those transmitters implanted in his cheeks still work? Nyah- probably been upgraded a few times since then…

      • Serolf_Divad

        Yeah, but Johnnie's daddy was in the Navy at the time, which, as far as the birthers are concerned, means that his actual birthplace is a trivial accident of happenstance. Spiritually speaking, his mom basically gave birth to McCain while straddling the Liberty Bell and waving the Star Spangled banner over her head (the crack in the bell can be explained by your Johnny's head whacking the thing on the way down).

  • sullivanst

    Were there any clouds yelled at? I bet $10,000 there were!

  • Doktor Zoom

    A guy born in Panama is a fine one to talk.

    • scvirginia

      ¡Es la verdad!

    • sullivanst

      Although a perfect surrogate for a Messican.

    • Vecchiojohn

      We used to own Panama in those days so it's the same as having been born in the USA

      • glamourdammerung

        Actually, we did not. The treaty was fraudulent which is why the children born there was later given naturalized citizenship through an act of Congress.

  • Tommmcattt

    Time to start looking into that home, Cindy.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      Which one? They have eight. That's more than Romney.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I'm assuming by "the home" you mean The National, amirite?

      • scvirginia

        Dude, I love that band…

  • anniegetyerfun

    Woah, woah, woah. Corporations as people is pretty much the mantra of the Romney campaign. Is Walnuts TRYING to get run over by a campaign bus?

    • The tour bus is gonna do some donuts on his lawn.

    • Callyson

      No, he just wants to be yelled at by the people on the bus–he's jealous of the attention Obama is getting from them.

  • Goonemeritus

    Mr. Adelson first spent $25 million attacking Mittens for being a pussy for not advocating a Nuke strike on Iran. Now after a sit-down with Mittens he has slid him $10 million. Time for another Daisy Ad?

    • Schmannnity

      In your gourd, you know he's a cyborg.

      • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

        …that means someone upgraded his firmware. Probably required before Adelson wrote anything.

    • 12X34X

      Right. This is a great way to get the one percenters to put money back into the economy. Adelson, for the record, is a giant tool.

    • In your heart, you know he's white.

  • freakishlywrong

    That picture will NEVER get old. Unlike cranky Gramps there.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    For the businesses that Bain purchased and re-tooled in China, the same could be said of Romney's money, too… so it's a wash.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Uhhh … Romney's money, and Romney's superPAC's money, both come from overseas, so it's a wash?

      I think Karl Rove has to get the word out that there's foreign billions coming to Obama (from Kenya, probably) before the media can call it a "wash" and tell us to just fuhgeddaboudit.

  • bumfug

    "Stop asking me shit, damn it – you know I get confused."

  • WhatTheHeck

    Does money from Macau turn a candidate into a Macaca?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Senility is so sad.

  • Barb

    Arizona, maybe it is time to take away McCain's drivers license.

    • JustPixelz

      How will he vote? Oh wait, that'll be a good thing.

      • Serolf_Divad

        In Arizona John McCain's lilly white complexion is his driver's license for the purposes of voter ID.

  • prommie

    Maybe McCain knows where Sheldon Adelson gets his money. The Israelis don't trust the schwartze to jump when they snap their fingers, and it irks them, ya gotta wonder how much money Israel is funneling to Romney. A cooperative billionnaire, thats good cover.

    • mavenmaven

      Adelson has more money than the whole state of Israel.

  • Katydid

    Isn't the bigger problem that one rich fuck is dtermined to buy the election for his guy?

  • flamingpdog

    Jeebus H. KeeRist, with friends like John McCain, the Mittster doesn't need enemies*. I hope Cindy gives him an extra hand job this weekend for being on the right correct side this time.

    *He does need enemies.

  • 12X34X

    Ordinarily I laugh at J. Mcain as much as the next person, but if a case could be made that Adelson's money is foreign money, the I am all for that.

  • CrunchyKnee


    Walnuts, never change. Unless you do. Then change.

  • Hera Sent Me

    This is what happens when the government underfunds programs to help brain-damaged war veterans.

  • spends2much

    I love the GOP- they literally all hate each other, in a way I find fascinating and fun to watch!

    • scvirginia

      You should come to SC, then. It's not like it's the Dems calling an ethics probe into Nikki Haley's lobbying habits…

  • Romney sez give this McCain fellow a twenty and that should keep him quiet.

  • What does ole Ham Biscuits have to say about this?

    • elviouslyqueer

      As soon as he gets McCain's cock out of his mouth, you'll be the first to know.

    • Not_So_Much

      He's busy declaring his love for the boys in the navy. Probably on yet another submarine hoping to have an experience with some seamen.

  • didgen

    Gahhh I'm blind! Again!

    • scvirginia

      For a mo, I thought I was at a basketball game: "I'm blind, I'm deaf, I wanna be a ref"…

  • mavenmaven

    Hey, I like this new McCain talk. Perhaps we might even start to like Meghan.

  • Schmannnity


  • Chichikovovich

    Let's not get too quick to dismiss here. After all, McCain was a war hero, lived in a box, [I learned all about it during the Republican convention back in '08] etc.

    Macau is a specially administered region of Communist China, and it sure would be easy to launder money through a casino. I'm not saying that is happening, of course, because how would I know, but it would really warrant detailed and open investigation for a few months. The American people deserve no less.

    • Doktor Zoom

      It would be only proper to look into it. What is he hiding?

      • Chichikovovich

        Exactly right. In fact, I've heard that Romney has already spent 20 million dollars on lawyers trying to keep people from looking into this. Why spend $20,000,000 if you have nothing to hide!!

  • flamingpdog

    Hey, Sheldon is just trying to bring money back to America from China. USA! USA! USA!

    Besides, Mitt is worth 250 million Ameros while Sheldon is worth 25 billion, so Sheldon's just trying to give a hand UP to the less fortunate!

  • keinsignal

    In much the same way that I disagree with Ron Paul on practically every single thing except ending the drug war, I will be happy for McCain to flap his senile gums for another hundred years as long as he keeps talking about the damage big money is doing to our democracy.

  • owhatever

    I'm holding off on this one until Megs flashes at least some side-boob to confirm it.

  • JustPixelz

    I think we should only allow foreign money to finance for our elections. We get everything else from China, why not campaign cash.

  • Beowoof

    Oh no could be McCain is going Maverick?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Maverick…horse's ass…hard to tell.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Or maybe Exploding Pinto

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Great, I have to choose between a Muslim, Chicago Commie and a Mormon, Chinese Commie. It is days like this that I just want to curl up in my bunker and gorge myself on MREs.

  • Toomush_Infer

    What do you mean, corporations aren't people????!!!!….if they're not people, what are they, huh?….Huh?….Oh….umm….well….well, never mind, then…..Mr. Adelson, can you please give Crankypants a couple of million, just to shut up, 'cause…..

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Great, is Romney going to go all Nomad on us and blow himself up from this logical contradiction?

  • JustPixelz

    In the early days of the United States, campaigning was not that expensive. But only property owners could vote. The reasoning was tenants and employees would be too easily coerced by their landlord or boss. In a sense people had to buy their way into the voting booth. Of course — with very few exceptions — only white men* could vote.
    * one or two states allowed widows to vote, if they owned property.

    • not that Radio

      Rick Scott just came when he read that.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Any sentimentalities from McCain about campaign finances in the wake of the semi-eponymous reform laws which spawned SuperPACs should be thrown. The. Fuck. Out.

  • If the government didn't build railroad lines, dams, and a middle class, Sheldon Adelson, alleged 'self-made man', couldn't have made a fortune fleecing same in Vegas.

  • Crank_Tango

    McCain is in the tank for Nobama. This is good news for McCain, of course.

  • widestanceromance

    In other words, Adelson hasn't responded to McCain's invite to a candlelight supper at one of his gracious homes. I bet if he offered his white daughter, Adelson would come.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Oh Magoo, you've done it again!

  • Dashboard Buddha

    OT: Daily Caller douchebag acts like douchebag. No one surprised.

    • AbandonHope

      This just in: dozens of Moron-American Facebookers agree with the interruption, but would've demanded the reporter be waterboarded as a domestic terrorist had he done the same to Bush II.

    • freakishlywrong

      Aaaaaaaaannd..a star is born. He is the new Breitbart.

  • not that Radio

    Breitbart offers this fun defense of SuperPACs, which basically follows the old Dick Cheney rationalization technique "it's not that bad, and I didn't do it anyway, but even if I did, [liberal boogeyman] did it, too"

    • MosesInvests

      It vasn't me, it vas sumvun else, und anyvay, I vas chust followink orders.

  • With surrogates like these who needs enemies?

  • neiltheblaze

    So – what should Obama call you, John?

  • Of course no one has ever laundered dirty money through a casino. Scorsese was just telling an imaginary story based on race memory and the effects of a bad tagliatelle al pomodoro.

  • Pithaughn

    Whereas McNutts got (gets ) his money the old fashioned way, an allowance from his wife, same way I do.

  • Eve8Apples

    Macau, Macaca, Obama — they all sound Kenyan to me.

  • Shit my old Senator says!

  • GregComlish

    But what do Megan McCain's breasts think about influx of foreign corporate political donations?

  • TribecaMike

    The New Yorker recently ran an informative piece about Macua, Adelson and organized crime:

  • redarmybarbie

    Well, credit earned where credit's due, he's only HALF wrong this time.

  • larrykat

    Sounds like he's still got a little Feingold in him.

  • CivicHoliday

    Poor old John. The truth just slips out sometimes, like urine in your Depends…

  • ttommyunger

    Only Walnuts could make Melanoma sound attractive.

  • TribecaMike

    I see you got your brand new Panamanian pill-box hat
    I see you got your brand new Panamanian pill-box hat
    Well, you must tell me, Johnny, how your head feels under something like that
    Your brand new Panamanian pill-box hat!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    You know how Bill Clinton was getting all that press recently, for shooting torpedoes in the general direction of the Obama campaign? I think McCain got jealous.

  • lulzmonger

    Needs more aircraft carriers on fire.

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