ouch my uvula

Brutal Dictator Barack Obama Rams Messican-Loving Dream Act Down Everyone’s Throat

Perhaps you remember that heady last week of the pre-Tea Party Congress, when Harry Reid pushed about 57 major pieces of legislation through the Senate. (Nancy Pelosi had already passed them all through the House in about the first day and a half, and still had time for a mani-pedi.) But the one major piece of legislation that did not pass? The DREAM Act, the one about those terrible Messican children who come here at age eight and have the nerve to want to go to college.

Well, here comes Barack Hussein NOBAMA to shove the DREAM Act down all our throats by using his executive powers in the form of an executive order telling DHS or ICE or Disney on Ice or whomever to stop deporting kids (under 30) who were here by the age of 16, and to give them work permits instead. TYRANNY! Stalin! Fidel Castro! Quick everybody, buy more guns!

What else could this brutal tyrannical dictator achieve by fiat with his iron fist? Oh, we thought of one. He could reschedule marijuana. (HAHA don’t be ridiculose.)

In the meantime, do you think all the ‘Spanics will stop being mad at Barack Obama for having actually increased deportations to an all-time high? We don’t know. You could ask one, or ask Peggy Noonan to ask one for you. [TPM]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • Schmannnity

    This is bad news for Mitt's current lawn service company.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Maybe not so much. The way things are going you're going to need a degree to get a job pushing a lawn mower around. Plus, you'll need advanced degrees to be eligible to run the tractor.

      (nope, not bitter about my job search. Not.bitter.at.all)

      • proudgrampa

        Dash, I feel your pain.

      • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

        One of the worst aspects of job hunting is knowing (or at least assuming) that online applications or resume scanners automatically kick out any applicant who isn't currently employed. I dropped at lot of applications into the black hole of nothingness. I was finally able to get myself in front of someone (my main skill is convincing someone to hire me–it is downhill from there) because he was a guy who had a connection with another guy.

        It is a total buyers' market for labor and it is really easy to get discouraged. Try to fight through it, DB.

    • eggsacklywright

      A Spaniard in the works?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Ha. It's not like this is going to stop Mexico from building a border moat and fence at the Arizona border.

    • nounverb911

      Well, the laborers are already here.

  • Barb

    If this pisses off Jan Brewer I am all for it.

    • Serolf_Divad

      If it means more apocryphal headless bodies in the Arizona desert I'm all for it, too.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      (Shirley Bassey sings:)
      Crone…finger!
      The Crone with the leather puss…
      Hates 'Bammy much!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Radio

      She just got a new wrinkle.

  • hagajim

    I like having Mexican rammed down my throat – especially the Quesedilla kind – yum!

    • Serolf_Divad

      So does Marcus Bachmann, oddly enough (not quesadillas, though… unless by quesadilla you mean cock.).

      • chicken_thief

        SHERIFF BABEU LIBELZ!!!!

    • new_pic_for_NEWTer

      … don't forget the tequila…

  • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

    Now, that's just downright irresponsible! I suppose all them kids'll be expecting minimum wage, too?!

    • kakotechnia

      Next thing you know, they'll want to go to college! Mercy!

      • Serolf_Divad

        My God I cannot imagine a thing that would undermine America's security and financial well-being more than having a bunch of college educated Mexicans walking around!

      • chicken_thief

        Or join the military. Oh, noz, oh noz!

  • Beetagger

    Praise Jesus. (He's out mowing my lawn now.)

    • nounverb911

      Send him over to my house when he's done.

  • nounverb911

    This is good news for the Yankees farm system.

  • Limeylizzie

    I'm thinking that the great minds of Campaign Romney will be throwing tacos at POTUS today.

    • nounverb911

      Who's taco?

      • sharethegrief

        Unidentifiable object. Does not compute.

    • Barb

      Sis, Sarah Palin is speaking in Vegas tonight. Todd will be able to get a hooker with teeth for a change.

      • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

        Not sure why teeth are an improvement, frankly.

      • chicken_thief

        For "a change" or for "some change" as in coined currency. I know times are tough in Vegas…

    • elviouslyqueer

      Or retooling the campaign bus horn to play "La Cucaracha."

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Romney thinks tacos are 7-11 sandwiches

  • didgen

    Finally.

  • nounverb911

    Wasn't Mitt dragged to the US from Mexico when he was a kid?

    • Serolf_Divad

      You can't be president with just a work permit, can you?

    • Groupshrug

      Mitt was conceived at a Tijuana donkey show

  • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    Democrats/Bammaz : Hispanic outreach with sensible policies

    Rmoney/GOP : Hispanic outreach by mistaking them for Asian people

    • nounverb911

      All poorz look alike?

      • Terry

        No, just the poorz with some pigment.

        • Serolf_Divad

          You forget: the mooslem poors don't eat pigment… or is it pig meat? I forget.

    • sullivanst

      Most Anglo ever rendition of Cielito Lindo by Rmoney in 3.. 2..

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      Sharron Angle is a web designer now?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

  • mavenmaven

    Of course that means that now Arizona redneck minutemen will start shooting up our colleges and universities, for freedoms.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      browns and science in the same place? I am surprised they hadn't thought of it yet.

    • MacRaith

      Arizona is planning to shut down all of its colleges and universities anyway, so they'll just be shooting at empty buildings.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    I can think of a couple of things I'd like our president to shove down my throat…

    • sullivanst

      ENDA?
      EFCA?
      DOMA repeal?
      Something stimulating?
      Hot chocolate?

      • An_Outhouse

        Free the Weed!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Mr. McCainachov – Tear down this dang fence!

  • kakotechnia

    Man, Obama is the best when he trolls the right wing for the sake of freedom. Commence countdown to GOP self-dick-punching!

  • IncenseDebate

    You know who else wanted the children of illegal immigrants to work in their country and not leave? Hint: Charlton Heston.

  • freakishlywrong

    Faux is going to assplode.

  • fawkedifiknow

    If overpaying for a college education is good enough for my kids, it's damn well good enough to do to the brown skinned types, too!!

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Since net immigration from Mexico has been zero for the past three years or so it is time to replenish the supply of docile semi-skilled labor.

  • neiltheblaze

    Oh-oh! Mitch McConnell will call him "Nixonian" again!

  • Goonemeritus

    Illegal Immigration down to zero. Attempts to restrict gun ownership zero. Increases in taxation less than zero. if you listen to talk radio the government is repopulating the country with illegals who will come and take your guns and the government will double taxes to pay for it.

    • PubOption

      I think all the talking heads are in a Rush to the bottom.

      • eggsacklywright

        In order to effect the buttsecks?

        • sullivanst

          With Dominican boys.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      Open your eyes, man!!!1!1!

  • Ryy

    Thank god! Mitt's family can stay!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    These campaigns are always so volatile, but…I love how just a few months ago gas prices were the topic and the fact that Obama was causing the rise in prices. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    You go Barrry! Give 'em hell!

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Etch-a-sketch on a week-by-week basis

      Bammaz 2012

  • Poindexter718

    ¿What's "cold election year pandering" in Mescin?
    (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

  • SaintRond

    Bienvenedos! Bienvednedos! y Salud! Salud! Just over the border from El Paso, I am the proud owner of what might be the dirtiest unisex toilet in the entire western hemisphere, nestled in the rear of a pulqueria which itself is behind a one of our three local public dead animal removal services.

    I invite every one of you motherfuckers to fill out an application to take over the duties of our janitor who killed himself last week by drowning himself in a bucket of Fabuloso, after some wag rolled in a severed human head through the door during Happy Hour.

    Peace… God bless….

  • BarackMyWorld

    Obama just wants to be able to go to Mexican restaurants.

    • neiltheblaze

      And to hold fund-raisers there.

  • Billmatic

    I'm going to have a rally against this bill at El Taqueria today at 3pm.

    Oh wait they just said no, hold on. I'm calling Mi Ranchito…brb

  • DalePues

    What chalupa!

  • Groupshrug

    Mitt is really going to have to put on a show to get the Hispanic vote now.

    I suggest he starts singing "Besame Mucho" at his next speaking event.

  • fartknocker

    Russell Pearce, the recalled State Senator from Aribama, just filled his man-diaper with poo upon hearing about this.

  • Selfish_T

    "Peggy Noonan Saw a Mexican" still gets my vote for best Wonkette headline ever.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    by using his executive powers in the form of an executive order telling DHS or ICE or Disney on Ice or whomever to stop deporting kids (under 30) who were here by the age of 16, and to give them work permits instead. TYRANNY! Stalin! Fidel Castro!

    It should be noted that Castro would not be deported from the US as long as he reached dry land.

  • lulzmonger

    Successful troll is very successful indeed.

    That weird high-pitched sound you hear is vast legions of shady businessmen across Teh Heartland whimpering like scalded bitches.

  • An_Outhouse

    Oh boy, fresh poutrage for the weekend! This should keep the anchor baby at Faux Noose frothing until Barry changes some other federal policy just for the entertainment value.

  • ttommyunger

    Fairness? Equity? Compassion? The Horror, the horror…….

  • e_z

    Now we get to see how much Rubio is willing to flip and flop to be on the ticket with Romney.

    As Mitt was for the Health Care tyranny before he was against it, Rubes was for Tyranny with his Dream Act Light which is highly similar to what Obama has now done.

    You want it Rubio, time to whore yourself up.

    • e_z

      Didn't take that long now did it? Wonder of having Mitt's mitt up his butt made it easier.

  • sati_demise

    Man, Obama got pissed at that reporter, so pissed he decided not to have a Q&A afterwards.

    Look at him stomp off. Damn!

  • sati_demise

    oh I am gonna go on liveblogging immigration op w/ Obama? He was mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore. Fucking RUDE reporter interrupts him, who the fuck was that anyway?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i'm all for barry ramming anything and everything down those mofo's throats.

  • not that Radio

    Breitbart offers a wonderfully retro Jessie Helms "White Hands"-style critique of Obama's DREAM Act announcement.

    OOGA BOOGA ILLEGALS STEALING JOBS FROM AMERICANS

  • CindynEncinitas

    Commie Girl, how many times do I have to correct you? It's Metsicans. Put down the bong and come down to Cardiff. I will buy you a beer myself and have one of my Metsican friends bring it to you!

  • fitley

    I'm sure gun sales are spiking in Goobervilles all over the US today.