OUCH MY UVULA  10:52 am June 15, 2012

Brutal Dictator Barack Obama Rams Messican-Loving Dream Act Down Everyone’s Throat

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Perhaps you remember that heady last week of the pre-Tea Party Congress, when Harry Reid pushed about 57 major pieces of legislation through the Senate. (Nancy Pelosi had already passed them all through the House in about the first day and a half, and still had time for a mani-pedi.) But the one major piece of legislation that did not pass? The DREAM Act, the one about those terrible Messican children who come here at age eight and have the nerve to want to go to college.

Well, here comes Barack Hussein NOBAMA to shove the DREAM Act down all our throats by using his executive powers in the form of an executive order telling DHS or ICE or Disney on Ice or whomever to stop deporting kids (under 30) who were here by the age of 16, and to give them work permits instead. TYRANNY! Stalin! Fidel Castro! Quick everybody, buy more guns!

What else could this brutal tyrannical dictator achieve by fiat with his iron fist? Oh, we thought of one. He could reschedule marijuana. (HAHA don’t be ridiculose.)

In the meantime, do you think all the ‘Spanics will stop being mad at Barack Obama for having actually increased deportations to an all-time high? We don’t know. You could ask one, or ask Peggy Noonan to ask one for you. [TPM]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 82 comments }

Schmannnity June 15, 2012 at 10:55 am

This is bad news for Mitt's current lawn service company.

Dashboard Buddha June 15, 2012 at 11:11 am

Maybe not so much. The way things are going you're going to need a degree to get a job pushing a lawn mower around. Plus, you'll need advanced degrees to be eligible to run the tractor.

(nope, not bitter about my job search. Not.bitter.at.all)

proudgrampa June 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

Dash, I feel your pain.

Chow Yun Flat June 15, 2012 at 11:44 am

One of the worst aspects of job hunting is knowing (or at least assuming) that online applications or resume scanners automatically kick out any applicant who isn't currently employed. I dropped at lot of applications into the black hole of nothingness. I was finally able to get myself in front of someone (my main skill is convincing someone to hire me–it is downhill from there) because he was a guy who had a connection with another guy.

It is a total buyers' market for labor and it is really easy to get discouraged. Try to fight through it, DB.

eggsacklywright June 15, 2012 at 11:17 am

A Spaniard in the works?

EatsBabyDingos June 15, 2012 at 10:57 am

Ha. It's not like this is going to stop Mexico from building a border moat and fence at the Arizona border.

nounverb911 June 15, 2012 at 11:00 am

Well, the laborers are already here.

Barb June 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

If this pisses off Jan Brewer I am all for it.

Serolf_Divad June 15, 2012 at 11:13 am

If it means more apocryphal headless bodies in the Arizona desert I'm all for it, too.

Chet Kincaid June 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

(Shirley Bassey sings:)
Crone…finger!
The Crone with the leather puss…
Hates 'Bammy much!

Designer_Radio June 15, 2012 at 1:26 pm

She just got a new wrinkle.

hagajim June 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

I like having Mexican rammed down my throat – especially the Quesedilla kind – yum!

Serolf_Divad June 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

So does Marcus Bachmann, oddly enough (not quesadillas, though… unless by quesadilla you mean cock.).

chicken_thief June 15, 2012 at 11:23 am

SHERIFF BABEU LIBELZ!!!!

new_pic_for_NEWTer June 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

… don't forget the tequila…

WABishop June 15, 2012 at 10:59 am

Now, that's just downright irresponsible! I suppose all them kids'll be expecting minimum wage, too?!

kakotechnia June 15, 2012 at 11:17 am

Next thing you know, they'll want to go to college! Mercy!

Serolf_Divad June 15, 2012 at 11:22 am

My God I cannot imagine a thing that would undermine America's security and financial well-being more than having a bunch of college educated Mexicans walking around!

chicken_thief June 15, 2012 at 11:24 am

Or join the military. Oh, noz, oh noz!

Beetagger June 15, 2012 at 10:59 am

Praise Jesus. (He's out mowing my lawn now.)

nounverb911 June 15, 2012 at 11:02 am

Send him over to my house when he's done.

nounverb911 June 15, 2012 at 11:01 am

This is good news for the Yankees farm system.

Limeylizzie June 15, 2012 at 11:01 am

I'm thinking that the great minds of Campaign Romney will be throwing tacos at POTUS today.

nounverb911 June 15, 2012 at 11:03 am

Who's taco?

sharethegrief June 15, 2012 at 11:08 am

Unidentifiable object. Does not compute.

Barb June 15, 2012 at 11:07 am

Sis, Sarah Palin is speaking in Vegas tonight. Todd will be able to get a hooker with teeth for a change.

iburl June 15, 2012 at 11:18 am

Not sure why teeth are an improvement, frankly.

chicken_thief June 15, 2012 at 11:26 am

For "a change" or for "some change" as in coined currency. I know times are tough in Vegas…

elviouslyqueer June 15, 2012 at 11:08 am

Or retooling the campaign bus horn to play "La Cucaracha."

Mittens Howell, III June 15, 2012 at 11:23 am

Romney thinks tacos are 7-11 sandwiches

didgen June 15, 2012 at 11:02 am

Finally.

nounverb911 June 15, 2012 at 11:05 am

Wasn't Mitt dragged to the US from Mexico when he was a kid?

Serolf_Divad June 15, 2012 at 11:18 am

You can't be president with just a work permit, can you?

Groupshrug June 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Mitt was conceived at a Tijuana donkey show

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 15, 2012 at 11:06 am

Democrats/Bammaz : Hispanic outreach with sensible policies

Rmoney/GOP : Hispanic outreach by mistaking them for Asian people

nounverb911 June 15, 2012 at 11:08 am

All poorz look alike?

Terry June 15, 2012 at 11:19 am

No, just the poorz with some pigment.

Serolf_Divad June 15, 2012 at 11:24 am

You forget: the mooslem poors don't eat pigment… or is it pig meat? I forget.

sullivanst June 15, 2012 at 11:14 am

Most Anglo ever rendition of Cielito Lindo by Rmoney in 3.. 2..

Chet Kincaid June 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Sharron Angle is a web designer now?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

mavenmaven June 15, 2012 at 11:08 am

Of course that means that now Arizona redneck minutemen will start shooting up our colleges and universities, for freedoms.

Maman June 15, 2012 at 11:17 am

browns and science in the same place? I am surprised they hadn't thought of it yet.

MacRaith June 15, 2012 at 11:27 am

Arizona is planning to shut down all of its colleges and universities anyway, so they'll just be shooting at empty buildings.

Dr_Zoidberg June 15, 2012 at 11:09 am

I can think of a couple of things I'd like our president to shove down my throat…

sullivanst June 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

ENDA?
EFCA?
DOMA repeal?
Something stimulating?
Hot chocolate?

An_Outhouse June 15, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Free the Weed!

OneYieldRegular June 15, 2012 at 11:09 am

Mr. McCainachov – Tear down this dang fence!

kakotechnia June 15, 2012 at 11:12 am

Man, Obama is the best when he trolls the right wing for the sake of freedom. Commence countdown to GOP self-dick-punching!

IncenseDebate June 15, 2012 at 11:12 am

You know who else wanted the children of illegal immigrants to work in their country and not leave? Hint: Charlton Heston.

freakishlywrong June 15, 2012 at 11:13 am

Faux is going to assplode.

fawkedifiknow June 15, 2012 at 11:14 am

If overpaying for a college education is good enough for my kids, it's damn well good enough to do to the brown skinned types, too!!

Chow Yun Flat June 15, 2012 at 11:16 am

Since net immigration from Mexico has been zero for the past three years or so it is time to replenish the supply of docile semi-skilled labor.

neiltheblaze June 15, 2012 at 11:18 am

Oh-oh! Mitch McConnell will call him "Nixonian" again!

Goonemeritus June 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

Illegal Immigration down to zero. Attempts to restrict gun ownership zero. Increases in taxation less than zero. if you listen to talk radio the government is repopulating the country with illegals who will come and take your guns and the government will double taxes to pay for it.

PubOption June 15, 2012 at 11:46 am

I think all the talking heads are in a Rush to the bottom.

eggsacklywright June 15, 2012 at 11:50 am

In order to effect the buttsecks?

sullivanst June 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

With Dominican boys.

Chet Kincaid June 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Open your eyes, man!!!1!1!

Ryy June 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

Thank god! Mitt's family can stay!

Jus_Wonderin June 15, 2012 at 11:21 am

These campaigns are always so volatile, but…I love how just a few months ago gas prices were the topic and the fact that Obama was causing the rise in prices. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

You go Barrry! Give 'em hell!

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 15, 2012 at 11:27 am

Etch-a-sketch on a week-by-week basis

Bammaz 2012

Poindexter718 June 15, 2012 at 11:22 am

¿What's "cold election year pandering" in Mescin?
(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

SaintRond June 15, 2012 at 11:38 am

Bienvenedos! Bienvednedos! y Salud! Salud! Just over the border from El Paso, I am the proud owner of what might be the dirtiest unisex toilet in the entire western hemisphere, nestled in the rear of a pulqueria which itself is behind a one of our three local public dead animal removal services.

I invite every one of you motherfuckers to fill out an application to take over the duties of our janitor who killed himself last week by drowning himself in a bucket of Fabuloso, after some wag rolled in a severed human head through the door during Happy Hour.

Peace… God bless….

BarackMyWorld June 15, 2012 at 11:42 am

Obama just wants to be able to go to Mexican restaurants.

neiltheblaze June 15, 2012 at 11:48 am

And to hold fund-raisers there.

Billmatic June 15, 2012 at 11:43 am

I'm going to have a rally against this bill at El Taqueria today at 3pm.

Oh wait they just said no, hold on. I'm calling Mi Ranchito…brb

DalePues June 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

What chalupa!

Groupshrug June 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Mitt is really going to have to put on a show to get the Hispanic vote now.

I suggest he starts singing "Besame Mucho" at his next speaking event.

fartknocker June 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Russell Pearce, the recalled State Senator from Aribama, just filled his man-diaper with poo upon hearing about this.

Selfish_T June 15, 2012 at 12:30 pm

"Peggy Noonan Saw a Mexican" still gets my vote for best Wonkette headline ever.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 15, 2012 at 12:52 pm

by using his executive powers in the form of an executive order telling DHS or ICE or Disney on Ice or whomever to stop deporting kids (under 30) who were here by the age of 16, and to give them work permits instead. TYRANNY! Stalin! Fidel Castro!

It should be noted that Castro would not be deported from the US as long as he reached dry land.

lulzmonger June 15, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Successful troll is very successful indeed.

That weird high-pitched sound you hear is vast legions of shady businessmen across Teh Heartland whimpering like scalded bitches.

An_Outhouse June 15, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Oh boy, fresh poutrage for the weekend! This should keep the anchor baby at Faux Noose frothing until Barry changes some other federal policy just for the entertainment value.

ttommyunger June 15, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Fairness? Equity? Compassion? The Horror, the horror…….

e_z June 15, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Now we get to see how much Rubio is willing to flip and flop to be on the ticket with Romney.

As Mitt was for the Health Care tyranny before he was against it, Rubes was for Tyranny with his Dream Act Light which is highly similar to what Obama has now done.

You want it Rubio, time to whore yourself up.

e_z June 19, 2012 at 8:30 am

Didn't take that long now did it? Wonder of having Mitt's mitt up his butt made it easier.

sati_demise June 15, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Man, Obama got pissed at that reporter, so pissed he decided not to have a Q&A afterwards.

Look at him stomp off. Damn!

sati_demise June 15, 2012 at 2:27 pm

oh I am gonna go on liveblogging immigration op w/ Obama? He was mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore. Fucking RUDE reporter interrupts him, who the fuck was that anyway?

fuflans June 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm

i'm all for barry ramming anything and everything down those mofo's throats.

not that Radio June 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Breitbart offers a wonderfully retro Jessie Helms "White Hands"-style critique of Obama's DREAM Act announcement.

OOGA BOOGA ILLEGALS STEALING JOBS FROM AMERICANS

CindynEncinitas June 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Commie Girl, how many times do I have to correct you? It's Metsicans. Put down the bong and come down to Cardiff. I will buy you a beer myself and have one of my Metsican friends bring it to you!

fitley June 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I'm sure gun sales are spiking in Goobervilles all over the US today.

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