You really are not as smart as you think you areAs we noted the other day, unaccredited Kentucky doctor Rand Paul is using this farm bill debate as an opportunity to cement himself as the most annoying and disingenuous member of Congress via a slew of unrelated and/or dumb amendments that go nowhere and waste everyone’s time, but do allow Paul to release more self-righteous columns wanking about his stupid ideology. Food stamps, for example, are on the to-tweak list with this farm bill. The simple solution here would seem to be “don’t cut a goddamn cent from it,” but, well. You know. As of now the bill would cut $4 billion over ten years from SNAP by targeting “fraud.” Rand Paul’s amendment, which thankfully was killed, would have targeted “fraud” by… ending the program entirely and sending a little bit of cash to the states, who could use it to throw a Twizzler or two at the hobos a few times a year (or to simply fill their budget holes/offer corporate tax breaks, because no one’s accountable for shit anymore.)

“Fraud,” in terms of its political grandstanding use, is a favorite word of those who despise poor people and would like to make their lives more miserable. Think of that bankruptcy reform act in 2005, one of the most purely evil pieces of legislation passed in our lifetime, that was all sold on the basis of “fraud.” There were too many fraudsters out there — an EPIDEMIC of CROOKS! — maxing their credit cards out and then declaring Chapter 7 and having those debts forgiven and this HAD TO BE STOPPED AT ONCE. Now it’s nearly impossible for anyone to declare Chapter 7, dump debt, and restart, for whatever purpose — just as the credit card companies and banks had hoped it would be. “Fraud” is a nice little crime-fighty-sounding case to make when you’d rather not just say “we the creditors want to own you for life.”

Republicans will also use “Medicare fraud” to argue that Medicare should be destroyed. There is a not insignificant amount of fraud in Medicare. But it is not a cost-driver in the program. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU NEED TO END MEDICARE AND GIVE COUPONS OUT AND WHATEVER. Besides, the Republicans always going on about FIGHTING FRAUD never quite put it together that, sure, we can do that, but it requires hiring more government employees and expanding federal offices, which is socialism.

Universal, accessible programs will always have some inefficiencies and certain determined individuals will find ways to get bennies for which they are not qualified. If you want the program to exist than you will live with this relatively minor trade-off. If you don’t want the program to exist, you will scream about FRAUD! all the time while insisting that you don’t hate the poor people that you hate.

Rand Paul’s strategy with food stamps, though, is more clever (for the first three seconds after you hear it until you realize what he’s up to.) A report came out — Tom Coburn put it together, maybe? — about how some rich people had managed to get food stamps through FRAUD, and that’s why it’s so necessary to add layers and layers of restrictions to SNAP. Or in Rand Paul’s case, it’s these few rich fraudsters on the rolls that necessitate *the end of the program* and a replacement of half-value blockgrants to the states, because… there is no corruption in state governments?

Ahead of the vote, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) said the amendment was not meant to turn a cold shoulder on the country’s poor — rather, it was meant to cut down on abuse of the food stamp program.

“Should you buy junk food on food stamps? Should you get to go to McDonald’s on foodstamps?” Paul asked. “It’s out of control. It’s not about helping those in need. It’s about being wise with the taxpayer dollars, it’s about being wise with the taxpayer dollars and not giving people $20,000 a year in food stamps. We need to give it only to people who can’t work, those who are in need, and those who are not able bodied. But we’re giving it to millionaires.”

Under Paul’s amendment, each state would be allowed to decide how to apportion funding to the block grant system as long as the respective states followed a specific formula. According to Paul’s office, $322 billion would be saved through the amendment.

Rand Paul, of course, does not really care about waste and fraud in safety net programs. His goal is not to “tidy them up.” He thinks these programs lead to a lifetime of dependency and decaying morals and people never learning to take personal responsibility. He longs for that day when poor people will be left completely on their own, at which point they can begin to develop Character. Any other excuses he makes when he inserts these amendments to destroy programs are works of FRAUD.

[The Hill]

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  • PuckStopsHere

    Do you know what else I would like to see "thankfully killed?"

    • Chichikovovich


      • PuckStopsHere

        I was thinking more along the lines of the BCS or the NBA Draft Lottery, but yeah, let's go with that, Pamela.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      $4000 schlocky giclee-on-canvas Breitbart-beatifying art?

      Oh, wait. Never mind.

    • Schmannnity

      Housewives of [city name here]?

    • bikerlaureate

      Fox News' satellite feed?

    • Callyson

      Jamie Dimon?

    • Buckminster


  • OzoneTom

    I buy Beluga Caviar and Italian Truffles with my Food Stamps.

  • Steverino247

    Hey, how about having your family members getting six figure incomes for working on your political campaigns in seats you can't lose. Sound like FRAUD to you?

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      That's not fraud. That's keepin' with your Randian limited government principles.

  • Estproph

    We wouldn't have all these problems with those dirty poor people if they would just mind their place like they are supposed to, and quit expecting luxuries like food, air, and water.

    • DustBowlBlues

      It's like the Rs outrage at the asshole survey of how-poor-is-poor. You remember–people under the poverty level had teevees, refrigerators, toaster ovens (I made up that last one). Of the vast array of a half-dozen bottom dwelling luxury items, not every poor person owned all of them but still, they're just buying chips and non-perishable dip to go with them, so wtf? Those people don't even NEED refrigerators.

      The right wing won't be happy until the little people are living the way their class live in Calcutta.

  • Barb

    Jim, yours is an excellent article and I appreciate it.

    I do know a millionaire who is collecting welfare, etc. and doesn't pay taxes. He emailed me a few weeks ago and told me that his wife had multiple surgeries and I asked what the deductible on THAT would be. He wrote back and told me that his wife tells the government that he doesn't live there and she gets food stamps and her surgery was paid for by the state.

    I got so pissed that I shared the email with Limey Lizzie. I would never dream of turning anyone in for this fraud. Lizze told me that people who do this have to brag about it and they will get caught one day.

    It's a shame that a few people have to ruin it for people who really deserve help and appreciate the benefits.

    I would love to find the person on Facebook who started the poll: Should Welfare Recipients Have to Take a Drug Test? and I would kick the Facebook jerk in the ballz.

    • Limeylizzie

      That friend of yours is a first-class jerk!

      • Barb

        Wasn't that shit shocking? He avoids paying taxes by getting paid for the software that he creates through Pay Pal, $10.00 a pop and he doesn't bother filing taxes. He travels to Dallas football games in a limo. He's been doing this for ten years now.

        • PuckStopsHere

          And you would never dream of turning them in why, exactly? He's screwing me, you know, and I don't like it. Drop me a line and I'll drop the dime.

          • Barb

            Puck, it gets worse. For ten years of my life I've been sitting at my computer, debugging his software-FOR FREE. He sends it over and I become his little chimp. I stopped speaking to him.

        • Chichikovovich

          See! Cowboys fans are jerks!

          [P.S. – good luck and good fun in the poker tournament! Flash lots of cleavage at the nerdy engineering students at the table and you can't lose.]

          • Barb

            Thanks Chich!

          • PuckStopsHere

            That wouldn't be the voice of experience speaking by any chance would it Chich?

          • Chichikovovich

            In fact I was a nerdy math student, not engineering, and …Um, I mean, no, of course not. What are you talking about?—

        • Limeylizzie

          It really is appalling.

        • sullivanst

          He avoids paying taxes by getting paid for the software that he creates through Pay Pal, $10.00 a pop and he doesn't bother filing taxes.

          Uh, it's not so much that he avoids paying them that way, it's more that he conceals his felony evasion using that technique.

          I'd shop the guy in a heartbeat. He's a fucking parasite. Of course, the douchebag can use all the money he stole from all of us to hire some smarmy dickwad in a Brooks Brothers suit to make sure he doesn't have to (A) pay back said money, plus penalties and interest, and (B) spend several years in jail, which is what the plain language of the law says should happen.

          • Barb

            Sullvanst, I agree. Thanks!

          • sullivanst

            You're welcome.

            And, a few deep breaths later, my blood is down to a mere simmer, and I didn't hear anything go pop in my brain – huzzah!

    • DustBowlBlues

      Okay, here's how it is, ladies. You two have a secret friendship that you didn't expose to the riff-raff on wonkette. What's it going to take for me to get into your diva circle? Being the United Methodist (I almost abbreviated it as Meth, which is totally not what I meant).

      I hate these fuckers who lie and get away with it. Before the IRS was cut to shit by the Republitard dickwads, O'Bama had hired many more auditors. Instead of hounding taxpayers receiving the Earned Income Tax Credit, they were going after big money people. Republithugs can't waste money on that–they had enough auditors left to go back to hounding Joe Blow while Ugly Addelson (sp) buys the WH for Mittens.

      • Barb

        I would love for you to be in on the circle, Dust!

        I hate people who don't pay their bills. I've had the same cell phone number for 18 months now and I am still getting bill collector calls for the guy who had the number before me. Oddly enough, bill collectors don't take reason for an answer and they keep calling.

        • sullivanst

          My understanding is they do tend to take threats of legal action for an answer ;)

          "Is this Bob?"
          "No. Are you familiar with the legal meaning of the word 'harassment'?"

    • Fare la Volpe

      Barb, why do you tell me these things!? I was having such a nice day, applying for jobs, buying discount clothes from a thrift store, and using my house's food stamp card to cook dinner for my three-person apartment — tonight is going to be penne with generic Preggo. I was even going to treat myself to a little day-old cookie from the local baker and ask if the market across the street will give me a deal on their past-shelf-date milk (it's good for a week, I swear).

      Now I gotta think about that rich fuck being a fuck and cheating the program that is keeping me and mine alive, and barely so, all so he can get out of paying taxes on his ill-gotten riches. I hope you and Jeff can find the time to tie him up out in the desert and leave him. And I hope his wife's stitches pop too!

      • Barb

        You buy the day old milk? I do that all the time! They mark a gallon down to 50 cents at my local market and I get some marked down buttermilk to go with it and make ricotta from scratch.

        We were so poor as a child that I was 17 before I tasted real orange juice, swear to God. I don't recall ever having real fruit or veggies. I know that the church gave us all rock candy and fruit at Christmas time.

      • James Michael Curley

        Back in leaner days, and before the World Trade Tower came down; I would cross over to the mall and buy a couple gallons of milk that was on its last day and down to $1.00 a piece. Putting it in a bag and getting back to Jersey it had two days left on the expiration date.

        I tried this with trying to stop the assassination of JFK but it only works for milk.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    They should combine the food stamp program with the lottery. "Yay, I won food to keep me from starving for the next week!"

    That would be exciting and make for compelling television viewing for the rest of us, and isn't that what is truly important?

    • OurHoboSenator

      The Hunger Games!

    • Buckminster

      A true "Hunger Games!" I approve!

  • Schmannnity

    Fraud = the nigras.

    • PuckStopsHere

      I believe the currently correct usage is "teh blahs".

      • Schmannnity

        Not among his constituents.

        • PuckStopsHere

          Good pt.

  • poorgradstudent

    Step off, Rand Paul. Not all of us are rich because our daddies formed a cult to constantly rip off.

  • Goonemeritus

    I think he’s on to something but he’s thinking to small why not target the defense budget this way. We could zero it out on a national level and let the states fund the amount they think is appropriate. Having Vermont right next door I know New York will militarize at least that border.

    • gullywompr

      Oh that is brilliant! Gonna have to use that one next time I'm forced to talk to a bagger.

    • Callyson

      California – Arizona border: build that danged fence!

  • finallyhappy

    $20,000 in food stamps? people get maybe $250 a month here- and that is a maximum. Lying bastard

    • Fare la Volpe


    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      "The average amount of CalFresh benefits received per household is about $200 per month. "

      That's the California SNAP program.

      $200 x 12 = $20,000. Paul Ryan math.

      • sharethegrief

        You should see Rand Paul's eye chart.

        • DahBoner


          • Fukui-sanRadioBarb


  • Sassomatic

    The problem here is that food-stamps allow poor people to not be totally miserable and desperate at all times, as they should be.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Oh, I don't know about that. It's fucking hard to live on food stamps and I'd imagine that existence to be pretty damn misery-filled.

      Of course, that's not quite miserable enough for Republicans.

      • Clearly, poverty is somehow equated with moral failing, and one cannot do too much to convey one's distaste for these moral failures otherwise known as Teh Poorz. Meanwhile, most Americans can't find sympathy in their hearts for their (fellow) poor because, at least in their own minds, they're not poor, they're merely temporarily financially distressed. A delusion they will take with them to the grave.

        • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

          Virginia State Del. Chris Stolle, R-Virginia Beach, proposes that the word "poor" has left-wing political connotations and recommends the term be changed to "recurrently hungry"

          • The snark, it drips and burns!

          • Sassomatic

            May I suggest then that the politically-loaded term "rich" be replaced with "recurrently greedy."

          • bobbert

            perpetually greedy

          • Also, too.

          • Why, how appropriate!

        • sullivanst

          It's just RWNJ lodjick:

          Everyone who's rich deserves to be rich.
          Therefore, everyone who deserves to be rich, is rich.
          Therefore, everyone who's poor deserves to be poor. *

          So fuck the poor.

          * except for meeeeeeee. I am gonna be rich because I'm The Best At Everything EVAH!. DERP!

          • Even as they serve as perfect illustrations of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

  • elviouslyqueer

    He thinks these programs lead to a lifetime of dependency and decaying morals and people never learning to take personal responsibility.

    Gee Jim, if I didn't know you were writing about safety net programs, I would swear this sentence was about bankers.

    • Limeylizzie

      Perfect EQ, just perfect.

    • scvirginia

      Or autobiographical. Or both.

    • Callyson

      Or oil company executives, or politicians, or…

      …aaaand I have to wait seven more hours before I get my drink on. Crap…

    • DustBowlBlues

      "I would swear this sentence was about bankers."

      That's Job Creators to you, elvis.

  • fartknocker

    This goat fucker wants to eliminate a very useful program for the poor. Yet, look at the tasty fine dining that you and I as taxpayers get to pay for:

    • PuckStopsHere

      The Senate Dining Room? What a joke. What's it open, like four days a year? Just like the Senate itself.

  • Would it be abusive to get Senator Rand's attention on fraud by smacking him upside the ear with a $1,000 military-approved aeroplane toilet seat?

    • Steverino247

      I think you would prefer 100 rounds of 7.62mm ball. It costs far less. And yes, both would be abusive and are therefore not recommended.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Poor Rand (& the rest of the GOP): the poors are really harshing his mellow. (Well, the black and brown ones, anyway.)

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I love it when people who were born with a not insignificant number of silver spoons in their mouth get all character-y about folks who are less well off then they.

    • ph7

      Reminds me of my privileged sister in law's rant about the food stamp using woman at the grocery store who also had a cell phone. Because, you know, the poors have to choose between eating and using a modern communication device.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        There's a thing going around Facebook about wouldn't it be nice to have an ipad/iphone/tin-can-onna-string like the food stamp using chick ahead you.

      • sullivanst

        Because of course it's not like you could possibly get cell phone service for $20/mo when Verizon's "value" landline costs $48/mo plus a bajillion taxes, fees and surcharges.

    • Callyson

      Especially when:

      According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, 30 percent of the children and 22 percent of the overall population of Kentucky lived under the poverty line in 2008-2009.

      Fighting against your own constituents' interests, how Paultarded….

  • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    There's an awful lot of fraud in the military procurement process.

    I propose that we end this wasteful government program and give individual soldiers vouchers to use at certain outlets. Naturally, the vouchers won't cover the full cost of an M4 and the ammunition AND a bullet-proof vest, but that's the free market for you.

    Bootstraps, soldiers. Invisible hand. Character.

    • Steverino247

      That's more true than you think. During our little Iraq adventure, there was insufficient ammunition to train and qualify trainees with the weapons they would need to defend themselves just a short time later. There were also troops in the field that were carrying the amount of ammo a civil war soldier would find sufficient (e.g., sixty rounds per man) but not someone carrying a semi-automatic weapon. During the Cold War (when I served), we were awash in ammo and the Army was much larger than today.

      And speaking of which, Happy 237th Birthday to the United States Army. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you from invading Iraq. Come home safe, all of you.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Only semi-related, but I am reminded of Patrick O'Brien's "Master & Commander" series, in which Royal Navy ships were allocated only a certain amount of gunpowder and cannonballs, and so, in order to get his gunners trained to his satisfaction, Cpt. Jack Aubrey buys extra stores, including a bargain-priced consignment of gunpowder from a fireworks manufacturer that's gone bankrupt. The resulting blue, green, and red explosions from the cannon during practice were cheerful for all.

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        Sadly enough, it was also true of the British: the lads would be buying alternative desert boots since the issued ones were crap, and a good lot of people were sent over with inadequate body armour. Shocking.

        • James Michael Curley

          When I was in Vietnam the Nixon administration was raking Ted Kennedy over the coals because he had called for and started investigations into why so many M-16's were miss firing. In Vietnam isfyou had the money and the guts to venture into a very dangerous world of black market weapons many GI's bought AK-47's. However, if you were found with one (to use a popular idiom of the time) your ass was grass.

          However, young Mr. Curley and a friend once took a M-16 and an AK-47 out to the range a couple hundred yards off the base. Although anecdotal, we started slapping magazines into the M-16 as fast as we good and it misfired after the four or fifth magazine. Thinking it needed cleaning we cleaned it only to find the problem was the barrel had warped.

          Next came the AK-47 for which we had the forty round banana clips and five or six of them. Still firing after all clips were expended. After reloading the clips and discussed maybe it needs to be dirty so we threw it into a rice paddy, fished it out and got the same results – two hundred to tow hundred forty rounds straight through without a miss fire.

          I really think the reason was that the AK-47 was a crude machine and the M-16 was over teched.

          • Not that it makes any difference WHY it misfired when you're standing in front of one.

          • Doktor Zoom

            See also CJ Chivers' The Gun, an excerpt of which can be found here

          • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

            I've read this book on the AK-47 and know a little about it.

            One of the problems with the AR15/M-16 was that it's a direct gas reload mechanism. From wikipedia: "Combustion gases travel via a gas tube above the barrel directly into a chamber in the bolt carrier behind the bolt itself, pushing the carrier away from the bolt." – this means that residue from the cartridge eventually clogs the mechanism.

            The AK-47, in contrast, uses a piston – so the problem doesn't occur.

            Apparently, the main reason troops weren't supposed to use the AK in the field in Vietnam is because it's got a very distinctive sound and if you start using them instead of the M16 then you've got a good chance of attracting friendly fire.

            'course, I've only read the book, whereas you were actually there.

      • James Michael Curley

        What really made me go balistic over this issue was that the company that got a triple the price premium to ramp up production of Kevlar Flack Vests has a CEO who contributed $350,000 to the falsely named "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth" and the brother in law of Ben Ginsberg a lawyer retained by George W Bush and Dick Cheney's 2000 campaign who represented the campaign in Bush v Gore and had to resign from the 2004 Bush/Cheney campaign because he had advised both Jerome Corsi and the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Almost two years later they still had not produced a vest because their resources were locked up in the production of armour plate for Humvees.

  • el_donaldo

    We can end fraud completely by screwing the whole damn economy so that no one has anything for anyone to cheat them out of. Is that what Paul wants?

    After that, there's only fighting over the remaining scraps, but, hey, that's at least honest.

    • scvirginia

      Hobbes, is that you?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Welcome to Thunderdome…may I take your order?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    See, if we would just turn the poor into Soylent Green, it would solve all the problems.

    • You know quite well we're not fit for human consumption.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I hear the poor can be chewy, but that is why you use food stamps and Modern American Factory Food to soften them up.

        • Heavy metals, transfat, tumours, high levels of toxins …

  • Dashboard Buddha

    They should just put the poors behind barbed wire until they die off. Oh wait…was that the gheys?

    • Poorz, Gheyz, Culludz. Eventually they'll have the rest of us trimmed down to the minimum number needed.

      • Callyson

        Uppity womenz (they'll keep the docile ones) and immigantz too…

        • Oh, it's sounding more Handmaid's Tale-y by the minute, darlz.

  • This contrived attitude about "Just clean up the FRAUD, saving us billions!" is akin to the notion among school reformers we just "need to 'clean up' the failure rates and truancy" or Christianese "Clean up the sin/ washed with the lamb's blood!" as if it were a pest to target with Raid. Simply conceived, and I'm aware unemployment bennies fraud is being ritually identified and addressed in my own state gov't and I applaud that. But the active ingredient with fraud's success is "Deception" — like cheaters in school and parishioners snoozing through the pastor's nth rereading from their favorite Old Testament charmer: if you don't understand deception is at the root of human ills and it works *both* ways, your rhetoric remains snakebitten.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Does lamb's blood work on grease stains? I have these really great jacket that I want to wear again, but I dropped a French fry on it.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Can we have more cool black pastors saying uplifting stuff?

    • scvirginia


    • anniegetyerfun

      Here is a story about two black churches in the Seattle area, one of which is awesome and whose pastor is speaking out in favor of gay rights (contrasted with another church, of course, where the pastor is all, "Don't question the Bible, child.").

      It's a little less call-and-responsey, but I keep thinking about it.

      ETA: I am obviously not the Annie in the story, as I am as white as a Game of Thrones character.

      • Steverino247

        But are you as white as a Game of Thrones PLAYER?

        Didn't think so.

        • anniegetyerfun

          Oh, no, I'm not a virgin.

  • OldWhiteLies

    I shall yield my time to the undistinguished INSUFFERABLE WANKER from KY, so that he can further continue to demonstrate his keen ability to dismiss and mock as so much nonsense, any and all of our society's painfully meager attempts to care for all it's citizens. Perhaps doing so shall allow enough of his constituents the opportunity to indeed witness for themselves just how inelequent an UNCARING SHITBAG he truly is. No, Sir, by all means, DO carry on, because your astounding lack of human decency renders me near speechless. No, I'll just sit down over here and try desperately not to vomit.

    • sullivanst

      The true obscenity is that saying that would get you kicked from the chamber, but Rand's spew is completely within the rules.

      • OldWhiteLies

        Rereading my comment, I'm now feeling guilty for having libeled insufferable wankers everywhere.

        • sullivanst

          It's OK, on behalf of my kind, I forgive you ;)

  • HogeyeGrex

    "We need to give it only to people who can’t work, those who are in need, and those who are not able bodied. But we’re giving it to millionaires.”

    Here I have to agree with DoucheTastic. Perhaps this means we need to end all the corporate welfare like oil subsidies and the effective corporate tax rate of zero, not to mention the capital gains rate being so much lower than that for actual, y'know, earned income. Indeed. Sing it Sister Paul. We're giving far too much to those millionaires.

    Oh. Wait. That's not what you meant?

    Ah. Well, I suppose it's back to "Fuck you with a rusty Garden Weasel" then.

  • metamarcisf

    In Albuquerque it's quite common to see millionaires holding up cardboard signs by I-25 on-ramps that say things like "Will work for repealing Dodd-Frank"

    • Blueb4sunrise


  • shortsandpants

    "We must depend on a FREE market…" where ironically everything costs too much and people are slapped around by an invisible hand. Bitch slapped, to be exact.

  • mavenmaven

    Paul wants us to take our boot heels off the neck of BP and put it square down on the throats of America's poor.

  • Indiepalin

    Rand Paul is livid over rumors linking him to cattle mutilations in the southwest.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      The Kochacabra?

    • Schmannnity

      Has he even denied it?

    • GlowneyHouse

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Rand is against big government regulations and interference and such — so he wants to give the money and responsibility to the states, which will be forced — with their lower revenues and non-pooled law-enforcement and overhead — to do the same level of policing of the program that the federal government is now unable to do.

    Bullshit — if Senator Paul wants to fix a problem, he can appropriate more money to the Fed to use to enforce the laws rather than devolve the responsibilites to states that are less capable. In this case, he's facilitating fraud, rather than preventing it.

    But then a guy who formed his own certification agency to accredit himself and who gets huge amounts of money from his patients on Medicare probably already knows that.

  • Seattle Wonketteers, we've talked about getting together. There were several who asked for Saturday night rather than weekday. I'll check at the Latona Pub tonight about availability of their upstairs on Sat 6/30 and Sat 7/7. Please post which date would work better for you for an unofficial Seattle gathering.

    • anniegetyerfun

      6/30 for me, please. Although I'd try to make either, I'm pretty sure that I have some BBQ thing on the 7th.

      *Mind you, I can't drink more than a single, lady-like glass of wine, so I will be no fun at all anyway.

    • OldWhiteLies

      I'm good for either. And I'll happily take up AGYF's slack – it's the least I can do.

      • PuckStopsHere

        The generosity, the goodness, the GIVING of the members of this group. Tears well up…

    • Doktor Zoom

      I'd love to drive in from Boise for either–would anyone be able to put up a couch-surfer for a night? You would have my solemn promise not to overdo it and hurl on your couch. Also, since I'm not a conseritave, your horses, feedbags, and printed copies of laws are safe.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Universal, accessible programs will always have some inefficiencies and certain determined individuals will find ways to get bennies for which they are not qualified.

    Like the super rich paying a smaller percentage in income tax than me? I'm not sure if that's an official program, or if that's just LIBERTY.

  • hagajim

    Rand Paul constantly cries FRAUD because he's like the Republican closeted homosexuals…those who yell gheys the loudest are usually gay, and Rand Paul is a fucking FRAUD!

    • James Michael Curley

      Rand Paul's Fraud claims come from someone who could not comply with his 'medical certification' requirements so he used his contacts to create an alternative 'medical certification'. That, to be honest, is not really fraud, it's art.

  • Jadetiger79

    I receive food stamps. It's not much, $276 for a family of three, but I make it work. And not just for hobo beans either. I came up with this idea that even though we are pretty fucked right now, there is a way to eat and shop so that when we finally emerge from this hellhole, we aren't riddled with diseases like diabetes, heart disease and so on. I write a food blog and chronicle what I'm doing and how much it costs and take lots of pictures. I grow a lot of my food, shop at farmers markets and use CSAs, and trade with neighbors who keep chickens. I am a graphic designer with 25 years experience, two advanced degrees and I can't get hired anywhere for the last three years so I thought I'd try to turn it into something positive. I live in Atlanta, not some big farm community…but everyone around me has gardens in their front yards. I eat mostly organic local low fat low sugar low sodium etc sort of diet as a way to be healthy while sticking to The Man.
    *CSAs = Community Supported Agriculture…small organic family farms, dairies and beekeepers!

    • I'm so sorry that you're in this unenviable position right now. I hope it changes for the better soon.

      Kudos on making it work and making it healthy. It takes real knowledge, discipline, and determination. I'd rather have my tax $$ go to feeding my neighbours than bombing them, myself.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Yeah, but $276 a month adds up to $20,000 a year, don't you know.

      • sullivanst

        Only if ur homeskooled

        • That's "home-scholed" to you, Bud. Man, y'all gotta put a little more effort into propagating these RWNJ memes, yaknow.

          • sullivanst

            You say "home-scholed", I say "P-E-N-I-S"

          • No, not the crazy lady! I never got to see that clip. (sniff!) I think her rellies took it off YouTube, or summat.

          • sullivanst

            Looks like Gawker still has it. They're shameless so not much surprise there.

            Edit: OK I give up, IntenseDebate wins, I won't make a fancy link. Just go here:

          • Thank you, thank you so much! (weeps tears of joy)

            That woman is as batshit insane as they come. Finally, I have SOMEone to watch other than Crazy Christian Dork-Sahded Nutbag.

      • *counts on fingers, takes off shoes, counts on toes.

        Why yes, yes it does.

    • OldWhiteLies

      Thank you for putting this all into perspective. Thank you for adding just that additional human element to our discourse. Thank you for your willingness to expose your predicament to help remind us all that for which we endeavor.

      May your future brighten.

      Well done Sir.

      Carry on.

      • Jadetiger79

        Thank you, all of you. It's very very hard, but I am determined to not let it beat me. Creativity takes unusual guises sometimes and this was a way to channel my frustration and creativity and love of cooking and new food adventures to new highs. I really am grateful in many ways, because it taught me to do almost everything by hand, from scratch, and actually getting to know and interacting with my neighbors who are also in this ugly time. I have learned to make my own preserves, pickles, hummus, pastas and even yogurt. I am devising ways to use my bounty of tomatoes and basil into making organic tomato sauce the old fashioned way, put it in jars and trade with neighbors for other things, like mowing the grass or trade for a haircut. I'm happy to share anything I have and I wanted to teach people who are new to this poverty thing how to escape the poor people food trap so they can live heathy and be there for the people they love. I know, what a goddamned hippie, right? : )

        • No, what an admirable fucking project. Pretty damn good, you.

        • You are awesome. Can you provide a link to your blog? I'd love to read it, unless it would interfere with your privacy.

        • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

          You're an inspiration, is what you are.

          Keep at it and I hope your job-hunting luck changes soon.

          • Jadetiger79

            Thank you all so much. You all encourage me to try harder.

        • James Michael Curley

          Having been there I can say it makes you stronger. Although I know that does not do a heck of a lot for you, when you look back and realize what you accomplished you will have something not a single one of the Romney children, or grand children will ever have.

          As you continue to pilot through the adversity, pay more attention to your fellows and those from whom you seek advice or assistance if they start many of their sentences with WE than with those who start all their sentences with I.

          • nah. there's that one fucked up grand daughter that will try hollywood, fail, hit the bottle, marry four or eight times and end up writing a self help book from yorba linda.

          • Jadetiger79

            It does a lot for me, your words are very kind. It's been an amazing journey. I lost my life savings and my house in the 2008 meltdown, then moved across the country to lose what I had left in a divorce. My two teenage kids ran away and I haven't heard from them since I last saw them in 2009. I lost my job suddenly when the firm I was with was shuttered one day, just like that. I lost my car and all my collectable bullshit things trying to stay afloat. So when I see the people openly trying to shame me for using them, it cuts pretty deep. And boy, do people ever give EBT users some looks, even when you've got a basket full if healthy food. I think one day I might just write a book. Oh sure we all talk about the monetary losses and stuff but these other casualties are invisible to the dipshits in charge.

        • Doktor Zoom

          [paultard] I see. If you can afford pesto, you obviously are not poor. Time to cut food stamps [/paultard]

          See? No way to win this rhetorical game.

          • Jadetiger79

            ZOMG INORITE? Thing is, I grow so much basil it's shameful to waste it. It practically multiplies overnight, so after I give as much of it away as I can, I make pesto to share. Nope, I can't win. Plus I am a Vaginal American so I am automatically a criminal anyway.

    • i'm pretty lucky here. They have a program where you can use your food stamps at the farmers markets. they'll even match funds on up to $10. Meaning that if I spend $10 in food stamps, they'll give me $20 worth of coupons for the market. This way I get organic, local food for what I'd pay at the supermarket. It's really great.

      • Jadetiger79

        That is awesome! Yes, look me up on Facebook as the Food Stamp Libertine. I took the last 4 months and did a separate one from Facebook hoping to attract some bigger fish in the media pool to shine some light on it, specifically those big names you hear about who take the Food Stamp Challenge for a week. I wanted to help them understand how it really works and how you dont have to accept a WalMart diet laden with poisons. I am in the process of editing those entries too and putting them back on Facebook.

        • Will do!

        • Doktor Zoom

          Awesome–I have sometimes fantasized about forcing a Rand Paul or similar figure to try the exercise that Barbara Ehrenreich did in Nickel and Dimed, if there could be a way to be absolutely sure the creep couldn't draw on their connections.

    • oh man. so impressed (and so so so with you. i was out for almost two years). what's your blog? can we buy your pesto? (mr fuflans is actually from atl and we're there often).

      • Jadetiger79

        Hey neighbor!!!! Yes let's trade recipes and allow me to make you some delicious homegrown pesto! You can catch me on fb under dchanging : )

        • well we're only part time neighbors. we are mostly in CHI but occasionally venture to mr fuflans home town.

          your food blog is FANTASTIC. congrats!

          • Jadetiger79

            Thank you! That means the world to me. Come see me anytime!

  • SheriffJoeBiden

    Did you know that fraud is only a problem in government programs? That's right! Private sector fraud is just a cost of doing business. Scamming yourself some food stamps, however, is an existential threat to Liberty.

  • Schmannnity

    Rand, it's time to be Reaganesque: You're tired of Food Stamp Queens.

  • Jerri

    I love it when people whose salary is paid by the government/taxes bitch about other people collecting money from the government/taxes!

  • knuck1es

    This is the $700 wine tab guy, right?

    • sullivanst

      Pointing that out makes you the real elitist.

    • glamourdammerung

      I think you are thinking of Representative Paul Ryan.

      • knuck1es

        Damn, I always confuse them. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

        • glamourdammerung

          Yeah, they all start to run together for me too sometimes.

  • coolhandnuke

    As an unaccredited doctor, this is just Paul's hypocrite's oath–"do harm."

  • anniegetyerfun

    “Should you buy junk food on food stamps? Should you get to go to McDonald’s on foodstamps?” Paul asked. “It’s out of control."

    Yes, do try to restrict the kinds of foods that people can buy through the government. That's how Russia did it, and it worked out really well.

    • sullivanst


      It strikes me as particularly un-libertarian to be suggesting that the gubmint should be telling people where and what they're allowed to eat.

      You can see why even Ron Paul's fanboys hate Rand.

      • James Michael Curley

        Scalia says No Broccoli!

      • doloras

        Only people who're not WELFARE BUMS deserve liberty. The rest are a disposable serf class.

    • Jadetiger79

      Who GETS to go to McDonalds? In my house that is a mighty big punishment!

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Fuck you, you little cocksucker. Food stamps helped my parents raise a family of four kids, and without these social programs our lives, hard to begin with, would have been much harder.

    • Someone needs to remind them that THIS is what they're proposing: to take the food out of the mouths of hungry children.

      • They don't care.

        • sullivanst

          Show 'em the campaign ad and their interest starts to perk up.

  • mcrummett

    Gosh darn those pesk millionaires, sucking off the teat of the government…wait, what?

  • Do these idiots realize that people will only choose revolution when they have NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE? As long as you give them a crumb off the table, they're afraid to jeopardize even that slender hope by getting mouthy and assertive. But once it's all gone, hey, grab yer pitchforks and torches, it's time to hit the castle!

    Did these people, like, grow up on a different planet, or something?

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Sez THE BORG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Shhh, dood, you're all about giving my game away!

    • Wonderthing

      They built the prisons for that. They own the guns. They own the cops and the laws. It's kind of a slanted playing field. But hey, yeah, go revolution. I'm all for it. No wait, I've got a conflict that week. How about…nah that won't work either. I'll get back to ya!

      • That's not the point, dude. Of course the playing field is slanted. But what makes it *work* — what makes capitalism more desirable than all the suffering that revolution brings — is that the masses get SOMEthing. Even if it's only bread and circuses. When they're *hungry* and got no entertainment/distraction — that's when they get fratchetty, and people end up decorating lamp posts and trees of liberty yada yada watered yada yada tyrants.

        People will endure a lot as long as you give them just a little bit. When you take everything away, then they'll come for you.

    • Jadetiger79

      Exactly! Also, it's not the strong who survive, it's those who learn to adapt. That's why I do my little thing.

  • Exhausted66

    All he wants to do is end handouts, forcing the poor toupee.

  • Ok, cut these food stamps from the poor but for heaven's sakes please let millionaires continue to receive them.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Yo, Rand.

    When the poor have nothing left to eat, they'll come to eat the rich.

    Remember that when you sleep tonight, ass.

  • piniella14

    "Should you get to go to McDonald’s on foodstamps?” Paul asked."

    Yes you should. The value double cheeseburger provides 23 grams of protein and here in Tucson, AZ you can get 3 for about $4.

  • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    Here's the list of restaurants which accept food stamps in certain states.

    Church’s Chicken
    Kentucky Fried Chicken
    Grandma’s Famous Chicken
    Eight Mile Pancake House
    Mr. T’s BBQ
    Vito’s Pizza

    Jack in the Box
    El Pollo Loco
    Papa Murphy’s Pizza

    Taco Bell
    Pizza Hut
    Papa Murphy’s Pizza

    Domino’s Pizza
    Golden Corral
    Southern Cuisine
    Rally’s Hamburger

    So only in Michigan can you use food stamps to buy McDonald's. It seems Rep. Paul is being a little disingenuous.

    Other states do not allow food stamps to be used in restaurants.

    • Callyson

      Jack in the Box

      E. coli for the poors–budgeting problems solved!

    • sullivanst

      Of course Sen. Paul is being "a little" disingenuous. He's a Republican.

      (Rep. Paul is his dinosaur Dad, who is too hardcore douchebag glibertarian to ever hint the government needs to tell people where to eat, and wouldn't feel he needed an excuse to tell the poor they can starve and damned well like it.)

    • chascates

      Ignore my post just published and pardon me for not reading yours first! I didn't know any fast food places took food stamps. But then I live in the socialist paradise of Texas.

    • fortunately KFC has the double down.

  • DustBowlBlues

    My hair stylist said a friend of hers at a convenience store sees people buying chips with food stamps, with is so unhealthy.

    Fucking up our ground water in our unquenchable (get it? get it?) thirst for cheap energy, now that's okay.

    It's like unions–a local pastor I actually liked said he wasn't a union supporter and cited an example of a bad thing from his youth. I began with, "Compare that one thing years ago with the damage Wall Street bankers did last year." And then I went on and assured myself that neither him nor anyone else in hearing distance will ever bad mouth unions to me.

  • sullivanst

    Can we for a moment just think about the time and effort it would take for a rich person to gain SNAP benefits through fraud, and compare the size of the benefits they would receive through said fraud with the size of the benefit they would have received spending that time chatting with their stock broker about which pre-IPO company they can get in on the secondary with?

    Having done that, can we now all surround Rand Paul and scream at him 24/7 that he's a fucking moron who needs to shut the fuck up?

  • Barrelhse

    Eat cake, Rand.

  • anniegetyerfun

    OT: Hey, Wonketteers! Gay rights! Military recognition and stuff!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they’ve been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.

    Lemony Snicket

    (read the whole thing–it's short, but brilliant)

    • Yes it is. I'd read it before, but it's like a slice of cake. It never hurts to have one.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      "If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean you would be a midget if you were bald."

      This needs to be beaten into a lot of people.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Let them eat nothing.

  • Wonderthing

    "Should you get to go to McDonald's on food stamps?" My god. I never realized McDonalds had made it to the List Of Things Poor People Consider A Luxury. I suppose next we'll be asking "Should poor people a RIGHT to live? Or should they pay a "live" tax?"
    Oh wait. They already do.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I'm sure Mr Rand approves of spending my food stamps on some tasty canned brains.

    • (Eyes Monsieur Grumpe's skull meaningfully) BRAAAAAIIINZ?

  • Doktor Zoom

    We really do need to do something about Capital Gains Tax deduction fraud.

  • Callyson

    can we now all surround Rand Paul and scream at him 24/7

    OK, who here knows how to steal a bus? I hear Mittens has a good one that can be used for said purpose…

    • sullivanst

      Please let's. I had the same idea.

  • DahBoner

    Unaccredited Regular? Or Unaccredited Xtra KKKrispy?

  • DustBowlBlues

    A Seattle meet-up? Hey okie-wonkettariat (spell check did not catch that. I guess wonkeratti is official now.) How about we have a meet up?

    Hello? I can't hear you. Is anyone out there?

  • chascates

    Actually, I don't believe any fast food places take food assistance cards. You can now use them at most farmers' markets (where the very angels themselves sell their unbelievably exquisite produce–now including heirloom tomatoes, blackeyed peas, and watermelons if we get more rain) and even that was criticized because it seemed like the recipients were eatin' fancy instead of buying Walmart Ramen and government cheese.

    • I'm fighting for my fellow-citizens' access to CSAs and farmers' markets. And now you've gone and made me frightfully hungry for some of that beautiful garden bounty!

      I really think most Americans do not know anything about food, and that is the only reason they eat the horrid shit that "food product" companies sell them.

    • Are you in MA, cuz thems the rules here too.

    • chascates

      Some states do allow fast food joints to take food stamps as Fukui-sanRadioBarb posted earlier in this thread. Sorry for not reading it first! So far as cheap fast food 2 orders of tacos at Jack-in-the-Box is $2.14 and I actually use their 'buy 1, get 1 free' from time to time. God, I hate myself but talk about filling cheap, pink slime anus burgers!

      • Jadetiger79

        Ah but the Poor Person Food Trap is a horrible and expensive (what? It is!) way to sickness, chronic preventable disease and death. I'm trying to outsmart it with my $276 in food stamps for a family if three. So far so good!

        • chascates

          When I worked for the charcuterie business (before I moved here to the farm) we bought meat and produce from Restaurant Depot, a large chain of to-the-trade businesses, sort of like Sysco. You just had to have a business permit of some kind and you could get a card to shop there. I've seen 20 lb bags of limes for $6, naturally raised pork loins for $2.79 a pound and even charcoal briquets were super-cheap. If you can find something like that nearby and can find a small business owner to use his license a group of people could save a ton of money shopping there. They have spices, fresh produce, dairy, everything a food establishment needs:

          Get several households together and share a 40-lb bag of potatoes or onions for a small percentage of what you'd pay in a store. FOOD FOR THE PEOPLE!!!!

  • Ryy

    If you're poor Rand will fuck your face off! For foodstamps

    • Shit, he'll do it for free. If he can rip the foodstamps off while pissing all over your prone form, that's a plus.

  • glamourdammerung

    Rand is one of those Republicans that whined about how horrible it was that "Obamacare was cutting Medicare" because of the fraud auditing provisions, and then turns around and suggests cutting Medicare on its own.

    But anyway, of course he is being insufferable. He is really trying hard for that VP slot.

  • So he basically accredits himself as a doctor, and receives medicare monies for his "work", while whining about poor people committing "fraud" against the government. It's ok because he's a rich, straight, white male I guess.

    • James Michael Curley

      While the 'doctor' was running for Senate it was revealed he received a significant amount of income from Medicare and Medicaid payments. Supporters of his opponent, Jack Conway, had claimed to have information that he would examine a patient, refer to a lab for testing in which he held a partnership and bill Medicare and Medicaid under separate provider accounts. This resulted in his 'practice' and his 'lab' receiving more for the services than if he had billed both the examination and lab under the same provider account. Demands to produce his billing information were never complied with by the time of the election.

      Just recently Medicare has issued reports stating this practice, when the doctor fails to provide the information to Medicare that he has beneficial interest in both provider accounts accounts for hundreds of millions each year and Medicare is attempting to close this loop hole.

  • Katydid

    How much fraud was there at JP Morgan? Why didn't Paul put an amendment in about that? How much Medicaid fraud did GOP wanker Rick Scott commit? Why doesn't Paul speak up about that?

    These fuckity fuck fuckers drive me fucking bonkers.

    • sullivanst

      Because when Aynette hears "JP Morgan", he doesn't think of blahs.

  • Slim_Pickins

    On the other hand, the massive defense industry fraud is all about "keeping America great."

  • chascates

    JESUS CHRIST! John McCain is being interviewed on PBS Newshour. Due to Wonkette rules I can't say "I'd give 5 years off of my life to speed up his jowl cancer' so I'll just say "eat shit and die, motherfucker".

  • TribecaMike

    Let's show some respect for his father, who (if his followers are to be believed) personally gave birth to 3,000,0000 black babies. And boy does his uterus hurt.

    • bobbert

      And what were they doing in his pajamas?

      • TribecaMike

        Shooting elephants, of course. Like self-certified-dyuh!

  • Buckminster

    Yeah, I know it's such a thrill to have to go and turn in your forms every week to prove that you applied for the requisite number of thankless, menial jobs for which you are told you are "overqualified," although there is nothing available in your field locally because everyone is "downsizing" or in the process of "acquisition" and they are moving their own people into all the mid-management and getting rid of people from the area like–you? It's so empowering to ask your working friends to lend you money so you can buy things like shampoo or toilet paper or laundry detergent because you aren't allowed to get those things on food stamps, yet you need them to continue your quest for a job. Been there, done that. Fuck you with a big fat salami, Rand Paul, and by the way, tell your father to fuck himself, too.

  • ttommyunger

    You had me at: "Rand Paul is insufferable…"

  • TribecaMike

    Sorry to blow your papa's bubble, Rand, but that orb that spins around the earth isn't a Jewish Death Star. It's just the moon. La Luna. The reason the tides go in and go out. I lost you, haven't I?

    Christ, this would be a whole lot funnier if so many Democratic senators weren't actually supporting this crap.

  • GregComlish

    Does anybody remember that retard who covered his rusty trailer with racist, paranoid, and downright wierd allegations? Stuff like "MIND MONKEY OBAMS (BISEXUAL) IS THROWING BOOSE PARTIES WITH $150 STEAKS (IMPORTED)". Remember that guy?

    Now compare that to Rand Paul's allegation that Obama is giving away $20,000/year in food stamps to able bodied black millionaires.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all need to pitch in a couple bucks so that Rand Paul can buy his own rusty trailer and spray paint.

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