walter chronkite wa a red

We Will Not Mock This Pamela Gellar Post Until A Doctor Assures Us She Did Not Have A Stroke

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as smart as she looksCharles Johnson at LittleGreenFootballs has taken a break from twirling his mustaches and imprisoning free-speech martyrs in their Twitter Killing Fields in order to find this primary source evidence of Pamela Gellar, Empress of Wingnuttia, speaking in tongues and blooging at the very same time. We will just steal the whole thing, because we are sure he doesn’t mind.

Don’t let the giant block of crazy deter you from reading on and espying such eternal truths as “Walter Chronkite […] wa a red.” Gaze in wonder at the conseritave Id.

Decades ago we cringed when any news story of corruption and collusion broke about our long venerated trusted newsmen We trusted those powerful subversive like Walter Cronkite, Dan Wallace, etc, These men with enormous power weilded it, abused it, and disseminated one of th =e world’s great campaigns of anti0merican disiinformation and propaganda. We remember Walter Chronkite, as a grandfather figure trusted iconclast when in fact he wa a red and did the country incalculable harm.

Twenty years of the Chroncrite legacy and we ahve gonthat much further of the deep end. Media ia a propactvisit arm whose one goal – shape the news, change the ness, even live about the news to advance a collectivist, pro-sharia agandena. How else culd an unqualfied, bitter Ameria hater hold the eat in the Obama office.

Have eight million more words of seizure, after the jump!

They are out of control And it is only a matter of time before the Davids in the blogosphere rip their masks of civility off and unmosks the who the monsters are. And for the their flagrant violation of the public trust, they shall rot in prison.

The mardcore Hama scruops in thr US HAMAS CAIR, MSU,MSA, ICNA are doing thr Htiler stompin jig to get these conter terrorim messures removed so that devout Muslims can roam freeem to plan the next 911.

And he AP, in a crushing violnation of ‘jounalistic integrity, has filed suit aganst agaianst law enforcement to disarm the numner one greatest counter terrorism usint in the world. The DoJ is finished.Corrupt. Destroyed. House to vote on contempt charge against Eric Holder‎. Tehy refuse to uphold rule of law. It’s red and green madness, collectivists and Islamic supremaicts have the run of the place. Where is our society’s first most critical line of defense? The DoJ is AWOL The Department of Justice is engaging in collusion with the country’s most dangerous and subversive jihadist groups.

And this is not just Department of Justice (DoJ) policy. It’s the policy of the Obama administration.

For years Atlas readers wanted to know why there were no indictments and prosecutions of the Muslim Brotherhood co-conspirators (CAIR, ISNA, ICNA, MAS) named in the largest terror funding trial in US history (here, for example). Obama and Holder have scuttled them, much the same way as they dropped the voter intimidation charges against the Black Panthers (a case that was, by and large, already won).

But those indictments were scuttled last year at the direction of top-level political appointees within the Department of Justice (DOJ) — and possibly even the White House.

Sponsored Intermission

Included in those indictments was at least one of the co-founders of CAIR, based on “Declination of Prosecution of Omar Ahmad,” a March 31 DOJ legal memo from Assistant Attorney General David Kris to Acting Deputy Attorney General Gary Grindler. A second DOJ official familiar with the investigation independently confirmed these details. Omar Ahmad is one of CAIR’s co-founders and its chairman emeritus. He was personally named, along with CAIR itself, as an unindicted co-conspirator in the Holy Land Foundation terror finance trial in 2007 and 2008. During the trial FBI Agent Lara Burns testified that both Omar Ahmad and current CAIR executive director Nihad Awad were caught on FBI wiretaps attending a 1993 meeting of Hamas leaders in Philadelphia.

Finally, lawmakers in Washington are pursuing justice and demanding answers from an AWOL Departmetn of Justice. Last Thursday, Members of the House Judiciary Committee on oversight on Thursday called on U.S. Attorney General to provide documents and evidence relating to the landmark Holy Land Foundation trial – the largest terrorism financing trial in U.S. history.

And now the media is doing the DoJ’s bidding suing the NYPD for proecting all of i citizens fromcertain death in the coming jihad attacks.

So what’s our verdict, Wonkers?

* Having a stroke
* Having a seizure
* Drunker than Ginny Thomas calling up Anita Hill for a heart-to-heart
* Just that fucking stupid

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • Barb

    My vote is botox poisoning. That, or she is trying to impress Ted Nugent or get out of jury duty.
    Has she been to O'Keefe's barn lately? This could wear off in a few hours. Remember to hydrate, Pamela.

    • flamingpdog

      It's just from the tears of anguish that pour out of her eyes every time she thinks of her fallen warrior.

    • spends2much

      This is still too coherent for the Nuge.

    • Callyson

      or get out of jury duty

      So *that's* how I was supposed to duck out of it. Will refer to Pamela's rants next time I am called up for it…

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Y'know, when I served jury duty, many people tried some not-particularly clever ways of evading service. They ran the gamut from "I can't take time off from work" to "Cops are always right" and those were pretty lame. Judges uusually sussed right through those ("Cops are always right, huh? Let's find a civil case we can put you on, those usually last longer.")

        The funniest one from my POV was this one time a guy said to the DA, "He's Muslim, he done it." It got him tossed off the panel, to be sure, but the judge refused to sign his release form (in NYC, generally you can be excused from service if you've been called to a panel but not chosen.) He obviously believed the guy was dogging it.

        Now, after Gellar and the wingnuts have had a decade-long run with hate, I'm not so sure it wouldn't pass muster, even in NYC.

        But definitely, start talking the way Pam is posting? You'll be excused.

        • finallyhappy

          I actually want to go to jury duty- I mean, I have the time but they never call me. Could it be that I complained bitterly the last time I was called for a civil case dealing with the spoiled (adult) offspring of a wealthy real estate family? 6 days to listen to a lot of whining and then they settled. One of the lawyers then wanted the jury to stay to answer some questions- I asked him if he didn't think he had already wasted enough time of the jury members

          • scvirginia

            If you tell them you're a member of the ACLU & you'll be happy to serve, they'll strike you.

        • OldWhiteLies

          I myself have a sure-fire, never-fail, spot-on, nailed-it way to get outta jury duty – or at least the kind that sucks you in for more than the two obligatory days.

          I am merely my obtuse but direct self. I use the "well-spoken" OWL script, listen intently during voir dire, with a wide laser-eyes look; and make it clear I'm expecting to digest every nuance of their respective arguments and will only then come to an appropriate decision.

          NOBUDDY wants THAT guy on their jury. Six runs in eleven years with nobody keeping me past the first round. An average of three pool calls each. Perfect record. Hell three of those, when I was in the first three in the pool, the defendants (and their attorneys, one assumes) chose to waive their right to a jury trial and just go before the judge.

          But what does that tell us about the fate of our justice system? I'm thinking nothing good.

          • BerkeleyBear

            Or just pass a bar exam, any bar exam. Where you are actually on the rolls they generally won't call you as a matter of conflict avoidance/professional ass-kissing, and if you move somewhere you aren't admitted saying "I'm a former bitter attorney" is the golden ticket out of the jury pool.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          This reminds me of the 30 Rock episode where Liz Lemon dresses up as Princess Leia to avoid jury duty.

          • AbandonHope

            You forgot: …and fails.

          • PhilippePetain

            The voice she does is pure comedy gold.

        • tessiee

          ^^
          ^
          So, wearing a "fuck" T-shirt doesn't work?

    • Warwhatgoodfor

      Botox would paralyze her mouth and keep her from talking. No downside.

    • extreme_left

      I think she mis-read the instructions on the bottle of Spray tan and drank it.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      I'm thinkin' poisoned cakes we like.

    • Boojum

      Ambien and typing don't mix.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Spell check seizure!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I'm thinking the number of monkeys banging on her typewriters
      equals < infinity.

      Also, they are on meth.

  • widestanceromance

    Where was the other hand when she typed this up?

    • Mittens Howell, III

      It was busily 'loving America'

      • sullivanst

        Ameria libel!

        • sewollef

          You mean Omerica, surely?

          • tessiee

            Omerica? Is that when you fap silently?

      • Sparky McGruff

        I think you mean Amercia?

    • coolhandnuke

      Driving the Romney bus.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Great, like I'll be able to get to sleep tonight with that thought burned into my brain.

    • Callyson

      Trying to resuscitate Breitbart.

    • Katydid

      It was up her ass, trying to wipe her brow.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Oooh, that was sneaky! Good one!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Did you know that rice grains can shoot right out through your nose?

        Teh Wonketz. You learn something every day.

  • flamingpdog

    Needz moar vampire slaying.

    • tessiee

      Only if they're slaying her.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Unmosk pit!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Is this Finnish for "All of them, Katie?"

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        If Geller speaks Finnish, I'm returning my passport.

  • metamarcisf

    As I used to post at Breitbart before I was banned: "Hey Pam. Show us your tits!"

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Pam is definitely the kind of girl who, when you dated, you tried to tune out at dinner by imagining her tits.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Breitbart! Pshaw!
      Wonkette would NEVER, EVER ban you for titty talk!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    No, clearly she used Nanette Billing's computer.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Whoever told you nanette Billings used a computer? I was assured she carved that message out on stone tablets delivered by weeping eagles.

      • sullivanst

        Using RFC 1149?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Say, what is the airspeed of a laden 1149?

          • sullivanst

            What do you mean? An African or European 1149?

          • tessiee

            I don't know, actually.
            *falls off bridge*

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          That's really low-tech, dude.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Yes, but they were weeping from laughter.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Emmis.

          • tessiee

            I have to think that the section of the Venn Diagram where "smokes clove cigarettes" and "speaks Yiddish" overlaps is vanishingly small.
            Nu?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Vanishingly.

  • harriedhubby

    STROKE WHILE DRINKING?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      No thanks.

      • flamingpdog

        On the other hand, I'd go for someone stroking me while I'm drinking.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          (scritches the pdog's ears) Like this?

          • Boojum

            Lower…lower…

  • missannthropethefirst

    How about totally fucking batshit crazy?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I remember when Pam Atlass's daughter used to show up at any blog, no matter how insignificant, and defend mommy's posts.

      Those were good times.

      • scvirginia

        Dammit! How manny time gotta tell yooz: LEEV MOM ALOAN!!!!

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Oh, I thought that was Bristol.

          • scvirginia

            Damn, you sure know how to hurt a girl.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Batshit libel!

  • metamarcisf

    Gimme eat.

    • prommie

      Garrada dah!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Give EVERYBODY eat!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      This is a reference to something, but I'm drawing a _____.

      • prommie

        Catch-22. Everything in life, really, is a reference to Catch-22. Catch-22 encompassesevery aspect of human existence. Plus blowjobs.
        I threw in some MASH (the crappy novel) just to be contrarian.

        • metamarcisf

          I see everything twice!

        • BaldarTFlagass

          C'mon, Prommie, don't tell me you didn't catch my underhanded reference to Major ____ de Coverley, utterer of the "Give EVERYBODY eat" line that ended the Glorious Loyalty Oath. I HATE it when I'm too obscure.

          • Warwhatgoodfor

            Not here you aren't. Everything worth reading in the Amurikkkn lingo is either in C22, or a book by Mark Twain.

          • prommie

            Oh fuck, you are excellent, I did not get it! I am gonna have to re-read Catch-22 on my soon-to-embark solo pirate voyage through New England!

          • Doktor Zoom

            It was love at first sight.

  • fartknocker

    Is Caiden Cowger her proofreader?

  • Antispandex

    I thought NO ONE could be more bat shit crazy than Ann Coulter, but Pam? Winning!

  • An_Outhouse

    Wow, that was long. I stopped at 'Ameria hater'. I love Ameria, my time, and my sanity and just couldn't continue.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      AMERCIA

      • jerichothedrifter

        Ermagerd!

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      NUMBNER ONE

      (sorry, I'll stop now)

      • Gleem McShineys

        This is my favorite one. Because you have to shout it for full effect.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Is an Ameria a northern version of a nutria, or what?

      • redarmybarbie

        It sounds to me like a new male-enhancement drug.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    If you can't fap to "Gary Grindler", there's something wrong with you.

    • tessiee

      I don't know if I'd fap to him, but I do like his song "Rock and Roll".

  • Baconzgood

    QUICK GET A WALLET IN HER MOUTH BEFORE SHE BITES HER TOUNGE OFF!!!!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Her mouth is too large for mine. She might swallow it. Better lift Mitt's wallet.

      • sullivanst

        I'll fetch the forklift.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Please, like Mitt would dirty himself by touching money that proles have touched.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          He's got a wallet elevator to get it inside once he's home.

      • TribecaMike

        Slather some botox all over that wallet and she'll gladly gulp it down.

    • Swampgas_Man

      On the other hand, biting her tongue off would prevent her from talking.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        There is no downside to this.

  • angerbear

    Was someone disabling her higher function modules while she was typing this? I'm surprised she didn't end with "Daisy, Daaaaaaiiiiisssssss…."

  • flamingpdog

    Dan Wallace? So, Dan Rather and Mike Wallace were that close? Inquiring minds want to know*.

    *Not really.

    • scvirginia

      Dan Wallace = newscaster on her home planet.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Apparently Dan Wallace is the writer of Big Fish.

        The conspiracy is indeed large if Tim Burton is at the center of it.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Their arm has grown long. Or is it "His arm has grown long"?

  • pinkocommi

    Nothing says "subversive" more than Walter Cronkite.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Who?

    • emmelemm

      Commie says what?

      (j/k)

    • pdiddycornchips

      Yes there is, the "Chroncrite legacy". The latest from Robert Ludlum

  • sullivanst

    Someone shouldn't have been snarfing Adderall and Ambien together like they were tic-tacs.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And washing them down with Bud Select.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      The kids put them in her Breath Mints container, OK?

      • sullivanst

        Is that what she calls her other personalities?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Don't you?

  • gullywompr

    Unfortunately, I find nothing unusual in this writing example. Baggers gonna bag. All in all, I'd say it's just a Thursday.

  • SexySmurf

    She was trying to emulate Ayn Rand's writing style. And I think she nailed it.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    proecting all of i citizens

    iRobot will proect iCitizens.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Wait. Steve Jobs was a Muslim?

      • scvirginia

        iAtolla. Duh.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Score!

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            indeed.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I meant iSaac Asimov

        • scvirginia

          So not the MittBot 5000? If we aren't careful he'll proect us all.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I don't Asimov ever wrote anything that dark!

    • PhilippePetain

      Ah, her descent into Rastafarianism is complete.

  • Aridzona

    eye pursenolly dudn't c anyting wrung wid dis.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Here's the scary part: I understood that.

      • sullivanst

        Here's the really scary part: somebody got paid for showing that you would.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          You're having WAY too much fun with this.

  • TheMightyHaltor

    I'm now okay with making English our official language, because then we could kick Pam out.

  • flamingpdog

    doing thr Htiler stompin jig

    Didn't they used to call that "the monster mash"?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Well, it was a graveyard smash.

      • Tundra Grifter

        It caught on in a flash.

    • scvirginia

      I think it's like the Htilander Fling?

    • doloras

      No, they call it the Lambeth Walk.

      • not that Radio

        "Performed by the Nazi Ballet, without the permission of A. Hitler"

        hahahahahaha

  • SoBeach

    I hope rehab is on her "agandena".

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Rehabracadabra.

    • __kth__

      no.no.no.

  • pinkocommi

    You know who really was subversive? Our Founding fucking Fathers.

    Hope that makes a few Teatards' brains explode.

  • Baconzgood

    This is why you don't hit "SEND" when you've been drinking.

    • flamingpdog

      Good thing teh Wonkette has a "Submit Comment" button instead of a "SEND" button.

      • scvirginia

        That's funny- mine says 'Submit, Commie'.

    • Callyson

      Actually, I think Pamela could use a good, stiff drink.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Oh, c'mon, you KNOW that's not how you were gonna end that sentence.

        • Callyson

          Had to save something for the dudes to have fun with…hee hee hee…

  • bumfug

    H!t lyk 4nb $h4re 1f u c4n r34d 7hls – 0nLee da $m4rT quy$ c4n du !t.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe it's some kind of wingnut "beat" writing style she's come up with? Alan Gellzburg? Jack Gellouac?

    • LesBontemps

      She's been writing while getting high licking bufotoxins off amphibians; this is an excerpt from her forthcoming novel, "On The Toad."

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Ferlingellie?

    • scvirginia

      Beats me.

    • HarryButtle

      Maybe it's gonzo? Hunter S Gellson on an ether binge?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    4th Option: We have discovered the identity of the "How is babby formed" person.

  • SexySmurf

    How else culd an unqualfied, bitter Ameria hater hold the eat in the Obama office.

    How qualfied do you have to be to hold the eat?

    • CapnRadio

      Pammycakes is qualfied enough to hold it between her knees.

    • spends2much

      I somehow feel that she's talking about BJs here, but I can't be sure…

    • widestanceromance

      Real qualifications begin when you don't have to hold the eat, if you catch my drift, wink, wink. . .

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Clearly the White House chef is to be blame for all of this. If the Obamas would only eat corporate produced red meat, Gellar would accept them as real Americans and not as Kenyans.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Hey, I'm not qualfied in any way, and I've been holding the eat three squares a day all my life.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You'd think after all these years online she would learn not to drunk-post.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Man, she's gotten her best hits that way.

    • scvirginia

      Hey Baldar- I missed yore purdy smile!

      • Veritas78

        Me, too! That shark-cat makes me happy every time I see it. Thanks for switching back, Baldar!

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          That other av he had for a few days made my tmj jaw hurt.

    • emmelemm

      {whips sunglasses off}

      YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

      w.r.t. the avatar's return

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Guess I'm stuck for eternity with cat-shark. That's cool though. Coming back after a night of drinking with hot vanpool chicks and then going and seeing The Man (toot-toot!) tonight instead of having to drive back into town tomorrow, and seeing this love for the old avi, has me all verklemt.

    • Nesnora

      I doth protest. I've been drinking and smoking for the past hour and I still capitalize where appropriate and I hardly, hardly think about Chronkite, Htiler, or mardcore Muslins.

      I'm roam freeem!

  • LesBontemps

    Not enough meds / too much meds. Either way, keep her away from sharp objects and keyboards.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Jesus, is she using teh bath salts? Cause she’s bitten off more words than she can chew.

    • TribecaMike

      Bed, Bath & Fubar.

  • HoytClagwell

    All of them, Katie?

    (was that correct usage? I'm kind of new here)

    • sullivanst

      Well, I was going to say it if you didn't.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Yes, that would be appropriate in this instance. Or any instance. We're all about free-form commenting.

      • Crank_Tango

        It's good news for McCain.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Don't forget Poland!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            COTD!

          • Crank_Tango

            You know who else didn't forget Poland…

            Also Nobama Polish FEMA Death Camp libel, or something.

          • redarmybarbie

            Josef Stalin?

    • widestanceromance

      Welcome, Hoyt. Keep coming back.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Good work. I did nothing for my first weeks here except type:

      BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

      in every thread, and got p-eed on a lot.

      • sullivanst

        If only you'd said BALLS instead, your pness would now be as big as MittBorg's

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          BALLS, you say?

          Let me see….B-A-L-L-S….BALLS

          • Warwhatgoodfor

            One of my favorite quotes from Catch-22.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Great. The kid hasn't been here an hour and already you're scaring the shit outa him/her.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            I think we are all about the tuff lurve here at the Wonkette.

          • Blueb4sunrise

            ONE OF US!!!
            ONE OF US!!!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Gobble, gobble.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        You forgot to point out that we all live for pee.

        • scvirginia

          Not me- once I get out of the 70's, I'm golden. Never really liked the 70's. At least not until skinny ties & haircut bands…

          • Boojum

            Golden. Ha. ISWYDT.

    • Tundra Grifter

      HC:

      Now it might be "Kallie – all of them!"

    • Sassomatic

      Today, we are all wingnuts having a stroke.

    • Glass Eyed

      Only one person in the world would use that nick….the man himself!

      Don't tell 'em that you're a hell of a tap dancer as well. These people are wolves.

    • tessiee

      We should just come up with three or four different messages, and keep posting them over and over. That would be fun.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Ultimately, the real victim here is Sarah Palin, and I think it's only fair to call on President Obama to resign.

      • not that Radio

        But what blog-readers really want to talk about is jobs and the economy.

    • tessiee

      Very good. Here, have some wite casuls and cakes we like.

  • Baconzgood

    propactvisit? th =e? unmosks? freeem? proecting all of i citizens fromcertain death?

    Finaly someone on the interwebz that spells worster than Baconz! I feel alittel bedder about miself

    • StarsUponThars

      baconz, u r lurved

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      But you're OUR Bacon, and we know BaconzGOOD. Besides, you're smart.

      Pamela Geller is a poopyhead.

    • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

      "How else culd an unqualfied, bitter Ameria hater hold the eat in the Obama office."

      Seriously, how could a TRUE Conservative American not be able to spell "American"?

  • pinkocommi

    Proving once again that extreme conservatism is a mental illness.

    Will I get more upfists if I take out the "extreme" and just say "conservatism?"

    • tessiee

      Plez, its "conseritavism".

  • elviouslyqueer

    The mardcore Hama scruops in thr US HAMAS CAIR, MSU,MSA, ICNA are doing thr Htiler stompin jig to get these conter terrorim messures removed so that devout Muslims can roam freeem to plan the next 911.

    Wow. It's like a mashup of Naked Lunch, the Vogon poetry from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Glenn Beck's Fever Dream Journal gone horribly, horribly wrong.

    • sullivanst

      It's like a mashup of Naked Lunch

      Needz moar buttsechsing to death.

    • CapnRadio

      the Vogon poetry from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,

      "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found Oozing out of My Left Brea$t One Midsummer Morning."

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        You really know how to get the old blood pumping, Capn.

        • CapnRadio

          Just wait! I have a whole series on dog excretions.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I didn't want to gouge my eyes out reading Vogon poetry…

    • Jus_Wonderin

      It looks like maybe she is devolving? I for one can't watch as she turns into a blob of goo and inches toward the potted plant.

    • tessiee

      And that RV with all the hand-scrawled "OBAMA SEKRIT GAY COMMUNIST" bumper stickers:
      http://wonkette.com/449226/wingnut-camper-art-pro

  • Baconzgood

    I fucking love mardcore music. Fugazi RULZ!!!!!

    • Gleem McShineys

      Ean Machkey was so striatgh egde!
      NUMNER ONE, STOMPIN JIG TIME

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    When I was in middle school, the plays of Shakespeare seemed like a foreign language to me.

    Now, the writings of Republicans seem to be from an alien planet.

    • emmelemm

      Lizard people!

    • Chichikovovich

      And now we shall have a posting both tedious and brief, a most tragical comedy, from Quince the Carpenter, Snout the Tinker and Pam the Gellar……

      [Or was it Flute the Bellows-mender and Pam the Bellows?…. I'd better look it up….]

  • Tommmcattt

    Walter Cronkite was a "powerful subversive"?

    Really?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Of course. He personally Lost Vietnam. We'd have won if it weren't for his treachery.

      And Jane Fonda.

      And those smelly hippies.

      And the shitty strategic situation.

      And the fact that we were supporting a corrupt dictatorship that was incapable of governing.

      And the liberals' refusal to let us use the Bomb.

      And….

      But mostly, it was Watner Chronic

      • NellCote71

        I think he shot JFK, too, if I remember correctly.

    • Crank_Tango

      then WTF was J edgar hoover?

      • scvirginia

        A powerful inversive?

  • flamingpdog

    Metnal il:nees iz a trrbil thin=g to libe wit.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Pammy's been libeing wit it for a while now, and it's doing its best to get away.

  • CalamityJames

    Maybe you won't mock her, but someone really should skull-fuck her.

    • Crank_Tango

      Too late!

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Pam would enjoy that, though. Especially if you make her wear a veil first.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Thank you. I read all that and now I ahve gonthat into ssezhure ….

    *thunkity …. thunkthunk …. twitch …*

  • sharethegrief

    Isn't red and green madness what happens in Walmart on Thanksgiving?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Only because Obama banned Christmas.

  • anniegetyerfun

    This bloog sent from my iPhone.

  • HateMachine

    Who else expected "Media ia" to end with "Cthulhu fhtagn"?

    • MosesInvests

      She does have the Innsmouth Look, doesn't she?

      • PhilippePetain

        I hear she graduated from Miskatonic with honors.

      • PhilippePetain

        What I mean to say is I don't think a Dagon by without her screeching about something.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Me. But only because, sheesh, it's Pammycakes, whaddyawant?

  • TeaNuts

    Pamela who?

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Remember that Whitesnake video from the 80's with the crazy chick rolling all over the hood of that car? Not her.

  • spends2much

    Spelling and grammar are for Libtard Elitists, obviously.
    Seriously, do you think you're better than Pamela Geller, Nanette Billings, or Sarah Palin, simply because you are fluent in your mother tongue and they, middle-aged Murricans, are still struggling?? For shame…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      It's not my mother tongue.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Not surprisingly, many people have told me that.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        And your response was?

    • tessiee

      "Seriously, do you think you're better than Pamela Geller, Nanette Billings, or Sarah Palin"
      *raises hand*
      I am. I'm a lot nicer, a helluva lot smarter, and not a bigot.
      *Barb stands up*
      I'm a better parent, and much kinder to children. I would never drag a fragile kid all over hell and gone like Sarah did.
      *Chichikovich stands up*
      I'm educated and eloquent.
      *baconzgood stands up*
      I'm the best worker at my job.
      *MIttBorg stands up*
      I'm fluent in Yiddish.
      *elviouslyqueer stands up*
      I'm devastatingly witty.
      *limeylizzie stands up*
      I have devastating titties.
      *jus-wonderin stands on hind legs*
      I'm loyal, and can fetch.
      Music in the background, as in the cheesy but inspiring sports movie, while one by one, the wonketteers stand up, with ad lib comments, "I'm better", "Me too", "I'm way better", "you gotta be fucking shitting me" [that was ttommyunger] as music builds, until are all are standing, high-fiving and grab-assing each other, and clinking drinks.

  • StarsUponThars

    Damn. I read Bob Dylan's "Tarantula" and wasn't as lost as this.

    • sullivanst

      I had less difficulty with Finnegan's Wake.

      • TribecaMike

        Vladimir Nabokov used to say he'd read "Finnegans Wake" three times, and though he much preferred "Ulysses," he couldn't find a single grammatical error in it. True story.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I don't think I even understood the magic of Nabokov's writing until I hit my 50s.

          • TribecaMike

            Ain't he something? I once had the great pleasure of hanging out with his talented and very, very funny son Dmitri in a NYC bar for an evening. I can only imagine what a character his look-alike old man was like, but I felt like I got a taste (though I've read his mother Vera was the real brains, sans the prose, behind the outfit — I recommend Stacey Schiff's excellent biography "Vera: Mrs. Vladimir Nabokov" for more on that).

            I also highly recommend Brian Boyd's two volume biography of the master, which I place on the shelf right next to Richard Ellmann's classic bio of James Joyce. If you enjoy Nabokov, you'll learn a lot of cool stuff from Boyd's books.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thank you very much for those recommendations.

          • TribecaMike

            You're welcome, MittBorg. A world without Nabokov is unimaginable. And do check out Boyd's valuable and well written biography. The chapters on "The Defense" and "Pale Fire" are especially brilliant.

  • CapnRadio

    Frankly, although I may be a spell check Nazi, I do not find the typing by tongue all that problematic. No, the biggest error here is her reference to "Atlas readers."

    • scvirginia

      Charles Atlas?

    • Callyson

      Atlas Shrugged.

      • CapnRadio

        Atals Shuggred.

    • shortsandpants

      Atlas read her rant, and Atlas shrugged.

    • Warwhatgoodfor

      She has an actual website that y can find by googling atlas shrugs. Be warned, this post is considerably less vitriolic than her usual anti-Muslim diatribes. Wear dark glasses when you check, otherwise all your friends will desert you and you will lose 20 IQ points from brain burn.

    • Buckminster

      You know…morons.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Media ia a propactvisit arm

    Couldn't have said it any better myself. Whatever it is.

    Someone should try to run it thru BabbleFish and see if it crashes the system.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I think Col. Steve Austin, the Bionic Man, had one of those propactvisit arms.

    • Buckminster

      Holy crap, what the hell is that even supposed to mean?

  • Doktor Zoom

    If you suffer from Propactvisit Arm, ask your doctor if Hamascruops is right for you. Side effects may include drowsiness, red chronchitis, violnations, and diminished mental capacity. If you experience posting to Atlas Shrugs, call your healthcare provider immediately. If you need to induce vomiting, read Atlas Shrugs.

    • sullivanst

      A lawyer from Prescott Pharmaceuticals just called, alleging copyright infringement.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        It does sound a lot like Vacsadone…

  • SayItWithWookies

    I'm guessing the poor bastard who turns Pam's ramblings into complete sentences escaped through an open window and Ms. Gellar had to finish the essay on her lonesome.

    • scvirginia

      Nope- just hangin' with the other monkeys and their typewriters.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Obama and Holder have scuttled them, much the same way as they dropped the voter intimidation charges against the Black Panthers…"

    …and the war crimes trials of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Feith, etc etc etc.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    OK, everyone who is more wasted than Pam Gellar, give me a thumbs up.

    • sullivanst

      Wow, way to make sure that comment gets no mojo.

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        Yeah on second thought, maybe "less wasted" was the way to go.

    • __kth__

      yes, I'd like to help you with an upfist, but I'm not Hunter S. Thompson.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Wait until this evening.

  • Arken

    Unpredictive text.

  • James Michael Curley

    A diagnosis in a case like this always starts with the simplest explanation which is warranted by all the facts. She wrote that piece on her Iphone using her nipples.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Finally, a transcript of the voices Shelly hears in her head.

  • elburritodeluxe

    This is really no different or better than an edited Pamela Geller post. Which is only slightly less lucid than Michelle Malkin or Ann Coulter.

  • elburritodeluxe

    She's clearly drunk / high…

    Is it too much to hope for that she is drinking more now because she realizes how her anti-Muslim rants were a justification for Anders Breivik to kill 69 innocent people?

    • MosesInvests

      Yeah, it's too much to hope.

    • Estproph

      No, I will guarantee she prides herself on that point.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      MUCH too much.

      Srsly. The woman has the sentience of a paramecium. She feels no regret or shame.

  • keinsignal

    You're not supposed to drink the whole box of wine, Pam.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Problem is, she didn't stop with the box. I'd put her on her second barrel, at least.

  • Wonderthing

    Who's Pamela Gellar? signed, Yes, I'm That Isolated

    • glamourdammerung

      A moron that runs a hate site that whines about how it is not a hate site.

      Kind of like VDARE.

    • Estproph

      That's not as isolated as her "readers".

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Part of the brain trust that is today's Conservative Movement.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "We Will Not Mock This Pamela Gellar Post Until A Doctor Assures Us She Did Not Have A Stroke"

    *reads through comments*

    Uh, are you going to punish us now, Editrix?

    • HateMachine

      It's okay, I very well might be a doctor, for all you know.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Pretty sure Rebecca was using the Royal "We."

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Please?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I know I've been very bad.

  • hagajim

    That whole screed was a violnation of ‘jounalistic integrity as well as damning evidence that our skoolz have failed miserably.

    Also the "Walter Chronkite […] wa a red" line was code for she is smashed on the chronic and drinking some fine Washington State red wine, you just have to be able to decipher stoned, drunken idiot.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Washington A-quality red wines are indeed worth getting drunk too. I'm sure Cronkite would agree.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    The sheer quantity of her output assures that there will be a small mistake from time to time.

  • flamingpdog

    This is what happens after The Yes Men drop too much acid.

  • GregComlish

    Atlas drunk-dials her ex-boyfriend and leaves a incoherent bigoted rant on his voice mail

  • Doktor Zoom

    Pretty clever, trying to avoid violnating Godwin's Law by invoking "Htiler."

    • CapnRadio

      In so doing, however, she invoked Gowdin's Wal.

  • qwerty42

    I'm thinking alcohol and drugs. Not sure which drugs ,but paranoia and typos plus weird rants suggest alcohol and drugs. If she has any friends left, they might want to get her into detox.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    SIDE BOOBIES!!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    She must be related to Palin.

  • Estproph

    "How else culd an unqualfied, bitter Ameria hater hold the eat in the Obama office."

    I am convinced this is a coded message to her reptilian overlords.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Fine, but what does it MEAN?

    • Warwhatgoodfor

      Picky, picky, picky.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh right, like Pam's classy enough to drink boxed wine. She's strictly a Ripple dipper.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Naw, it was MD 20/20.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Hey, where ya been, grrl? (Hugs Jukes) Everything OK?

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I'm getting an early start on my mid-summer depression. The snark has left me. I'm still “checkin ya auht, tho,” as they say in Pittsburgh.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Aw, now, we can't have that. (Hugs the Jukes)

            You need a little music to cheer you up!

          • sullivanst

            Hope that depression doesn't leave you feeling Trapped Again.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            Gee, is THAT why I like that song?Thanks, Doc.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Hm. I wonder…maybe this is actually written in Farsi and she's a double agent?

    • emmelemm

      Interesting theory.

    • Estproph

      It's certainly farcical enough

  • PhilippePetain

    Oooooh, I've gotta see the comments section over there… It's always fun seeing these fucktards make excuses when one of their own heroes lets all pretense fall by the wayside and goes completely off the deep end.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Let us know what you find. I can't bring myself to go there.

      • PhilippePetain

        I wasn't aware that the AtlasShrugs article had been dropped. For some reason, I just kind of assumed that people this far out would just be like "Removing the obviously drunken NJ housewife post is just kowtowing to the sharia muzzooblllleeeeghj". Or something.

  • __kth__

    She has the vacant eyes of a broken-down stripper who has been abusing coke and maybe Ecstasy to keep her enthusiasm up. That's from six years ago, god only knows what she looks and sounds like now.

    • sullivanst

      How you doin'?

    • PhilippePetain

      Oh my god, I had never seen her speak before… Jesus, she really is just this weird vapid NJ housewife… WTF are these right wingers thinking!? I just kind of can't believe they're this stupid.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        New Jersey libel! Pammie there is from Long Island. I mock Jersey all the time, but I think it already has enough problems without having to take responsibility for Gellzilla.

        • PhilippePetain

          Wait, that's what Long Island sounds like!? Jesus…. I guess I'm pretty happy over here in the west after all.

          • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

            It's my own opinion that Long Island has easily the worst accent in the Tri-State area.

          • sullivanst

            Well, as a transplant to Long Island, I can say with authority that the New Jersey accent is everything bad about Long Island's, on steroids.

            But at least it's not Staten Island.

          • PhilippePetain

            I was once in a touring band and ran into this punk rock outfit from Staten Island that we were on a three or four show leg with, and I must say, Staten Island punk rock girl singers have got to be one of my favorite sub-subgenres of womanhood.

            The accent that is so fucking grating and awful in a broken down suburbanite housewife takes on a sort of tomboyish macho put-on that basically had all of us poor 18 year olds smitten.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    This was plagiarized from Zein und Acid

  • Dr. Matt

    I could have composed a more coherent blog entry if I just punched my keyboard for 30 minutes straight.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      With gloves on.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Obviously having Sen. McCain and Duh Gov'Nuh as the GNoP candidates had nothing to do with Mr. Obama's victory.

    The only possible explanation is "lamestream media."

    Still – after looking at her photo – I'd tuck that in.

    • sullivanst

      I'd tuck that in.

      To the fishes' bed?

    • Warwhatgoodfor

      You should (first) check out her site, atlas shrugs, to get a better idea of the utter lunacy that defines this woman's thought. This one is actually less venomous than some of the others. If the photo interests you, check out her videos. She has several she does in a black bikini, and for a 50 y/o she looks OK.

      • Tundra Grifter

        I didn't see any black bikini videos.

        Is she the model for the Goldfinger girl in the logo?

        • Warwhatgoodfor

          Try YouTube " Atlas VLOGS from the beach". Can't copy and paste from my iPad. So it goes.

          • Tundra Grifter

            Thank you – I checked that out. She's bobbing up and down like she's practicing how to prance upon the hidden lance.

            If she really wants page views she should get out of that wet bikini and into a dry martini.

  • ingloriousbytch

    This is what happens when you mix your Ambien with your Franzia.

  • knuck1es

    It's not nice to make fun of the disabled.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Who's "we," Commie?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    And she thinks THEY are out of control! Oy.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Allah works in mysterious ways.

  • qwerty42

    I went to LGF and saw Johnson's comments. This was posted at 8:14 Thursday morning. Not good, Pam. And the business about a "red" … takes you back. Should we worry about who lost China? (hint: as every schoolboy knows, it was Owen Lattimore). Plus other reds.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    AOTK.

  • bobbert

    Tick tock tick tock

    • tessiee

      I have no keyboard, and I must SHOUT IN ALL CAPS.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Hard to do that without a keyboard, Young Miss.

  • Fairtackle

    I think someone has their eye on the veep spot…

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    I actually refuse to believe option 4, so I'm going with drunker than Peggy Noonan on a summer afternoon in Manhattan.

  • Me_K_Cong

    Remember how good Republicans used to feel obligated to pronounce the word "nukular"? When Pam typed Ameria, she was trying to type Amercia, but forgot how to misspell it properly.

  • Sassomatic

    BATH SALTS. Stop her before she eats someone's face.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I thought she already ate her own.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Said the Ticktock man. But here's the funny thing, Harlan Ellison could be quite the prick. He was a good writer though.

    • emmelemm

      Prick or not, I've always loved that title for its random poetry.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Me too. I don't think he was a Great Artist, like, say, Kafka, but he was a very talented and highly polished wordsmith, and his writing could make me forget that I sometimes disliked him. That title caught me, and I was off on an Ellison jag for life. You could count on him to produce a consistent, polished level of interesting work.

    • doloras

      Was? The creep is still with us.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Geez, I'm always so shocked to find anyone of my generation is still alive.

  • http://wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

    She banned me for pointing out that her constant cheerleading of the Serbs was tacit support of genocide and ethnic cleansing. She's buttfucking crazy

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I like people who make me seem smarter than I actually am.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Thank god for the internuts…..'sgood to be back!…..

  • Beowoof

    Bath salts are bad before blogging.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    "thr Htiler stompin jig"

    That actually sounds good, like something a progressive would do. Not sure how else to read that, unless she misspelled "Their Fetus Stomping Jig", which is a distinct possibility.

    • sullivanst

      I think more likely she just thinks stomping Hitler was a bad thing.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Everyone *knows* stomping fetus just makes it all mushy on the grill.

    • Crank_Tango

      I could swear I saw Norm make a htiler stomping jig once on This Old House.

  • Nesnora

    She's just low on conserva-batteries. It's like when you push the button on one of those toys in the store and they begin to repeat phrases in sparse, demonic tones.

    Either that or fuck, woman—handle your high already.

  • shortsandpants

    "Itts time too dtand up for freedome ann drunke dile my exe hussbund."

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    What I have learned about Obama from Conservatives:

    Obama is totally incompetent.

    Obama is secretly running a vast Islamist conspiracy.

    He must be running it incompetently.

    Therefore: Obama is in fact destroying the vast Islamist conspiracy from the inside.

    Well played Obama. Well played.

    • qwerty42

      Actually, I believe the conservatives now believe pretty much that Obama is an incompetent. He is running a vast conspiracy to do something. And they are the only ones who see it. But it is a great danger. Because he is close to success. No word yet on whether this involves precious bodily fluids, but probably.

  • Lazy Media

    C & D, and she turned off her autocorrect.

  • Guppy

    Tune in next week when Chuck Norris publishes the exact same thing!

    • TribecaMike

      Not if Jon Voight beats him to it. The race is on!

      • Tundra Grifter

        Col. Ollie North is standing in line, ready to reprint it and then throw her under the bus for sending it to him.

  • DahBoner

    Tanning bed toxicity.

  • Tommy1733

    Her bio-quote says "Evil is made possible by the sanction you give it. Withdraw your sanction."

    Pammy, I would never insert my sanction, yet alone need to withdraw it.

    • Guppy

      Levi Johnston tried to withdraw his sanction twice!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Not soon enough. Both times, the putz.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    "I, James Joyce, approve this message."

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Joyce made beautiful, witty sense. This dolt makes duhs.

    • sullivanst

      Hateful cunt with encaphalopathy writes her crazed epistle?

    • Guppy

      Not enough fart-sniffing and arse-fucking.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Ah, but it was a *poetical* fart-sniffing and arse-fucking.

        Pammy Geller doesn't have anything to say that anyone with two working brain cells needs to listen to, and she says it in the most annoying accent/voice/tone.

    • alteredimages

      There once was a hideous teabagguette, and her name was Pammy Tuckaboo. Or however that horrid novel begins. Portrait of the Fartist as a Not So Young Wingnut.

  • AddHomonym

    She's gellin'. (It's pronounced jell-er, right?)

  • GemlikeFlame

    Ockham's Razor, folks. Obviously a keyboard broken under the pressure of a thousand tantrums. Move on, nothing to see here.

  • http://thesecondcomingofjeri.blogspot.com Jeri 2.0

    I think she's sly (and also probably drunk, high, stupid, and typing with her toes) and is using the new conserbecile code to make sure their posts all fly under the radar of Homeland Security. Shit, I'm betting fly and radar and Homeland Security are all on the list of red-flag words.

  • knuck1es

    Gonna change my vote to: drunk, and posting from a tablet for the first time.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    She sent this to CNN as her audition to take over for the late John King.

    • not that Radio

      With any luck, she cc'ed Charles Krauthammer.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Jukes! Where have you been?

      Over on the Wonkette begging blog (our Editrix is doing her One-L Michele impression and emailing for money) I brought up our idea about a books section.

      Come on over and stick up for me!

      ~Actually, no surprise everyone is being very nice and several people have offered positive thoughts about it. You had some good ideas about how to make it work. And there must be a way Wonkette can make money off books and book ads and book sales and all…

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Geez, I'm out of it.I don't even know what the begging blog is.I'll check it out tomorrow.I would definitely support you.LimeyLizzie and I were exchanging book recommendations earlier today.We like similar novels.

        • Tundra Grifter

          Jukes:

          It's our Editrix' blog about raising money through donations. At the top It has a photo of a woman in a bathing suit bottom and no tan lines. I'm sure she has quite a top if she would just turn around.

          Anyway – check it out. Wonkette needs a books page. Or whatever it would be called here on the Internets.

          If you and Limey LIzzie are down with it, it has to be good.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            I'll mention it to LL next time I see a post of hers.Thanks for the info.

  • Darthhippy

    You say fucking stupid. I say to stupid to fuck.

  • stncmchnc

    That photo needs less Broadway Cats, and more Mighty Ducks face.

  • Warwhatgoodfor

    Stupid as a box of rocks and vicious as a rattlesnake with a sunburn. And, by the way schmuck, it's MIKE Wallace, not Dan Wallace. And he died recently, and had more writing skill in one of his sperm than yOu have in your entire body.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Or William Wallace – who got the tug from the King of England.

  • Neoyorquino

    She needs to lay off the Chronic. And the Cronkite.

  • TribecaMike

    All the embarrassing fucked up dumbass things I've done in the past seem like noble deeds to me now.

  • Exhausted66

    "Twenty years of the Chroncrite legacy and we ahve gonthat much further of the deep end."

    Did a Nigerian prince write this?

  • barto

    Eh, too vain to wear glasses?

    • TribecaMike

      Bausch & Lomb makes contacts out of botox now. Very popular with the jet set, though not so much with the Jones & Wynette set, but only because they can't afford them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASsrU73PLfk

    • Tundra Grifter

      I once worked for a politician who wouldn't wear glasses.

      When we made name tags for events they had to be the size of a small billboard.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Send Mitt Rmoney's engineers on this stat, clearly there's something wrong with her internal operating system.

  • Barrelhse

    Sounds like a typical Wonkette "Dear shit for brains" letter.

  • owhatever

    Dud a teem of monkees wrote this?

    • Generation[redacted]

      They certainly didn't have Carol King and Neil Diamond write it for them.

  • Tundra Grifter

    The correct font for that rant is Wing Nutz.

    • TribecaMike

      Most people don't know this, but before he became a musician Bob Marley worked at a print shop in Kingston, where he wrote his first song "I Sansed The Serif."

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Oh! Oh!

        • TribecaMike

          Those old line casting fumes could be very inspirational.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Be wary where you cast your line sir, for you know not what foulness lurks in the depths.

  • not that Radio

    Pam Gellar is a conseritave, no?

    • TribecaMike

      No, she's a facsist.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Same thing, dood.

  • Generation[redacted]

    She seems nice.

  • Warwhatgoodfor

    Where is the Tick Tock Man when we need him? Hmmmmm.

  • Ryy

    Just that fucking stupid.

  • Swampgas_Man

    James Joyce and Nanette Billings had a babby.

    • TribecaMike

      I have a feeling that the famously wine-swilling — and socialist! — Joyce would rather have puked on one of Gertrude Stein's expensive Persian carpets than on the likes of a nobody like Gellar. Joyce may have been from the dirty old town of Dublin, but he had his standards.

  • swordfis

    Her photo in Littlegreenfootballs is terrifying. Anyway, this is evidence that to write stream-of-consciousness, you have to be conscious to begin with.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Eh, minor obstacle.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Media ia a propactvisit arm whose one goal – shape the news, change the ness, even live about the news to advance a collectivist, pro-sharia agandena.

    Among the media's many "one" goals, Gellar seems to have omitted "spell the news."

  • rmjagg

    pamela should stop bikini waxing her upper lip …. scar tissue .

  • extreme_left

    She's a plant by teh gayz to turn.

  • Buckminster

    "Twenty years of the Chroncrite legacy and we ahve gonthat much further of the deep end. Media ia a propactvisit arm whose one goal – shape the news, change the ness, even live about the news to advance a collectivist, pro-sharia agandena. How else culd an unqualfied, bitter Ameria hater hold the eat in the Obama office."

    Jebus, I post better shite than this after four Martinis.

  • moar_plz

    "Hold their eat" is actually pretty brilliant (because it was unintentional). I'm gonna use that. "I couldn't hold my eat watching that crap movie." or "Imma lose my eat if I have another tequila".

  • Buckminster

    New thought: Hopped up on PCP like the favorite at Hialeah.

    • TribecaMike

      When it comes to bullshit, Gellar has won the exacta, the trifecta, and the quinella, all in her sordid little mind.

  • didgen

    Poor spell check was buried today after a successful suicide.

  • lulzmonger

    Obvious explanation is obvious.

    Pamela Gellar: /b/tard.

  • tessiee

    According to Google, Ms. Gellar's date of birth is 1958. In fairness, she does look pretty good, but if she's going to use epithets like "red" that are 50 years out of date, she's bound to give away her real age sooner rather than later.

  • ttommyunger

    I'd hit that, but she would have to promise not to speak.

    • DocChaos

      Updating a line a friend of mine used to say:
      "I wouldn't fuck her with Reagan's dick, and his dick is dead."

      • ttommyunger

        Some women can heal the sick… and raise the dead.

  • tessiee

    High as a kite, everybody! Goofballs!

  • alteredimages

    Huh. So Pammycakes types like a Dolan Duck meme. Gooby pls.

  • Stevola

    Spelig i commist

  • neiltheblaze

    Are there no insane asylums?

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Opportunisticly_Joe

    Truth be told, I do some of my finest posting drunk. But I'm also crazy careful about checking my work for idiot errors like sentence fragments, or at least make sure to pay attention to an in-browser spellcheck before posting, and I'm not relying on my internet notoriety for my career.

    I'm just trying to imagine how drunk someone would have to be to make this meandering, English-butchering, word salad of a blog post, and I'm pretty sure you'd need to be literally going blind from drink, first.

    Either that, or this was a guest post from Chuck Grassley's twitter account.

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    IMHO, she was attempting to do that experiment where you take an unlimited amount of monkeys, typewriters and time to create the Encyclopedia Britannica only she got this word salad instead.

    Or her head might have been buried in a bag of coke…

  • notanncoulter

    YOU left out "E – all of the above" as an option….

    and I think SHE left out:
    "Thanks folks… I'll be here all week… don't forget to tip your wait staff…"

  • notanncoulter

    Her brain has finally had enough of the hate screeds, and in a last, desperate act, is attempting to kill the host in order to save humanity.
    As usual, epic fail.

  • ColonelDoctor

    Wow, that is mardcore.

  • jennofark

    Two words:

    Bath salts.

  • 12X34X

    My money is on brand new 2" gel nails that slide all over the keyboard and an arrogance that proclaims, "What? Me proofread?"
    That – or she's off her meds.

  • mmeetoilenoir

    Pammy is the finest that Lawg Eyeland has to offer: too many chains, fake breasteses, a tight face, and too-dark hair dye. The only thing she's missing is the Tiffany charm bracelet and a Coach purse.

  • KommunistKitty

    In collectivist Ameria the ness changes you.

  • Gopherit
  • rickmaci

    Someone's been hitting the bath salts a wee bit too hard. Might be a good idea to check her neighbors to be sure that none of them has had their face eaten off.

  • cassamandra

    more proof that we need a Republican edition of Poe's Law.