failed politician news

Ex-Senate Candidate Stands His Ground, Shoots Guy Whose Ground It Allegedly Also Was

GROUND STOOD. ON. OR WHATEVER.

Hiram Lewis, a lawyer and a failed servant of the American people (he lost the 2006 West Virginia Senate race to Robert Byrd, and also lost two Attorney General elections), has been arrested for shooting a guy who apparently “intruded” upon him in his home. West Virginia has that lovely Castle Doctrine in effect, so Lewis, who also used to work as a Republican treasurer, is claiming that he was just Standing His Ground. The catch: the so-called intruder, Stephen Bogart, claims that he actually lives in the house in too. This is a LANDMARK CASE, because can you stand yr ground if it is also another’s ground???

In an apostatical fit, maybe, Lewis decided to drop his friend/lover/neighbor/roommate, and having washed his hands of the whole affair, was forced to shoot Bogart (in the leg) when Bogart insisted he was still part of his life. OTHER THEORIES? There are none.

OK fine, there is another. According to Lewis, via local Fox station WCHS, Bogart:

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is a homeless veteran who’s been a guest at his camp for the last week until he finds stable employment. Lewis did not elaborate further except to say, “he went crazy today.”

His camp? What is a camp, in this context? Is that what West Virginians call homes? Lewis continued:

I was totally within my rights. I was in my home when I made the, when I shot him, after he barged in my residence and busted the door down. It’s in God’s hands now, but we are a Castle Doctrine state.

According to WCHS (via the West Virginia Record), Lewis shot Bogart when Bogart kicked down the door to their house in Procious (PRAH-shus, or maybe PRO-shus, or even PREH-shus) in Monongalia county (WHAT? This is getting Tolkienesque).

Lewis has been charged with malicious wounding and “wanton endangerment,” which is awesome-sounding, and police apparently are not buying Lewis’s story that Bogart was an “intruder.” His bond is set at $100,000. [WDTV, West Virginia Record]

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About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

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175 comments

    1. Baconzgood

      TWO DOUCHE BAG ENTER ONE DOUCHE BAG LEAVE! TWO DOUCHE BAG ENTER ONE DOUCHE BAG LEAVE! TWO DOUCHE BAG ENTER ONE DOUCHE BAG LEAVE!

        1. BornInATrailer

          Hmm… make their money from shoveling shit and live in a place where you can actually trade a chicken for medical care. Close indeed.

    2. WhatTheHeck

      The law of physics states: no two objects can occupy the same space, unless you are Chris Christie.

      1. James Michael Curley

        Sorry, that's no two objects can occupy the same STATE if one of them is Chris Christie.

      1. Barb

        No more Humphrey for the guy who shot his lover, Bogart. Now he's going to have to pay for sex.

        Think about it. Imagine it. Wait, it will come to you.

      2. TribecaMike

        He had to have. He grew up on Long Island and that's all there is to do there.

        Oh, I thought you meant Humphrey. Never mind.

  1. commiebro

    What are those….things….on his face? Two fleshy dots in his goatee? Catfish-style barbels? Matching string-warts? What!?!?!?!? America demands to know!

        1. BornInATrailer

          I like the part where he claps his hand together and rubs them to revive Daniel-san's flaccid member.

  2. Baconzgood

    FYI. I grew up 8 blocks from the banks of the Mon river and I still don't know how to spell Monongalia. Nor Youghany, Aliquippa or Zelienople. I hade to copy and paste all those words.

        1. MittBorg

          Of COURSE you can, sweetie! I upfist everyone I ever reply to. I wish I could share the pee points, but don't know how. If you find out, let me know.

      1. Baconzgood

        Yes I was. So when people tell me how about they didn't "fit in" in high school I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and…

        1. MittBorg

          I know how you feel. (Hugs the little piglet)

          I was the only person in my school (all the way through school) from my ethnic group. Good times! Drink!

      1. Baconzgood

        East Liberty= E-Sliberty
        Squirrel Hill= Squirll Hilw
        Down Town=Daun Taun

        It took me years to get rid of the Pgh Accent. A person could be arguing the merits of Nietzsche and Aristotle, but if you talk the ugly Pittsburgh talk all someone can think is "this dude had a piece of his brain replaced with a cashew."

        1. Chichikovovich

          In the mercifully brief time I spent teaching at Pitt, I had a couple of students with accents as thick as Sophie Masloff's. Since I speak with a backwoods accent in both of Canada's official languages, I'm hardly one to throw stones. But still…

          [I had to hear someone say "This needs fixed..." about ten times before I clued in to the fact that it is a thing people in Pittsburgh say.]

    1. MrFizzy

      I think it's spelled Mongoloidahela – hopefully that's allowable lexicon in the new and somewhat more PC planet wonkette

    2. James Michael Curley

      William Pitt was cruisin' down the "mighty Mon" as he called it since Yorkshire men had such limited verbal abilities what with all the historical invasions by Romans and Danes and Celts with Kilts and who knows who. So after months of listening to the natives talk about Poconos, Appalachia, and Aliquippa he got to the junction of the Monongahela and the Allegheny rovers and someone said, "You name one, Marblemouth, but keep it simple." Whereupon he stuttered, "Oh – I – O" and they said, "That's it, we're outa here. Let's go somewhere and get some Iron City and grilled Kielbasa."

  3. OkieDokieDog

    I can't believe Hiram lost all those elections. He should have shot somebody back in 2006, then he'd be a 2nd Amendment lovin' Patriot hero.

  4. MittBorg

    Jesus Christ, this is Hiram Lewis THE FOURTH. There's THREE OTHER fucking bozos running — ok, maybe crawling, by now — around out there just like him.

    1. chicken_thief

      Saves all the thinkin and shit that's required to come up with a different name.

    2. tessiee

      It's West Virginia. Having three or four generations of the same family living is really easy when you start reproducing at age 12.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Wait — it was Bogart's joint too? I'm blown away. Then again, so was Bogart.

    1. tessiee

      I only know one person who lived in a houseboat, but it was in rural Louisiana and there were gators in the water, so he could've shot them.

  6. CrunchyKnee

    I'm fucking going to enjoy the day when all these wingnuttards finally stand their grounds against one another and eliminate themselves from the gene pool. Libertarianism at its best, I tells ya.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I work with an engineer name of Hatfield, of the notorious clan Hatfield. He's a short little nebbish dude that looks like a garden gnome, not like any of the stars of that show that was on last week on the Hitlery Channel. He's kinda white trashy, for a P.E., and has typical white trashy problems with his kids and his three ex-wives. I can totally see him or his immediate family shooting someone. Hopefully they'll keep it all in the family.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Tell him to move to Luckenbach, Texas. That's what you do when the the successful life you're livin' gets you feudin' like the Hatfields and McCoys.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            Oh no ya don't. I go out to Luckenbach on a fairly regular basis (it's only 50 miles or so from the Casa de Flagass) for sittin' around and drinkin' Shiner Bock and listenin' to the fiddle 'n' guitar mewsik. I'd prefer he stay where he is…

          2. Chichikovovich

            Do you hang out with Waylon and Willie and the boys?[Thanks for bringing back Sharkcat/Behemoth by the way!]—

          3. BaldarTFlagass

            Well, Waylon's dead almost a decade, and Willie's nearing 80, but I have attended a couple Willie picnics out there, many moons ago.

  7. TanzbodenKoenig

    Bogart probably just intercepted the meth pipe while it was making its circuit. One thing I've learned in Appalachia is NEVER get between a West Virginian and their crystal

  8. metamarcisf

    Hate to say this but I think my dad still has some relatives running around Monongolia County. Think I'll invite them over for a shot and a beer, not necessarily in that order…

  9. Tommmcattt

    Castle Doctrine! Sounds kinda sexy/bdsm-y until I look at the picture again and throw up in my mouth.

    Hey baby, wanna play some castle doctrine tonight?

    GWM, 6'0, 180lbs, seeks GAM for light bondage, castle doctrine….

      1. Beowoof

        You say that like its a bad thing. Yet many republicans who want to be or are elected to public office seem to have a definite proclivity for that activity. I think we should accept them and tell them to blow their way to the top.

  10. MittBorg

    Where's the SEX TAPES?

    C'mon, you don't think Hiram Lewis IV was letting Bogart live in his house out of the goodness of his heart, do ya?

  11. SoBeach

    Come on, dude. Lesson #1 for self-loathing gay republicans: Stick to public restrooms. You don't bring 'em home with you. You do that and they start thinking they've got some kind of relationship with you. And that would be gay.

  12. Baconzgood

    No joke. In my crazier days as a young man, I used to buy moonshine just a little out side of Morgantown near Tunnelton WV. Great moonshine but you can't smoke while drinking it.

    1. OldWhiteLies

      BG, how'd that meetin go w' the brass and the new CO? Shake up, or same-only-different?

      1. Baconzgood

        OH no! They got me and Depart Director Dale Part II into an office and sat him down. Upper brass told him.

        "Let Baconz do his job his own way. He's our best. If you implement new policies and procedures it will effect his #s. DON'T FUCK WITH BACONZ #S. He makes more for us in one quarter than we pay you in a year. Plus if you hassle him with petty office politics he will make your life a living hell. We've seen him do it before."

        It was pretty cool. Upper management laid down the law on my side. Believe it or not I'm a pretty good sales man. I got the gift for gab and my clients like me.

          1. Baconzgood

            It's my sales strategy. The secret is *looking both ways then whispering in your ear* Keep 'em drinking until they sign the papers.

        1. James Michael Curley

          I would avoid any trips with upper management for a while. Especially to 'resorts' where they have hot tubs in every room.

  13. Estproph

    Castle Doctrine. Shooting after shooting. Every day brings more shootings in what are at best dubious circumstances. In other words, daytime in the USA.

  14. Oblios_Cap

    I shot him, after he barged in my residence and busted the door down. It’s in God’s hands now, but we are a Castle Doctrine state.

    I agree. i'd shoot the bastard, too, if he barfed in my residence. Oh..nevermind.

    How do you barge in and then bust the door down? Doesn't it work the other way around?

  15. chicken_thief

    Monongalia county? Is that some Latin phrase for "man on homeless man" or something?

    1. Beowoof

      Well they do live in Yurts, so there is that going for them. That is all their republican overlords will let them have.

  16. glamourdammerung

    I am pondering how someone could wound another person with no malice being involved. Outside of accidents and negligence, I am at a loss.

    1. MittBorg

      "Malice" here is a legal term of the art, meaning a specific mental state, or intent. If I shoot you because I'm drunk or pissed off because you screwed my old lady, I might mean to scare you, or hurt you, but probably don't mean to kill you. But if I shoot you because someone paid me munnies to, or I can profit by your death in some way, then I definitely *meant* to kill you. That latter state of mind is the malice required for a charge of murder rather than, say, manslaughter or negligent homicide.

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      Dudley: I'll she-didn't-care-for-you you, my boy! Now then! She's gone up there, to the great sewer in the sky, the biggest drain of them all. All you can do is make this place into a sin-cellar. Yeah – you're nothing but a whoo-er! You're a whoo-er! Get out of my house. Get-out-of-my-house!
      Peter: Father, it's not your house, it's my house.
      Dudley: Oh, pardon me for living. Pardon me for having two strong sturdy legs to stand on! Well, get out of your house, then! Never darken your doorstep again! Get out!

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    Take me home
    Country roads
    To the place
    I thought I belonged
    West Virginia
    BLAM BLAM

  18. chascates

    In Louisiana a camp is a place where you hang out with your buddies and mistresses/prostitutes and fish, hunt, eat, play poker, and get falling down drunk. In West Virginia this may refer only to a tent or old snow cone truck, however.

  19. BlueStateLibel

    Just thinking, but with all of these "Stand Your Ground" laws, "this is my castle," etc., if I was a Native American, I'd be starting to get ideas…

    1. LesBontemps

      Yeah they tried that. Which is why today we have Indian casinos — similar principle, less shooty.

  20. pinkocommi

    Remind me never to visit a state with the official motto: "Shoot first. Ask questions later."

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      Interesting, as this little bon mot paraphrases "Kill them all, let god sort them out"- which originated with Simon de Montfort snr. Oh, and what happened to him? His head was crushed by a stone from a catapult. And what happened to his son? His head and balls were cut off, the one was nailed to the other, and posted back to the killers wife as a souvenir.
      Just saying those who live by the sword may well die by it- be careful what laws you wish for..or as Churchill put it "the bear blew first"

  21. Wonkette, Refudiated

    My belief system is this. CASTLE DOCTRINE. I will stand my ground in Monongalia because it is a castle doctrine state. I will stand my ground in your house, I will stand my ground in their house, I will stand my ground in that house over there too. I will stand my ground in your camp, your mothers house, your dogs house or your kids house. When I wave my gun it's time to move, as is my right.

    1. gurukalehuru

      You can stand your ground in a box
      you can stand your ground with a fox
      you can stand your ground on a boat
      you can stand your ground with a goat
      you can stand your ground here and there
      Say! You can stand your ground anywhere

      1. starfanglednut

        We shall stand our ground on the beaches, we shall stand our ground on the landing grounds, we shall stand our ground in the fields and in the streets, we shall stand our ground in the hills; we shall never surrender our guns.

  22. HarryButtle

    Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he had to walk into mine. So I fucking shot him.

  23. elburritodeluxe

    Intruder… lived there… let's just focus on the fact that he shot an unemployed Veteran!

  24. MosesInvests

    This land's not your land, this land is my land,
    I got a shotgun, and you ain't got one,
    If you don't get off, I'll blow your head off,
    This land was only made for me.

  25. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Soon the Stand Your Ground law will be declared unconstitutional by the NRA and the wingnuts will introduce and pass the really, really, really extra constitutional law entitled as the He Looked at Me Funny law.

  26. Barrelhse

    Monongalia is a medical term referring to a vaginal condition where the labia are only formed on one side.

  27. telecustom1972

    "It’s in God’s hands now". – I, for one, am "F" – ing psyched to see how God is going to rule on this one!

  28. valthemus

    Is that another smiling mug shot? Egad! I demand shame and desolation from my mug shots, by jingo!

    Is he really gay? I'm always suspicious of gay Republicans. I can't help it. I certainly don't think they should attempt relationships. There's a reason why God created RentBoy.com.

  29. tessiee

    Police got suspicious when Hiram Lewis called them and told them to "just ignore" any calls from Stephen Bogart.

    1. TribecaMike

      If he'd been Black or Latino, the SWAT team would have been there three weeks ago and they'd all be died. And people complain about police department cutbacks.

  30. ttommyunger

    Upon hearing the news, NRA's Wayne La Pussyfart Lapierre reportedly snorted: "Shot him in the leg? We teach them better than that!".

  31. TribecaMike

    Hacks smiling in their mug shots has become the norm, but hacks giving come hither looks in their mug shots is just plain wrong.

Comments are closed.