FAILED POLITICIAN NEWS  3:20 pm June 14, 2012

Ex-Senate Candidate Stands His Ground, Shoots Guy Whose Ground It Allegedly Also Was

by Liz Colville

GROUND STOOD. ON. OR WHATEVER.

Hiram Lewis, a lawyer and a failed servant of the American people (he lost the 2006 West Virginia Senate race to Robert Byrd, and also lost two Attorney General elections), has been arrested for shooting a guy who apparently “intruded” upon him in his home. West Virginia has that lovely Castle Doctrine in effect, so Lewis, who also used to work as a Republican treasurer, is claiming that he was just Standing His Ground. The catch: the so-called intruder, Stephen Bogart, claims that he actually lives in the house in too. This is a LANDMARK CASE, because can you stand yr ground if it is also another’s ground???

In an apostatical fit, maybe, Lewis decided to drop his friend/lover/neighbor/roommate, and having washed his hands of the whole affair, was forced to shoot Bogart (in the leg) when Bogart insisted he was still part of his life. OTHER THEORIES? There are none.

OK fine, there is another. According to Lewis, via local Fox station WCHS, Bogart:

is a homeless veteran who’s been a guest at his camp for the last week until he finds stable employment. Lewis did not elaborate further except to say, “he went crazy today.”

His camp? What is a camp, in this context? Is that what West Virginians call homes? Lewis continued:

I was totally within my rights. I was in my home when I made the, when I shot him, after he barged in my residence and busted the door down. It’s in God’s hands now, but we are a Castle Doctrine state.

According to WCHS (via the West Virginia Record), Lewis shot Bogart when Bogart kicked down the door to their house in Procious (PRAH-shus, or maybe PRO-shus, or even PREH-shus) in Monongalia county (WHAT? This is getting Tolkienesque).

Lewis has been charged with malicious wounding and “wanton endangerment,” which is awesome-sounding, and police apparently are not buying Lewis’s story that Bogart was an “intruder.” His bond is set at $100,000. [WDTV, West Virginia Record]

 

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{ 175 comments }

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Two people standing the same ground?

This is why Thunderdome was invented.

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

TWO DOUCHE BAG ENTER ONE DOUCHE BAG LEAVE! TWO DOUCHE BAG ENTER ONE DOUCHE BAG LEAVE! TWO DOUCHE BAG ENTER ONE DOUCHE BAG LEAVE!

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Auntie Meh-titty has the final say

BornInATrailer June 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Krauthammer as Master, Breitbart as Blaster.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

"Who run Bartertown?"

Ohmygod, that's closer than we think!

BornInATrailer June 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Hmm… make their money from shoveling shit and live in a place where you can actually trade a chicken for medical care. Close indeed.

WhatTheHeck June 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

The law of physics states: no two objects can occupy the same space, unless you are Chris Christie.

James Michael Curley June 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Sorry, that's no two objects can occupy the same STATE if one of them is Chris Christie.

Swampgas_Man June 14, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Objects don't occupy Christie's space; they orbit around him.

GuidanceRo_Man June 15, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Two morons enter, one comes out limping!

Barb June 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

He's gonna hate his new roommate in prison way more than Bogart.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I wonder if Bogart Bogarted?

Barb June 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

No more Humphrey for the guy who shot his lover, Bogart. Now he's going to have to pay for sex.

Think about it. Imagine it. Wait, it will come to you.

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

He had to have. He grew up on Long Island and that's all there is to do there.

Oh, I thought you meant Humphrey. Never mind.

Nostrildamus June 14, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Not a hump-free Bogart.

tessiee June 14, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Unless, of course, his cell mate is Raul Rodriguez.

commiebro June 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

What are those….things….on his face? Two fleshy dots in his goatee? Catfish-style barbels? Matching string-warts? What!?!?!?!? America demands to know!

BornInATrailer June 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Show me "flecks of jizz!"

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I saw that movie: The KaratGay Kid. That's where Mr. Miyagay gets his knob polished by Danielsan

BornInATrailer June 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I like the part where he claps his hand together and rubs them to revive Daniel-san's flaccid member.

prommie June 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Gobbled.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

That comes…..er, no pun intended….later in the film, in the college football shower.

OkieDokieDog June 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Genital warts . The guy is a total asshole prick.

OneYieldRegular June 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"Don't Bogart my joint, my friend, or I'll shoot."

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

FYI. I grew up 8 blocks from the banks of the Mon river and I still don't know how to spell Monongalia. Nor Youghany, Aliquippa or Zelienople. I hade to copy and paste all those words.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Ah-HAH! So our Baconzgood is an Appalachian piglet!

It's OK, them's some weird fuckin' names.

MrFizzy June 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Mitt can I have some of your pee score – I feel so bloody inadequate.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Of COURSE you can, sweetie! I upfist everyone I ever reply to. I wish I could share the pee points, but don't know how. If you find out, let me know.

starfanglednut June 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

A little secret: I always upfist posts that have only +1, even if I don't find them funny, and give tons of upfists to newbies on general principle.

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Yes I was. So when people tell me how about they didn't "fit in" in high school I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and…

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I know how you feel. (Hugs the little piglet)

I was the only person in my school (all the way through school) from my ethnic group. Good times! Drink!

starfanglednut June 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Sounds like a good thing you didn't fit in there.

Chichikovovich June 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

But can you pronounce "North Versailles" correctly?

[Haha! Trick question!]

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

East Liberty= E-Sliberty
Squirrel Hill= Squirll Hilw
Down Town=Daun Taun

It took me years to get rid of the Pgh Accent. A person could be arguing the merits of Nietzsche and Aristotle, but if you talk the ugly Pittsburgh talk all someone can think is "this dude had a piece of his brain replaced with a cashew."

Chichikovovich June 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

In the mercifully brief time I spent teaching at Pitt, I had a couple of students with accents as thick as Sophie Masloff's. Since I speak with a backwoods accent in both of Canada's official languages, I'm hardly one to throw stones. But still…

[I had to hear someone say "This needs fixed..." about ten times before I clued in to the fact that it is a thing people in Pittsburgh say.]

JerkCade June 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Daun't be sucha jagoff.

MrFizzy June 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I think it's spelled Mongoloidahela – hopefully that's allowable lexicon in the new and somewhat more PC planet wonkette

LesBontemps June 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Can we just call it Tardistan?

Sharkey June 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Not to put too fine a point on it, but "hate" is spelled wrong alsoo too.

Callyson June 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Monongalia's correct spelling:

"Here's a nice river. Be a shame if Mittens fell into it next time he disses a Pittsburgh institution like Bethel Bakery":

http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/neighbo

(Usual disclaimer, in a totally non – violent way, etc…)

James Michael Curley June 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

William Pitt was cruisin' down the "mighty Mon" as he called it since Yorkshire men had such limited verbal abilities what with all the historical invasions by Romans and Danes and Celts with Kilts and who knows who. So after months of listening to the natives talk about Poconos, Appalachia, and Aliquippa he got to the junction of the Monongahela and the Allegheny rovers and someone said, "You name one, Marblemouth, but keep it simple." Whereupon he stuttered, "Oh – I – O" and they said, "That's it, we're outa here. Let's go somewhere and get some Iron City and grilled Kielbasa."

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 6:22 pm

At least you didn't grow up on the Beaver River. Easy to spell, hard to live down. Especially if you're a grrl.

Barb June 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"I was totally within my rights."
I was totally within my whites. Fixed!

OkieDokieDog June 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I can't believe Hiram lost all those elections. He should have shot somebody back in 2006, then he'd be a 2nd Amendment lovin' Patriot hero.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Jesus Christ, this is Hiram Lewis THE FOURTH. There's THREE OTHER fucking bozos running — ok, maybe crawling, by now — around out there just like him.

chicken_thief June 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Saves all the thinkin and shit that's required to come up with a different name.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

True. So, like, throwing darts at the Wholly Babble just isn't used any more?

starfanglednut June 14, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Wholly babble, lol.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Hell-LOOO? WEST Virginia????????

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Nu? What do I know from West Virginia? They probly shoot people who look like me on sight.

An_Outhouse June 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Maybe its the only name thery have so they keep reusing it.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Well, at least they're recycling.

tessiee June 14, 2012 at 11:05 pm

It's West Virginia. Having three or four generations of the same family living is really easy when you start reproducing at age 12.

SudsMcKenzie June 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Lewis just wrapped up the NRA vote.

LesBontemps June 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Ah, young love.

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Wait — it was Bogart's joint too? I'm blown away. Then again, so was Bogart.

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

*rim shot*

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Bet it was a shotgun

WhatTheHeck June 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Maybe Bogart was wearing a hoodie.

johnnyzhivago June 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

This stand your ground thing – I have questions!

What about in a houseboat?? No "ground" to stand on???

scvirginia June 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Castle with moat. No ground (or apparently grounds) necessary.

tessiee June 14, 2012 at 11:09 pm

I only know one person who lived in a houseboat, but it was in rural Louisiana and there were gators in the water, so he could've shot them.

CrunchyKnee June 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I'm fucking going to enjoy the day when all these wingnuttards finally stand their grounds against one another and eliminate themselves from the gene pool. Libertarianism at its best, I tells ya.

chicken_thief June 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

The Hatfields and the McCoys?

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I work with an engineer name of Hatfield, of the notorious clan Hatfield. He's a short little nebbish dude that looks like a garden gnome, not like any of the stars of that show that was on last week on the Hitlery Channel. He's kinda white trashy, for a P.E., and has typical white trashy problems with his kids and his three ex-wives. I can totally see him or his immediate family shooting someone. Hopefully they'll keep it all in the family.

Chichikovovich June 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Tell him to move to Luckenbach, Texas. That's what you do when the the successful life you're livin' gets you feudin' like the Hatfields and McCoys.

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Oh no ya don't. I go out to Luckenbach on a fairly regular basis (it's only 50 miles or so from the Casa de Flagass) for sittin' around and drinkin' Shiner Bock and listenin' to the fiddle 'n' guitar mewsik. I'd prefer he stay where he is…

scvirginia June 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I'm jes' hopin' to stay out of the crossfire.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:31 pm

You're gonna LERVE this year's Republican Convention in Tampa …

Beowoof June 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Sounds like a lover's quarrel gone way too far.

TanzbodenKoenig June 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Bogart probably just intercepted the meth pipe while it was making its circuit. One thing I've learned in Appalachia is NEVER get between a West Virginian and their crystal

metamarcisf June 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Hate to say this but I think my dad still has some relatives running around Monongolia County. Think I'll invite them over for a shot and a beer, not necessarily in that order…

Jus_Wonderin June 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Hiram? Is that Mooslim or Jewy?

scvirginia June 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Hiz daddy were worried he'd be unemployable…

Tommmcattt June 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Castle Doctrine! Sounds kinda sexy/bdsm-y until I look at the picture again and throw up in my mouth.

Hey baby, wanna play some castle doctrine tonight?

GWM, 6'0, 180lbs, seeks GAM for light bondage, castle doctrine….

chicken_thief June 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

"Hiram Lewis, a lawyer and a sucker of cock…."

Beowoof June 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

You say that like its a bad thing. Yet many republicans who want to be or are elected to public office seem to have a definite proclivity for that activity. I think we should accept them and tell them to blow their way to the top.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I'll bring my ropes.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Where's the SEX TAPES?

C'mon, you don't think Hiram Lewis IV was letting Bogart live in his house out of the goodness of his heart, do ya?

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Many pig squeals were heard from the woods…

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 6:18 pm

They're the Kim and Kanye of Monongalia.

SoBeach June 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Come on, dude. Lesson #1 for self-loathing gay republicans: Stick to public restrooms. You don't bring 'em home with you. You do that and they start thinking they've got some kind of relationship with you. And that would be gay.

SudsMcKenzie June 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Lets withhold judgment until we find out if Bogart was wearing a hoodie.

niblick77 June 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

A woman scorned?

MrFizzy June 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Is there some inverse correlation between goatees and IQ?

tessiee June 14, 2012 at 11:12 pm

???

I thought that was mullets.

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

No joke. In my crazier days as a young man, I used to buy moonshine just a little out side of Morgantown near Tunnelton WV. Great moonshine but you can't smoke while drinking it.

OldWhiteLies June 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

BG, how'd that meetin go w' the brass and the new CO? Shake up, or same-only-different?

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm

OH no! They got me and Depart Director Dale Part II into an office and sat him down. Upper brass told him.

"Let Baconz do his job his own way. He's our best. If you implement new policies and procedures it will effect his #s. DON'T FUCK WITH BACONZ #S. He makes more for us in one quarter than we pay you in a year. Plus if you hassle him with petty office politics he will make your life a living hell. We've seen him do it before."

It was pretty cool. Upper management laid down the law on my side. Believe it or not I'm a pretty good sales man. I got the gift for gab and my clients like me.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm

YAY BACONZ!!!

Of course you are. BaconzGOOD.

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm

It's my sales strategy. The secret is *looking both ways then whispering in your ear* Keep 'em drinking until they sign the papers.

Nothingisamiss June 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Hoorah for our little BaconZ!

OldWhiteLies June 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Well done Sir. Carry on! (Outta da pahhhk)

emmelemm June 14, 2012 at 5:10 pm

NICE. Hooray 4 Baconz!

James Michael Curley June 14, 2012 at 8:23 pm

I would avoid any trips with upper management for a while. Especially to 'resorts' where they have hot tubs in every room.

Estproph June 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Castle Doctrine. Shooting after shooting. Every day brings more shootings in what are at best dubious circumstances. In other words, daytime in the USA.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I blame Jerry Springer.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Mo(u)rning in Amercia.

Eve8Apples June 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

"GET YOUR ASS OFF MY DAMN GROUND!!"

Toomush_Infer June 14, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Um, ….GET YER ASS OFF MY DAMN HANDS!?….

Oblios_Cap June 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I shot him, after he barged in my residence and busted the door down. It’s in God’s hands now, but we are a Castle Doctrine state.

I agree. i'd shoot the bastard, too, if he barfed in my residence. Oh..nevermind.

How do you barge in and then bust the door down? Doesn't it work the other way around?

Schmannnity June 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

If someone had to be shot, I'm glad it was Bogart and not Bacall.

chicken_thief June 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Monongalia county? Is that some Latin phrase for "man on homeless man" or something?

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Monongoloid?

Beowoof June 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Well they do live in Yurts, so there is that going for them. That is all their republican overlords will let them have.

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Maybe it's a typo – Morongalia?

gurukalehuru June 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

It is now.

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 6:06 pm

It's Cherokee for Teh Stupid.

randcoolcatdaddy June 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

The White Castle Doctrine…?

Toomush_Infer June 14, 2012 at 5:17 pm

um, is that the one for domestic abuse?….

Dudleydidwrong June 14, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Sexual abuse of a cheeseburger?

DerrickWildcat June 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I'm just gonna be standin' on my ground everywhere!

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Where ever you stand it's YOUR ground.

DerrickWildcat June 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Git off a it!

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 6:08 pm

You're welcome to stand on my ground, too. I don't own any firearms.

DerrickWildcat June 15, 2012 at 1:50 am

Whoa!

glamourdammerung June 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I am pondering how someone could wound another person with no malice being involved. Outside of accidents and negligence, I am at a loss.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm

"Malice" here is a legal term of the art, meaning a specific mental state, or intent. If I shoot you because I'm drunk or pissed off because you screwed my old lady, I might mean to scare you, or hurt you, but probably don't mean to kill you. But if I shoot you because someone paid me munnies to, or I can profit by your death in some way, then I definitely *meant* to kill you. That latter state of mind is the malice required for a charge of murder rather than, say, manslaughter or negligent homicide.

Ryy June 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Get of our house or I'll shoot!

Toomush_Infer June 14, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Wait….."GET YER ASS OFF MY DAM GUN!"….

MaxNeanderthal June 15, 2012 at 9:05 am

Dudley: I'll she-didn't-care-for-you you, my boy! Now then! She's gone up there, to the great sewer in the sky, the biggest drain of them all. All you can do is make this place into a sin-cellar. Yeah – you're nothing but a whoo-er! You're a whoo-er! Get out of my house. Get-out-of-my-house!
Peter: Father, it's not your house, it's my house.
Dudley: Oh, pardon me for living. Pardon me for having two strong sturdy legs to stand on! Well, get out of your house, then! Never darken your doorstep again! Get out!

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

What goes on at camp should stay in camp. Especially band camp.

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

"I am the king of wherever the fuck I am!"

OldWhiteLies June 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

YAY! TeethyKat is back!

sbj1964 June 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

And they were such a cute couple?

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 6:10 pm

In Monongalia, hell yes!

elviouslyqueer June 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Worst. Scruff. Hookup. EVER.

prommie June 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Do. Not. Want.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Welcome to my camp, I guess you all know why we're here.

starfanglednut June 14, 2012 at 9:49 pm

You became aware this year?

GregComlish June 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Are you saying Hiram likes to Fire 'em?

emmelemm June 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

"Monongalia"

Must… not… make Mongoloid / r*t-rd joke…

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Take me home
Country roads
To the place
I thought I belonged
West Virginia
BLAM BLAM

chascates June 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

In Louisiana a camp is a place where you hang out with your buddies and mistresses/prostitutes and fish, hunt, eat, play poker, and get falling down drunk. In West Virginia this may refer only to a tent or old snow cone truck, however.

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm

"old snow cone truck" ;-[)

DerrickWildcat June 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Get of my ground!

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

It must suck being named Bogart when you're smoking dope.

BlueStateLibel June 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Just thinking, but with all of these "Stand Your Ground" laws, "this is my castle," etc., if I was a Native American, I'd be starting to get ideas…

LesBontemps June 14, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Yeah they tried that. Which is why today we have Indian casinos — similar principle, less shooty.

Ryy June 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Did it to p off Romney

pinkocommi June 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Remind me never to visit a state with the official motto: "Shoot first. Ask questions later."

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 6:11 pm

All of them, Katie?

MaxNeanderthal June 15, 2012 at 9:14 am

Interesting, as this little bon mot paraphrases "Kill them all, let god sort them out"- which originated with Simon de Montfort snr. Oh, and what happened to him? His head was crushed by a stone from a catapult. And what happened to his son? His head and balls were cut off, the one was nailed to the other, and posted back to the killers wife as a souvenir.
Just saying those who live by the sword may well die by it- be careful what laws you wish for..or as Churchill put it "the bear blew first"

__kth__ June 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Not the stuff that dreams are made of.

Wonkette, Refudiated June 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm

My belief system is this. CASTLE DOCTRINE. I will stand my ground in Monongalia because it is a castle doctrine state. I will stand my ground in your house, I will stand my ground in their house, I will stand my ground in that house over there too. I will stand my ground in your camp, your mothers house, your dogs house or your kids house. When I wave my gun it's time to move, as is my right.

gurukalehuru June 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm

You can stand your ground in a box
you can stand your ground with a fox
you can stand your ground on a boat
you can stand your ground with a goat
you can stand your ground here and there
Say! You can stand your ground anywhere

James Michael Curley June 14, 2012 at 8:29 pm

God one Dr. Suesem.

starfanglednut June 14, 2012 at 9:54 pm

We shall stand our ground on the beaches, we shall stand our ground on the landing grounds, we shall stand our ground in the fields and in the streets, we shall stand our ground in the hills; we shall never surrender our guns.

HarryButtle June 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he had to walk into mine. So I fucking shot him.

swordfis June 14, 2012 at 9:56 pm

That's great

Nostrildamus June 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Moron Gala in Monongalia !

elburritodeluxe June 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Intruder… lived there… let's just focus on the fact that he shot an unemployed Veteran!

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Good point. It's all Boehner's fault.

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Tomorrow night, Fox News is running a three hour special dedicated to that door.

MosesInvests June 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm

This land's not your land, this land is my land,
I got a shotgun, and you ain't got one,
If you don't get off, I'll blow your head off,
This land was only made for me.

emmelemm June 14, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Nice.

Monsieur_Grumpe June 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Soon the Stand Your Ground law will be declared unconstitutional by the NRA and the wingnuts will introduce and pass the really, really, really extra constitutional law entitled as the He Looked at Me Funny law.

shortsandpants June 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

If you're standing on the ground, fire away, West Virginians.

DahBoner June 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Pizza deliv—BLAM! BLAM!

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Can't anyone spell Mongolia correctly anymore?

Barrelhse June 14, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Monongalia is a medical term referring to a vaginal condition where the labia are only formed on one side.

telecustom1972 June 14, 2012 at 7:03 pm

"It’s in God’s hands now". – I, for one, am "F" – ing psyched to see how God is going to rule on this one!

valthemus June 14, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Is that another smiling mug shot? Egad! I demand shame and desolation from my mug shots, by jingo!

Is he really gay? I'm always suspicious of gay Republicans. I can't help it. I certainly don't think they should attempt relationships. There's a reason why God created RentBoy.com.

comrad_darkness June 14, 2012 at 8:22 pm

If everything is In God's Hands, why the fuck does he need a gun?

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Selah, shalom, amen, and cocked.

ElPinche June 14, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I'm off tomorrow so I'm about to engage in some wanton endangerments myself.

tessiee June 14, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Hiram Lewis?
Hiram WALKER, if I know anything about it!

tessiee June 14, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Police got suspicious when Hiram Lewis called them and told them to "just ignore" any calls from Stephen Bogart.

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 11:24 pm

If he'd been Black or Latino, the SWAT team would have been there three weeks ago and they'd all be died. And people complain about police department cutbacks.

ttommyunger June 14, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Upon hearing the news, NRA's Wayne La Pussyfart Lapierre reportedly snorted: "Shot him in the leg? We teach them better than that!".

TribecaMike June 15, 2012 at 12:45 am

Hacks smiling in their mug shots has become the norm, but hacks giving come hither looks in their mug shots is just plain wrong.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Good thing you can drink all those fuckers under the table, then, innit?

Just take care of your liver when you can, dood.

Chichikovovich June 14, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Do you hang out with Waylon and Willie and the boys?[Thanks for bringing back Sharkcat/Behemoth by the way!]—

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 10:28 pm

That's sweet. Newbies should be encouraged. (Hugs the girl)

BaldarTFlagass June 15, 2012 at 12:08 am

Well, Waylon's dead almost a decade, and Willie's nearing 80, but I have attended a couple Willie picnics out there, many moons ago.

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