Well howdy doo, no one told us the first Lincoln-Douglas debate of the season was going to be today: “Republican nominee Mitt Romney’s guerrilla tactics continued Thursday, as the campaign bus circled the venue where President Barack Obama will be speaking this afternoon… the bus honked its horn dozens of times, before circling around to do it again.” Well. This is a new thing. Sure, the McCain campaign would do this from time to time ’08. But it wasn’t a planned campaign tactic, just the inevitable result of a staffer leaving car keys next to the Ambien bottles in McCain’s hotel room.
This is fine, though. Let’s have more of this. Hell, make it the entire campaign from now on, just an escalating series of juvenile pranks. The Romney bus comes to honk and drive in circles at an Obama event, then Obama sneaks up on Romney for a kidney punch, Romney slips down the White House chimney to collect Obama’s scalp, Michelle Obama takes a shit in Tagg Romney’s driveway, Ann Romney steals the nuke codes and sets off 100 nukes, Joe Biden digs up George Romney’s body and puts his hand up to the corpse’s balls like he’s fondling them and Instagrams five different version of the pic, Mitt Romney kidnaps Sasha and Malia and doesn’t return them, Obama puts Romney’s hand in hot water while he’s sleeping and Mitt Romney wets the bed and finally concedes defeat.
Or spend give more months spewing feel-good talking points about nothing and repeat them every day and wonder why know one shows up to vote. That’s a more traditional campaign model
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Mittens just wanted to remind everyone that he was still a honky.
Oh, like there's any danger of anyone forgetting.
Quick! Someone slap some truck nuts on that bus!
This election is going to cost a billion dollars while some children will go to bed hungry tonight. There has to be a better way.
Well Jonathan Swift had a modest proposal about hunger.
Mitt's ancestors came from England, so they might consider that proposal to be way too Irish.
Americans spend billions on illegal drugs and gambling at casinos.
BUT DON'T RAISE TAXES ONE CENT!! WE CAN'T AFFFORD IT!!!!
Wow, you just described my vacation that starts here in a couple of hours.
Are you going to the WSOP?
Well to be fair it's far better to have higher fees and tolls than taxes because shut up socialist.
But if you do raise taxes, don't spend it feeding hungry children! Corporations and defense contractors are people too, my friend.
Bus duels are the worst form of government. Except for all the others.
Too serious, sad now.
I didn't mean to make you sad. I'm truly sorry.
If I win the poker tournament I will come back and buy you the prettiest pony you've ever seen.
Hooray!
It's OK, I'm no sadder than I ever am when contemplating the state of the world.
You should come with me and be my good luck charm. It's fun to get leggy cocktail servers to go and fetch candied apples for us when we need something to nosh on.
Are you any good at poker?
Editor needed, Jim.
Also, too, why can't we have more vile invective-hurling?
"OK, who's the asshole that TPed the White House?"
Honk if you're horny Mitt!
Next, Mittens will call the Obama campaign to ask if they have Prince Albert in a can.
Or if his refrigerator is running.
Or if his nose is running and if his feet smell
Oh, please let that bus break down in West Hollywood, like Gingrinch's bus. The residents of Boys Town will have a field day with these jerks…
West Hollywood? Hell, I 'd like to see it break down in East St. Louis.
It won't. When Mittens pays his mechanics on credit, his credit is actually good.
Mitten's bus is horny? Take it to Jiffy Lube for a good hosing.
That black man is reminding people that America is rigged in favor of my owner? ROMNEY BUS WILL DROWN THAT NOISE OUT HONK HONK HONK HONK.
Romney Bus programmed by same person that programmed Romney. HONK HONK HONK HONK.
Note to Mittens, Obama knows the Chicago way.
As reported on Fox: sources say DNC will deploy "truth telling teams" to events in each city Romney will visit on his bus tour
We tell the truth, they honk and make fun. Pretty accurate description of the campaign so far…
Wow, who knew the Romney campaign was this rude?
Jes' a few NASCAR fans in plastic ponchos, a cafe owner in Podunksville, and almost every other sentient being in the universe?
Even the trianic energy beings in the Delta Quadrant? Yep, even the residents of the dark matter nebula know this.
Just free-associating here, but in the 80's there was this charming Scottish movie called 'Gregory's Girl' & one of the catch phrases was "It's a well-known fact"… http://www.hulu.com/watch/185085
Needz moar vevuzelas.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Oh sure, it's all fun until someone loses an eye.
Barack Obama, Leader of the Free World.
Mitt Romney, 8th Grader.
Leader of the 8th grade.
Or at least everyone else lets him say he's the leader so he'll stop asking to be all the frickin' time
Bully of the seventh graders.
Bully of the
seventhfifth graders.Fixed that to more accurately reflect the Party of Limbaugh.
Thanks
Is this going to be Romney's campaign theme?
"I'm a jerk, vote for me?"
It's worked for every other elected Republican.
Trudat.
He heard it was 'Honk if you love Billionaires Day'. Which is why noone else was honking.
More precisely, "I'm a white jerk, vote for me."
Bus drives around; asshole honks horn. You can't explain it.
Bus doing dougnuts in the parking lot… Guess they still haven't correctly identified it…
Its the bus from “Speed.” If it ever slows down or stops, it’ll explode.
Because a bus going around in circles is such an auspicious, inspiring metaphor for one's campaign?
And making a lot of useless noise.
I know it's difficult to see anything positive in this, but still, it shows significant improvement over shoving people to the ground and cutting off their hair.
Well, yeah, if you like diesel fumes…
Uh Oh, this is going to end up with someone getting a haircut …
May I just point out the beautiful symmetrical synchronicity in these back-to-back comments?
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
I just want to point out when the bus started honking the students got out of their seats to look. Thus pissing away the limited period time that the history teacher has in discussing the constitution's 7th amendment.
Until we can officially pay them less, we can undermine 'em in other ways.
i just love Moroni-fueled hijinx.
Mommy,why does it rain? Well it rains when Jesus cries.Mommy,why would Jesus cry? Jesus cries every time a person tells a lie,son.Mommy Mitt Romeny is giving a speech today,better take your umbrella.Kids know it's bad to lie.Why dose Mittens keep making Jesus cry?
Romney is just doing a bizarre remake of Speed. He's cast himself as Keanu Reeves, and Dennis Hopper is coming back strapped to the bus roof.
Obama will eventually catch Romney with his magic pants down.
During their first debate if we're lucky.
The Rmoneys were honking for the valet to come detail the bus.
Heehee!
"You mean that's not the valet? That's the President?!?!"
Mumble mumble mop handle mumble.
Romney's campaign downfall begins the moment he steals Obama's Mascot. You can't handle the Biden, Mitt.
The mental image of someone attempting to steal Joe Biden just sent me into gales of laughter.
Thank you for that.
The Ransom of Red Chief.
The Biden would go along with it too, if only to raid Romney's fridge.
Wait until Mitt uses his police officer disguise to pull the Obama bus over — that'll be loads of fun.
The Obama campaign can just put up signs around the venue: Honk If You Support The President.
Maybe you can get a job with Team Obama. That's fucking great.
That so needs to happen. Please someone make it happen. You know he's going to drive around honking at the next speech, and it shouldn't be difficult to prepare.
Top Story this afternoon: White House totally covered in T.P. Flaming bag of dog poo found on front stairs.
What happened to the dog on the roof of the bus?
Hey, McFly! I thought I told you never to come in here!
Praise be to Kolob.
http://www.whatiskolob.com/
Derrick, did you put up that website? Confess!
Important safety tip for Romney (or at least the driver and other occupants): The man you're trying to irritate commands the use of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AGM-114_Hellfire
Also, drives with these in convoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHHj8IavEjk
Oiks! Remind me to never run against a sitting president.
Romney's team will then totally disassemble the Affordable Care Act and then reassemble it on the roof of the Capitol Building.
How excellent would it be if Barry had Mittens arrested?
LL, where ya been? I just finished a book you should read. Winter in Madrid by C.J. Sansom.
I was unable to look at the maimed goats and pigs! I am off to Amazon to check on that book!
You should try two by Simon Mawer “Trapeze” and “The Glass Room”.
On it. Thanks.
That brown goo dripping down the side of the building? Freedom.
Romney pitch to his campaign team:
"Ok, ok ok, get this! We all dress up in blackface, right? and stand in the front at Obama's next speech and when he's talking we go "Oooh ooh,Ima black man. He so good oooh where's my Solyndra and my welfare?" and then we run a way laughing and just, like laaaughin' …"
I'm pretty sure I've heard Rush Limbaugh do this bit, but using "blackvoice" instead of blackface.
Obama's Sharia Bus honks each day for Mid Day Prayer.
A magic panties raid is next.
This should not be getting press, since it will only encourage Willard to do it again–with crated dogs on top.
I totally get why even Republicans hate this guy.
I used to live in Cleveland.
This honking was was standard behavior for visitors looking for the interstate on-ramp.
HA HA. You can't fool me. To have an interstate on ramp, Cleveland would have to in one of the states. And we know … wait … what? … really.
To be fair, it could be hard to see the interstate what with all the smoke from the river being on fire.
Leave Cleveland alone, it's a great place to have used to have lived in! El Lay has been drowning in a bowl of smoke for 50 years!
Jeez, that happened in '69, and they've been cleaning it up since then: http://www.cleveland.com/science/index.ssf/2009/0…
Judging by all the people who still think Pittsburgh has steel mills in it, Cleveland has another 40 years to go before people forget the burning river.
Ha, I got out of Cleveland before I got into sports or developed that Cleveland-Pittsburgh football animosity. I will rib a bratwurst-chomping cheesehead about the Packers collapse last season though. (Chicagoans are just as much bratwurst-chomping cheese eaters, I guess that's why we mock them.)
I have family in Cleveland. I discovered once that they are touchy when you make "river on fire" jokes so I go back to the well often.
And leave El Lay alone! Our smog levels have been going down for many years. Why, on a summer day like today the hills are not obscured by a veil of brown goo hanging in the air and children and old people are almost never ordered to stay inside anymore. That's progress.
What part of Cleveland? I grew up to age 14 on the east side, near Shaker Heights, and my relatives now live in the east suburbs. I don't know nothin' about the west side or west suburbs. And I've been in Chicago since '74, so I'm just a Cleveland Frequent Visitor.
You would have us believe that people actually visited Cleveland?
People have relatives.
That's how they find out about the outside world.
Can't say more now.
I actually visited Cleveland. More than once, even.
Been there twice in one visit!
What? Did they think it was like a remote control thing? Honk and a ramp magically descends from I80?
What next? Rmoney distributing slam books at the next campaign stop?
I have no idea what those are, but sounds good.
These, darling. And please to note the special emphasis on "usually done in middle school, by girls" qualifier.
This is also good news for John McCain.
Hey, you aren't a member of one of the world's fastest growing religion w/o learning something about marketing.
Mumble mumble birthrates mumble.
LOL but the "one of the world's fastest growing religions" meme is actually a myth. There are roughly as many Mormons in the world as there are Jews (around 13 to 14 million), but you never hear Judaism called one of the fastest growing religions.
Does the "fastest growing" number including posthumous baptisms? Every Mormon I have asked just gets feigned indignation when I ask them that.
I remember this movie–"Revenge Of the Turds III a Bus Going in Circles."
Mitt's new campaign slogan: "I Know You Are, But What Am I?"
This drive around honking is pretty much how Dubya looked for bin Laden. Also how he picked his VP. Probably got him laid once in high school so he used whenever possible.
Actually, Bush picked his VP by asking Cheney to drive around honking. McCain picked up his VP trying to buy weed in the Target parking lot.
Presumably because he'd just blown through his last ounce chain-smoking Camberwell Carrots.
See, here's the thing. Romney isn't even really all that good at being an asshole.
Even though he's had soooooo much practice.
By damn, that was a seriously insightful comment there, poorgradstudent. Kudos and an upfist.
Awww shucks.
Mitt is still just a juvenile delinquent at heart.
If the pranks starts involving drone strikes, I might be fine with it.
Time to unburden myself: I am so fucking sick of this back and forth I have trimmed my incoming emails by more than half. Even cut people I respect, including Al Franken (continually begging for more moneeze). I am being forced by the drip, drip, drip of negative energy to simply divert my gaze. I still plan to vote for Barry & Co., but I am burned out and it's only June. A pox on both houses!
The 2nd paragraph is what I come to Wonkette for – ideas.
You're move POTUS! I suggest a ring-&-run with a flaming bag of dog poo.
I'm guessing that Romney sticker is the first time Mitt's ever been on a bus.
I have an idea for a prank: they dig up Bishop Romney's dad and baptize him as a Christian. It would be a laugh riot.
Needz a Dukes of Hazzard Dixie horn and a Mr Microphone.
Honking your horn at a political rally? Is that the Mormon equivalent of making it rain at a strip club?
Proper response from Obama supporters was have been:
"Hey driver! Your dog fell off!"
I was at an Obama campaign event in Richmond in 1998 and a big military truck in camo paint with McCain signs all over it did the same thing outside the arena where we waited in line. So I'm thrilled to see that Mitt's using the time-tested tactics of the previous Republican loser. Also, when I go to another Obama rally I'll be sure to bring some bumper stickers to plaster onto said vehicle when it shows up again. Maybe not an Obama sticker, as funny as that would be — maybe the one I've always wanted to make to put on mean people's cars that says "I'd rather be f*cking your wife."
Darling, I think you mean 2008.
Yeah it's always later than I think — usually only by a few hours, but every so often a decade.
Careful Mittens, your a prime target for a wedgie.
President Mittens is going to drive around honking until the economy improves.
The Nixon team had the guts to break into the Democratic Headquarters.
This is just annoying, Mittens. At least try to commit some felonies trying to win the election and maybe the Republicans will finally like you.
Central Rules! Eastside High School Sux!
Speaking of Juvenile pranks
We’ve seen what happened in Wisconsin with Walker outspending Barrett 8 to 1 after destroying the unions that provide financial backing to the Democratic Party. We’ve seen what is happening in Florida, with Rick Scott flat out ignoring the Justice Department (in clear violation of the law) and continuing to purge voter rolls. Now there is Michigan, where the Republican held congress has, in violation of their state constitution, passed a new law to take effect immediately making it more difficult to vote. In fact, 14 states (constituting 70% of the delegates needed to win the general election) have recently passed laws making it more difficult to vote. All this is word of Maddow (if you want a source). The police have done their best to dismantle occupy (though there was no such effort against the tea party). This is dirty politics like I didn’t even know was possible in this country.
Anyone else starting to get real nervous about November? Can anyone a bit older tell me if there is any precedent for stuff like this?
Nixon 1972?
I was worried 40 years ago, now it is more a grim acceptance of the facts on the ground. As for precedents, not really, we are in a stupid new world.
Governor Wallace and Jim Crow laws? Quite a lot of popular support for voter suppression back in those days.
Mitten's campaign knows exactly what they are doing. The average Republic(sic) Party voter has the IQ of a turnip and the world view of a 13 year old animal torturer. Driving a bus in circles and blowing the horn is sophisticated campaigning to them.
The sheer grade school stupidity of this is annoying, but what it says about the republicans opinion of the American electorate is telling. They believe that most Americans have the mentality of a sixth grade boy trying to get even with someone. Sigh, the problem is that I am beginning to think they are right.
They seem to think that just because their guys, when shadowed, blurt out random and obscure racial epithets like "hey, macaca!", that everyone does this. Seems like flawed reasoning.
You seem to think that just because you use reasoning, that everyone does this.
:P
Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! We totally should toilet paper Mitten's house! Which ones? All of them, Katie.
Mitt is a master of diplomacy indeed! China is just gonna love this guy, there is nothing they like more than loosing face for a few good laughs…..
I look forward to the first Presidential debate, in which RMoney and a group of his friends hold President Obama down on stage and shave his head*.
*This would not take long.
Were there kids smoking pot outside, by any chance? Perhaps Mittens simply wanted to alert the authorities.
This is the campaign that sent Obama headquarters their used pizza. They can't even do pranks right.
I've never gone to BuzzFeed before…holy cow! Those commentators must be the most racist, vile shit sacks I've ever read!
Kudos to the Obama folks for taking advantage of the situation and pushing several GOD HATES FAGS freaks into the path of the bus.
Save the date and protest at their fucking funerals.
I imagined Romney's bus being much shorter.
Obama could end this stupidity if he sent a Predator Drone to circle the next venue at which Romney was speaking.
Did Pam Geller pinch-post that last paragraph, Jim?
"Honk if you need a new wife"
Honk if you support Gay Pride, Romney!!
Sadly, not really. I'll wish you luck, though!
Thanks!
Matter of fact, I've got an aunt and uncle who live in Shaker, right on Shaker Heights Blvd. They've been there about twenty years and I think I've been to their house twice. In addition, my grandmother was a native who lived in Cleveland until she married my grandfather, and her brother and his wife lived there all their lives and raised their kids there. Couldn't tell you what part of the city any of them lived in, though. There is a long history of my penguin forbears living in Cleveland, is what I'm saying.
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