THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A DAME  12:40 pm June 14, 2012

Gretchen Carlson Snaps, Storms Off Fox & Friends, Due To Chronic Exposure To Brian Kilmeade (Video)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Smell the loveHahaha, WOMEN. They are everywhere, just cold waving their boobs and their sideboobs in beady-eyed Fox & Friends cohost Brian Kilmeade’s mean little face. (We are going to assume we are not the only ones who can detect a whiff of Eau de Date Rape wafting in the air around Mr. Kilmeade?) And he’s always jeering and frat-boying around and he never even sticks a dollar in the Douche Jar!

Well Gretchen Carlson, who has stuck with Fox & Friends since … whenever she started there, had enough of Kilmeade’s patented clever take on ladies and how they’re always [grumble, Trumpy-thing, snitty-thing, sneer], and today her usual inner voices that kick in when she listens to the patented boorishness of Brian Kilmeade — One night, as he lies sleeping. Icepick, right in his softened skull. She knows seven ways to kill a man. She knows just the point to drive it home — well today even such lovely silken baubles of daydreams will not soothe her, and there is nothing left to do but storm off set while “laughing” shrilly. Brian Kilmeade has broken her. She is broken. She is broke.

We wonder if Gretchen Carlson and Mika B. ever get together and bring out their ninja knives of cold-forged steel and compare them, and lovingly plot the mayhem they will do. Perhaps they will switch targets, a la Throw Momma From the Train. It is perfect. A perfect plan. Kilmeade and Joe might have broken them, but they will have their Revenge.

[ThinkProgress]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 180 comments }

nounverb911 June 14, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Mission Accomplished?

sullivanst June 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Well, he did say "Finally"

VaWyo June 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

The fox mission will not be accomplished until women are back in the house, barefoot and pregnant, without the ability to vote or own property. Sharia Law will look modern by comparison.

DerrickWildcat June 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Brian Kilmeade is the smart one.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Brian Kilmeade will probably get fired. After all, Gretchen's the one with the upskirt videos.

Exhausted66 June 14, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I want to look – but those eyes, those crazy eyes!

Guppy June 14, 2012 at 1:51 pm

That's not where her eyes are.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 2:22 pm

But her teeth?

M. Szyslak June 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Sharon Stone wears less under things.Oh my….

Fare la Volpe June 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I threw up from the comments alone. Where did these freaks learn to talk to women? Adelie penguins?

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I thought Steve Douchey was the smart one.

nounverb911 June 14, 2012 at 12:44 pm

"She needed a shower."
Yes. A Silkwood shower.

ttommyunger June 14, 2012 at 2:51 pm

And I'm pretty sure a douche wouldn't do any harm to that rancid twinky of hers.

mrpuma2u June 14, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Does this mean Current is going to hire her?

nounverb911 June 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Well, she's saner than Olbermann.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

And obviously has a thicker skin

mrpuma2u June 14, 2012 at 2:23 pm

That's setting bar rather low, she would have to some serious batshit crazy AND a limbo hoochie mama to get under that .

poorgradstudent June 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I predict HLN, so she can become the disciple of Nancy Grace (until Nancy decides to tear her throat out for the delicious blood inside).

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 7:20 pm

That would be nice, since that way nobody will know where to find her.

Estproph June 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

What took her so long?

Lascauxcaveman June 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Seriously, wasn't she a Rhodes Scholar and and Stanford MBA? How could she put up with the stupid, promoting the stupid, wallowing in the stupid, having the stupid rammed down her throat every working day of the week and not have snapped already?

I know, the paycheck of a network teevee anchor is a nice soothing balm, but still.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I imagine in her dressing room there are two voodoo dolls: one male and vapidly blonde, the other low-browed with a sign "KillMe" around its neck

Her biography shows a Cum Loudly degree in Sociology(?!) from Stanford with a semester at Oxford but no mention of a Rhodes Scholarship

One of her nannies growing up was Miche1e Bachmann, however.

Mumbletypeg June 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Say… You know who else "stormed off" the scene when confronted with some verbiage she didn't wanna hear?

miss_grundy June 14, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Lou Sarah????

Fox n Fiends June 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Money, Fame, Narcisism….the usual suspects

Ryy June 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Fox and Foes

elviouslyqueer June 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Fuckwits and Freaks, more like.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Fox 'n Hoes.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

The bleach finally soaked thru the skull.

sewollef June 14, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Not possible. That skull is made of pure Armortec™ with a Kevlar™ lining surrounding the living tissue known as Fluffy White Clouds™.

Nothing, and I mean nothing gets through that skull…!

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Ah, she's probably just on the rag.
—Brian Kilmeade

calliecallie June 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm

which is why she needed the shower. duh.

Geminisunmars June 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Gosh, I'm so torn.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I wish Kilmeade was.

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 6:10 pm

I'm rent. Nice to meet you.

ManchuCandidate June 14, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I would not be shocked/surprised/amazed that Brian's favorite suit is a Sexual Harassment One.

VaWyo June 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

At least he has Bill O'Reilly to go to for advice.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 2:57 pm

It's probably Sexual Harassment Three. Isn't that more serious?

OneYieldRegular June 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

That guy is in sore need of a midnight visit from the ghost of Valerie Solanas.

Geminisunmars June 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Gretchen might benefit by a visit too.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I envision a sort of Drop Squad deprogramming for Gretchen. She probably *desperately* needs something like that.

Swampgas_Man June 14, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I would settle for a very much alive Lorena Bobbitt.

M. Bouffant June 15, 2012 at 2:43 am

S.C.U.M.!!!!!

Blueb4sunrise June 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

She's off to make sammiches!

elviouslyqueer June 14, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Or maybe just a lovely turkey pot pie.

Antispandex June 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"Leaving an all male crew"….Huh, something makes me think that was your plan all along, Brian.

edgydrifter June 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Gretchens always be trippin', amirite?

jerichothedrifter June 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I've had dogs smarter than Kilmeade and Doocey.

timbo71351 June 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Steve Doocey may be one of the dumbest motherfuckers on Earth. I'm convinced his only purpose is to generate material for Stewart and Colbert.

jerichothedrifter June 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Shemp Howard was smarter than Doocey.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I've raised paramecia with better manners.

Geminisunmars June 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

With better personalities too (or is that caninalities?).

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Hell, there are probably pomeranians smarter than Kilmeade and Douchy.

scvirginia June 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

All of them, Katie!

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Did they have a stroke or somthing?

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 2:59 pm

If they could've, they would've, but Gretchen got away in time.

Callyson June 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm

"She needed a shower"

Hope someone gives this prick a golden shower…

miss_grundy June 14, 2012 at 11:06 pm

No, a lead shower.

Dang, I'm thinking violent thoughts…….

KotBR June 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Fox is going to get some angry letters about a woman standing up and walking away without being excused by her male superiors.

sbj1964 June 14, 2012 at 12:50 pm

The three stooges of moring news.

freakishlywrong June 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Joe, Mika and Willie are a close second.

EatsBabyDingos June 14, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Douche. Douchebag. Douchimama. Douchemax. DoucheyDoucey. Generalissimo Douchismo Douchefranko. #douching. Douchotomy. Supercalafragalisticexpialidouchy.

With Fox Friends like these, you will never lose that fresh feeling.

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm

La Douché Vita.

scvirginia June 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Did Irma get married?

HarryButtle June 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Supercalafragalisticexpialidouchy.

I'm stealing that.

edgydrifter June 14, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Somewhere deep in the bowels of Fox News HQ, Roger Ailes just scribbled a few notes on a clipboard under the heading "Test Subject GC," chuckling softly to himself.

keinsignal June 14, 2012 at 1:28 pm

This was a triumph.

SexySmurf June 14, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Brian forgot to slap her ass as she left.

"And get me a cup of coffee while you're up, doll face."

EatsBabyDingos June 14, 2012 at 1:13 pm

then, turn to your pal and say "She's a real doll. She's my doll. Get it? My Doll?"

Eve8Apples June 14, 2012 at 12:53 pm

The "Friends" in Fox & Friends refers to fella friends not female friends.

mavenmaven June 14, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Gretchen Carlson, RINO

pickletickle June 14, 2012 at 12:53 pm

His last line is priceless, "She needed a shower." She probably spritzes herself with Sarah Palin's "Indignation" perfume every morning.

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

What do you call a token blonde airhead conservative woman who's finally had enough of Kilmeade and Douchy's peurile cliched casual abusiveness?

A liberal on the rag.

Left_Leftie June 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Aren't the blonds on Fox news pretty much interchangeable anyway?

She needed a shower??? I need a shower after watching that meat-head exchange. GAH!

Exhausted66 June 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

She needs a shower… not a douche.

Nostrildamus June 14, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Yay!

Generation[redacted] June 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

She found out she gets paid a lot less to criticize the Fair Pay Act.

Chet Kincaid June 14, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Oh, that's delicious!

VaWyo June 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Dare to dream!

weejee June 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Do your pronounce Brian's family name same as Chlamydia?

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I think it's "Kill ME duh"

elviouslyqueer June 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I believe the phonetic pronunciation is [sek-sist] [as-hohl].

fartknocker June 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Being offended by sexism while working at Fox is similar to complaining about the smell of human feces while working at a sewage treatment plant.

MOG2410 June 14, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Actually, it's not just similar it's the same!

CommieLibunatic June 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

And some guys wonder why they're still single?

VaWyo June 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Because they are gay?

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Brian's not gay! He just has snappy fashion sense, and impeccable interior design taste that women like Gretchen are so jealous of, the bitch!

jerichothedrifter June 14, 2012 at 2:44 pm

And is also a weapons-grade dumbass.

Jus_Wonderin June 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

OT: Does anyone feel like their avatar might have been diddled yesterday when it was missing (avatarnapped)?

Chichikovovich June 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Baldar's new avatar looks like the aliens gave it the anal probe treatment.

Jus_Wonderin June 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I fear mine was used as the "puppy in the van" to lure other avatars in.

Mumbletypeg June 14, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I saw your expression of regret yesterday that our favored "Behemoth" the Cat lookalike of Baldar's was replaced. Suffice imagination to replace his visually-approximative reminders?

Alas, we make do with the avatar-viewings we have, not the ones we wish we had~

Chet Kincaid June 14, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Mine may have been told to put the lotion on its skin.

Jus_Wonderin June 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Some folks always get the cool jobs!

widestanceromance June 14, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Come to think of it, it was uncharacteristically moist this morning. . .

Guppy June 14, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Most likely. My avatar is a total slut.

MOG2410 June 14, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Thus the bag on her head.

owhatever June 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Apology to come: We here at Fox News regret that Gretchen Carlson considered something another host said to be in an unintended way that she thought was possibly inappropriate under some circumstances. She is welcome to return to her position on the couch between the two men as soon as she fixes her eyes and hair and undergoes a strictly routine transvaginal examination.

a_pink_poodle June 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Now that the ladies are gone, bring on the men! We'll have them dance around some poles and rub oil on their firm, strong chests, shake their bulging pants in my face… let me touch their firm waists… *pant pant* wh… what was I talking about?

miss_grundy June 14, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Did you just see the NSFW trailers for "Magic Mike"?????????

a_pink_poodle June 15, 2012 at 12:08 am

There's NSFW trailers?!

Fairtackle June 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Looks like she forgot to take her roofies this morning.

Dildeaux June 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Women are so erratic and emotional. They cant be trusted to think straight because of hormones and stuff.

Dildeaux has been asked: How do you make a hormone? Dont pay her.

Is this thing on?

Chill_Bill June 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

She's obviously PMSing.

Mumbletypeg June 14, 2012 at 1:39 pm

TAGS: MIDOL…

Why can't she "Trust The Midas Midol Touch"?

Chichikovovich June 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

She seemed generally good humoured walking out, and that was a pretty mild remark compared to the stuff that typically comes out of Kilmeade's mouth. (Remember when he said that the welfare state can work in Scandinavia because they have a homogeneous population, unlike the US? Can't remember the exact words, but it was evidently code for "no blacks or hispanics" — he even had to apologize for that one.) I wouldn't be surprised if it was scripted.

Edit: Rather than 'apologize' I should have written "give what passes as an 'apology' in Fox/Republican circles."

NYNYNYjr June 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I don't remember when Kilmeade said that, or how he phrased it, but he is right, the smaller and more homogeneous the state, the more likely social welfare/help everyone type laws will work. Why don't we have (e.g.) universal healthcare here? Because in their (our) hearts the white people think "I'm not paying for all those black people." Stuff like that will only work here in the degree that we really in our hearts become less racist.

Chichikovovich June 14, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Canada has two distinct cultures with distinct languages, significant regional differences, large immigrant population…. And it does universal health care just fine, despite this heterogeneity. New Zealand has a large Maori population and does universal health care just fine. Switzerland has four official languages, with distinct cultures for each. They do universal health care just fine. The “heterogeneity” excuse is just a right-wing dodge aimed at preserving their preconceived beliefs against the obvious fact that flourishing social democracies exist and some are doing better than the US.—

NYNYNYjr June 15, 2012 at 12:00 am

I think size has something to do with it too… those countries have 1/10, 1/100 and 1/50 the size populations respectively of U.S. (Also, I mean, the Swiss, yes, some speak different languages, but it's been the Cantons vs. the world for a long time). We are a very homogeneous and racist country….course England is too, but they have healthcare.

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

What kind of fucking name is "Gretchen," anyway? Did her parents name her sisters "Bertha" and "Mabel"? Too much old-school.

Chet Kincaid June 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Push-up dirndl or GTFO!

Mumbletypeg June 14, 2012 at 1:25 pm

HEY!! My grandmama was a "Mabel."

She loathed us calling her Grandmama too, but that's what stuck; no "Nana" or "MeeMaw" ever caught with her. This was prior to when such lengthy formal/actual monikers for your forebears would become superceded by endearing "G.G." and "C.C." grandparently-euphemistic substitute nicknames.

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

My great grandma was a Bertha. But she has an excuse, she was born in Eighteen Eighty fucking Five.

anniegetyerfun June 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Yeah, we have Mabel, Blanche, Gertrude, Hazel, and more. I like all those names.

MOG2410 June 14, 2012 at 2:37 pm

We had a Bertha, Flora and Thelma – but again, so 19th century!

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 3:05 pm

We had an Aunt Mae. Time to bring Mae back. The name I mean; auntie was a real harridan.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I know a lady named April, and another named June. Let's bring Mae back, she'll fit right in.

Nostrildamus June 14, 2012 at 3:06 pm

She's Gretchen 'cause she's fetchin'

(probably coffee and sammiches).

Mittens Howell, III June 14, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Brian make Barbie mad.

SexySmurf June 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Working at Fox & Friends is too demeaning; Gretchen is going to see if she can get her old job back at Hooters.

Fox n Fiends June 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm

oh man, go read the comments on her youtube "upskirt" videos. wow.

HarryButtle June 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm

That cunt!

(Hey, y'all were thinkin' it, too.)

Mittens Howell, III June 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Gretchen goes Galt.

RedneckMuslin June 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

She's probably on her way to the kitchen to make some cookies.

widestanceromance June 14, 2012 at 1:08 pm

How long until she formally apologizes for leaving the room without first asking the men if she could?

I love the smell of staged female hysteria in the morning.

Designer_Radio June 14, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Which begs another question; Why is Gretch even on the teevee in the first place? Biblically speaking of course, women are to be seen and not heard. I may have to find a more Christian news outlet, like that nice young Brian Fischer I've heard so much about.

calliecallie June 14, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Gretchen is just fed up to here with that war on women!

Chet Kincaid June 14, 2012 at 1:09 pm

After all the youtube clips of Gretchen gleefully doing FOX's dirty work on hundreds of liberal targets, I have no crocodile tears for the bitch's predicament.

widestanceromance June 14, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Here, here. Unless she really did finally get that clue in the mail and is ready to defect the deathstar, I'm not buying this ploy.

emmelemm June 14, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Amen.

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2012 at 1:10 pm

"Coming up next — the liberals' made-up accusations of a war on women."

widestanceromance June 14, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Maybe she had to make a run to the menstrual hut before they discovered her 'uncleanth'?

BarackMyWorld June 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Gretchen can't believe she graduated with honors with Stanford for this shit…and neither can anyone else.

JustPixelz June 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm

"She needed a shower."

He may as well have added, "Because her ass is to big" on national teevee.

Fox usually doesn't cover the War on Women®. but this time reported and we decided.

Funny, the camera usually adds 10 IQ points.

ratcityrebel June 14, 2012 at 1:12 pm

During a discussion of "ladycaves" (meaning here a room for women to have some privacy and do their own thing in, not the other kind of ladycave) Kilmeade turned to Carlson and asked "Didn't men give you the kitchen?" She showed tremendous restraint by not punching his balls into his abdomen.

Jus_Wonderin June 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Only dogs will here the "ouch" I just uttered. Uddered??

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Oh, my. He's really not very bright, is he?

Come here a minute June 14, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Criss cross.

Blueb4sunrise June 14, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Page two and no-one said that Douchie and Killme are the side boobs.

anniegetyerfun June 14, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Brian Kilmeade remarked, “Women are everywhere. We’re letting them play golf and tennis now. It’s out of control.”

Tennis being such a new sport to women.

ph7 June 14, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Brian Kilmeade is Bobby Rigg's lovechild.

LagunaB June 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

And there is a 1000% increase in women owning companies, more women go to college and graduate, more women go on to get masters and Phd's, etc, etc. We own our own homes and have children and well paying careers. So yeah guys – suck it losers. (Present males excluded).

spareme June 15, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Too bad she didn't have a golf club in her hand at the time.

Baconzgood June 14, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Fucking cunt better be leaving to make him a sandwich.

Limeylizzie June 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm

OT Mitt's campaign bus is circling around where POTUS is going to speak and honking its horn, which btw is illegal in Ohio.
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/201

glamourdammerung June 14, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I am getting so tired of obnoxious children thinking that acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum is somehow a valid political philosophy.

Blueb4sunrise June 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Hey LL, glad you're back.

Limeylizzie June 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I have been here, but I seriously couldn't look at the goats being maimed all day! But thanks!

Generation[redacted] June 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

"The state court of appeals ruled that honking isn't a protected form of speech, and now the case is before the state Supreme Court."

That's easy to fix. Just replace the horn that goes "beep" with one that says, "Hey Asshole!" Ta-da! Speech!

Also, Mittens is going to pull his bus up alongside Obama's speech, blast some rap music and use his new hydraulics to bounce the front tires off the ground.

GeneralLerong June 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Y'know, a Leatherman tool makes a pretty good tire slasher.

Never leave home without mine. And my gray hoodie.

Exhausted66 June 14, 2012 at 1:32 pm

99 comments, but a bitch ain't one.

Dildeaux June 14, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Dildeaux believes Gretchens outrage, not unlike her hair color, is manufactured.

Designer_Radio June 14, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Somone's on the rag.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I used to say that under my breath when the Wife Person was being unreasonable. That woman had a vicious knuckle-punch.

AtwatersGhost June 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Needz Moar Eyebrowz!!

johnnyzhivago June 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Gretchen would look good in a Burka!

BaldarTFlagass June 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Like my pappy says, ya fly with crows, yer gonna get shot at.

niblick77 June 14, 2012 at 1:51 pm

She is vying for that open spot at 6 PM (EST) on CNN!

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 1:53 pm

In the Fox-O-Sphere, this is what passes for an intelligent conversation.

Jimmyone June 14, 2012 at 1:53 pm

o/t…..There are those little moments in life that are sooo satisfying, yet leave ya with a little doubt left over……Like MSNBC is covering Mittens speech right now…..so I hit the mute button…satisfying my urge to silence the lies…yet not so satisfying as punching him in the face.

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 2:22 pm

At the start of the video, is Steve Douchey interviewing the head of Scientology's Sea Org?

BornInATrailer June 14, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Look, the 3 people I am not supposed to wish get raped to death by a pack of syphilitic Shetland ponies.

So it's a good thing I didn't wish that.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Why would you wish syphilis on poor, innocent little Shetland ponies?

That's so cruel.

glasspusher June 14, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Ah…Gretchen was teh hotness (with Denise) at CBS in NYC back in the day…moving to fox killed that for me like finding out Janine Turner is batshit. Maybe Gretchen is coming back to the light? All is forgiven!

DahBoner June 14, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Where's her cheerleader uniform?

ttommyunger June 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

So, if Gretchen doesn't come back, so what? They still have the other blond cunt and the little beady-eyed one, right?

mayor_quimby June 14, 2012 at 5:45 pm

I thought Gretchen was the beady eyed one.

ttommyunger June 14, 2012 at 11:17 pm

More wall-eyed, I would say. Almost blew eyed; you know, one blew east, the other blew west.

Nostrildamus June 14, 2012 at 2:59 pm

"HR: We need a new blonde, stat!"

elburritodeluxe June 14, 2012 at 3:07 pm

She's probably burning her bra back in her dressing room with the other Women's Libbers! Am I right, guys? Have I self-consciously mined enough dated 70s references, guys?

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

"with the other Women's LibbersFeminazis!"

Yeah, I know it's not exactly '70s material but you know Kill-me and Douchey think that.

elburritodeluxe June 14, 2012 at 3:10 pm

That's funny, she's usually fine with Fox & Friends' thinly-veiled attacks on gays, blacks and Islam… What's different here?

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

The shoe only pinches when on one's own foot.

KennyCB June 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Can the Rhodes Trust demand that Miss Carlson return her Rhodes Scholarship?

valthemus June 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"We are going to assume we are not the only ones who can detect a whiff of Eau de Date Rape wafting in the air around Mr. Kilmeade?"

And here I thought I was the only one. Wonkette is the coolest.

(Double thanks to Wonkette for watching Fox so the rest of us don't have to.)

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I can't believe the crude sexism on this thread. She obviously had to rush out and get a boob job. Am I right, right wing ladies?

extreme_left June 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

hahahah.. women don't have penises.. hahahaha

rocktonsam June 14, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I WOULD NOW HIT THAT AND THAT WORLDS BIGGEST PUSSY KILMEADE

denverite June 22, 2012 at 12:28 am

Great timing. I hear Today show's looking for a perky host to replace low-ratings Ann Curry.

Guppy June 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: