RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  12:10 pm June 14, 2012

Celebrities Destroying America, According to Television

by Sulagna Misra

Such a pretty picture!According to the news today, the GOP hates celebrities, hates television, and hates words. St. Ronald Reagan would be so ashamed.
  • The GOP doesn’t like it when Obama uses celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker or Anna Wintour in his campaign, but they all fall over themselves over Donald Trump! See, the real problem is that no one cares about these celebrities anyway. Well, okay. Maybe Carrie Bradshaw, but you know people who watch a TV show about women in New York are a bunch of Obama-lovers anyway. [The Daily Beast]
  • Do presidential TV ads actually work? No, but they do showcase how a candidate will market himself. The graphics better be Avatar-level awesome, is what we’re saying. [Washington Post]
  • Here is an article about words conservatives hate and why. Wonkette didn’t make the list, but we know they think of us fondly. [The Atlantic]
  • Finally, here is an infographic about when we know about internships. The results will surprise you, but they show that Wonkette is a God among companies that have internships. Now excuse me, I have to go refill our editrix’s flask. [Slate]
 
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{ 71 comments }

nounverb911 June 14, 2012 at 12:13 pm

"here is an infographic about when we know about internships. "
Sulagna's looking for a raise?

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:15 pm

She's a paid intern?

How liberal of Editrix!

HoytClagwell June 14, 2012 at 12:25 pm

No raise for Sluggo until she stops forgetting the mouseover alt-text on the stories she files. I live for those.

Barb June 14, 2012 at 12:14 pm

"Now excuse me, I have to go refill our editrix’s flask."
And make sure that you stock the freezer with fresh tampons for her.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm

She probably pours her vodka straight onto her eyeball.

What?

Barb June 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Oh god! This HAD to be said?

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I'm told it's a thing! Enquiring minds and all.

Barb June 14, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Could you make it a "thing" as a post of your own and not tag every post I make with this nonsense, please?

weejee June 14, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Seems that drunk Data put too much vodka in the internship chart.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:15 pm

SLUGGO!

Wait, what does our Sexay Editrix drink?

I'm asking for a friend.

nounverb911 June 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm

The juice of fresh squeezed interns?

mrpuma2u June 14, 2012 at 12:18 pm

What does she drink? What do you have lots of?

gullywompr June 14, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I'd "fill her flask" any day. Just sayin'.

Lascauxcaveman June 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Here is an article about words conservatives hate and why.

Did you mean conservitaves or conseritaves? I understand there's a difference.

Katydid June 14, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Donald Trump is different because shut up.

Geminisunmars June 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Because he's the kind of celebrity white trash can relate to.

hollywooddood June 14, 2012 at 6:42 pm

We get George Clooney. They get Ted Nugent, Hank Williams, Jr. and Victoria Jackson.

nounverb911 June 14, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Why do conservatards not hate Wonkette?

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Do you mean "conseritards"?

pickletickle June 14, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Words, graphics? All the silky-smooth-voiced Barry has to do is sing an Al Green song for 30 seconds during daytime TV, and the chick's will be creaming themselves all the way to the polls.

nounverb911 June 14, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Television hasn't been the same since "Kukla, Fran and Ollie" went off the air.

Jus_Wonderin June 14, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Oddly, it does have more Bozos, nowadays.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:27 pm

*sipping Bear Whiz Beer quietly*

prommie June 14, 2012 at 12:30 pm

"Its in the water"

Jus_Wonderin June 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Madge: "You're soaking in it"…..

Is she still alive?

HarryButtle June 14, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Hey, they got Ted Nugent and Chuck Norris and that pig that used to be on Saturday Night Live and Alec Baldwin's goofy little brother, what are they complaining about?

freakishlywrong June 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm

That. They're complaining about that.

Geminisunmars June 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Yah, they got klass.

LetUsBray June 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

AND the voice of Sideshow Bob!

ManchuCandidate June 14, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Celebrity is the new ghey for GOPers.

gullywompr June 14, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Kirk Cameron is leading the charge on this.

gullywompr June 14, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Here's a word conservatives hate: "Fucking lousy fucking racist fucks!" Or at least, they didn't seem to care for it when I said it.

SexySmurf June 14, 2012 at 12:22 pm

the GOP hates celebrities

At first glance that seems hypocritical, but Janine Turner, Victoria Jackson, Scott Baio and that one Baldwin who isn't Alec haven't been famous in years.

gullywompr June 14, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Washington is Hollywood for ugly people. And Hollywood has-beens.

pickletickle June 14, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Some say those B-list celebs are B-list because of their political views. However, extensive research shows they are B-list because they fucking suck at acting.

fartknocker June 14, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I would much rather listen to Sarah Jessica Parker (and watch her breasts) for 60 seconds than listen to this blathering shit-fer-brains for the same time period:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU7fhIO7DG0

Antispandex June 14, 2012 at 12:24 pm

" Here is an article about words conservatives hate and why. "

They left off so many. For instance, there's "science", "logic", "reason", "fairness"…I could go on, but you get the point.

freakishlywrong June 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm

And..drumroll please; "librul".

fuflans June 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

'sermon on the mount'

RedneckMuslin June 14, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"Celebrities Destroying America, According to Television"

Yes, I agree. There's Chuck Norris, Ronald Reagan, Fred Thompson, and that one Baldwin brother. They kind of destroyed TV, too.

edgydrifter June 14, 2012 at 12:28 pm

What conservatives hate:

1) Things they don't understand
2) Things that differ from their imaginary ideal of "how things used to be"
3) Things that make them feel naughty in the shame-bits
4) Getting caught
5) Themselves (strictly at the subconscious level, though)

gullywompr June 14, 2012 at 12:34 pm

And us.

Antispandex June 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm

6.) Furiners

Blueb4sunrise June 14, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Now on YouTube:

All the other kids have pumped-up kicks and you have an empty wallet? No worries. As these videos show, with a little creativity and craftiness, you can produce your own custom one-of-a-kind pair.

In my day we had to decorate our sneakers with rat blood, dog shit, and industrial waste. These kids today don't know how good they have it.

Dr_Zoidberg June 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm

You had rat blood? Elitist.

BarackMyWorld June 14, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I don't vote until I know who Mr. T is supporting.

edgydrifter June 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Haven't you seen his ads? He's with the Night Elf campaign.

prommie June 14, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Thats some agenda, that Agenda 21.

BarackMyWorld June 14, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Better than Agendas 1 through 20! But Agenda 22 might be better…

CommieLibunatic June 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Not that bullshit one-world government conspiracy again. We can't get 50 states to agree on how to care for our sick, but these wackos think the UN can just snap it's fingers and unite nearly 200 nations with sinister bike-sharing programs?

It's the same kind of ignorance required to believe that the same government that proved incapable of maintaining the levies in New Orleans could've faked the Moon Landings.

EatsBabyDingos June 14, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Condemnation to Condomnation: Volume LXIX of the Conseratives Encylopedia.

gullywompr June 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Cities they hate: NYC, LA, San Fran, Chicago… as you noted, list goes on, but oddly enough, Las Vegas is still OK.

Antispandex June 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm

What happens in Las Vegas, Oklahoma, stays….

BarackMyWorld June 14, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Someone's trying to out-snark you guys with that internship "graphic." You gonna stand for that?

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Now signed into law, "This bill, that would bar the state from taking over private property without due process, is intended to shelter Alabamians from the United Nations Agenda 21, a sustainable development initiative that some conservatives see as a precursor for the creation of a world government," Alabama GOP Executive Director T.J. Maloney said…

Alabama — practicing nullification, even if they have to do it to things that aren't laws, just to stay in practice.

Dr_Zoidberg June 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Conservatives aren't fond of words like 'intelligence' unless it's 'Intelligent Design', or 'gun control' unless it's "Gun Control Law Defeated' or 'African-American' unless it's 'African-American Killed For Holding Skittles Dangerously'.

freakishlywrong June 14, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I find Conseratives to be self-loathing, amirite?

DerrickWildcat June 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm

This is nonsense. Conservatives have many celebrities. Like that guy that killed all those kids. The lady that drowned her kids in the tub. The other guy that shot all his coworkers. There are many more.

fuflans June 15, 2012 at 10:35 am

plus! victoria jackson!

mormos June 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

#1 is Bisexuals!
I am proud to be hated by conservatives by simple virtue of existence!

vulpes82 June 14, 2012 at 2:01 pm

But bisexuals DON'T exist, silly!

LetUsBray June 14, 2012 at 1:52 pm

So, Willard Romney held Massachusetts' anti-bullying policy down and cut 'bisexual' and 'transgendered' off of it.

ttommyunger June 14, 2012 at 2:48 pm

""Now excuse me, I have to go refill our editrix’s flask." … Then bathe her and bring her to my tent.

TribecaMike June 14, 2012 at 9:02 pm

It all started with McHale's Navy. Damn you Ernest Borgnine, damn you to hell!

Designer_Radio June 14, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"Climate Change" is their own term, coined by Frank Luntz to replace "Global Warming", another word they hated. So much word hatin'. When does the book burning start?

fuflans June 15, 2012 at 10:41 am

well to be fair, i just heard that george bush's head appeared on 'game of thrones', so he's famous.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Whoa! Um, sort of relevant to the tampons reference, dear. I didn't realize your threads were temples of godliness and purity. I'll be sure to pay attention to that in the future.

Barb June 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm

FUCK YOU and fuck "Sluggo" too.
Rebecca only has one eye and NO as you asked last week, her son is NOT the "R" word.

I am tired of your shitting on my posts.
Oh, and the tampon reference has Nothing to do with vodka.

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Jan died in 2004, sadly.

prommie June 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Kricfalusi libel!

actor212 June 14, 2012 at 12:44 pm

You know what I hate about getting old? Tropes that came and went once come around at least twice more, so when I'm thinking of the first go-round, the world has moved along.

*sigh*

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