rumors on the internets

Celebrities Destroying America, According to Television

Such a pretty picture!According to the news today, the GOP hates celebrities, hates television, and hates words. St. Ronald Reagan would be so ashamed.
  • The GOP doesn’t like it when Obama uses celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker or Anna Wintour in his campaign, but they all fall over themselves over Donald Trump! See, the real problem is that no one cares about these celebrities anyway. Well, okay. Maybe Carrie Bradshaw, but you know people who watch a TV show about women in New York are a bunch of Obama-lovers anyway. [The Daily Beast]
  • Do presidential TV ads actually work? No, but they do showcase how a candidate will market himself. The graphics better be Avatar-level awesome, is what we’re saying. [Washington Post]
  • Here is an article about words conservatives hate and why. Wonkette didn’t make the list, but we know they think of us fondly. [The Atlantic]
  • Finally, here is an infographic about when we know about internships. The results will surprise you, but they show that Wonkette is a God among companies that have internships. Now excuse me, I have to go refill our editrix’s flask. [Slate]
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  • nounverb911

    "here is an infographic about when we know about internships. "
    Sulagna's looking for a raise?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      She's a paid intern?

      How liberal of Editrix!

    • HoytClagwell

      No raise for Sluggo until she stops forgetting the mouseover alt-text on the stories she files. I live for those.

  • Barb

    "Now excuse me, I have to go refill our editrix’s flask."
    And make sure that you stock the freezer with fresh tampons for her.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      She probably pours her vodka straight onto her eyeball.

      What?

      • Barb

        Oh god! This HAD to be said?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I'm told it's a thing! Enquiring minds and all.

          • Barb

            Could you make it a "thing" as a post of your own and not tag every post I make with this nonsense, please?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Whoa! Um, sort of relevant to the tampons reference, dear. I didn't realize your threads were temples of godliness and purity. I'll be sure to pay attention to that in the future.

          • Barb

            FUCK YOU and fuck "Sluggo" too.
            Rebecca only has one eye and NO as you asked last week, her son is NOT the "R" word.

            I am tired of your shitting on my posts.
            Oh, and the tampon reference has Nothing to do with vodka.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Seems that drunk Data put too much vodka in the internship chart.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    SLUGGO!

    Wait, what does our Sexay Editrix drink?

    I'm asking for a friend.

    • nounverb911

      The juice of fresh squeezed interns?

    • mrpuma2u

      What does she drink? What do you have lots of?

    • gullywompr

      I'd "fill her flask" any day. Just sayin'.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Here is an article about words conservatives hate and why.

    Did you mean conservitaves or conseritaves? I understand there's a difference.

  • Katydid

    Donald Trump is different because shut up.

    • Geminisunmars

      Because he's the kind of celebrity white trash can relate to.

    • hollywooddood

      We get George Clooney. They get Ted Nugent, Hank Williams, Jr. and Victoria Jackson.

  • nounverb911

    Why do conservatards not hate Wonkette?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Do you mean "conseritards"?

  • pickletickle

    Words, graphics? All the silky-smooth-voiced Barry has to do is sing an Al Green song for 30 seconds during daytime TV, and the chick's will be creaming themselves all the way to the polls.

  • nounverb911

    Television hasn't been the same since "Kukla, Fran and Ollie" went off the air.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Oddly, it does have more Bozos, nowadays.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        *sipping Bear Whiz Beer quietly*

        • prommie

          "Its in the water"

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Madge: "You're soaking in it"…..

            Is she still alive?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Jan died in 2004, sadly.

          • prommie

            Kricfalusi libel!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            You know what I hate about getting old? Tropes that came and went once come around at least twice more, so when I'm thinking of the first go-round, the world has moved along.

            *sigh*

  • HarryButtle

    Hey, they got Ted Nugent and Chuck Norris and that pig that used to be on Saturday Night Live and Alec Baldwin's goofy little brother, what are they complaining about?

    • freakishlywrong

      That. They're complaining about that.

    • Geminisunmars

      Yah, they got klass.

    • LetUsBray

      AND the voice of Sideshow Bob!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Celebrity is the new ghey for GOPers.

    • gullywompr

      Kirk Cameron is leading the charge on this.

  • gullywompr

    Here's a word conservatives hate: "Fucking lousy fucking racist fucks!" Or at least, they didn't seem to care for it when I said it.

  • SexySmurf

    the GOP hates celebrities

    At first glance that seems hypocritical, but Janine Turner, Victoria Jackson, Scott Baio and that one Baldwin who isn't Alec haven't been famous in years.

    • gullywompr

      Washington is Hollywood for ugly people. And Hollywood has-beens.

    • pickletickle

      Some say those B-list celebs are B-list because of their political views. However, extensive research shows they are B-list because they fucking suck at acting.

  • fartknocker

    I would much rather listen to Sarah Jessica Parker (and watch her breasts) for 60 seconds than listen to this blathering shit-fer-brains for the same time period:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU7fhIO7DG0

  • Antispandex

    " Here is an article about words conservatives hate and why. "

    They left off so many. For instance, there's "science", "logic", "reason", "fairness"…I could go on, but you get the point.

    • freakishlywrong

      And..drumroll please; "librul".

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      'sermon on the mount'

  • RedneckMuslin

    "Celebrities Destroying America, According to Television"

    Yes, I agree. There's Chuck Norris, Ronald Reagan, Fred Thompson, and that one Baldwin brother. They kind of destroyed TV, too.

  • edgydrifter

    What conservatives hate:

    1) Things they don't understand
    2) Things that differ from their imaginary ideal of "how things used to be"
    3) Things that make them feel naughty in the shame-bits
    4) Getting caught
    5) Themselves (strictly at the subconscious level, though)

    • gullywompr

      And us.

    • Antispandex

      6.) Furiners

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Now on YouTube:

    All the other kids have pumped-up kicks and you have an empty wallet? No worries. As these videos show, with a little creativity and craftiness, you can produce your own custom one-of-a-kind pair.

    In my day we had to decorate our sneakers with rat blood, dog shit, and industrial waste. These kids today don't know how good they have it.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      You had rat blood? Elitist.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I don't vote until I know who Mr. T is supporting.

    • edgydrifter

      Haven't you seen his ads? He's with the Night Elf campaign.

  • prommie

    Thats some agenda, that Agenda 21.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Better than Agendas 1 through 20! But Agenda 22 might be better…

    • CommieLibunatic

      Not that bullshit one-world government conspiracy again. We can't get 50 states to agree on how to care for our sick, but these wackos think the UN can just snap it's fingers and unite nearly 200 nations with sinister bike-sharing programs?

      It's the same kind of ignorance required to believe that the same government that proved incapable of maintaining the levies in New Orleans could've faked the Moon Landings.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Condemnation to Condomnation: Volume LXIX of the Conseratives Encylopedia.

  • gullywompr

    Cities they hate: NYC, LA, San Fran, Chicago… as you noted, list goes on, but oddly enough, Las Vegas is still OK.

    • Antispandex

      What happens in Las Vegas, Oklahoma, stays….

  • BarackMyWorld

    Someone's trying to out-snark you guys with that internship "graphic." You gonna stand for that?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Now signed into law, "This bill, that would bar the state from taking over private property without due process, is intended to shelter Alabamians from the United Nations Agenda 21, a sustainable development initiative that some conservatives see as a precursor for the creation of a world government," Alabama GOP Executive Director T.J. Maloney said…

    Alabama — practicing nullification, even if they have to do it to things that aren't laws, just to stay in practice.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Conservatives aren't fond of words like 'intelligence' unless it's 'Intelligent Design', or 'gun control' unless it's "Gun Control Law Defeated' or 'African-American' unless it's 'African-American Killed For Holding Skittles Dangerously'.

  • freakishlywrong

    I find Conseratives to be self-loathing, amirite?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    This is nonsense. Conservatives have many celebrities. Like that guy that killed all those kids. The lady that drowned her kids in the tub. The other guy that shot all his coworkers. There are many more.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      plus! victoria jackson!

  • mormos

    #1 is Bisexuals!
    I am proud to be hated by conservatives by simple virtue of existence!

    • vulpes82

      But bisexuals DON'T exist, silly!

  • LetUsBray

    So, Willard Romney held Massachusetts' anti-bullying policy down and cut 'bisexual' and 'transgendered' off of it.

  • ttommyunger

    ""Now excuse me, I have to go refill our editrix’s flask." … Then bathe her and bring her to my tent.

  • TribecaMike

    It all started with McHale's Navy. Damn you Ernest Borgnine, damn you to hell!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Radio

    "Climate Change" is their own term, coined by Frank Luntz to replace "Global Warming", another word they hated. So much word hatin'. When does the book burning start?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    well to be fair, i just heard that george bush's head appeared on 'game of thrones', so he's famous.