Hello, Shell Oil! Have you fired your social media guru yet, or the ad agency that came up with the idea of crowdsourcing Shell’s Let’s Go! Arctic campaign? Did it at least occur to you to borrow an RNC intern to scoop out all the “cunts” and “fucks” and whatnot before posting them on your Let’s Go! Arctic site? What about all the ads about the polar bears you are murdering? Do you think Coca-Cola might have something to say about that? thanked the YesMen for their beautiful tribute to you? Let us look, together, at what these terrible Internet hooligans have wrought on poor Shell Oil. Here are some images from just the first page of Shell’s the YesMen’s Let’s Go! Arctic campaign site, where terrible hippies have taken to their keyboards to mock poor Shell (MOCK THEM!) for their great environmentalism. UPDATE! Yes, it’s the YesMen.
Here, have all these wonderful images courtesy of the sharp eyes of Wonkette operative “Hans”:
Now, children, go and play!
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This right here is why I love the Internet so very much. NEVER CHANGE.
A thousand times yes! We live in a glorious age.
The internet isn't a series of tubes for pumping oil through?
The internet is a series of tubes filled with cats. http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/04/05/funny-pi…
Ohjeez! That there is some funnay stuff! I think Imma go over to the Shell site and play.
TIEDED: Fucking firewalls….how do they work?
"Fucking firewalls….how do they work?"
You fly too near them with your little pointy thing and they set your ass on fire.
Or so I'm told by an ultra techie friend of mine.
I saw that in Cabin In The Woods.
Because Oil-Soaked Seagulls are small enough and slick enough to jam right into your fuel tank!
It's like a tampon for your car!
What a great idea for an alternative fuel source! Don't waste time cleaning those birds, just stuff 'em in the gas tank and drive like there's no tomorrow.
Now I'm starting to smell a TAX CREDIT…like $5 for every bird you "recycle" for fuel use.
Let me know when they make a car that runs on pigeons.
Now that is some Grade AAA, genuine, internets comedy right there. You realize that there is a hell in Shell – and that's where they want to take us…lets go!
I think this one is my favorite
amazing.
(and I'm referring to your ability to embed links in your comments)
Holy crap! The Titanic sinking is something Shell actually PROVIDED?!?!?!?!?!
That was the Exxon- Valdez.
Too soon!
Ay. Oh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-V2TYPzJfE
The Ramones should sue.
Shell Oil spelled upside down is 710 11345. But not so much with this font.
Thanks a lot Redneck, you just gave every one my telephone number.
Do you do dirty deeds, dirt cheap?
And the walrus is Paul?!
Shell's shitting us, right?
Do it!!!!!!!
Over at Repubican Party Headquarters, these are the ones they like best.
"Because Al Gore is fat and lives in a big house.
Let's go."
Private jet, also. Too.
How long until they take this down? And it still amazes me how idiotic companies are that they just keep doing this shit.
Didn't Chevy do something stupid like this a few years ago with an ad for Suburbans or something? I wonder if it was the same advertising agency. That would be very funny.
"Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts,
Canyonero!"
i submit to you http://arcticready.com/sites/default/files/styles…
Needs moar voting buttons
This is epic!
If that happened/when that happens, won't the polar bears get into a fight with the sharks?
Isn't this sorta like telling a guy: "Your sister's really smart and pretty. You must be very proud of her. Mind if I rape her?"
"Your sister is a common resource that we all share."
Fuck. That site doesn't work here at teh Air Force. I hope it's still up when I get home tonight!!
According to my recent perusing, it won't be.
Dang. The red x's just aren't that amusing.
"Only a queer would drive a Prius.
Let's go."
Hey, I drive a Prius!
Oh, wait.
This website has to be the work of The Yes Men. There is no way this is real.
Bingo. I smell spoof.
Yes!
Called it!!
Definitely. Their description of the "Kulluk" oil drilling platform describes it as drilling a "24-foot diameter glory hole"… ROFL!!!
Ding ding ding. You've been paying attention to stuff.
http://arcticready.com/social/5507348-i-am-sooooo…
Here's mine!
And another!
And finally…
Yes!!
The Titanic one is the shizzle, my zizzle.
Then vote it up, man!
OK, one more
Beeyootiful. (Hugs Dok)
"We heart Kochs! Let's go."
OT But thank God the maimed animals appear to have gone from Wonkette, i can come back now .
Oooo. This is fun. http://arcticready.com/social/8354895-shell-fueli…
http://arcticready.com/social/3279408-34-million-…
What does this mean, this "hubris" ?
Yeah, I throw my vote in the 'Not Real' corner, as most of the other links on the website are 'down for maintenance'.
Mine: http://arcticready.com/social/7618511-gross-this-…
that is super good.
As much as I want this to be real, apparently this might be a greenpeace hoax…. Something tells me Shell wouldn't have included the Titanic in the stock images. F U greenpeace, I'm going to go kill a whale.
Click on the Just for Kids link.
Finally. Some actual truth in advertising.
Shell “donates” millions to various governments around the world and gets some climate change in return.
And everybody else gets climate change, too.
Who says trickle down doesn't work?
http://arcticready.com/social/8477002-screw-you-b…
or http://arcticready.com/social/9885118-gotta-love-…
DAMMIT!
It's a parody site…
http://arcticready.com/
Yup. see also http://arcticready.com/classic-kulluk
and http://arcticready.com/kids (warning–dumb flash game auto-play noise)
Curses! Oh well, still hilarious.
doh! punked by the internet. The irony is giving me a headache.
yeah but i need to practice snark in other places too.
Still doesn't mean we can't make hi-larious ads.
Did it at least occur to you to borrow an RNC intern to scoop out all the “cunts” and “fucks” and whatnot before posting them …?
Maybe not.
Whois lists the "arcticready.com" site as registered to an entity of the same name at a p.o. box out of Vancouver, Washington (ie no affiliation with shell or its parent entities). I'm guessing this is a hoax – the language is way too over the top for bland corporate types to put on a public website, and who the heck would give away a trip to watch an oil derrick in action?
Vancouver, WA?
Adbusters!
If we needed further proof of the parodic nature, here's a sample from the page about the drilling vessel Kulluk:
On the slight chance that something does go wrong, Shell's spill cleanup plan is second to none. No one has yet fully determined how to clean up an oil spill in pack ice or broken ice—but that too is exactly the sort of challenge we love.
Waaaaay too honest to be real.
We at Shell want everyone to feel as "pumped" as we do
Well, your Republican allies in Congress certainly get pumped on a regular basis…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiFD6EFVsTg ?
Somehow, this is all Obama's fault.
Did you notice that all the animals up there are white? Obviously, Barack "Jeremiah Wright" Obama hates them all.
Because Kenyan Saul Alinsky.
Obama hates the Arctic because there is no warm place to shit.
There's a Shell refinery here in my little town, so I guess I'm gonna have to print these up and do a little postering tonight.
Built in 1983 by the Japanese Mitsui company, the Kulluk drilling platform is vintage, tried and tested technology that exemplifies the best of Shells's Let's Go! arsenal. Among the Kulluk's exciting technologies are a 24-foot diameter glory hole bit for punching holes deep in the ice, a 20,000-foot drill pipe, 160-foot derrick, 49.5-foot rotary table, 1000-hp top drive, 500-ton swivel, and a 400,000-pound drill string compensator!
Though the Kulluk is now almost 30 years old, she was inactive for fourteen of them, making her as reliable as a much younger craft.
http://arcticready.com/classic-kulluk
Yeah, this is parody.
Try using a cherry 30-year teevee to watch the stuff that now comes through the aether rather than the cable.
http://arcticready.com/social/3577975-were-genera…
GM did the same thing like ten years ago, and also got a lot of internet beating. Shell has no excuses not to expect this.
We're going to fuck this little fox's face off. Let's Go!
This is even more fun than mocking the GW Bush Library.
Seriously… did they really think this through?
It's a parody, but it's a good one. Check out the "Angry Bergs" game under the Just for Kids link.
Am I missing some funny joke here? This is either a hacked site or a bogus site, right? Tell me it's not really Shell Oil's doing….?
Darn this is fun: http://arcticready.com/social/5309451-fuck-you http://arcticready.com/social/6327098-exxon-tanke…
If only we could turn the blood of environment murdering oil company sociopaths into a fuel source, we'd have enough energy for three millennia.
For comparative purposes, here is the real Shell Oil website.
http://www.shell.com/
It's a pretty good facsimile.
Exactly. It's a fake site. But still funny.
OK. Somebody who can make the site work, please make this one:
The water scene with the three poles sticking out.
Caption: You know all those islands the Marines fought and died to take from the Japanese? Yeah, they're all underwater thanks to global warming.
Say what you like, but telling Marines their graves are going to be washed away when the sea levels rise just might get them to change their minds about this issue. I know that's asking a lot from those boneheads, but it's worth a try.
Here's my contribution to the cause:
http://arcticready.com/social/2636407-the-only-go…
Phil Sheridan would be proud.
here's mine. http://arcticready.com/social/9584180-see-you-in-…
See you in (S)hell
Let's Go!
I like.
Let's go!
That's some mighty fine culture jamming right there.
http://arcticready.com/social/2546795-earth-first…
Those brought one of those happy little tears to my eyes. Seriously though, where's the picture of Sarah Palin raining death on those "cute" animals from her helicopter?
I LUV U INTERWEBS.
OK, here's mine:
http://arcticready.com/social/6307370-my-god-the-…
Great. Truly.
Even if it's bullshit, let's just do like the rightwing would and pretend it's true.
Politics is now a memetic war.
That was fun. I'm so proud of the Wonkette community.
http://arcticready.com/social/2018911-fracking-go…
Proof it was a spoof site: Their About page, which ends with:
If I were a gay Mormon who was single, I'd ask all of the Yes Men to marry me …
The Yes Men are MORMONS? Who knew?
No internet prank would be complete without Weedlord Bonerhitler
Oh, GAWD, am I gonna have to look like THAT, ntR?
Eventually.
http://arcticready.com/sites/default/files/styles…
http://arcticready.com/sites/default/files/styles…
Awesome "Just for Kids" page explains that Artic drilling is good because: "Mommy and Daddy can drive to the store to buy you new toys." WTF Shell!
http://arcticready.com/sites/default/files/styles…
I thought we should combine two memes at once: On Mitt Romney's First Day in Office http://arcticready.com/social/8569868-on-mitt-rom…
Hey…I think I can see Mitt on the stern organizing the deck chairs.
Most excellent. Duly upfisted.
here is mine:
http://arcticready.com/social/8910256-because-bp-…
(sniff!)
I can never resist these things!
http://arcticready.com/social/142927-yes-i-am-act…
http://arcticready.com/social/5055768-there-is-no…
http://arcticready.com/social/9593965-fear-the-le…
http://arcticready.com/social/3801916-thank-god-t…
http://arcticready.com/social/5869056-the-arctic-…
What the hell – here's another: http://arcticready.com/social/3472162-no-i-dont-t…
Excellent.
The levitating fox is simply priceless.
Here's a little music to go with our rainy day fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-C75m1D9U4
http://arcticready.com/social/3292419-the-sooner-…
I tried.
I like.
God, that's addictive. Wish they had more photos to choose from.
here's mine.
I don't think the Wonketters are the only ones having fun with this. The gallery is hilarious.
My humble contribution:
http://arcticready.com/social/7738714-see-polars-…
Another:
http://arcticready.com/social/4787880-removing-th…
I MADE A THING!
link or stfu
HEy! HA!
You didn't make a bear, did you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fyCa3NHabo
I did make a bear!
Well? Where is it?
I didn't save any of them.
Figures… I finally get in the door on one of these before they shut the fun down, and it end's up being a hoax :(
Still pretty fucking funny though…
A simple truth.
Edit: Maybe I should have gone with "Because there's more money in consumption than conservation."
Excellent!
http://arcticready.com/social/3482258-because-bun…
http://arcticready.com/social/3109796-theres-some…
http://arcticready.com/social/8069851-bears-are-s…
Kidzoom here. I… I couldn't resist
Kid, when are you gonna sign up and give the old man a run for his money? Those are DREADFUL. And I mean that in the *best* way.
I'm going to take a moment to be a total girl here, and say that the little white arctic fox is the cutest thing ever.
Shell Oil is winning the War on Christmas.
http://arcticready.com/social/6450524-santa-claus…
So the ol' Wonk is gettin bamboozled by Shell hoaxes lately huh
HEY I WAS TIRED. But yes I would have anyway.
It's okay, we all want Shell to fail.
I just want to epress my gratitude to all you young whippersnappers who contributed to the subversive pages in this thread today. I love you all, and I think you struck at the heart of the beast today!
Love,
proudgrampa
I appreciate humor and sarcasm as a tool obviously; I'm a Wonketeer, but I can't seem to laugh at anything that brings Shell, Exxon and their ilk to mind. They destroy economies, families, countries and lives on a daily, premeditated basis. The evil they accomplish in the name of corporate profit is truly unfathomable.
I love this:
http://arcticready.com/social/2151447-because-thi…
I'm so proud: http://arcticready.com/social/4450770-i-understan…
I see all you Worthly Wonket Skum have been playing all day long without me.
All right, here:
WlBh
Arctic Ice
Petrothulu
Petro
Cheney
350 ppm
Melt ice
Corexit
I didn't get the 350 ppm. Everything else — sheer genius.
Well, that one got fucked!
Was referencing This and it should have looked like This
All the good Weedlord Bonerhitler jokes have already been taken.
Not yet.
Maybe not, but you can certainly run your SUV over cute.
Yeah, it's fun:
Miss me yet?
Tony
Rex 1
Rex 2
Don Young 1
Don Young 2
Wonkette…can't you figure out what is yes men and what is not? Maybe they could give you a hotline number.
This shit is fucking AWESOME.
One more
Okay, this is the one.
Thank you. Please feel free to screencap, use & distribute as you will!
Will do.
btw, nobody does office pranks quite like David Thorne.
Frogs can be taught to weld.
I like this guy. Reminds me of someone.
Thanks!
Creature, you're BRILLIANT.
*BLUSH*
OMG, I'm flirting wiv a cuttlefish! Just kidding dear, I know you're too shy for that stuff. Thanks for the cephalopod.
Here's Yet More:
Dr, Gonzo
Bat Country
TruckNutZ
Must. Stop. Now.
What DO you do when you're not, you know, Wonketting, because you're so, all talented and stuff dear.
I would nevertheless not mind having such a job, gleefully taking Shell's $$$ in exchange for sage consultation like, "No really! All that mockery you see on Twitter is excellent publicity! The Youngs just use the Internet for Permanent Opposite Day; this is their way of showing gratitude."
Shh! You're giving the game away!
Oh, Derrick. I would've loved to see your bear.
You're welcome. I peed myself when I read "Justin's Floodlight".
"Our primary spoken language is screaming."
This is the one line that's still making me laugh at inappropriate, random times.
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