RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  3:30 pm June 13, 2012

Mitt Can’t Go Home Again

by Sulagna Misra

Why yes I do look like a goddessMitt Romney is giving up on his roots, the Swedes are embarrassed, and “.pizza” is available as a domain name! It’s a trippy day all around, folks.
  • Mitt Romney is forsaking his home states Michigan, Massachusetts, and California, because he knows he can’t win in them. He becomes the first ever presidential candidate to do so. Congrats, Mitt! [The Daily Beast]
  • The @sweden Twitter account, which is given to a new Swede every week to highlight the country’s diversity, was recently taken over by a young woman who went on a rant against Jews. There was no way to foresee such a thing could happen. [Slate]
  • There are some new internet domain names available! Quick, pick up .[yourname] before someone turns it into, say, a dating website (like www.sulagna.com used to be). [NPR]
  • And finally, Michelle Obama has joined Pinterest! Unfortunately it’s not about her super awesome style — of course, the First Lady has more important things to pin up! But still…[Washington Post]
 
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{ 58 comments }

nounverb911 June 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Maybe Mitt should consider Utah for his next compound. There's an opening in Juniper Creek.

Barb June 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Mitt doesn't have to go home. I suggest that he just go to hell.

noodlesalad June 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

No, it already says he gave up on Michigan.

Callyson June 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I'll settle for him getting out of California (bad enough Reagan *and* Nixon were from here) and staying out of the White House…

DemmeFatale June 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Yes, I'm totally sick of Mormon influence in CA.
They sure didn't do themselves any favors by inundating us with Yes on Prop 8 propaganda.
And just when I was thinking, "eh, they're harmless enough."
(Nice PR move, guys!)

I agree, Reagan and Nixon were bad enough.

el_donaldo June 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Any rumors about why Sulagna was sleeping in today? Seizures {wink, wink}?

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 4:31 pm

We don't have seizures around here, we have the DT's.

slowhansolo June 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Funny how these guys always give up on the states that know them best.

mormos June 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

million upfists

Steverino247 June 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

There's just not enough lube in the world…

lulzmonger June 13, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I upfisted the FUCK out of this & recommend others do the same.
It's hilarious because it's true!

mavenmaven June 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

What would the now inevitable Chuck Grassley Pinterest page look like?

el_donaldo June 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm

What's the visual scrapbook equivalent of a long, slow stroke? Maybe the same photo of an ear of corn over and over again.

Come here a minute June 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Mitt shouldn't quit on those states. His witty lay-off jokes will win them over yet.

Reginald_Perrin June 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Maybe Mitt should consider going to his ancestral homeland, sunny Mexico.

VaWyo June 13, 2012 at 3:54 pm

To visit the graves of his 14 grandmothers.

nounverb911 June 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Hey, I just nabbed .Wonkette! .Rmoney is next.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

SLUGGO!

You used to be a dating site?

Say, baby, come here often?

noodlesalad June 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I heard they outsourced the plant that produced Mittbot 2012 to China a few years ago anyway.

mormos June 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm

guess who oversaw the outsourcing

Billmatic June 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Dumb Swedish girl, everybody in Kazakhstan know Jews have horns and claws.

SexySmurf June 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm

given to a new Swede every week to highlight the country’s diversity

Which ranges all the way from platinum blond bikini model to yellow-haired, incoherent chef.

MosesInvests June 13, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Bork, bork, bork!

Butch_Wagstaff June 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm

But the felt fella is smarter.

Goonemeritus June 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Not Sweden too, and I love their furniture and porn so much.

Ryy June 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I just want to point out that there has never been a single case of anti-semitism documented in northern Europe, and only a few very minor cases in Europe generally.

Negropolis June 14, 2012 at 1:21 am

Bwahahahaha!

ManchuCandidate June 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

It would have been much less embarassing to let the most famous Sveed, the Sveedish Chef, tweet.

"Byork Byork! BYORK!!!

SayItWithWookies June 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Hell, Mitt's not even welcome at an Iowa diner anymore — I guess that's what happens when you run into a place like you own it, damage the furniture, diss the actual owner, gouge the equipment and leave the place trashed. In case you were wondering what he'd do to America.

Pragmatist2 June 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

It's weird that the Swedish lady tweets in English.

BerkeleyBear June 13, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Sweden has long used English as its second/unofficial language. From the few Swedes I've met (which disabused me of the idea Swedes are all blonde swimsuit models) English is pretty much mandatory for anyone who wants to go to college/get a decent job.

But they do fuck up idiomatic usage all the time.

Negropolis June 14, 2012 at 1:23 am

LOL!

English may as well be the co-language of Scandinavia. And, they don't just speak English, but with the most generic, watered-down accent you'll ever hear. It's like they are from Lima, Ohio or something. Only the Dutch seem to rival them in being able to speak English with a generic American (Midland) accent.

ManchuCandidate June 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Mittens proves the old adage: To know him is to loathe him.

emmelemm June 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Familiarity breeds contempt.

SayItWithWookies June 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Every time I hear about Pinterest I think "Wow — I can't believe Christopher Columbus crossed the ocean in that little thing." One of the few ambitions I haven't given up on yet is to maintain that level of ignorance.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Toughest thing about that voyage was getting the wireless signal in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Negropolis June 14, 2012 at 1:26 am

The crew of the Santa Margarita is the one I wish I could have partied with.

OneYieldRegular June 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Oh no. Is Mitt giving up Switzerland and the Cayman Islands too?

hagajim June 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Funny, even the people who live by Mitt don't like him. Who'da thunk it.

PuckStopsHere June 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

What's wrong with Michigan??? He said our trees were just the right height!

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Well, the state said Lisbeth Salander was not competent. Giving her that Twitter was just playing with fire.

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

They would have been better off giving her the twitter account.

BelleSC June 13, 2012 at 6:15 pm

God forbid she get near a hornet's nest.

ttommyunger June 13, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Which home? He owns several throughout the world, ya know? I'm guessing you're referring to his mind's home: La La Land. And no, I don't mean L.A. BTW, my Rightard Friends here in Dumbfukistan are screaming foul over George "Shooty" Gonzales' ol lady getting arrested for lying to a judge. These are the same hillbillies that wanted Bubba impeached for allegedly the same offense.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Switzerland and the Caymans don't get electoral votes.

Dashboard Buddha June 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"taken over by a young woman who went on a rant against Jews. "

I bet it was one of those Shell-style spoof sites.

Nostrildamus June 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Comments? Reach me at nostril@butt.pizza.

DahBoner June 13, 2012 at 5:12 pm

There's no place like Planet Xenu, there's no place like Planet Xenu, there's no place like…

Antispandex June 13, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Today, we are all Californians (because, let's face it, it beats Michigan and that other place you made up).

Jukesgrrl June 13, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Let's hope there's not an @Switzerland. One of those Bachmann's might get to write.

Opportunisticly_Joe June 13, 2012 at 5:29 pm

If Mitt were to win this election, he'd be making history: the last person to win the general election despite losing in his home state was Al Gore.

bobbert June 13, 2012 at 6:38 pm

What you did there was seen by me.

gurukalehuru June 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

That wasn't an anti-Semitic rant. Jews are too fucking sensitive.

Negropolis June 14, 2012 at 1:27 am

Don't you have a blog to be whoring or something?

PubOption June 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm

If her husband is the President, can Michelle go for the VP(L).

sbj1964 June 13, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Mittens? I still get a boner every time I think of right wing christian GOP F@cktards voting for a Morman? WTF are they that desperate?Why not vote for V. Putin at least he's is a true conserative?

PubOption June 13, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Putin only wants to go back as far as the 1930's or 40's.

Slim_Pickins June 13, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Shoulsn't the fact that Mitt lives in states that wouldn't vote for him tell you something?

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